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About Webslinger

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  1. Terrible news for all of the openers, but it's abundantly clear that this weekend and the next one were intended to act as a dumping ground between two huge tentpoles.
  2. I was very pleasantly surprised with Passengers... for the first 70 minutes. Morphing into a survival thriller undercut the intriguing conundrums and rendered the film's central moral conflict - was Pratt in any way justified to wake Lawrence without her knowledge - irrelevant.
  3. It's hard to blame the studios for being scared of facing F8 and Marvel in the wake of both franchises' past successes, especially since Furious 7 broke out in such a major way.
  4. I love this movie. It doesn't get the baseball right (ooh boy, does it ever not get the baseball right), but the acting and scripting are razor-sharp and the film never sags despite a lengthy run time. Brad Pitt's work as Billy Beane is admirably layered and introspective, giving the audience a glimpse into a character who is chasing some elusive conception of success that goes far beyond the more tangible success he never had as a younger man. A-
  5. Perhaps "sexist" is too strong of a word, but it's that got tagged to Heigl's decision to complain about the women in the film coming across as "shrew-like." I love the film dearly (it's handily one of my favorite comedies of the 2000s), but she's not wrong: the most prominent female characters in the film are made to look uptight by bossing the men around and are made to feel guilty for taking time for themselves (see: the very funny "DOORMAN!" scene) while the men get to slack around for much longer before the script finally calls them out for acting irresponsibly. It's a damn funny movie that I think is ultimately fair to its characters, but it's tough not to see a decidedly male slant to it. That being said, it's leagues upon leagues more woke (woker?) than The Ugly Truth, whose understanding of gender dynamics basically amounted to "men are chauvinist pigs, but women are shallow too, so that's okay as long as everyone's honest about it."
  6. I'll never forget the thick irony of Heigl lambasting Judd Apatow over the sexism in Knocked Up - a movie that, yes, leaned rather heavily on the stereotype of women as the responsibility figures who have to take care of man-children - only to then go on to star in and executive produce The Ugly Truth, which reveled in gender stereotypes about a thousand times worse than anything in an Apatow flick.
  7. The Fate of the Furious is pretty much what I expected: dumb as a post, but highly enjoyable. It's the least of the films since they found their footing with the fifth installment, but I still had many moments in which I couldn't help but smile at the deliriously absurd nature of its over-the-top spectacle. These films have done such a good job of embracing their leaps in logic and elevated machismo that it's easy to overlook problems that would sink more self-serious efforts. Once again, the stunts are aces and the ensemble cast - which gets a terrific assist from the always-stellar Charlize Theron as the most engaging villain of the series to date - is fun to watch. It won't win any new converts to the long-running franchise, but it's solid entertainment for viewers who were already invested in this universe. B And now some Spoilery Stray Thoughts!
  8. A- Get Out Logan B+ Beauty and the Beast John Wick: Chapter 2 The Lego Batman Movie B A Cure for Wellness The Fate of the Furious Split T2: Trainspotting B- Kong: Skull Island Life
  9. I'll give y'all the same condescending piece of advice I got as a teenager: High school sucks, then it's over. Going out of condescending mode, there actually is quite a lot of truth to that statement. When I look back on all the obsessing I did over my love life, whether classmates liked me, or how I was going to keep on surviving in a hostile environment in which it felt like we were all constantly at each other's throats (a feeling exacerbated by the fact that I went to a tiny school with a student body of less than 200), it doesn't bother me because not a lick of it has had any bearing whatsoever on my life as an adult. I get that such an observation probably means nothing when you still have a significant chunk of high school remaining, but just keep looking forward to the future and tell yourself "It's not always gonna be like this" - because it won't. I guarantee you: it won't. In the meantime, perhaps you might want to try my go-to coping strategy from my high school days: watch a metric shitton of movies.
  10. I had a conversation with a stoned student when I was doing classroom observations in undergrad on 4/20. I'm pretty sure I even got a contact high. Honestly, it's kind of a huge buzzkill whenever I realize that April 20 is also the anniversary of the Columbine massacre.
  11. I just can't do iced coffee. Even if the temperature hits triple digits, I'm still getting it hot.
  12. Just buy a ticket for one of those other movies and sneak into Get Out.
  13. I agree with virtually all of the analysis in this post. It's definitely one of the consequences of all the major studios shifting to such a franchise-centric approach more so than at any other past point in their history. I'm also convinced that the preferential ballot has opened the door for movies that might not have had the support to win in the past. Although there's no denying that Spotlight and Moonlight had their large share of ardent fans in the Academy, I find it hard to believe - based upon a reading of the hype in each season - that they got more #1 votes than The Revenant and La La Land, respectively. Minimizing hype backlash is now a more essential task than ever in the Best Picture race.
  14. I've never understood that stupid plotline that has somehow made it into every single Transformers sequel. These guys saved you from far worse robots, and you want to kick them out so that you can be even more vulnerable to attack?
  15. Meh, Milo didn't surprise me. Granted, I figured he would go down for saying something vulgar about adult men, but still... The Tomi Lahren one is still the most hilarious achievement in ignorance. Did she really expect that she could publicly go against the right's pet moral crusade and emerge unscathed?