CAYOM Y10: Part 1 (TAKE TWO) (THIRD TRIMESTER)

[Ethan Hunt]

The Lazy River Squad

Studio: Hunt Productions

Director: Jason Moore

genre: comedy/action

Release Date: June 12th

Runtime: 99 minutes

Theatre Count: 3,390

Budget: 35M

Rating: R

Cast:

Zac Efron

Austin Abrams

Justice Smith

Dylan Minnette

Plot:

Mike (Efron) Joe ( Abrams) Dennis (Smith) and Derek (Minnette) are four college boys who decide to go to the water park for the day and chillax. They soon discover though that the water park is filled with annoying young children who only want to splash and spray water. The boys feel nervous and anxious around the children. Joe decides that they need to challenge all of the younglings to a water war. The other boys think he's crazy considering that they're highly outnumbered but they agree reluctantly. So they go around trying to annoy the splash, squirt, and annoy the children more than the children are them.

[cookie]

THE SCAVENGER WARS

 

Delayed to Fall/Holiday

Edited September 16, 2015 by C00k13

[cookie]

Delayed to Fall

Edited September 15, 2015 by C00k13

[department store basement]

City Launcher/World Builder

Director: Jon Cassar
Studio: Anniversary Films
Genre: Drama
Release Date: May 22nd
MPAA Rating: PG
Theaters: 3,715
Budget: $77 million
Length: 116 minutes

Cast:
Liam Neeson (Paul Paine)
June Squibb (Julie Paine)
Josh Gad (Lou McKingston)
Oscar Isaac (Joseph Wall)

The Archivists:
John Hurt (Michael Dobbs)
Bryce Dallas Howard (Rosie Sophia)
Frank Grillo (Martin Hurberg)
Ian McShane (Nathan Turtle)

 

One-Sentence Summary: In the distant future, a man who wishes to enhance the life of his family ends up bringing the world together again.

Plot: It's 2800. Instead of building on past innovations, mankind has pretty much forgotten about all of them. The film follows Paul Paine (Neeson), a sixtysomething man who lives with his mother Julie (Squibb) and has had no human contact for many years outside of her. He regularly hears tales from her of how technologically advanced the world was 800 years ago. Whenever he's not farming, he spends his time scavenging through caves trying to find clues that will improve his life based on those old advancements. One day he finds a paper that explains electricity to him for the first time, inspiring him to create his own flashlight from scratch. Two younger archaeologists, Lou McKingston (Gad) and Joseph Wall (Isaac), notice a beam coming from Paine's flashlight in the caves, and ask to join him in his journey despite Paine's unwillingness to meet with other humans. Surprisingly for Paine, the three are able to bond over their common desire to rebuild the world of the 2000s. After digging for the required materials, Paine and the archaeologists join forces to reinvent the telephone, the television, air conditioning, semiconductors, and the Internet. A city is built around these reinventions, with Paine as mayor. His mayoral duties go well at first, but after a few months most of the citizens are starving. A group of archivists, led by Michael Dobbs (Hurt), answer the call to help him. They tell him tales of the Green Revolution of the 1940s through 1960s which saved over a billion people from starvation. The archivists join forces with Paine, McKingston, and Wall to recreate the Green Revolution, which brings their accomplishments to the world's attention. Paine's products get mass distribution worldwide, making the world finally interconnected again.

Edited September 14, 2015 by department store basement

[department store basement]

Foster's Kitchen

 

[Delayed until Year 11]

Edited August 23, 2015 by department store basement

[4815162342]

Dishonored

postponed to Spring Year 11

Edited September 14, 2015 by 4815162342

[Ezen Baklattan]

Parallels
"The answers must be found."

Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure/Fantasy/Drama
Director: Michelle MacLaren

Writer: Chris Terrio

Original Score: Thomas Newman
Date: May 22nd
Theaters: 3,724 (Including IMAX)

Rating: PG-13 for instense sequences of sci-fi action/violence, language, and some disturbing images

Runtime: 140min (2hr, 20min)

Budget: $150 million

Cast: Emily Blunt (Kayla Fenton), Chris Hemsworth (Stephen Burwell), Bill Paxton (Liam Watts), Viola Davis (Dr. Gloria Jules), Jason Sudekis (Dr. Anthony Horwitz), Katherine Waterson (Hope), Vincent Karthaiser (Colin DeGira), Jessica Lange (Rowena), Bella Lotz (Frances Fenton), Eden Sher (Megan Powell)

 

Synopsis: With society on the brink of war and potential ruin, a group of scientists send in two officers (Blunt and Hemsworth) to connect to parallel universes to our own and find technologies and systems that can save their world. Unfortunately, their mission becomes more complicated when one of its patrons has an ulterior motive, and that the worlds they visit don't often take kindly to unknown visitors.

Edited August 31, 2015 by Spaghetti

[department store basement]

Get Served is now called Foster's Kitchen, and the director has been changed to Michel Gondry.

Edited August 22, 2015 by department store basement

[Alpha]

The Encounter
"Witness the day the world changed forever."

Director: Dean Israelite
Composer: N/A ("Sleep Sound" by Jamie xx plays during the credits)
Genre: Sci-Fi, Found Footage
Date: May 8th
Studio: Alpha Pictures
Format: Live-action, 2D and IMAX
Budget: $65 million
Theaters: 3,269
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for some intense sequences, coarse language and brief scary images
Running Time: 100 minutes

Starring:
Joel Courtney as John
Tye Sheridan as Tyler
Jake T. Austin as Michael
Olivia Cooke as Lauren
Nat Wolff as Garrick

Summary: From the perspective of a handheld video camera, three high school seniors go to a big going-away party for one of their fellow graduates in San Francisco. However, the arrival of unknown beings changes their world forever.

Plot: COMING SOON

Edited August 23, 2015 by Alpha

[Rorschach]

Asphalt

Director: Brad Peyton

Composer: Junkie XL

Genre: Action/Racing

Date: May 29th

Studio: Lager Studios

Format: 3D and IMAX 3D

Budget: $120 million

Theaters: 3,612

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense action sequences and some language.

Running Time: 105 minutes

Cast:

Keanu Reeves

Dwayne Johnson

James Marsden

Jesse Plemons

Amber Heard

Lena Headey

Sullivan Stapelton

& Joel Kinnaman

Plot:

Edited September 1, 2015 by Cheese

[department store basement]

Launch Builder is now called City Launcher/World Builder, and is now a drama.

Edited August 23, 2015 by department store basement

[4815162342]

In the future do not post those changes here, but do it in the Year 10 discussion thread. This thread is meant solely to have movies posted.

