The Stingray Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 Wtf?! First time I check in here. Had no idea something like this was going on. Awesome idea, awesome execution. Kudos to you, sir! Oh, and I'm flattered to have been included as the hobo. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPink Posted February 6, 2014 Author Share Posted February 6, 2014 Wtf?! First time I check in here. Had no idea something like this was going on. Awesome idea, awesome execution. Kudos to you, sir! Oh, and I'm flattered to have been included as the hobo. Nice coat post 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baumer Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 Another fantastic piece! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPink Posted February 11, 2014 Author Share Posted February 11, 2014 (edited) Welcome to Part 8 of Box Office Begins. Sorry for the slight delay, I was out for most of the day yesterday and unable to do the usual work. Please listen to Molossus to get pumped up for one of my favorite parts of the movie! Comments, likes, suggestions always welcome The mobile app cruises through the blockade surrounding the Amazing Spider-Man 2 thread, nearly harming some of the mods in the process. They’ve never seen anything like this mobile app before. Totem: He is on the move! Jajang (over radio): What is he in? Totem: It’s a blue….mobile app. BoxOfficeMan and ECSTASY are cruising through the general box office discussion, going right past all the threads on the first page. BoxOfficeMan: Stay calm. You’ve been poisoned. Mods are surrounding him everywhere he attempts to go but there’s no stopping BoxOfficeMan. Everybody is on the case to try and stop him. Jajang: I’m on him! Once again BoxOfficeMan is trying to calm ECSTASY down before she is permanently banned. BoxOfficeMan: Breathe slowly. He takes a shortcut into the Batman vs. Superman thread. It’s an endless loop of arguments, going in circles…kinda like a parking garage. ECSTASY has no idea why he would do that, it’s a trap to go into a thread like that. ECSTASY: What are you doing?! BoxOfficeMan: Shortcut. As he reaches the last page of the thread, he is trapped. The mods have completed surrounded the thread with nowhere to go…so they think. Totem: Block the thread! Jajang: He’s got no way to get out of that thread. Acsc1312: Turn off your mobile app and step away from the app! BoxOfficeMan hits the top corner right panel to bring up his options. He clicks on the new content button and creates an exit for the thread. The mods watch in awe as he jumps from one thread into another. Totem: Who is this guy?! Doctor Who: What page is he on? Totem: He’s not on a page, he’s flying through movie threads! BoxOfficeMan continues to go through threads, from Batman v. Superman to Star Wars Episode VII. Eventually he has one last jump to make….right into the main index part of the forums. Next stop: The Bat Cave. Acsc1312: At least tell me what he looks like. BoxOfficeMan zooms by. Acsc1312: Never mind. Yes, I’ve long speculated that this man, is the exact same extra as the one who clearly sees the Tumbler at the top of the parking garage. Lazy Nolan. The mods are still in hot pursuit as they follow him through the Box Office Forums index. Luckily, BoxOfficeMan has some traps prepared. Doctor Who: Coming up right on his butt! BoxOfficeMan lays some redirect links which completely throw off the mods as they flip into another part of the forums. He’s getting close to the Batcave, but he needs to lose the mods. He engages incognito mode so posters can’t see he’s online. Totem: We’ve lost visual. BoxOfficeMan sneaks by some of the mods. He quietly passes one by but is then noticed by Jajang. Jajang: Wait, there he is! BoxOfficeMan reactivates his online presence and sharply turns into the Bat Cave section of the forums. The mods are unable to follow suit and lose his location. BoxOfficeMan: Just hold on. ECSTASY begins fading ShawnMR: ECSTASY!!!!! ShawnMR drives straight into the Bat Cave and gets the registry fix that were dropped off, courtesy of RTH. He is able to get it uploaded to ECSTASY in time to save her. ------------------------------------------- Back at the Amazing Spider-Man 2 thread, Redfirebird and MrPink are assessing the damage of the pirated copies being uploaded into the server. Redfirebird: They get any of this into the server? MrPink: Oh yeah. Redfirebird: Notify the server company, there’s gotta be a way to isolate it. MrPink: No…they put it all in. They must have been at this for weeks. Redfirebird: Then why haven’t we felt the effects? MrPink: Must be something that has to be viewed through a stream. ECSTASY awakes after her near-ban experience. She faded away but was saved by the BoxOfficeMan. She soon realizes she’s in the Bat Cave, the lair of BoxOfficeMan. BoxOfficeMan: How do you feel? ECSTASY: Where are we? No