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Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

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Decided to go & listen to my brain a bit & give it a B rating instead of A-

:D (massive fan of the franchise so I'm not 100% unbiased)

 

SO it was much better than OST & I will be sad if its the end of the franchise

Tho it will be a beautiful end.:wub:

 

SO negatives first.

 

1. Wasnt really coherent. Felt uneven, really disjointed line of sequences. Like 'get everyone together for that purpose'.

2. I wasnt really emotionally attached to new characters. Some of them really underdeveloped (Shansa witch). Some of them felt like bland copies of original characters from the trilogy, main characters dont have chemistry (obvious Henry/Carina vs Will/Lizzy), David Wenham (new Beckett), Bardem (new Jones)

3. British fleet seemed more useless & toothless (lol not sure this is the english word for that)))))  than in the trilogy. Their end was as anticlimatic as their storyline...

4. No really memorable quotes from Jack/Barbossa etc that I used to like & quote in real life back then

5. No interesting dynamic/chemistry from Depp with new leads. (Yeah maybe I should've include this in #2.) Again better not to draw comparisons with the trilogy b/c in tone it doesnt match it but I still wanted to be attached to their newly formed team but I really wasn't (til the climax of the movie)

6. Too much focus on women being lesser beings then men. Like hammering over the head isnt necessary. WE GET IT Carina is super smart & cool!:D

7. Gross humor. Wedding really?:censored: I dont want Transformers-like humor in a movie like POTC...

8. Carina/Barbossa stuff on the ship felt cheesy... but the payoff really made me forget about that

9. Not really a big flaw but Salazar's crew were too scary to me :shy:

10 The biggest flaw is lack of original characters (Will, Liz, crew, parrot))))

 

 

 

Pros finally that outweighted the cons

 

1. Much better than OST (yep everything is seen in comparison to that blah cold & soulless film:ph34r:)

2. Superb effects (for my untrained amateur eyes!). Some interesting camera angles throughout.

3. Underwater battle! I was holding my breath the whole time.:excited:

4. Acting from Depp, Bardem & Rush as usual top notch. they do best with wat they are given.

5. Soundtrack wasnt anything new but I really like the use of old themes esp Turners' when Henry was onscreen :wub: will def check out when its released. I probably missed something. Maybe there WAS some new themes.

6. Safe stealing & hangman action sequences were really reminiscent of Gore which was exciting & filled with humour

7. Questionable positive but the new leads while not perfect but they were not annoying (GOTG come to mind when some characters seemed try-hard charismatic)

8. Sharks sequence was again a scene I held my breath.

9. Generally this has a sense of adventure. & period/fatasy adventures I like more than superhero franchises/schi-fi so I'm sad that this probs wont have a next movie. (Im not really a Potter fan & that seems to be the only big scale fantasy franshise that is going:mellow:)  

10. Much more sea sequences than OST

11. Some of the original characters really brought more life to the movie like Murtog & Mallroy with their endless bantering, Marty, Gibbs. Seeing them all true to their characters warmed my heart

12. All in all funny. Not only gross humour as I feared reading some of the reviews. Esp with that Jack/Henry jail talk about his parents :D

13. Sir Paul has a memorable scene

14 The whole ending COTBP style made me super giddy & I left the theater in high spirits. Really heratfelt & shed a tear:wub: That was exactly the feeling I had in 2003 having seen Pirates1 for the first time...

15. Barbossa's fate & the way it was filmed. Shed a tear. too bad the build up with Carina wasn't as impressive.

16. After credits scene (should have been midcredits cause only 10% of the people saw it) Yeah I'm silly Orlando looked super pretty here so bonus points for that:P

17. No matter how uneven it felt the film ends on a high note & hopefully some viewers will be back for multiple viewings or just leave the theater more satisfied.

18. Really worthy seeing on a big screen.

 

All in all I feel its the end judging by how many people are trashing it but Im more than excited to another couple of films

But only with 1 condition

Gore come back!!! He really was born to film these movies. 

 

 

 

Edited by Leyla
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Like described in the post above. They took this to ff level stupid or Tf lv stupid, you can chose. It's so gooffy, cartoony. The acting wasn't that good at all, they just went overboard and i coudn't take the movie serieus for one moment. I love all 4 pirates before, one of my fav series of all time. But they realy dropped the bal on this one. And yeah some jokes landed but like 70% was garbadge, jack sparrow was a tottal addict in this movie to the point that he could have been anny drunk pirate. New Characters were under developed and the plot was a mess, the last part with barbosa was cheesy but the part of the movie. I hope this movie doen't flop, because i want a 6th movie so they can let me forget this one. But i am very sceptical about the leggs. 