[Alpha]

Runaway Man

Director: John Singleton

Composer: Alexandre Desplat

Genre: Action, Drama

Date: May 29th

Studio: Redlight Films

Format: Live-action, 2D

Budget: $15 million

Theaters: 2,791

MPAA Rating: R for some intense sequences and explicit sexual content

Running Time: 102 minutes

Starring:

Nicole Beharie as Rosario

Jason Mitchell as Lamar

Plot Summary: In downtown Los Angeles, social worker Rosario begins a relationship with a mysterious yet charismatic man named Lamar. However, when Rosario takes notice of Lamar's protective nature, she discovers he's trying to separate himself from a Blood set in town, which puts him at risk from both Bloods and Crips. Lamar then takes it upon himself to fight for his girlfriend's life. Drama ensues. The film creates a mood of the Los Angeles night life that's both dreamy and dangerous, similar to the 2014 film Nightcrawler.

Edited August 23, 2015 by Alpha

[department store basement]

Terminal Red

 

Director: Alexandre Aja

Studio: Anniversary Films

Genre: Horror

Release Date: August 28th

MPAA Rating: R for heavy blood and gore

Theaters: 2,468

Budget: $24 million

Length: 105 minutes

 

Cast:

Daniel Craig (David)

Robert Pattinson (Justin)

Michael Kelly (The Airport Killer)

Patrick Wilson (Head Policeman)

 

One-Sentence Summary: Two ex-millionaires get stuck in an blood-soaked airport and have to save themselves from a man with a knife.

 

Plot: Two British millionaires, David (Craig) and Justin (Pattinson), squander their entire fortunes so they won't have to pay taxes. They use the little money they have stored to book a plane trip to the United States where they won't have to live in the public eye again. Once they arrive there, they notice the airport is covered in blood and that nobody else is there. Everyone else who was on the plane evacuates the airport immediately, but Patrick and Justin stay because they believe it is a good place to hide. That is, until they are confronted by a mysterious man (Kelly), who stabs Justin in the head with a tiny knife before running away. Patrick and Justin chase the man around the terminal, but not before everything starts falling on them. The former millionaires eventually tire out and start fighting with each other for scraps of food. They go to extreme lengths in the process, tearing apart each other's bodies with the restaurants' knives and forks. The mysterious man, exhausted himself, eventually joins in with the fight. After a long battle around the terminal the mysterious man finally kills Justin by eating his face. Since the man is distracted by devouring Justin's body, Patrick escapes to the terminal's exit door. Once he arrives there, he sees a group of police cars have just come. The head policeman (Wilson) is looking for "the Airport Killer," whose murder of everyone in the seating area where Patrick and Justin arrived half an hour before they came was the cause of the evacuation. Only knowing that the killer is white and has brown hair, the policeman arrests Patrick, who is too exhausted to resist. He dies in the car before they can take him to jail. Meanwhile the mysterious man, the real Airport Killer, is already dead from bleeding, his corpse on top of Justin's. The final shot is that of the blood-splattered terminal before the frame fades to red.

Edited September 14, 2015 by department store basement

[Alpha]

Attack of the Movies

 

Director: Chris Columbus

Composer: Henry Jackman

Genre: Comedy/Fantasy/Action

Date: May 15th

Studio: Redlight Films

Format: Live-action, 2D

Budget: $58 million

Theaters: 3,440

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for some language, violence and suggestive content

Running Time: 95 minutes

 

Starring:

Ben Stiller as A.O.K. Scotfree

Kevin James as G. Honeman

Lizzy Caplan as Lisa Scwartzbonner

Michael Peña as Ricardo Ropeman

Kenan Thompson as Armond Black

 

Plot Summary: Five contemporary film critics are sucked into the latest horror film "The Wisconsin Butter Knife Massacre". Now, they have to fight their way out, while also making witty remarks and bad puns along the way. Comedy ensues.

Edited August 23, 2015 by Alpha

[Ezen Baklattan]

On the Record
Genre: Musical/Revue/Comedy/Romance

Director: Kenny Ortega

Date: May 8th

Theaters: 2,753

Cast: Laura Osnes (Diane), Skylar Astin (Nick), Jeremy Jordan (Julian), Jessie Mueller (Kristen), Clark Gregg (Producer), Donald Glover (Sound Producer)

Runtime: 108min (1hr, 48min)

Rating: PG for some thematic material and brief mild language

Budget: $35 million

 

*Note: The film is primarily told though music, with little to no dialogue (the producer and sound producer do not sing, though). During the song, some neat editing occurs, featuring thought bubbles, little animations on the side, and more. It is loosely based on the Disney musical revue of the same name.

 

Four talented Broadway stars are cast to record a CD full of Disney's greatest hits, from "When You Wish Upon A Star" to "Let it Go" to everything in between. Kristen is a young up-and-comer who has broken out on broadway. Nick is a teen heart-throb who has been in recent trouble with the law, seeking redemption in the public eye. Diane is a pop star who has gained a lot of fame in the past few years. Julian is Diane's ex-boyfriend, although he's just as talented. The four seem excited (except for Nick) in recording the album, and the first few recording sessions go very well. The Sound Producer is enjoying mixing the sounds together, getting creative with the beats and even imagining them in the scenarios of the movies, from deep under the sea to soaring above the world in a magic carper. The producer, on the other hand, is so concerned about getting the album together that he always seems to be freaking out on screen.

 

Things get a bit hairy once Kristen and Julian seem to be getting into a bit of an item. Diane becomes jealous, but she tries her best to just keep her past behind her, remembering how it was Julian that broke up with her, and not the other way around. There was bad blood between them, but they decided to remain on good terms. Nick, on the other hand, is reminded of why he never wanted to be in the dating business. ("Why Should I Worry?") However, when Diane finds out that Julian had been bad-mouthing her behind her back, she becomes upset and angry. After tensions boil after a recording session of "For The First Time In Forever" (Including Diane changing the lyrics to talk smack about Kristen), she storms out of the studio and leaves the recording. Julian also reveals some of his own true colors at the session, and Kristen. Nick, still the most cynical of the group, talks to the producer about how unhappy he is about the project. The producer rolls his eyes, telling him that's the Music Industry for you. 

 

Nick, however, can't shake the feeling that this was still something that could have been set right, and he decides to team up with the sound producer to set things right. He runs to Julian and Diane, getting them to re-concile and get Julian to apologize, whereas they also stop Kristen from getting to Grand Central Station and returning home. (The sound producer is grateful that it's not an airport. The TSA don't let just anyone through anymore.) Eventually, Nick becomes more optimistic, and the other three make up, with Kristen and Julian still dating. They decide to finish up the album, which becomes a big hit. This causes the Producer to immediately wan't to make another album, but the four, now friends, collectively decide they want a break.

 

The film ends with the wedding of Julian and Kristen, with Nick and Diane as the best man and maid of honor respectively. The film ends to a medley of "When Can I See You Again", "I-2-I", and "Can't Help Falling In Love".