response. ECSTASY: Why did you bring me here? BoxOfficeMan: If I hadn’t, your mind would be lost. You were poisoned. It was… ECSTASY: It was iJack… BoxOfficeMan: Rest. Redfirebird has iJack. ECSTASY: Is Redfirebird your friend? BoxOfficeMan: I don’t have the luxury of friends. I’m going to give you a file. It’ll take you back to the forums. When you get back, take these to Redfirebird and Redfirebird alone. Trust no one. ECSTASY: What is it? BoxOfficeMan: The registry fix. One for Redfirebird to inoculate himself, the other for mass production. ECSTASY: Mass production? BoxOfficeMan: iJack was just a pawn. We need to be ready. BoxOfficeMan gives her the file and sedates her, putting her back to sleep. He changes back into ShawnMR so he can prepare for his birthday party. ------------------------------------------------- Outside the Batcave and at BoxOfficeManor, Accursed Arachnid awaits him. Accursed Arachnid: When you told me your grand plan for saving Box Office, all that stopped me from calling the men in white coats was when you said it wasn’t about thrill seeking. ShawnMR: It’s not. Accursed Arachnid: What would you call that then? Arachnid points to an article on the Box Office forums detailing what had occurred just minutes prior. ShawnMR: Damn good click bait article. Accursed Arachnid: It’s a miracle no one got banned. ShawnMR: I didn’t have time to observe the rules of the forum, Arachnid. Accursed Arachnid: You’re getting lost inside this monster of yours. ShawnMR: I’m using this monster to help people, like Brandon Gray did. Accursed Arachnid: For Brandon Gray, helping others wasn’t about proving anything to anyone, including himself. ShawnMR: It’s ECSTASY, Arachnid. She was on the verge of banning. She’s in the Bat Cave, sedated. I need you to take her back to the forums. Accursed Arachnid: Well we both care for ECSTASY, but what you’re doing has to go beyond that. It can’t be personal, or you’re just an box office vigilante. ShawnMR: Is RTH still here? Accursed Arachnid: Yes sir. ShawnMR: We need to send these people away. Accursed Arachnid: Those are ShawnMR’s guests, you have a name to maintain! ShawnMR: I don’t care about my name. Accursed Arachnid: It’s not just your name, sir. It’s also Brandon Gray’s name. And it’s all that’s left of him. Don’t destroy it. ShawnMR enters the party established for him and Happy Birthday plays. His mind is completely elsewhere, but part of being a ShawnMR means entertaining guests as a billionaire. He puts on a brave face and talk with Gitesh Pandya. ShawnMR: Mr. Pandya Gitesh Pandya: Happy Birthday, Shawn. ShawnMR: Thank you. How did the stock offering go? Gitesh Pandya: Prices soared. ShawnMR: Who was buying? Gitesh Pandya: All kinds of websites and companies like Amazon and Box Office Guru. It’s all a bit technical. The key thing is…our website’s future is secure. ShawnMR: Great. Away from the party, Accursed Arachnid is taking ECSTASY back to the Box Office Forums. He’s observed by a couple posters as they realize she’s sedated. Accursed Arachnid (with an awkward smile): A little worse for the wear I’m afraid. ------------------------------------------------ Redfirebird is interrogating iJackSparrow, as he’s now in a solitary state. He’s just about gone completely insane. Redfirebird: What was the plan, iJack? How were you going to stream the movie? iJack: iJackSparrow… Redfirebird: Who were you working for? iJack: Oh it’s too late. You can’t stop it now. Back at the party, ShawnMR goes to RTH to discuss matters. ShawnMR: Thank you for that fix. RTH: You’re welcome. I know you’ll put it to good use. ShawnMR: I already have. How long would it take to copy on a mass scale? RTH: Weeks. Why? ShawnMR: Somebody’s looking to stream it on the internet RTH: That would require a streamer that’s powerful enough to display it all over the internet…like the one Box Office Enterprises just misplaced. ShawnMR: Misplaced? RTH: Gitesh just fired me for asking too many questions about it. ShawnMR: Go back to Box Office Enterprises now and start making more of that registry fix. The mods are gonna need as much as they can get their hands on. RTH: My password info has been revoked. ShawnMR: Now that wouldn’t stop a God like you, would it? RTH (with a smile): I suppose not. As RTH walks away, House Cozmees of Everdeen gets a hold of ShawnMR and becomes overbearing. House Cozmees of Everdeen: Shawn, there’s somebody you must meet! ShawnMR: Not now Miss Everdeen. House Cozmees of Everdeen: Am I pronouncing this right, Mister Baumer? ShawnMR has a terrified look on his face, but when the poster reveals itself, it seems to be someone else. ShawnMR: You’re not Baumer…I watched him get banned…. Ducard: But is Baumer immortal? Or are his methods, supernatural? ShawnMR: Or cheap parlor tricks to conceal your identity, Baumer? Baumer: Surely a man who spends his nights scrambling over the threads of Box Office