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To start: The original is one of my personal favorite movies of all time and is a modern day classic. If this series continues, no film is ever going to top that lightning in a bottle. Onto the sequels: I've learned to appreciate Dead Men's Chest as time has gone on with repeat viewings. It may start slow but has a great deal of the originals charm. At World's End is when things get messy for me (and in turn hurts DMC) but is still not without the best score of the series and some exciting set pieces. (I rewatched all 3 this past week to get ready for this). I strongly dislike OST and can't remember much about it.
 

So as a fan, I was really worried about this movie after seeing the reviews. I couldn't believe that it was as bad as Suicide Squad. I mean if I went by RT, this has a lower average rating then that. And like that, this was one of my most anticipated films of the year.
 

I'm glad history didn't repeat itself because I strongly disagree with the majority of critics this time. Dead Men Tell No Tales is far from perfect, has a lot of stupid moments that make no sense but is still a lot of fun. It still has good acting. It still has exciting set pieces that are unlike the other films in the series (especially the finale). It still has great effects. It still has wondrous locations. 
 

I keep reading that everyone thinks this movies plot is: "Jack Sparrow pissed someone else off so now another bad guy is after him" when it's not. The main plot of this film revolves around Will Turners son trying to reunite his father with Elizabeth and remove the dutch mans curse so he can come home. The movie starts and ends with that. 
 

I also keep reading how Jack Sparrow is different in this when he was written to be that way. He was supposed to be out of his prime and it made sense for the progression of his character to go this way.
 

But yeah, there are a lot of moments in this where I went "Huh? Why did that happen?" but I'm willing to give this series a lot of leeway with stuff like that because it started off with "an island that can only be found if you know where it is". And those moments were not nearly as frequent as in AWE (which I've probably seen at least 6 times and still have no idea what's going on in the middle). POTC has always been mystical and goofy...so I don't know why anyone thought that would suddenly change now. 

And if you are going to complain about stupid stuff like the physics of the opening house set piece....really? This series has never obeyed those laws. Main characters can be rescued from the dead...like c'mon.
 

I was really happy to hear my favorite piece of score from the series return (and pretty early!) and the ending with it is powerful for anyone who has a connection to those characters.

I was never expecting this to top my favorite films in the series. I just wanted a fun ride and in my opinion, this delivered. Unlike OST, I would gladly watch it again.
 

B

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It's a decent blockbuster. The first act is VERY strong with great action and humor. The exposition and setup reminded me a lot of Black Pearl, which is a good thing. The middle section of the movie drags a bit, and removing the flashback of Young Jack vs Salazar would have made the movie's pacing much stronger by cutting it about 10 minutes. This sort of crosses over into the third act, but it ends on a great note. Barbossa's sacrifice caught me off guard; at the beginning of the film, he was rather unnecessary, but his arc might be one of my favorite things about the film. The direction/cinematography/etc are all very solid and better than many blockbusters out there today. So yeah, this is a return to form for the series. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it's fun. 7/10 | B-

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Unless Orlando Bloom AND Keira Knigthley come back for the sixth film, count me out. The film was okay and even fun at a few points. But mostly it felt long. It's kinda funny because POTC is kinda stuck in a quagmire: people are getting sick of Jack Sparrow but without him, there's really no way the new leads could make the film occasionally fun. He was annoying at times but also the best part of the film. Javier Bordem was a serviceable villain although I do wonder why he felt the need to destroy non-pirate ships where he had been shipwrecked...or how he had actually been cursed or why. For that matter, Jack Sparrow had given up the compass in earlier films....why didn't it set him free earlier? Ah, but this stupidity is not the film's real problems.

 

I guess the film is kind of a soft reboot and you could see that in the way that it mirrors the original film. Oh, sure, this time it's the girl who has a pirate parent that she doesn't know about and assumes her dad was a good person without knowing him. Kaya Scodelario is no Keira Knightley so it's a good thing her character was different. While the whole "smart women are witches" joke ran dry about halfway through the movie, I liked her far more than I liked Brenton Thwaites as Henry Turner. I don't want to say that Brenton is no Orlando Bloom since Orlando Bloom isn't a very...charismatic...actor to begin with, but man Will was more interesting than Henry. Like other than paying Jack's crew to rescue Jack and Carina, he really did nothing of note in the movie, he had no charisma, and he's kinda just a bland face. The kid who played him in the beginning did a far better job: I actually thought we might get a really good movie during that first scene.

