CAYOM VII - The Academy Awards

[Blankments]

Hoping for Justin Bartha to present to finish off the Wolfpack

[Ezen Baklattan]

Panic At The Disco and Fun are performing at the Oscars. 

[Alpha]

Fassbender: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Ryan Seacrest!

 

[slightly bigger applause, Seacrest walks onto stage]

 

Seacrest: And this, is American Idol!

 

[laughter]

 

Seacrest: Not really. This, is the Academy Awards! Well, since I have been the main host for American Idol for many years, I have had experience with the music industry.

 

Seacrest: Being so, I'm pleased to announce the nominees for Best Original Song. While they didn't perform on a game show, they performed for the sake of the audience's entertainment. Here are the nominees.

 

"ROCK OF HOLLYWOOD'S FOUNDATION" peformed by Dwanye Johnson (ft. Chuck Norris, Liam Neeson, Joaquin Pheonix & Michael Bay), CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON VS. SANTA CLAUS: ULTIMATE BADASS

 

"CYBERSTORM BRAIN" performed by Arctic Monkeys, THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME

 

"READY, AIM, FIRE!" performed by Panic! At The Disco, SPARK 2: IGNITION

 

"YOU GOTTA LOVE" performed by the cast of The Terrible Plight of Freddy Zapper, THE TERRIBLE PLIGHT OF FREDDY ZAPPER

 

"JUST ONE DAY" performed by fun., The Three-Month Funeral

 

Seacrest: And the winner is...

 

"ROCK OF HOLLYWOOD'S FOUNDATION" peformed by Dwanye Johnson (ft. Chuck Norris, Liam Neeson, Joaquin Pheonix & Michael Bay), CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON VS. SANTA CLAUS: ULTIMATE BADASS

 

Dwanye Johnson: This is great. My own personal song in the movie is being recognized! Thanks, AMPAS! I wish I could share it with Chuck and Liam, but, well...nevermind.

[Blankments]

REDEMPTION FROM "RAP BATTLE" LOSING! WOOO!

[riczhang]

Awesome. Film Editing. awesome for Chuck Norris too.

[Alpha]

Fassbender: Please welcome, Beyonce!

 

[applause, the lights dim]

 

The pop ballad "At The Oscars, Presenting Best Original Score" is sung by Beyonce. Applause follows.

 

Beyonce: (music) And the nominees are... (music)

 

MICHAEL GIACCHINO, AMULET

ALAN SILVESTRI, THE BLUE BELT

CLINT MASNELL, EXTRASENSORY

PATRICK DOYLE, THE RISE AND FALL OF JULIUS CAESAR

JOHN POWELL, SPARK 2: IGNITION

 

Beyonce: (music) And the winner is... (music)

 

CLINT MASNELL, EXTRASENSORY

 

Clint Masnell: To create the dark, ambient soundtrack of Extrasensory was never a bore. I'd like to thank AMPAS, and my family for encouraging me to become a movie composer. Good night.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Whoa, I totally expected Doyle to win again. This is a nice surprise.

[riczhang]

The Extrasensory sentiment is strong........... Much rather it be Rich and Famois.

[Alpha]

We'd now like to go to a commercial break. The Oscars will continue in a moment!

 

After this "break," we're going to get into the bigger categories, starting with Best Adapted Screenplay.

[Alpha]

The Extrasensory sentiment is strong........... Much rather it be Rich and Famois.

 

Both were amazing movies. Rich & Famous on the better hand.

[Blankments]

Might as well be The Rise and Fall of Julius Caesar award.

[Ezen Baklattan]

The Extrasensory sentiment is strong........... Much rather it be Rich and Famois.

And Numbers would think the opposite, heh.

[Blankments]

This is a long commercial break...

[Alpha]

Fassbender: Please welcome, J.J. Abrams!

 

[big applause, Abrams walks onto stage]

 

Abrams: Many people wonder how adapted screenplays are written. It's a rather quick strategy.

 

Abrams: First, the writer begins his search on Cliff Notes. Then he finds a book he really likes, and copies the summaries and pastes them in Final Draft.

 

[laughter]

 

Abrams: I think we know why the book is better than the movie. The nominees for Best Adapted Screenplay are...

 

THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME

HEAVY RAIN

THE RISE AND FALL OF JULIUS CAESAR

SPARK 2: IGNITION

A WOMAN IN THE CROWD

 

Abrams: And the winner is...

 

HEAVY RAIN

 

Winner: Thank you so much for this award! Usually, video game adaptations don't turn out well, but this world is quite friendly to them, unlike on [DATA EXPUNGED, BANNED FROM PUBLIC VIEWING]. I'd like to thank Tomas Alfredson for directing this great movie, and AMPAS for this award.

[Alpha]

This is a long commercial break...

 

I have to write full scripts in between, so excuse me if I'm being rather long

[Ezen Baklattan]

The first big surprise of the night. A solid choice none the less.

Edited May 26, 2013 by Spaghetti

[Alpha]

Fassbender: Ladies and gentlemen, Jason Segel!

 

[applause, Segel walks on stage]

 

Segel: If there's one thing harder than writing an adapted screenplay, it's writing an original screenplay. It's completely different.

 

Segel: You need to invent new characters, you need to formulate dialouge, action, plot, and the hardest, a unique story.

 

Segel: This year, these 5 films accomplished that feat flawlessly, and they are now up for Best Original Screenplay. The nominees are..

 

CELLULOID HEROES

EXTRASENSORY

THE RICH & FAMOUS

RISK MANAGEMENT

THE THREE-MONTH FUNERAL

 

Segel: And the winner is...

 

RISK MANAGEMENT

 

Winner: Believe me, there's more action coming for us tonight! I'd like to thank the Academy, and my family, and my college teacher, who taught me how to write screenplays how they should, and all these people are the reason I'm standing up here right now. Thank you, Academy!

[Blankments]

:o  @Heavy Rain

Edited May 26, 2013 by Blankments Into Darkness

[Ezen Baklattan]

Deserved win for Riczhang. 

[riczhang]

OMFG I VOTED FOR THAT. THAT'S SO AWESOME.