[Ethan Hunt]

The Grand Winnie the Pooh

Studio: Hunt Productions

Director: James Bobin

Genre: Family/animation

Release Date: May 29

Theatre Count: 3115

Runtime: 86 minutes

Rating:G

Budget: 30M

Cast: Unknowns

Plot:

Not complete yet

[rukaio101]

Monster Hunter

Director: Andrew Stanton
Genre: Fantasy/Action
Date: May 8th
Cast: Dwayne Johnson (Levi), Chadwick Boseman (Ardin), Paget Brewster (Iona), Hafbor Julius Bjornsson (Montan), Luke Evans (Jocasta)

Plot: 

 

Spoiler

The film takes place in a fantasy hunter-gatherer-esque world where huge creatures or ‘Monsters’ roam the land, skies and seas. Most tend to stay in areas away from humans but for those that don’t, there are those who train themselves to deal with these creatures using special oversized weapons forged from monster bones. They use their outstanding skills to fight, capture or defeat these monsters and keep people safe. They are Monster Hunters.

 

We open on three large hunting boats chasing down a Plesioth, an aquatic monster which has been interfering with fishing recently. They initially have some issue catching it, due to its speed underwater and it manages to damage the rudder of one ship, causing it to fall behind. The remaining two ships eventually manage to wound the monster with ballista fixed to the decks, before tangling it in some fishing lines and hoisting it out of the water. Jocasta, the head fisherman, is pleased with the catch. However, he notices that the third ship (the one which fell behind) seems to have vanished. Suddenly, one of his men spots some wreckage floating by. Jocasta goes to examine it only to spot something very large approaching in the distance from under the water. He orders the ballista to fire on it, but the arrows bounce off its scales. It then submerges under the water so the hunters can no longer see. There is a brief moment of tense calm before this leaps out of the water and grabs the captured Plesioth, tearing it apart and eating it, before turning its attention to the boats. Neither the ballista nor fishing harpoons have any effect on it. Jocasta notices several of its spines glowing blue and sparks appearing around its jaw. He shouts for all hands to abandon ship before the monster leaps out and smashes the boat in two. It turns to the one remaining boat and lets out an earth-shattering roar.

 

We cut to a group of kids wandering a forest unaccompanied. One of them says to the others that they shouldn’t be there. The oldest, Mala, doesn’t care. He wants to go hunting a Jaggi, a small raptor like creature. Indeed, they soon find one at a nearby watering hole. However, when they approach it, it lets out a series of shrill howls, calling several of its packmates. Realising they may have gotten themselves in a bit deep, the kids start to back away, only to stumble on a Great Jaggi, the Jaggi’s much larger counterpart, feasting on an Aptonoth. The Great Jaggi chases the kids through the forest until, with its packmates, it manages to corner them against a cliff face. Just when everything seems bleak, the kids hear someone shout ‘Close your eyes!’ A flash bomb is flung into the air, momentarily blinding the Jaggi. While they’re distracted, Levi, a Monster Hunter armed with a huge greatsword (about as big/thick as he is), leaps from the cliff and slashes the Great Jaggi directly across the face. The monster’s skin is too hard to cut through, but it still hurts and angers the beast and brings all his attention to Levi. While Levi is battling the Jaggi, Ardin appears next to the kids and helps escort them to safety. Ardin is a fellow hunter armed with a basic sword/shield. While not the best fighter, he specialises in trapping and has a variety of useful items, like the flashbomb thrown earlier and a sonic bomb that he uses to incapacitate several Jaggi that come after them.

 

Back with the fight against Great Jaggi, Levi is struggling against the creature’s greater strength and size, despite his impressive ability to dodge and roll between its attacks. He is momentarily pinned down by one attack when, suddenly, a small explosive projectile hits the Great Jaggi in the face. We cut to see Iona, the team sniper, reloading her sniper rifle (although it’s more like a sniper cannon) for another shot. With Iona’s covering fire, Levi is able to put up more of a fight against the Great Jaggi, scoring several good blows with his great sword. However, he is caught off guard by one tail swipe which nearly floors him. Luckily, the tail swipe is caught by Montan, a heavily armoured man with a huge lance and shield, who acts as the team muscle/defense. He holds the Great Jaggi’s tail in place long enough for Levi to grab its neck and toss a small Barrel Bomb into its mouth. He leaps clear just as Iona snipes said bomb, causing a small explosion that causes a lot of damage to the Great Jaggi. Rather than fight on, the Great Jaggi chooses to run away, limping in pain.

 

Levi, Montan and Iona meet back up with Ardin and the kids. Mala is fawning over how they took out the Great Jaggi. It is revealed the four are a team of professional Monster Hunters, set to deal with an emergency situation in Moga Village. Mala tells them he and the kids are from Moga Village and agree to escort them there. The group arrives at the village and are introduced to Jocasta (who is Mala’s father and the village chief). Jocasta explains the situation to the hunters. Moga Village is a small fishing village on the shoreline so, naturally, their livelihoods depend on the fishing expeditions they send out. However, recently, a Lagiacrus (the monster seen in the opening) has moved into the area and is territorially attack the fishing boats. Lagiacrus is a very high level monster that uses a series of electrical based attacks to paralyse prey, so there isn’t much the fishermen can do against them. So, instead, they’ve resorted to calling the Monster Hunter Association to help them deal with it, hence why Levi and co are here.

 

While introductions are still being made, a minor earthquake hits the village. Jocasta explains that the earthquakes have been happening fairly regularly lately. In fact, they suspect said earthquakes might be responsible for the change in Lagiacrus’s territory. (Jocasta: “But, unless you want to go beat up some rocks, there’s not much you can do about them.”) Levi and his group start making plans instead to deal with the Lagiacrus. First thing they want to do is go out scouting and try to get a look at it. However, their casual attitude towards it rubs many of the villagers the wrong way and they think the team aren’t taking the situation seriously. The team don’t help this view by Iona acting generally unsociable and unfriendly, Montan being obnoxiously boisterous and Ardin hitting on several village women. In the end, only Jocasta is willing to lend his boat to help the group. They go out to the coast where the Lagiacrus is commonly seen. Using special Monster Hunter Association tech to breath under the water, the team split up to look for the Lagiacrus. When they find it, they are to try and mark it with a special hunting paintball that will allow them to track the creature’s location. Iona stays behind with Jocasta on the boat.

 

Levi, Montan and Ardin each swim around the area. Montan comes across a Royal Ludroth, a monster who tries to pick a fight with him, but he scares it off with a poke from his lance. Ardin spots some rare herbs that grow on the ocean floor and ducks to grab them. While he is picking them, an enormous shadow passes across him. He looks up to see the Lagiacrus swimming directly above him. Luckily, it doesn’t seem to notice him, but it’s heading straight towards the boat. While swimming around the coast, Levi finds an enormous underwater tunnel that seems to lead under the land. For a moment, he believes he can hear something howling from inside, like a whale noise. At the boat, Iona spots Ardin surfacing through her binoculars. However, he seems to be signalling desperately to her. Iona then spots the spine of the Lagiacrus moving towards them. She arms her rifle and shoots it with an explosive round. It doesn’t even flinch. Iona instead points her gun upwards and fires an explosive round as a makeshift flare to signal to the rest of the team. Levi hears this and swims away from the cave. Unseen behind him, something huge starts to move.

 

Back at the boat, Iona snipes the Lagiacrus with an extra strong paint bullet which causes it to leak a coloured stream of water behind it. However, this doesn’t exactly help to stop it or even slow it down. Neither does lobbing barrel bombs into its path. Eventually Iona and Jocasta are forced to simply abandon ship before the Lagiacrus leaps out of the water and destroys it in one hit. Luckily the boat is not that far off shore, so the two are able to try and swim for shore. However, the Lagiacrus is close on their trails and it doesn’t look like they’re going to make it. Before it can eat them up, however, the monster stops and turns around. To distract the Lagiacrus, Ardin has opened a bottle of Bhanabra juice, a special substance that attracts monsters. Unfortunately, that means the Lagiacrus’s attention is now on Ardin. (Ardin: “Huh. Probably should’ve thought that through.”) Luckily Levi and Montan show up to assist. They attempt to fight with the monster, but the underwater environment weakens their attacks and puts them at a serious disadvantage.

 

Meanwhile, Jocasta and Iona have reached shore. Even from there, they can see that the other three are having no luck fighting the Lagiacrus. Iona explains that their best chance of defeating the monster is to lure it onto dry land, but is at a loss as to how they can achieve this as they’d need something more appealing to it than the Bhanabra juice. Jocasta has an idea and runs off, telling Iona to buy him some time. Iona begins shooting at the Lagiacrus again, which takes some of the pressure off the group, but not nearly enough. The Lagiacrus manages to pin Levi against an underwater rock and is about to crush him when, suddenly, it smells something. Back at the shoreline, Jocasta has returned with several other villagers, carrying barrels of fish. They intend to use the smell of fish to lure the Lagiacrus to shore. It works, with Levi, Montan and Ardin hitching a lift back to shore by grabbing onto the Lagiacrus’s scales. Once on shore, they’re able to do a lot more hurt to it. However, the Lagiacrus is still very strong and Iona notices its spines glowing blue and sparks around its jaws. She realises it’s about to use an electrical attack and shouts for everyone to get clear. The resulting attack sends the hunting team flying and leaves them largely at the mercy of the Lagiacrus. However, a Royal Ludroth appears, lured to shore by the smell of fish. While the Lagiacrus is fighting the Royal Ludroth over the fish (and obviously winning), the rest of the team make their escape.

 

After that first disastrous attempt, the team thank the village for the rescue and agree they weren’t taking the Lagiacrus seriously enough. Indeed, that Lagiacrus is huge even for its species standards. To defeat it, they’re likely to need some specialised equipment. The equipment they will need include Tigrex bone (to create extra-piercing shots to get through the Lagiacrus’s armour), Rathalos eggs (which can be sold for enough money to buy some new ships) and Fulgurbugs (small electric firefly-like creatures than can destabilise the Lagiacrus’s electric attacks). However, the Fulgurbugs can’t live long outside their natural habitate. To get the Fulgurbugs, they’ll have to capture a live Zinogre, a beast which houses Fulgurbugs in its mane. The villagers reveal that they used up a lot of their fish stock to lure away the Lagiacrus and that, if they can’t fish, they won’t have much time before they start to starve to death. Levi assures them that they’ll kill the Lagiacrus first. To save time, the group decides to split up to get the equipment they need. Iona will go for the Tigrex bone (since Tigrexs are very dangerous in close combat), Ardin for the Rathalos eggs (since he’s a good thief) while Levi and Montan will try and capture the live Zinogre (as they’re the strongest and their task is most difficult).

 

All three arrive at their destination. Iona is in a rocky desert. Ardin is at a steep mountainside and Levi/Montan are in a dark forest undergrowth. Iona’s plan to kill the Tigrex she needs is to leave some poisoned meat outside its lair and wait for it to drop dead. Ardin intends to sneak into the Rathalos nest while it’s empty and steal the eggs. Levi and Montan plan to beat on the Zinogre until it’s tired before luring it into a pittrap and tranquilising it. However, the latter two are surprised to find Mala has snuck along with them in the hope of joining in with a hunt. Levi wants him to return home but, surprise surprise, this is exactly when the Zinogre turns up. Meanwhile, Iona and Ardin’s plans also quickly go wrong. While watching the Tigrex approaching the meat, Iona fails to spot a Bhanabra sneaking up on her. It drenches her with monster-attracting juice which, naturally attracts the Tigrex. Meanwhile, the Rathalos eggs turn out to be a lot bigger and heavier than Ardin expected and, while he’s trying to waddle his way out of there, a Rathalos returns and looks understandably pissed about Ardin’s egg thievery.

 

All three groups struggle against their respective monsters. The Tigrex is too fast, maneuverable and able to smash through anything in its way, meaning Iona has no chance to stop and line a shot up at it. In addition, its sense of smell is too good for Iona to lose it through hiding. Instead, she is forced to hide in an old Monster Hunter lookout inside a rock, filled with large barrel bombs, but the Tigrex is getting close to breaking in. The Rathalos spends all its time in the air and out of range of Ardin’s attacks, only swooping down to shoot a fireball or swipe at him with its claws. Meanwhile, Levi and Montan are unable to fight the Zinogre freely since they have to defend Mala from it. Montan shouts to Levi to get Mala to safety while he distracts the beast. Levi does so and loudly scolds Mala for coming along. Mala says that he just wanted to help save his village and can’t stand feeling helpless. This statement rings a bell with Levi who has quick flashbacks to his past. Meanwhile, back with the Zinogre, Montan has his lance and shield ripped away, but instead starts beating the Zinogre with his bare hands. However, using the lightning-charged Fulgurbugs, Zinogre is able to electrify its own mane and manages to badly injure Montan. Luckily Levi returns just in time to save him. However, the electrified Zinogre causes him a lot of problems as well. Mala has also returned (since Levi didn’t have time to save him) and notices what he thinks is a flash bomb in Levi’s discarded bag. He picks it up and, shouting a warning, throws it. (Levi: “Wait, that’s not a-!“) It turns out to be a sonic bomb which lets out an earshattering bang, stunning Mala but also shocking the Zinogre out of its electrified mode.