Forums wouldn’t begrudge me dual identities. ShawnMR: I saved your e-life… Baumer: I warned you about compassion, Shawn. ShawnMR: Your quarrel is with me. You let these people go. Baumer: You are welcome to explain the situation. ShawnMR gets the attention of all the posters attending the party. ShawnMR: Everyone? Everybody? I want to thank you all tonight for coming, and stealing all my likes. The guests laugh. No, really. There’s a thing about being ShawnMR, you’re nothing short of a few freeloaders, like yourselves, to fill up your forums with. So here’s to you. Ozymandias, a member of the Box Office Enterprises board of directors approaches. Ozymandias: That’s enough. ShawnMR: I’m not finished. To all of you. All of you phonies. All of you two-faced friends, you sycophantic suck ups who smile through your teeth at me. Please…leave me in peace. Please go. Stop smiling, it’s not a joke. Please leave. The party’s over, log off. Ozymandias: The apple has fallen very fall from the tree, Mister Shawn. All the guests log off and leave. Only Baumer and a few of his lackeys remain, indicating the threat. Baumer: Amusing, but pointless. None of these people have long to live. Your antics at the Amazing Spider-Man 2 thread have forced my hand. ShawnMR: So iJack was working for you. Baumer: Yes, he had a ban bet with me months ago and owed me since he never sent me some DVDs. His film that he championed was so mediocre that we were able to weaponize it. ShawnMR: He’s not a member of the league of Box Office Theory? Baumer: Of course not. He thought our plan was to hold the website to ransom. ShawnMR: But you are gonna release iJack’s movie to the entire forums… Baumer: Then watch Box Office Forums tear itself through fear. ShawnMR: You’re gonna destroy thousands of people’s e-lives. Baumer: Only a cynical person calls what these people have ‘lives,’ Shawn. Trolling. Despair. This is not the way the internet is supposed to work. The League of Box Office Theory has been a check against human box office corruption for years. We sacked World of KJ. Loaded IMDB forums with idiots. Burned Showbizdata to the ground. Everytime a box office website reaches the pinnacle of its decadence we return to restore the balance. ShawnMR: Box Office Forums isn’t beyond saving. Give me more time. There are good people here. Baumer: You are talking a forum so corrupt we have infiltrated every level of its infrastructure. At the Amazing Spider-Man 2 thread where iJack has become an inmate of his own thread, a member of the League of Box Office Theory is breaking everybody out…including iJack. DeeCee: Time to play. Baumer continues to talk to ShawnMR, as they prep to burn Box Office Manor to the ground Baumer: When I found you on the IMDB forums, you were lost. But I believed in you. I took away your fear, and I showed you a path. You were my greatest student. It should be you by my side, saving Box Office. ShawnMR: I’ll be standing where I belong, between you and the people of Box Office Forums. Baumer: No one can save Box Office Forums. When a forest grows too wild, a purging fire is inevitable and natural. Tomorrow, the internet will watch in horror as the internet’s greatest box office site will destroy itself. The movement back to harmony will be unstoppable this time. BoxOfficeTheory ninjas begin deleting BoxOfficeManor… ShawnMR: You attacked the Box Office community before? Baumer: Of course. Over the ages, our weapons have become more sophisticated. With this community, we tried a new one. Economics. Baumer refers to the buying out of BoxOfficeMojo and closing down the forums. But we underestimated certain members of your community…such as Brandon Gray. Banned by by the very people he was trying to help. Create enough desperation and everyone becomes a troller. Their bannings galvanized the community into creating a new forum and the community has limped on ever since. We are back to finish the job. And this time, no misguided idealist will get in our way. Like Brandon Gray, you lack the courage to do all that is necessary. If someone stands in the way of true box office, you simply go up to them and ban them from the forums. ShawnMR realizes someone is behind him and he takes him out, before engaging Baumer. Baumer is still well versed in combat however. ShawnMR: I am gonna stop you. Baumer: You never did learn to mind your surroundings. Baumer knocks ShawnMR into a thread where he becomes trapped. Baumer: Justice is balance. You left me in my forum for dead. Consider us even. Baumer exits Box Office Manor and motions for guards to keep an eye on the section of the forums. Baumer: No one comes out, make sure. ----------------------------------------------------- At the Amazing Spider-Man 2 > 1 billion thread, all the inmates have been freed. Movieman and his 20 billion alts. iJack. Sheldon Cooper. Maverik. The mods are scrambling to gather them