*All 21 players line up on the sidewalk facing the busy road and a city block’s worth of stores.*
SLAM!: This challenge, inspired by the sleeper hit Good Boys, tasks you with running across the street, navigating your way through the cars that are waiting at the stoplight, and searching the ten businesses for predictions!
StarWarsMemer: So it’s a high-stakes game of Konami’s Frogger? I’m down for that!
PanaMovie: (cocks an eyebrow) Seems like there’s one person who still cares about Konami after that Kojima debacle.
Kjtc: (to StarWarsMemer) …Who are you again?
StarWarsMemer: Oh! I’m MeowwoeM! I just go by a different title now!
chasmmi: That’s not confusing at all…
*A gun is fired in the air, and all the contestants run into the street. Well… All the contestants excluding Avatree, baumer, Darth Lehnsherr, MrGamer, Premium George, and Wrath, who are still on the sidewalk.*
SLAM!: Um… The competition’s started…
Avatree: (curled up into a ball) I have motorphobia… I’m afraid of automobiles… The bus ride was a different thing because riding it was a shared experience among many people… Lightning McQueen scarred me for life… I’m sorry, Team Asgard… I know I gotta prove myself, but…
Darth Lehnsherr: (stands in a poised manner) I was conditioned at a young age not to run into the street. ‘Tis an inappropriate behavior.
MrGamer: My shoelaces are tied together… (He frantically tries to untie the knot connecting his feet together, but to no avail.)
*Wrath crosses his arms in silence. Premium George looks down at him. baumer watches from a distance with his hands behind his head.*
Premium George: Well, “Team Leader”?
Premium George: As soon as you participate, I’ll participate. I’m only following your lead.
Wrath: …You’re only shooting yourself in the foot…
*baumer looks away…*
CONFESSIONAL – Premium George: With three of our team members out of the game, we will surely go to tribal council… And that’s exactly what I need to get Wrath out of this game.
CONFESSIONAL – Wrath: I’m sitting out because I strained my wrists trying to pull that slingshot. I know that’s selfish on my part. If my teammates vote me out, I get it. But Premium George acting all high and mighty, and subsequently pulling his stunt, could provide good cover for me… The other teams see me as weak, which is a good thing…
CONFESSIONAL – baumer: (inhales and exhales) I know I should be participating, but…
*Inside a record store with a bunch of Bruce Springsteen statues, the other four members of Team Sokovia meet together.*
PanaMovie: Looks like three of us are sitting out.
Reddroast: Sweet beans in a basket…
Fancyarcher: What? That’s disheartening…
Rorschach: Now’s not the time to worry. Two of Team Wakanda’s also sitting out. If we play well, we could still manage safety. Worst case scenario, we can vote one of them out.
PanaMovie: Hey, what’s the goal of this competition, anyway? To find predictions?
Reddroast: Maybe by predictions, he means the items that are in the stores! Looks like I’m stealing some of these vinyl records here!
*The Springsteen statues turn their heads towards Reddroast, and their eyes become red.*
Springsteen Statues: (in unison) Baby, you were born to run AWAY FROM OUR LASERS!
*Four of the Team Wakanda members stand above an indoor pool. The predictions are in the bottom of pool.*
Kjtc: This doesn’t seem like too challenging of a room…
captainwondyful: Of course it doesn’t! It’s just a pool! You should jump in before I do!
Claire of Themyscira: Yeah, no… You guys know one of the films is 47 Meters Down: Uncaged, right? Ain’t no way there’s not any sharks in here.
*A shark fin passes them by.*
DAJK: …Yeah, I’m not going in…
Kjtc: Where’s ZeeSoh again? I’m sure he’d go in to get the predictions.
Claire of Themyscira: He’s too good for aquatic creatures. He’s in the circus animal salesman’s shop… fighting lions…
*In the circus animal salesman’s shop…*
ZeeSoh: COME AND GET A PIECE OF ME, SIMBA!!
*In the pool area…*
captainwondyful: They wouldn’t put sharks in the water… Those have to be animatronics!
Kjtc: That makes sense. I’m going in.
*Kjtc dives in, much to everyone’s shock.*
DAJK: Oh. Oh dear. Those are real sharks.
