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Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

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I forgot to include my "review" for this. I forgot I even saw it.

So yeah, this was....something? I have no idea how to even review it because at this point, there's no reason to even pay attention to the story since everyone's just going for the big summer set pieces. I couldn't tell you what the hell was going on for portions or how characters got where or why they were doing this or....it's like every time the plot became followable, the story would add something else and it would be like, wait....huh? Optimus Prime is largely absent for this entry and when he finally does show it's mainly for a third act that is completely overblown with CGI vomit. It wasn't enough to put these characters in an impossible situation Bay? You had to add multiple nukes and no gravity and Transformers shooting everywhere and a falling space platform...and ah, fuck trying to make sense of any of this shit lol. So yeah, I mean I was never bored but the set pieces weren't even as good as the majority in Age Of Extinction. Wahlberg carries the show and this entry contains the series best female protagonist (which isn't saying much). But is it a good movie? Hahaha no, it's a complete clusterfuck. Do you get what you turned it on for? Uh...I guess? Bay waits a whopping 10 seconds before blowing stuff up. No joke! Explosive fireballs fly right over the Paramount logo to kick off 150 looong minutes. - C-

Edited by somebody85
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Transformers: The Last Knight certainly has amusing moments. For one thing, why is Stanley Tucci playing a character completely (and explicitly) unrelated to his character in the last one? That's about the only bizarre aspect of this film that amuses rather than annoys. For example, why is Bay sexualizing a character portrayed by a minor who is stated to be 14-years-old? It's disgusting in every sense of the word. Furthermore, he has managed to find a way to make his trademark style even more indecipherable; he shoots this film with a ridiculously erratic aspect ratio, with nearly every other shot switching it up between 3-5 different ratios (I honestly couldn't keep track of them all). The story is utter nonsense and none of these characters are remotely likable. Transformers: The Last Knight has thankfully disappointed at the box office and will likely be the last one of this original series. It's a shame that audiences have allowed for this go on for so long. The joke lost its humor quite a bit ago, and now, it's just utterly annoying and insulting. Transformers: The Last Knight is a total landfill of a film, being borderline nonsensical in a thoroughly miserable sense. F

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46 minutes ago, Blankments said:

Transformers: The Last Knight certainly has amusing moments. For one thing, why is Stanley Tucci playing a character completely (and explicitly) unrelated to his character in the last one? That's about the only bizarre aspect of this film that amuses rather than annoys. For example, why is Bay sexualizing a character portrayed by a minor who is stated to be 14-years-old? It's disgusting in every sense of the word. Furthermore, he has managed to find a way to make his trademark style even more indecipherable; he shoots this film with a ridiculously erratic aspect ratio, with nearly every other shot switching it up between 3-5 different ratios (I honestly couldn't keep track of them all). The story is utter nonsense and none of these characters are remotely likable. Transformers: The Last Knight has thankfully disappointed at the box office and will likely be the last one of this original series. It's a shame that audiences have allowed for this go on for so long. The joke lost its humor quite a bit ago, and now, it's just utterly annoying and insulting. Transformers: The Last Knight is a total landfill of a film, being borderline nonsensical in a thoroughly miserable sense. F

 

Do you think its worse than ROTF?

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Ideologically repugnant, technically disastrous.

 

For Michael Bay, life has no value, only honor and bravery and determination have. Someone can only prove their worth by doing incredible fucking stupid, like confronting a Decepticon face-to-face or climbing on Evil Optimus to convincing of something, and in both scenarios, the people would have been killed instantly, but since they are brave in Bay's mind they're rewarded with infallibility. Michael Bay heroes will happily and promptly shoot the bad guys instead of running away or hide even if it's so incredibly obvious they are underpowered and won't make a dent on the enemy. Michael Bay must be like one of those people who shamed Mel Gibson for choosing to not waste his life in Weir's Gallipoli.

 

On the technical side, I won't even say the movie is pretty to look at cause the hyperactive editing just wouldn't stop for a minute and actually let me appreciate the damn thing.

 

One of the worst movies of all time.

Edited by Goffe
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