 

But nah, we just get a serviceable movie.

 

C-

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So much to say (thank god I have a podcast so you don't get 20 page essays) but I'm only gonna say these two things.

 

1) FUCK THIS MOVIE

 

2) ok, seriously, Jack Sparrow watches Will kiss Elizabeth, He sees  Will's son with Barbossas Daughter and he reacts like a fucking ass hole. No show of joy or care or anything. What made the first 3 so great were the characters. They were selfish, they tried to kill each other, yet some how some way they were always there for each other. Thats what makes Pirates fun, and that moment in DMC when Jack returns to save them from the  Kraken is ruined here. The ending to the first one where he saves them, or the 3rd one where he sacrifices what he wants for Will's life. He didnt need to smile and cry like a drama or a comedy even flat approve, but you want that twisted mix of emotions where you cant really read him - He doesnt care, but you know he actually does, half smile, a witty line referring to Elizabeth missing out on Him or the seas idk something I means  " he's a Pirate and a good man" thats what made Jack Sparrow so great but he is no longer that, he's a stubborn boring, drunk dick past his prime. 

 

D+

Edited by Jay Hollywood
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1 minute ago, Jay Hollywood said:

So much to say (thank god I have a podcast so you don't get 20 page essays) but I'm only gonna say these two things.

 

1) FUCK THIS MOVIE

 

2) ok, seriously, Jack Sparrow watches Will kiss Elizabeth, He sees  Will's son with Barbossas Daughter and he reacts like a fucking ass hole. No show of joy or care or anything. What made the first 3 so great were the characters. They were selfish, they tried to kill each other, yet some how some way they were always there for each other. Thats what makes Pirates fun, and that moment in DMC when Jack returns to save them from the  Kraken is ruined here. The ending to the first one where he saves them, or the 3rd one where he sacrifices what he wants for Will's life. He didnt need to smile and cry like a drama or a comedy even flat approve, but you want that twisted mix of emotions where you cant really read him - He doesnt care, but you know he actually does, half smile, a witty line referring to Elizabeth missing out on Him or the seas idk something I means  " he's a Pirate, but he's a good man" thats what made Jack Sparrow so great but he is no longer that, he's a stubborn boring, drunk dick past his prime. 

 

D+

 

This is making me wish Jack would have just for shits and giggles tried to convince Henry that he's actually his dad. :lol:

 

but clearly you did not like this movie

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1 hour ago, Jay Hollywood said:

So much to say (thank god I have a podcast so you don't get 20 page essays) but I'm only gonna say these two things.

 

1) FUCK THIS MOVIE

 

2) ok, seriously, Jack Sparrow watches Will kiss Elizabeth, He sees  Will's son with Barbossas Daughter and he reacts like a fucking ass hole. No show of joy or care or anything. What made the first 3 so great were the characters. They were selfish, they tried to kill each other, yet some how some way they were always there for each other. Thats what makes Pirates fun, and that moment in DMC when Jack returns to save them from the  Kraken is ruined here. The ending to the first one where he saves them, or the 3rd one where he sacrifices what he wants for Will's life. He didnt need to smile and cry like a drama or a comedy even flat approve, but you want that twisted mix of emotions where you cant really read him - He doesnt care, but you know he actually does, half smile, a witty line referring to Elizabeth missing out on Him or the seas idk something I means  " he's a Pirate and a good man" thats what made Jack Sparrow so great but he is no longer that, he's a stubborn boring, drunk dick past his prime. 

 

D+


You must not remember the end of AWE very well. When Elizabeth tries to hug Jack he says "Once is plenty enough dear" and then she says "Thank You". He doesn't say much back (Pretty sure it's their final exchange from Pearl - "Jack it would have never worked out between us" - "Keep telling yourself that darling". He's the last person she approaches. The line he was referring to was due to her having to hold him to get off the sinking ship Will was on. 

I took that scene to show that he still cared because he was watching from far away but like always he has to keep up his image of "IDGAF" Jack so he says his "mushy stuff" line. If they didn't even include him in this scene then I would agree with you but they did. But yeah, I would have liked to see him actually be there with Henry and Carina but understand that's never been his character.

And he wasn't that much of a dick in this movie. In the scene where he threatens to throw Henry overboard to get information out of Carina, he tricks her because he has a boat waiting for him to fall into. He acted far worse in DMC when he actually sold Will out even if only temporarily to settle his dues with Davey Jones.

If you haven't watched those movies in awhile, go back and watch them. Yes he has moments and the whole "good man" storyline is a big part of Jack and Elizabeths arc in Dead Mens chest but she manipulates him with that at the end to handcuff him to the ship. That was the whole point of the first scene between them where she gets super close...she's like telling him that "no matter how vulnerable I make myself, I am going to prove to you that you are still a good man"...then she finds out he betrayed Will and is broken over it. Then further she thinks he's an even bigger coward for abandoning the ship and leaving them all to die until he comes back. That's why she fucks him over by letting the Kraken eat him. Jack even repeats the same "Pirate" line from their very first exchange in the original during this scene as he's smiling at her because he realized what she had become. This also went back to the line he tells Will in the original "The only rules that count, are what a man can do and what a man can't do."

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6 hours ago, Water Bottle said:

Unless Orlando Bloom AND Keira Knigthley come back for the sixth film, count me out. The film was okay and even fun at a few points. But mostly it felt long. It's kinda funny because POTC is kinda stuck in a quagmire: people are getting sick of Jack Sparrow but without him, there's really no way the new leads could make the film occasionally fun. He was annoying at times but also the best part of the film. Javier Bordem was a serviceable villain although I do wonder why he felt the need to destroy non-pirate ships where he had been shipwrecked...or how he had actually been cursed or why. For that matter, Jack Sparrow had given up the compass in earlier films....why didn't it set him free earlier? Ah, but this stupidity is not the film's real problems.

 

I guess the film is kind of a soft reboot and you could see that in the way that it mirrors the original film. Oh, sure, this time it's the girl who has a pirate parent that she doesn't know about and assumes her dad was a good person without knowing him. Kaya Scodelario is no Keira Knightley so it's a good thing her character was different. While the whole "smart women are witches" joke ran dry about halfway through the movie, I liked her far more than I liked Brenton Thwaites as Henry Turner. I don't want to say that Brenton is no Orlando Bloom since Orlando Bloom isn't a very...charismatic...actor to begin with, but man Will was more interesting than Henry. Like other than paying Jack's crew to rescue Jack and Carina, he really did nothing of note in the movie, he had no charisma, and he's kinda just a bland face. The kid who played him in the beginning did a far better job: I actually thought we might get a really good movie during that first scene.

 

But nah, we just get a serviceable movie.

 

C-

Echos my thoughts pretty well. The compass aspect of this film is up there with the dumbest narrative decisions I've seen this year.

 

Though I did find Jack Sparrow practically insufferable here. His drunken slurring being amplified is part of his character arc, but it often makes him incomprehensible. He also just sort of floats in and out of the movie with no sense of the ingenuity or courage of the past films, and is instead relegated to being a idiot who occasionally wields a sword. I could try to accept all this if it led to something, anything that felt at all like pathos. Instead, he just sort of lucks back into having a ship and the compass. It's a sad state of affairs when even On Stranger Tides offered a more fun Sparrow with a deeper look at the character.

 

I think I'm in the D range for Dead Men Tell No Tales. It seemed like the film had a lot of potential to be something interesting initially, but instead we got a film that poorly emulates things we've already seen in the series. Even the visual effects were shot and lit in a way that undermines them. 

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4 minutes ago, somebody85 said:


You must not remember the end of AWE very well. When Elizabeth tries to hug Jack he says "Once is plenty enough dear" and then she says "Thank You". He doesn't say much back. He's the last person she approaches. The line he was referring to was due to her having to hold him to get off the sinking ship Will was on. 

I took that scene to show that he still cared because he was watching from far away but like always he has to keep up his image of "IDGAF" Jack so he says the "All this mushy stuff" line. They wouldn't have cut to him watching what happened on land with that telescope to see what happened if he didn't care. 

Now I would have liked to see him actually be there but understand that's never been his character.

And he wasn't that much of a dick in this movie. In the scene where he threatens to throw Henry overboard to get information out of Carina, he tricks her because he has a boat waiting for him to fall into. He acted far worse in DMC when he actually sold Will out even if only temporarily to settle his dues with Davey Jones.

If you haven't watched those movies in awhile, go back and watch them. Yes he has moments and the whole "good man" storyline is a big part of Jack and Elizabeths arc in Dead Mens chest but she manipulates him with that at the end to handcuff him to the ship. That was the whole point of the first scene between them where she gets super close...she's like telling him that "no matter how vulnerable I make myself, I am going to prove to you that you are still a good man"...then she finds out he betrayed Will and is broken over it. That's why she fucks him over by letting the Kraken eat him. Jack even repeats the same "Pirate" line from their very first exchange in the original during this scene as he's smiling at her because he realized what she had become. This also went back to the line he tells Will in the original "The only rules that count, are what a man can do and what a man can't do."