Claire of Themyscira: He’s gonna need a bigger amount of common sense…
*Kjtc leaps out of the water, jumping over the sharks, and shows everyone the predictions.*
Kjtc: There. Hopefully we’ll be able to win with these.
*Meanwhile, Team Asgard is meeting inside a Blockbuster video store.*
chasmmi: We don’t have Avatree, but we have plenty of people to win. Me, YourMother, and… StarWarsMemer… will search through this store. Sheikh, Keanu, and Thanos Legion, you three will go to the restaurant next door. Capeesh?
YourMother the Edgelord: There’s probably predictions inside this bag of jalepeño chips… I’ll start eating them… munch munch munch…
StarWarsMemer: I never thought I’d be in a Blockbuster again! *accidently knocks over standees of Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, and Margot Robbie*
*In the restaurant…*
Keanu: All I see inside this restaurant are a bunch of middle-aged adults wearing turtleneck sweaters… It’s like a Richard Linklater film…
Thanos Legion: The ambience of this eatery matches the ambience that would serve well distributed all over the universe… I mean, we need to find those predictions…
*Sheikh spots a middle-aged woman and walks up to her.*
Sheikh: Are you Bernadette, by any chance?
Bernadette: Why, yes. I am Bernadette.
*The turtleneck sweater people stand up in unison.*
Bernadette: Unfortunately for you and your friends… No one finds Bernadette and makes it out alive… Mwahahaha!
Keanu: Goodness me… This is more than I bargained for…
Sheikh: Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it…
*Sheikh analyzes the room like Robert Downey Jr’s version of Sherlock Holmes, and he knocks all of the turtleneck sweater people unconscious. Including Bernadette.*
Thanos Legion: Impressive.
*Meanwhile, in the record store, Reddroast is curled into a ball as red lasers are flying everywhere.*
Reddroast: I’m usually a courageous person… These statues are just spooking me… I’m sorry, guys…
PanaMovie: No biggie, man. We’ll take it from here.
Rorschach: The three of us against all these statues. Is that a good plan?
Fancyarcher: It’s a good a plan as any.
*Fancyarcher, PanaMovie, and Rorschach all fight the statues while Reddroast hides behind the reception desk.*
*ZeeSoh limps into the Blockbuster video store while StarWarsMemer is still trying to reposition the standees and YourMother is eating a bag of chips.*
ZeeSoh: I got somethin’ to say to chasmmi…
YourMother: Well, you’re out of luck. He’s in the gym. You know, the store that’s inspired by Hobbs and Shaw.
*In the gym…*
chasmmi: 100 squats, 100 push-ups, and 100 on the bench-press in order to have the best percentage of the challenge… Yeah, I can handle that… One… Two… Three…
*In the video store…*
YourMother: How’s DAJK doing, if I may ask.
ZeeSoh: I’m sure you’d love to know how he’s doing.
YourMother: I would.
ZeeSoh: Well, he’s fine… He’s probably already forgotten he ever had a showmance with you.
YourMother: Our love transcends showmance, thank you very much. Oh… I found predictions in the bad of chips after all… That’s pretty good…
ZeeSoh: Well, if you love those chips so much, why don’t you marry them instead of DAJK. Okay?
*ZeeSoh limps away while YourMother stands in confusion.*
*All of the contestants gather at the original sidewalk.*
SLAM!: Alright! Now that the game’s over, let’s see the results:
SLAM!: Team Asgard takes the win for the first weekend challenge!
Thanos Legion: Excellent.
SLAM!: And it’s Team Sokovia who is at risk of elimination! Fancyarcher is immune on account of having the #1 score, but everyone else is fair game.
Rorschach: That’s what happens when three of our members don’t send in predictions…
(baumer, Premium George, and Wrath all glance at each other.)
SLAM!: Regarding the lack of predictions… I did not get predictions from @Avatree, @baumer, @Darth Lehnsherr, @MrGamer, @Premium George, and @Wrath. They were given the placeholder score of 35.76%. If they fail to predict in the next weekend challenge, then they will automatically be eliminated from the game.
Here is the information you need to know for the coming week: