CAYOM VII - The Academy Awards

[riczhang]

Awesome for Risk Management too.

[Alpha]

Fassbender: Man, all I've done tonight is say, "Please welcome, x celebrity!" I need to do something else.

 

Fassbender: Maybe I can, well, see how fine the women are tonight! Things are about to get risque around here!

 

[laughter]

 

Fassbender: Man, Jennifer Garner! You are quite a demon! It'd be complete if you just get some red contact lenses! Oh well, the only way that'll happen is when Ben Affleck annoyes you. Let me guess, it happens a lot?

 

[laughter, Garner blushes]

 

Fassbender: Or what about you Mrs. Julianne Moore! You're quite hot for a 45 year old woman!

 

[shock, laughter]

 

Fassbender: Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend you? My bad, it's really 50, if I remember?

 

[shock, laughter]

 

Fassbender: Now let's get back to business before Julianne chases me with a chainsaw. Please welcome, Robin Williams!

 

[applause, Williams walks on stage]

 

Williams: I've voiced so many animated characters in my past years of acting. It begins to grow, the amount you do, and you gain more interest the more you do it. You do it more an more until you're an expert. It's like smoking, except less harmful.

 

[laughter]

 

Williams: This year, these actors pushed their boundries for voice acting, some of them their first. Here are the nominees for Best Voice Actor/Actress In A Supporting Role.

 

DANIEL CRAIG, AMULET

NATHAN FILLON, CELLULOID HEROES

RALPH FIENNES, THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE

EMINEM, CHUCK NORRIS AND LIAM NEESON VS. SANTA CLAUS: ULTIMATE BADASS

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, SPARK 2: IGNITION

 

Williams: And the winner is...

 

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, SPARK 2: IGNITION

 

Cumberbatch: Thank you for this award, and good night.

[Ezen Baklattan]

YES! Has it ever occurred where an actor won multiple oscars for playing the same character in different movies?

[Blankments]

Benedict Cumberbatch, two-time Academy Award winner. Has a nice ring to it.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Benedict Cumberbatch, two-time Academy Award winner. Has a nice ring to it.

...each time for playing a talking lizard alien.

[4815162342]

HEAVY RAIN?!?!?!?!?

 

 

 

I kid. It was a very good adaptation by ChD of a video game that had waaaaaaaaaaaay too much content and elements to fit into an actual movie.

[Alpha]

Robin Williams: With that, the nominees for Best Voice Actor/Actress In A Leading Role.

 

JOEY KING, AMULET

ELIJAH WOOD, BONE - SOLSTICE

SIMON PEGG, CELLULOID HEROES

ADAM TUDYK, CELLULOID HEROES

PAUL DANO, SPARK 2: IGNITION

 

Williams: And the winner is...

 

SIMON PEGG, CELLULOID HEROES

 

Pegg: This was perhaps the most unique film I've ever done. Hopefully I'll be able to work with both Edgar Wright and Joss Whedon on a sequel to Celluloid Heroes, we had a blast making this one.

[4815162342]

YES! Has it ever occurred where an actor won multiple oscars for playing the same character in different movies?

 

No, only that two people have won Oscars for playing the same character.

[Blankments]

Star Trek dominates the Voice-Acting Categories.

[Alpha]

Star Trek dominates the Voice-Acting Categories.

 

Ikr.

[4815162342]

Was afraid Pegg and Tudyk would split votes there.

 

 

In the distant future with Celluloid Villains you'll have two new contenders in that category.

[Blankments]

In retrospect, I wish I had put Tudyk above Pegg, as Tudyk has proved himself IRL as a voice-acting tour-de-force.

[Alpha]

Fassbender: And now, please welcome, Panic! At The Disco, with "Ready, Aim, Fire!"

 

[big applause, lights dim]

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Life's a giant chase,

as you're coming face to face,

with the secrets of the universe.

And chaos is in style,

so it's gonna stay a while,

as everything seems so adverse.