 

Back with Iona, the Tigrex has nearly broken into the lookout. However, when it does, it sees the lookout empty except for the barrel bombs and Iona’s discarded jacket (covered in Bhanabra juice). We see Iona crawled out through a back exit and she snipes the barrels in the lookout, blowing it and the Tigrex to kingdom come. Back with Ardin, the Rathalos has him cornered at the edge of a cliff and is about to swoop down to finish him. However, at the last second, Ardin lobs up a flash bomb, blinding the Rathalos mid-dive and causing it to crash and tumble helplessly off the cliff (nearly knocking Ardin off with it). Back against the Zinogre, Levi is finally able to hit the Zinogre and begins whaling on it. The injured Montan shouts to Mala to grab something from Levi’s bag. While still slightly stunned from the sonic bomb, Mala does so and picks up a device designed to quickly create a pitfall trap. He tosses it to Montan who activates it just in time for Levi to throw the Zinogre into it and tranq the beast.

 

All of the hunters return back to the village with their respective spoils (Ardin: “Hey, how come these Tigrex bones are so burnt?” Iona: *shifty look*). However, Montan was badly wounded in his fight with the Zinogre and isn’t going to be able to fight the Lagiacrus. Mala naturally feels guilty about this since it was largely his fault for tagging along. He runs off to his hideout, a small dilapidated building in the forest. However, Levi shows up to comfort him. Levi says he understands why Mala so desperately wanted to come along and help and how bad it is to feel helpless against such monsters. He also reveals that his village was destroyed by monsters when he was younger and he lost his entire family. However, he promises Mala that he won’t let the same happen to Moga Village. Mala is cheered up by this and leaves to go help with preparations. Outside Levi runs into Jocasta who thanks him for cheering up Mala. Levi asks about the dilapidated building, noting that it seems to be a different design to the rest of the houses in Moga Village. Jocasta reveals that it’s part of an ancient civilisation that used to live here. Apparently there was a grand city where Moga Village once was but it was flooded and destroyed by an Elder Dragon-ranked monster (the strongest ranking possible). Nobody knows where the wreckage is now though. Levi puzzles over this as the two head back to village. After they’ve gone, the earthquakes start up once more and the hideout crumples to the ground.

 

Back at the village, the group have finished their preparations. They now have a set of brand new boats with Tigrex bone-tipped ballista capable of punching through a Lagiacrus’s scales. They’ve also set up the caged and muzzled Zinogre at the shoreline. The intention is to lure the Lagiacrus to shore with fish. There Levi, Ardin and Iona will engage it in battle, using the Fulgurbugs to destabilize its electric attacks while the villagers, directed by Montan, shoot it from a distance with the ballista. Mala wants to help fight the Lagiacrus, but Jocasta naturally shoots down the idea. However, Levi says he does have a job for Mala. Remembering the giant tunnel he spotted while scouting, he asks Mala to go and investigate it, giving him an underwater breathing device. Mala excitedly agrees and runs off to do so. Levi admits to Jocasta that it was mainly to get him out of the way, but that there does seem something odd about that tunnel. One of the villagers arrives to report the Lagiacrus’s paint trail has been spotted nearby and the group prepare for battle. Meanwhile, Mala has swum into the cave and found something strange…

 

The group is successful in initially luring the Lagiacrus onto shore to fight it. And indeed, at first, things seem to be going well. The Fulgurbugs are successful in disrupting the Lagiacrus’s attacks while the ballista are able to do it damage. In addition, with Ardin throwing flash/sonic bombs, Iona shooting it in the face with smoke rounds and Levi slashing at its belly, it is unable to break away and attack the ships. However, things start to go wrong when one poorly deflected ballista bolt smashes into the Zinogre’s cage, allowing it to escape. With no more Fulgurbugs, the Lagiacrus is able to use its electric attacks to shock Levi, Ardin and Iona. However, Levi has just enough strength to grab onto the Lagiacrus’s back as it swims away. At first, the Lagiacrus goes for the boats, but a few ballista shots scare it off and it begins swimming away. Montan shouts that they can’t let it get away to lick its wounds, otherwise it’ll be far wiser and more formidable next time. As the Lagiacrus is swimming away along the coast, Levi notices Mala standing on the coast, signalling to the tunnel before diving. Guessing Mala wants him to bring the Lagiacrus there, Levi grabs onto its head and begins struggling with it, directing it into the tunnel. Inside, he finds a huge underwater city, the lost one Jocasta mentioned. He also sees Mala at some sort of strange ballista-esque device. Mala signals for him to swim away from the Lagiacrus, which he does. However, naturally, the Lagiacrus chases after him. Just before it’s about to eat Levi, Mala activates the device which shoots a net and rope out, successfully trapping the Lagiacrus.

 

Levi and Mala surface outside the cave and signal to the ships to come pick them up. Levi congratulates Mala and asks how he found the device that trapped the Lagiacrus. Mala explains that there’s all sort of powerful anti-monster weaponry in the abandoned city. Suddenly, they feel another earthquake hit, but Levi notes that there’s something strange about it. He dives back underwater and into the cave. In there, he sees the Lagiacrus in its net acting absolutely terrified about something. Even more earthquakes start. And Levi notices something moving in the distance. Then, this swims towards him. The creature is so enormous that it dwarfs even the Lagiacrus. It barely notices Levi and instead swims to the cave wall and begins banging its horns against it, causing the earth to shake. This later earthquakes allows the Lagiacrus to break free from its net and swim towards the entrance. However, the huge creatures notices it and eats the Lagiacrus in one bite before swimming out, terrifying the people on the ships outside.

 

Back at the village and everyone has gathered to discuss the creature they just saw. Iona has looked it up in the Monster Hunter manuals and identifies it as a Ceadeus, an Elder Dragon-ranked monster. They’ve sent word to the Monster Hunter Association who have written back telling them it’s too dangerous to fight and that the village must be evacuated before the Ceadeus can destroy it. The villagers, naturally, are very unhappy about this. However, with some prompting from Mala, Levi decides to stay behind and help fight the Ceadeus with the villagers. The rest of his team also agree to stick with him as teammates. However, that doesn’t answer how they can fight the Ceadeus. It’s so large that even the Tigrex bone-tipped ballista are unlikely to hurt it. Jocasta reminds them that they do have one advantage. The ancient anti-monster weaponry in the sunken city. Thus the hunters and village begin a desperate montage to restore the city’s defences before the Ceadeus can return. They manage to succeed in rebuilding most of the weaponry, most powerful of all being the Dragonator, a giant, powerful lance that can be shot out. However, due to the massive strain on the sea-encrusted mechanisms, it can only be used once.