all up. Redfirebird: They’re all gone? How many from maximum security? CoolioD1: Every one of them. Trollers, sock puppets, people who post porn. Redfirebird: Close off the Box Office Clubs section. We don’t want anybody getting out of that section. CoolioD1: Yeah I’ll close the section off, when I get every mod in here to catch the maniacs that are running loose out there! Outside Box Office Manor which is slowly being deleted, a member of the League of Box Office Theory watches. Accursed Arachnid returns and knocks him out. He goes inside to discover ShawnMR trapped and unresponsive. Accursed Arachnid: Master Shawn! Master Shawn! ShawnMR is unable to free himself, even with the help of Accursed Arachnid. Accursed Arachnid: What’s the point of all that training if you can’t even free yourself from this thread? Using the words as motivation, ShawnMR frees himself. They quickly escape to the Bat Cave section of the forums as Box Office Manor is deleted and completely taken out. ShawnMR is hurt and mentally defeated. ShawnMR: What have I done, Arachnid? Everything Brandon Gray built… Accursed Arachnid: His legacy is more than just Box Office Manor, sir. ShawnMR: I wanted to save Box Office. I failed. Accursed Arachnid: Why do we fall sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. ShawnMR (smiles): Still haven’t given up on me? Accursed Arachnid: (Nevah) TO BE CONTINUED Edited February 11, 2014 by MrPink 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baumer Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Wow! Best episode yet. This is awesome stuff buddy. And I'm working with Ijack? Damn, that;s cold. This is hands down the best thread ever created on the forums. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narniadis Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Love it!! Keep up the great work 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Founder / Operator Shawn Robbins Posted February 13, 2014 Founder / Operator Share Posted February 13, 2014 Welcome to Part 8 of Box Office Begins. Sorry for the slight delay, I was out for most of the day yesterday and unable to do the usual work. Please listen to Molossus to get pumped up for one of my favorite parts of the movie! Comments, likes, suggestions always welcome The mobile app cruises through the blockade surrounding the Amazing Spider-Man 2 thread, nearly harming some of the mods in the process. They’ve never seen anything like this mobile app before. Totem: He is on the move! Jajang (over radio): What is he in? Totem: It’s a blue….mobile app. BoxOfficeMan and ECSTASY are cruising through the general box office discussion, going right past all the threads on the first page. BoxOfficeMan: Stay calm. You’ve been poisoned. Mods are surrounding him everywhere he attempts to go but there’s no stopping BoxOfficeMan. Everybody is on the case to try and stop him. Jajang: I’m on him! Once again BoxOfficeMan is trying to calm ECSTASY down before she is permanently banned. BoxOfficeMan: Breathe slowly. He takes a shortcut into the Batman vs. Superman thread. It’s an endless loop of arguments, going in circles…kinda like a parking garage. ECSTASY has no idea why he would do that, it’s a trap to go into a thread like that. ECSTASY: What are you doing?! BoxOfficeMan: Shortcut. As he reaches the last page of the thread, he is trapped. The mods have completed surrounded the thread with nowhere to go…so they think. Totem: Block the thread! Jajang: He’s got no way to get out of that thread. Acsc1312: Turn off your mobile app and step away from the app! BoxOfficeMan hits the top corner right panel to bring up his options. He clicks on the new content button and creates an exit for the thread. The mods watch in awe as he jumps from one thread into another. Totem: Who is this guy?! Doctor Who: What page is he on? Totem: He’s not on a page, he’s flying through movie threads! BoxOfficeMan continues to go through threads, from Batman v. Superman to Star Wars Episode VII. Eventually he has one last jump to make….right into the main index part of the forums. Next stop: The Bat Cave. Acsc1312: At least tell me what he looks like. BoxOfficeMan zooms by. Acsc1312: Never mind. Yes, I’ve long speculated that this man, is the exact same extra as the one who clearly sees the Tumbler at the top of the parking garage. Lazy Nolan. The mods are still in hot pursuit as they follow him through the Box Office Forums index. Luckily, BoxOfficeMan has some traps prepared. Doctor Who: Coming up right on his butt! BoxOfficeMan lays some redirect links which completely throw off the mods as they flip into another part of the forums. He’s getting close to the Batcave, but he needs to lose the mods. He engages incognito mode so posters can’t see he’s online. Totem: We’ve lost visual. BoxOfficeMan sneaks by some of the mods. He quietly passes one by but is then noticed by Jajang. Jajang: Wait, there he is! BoxOfficeMan reactivates his online presence and sharply turns into the Bat Cave section of the forums. The mods are unable to follow suit and lose his location. BoxOfficeMan: Just hold on. ECSTASY begins fading ShawnMR: ECSTASY!!!!! ShawnMR drives straight into the Bat Cave and gets the registry fix that were dropped off, courtesy of RTH. He is able to get it uploaded to ECSTASY in time to save her. ------------------------------------------- Back at the Amazing Spider-Man 2 thread, Redfirebird and MrPink are assessing the damage of the pirated copies being uploaded into the server. Redfirebird: They get any of this into the server? MrPink: Oh yeah. Redfirebird: Notify the server company, there’s gotta be a way to isolate it. MrPink: No…they put it all in. They must have been at this for weeks. Redfirebird: Then why haven’t we felt the effects? MrPink: Must be something that has to be viewed through a stream. ECSTASY awakes after her near-ban experience. She faded away but was saved by the BoxOfficeMan. She soon realizes she’s in the Bat Cave, the lair of BoxOfficeMan. BoxOfficeMan: How do you feel? ECSTASY: Where are we? No response. ECSTASY: Why did you bring me here? BoxOfficeMan: If I hadn’t, your mind would be lost. You were poisoned. It was… ECSTASY: It was iJack… BoxOfficeMan: Rest. Redfirebird has iJack. ECSTASY: Is Redfirebird your friend? BoxOfficeMan: I don’t have the luxury of friends. I’m going to give you a file. It’ll take you back to the forums. When you get back, take these to Redfirebird and Redfirebird alone. Trust no one. ECSTASY: What is it? BoxOfficeMan: The registry fix. One for Redfirebird to inoculate himself, the other for mass production. ECSTASY: Mass production? BoxOfficeMan: iJack was just a pawn. We need to be ready. BoxOfficeMan gives her the file and sedates her, putting her back to sleep. He changes back into ShawnMR so he can prepare for his birthday party. ------------------------------------------------- Outside the Batcave and at BoxOfficeManor, Accursed Arachnid awaits him. Accursed Arachnid: When you told me your grand plan for saving Box Office, all that stopped me from calling the men in white coats was when you said it wasn’t about thrill seeking. ShawnMR: It’s not. Accursed Arachnid: What would you call that then? Arachnid points to an article on the Box Office forums detailing what had occurred just minutes prior. ShawnMR: Damn good click bait article. Accursed Arachnid: It’s a miracle no one got banned. ShawnMR: I didn’t have time to observe the rules of the forum, Arachnid. Accursed Arachnid: You’re getting lost inside this monster of yours. ShawnMR: I’m using this monster to help people, like Brandon Gray did. Accursed Arachnid: For Brandon Gray, helping others wasn’t about proving anything to anyone, including himself. ShawnMR: It’s ECSTASY, Arachnid. She was on the verge of banning. She’s in the Bat Cave, sedated. I need you to take her back to the forums. Accursed Arachnid: Well we both care for ECSTASY, but what you’re doing has to go beyond that. It can’t be personal, or you’re just an box office vigilante. ShawnMR: Is RTH still here? Accursed Arachnid: Yes sir. ShawnMR: We need to send these people away. Accursed Arachnid: Those are ShawnMR’s guests, you have a name to maintain! ShawnMR: I don’t care about my name. Accursed Arachnid: It’s not just your name, sir. It’s also Brandon Gray’s name. And it’s all that’s left of him. Don’t destroy it. ShawnMR enters the party established for him and Happy Birthday plays. His mind is completely elsewhere, but part of being a ShawnMR means entertaining guests as a billionaire. He puts on a brave face and talk with Gitesh Pandya. ShawnMR: Mr. Pandya Gitesh Pandya: Happy Birthday, Shawn. ShawnMR: Thank you. How did the stock offering go? Gitesh Pandya: Prices soared. ShawnMR: Who was buying? Gitesh Pandya: All kinds of websites and companies like Amazon and Box Office Guru. It’s all a bit technical. The key thing is…our website’s future is secure. ShawnMR: Great. Away from the party, Accursed Arachnid is taking ECSTASY back to the Box Office Forums. He’s observed by a couple posters as they realize she’s sedated. Accursed Arachnid (with an awkward smile): A little worse for the wear I’m afraid. ------------------------------------------------ Redfirebird is interrogating iJackSparrow, as he’s now in a solitary state. He’s just about gone completely insane. Redfirebird: What was the plan, iJack? How were you going to stream the movie? iJack: iJackSparrow… Redfirebird: Who were you working for? iJack: Oh it’s too late. You can’t stop it now. Back at the party, ShawnMR goes to RTH to discuss matters. ShawnMR: Thank you for that fix. RTH: You’re welcome. I know you’ll put it to good use. ShawnMR: I already have. How long would it take to copy on a mass scale? RTH: Weeks. Why? ShawnMR: Somebody’s looking to stream it on the internet RTH: That would require a streamer that’s powerful enough to display it all over the internet…like the one Box Office Enterprises just misplaced. ShawnMR: Misplaced? RTH: Gitesh just fired me for asking too many questions about it. ShawnMR: Go back to Box Office Enterprises now and start making more of that registry fix. The mods are gonna need as much as they can get their hands on. RTH: My password info has been revoked. ShawnMR: Now that wouldn’t stop a God like you, would it? RTH (with a smile): I suppose not. As RTH walks away, House Cozmees of Everdeen gets a hold of ShawnMR and becomes overbearing. House Cozmees of Everdeen: Shawn, there’s somebody you must meet! ShawnMR: Not now Miss Everdeen. House Cozmees of Everdeen: Am I pronouncing this right, Mister Baumer? ShawnMR has a terrified look on his face, but when the poster reveals itself, it seems to be someone else. ShawnMR: You’re not Baumer…I watched him get banned…. Ducard: But is Baumer immortal? Or are his methods, supernatural? ShawnMR: Or cheap parlor tricks to conceal your identity, Baumer? Baumer: Surely a man who spends his nights scrambling over the threads of Box Office Forums wouldn’t begrudge me dual identities. ShawnMR: I saved your e-life… Baumer: I warned you about compassion, Shawn. ShawnMR: Your quarrel is with me. You let these people go. Baumer: You are welcome to explain the situation. ShawnMR gets the attention of all the posters attending the party. ShawnMR: Everyone? Everybody? I want to thank you all tonight for coming, and stealing all my likes. The guests laugh. No, really. There’s a thing about being ShawnMR, you’re nothing short of a few freeloaders, like yourselves, to fill up your forums with. So here’s to you. Ozymandias, a member of the Box Office Enterprises board of directors approaches. Ozymandias: That’s enough. ShawnMR: I’m not finished. To all of you. All of you phonies. All of you two-faced friends, you sycophantic suck ups who smile through your teeth at me. Please…leave me in peace. Please go. Stop smiling, it’s not a joke. Please leave. The party’s over, log off. Ozymandias: The apple has fallen very fall from the tree, Mister Shawn. All the guests log off and leave. Only Baumer and a few of his lackeys remain, indicating the threat. Baumer: Amusing, but pointless. None of these people have long to live. Your antics at the Amazing Spider-Man 2 thread have forced my hand. ShawnMR: So iJack was working for you. Baumer: Yes, he had a ban bet with me months ago and owed me since he never sent me some DVDs. His film that he championed was so mediocre that we were able to weaponize it. ShawnMR: He’s not a member of the league of Box Office Theory? Baumer: Of course not. He thought our plan was to hold the website to ransom. ShawnMR: But you are gonna release iJack’s movie to the entire forums… Baumer: Then watch Box Office Forums tear itself through fear. ShawnMR: You’re gonna destroy thousands of people’s e-lives. Baumer: Only a cynical person calls what these people have ‘lives,’ Shawn. Trolling. Despair. This is not the way the internet is supposed to work. The League of Box Office Theory has been a check against human box office corruption for years. We sacked World of KJ. Loaded IMDB forums with idiots. Burned Showbizdata to the ground. Everytime a box office website reaches the pinnacle of its decadence we return to restore the balance. ShawnMR: Box Office Forums isn’t beyond saving. Give me more time. There are good people here. Baumer: You are talking a forum so corrupt we have infiltrated every level of its infrastructure. At the Amazing Spider-Man 2 thread where iJack has become an inmate of his own thread, a member of the League of Box Office Theory is breaking everybody out…including iJack. DeeCee: Time to play. Baumer continues to talk to ShawnMR, as they prep to burn Box Office Manor to the ground Baumer: When I found you on the IMDB forums, you were lost. But I believed in you. I took away your fear, and I showed you a path. You were my greatest student. It should be you by my side, saving Box Office. ShawnMR: I’ll be standing where I belong, between you and the people of Box Office Forums. Baumer: No one can save Box Office Forums. When a forest grows too wild, a purging fire is inevitable and natural. Tomorrow, the internet will watch in horror as the internet’s greatest box office site will destroy itself. The movement back to harmony will be unstoppable this time. BoxOfficeTheory ninjas begin deleting BoxOfficeManor… ShawnMR: You attacked the Box Office community before? Baumer: Of course. Over the ages, our weapons have become more sophisticated. With this community, we tried a new one. Economics. Baumer refers to the buying out of BoxOfficeMojo and closing down the forums. But we underestimated certain members of your community…such as Brandon Gray. Banned by by the very people he was trying