 

Ive seen each one plenty of times and watched them all over the last few days and the commentaries after.  And I'm saying its in subtext, the directing, the cues, its all just off, he's not the same. He's gotten more cartoon like and much more over the top with age. The other ones treaded the line perfectly

 

 

You're DMC example is perfect. This version of Sparrow in 5 wouldn't have been slightly turned on and impressed with what She did. He would be loud and make some annoying comment and instead of calling her a pirate with approval he would be like saying it like a crazy man. 

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1 minute ago, Jay Hollywood said:

 

Ive seen each one plenty of times and watched them all over the last few days and the commentaries after.  And I'm saying its in subtext, the directing, the cues, its all just off, he's not the same. He's gotten more cartoon like and much more over the top with age. The other ones treaded the line perfectly

 

 

You're DMC example is perfect. This version of Sparrow in 5 wouldn't have been slightly turned on and impressed with what She did. He would be loud and make some annoying comment and instead of calling her a pirate with approval he would be like saying it like a crazy man. 


Right but it made sense for his character to be this way. He was written to but out of his prime like you already mentioned. His own crew abandoned him after he messed the opening heist up. They say his luck is gone and then he trades the compass and releases Salazar (and yes I agree that the rewriting of the compass part or anything involving it was stupid) to keep getting drunk.

He wasn't the same character anymore. It's 9 years later and the guys been through a lot. It seemed like this film was about him trying to find his luck again...but I agree that it wasn't done in the best manner. He's definitely not the same. He was far loopier and like I said earlier today, he reminded me of Han Solo in TFA. He acted more like a grandfather to the new kids more then anything. That's really what all his dialogue with Barbossa struck me as (was like "hey man, this is their show now and we're just along for the ride"). 

If the film didn't have a lot of dialogue mentioning this I would have a bigger problem with it but multiple characters like Henry bring up whats become of Jack. Right when he meets him, he's in disbelief and echoing all your same thoughts.

I agree though, that I think the film would have been stronger if we saw the old Jack return by the third act instead of constantly running away or begin to do a lot more clever things that showed he still had it but maybe the directors thought it would be too sudden to seem believable and let Depp do what he wanted with the character.

As far as the directing, I agree that there wasn't as much wonder as the original trilogy but the new island was really cool. The whole film looked the most Marvelish the franchise ever has.
 

Sorry you didn't like it.
 

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I think the most over the top he ever got was in AWE though with the multiple Jack stuff though (especially after he left Davey Jones locker). But yeah this character was a far cry from the person we saw for the most part in those first three movies. 

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Id like to add that Bloom gives an all-time Razzie worthy performance. The dude should be embarrassed. Ive never seen a human put less effort into anything. 

 

 

His best performance is probably DMC and AWE and now his lowest is here. 

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11 minutes ago, Jay Hollywood said:

Id like to add that Bloom gives an all-time Razzie worthy performance. The dude should be embarrassed. Ive never seen a human put less effort into anything. 

 

 

His best performance is probably DMC and AWE and now his lowest is here. 

 

I thought it would be good idea for next pirates to focus on Orlando/Keira. But if is just dialing in then that would be an awful idea. Dialed in Depp >>>>>>>>>>>>>> Dialed in Bloom.

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16 minutes ago, Jay Hollywood said:

Id like to add that Bloom gives an all-time Razzie worthy performance. The dude should be embarrassed. Ive never seen a human put less effort into anything. 

 

 

His best performance is probably DMC and AWE and now his lowest is here. 

 

 

I thought he is barely in it? How bad can he be ? Lol

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18 hours ago, John Marston said:

 

 

I thought he is barely in it? How bad can he be ? Lol


He is. Bloom has like maybe 10 lines but he did sound wooden...like I think he's been out of acting for awhile. It kind of reminded me of the Star Wars prequels...but luckily that scene doesn't last long.

The ending contains no dialogue between Will and Elizabeth because One Day is blaring over it. That shot of Jack on the boat saying "Monkey" is part of it too like I predicted before seeing it.

Edit: He does have dialogue with Henry though. I think he says something like "My Son. Look at you". He wasn't as bad here and kind of reminded me of Russelle Crowe lol. But once Elizabeth comes over the hill, it's just music.

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Was pretty bored the entire time. None of the dramatic moments felt earned and outside Karina, I'm not sure there's a single likable character. 

 

The ending was nice I guess, since I bought into the Will/Elizabeth thing from the first few. Lol @ Keira being Brenton Thwaites mom tho

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