 

The Ceadeus is spotted approaching once more and the villagers retreat to leave the hunters (and Mala who stayed behind) to combat the beast. As suspected, the Ceadeus is insanely powerful, not even noticing the shots from Iona’s rifle. However, when Levi starts using the specialised ballista and hits it near the face, he gets its attention. The hunters begin bombarding it with the city’s weaponry, using every last trick to try and hurt it, from Ardin using Bhanabra juice to lure a horde of Ludroth and Royal Ludroth into attacking it, to Iona luring it to a building filled with barrel bombs and detonating them, to Montan shooting the roof the cave and dropping rocks on it. However, the Ceadus is able to weather all of these attacks and begins smashing up the city and weaponry. Ardin and Iona are both injured and Montan is forced to swim them out of there. Meanwhile, the Ceadeus chases Levi and Mala through the city, smashing everything in its way. Soon the only weaponry still available to the two is the Dragonator. Mala is willing to activate it and just hope to get lucky with a fatal shot. However, looking back at the Ceadeus, Levi notices something. One of its horns is starting to overgrow its eye. Suspecting that the reason it was slamming its head against the wall was to stop this, Levi comes up with a plan. He swims to the Ceadeus and manages to drag/lure its face down to the Dragonator. He then signals Mala to activate the Dragonator, ignoring the risk to himself. Mala does so and it smashes into the Ceadeus’s horns, breaking the troublesome one off. This both solves the Ceadeus’s problem and absolutely terrifies it, leading it to run away to presumably never return. Levi and Mala surface to the cheers of all the townsfolk.

 

A few weeks later and the hunters are packing up to leave, much to everyone’s sadness. The Monster Hunter Association have already visited the village and checked on Ceadeus and, while annoyed the team ignored their orders, can’t really argue with the results. However, now they’re finished helping deal with any stray monsters displaced by the Ceadeus, the team is being called away to hunt other dangerous monsters in areas which need help. As a gift, the villagers present the hunters with new weapons forged from the severed Ceadeus horn, much stronger than their current weapons. Mala is sad to see Levi leave, but Levi gives him his old greatsword and tells him that they’ll see each other again when Mala grown up and becomes a Monster Hunter. This cheers Mala up immediately. (Ardin: “You don’t think that sword’s a bit big for him?” Levi: *while Mala struggles in background* “Eh. He’ll grow into it.”) The hunters set off into the wilderness and towards their next expedition. On the way there, they visit a nearby river and find the Zinogre they’d previously captured, drinking from it. The Zinogre freaks out at the sight of them and prepares to attack. Levi mutters “Here we go again.” and the group draw their weapons.

 

END

 

Theaters: 3892
MPAA Rating: PG13
Budget: $180m

Edited November 11, 2015 by rukaio101

[Alpha]

I'm moving Attack of the Movies back to May 15th. Also, this franchise is going to continue because hey, the first broke even.

 

The Throne of Fire

"The second installment of the Kane Chronicles."

 

Director: Neil Burger

Composer: Junkie XL, John Williams (additional music)

Genre: Fantasy Adventure

Date: June 26th

Studio: Alpha Pictures

Format: Live-action, 2D and 3D

Budget: $135 million

Theaters: 3,789

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for fantasy action violence and some language

Running Time: 135 minutes

Language: English, Egyptian (only in small sections)

 

Starring:

Jaden Smith as Carter Kane

Joey King as Sadie Kane
Dakota Goyo as Walt Stone

Willow Shields as Jaz Anderson

Zendaya as Zia Rashid

Jean Dujardin as Desjardins
Oleg Taktarov as Vladimir Menshikov

Peter Dinklage as Bes

Matthew Fox as Amos Kane

Benedict Cumberbatch as Apophis (voice)

Rodger Bumpass as Ra

Rose Byrne as Bast

Eric Bana as Khonsu

Edie McClurg as Tawaret (voice)

Jaclyn Smith as Catherine Faust / Nekhbet

Bruce Dern as Mr. Faust / Babi

Peyton List as Emma

Amandla Stenberg as Liz

Michael Jai White as Horus

Jeff Bridges as Set

 

Plot Summary: The second installment in the Kane Chronicles. Carter Kane, along with his sister and their trainees, must awaken the Ra, the Sun God in five days to stop the god of chaos Apophis from destroying the world.

 

Plot: 

Carter, Sadie and their new proteges Jaz and Walt are heading toward the Brooklyn Museum to "borrow" an ancient artifact. They need to find the three sections of book of Ra so they can revive the sun god Ra to stop Apophis, the god of Chaos, from rising and destroying the world. Sadie finds the section from the book of Ra in a statue of the god Khnum, but when Sadie picks up the scroll, it lights up on fire and activates every reservoir of magic spells including an Egyptian griffin. As Carter and Sadie distract the griffin, Walt opens a window using an Egyptian spell so they can escape, but accidentally activates one of the museums magic spells and releases the “seven arrows of Sekhmet”. These plague spirits rage out of control and Jaz decides to trap the goddess’ power and banish the spirits back into the Duat, despite her low magical energy, and as a result she is left in a coma. Before she goes in a coma she gives Sadie a wax statue to heal Carter in case he gets hurt. Before the spirits goes back in the Duat, one of the spirits is possessed by Apophis and slows down time to tell Carter to stop his quest or Zia Rashid will die where she is entombed, and shortly afterwards, Carter manages to tame the griffin because Carter was a former host of Horus who the griffin serves, so the griffin helps them escape from the museum.

 

When Carter, Sadie, Walt, and Jaz arrive back at the Brooklyn House, Sadie goes to her room so she can get some rest. Sadie falls asleep and her ba (soul) escapes her body and takes her to the Hall of Ages, in the House of Life. While in there, she sees a suspicious magician, Vladimir Menshikov, discuss with Desjardins about attacking the Brooklyn House. Desjardins agrees to attack the Brooklyn House because he wants to put Carter and Sadie Kane into exile for following the path of the gods which has been forbidden. After Sadie gets up, she tells her Uncle Amos about the situation and Uncle Amos tells her to come to the veranda in 20 minutes while he gathers up the twenty-first Nome. After everyone is gathered at the Veranda, Sadie tells everyone what she saw in her dream and Amos tells everyone to prepare. However, it is Sadie’s 13th birthday and she wants to go to visit her old home and friends back in London, but when she goes inside her old home she hears a voice that doesn't sound human.

 

On the night Carter came back from the Brooklyn museum, Horus, the god of war, shows Carter that Apophis’ prison only has a few scarab shells and still have enough strength to keep Apophis locked up, but the prison will soon be weakened, enough for Apophis to break free on the day of the equinox. On the next day, while Carter is teaching magic to some younger magicians, including Walt, a statue of Ra turns into a three-headed winged snake made of scarab shells that have the voice of Apophis. Carter tells his trainees to attack the monster and when Walt touches the monster, he somehow turns it to dust. Carter goes to his room to get his mind off of what had just happened in the training room by trying to see where Zia Rashid was in a scrying bowl. While he is doing this, Walt comes into his room to discuss how Walt had turned the statue of Ra to dust. While they are talking, Carter looks into his scrying bowl and sees an image of their grandparent's front door was broken to pieces and tells Walt that they need to go to London.

