Alpha Posted December 2, 2013 Author Share Posted December 2, 2013 Pompeii But If You Close Your Eyes, Does It Almost Feel Like Nothing Changed At All Wolfgang Petersen brings us the massive (massive meaning a $225 million budget) historical epic Pompeii. I have to say, this film is really engaging. The writing was very good and original, and didn't feel like a word-by-word description of the Mount Vesuvius eruption. Instead, we get a satisfying story about young Attilius Prime trying to expose Ampliatus for his treason against Rome. But snap, crackle, pop the volcano erupts, and the film turns from historical drama to chaos. While in the beginning of the film we see beautiful landscape shots of Pompeii, and in the end we see this city burn to the ground. Yet this grand finale is more visually stunning than anything before it, and it creates such a raw atmosphere, even for a disaster film. If you see any blockbuster this spring, see Pompeii. Like, now. A- 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blankments Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 Alpha, feel free to review any of mine. I love reviews but tbh not a fan of any of my own movies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 Thanksgiving break is over, and it's back to school. Plus after school I'm going to a friend's, so more reviews on Wednesday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted December 5, 2013 Author Share Posted December 5, 2013 (edited) The Good, The Bad, And The Dead To Make A Long Story Short... I've been thinking for a little bit how I should review this film, but I instead just decided to make it plain and simple. The Good, The Bad, And The Dead is a good horror movie. I think that Sam Raimi did what his heart told him to do and make a thoroughly enjoyable horror comedy. Bruce Campbell and Colin Farrell were fine actors, and while the jokes could get immature at times, it's still pretty funny. If your saving up money for Unbalanced V next weekend, maybe try to make space in your piggy bank for The Good, The Bad, And The Dead. B Edited December 5, 2013 by Alpha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted December 8, 2013 Author Share Posted December 8, 2013 To finish up my review session for the Winter Season of Year 8, here's my reviews for films that weren't requested.Army Of Two: The Devil's CartelWho knew Blankments has a fascination for action films? Army Of Two 3 is not a narrative based story, but is instead made to be fun entertainment in wha has been a gray month of January. Go see it if you like popcorn movies, but stay away if you prefer brain cells over one-liners. B-ChessmanSpaghetti is always full of original ideas, and Chessman is one of them. The animation is on-par, but the story is original and funny. There's a lot of good ideas in this film, and thankfully most of them work. B+Ice Station 2: Area 7I liked last year's Ice Station, and it just missed the Honorable Mentions list. Ice Station 2: Area 7 is kinda forgettable, but same with Army Of Two 3, it's really only for action fans. It's just dumber than Army Of Two 3. C+Curling MenNot much to say, except that it's just a semi-funny semi-stupid sports comedy. B-Silent Invasion 3: The AttackIt exists. CFarmVilleIt also exists. CSpinach Artichoke DipI remember that Blankments wanted to focus on winning more Oscars. Spinach Artichoke Dip is MOST DEFINITELY a sign that he's trying. Not. D+Daniel Tosh: New And ImprovedSorry Hiccup, but Daniel Tosh is not that funny. He's just plain crude. Unfortunately he's front and center in this movie, so that's all this movie is. C-The Guardian Of The WestA very insightful look at the Western legend Wyatt Earp, and his cultural following. A-Espionage Project 2: This Time, It's EsperationalFThomas Was AloneIt's a shame no one requested this movie, because I have a lot to say about it. Thomas Was Alone is like a piece of art painted on a small canvas. It may not be big, but it's still a masterpiece. Thomas Was Alone is easily the greatest movie of the Winter season, because of the beautiful nature of the film, even considering it's minimal style. It's movies like this that make me think highly of traditional animation, something Hollywood should try again. A 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blankments Posted December 8, 2013 Share Posted December 8, 2013 Spinach Artichoke Dip I remember that Blankments wanted to focus on winning more Oscars. Spinach Artichoke Dip is MOST DEFINITELY a sign that he's trying. Not. D+ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted January 20, 2014 Author Share Posted January 20, 2014 Bump. I'm accepting requests for Spring of Year 8. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJohn Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 I only have Godzilla and Digimon. You can review them both if you want. Or not. It is up to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted January 25, 2014 Author Share Posted January 25, 2014 Life I Think I Could Here Arcade Fire's "Wake Up" In The Background Once again, Terrence Malick disguises himself as Ang Lee to direct Life, an anthology about being human. I think I can appreciate where Hiccup was going on this thing, which was to provide audiences about different kinds of culture. However, Life is more comparable to a cheesy greetings card than an epic about our world. Everything in Life is embellished for the sake of making a "beautiful portrait" of a film. The film is the car and the story is the wheels, and the stories in Life don't go anywhere. I think Life would have worked better as a documentary, because at the very least the stories would feel real. The scope of Life is limited to it's majestic scope, and the rest proves to be more corny than charming. C+ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiccup Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Life I Think I Could Here Arcade Fire's "Wake Up" In The Background Once again, Terrence Malick disguises himself as Ang Lee to direct Life, an anthology about being human. I think I can appreciate where Hiccup was going on this thing, which was to provide audiences about different kinds of culture. However, Life is more comparable to a cheesy greetings card than an epic about our world. Everything in Life is embellished for the sake of making a "beautiful portrait" of a film. The film is the car and the story is the wheels, and the stories in Life don't go anywhere. I think Life would have worked better as a documentary, because at the very least the stories would feel real. The scope of Life is limited to it's majestic scope, and the rest proves to be more corny than charming. C+ Oh Ang Lee directed the film not Terrence Malick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Interconnected is my request for springsummer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 Oh Ang Lee directed the film not Terrence Malick. What I meant by that is the film felt so much like a Terrence Malick film, both visually and conceptually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 (edited) Horror House So Bad It's Bad So Jeremy Renner and Isla Fisher move to a town called Killsville (Really?). And decide to explore a haunted house because "they are so bored" (Um?). And then the house tells them it's haunted ( Let's get this party started!). And then random shit happens. And Jeremy Renner thinks that it's all a dream (despite the fact that his character's a paranormal investigator?). And Jeremy Renner gets killed, but Isla Fisher makes it out in time. Jeremy Renner goes to hell. The devil decides to screw around with Isla (Films 101: Random character appearance!). And Isla Fisher gets shot by the devil. And the police think Jeremy Renner and Isla Fisher were teenagers (despite the fact their bodies were still there at the scene?). And when they find out Isla Fisher is still alive, they think she's drunk without even doing a sobriety test. ( ). And they arrest her because they think she's a teenager and she's drunk. (*insert Picard facepalm here*). And the house screams at the end, while jumping at the viewer. And just to make sure this is a Films movie, there's a flashback halfway through. What. F Edited January 26, 2014 by Alpha 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Films Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Horror HouseSo Bad It's Bad So Jeremy Renner and Isla Fisher move to a town called Killsville (Really?). And decide to explore a haunted house because "they are so bored" (Um?). And then the house tells them it's haunted ( Let's get this party started!). And then random shit happens. And Jeremy Renner thinks that it's all a dream (despite the fact that his character's a paranormal investigator?). And Jeremy Renner gets killed, but Isla Fisher makes it out in time. Jeremy Renner goes to hell. The devil decides to screw around with Isla (Films 101: Random character appearance!). And Isla Fisher gets shot by the devil. And the police think Jeremy Renner and Isla Fisher were teenagers (despite the fact their bodies were still there at the scene?). And when they find out Isla Fisher is still alive, they think she's drunk without even doing a sobriety test. ( ). And they arrest her because they think she's a teenager and she's drunk. (*insert Picard facepalm here*). And the house screams at the end, while jumping at the viewer. And just to make sure this is a Films movie, there's a flashback halfway through. What. FI think im starting to like making movies everyone hates but one thing. Renners body wasn't there when the police got there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 I think im starting to like making movies everyone hates Surprise: Films is Ed Wood! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 The Legend of Redwall Cause I'm Coming At You Like A Dark Horse... The Legend of Redwall was terrible, easily one of the worst films of the year. I couldn't stand how dumb the story and characters were, and I hope this movie bombs so I won't need to hear about it ever again? Who wanted to see a Little Mix movie anyways? Wait, what? Oh, sorry, I was reading Move's plot summary. My bad. *scrolls down* OK, here we go. The Legend of Redwall is a whimsical tale about a magical land of anthromorphic animals, most notably the mouse Matthias, the protagonist of the story. In the film, Matthias must find a legendary sword, once wielded by the great Martin the Warrior, to defeat the rat Cluny and his villainous army. The movie itself is well made, will an all-star cast and some pretty well done animation. Jesse Eisenburg has a role that suits him well, but Mark Strong as usual fits in the villain role like a glove. Plus, the storytelling is top notch, with an intriguing plot that allows the film to develop it's characters and mood, and when it pays off, it really pays off. With Thomas Was Alone and now The Legend of Redwall, I'm very excited for what animation is going to bring this year. A- 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rukaio101 Posted January 26, 2014 Share Posted January 26, 2014 Horror House So Bad It's Bad So Jeremy Renner and Isla Fisher move to a town called Killsville (Really?). And decide to explore a haunted house because "they are so bored" (Um?). And then the house tells them it's haunted ( Let's get this party started!). And then random shit happens. And Jeremy Renner thinks that it's all a dream (despite the fact that his character's a paranormal investigator?). And Jeremy Renner gets killed, but Isla Fisher makes it out in time. Jeremy Renner goes to hell. The devil decides to screw around with Isla (Films 101: Random character appearance!). And Isla Fisher gets shot by the devil. And the police think Jeremy Renner and Isla Fisher were teenagers (despite the fact their bodies were still there at the scene?). And when they find out Isla Fisher is still alive, they think she's drunk without even doing a sobriety test. ( ). And they arrest her because they think she's a teenager and she's drunk. (*insert Picard facepalm here*). And the house screams at the end, while jumping at the viewer. And just to make sure this is a Films movie, there's a flashback halfway through. What. F Surprise: Films is Ed Wood! "What do you know? Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?!" Seriously though, thanks for the Redwall review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted January 26, 2014 Author Share Posted January 26, 2014 Walls of Stone Ehh? There's not much to say other than Walls of Stone is 162 minutes of medieval drama. None of it is that interesting either. C- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha Posted January 27, 2014 Author Share Posted January 27, 2014 (edited) Changing my review format. Next Vegas The premise of a cyberpunk Las Vegas is intriguing, but unfortunately Next Vegas' writers don't take the idea too far. Instead, we get a drug-world story that doesn't take the movie as far as it should go. C+ Stephen King's It: Part 2 While I never found the miniseries It that scary, parts 1 and 2 of this new reboot are frightfully delightful. B Happy Tree Friends Making this into a collection of stories wasn't a great idea, but I still enjoy the dark, grotesque humor of Happy Tree Friends. B Move D+ Edited January 27, 2014 by Alpha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blankments Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 Horror House So Bad It's Bad So Jeremy Renner and Isla Fisher move to a town called Killsville (Really?). And decide to explore a haunted house because "they are so bored" (Um?). And then the house tells them it's haunted ( Let's get this party started!). And then random shit happens. And Jeremy Renner thinks that it's all a dream (despite the fact that his character's a paranormal investigator?). And Jeremy Renner gets killed, but Isla Fisher makes it out in time. Jeremy Renner goes to hell. The devil decides to screw around with Isla (Films 101: Random character appearance!). And Isla Fisher gets shot by the devil. And the police think Jeremy Renner and Isla Fisher were teenagers (despite the fact their bodies were still there at the scene?). And when they find out Isla Fisher is still alive, they think she's drunk without even doing a sobriety test. ( ). And they arrest her because they think she's a teenager and she's drunk. (*insert Picard facepalm here*). And the house screams at the end, while jumping at the viewer. And just to make sure this is a Films movie, there's a flashback halfway through. What. F reading a review like this makes me want to return to CAYOM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
