Popcorn Lobotomy

I rapped my review of this one: I usually get plenty out of a movie that leads with sex and nudity, but 50 Shades did nothing for me. Dakota Johnson is ok, kinda pretty, but she's not someone I would want to see naked. And now that I have, I'd rather unsee it -- she's much more interesting with her clothes on. I guess that's the only positive to having to wait 43 minutes for the first sex scene. As soft porn, it left me... well... soft. The story is only enough to fill a movie half its length and it pretty much fails as a romance for me. The two leads have little chemistry, with Christian Grey acting like a robot and Anastasia overdoing her submissiveness to the point of seeming mentally challenged at times. The portrayal of BDSM seems shallow and more akin to domestic abuse that the kind of role playing that I assume is the focus of BDSM. I don't think you have to be an abused or messed up individual to like being dominant. I'm not in that world, but while researching for my video, I wasn't surprised that many who are found it offensive and disrespectful. BDSM gets a much more interesting treatment in Secretary, where you can understand the characters and follow intricately how they negotiate the power in their relationship, without a single word about it. They don't need contracts, they explore their boundaries through actions. Overall, Fifty Shades of Blah. D. Won't watch the sequel.

Cool, will try that next time, thanks.

Sorry guys I'm in the "boring" camp. The movie probably works really well as a visual augmentation for the graphic novel, but as a fresh viewer who has never read it, the story doesn't really get a chance to shine. I was expecting it to tackle some big themes and have a deeper meaning, but I didn't get a lot of that. I got a lot of blue glowing smurf penis and superhero erectile dysfunction. On the surface, it's all dark and adult and grown up, but it still managed to feel immature to me. It's not a complete failure, but when you're watching an adaptation of source material that's often bandied around as the best graphic novel of all time, I think it's fair to expect more from the film. My video review:

Thanks don't know how I missed it.

Is Watchmen missing, or are my search skills poor?

I flat out hated this movie when I first saw it, but when I recently gave it another look... I still flat out hated it. It's a by-the-numbers rom-com that relies on the pretentious, condescending gimmick of using a historical figure as it's central protagonist. Even a great cast of actors (except Paltrow, she's an utter abomination, as always) couldn't breathe life into this one. The jokes fall flat, the sex scenes are disgusting, and the only motivation people have to say they enjoyed this self-congratulatory in-joke ridden tripe, is the nagging feeling that perhaps it'll mean they are stupid if they don't! More detail, as always, in my video review.

It's difficult to express how mind numbingly offensive I found this film to be. Not only did it insult it's audience with hyper-lazy storytelling, nonsensical plot devices and lowest-common-denominator appeals to our basest instincts, it ruined my childhood at the same time. It felt like being "interfered with" by a bad babysitter back in the 80s. I get where people are coming from when they say, "why not just turn your brain off and enjoy it?", but you'd have to do more than simply turn your brain off to enjoy this travesty of a film, you'd have to rip it out of your skull, feel it to a syphilitic monkey, then reverse-ingest the monkey through your asshole. I explain more about the specifics in my video review:

I think the trailer looks awesome. Like many here, loved Drive, didn't get much out of Only God Forgives. I started watching Bronson a couple of nights ago and liked it, but it just kinda lost me and I ended up doing other stuff. I'll probably like it when I get back to it and focus. This trailer, though, gives me chills. The music and visuals are just amazing. Doesn't mean it'll be a good movie, but I've got my fingers crossed.

Ah, well as much as I'd like to think everything has something to do with me, it probably doesn't. Maybe he got one? Has his writing style become more docile?

Don't sweat it, dude. I once confused the characters of T-Dog and Tyreese in a Facebook post about The Walking Dead. Oh boy did some of my black friends have fun with that! It could have just as easily been Hershel and Dale, or Andrea and Beth!

Nope, I'm Harv from PopcornLobotomy Why, do I sound like him?

This is exactly what I want from a comic book movie. Character interplay and motivation that makes sense, great action (shaky-cam for effect, but done skilfully so you can follow the action and geography) and a solid story broken up with great self-referential humour. But most of all, it's just a fun tone throughout. I actually liked this better than Winter Soldier, so I'm really glad the Russo's are doing another one.

I'd go with the symbology and deeper meaning if any of it made sense. I read dozens of articles (while researching my video review) trying to explain the movie that way and none of them can really accommodate all of the events and visuals in the film, at least not with any symbolic consistency. In fact, Lars Von Trier himself admits he doesn't know what the film means, that he was just depressed, tried meditating with some shamans and ended up hallucinating all these weird images that became the basis for this film. There are some amazing images and even some emotional moments in this film, but overall it's just depressing drivel. LVT made it because he has major mental issues and probably just craves attention. I go into more detail (and in a more entertaining way) in my video review:

Oh well, fingers crossed for Johnson and Trevorrow, then, eh?

And apparently have conflicting feelings about ESB