 

And then the day comes,

where you must fight everyone

just to set things right once more.

So you gotta get that fight,

keep 'em heating up the night,

when you pass on though that coming door,

 

When the cards are against you,

and the odds are a billion to one,

you've gotta start that famous countdown clock,

Five Four Three Two One!

 

Chorus:

When they've got broken down,

with an unsavory state of mind,

Now's the time to do your thing,

and leave the antagonists blind.

You'll soon uncover that glory,

the hero you've wanted to be,

Until that moment comes to you,

Just stand high and shot, "Ready....

...Aim Fire!"

 

The ever dark side,

is gonna run and scream and hide,

when they see your secret weapon shine.

Be the hero that you are,

and you're gonna go far,

but first you've gotta save the current time.

 

When the cards are against you,

and the odds are a billion to one,

you've gotta start that famous countdown clock,

Five Four Three Two One!

 

Chorus

 

*Epic Rocking*

 

When you've got a few minutes to save all life,

there's not a chance to spare expense,

It's up to you, and sometimes you alone,

to be everyone's last defense.

 

Defense!

 

Chorus

 

Chorus

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[huge applause]

Announcer: The Academy Awards will be back in a moment!

[Blankments]

at them performing after they lost.

[Alpha]

at them performing after they lost.

 

They were seen crying afterwards.

[Ezen Baklattan]

PATD has more dignity than you give them credit for.

[Alpha]

Fassbender: Ladies and gentlemen, Leonardo DiCaprio!

 

[applause, DiCaprio walks onto stage]

 

DiCaprio: Many believe women do nothing but work at home. Take care of the kids. Sow with needles and threads. And work as lunch ladies.

 

DiCaprio: This is not true, however. Women are also accomplished actresses, as we saw this year with these 5 actresses.

 

DiCaprio: Unfortunately, these actresses did not get full attention on the spotlight, however they will get credit now, with the award for Best Supporting Actress. The nominees are...

 

RACHEL WEISZ, THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME

VIRGINIE LEDOYEN, THE RISE AND FALL OF JULIUS CAESAR

JULIANNE MOORE, RISK MANAGEMENT

MERYL STREEP, THE THREE-MONTH FUNERAL

ELLEN PAGE, A WOMAN IN THE CROWD

 

DiCaprio: And the winner is...

 

JULIANNE MOORE, RISK MANAGEMENT

 

Moore: Thank you for this award. And no, Michael, I don't have a chainsaw.

 

[laughter]

[riczhang]

Oh Awesome!  

 

Sad Goddess lost though.  

[Alpha]

Fassbender: Ladies and gentleman, please welcome, Jessica Chastain!

 

[applause, Chastain walks onto stage, envelope in hand]

 

Chastain: It's a pleasure to be here presenting the first award of the night, Best Supporting Actor. It makes perfect sense for a woman to be presenting a golden statue to a man in today's age.

 

[laughter]

 

Chastain: Aside from old gender stereotypes...

 

[laughter]

 

Chastain: We had a great batch of talent this year involving men. However, they didn't get the top honor of being the lead actor. It doesn't matter. It's better to be a supporting role in a good movie than a lead role in a bad movie. Here are the nominees for Best Supporting Actor.

 

TIM ROTH, THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME

CASEY AFFLECK, HEAVY RAIN

MATTHEW GOODE, THE RISE AND FALL OF JULIUS CAESAR

RALPH FIENNES, RISK MANAGEMENT

BILL MURRAY, THE THREE-MONTH FUNERAL

 

Chastain: And the winner is...

 

RALPH FIENNES, RISK MANAGEMENT

 

Fiennes: I'd like to thank the Academy, for presenting this, well, rather heavy golden statue to me. I had a great time working with the Coen Brothers on this movie, and I wish them good luck for the rest of the night. Thank you!

[Blankments]

... looks like TMF isn't winning anything. Good job Ric though