 

Sadie finds out that her grandparents have been forced to host Nekhbet, the vulture goddess, and Babi, the baboon god. The two gods chase and try to hunt down Sadie and her friends, Liz and Emma. While Sadie and her friends are running for their lives, Sadie has a short conversation with Anubis who gives her a netjeri knife, a knife for opening of the mouth ceremony, and tells her that the second part of the Book of Ra is in Vladimir’s palace in Russia. Sadie and her friends manage to escape on a train to buy some time. When they get off the train, Sadie manages to hold off the two gods for a few minutes. Then Sadie and her friends go to find a god named Bes, the dwarf god, at Waterloo Bridge. Bes and Sadie manage to fight off the two gods and Carter and Walt show up shortly after. Bes drives around London to find an Egyptian artifact that they can use as a portal to go to Russia. When Bes opens the portal he insists for Walt to stay behind for reasons that Sadie and Carter do not know. Bes drives the limo through the portal and takes them to Vladimir’s palace.

 

When Carter and Sadie get inside Vladimir’s palace they find that the second part of the book of Ra is in Vladimir’s desk. While they are trying to get the scroll, they find out that Vladimir is working for Apophis and helping him escape his prison. They get the scroll from the desk but are attacked by Menshikov’s two-headed snake, tjesu heru. Sadie and Carter are chased by the snake outside of the palace. Sadie manages to destroy the snake but not before it bites Carter. Then they meet Bes at a bridge where Set tells the last scroll is in Bahariya and the location of Zia in exchange for his secret name back. Sadie gives back Set his name and Bes, Carter, and Sadie use an underwater portal to escape Vladimir’s pursuers who were trying to catch them. When Sadie wakes up after fainting from using the underwater portal, she manages to save Carter by learning his secret name and using the amulet Jaz gave to her. Then Sadie tells Carter that Zia’s tomb is in a place called Makan al-Ramal al-Hamrah (The Red Sands). Sadie calls upon Walt and they make a plan that Walt and Sadie will go find the last scroll and Bes and Carter will go find Zia.

 

Carter and Bes ask some men to take them to The Place of The Red Sands. When they get there, they are attacked by water demons. Carter and Bes defeat the demons and because the river is gone they can now see a tomb that has an entrance and has the name Zia carved in hieroglyphics. When Carter goes into the temple he finds Zia Rashid holding the flail and crook of Ra. When Zia awakes she collapses on the ground because she was being used as a host by the goddess, Nepthys. Soon Menshikov and Michel Desjardins arrive and Carter uses the weapons of Ra to defeat Menshikov, but Menshikov attempts to put a curse on him while Bes is trapped in a cage. While Sadie and Walt are walking in the desert, Walt tells Sadie that he has a curse that will cause him to die at a young age. While they are talking, a cat that has the voice of Bast, the cat goddess and a friend of Sadie, appears in front of them and tells them that Apophis is gathering powerful minions to help him break free on the day Ra is awaken. Later that day, Carter falls asleep on a bus and his ba takes him to the hall of ages. Carter sees Menshikov talking to Desjardins using an army to attack the Brooklyn House, but Desjardins seems unsure about this for the first time but agrees to do it. When Carter gets up he tells everyone what he saw. They make a plan that Sadie and Carter will go and find Ra in the Duat and Walt and Zia will defend the Brooklyn House. When they enter the Duat they need to sail through the 12 houses, each representing an hour of the night, to fully reawaken Ra.

 

Sadie and Carter sail through the first three houses and when they reach the Fourth House, they find Khum, the first aspect of Ra. They need to read his secret name to pass and they succeed by using the Book of Ra. Then they enter the fourth house, the House of Rest, where they find Bes who tells them that they need to find the second aspect of Ra who is living in “Sunny Acres Assisted-Living Community.” When Carter, Sadie, and Bes enter the fourth house and enter the “Sunny Acres Assisted-Living Community,” they meet the hippo goddess, Tawaret, who helps them find the second aspect of Ra. After four hours of searching, they eventually find the second aspect of Ra who is old and weak and Sadie revives him by using the netjeri knife but, he still looks weak, senile, and acts like a madman (throwing ice cream bananas into the air, and talking about weasels and zebras). Although they have found the second aspect of Ra, they are already too late because the Eighth House can only be entered at 8’O clock. Carter, Sadie, and Bes travel to the Seventh House to find Khonsu, the moon god who can add more time into the night, but they have to gamble for it in a game called senet. If they lose a round, their identity (Ren) will be gone along with their memories and they have to win three out of four games. They win the first, third, and fourth rounds, but lose the second, causing Bes to lose his identity. Then Sadie, Carter, and Ra travel in the boat towards the Twelfth House where Vladimir Menshikov, who is possessed by Apophis, is waiting for them.

 

While Sadie and Carter are fighting Vladimir, Desjardins suddenly appears behind Carter and Sadie who fights with them to their surprise. Sadie quickly reads the spell of Ra’s third aspect, Khepri, from the book of Ra and a golden scarab appears in Sadie’s hands. However, this releases Apophis from his prison, but Desjardins quickly banishes Apophis and dies from using too much magic. Before Desjardins dies, he warns them that Apophis will return soon. When Sadie and Carter return the Brooklyn House, they were able to help and win against the enemies because they have the power of Ra with them. Because the power of Ra represented new life, it helped Jaz wake up from her coma. Soon after, Ra’s boat goes into the sky with Bast and she tells Carter and Sadie that she is going into the heavens to meet with the other gods. When Bast comes back from the heavens she brings Carter and Sadie to the heavens so they can go on the same journey Ra did with the gods a thousand years ago. As they go on their journey they go see Bes who has no memories and doesn’t know who he is. Although Sadie and Carter don’t know how to heal Bes, they promise that they will. The new chief lector of the house of life is Amos because he is the second most powerful magician next to Desjardins. He left the Brooklyn house with Zia to manage the house of life.

 

Previous Film Grosses:

The Red Pyramid ($44.9 million OW/$129.4 million DOM/$397 million WW)

Edited August 24, 2015 by Alpha

[department store basement]

The Parade

 

Director: Nicholas Stoller

Written by: Nicholas Stoller

Studio: Anniversary Films
Genre: Comedy
Release Date: July 3rd
MPAA Rating: R for foul language and sexual references
Theaters: 3,855
Budget: $50 million (with another $50 million in marketing)
Length: 106 minutes

Composer: Howard Shore

Tagline: Float on.

 

Cast:
Matt Damon (Grand Marshal Jack Murdock)

Catherine O'Hara (Jessie George)

Allison Janney (Roberta Rebennack)

Noomi Rapace (Ronja Rebennack)

Andrea Riseborough (Ruby Rebennack)

Ray Liotta (Mayor)
Carla Gallo (Boardmember)

 

Synopsis: The new town of Media Village, California is holding a parade on Independence Day to celebrate its formation. Famous comedian Jessie George (O'Hara) has been enlisted to perform, and in her announcement divulges her plans to cuss on live television. This angers the Rebennack family, of whom Roberta (Janney) will be the host of the parade for nearby TV station KBJS. Can Grand Marshal Jack Murdock (Damon) please both sides? How many people will even show up?

 

Plot: (R-rated, so be careful!)

On the evening of July 1, 2019, a large group of people, including Forgetting Sarah Marshall's Darald and Wyoma Braden and people wearing shirts of Neighbors's Delta Psi Beta frat, are waiting for the gates to open for a new town called Media Village in California. One of the town's boardmembers (Carla Gallo) hosts an opening ceremony. She introduces the town mayor (Ray Liotta), who makes a speech about how much he wanted to found a place centered around the entertainment industry while avoiding the stalkers typically associated with Hollywood. The audience claps. The boardmember takes back the mic and announces that there will be a parade on Independence Day to celebrate the town's formation, which will be broadcast by local TV station KBJS (pronounced "K.B.J.'s"). The audience boos loudly. One audience member yells that he'd rather spend time with his family on Independence Day, which is greeted with applause. The boardmember says, "But...we have a very special guest appearing on the NBC float, Emmy-winning TV star and guru Jessie George!" The audience starts howling with approval.

 

A montage of clips of George (O'Hara) on TV is shown. These include sketch TV show Taboo at Midnight on the West Coast (a parody of Saturday Night Live and O'Hara's old show SCTV), of which she is the oldest cast member and usually plays a mother figure, and Forthright Female, a "self-help" show hugely popular with young men.

 

George appears on a projected screen. She gives a speech about why everyone should come to the parade. To appease the kids who just want to see fireworks on Independence Day, fireworks will come out of her float every minute; to please the adults who are too tired of seeing fireworks, she will use foul language on her float to keep the adults happy. "The kids won't even understand anything I say!" she says. As the audience claps for her we see Roberta Rebennack (Janney) say "What could possibly go wrong?"

 

The next day we are at the KBJS headquarters. Roberta, the main reporter at the station, greets her two daughters-in-law, the Swedish Ronja (Rapace) and the British Ruby (Riseborough), who also work there. She explains to them that George, despite her popularity and her extremely high approval rating, is a bad influence on local children, and worries that people may not move to Media Village due to her. They agree to talk with the parade's Grand Marshal, Jack Murdock (Damon), about their concerns.

 

The trio meet with Murdock, who claims to only have enlisted her because she is the biggest name who wanted to participate due to the town's anti-Hollywood bias.

 

Ruby: What about Jason Segel?

Murdock: Sorry, he couldn't come. He offered a balloon instead. Buuuut we couldn't use it.

[Cut to a picture of Segel riding a giant dildo balloon]

Ronja: But what makes Mrs. George better? She once said that calling someone "dictatorial" is a good thing!

[Cut to a clip of Forthright Female that parodies the backlash against "Ban Bossy"]

George: The word "dictatorial" means that you're just exuding great power towards another person. That's great if you want to have good leadership.

[Cut back to Murdock's office]

Murdock: Well, this parade doesn't have any political agenda so that isn't a problem.

[Looks at timer, which has somehow lasted 180 minutes]

Murdock: I'm sorry, I think our time is up.

 

After the Rebennacks walk out of the office, Murdock thinks to himself about the situation. Murdock, who worked on Hollywood's Christmas parade, knows just how much celebrities impact the parade's attendance. However, he doesn't want George's presence to impact television coverage. He thinks of an ingenious plan to drum up attention for the parade by writing a story for Media Village's first newspaper talking about how KBJS wants to censor George, while (using Roberta's name) writing a note to the paper of Hooker (where KBJS is based) about how George is a bad influence on the youth. This would pit the two towns against each other, causing more attention for the parade. Murdock carries out his plan and the next morning the two newspapers come out with the stories he wanted.

 

At noon on July 3rd, the parade has its first rehearsal. Floats from Nissan, Oprah, So You Think You Can Dance, the NFL's San Francisco 49ers, and others are seen. George had arrived this morning, but unlike her usual bubbly personality she is far too nervous to perform. Murdock halts the rehearsal and takes her aside. George explains that when she arrived at Hooker, she saw the newspaper they published, and after years of pandering to what the younger generation liked to think she is worried that they will grow up wrong. During their talk the Rebennacks appear, saying that they must go on with the rehearsal or else the show will end up horribly. George, seeing Roberta's name on the newspaper, blames her for making her sad. While the four women have an argument, Murdock runs away. When the Rebennacks start chasing him, he does parkour on top of the floats. His escape is briefly interrupted when he lands face-first into a wedding cake, but he manages to reach Hooker out of sight of the Rebennacks. The townspeople of Hooker notice Murdock completely covered in icing and constantly snap photos of him. KBJS catches him on live television and sends a reporter to interview him. Wanting away from the spotlight, Murdock reveals he is the one who wrote the anti-George post. Right afterwards, George interrupts the interview and tells him "Cake Man, you are my hero. Now I don't have to worry about my routine for tomorrow!"

 

With George's help through social media "Cake Man" becomes a viral phenomenon around the country, and on the night of Independence Day Media Village's parade has an attendance of 700,000. Instead of doing her normal raunchy act, George sings a song she wrote about "Cake Man" the previous night, with an icing-covered facsimile of Murdock next to her, and is hugely praised by KBJS. In the closing speech, Murdock remarks that he is happy his wish for Media Village to gain publicity came true, though certainly not in the way he wanted. Roberta emphatically says, "For once, people forgot about the fireworks."

 

Due to the parade's popularity, the mayor receives a flood of letters asking to expand the town for new housing. Angered, he makes an announcement that Media Village will be demolished because it is now attracting the same kind of people he wanted to escape when he founded the town.

 

One year later, Murdock has turned to merchandising, selling all sorts of "Cake Man" memorabilia. He is now married to Ronja, who had divorced her previous husband over her support of George, and the two live in a very nice house with Roberta and Ruby, who are now anchors at NBC at George' suggestion. Speaking of George, her popularity skyrockets, and her first comedy tour after leaving Taboo becomes the hottest in the country.

 

While having sex with Ronja, Murdock is given a gold letter by Ruby. It asks him to become Grand Marshal of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. He accepts without question. The credits roll, set to "Float On" by Modest Mouse, followed by "Cake Man" sung by O'Hara.

Edited September 15, 2015 by department store basement