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Jonah Hex (2010)  

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I remember when I was in middle school, and a friend of mine was excited to see Jonah Hex, and stated that my anticipation for Toy Story 3 was "way too kiddy" and that I needed to grow up. Funnily enough, that started the decimation of our friendship: Jonah Hex. So let's finally check out this movie.

 

Jonah Hex doesn't belong in live action, at least that's what Jimmy Hayward would think. He shoots this using almost the exact same ideas of his animated features, filling it up with an obnoxiously distracting celebrity cast and choosing musical cues that don't fit the tone at all (the score by Beltrami and Mastodon is dreadful; one of the worst aspects of the film). It feels like a 2000s CGI film brought to life in the worst possible way. The film is also ashamed of being a western, going over-the-top in truly boring ways.

 

Perhaps that's the biggest problem of Jonah Hex. Despite only being about an hour long plus credits, it feels like a typical bloated summer blockbuster. It's one boring film, lacking in anything interesting. It looks like it's shot with default Instagram filters and is edited like an unpleasantly hyper-kinetic music video. The cast is incredibly wasted: I don't know how you have Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Michael Fassbender, and Will Arnett in one movie and get this drivel out of it.

 

The one thing that kept popping into this reviewer's mind while watching Jonah Hex is "disgusting." The aesthetic is disgusting, the makeup is ugly in an uninteresting way, and it's a movie truly hates itself. Jonah Hex lives up to the anti-hype and is an absolutely horrendous movie that no one should see. D-

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