to help. Create enough desperation and everyone becomes a troller. Their bannings galvanized the community into creating a new forum and the community has limped on ever since. We are back to finish the job. And this time, no misguided idealist will get in our way. Like Brandon Gray, you lack the courage to do all that is necessary. If someone stands in the way of true box office, you simply go up to them and ban them from the forums. ShawnMR realizes someone is behind him and he takes him out, before engaging Baumer. Baumer is still well versed in combat however. ShawnMR: I am gonna stop you. Baumer: You never did learn to mind your surroundings. Baumer knocks ShawnMR into a thread where he becomes trapped. Baumer: Justice is balance. You left me in my forum for dead. Consider us even. Baumer exits Box Office Manor and motions for guards to keep an eye on the section of the forums. Baumer: No one comes out, make sure. ----------------------------------------------------- At the Amazing Spider-Man 2 > 1 billion thread, all the inmates have been freed. Movieman and his 20 billion alts. iJack. Sheldon Cooper. Maverik. The mods are scrambling to gather them all up. Redfirebird: They’re all gone? How many from maximum security? CoolioD1: Every one of them. Trollers, sock puppets, people who post porn. Redfirebird: Close off the Box Office Clubs section. We don’t want anybody getting out of that section. CoolioD1: Yeah I’ll close the section off, when I get every mod in here to catch the maniacs that are running loose out there! Outside Box Office Manor which is slowly being deleted, a member of the League of Box Office Theory watches. Accursed Arachnid returns and knocks him out. He goes inside to discover ShawnMR trapped and unresponsive. Accursed Arachnid: Master Shawn! Master Shawn! ShawnMR is unable to free himself, even with the help of Accursed Arachnid. Accursed Arachnid: What’s the point of all that training if you can’t even free yourself from this thread? Using the words as motivation, ShawnMR frees himself. They quickly escape to the Bat Cave section of the forums as Box Office Manor is deleted and completely taken out. ShawnMR is hurt and mentally defeated. ShawnMR: What have I done, Arachnid? Everything Brandon Gray built… Accursed Arachnid: His legacy is more than just Box Office Manor, sir. ShawnMR: I wanted to save Box Office. I failed. Accursed Arachnid: Why do we fall sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. ShawnMR (smiles): Still haven’t given up on me? Accursed Arachnid: (Nevah) TO BE CONTINUED Post. Of. The. Year. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baumer Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I agree. It's the best chapter yet. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mango Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I don't think I can give as many complements as this deserves. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Gittes Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 This is just beautiful. Got even better when I began to read all of Baumer's lines in Liam Neeson's voice. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPink Posted February 13, 2014 Author Share Posted February 13, 2014 The R'as Al Ghul monologues were some of the things I was looking forward to the most in regards to transposing it with Box Office terms. Giggled with glee when I got to add in Showbizdata. I still don't know what happened to that site. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Founder / Operator Shawn Robbins Posted February 13, 2014 Founder / Operator Share Posted February 13, 2014 The R'as Al Ghul monologues were some of the things I was looking forward to the most in regards to transposing it with Box Office terms. Giggled with glee when I got to add in Showbizdata. I still don't know what happened to that site. Wow. What a reference. I'm not even sure many around here would remember that site at this point. I still remember following Mission: Impossible 2's opening days like a hawk on that site. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPink Posted February 14, 2014 Author Share Posted February 14, 2014 Wow. What a reference. I'm not even sure many around here would remember that site at this point. I still remember following Mission: Impossible 2's opening days like a hawk on that site. Do you reflect back on those days and wonder why you were so invested in MI2's numbers? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narniadis Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Showbiz was the it place for so long then it just up and faded into obscurity 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPink Posted February 18, 2014 Author Share Posted February 18, 2014 (edited) Welcome to the FINAL part of Box Office Begins. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I know I said I'd do it in 10 parts, but I realized it wasn't necessary. Again, likes, comments, suggestions will be appreciated, especially as we begin the Dark Box Office Knight soon! Thank you for all your kind words! The Box Office Club section is in disarray as all the suspended posters have been broken out of the Amazing Spider-Man 2 > 1 billion thread. Mods are out there in full force trying to rally them all up, including CoolioD1 and Redfirebird. Some of their tactics are….questionable. Rukaio101: Harassment! I see harassment! CoolioD1: Well maybe you’d like to see some excessive force… Rukaio101: God damn madman Rukaio101 leaves because of Coolio’s threats. Meanwhile, ECSTASY has awoken and made her way to the Box Office Clubs area to meet up with Redfirebird. She is stopped by a mod. Totem: We’re about to close off the section, ma’am. ECSTASY: I’m a Box Office Forums District Attorney, let me pass. Totem reluctantly lets her though, and she sees Redfirebird trying to contain the situation. Acsc1312: Hey Redfirebird, somebody here to see you. Redfirebird: What are you doing here? ECSTASY: Our friend sent me with this. She holds the registry fix. It counteracts iJack’s toxic film. Hopefully you won’t need it. Redfirebird: Not unless he’s got some way of getting that movie streamed across the internet. A group of Box Office Theory members dressed as mods are making their way in. The corruption of these forums is evident everywhere. Totem: All right, last one through. Redfirebird: ECSTASY, we better get you out of here before they close off the Box Office Club section. A lost Tarzan is also wandering the Box Office Clubs. Why he’s all alone? Who the heck knows. He approaches what he thinks is a mod, but is actually a member of the League of Box Office Theory. Tarzan: I can’t find my mom. The mod ignores him and pushes him aside. ECSTASY approaches the two despite the fact that she should really be getting away from the Box Office Clubs. ECSTASY: Hey! What do you think you’re doing? The mod just stares and points at them. Whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean. ECSTASY notices a device however with Baumer standing next to them. Baumer: Gentlemen...it’s time to spread the word. And the word is…panic. They activate the streamer, and suddenly the Box Office Clubs section goes into a mass frenzy. The number of page hits going through Box Office Clubs spikes immediately. Mango: Jesus, the number of page views, it’s spiking! Look, right there! It’s right under the Box Office Clubs section! All the members in the Box Office Clubs section are suddenly going crazy. The Amazing Spider-Man truly puts people in a mad rage. ECSTASY is immune to it however thanks to the registry fix. So is Redfirebird. He notices the panic all around him while Commissioner John Marston messages in to see what’s going on. John Marston: This is Commissioner Marston. Come on…somebody talk to me! Come on! Redfirebird: Commissioner Marston, this is Redfirebird. John Marston: What the hell is going on? Redfirebird: We need reinforcements, tac teams, SWAT, riot mods! John Marston: Redfirebird! All the city’s riot police are in the section with you. Redfirebird: Well they’re completely incapacitated! ECSTASY is keep watch over Tarzan. Tarzan is scared, so ECSTASY has no choice but to coddle the young Joffrey in waiting. ECSTASY: It’s okay. It’s okay. Nobody is going to hurt you. Suddenly iJackSparrow bursts in. iJack: Of course they are! ECSTASY: iJack? iJack: No…iJackSPARROW ---------------------------------------------------- The scene returns to Commissioner Marston and Redfirebird. John Marston: Redfirebird…there’s no nobody left to save the forums. The Box Office Mobile App zooms through into the Box Office Section. BoxOfficeMan has arrived. Redfirebird: So I’m on my own? (Still talking to Marston) BoxOfficeMan exits the mobile app and approaches Redfirebird BoxOfficeMan: The Box Office Clubs section is tearing itself into pieces. This is just the beginning. If they hit the whole forums, there’s nothing to stop the forums tearing itself apart. Redfirebird: How are they gonna do that? BoxOfficeMan: BoxOfficeEnterprises. There, they can stream the entire movie across the forums. If the streamer gets there, it’ll cause a reaction that will vaporize the Box Office firewalls. Redfirebird: Covering Box Office Forums in all this poison. BoxOfficeMan: I’m gonna stop him from getting there, but I may need your help. Redfirebird: What do you need? BoxOfficeMan: Can you control the mobile app? iJack, ECSTASY, and Tarzan are all playing a little bit of hide and seek but iJack locates them. iJack: There you are! There is nothing to fear….but fear itself! ECSTASY uses a device to shock him, and iJack quickly retreats. ECSTASY however realizes they’re not alone. Several people are approaching them, including MovieMan from earlier. He’s psychotic and dangerous. ECSTASY grabs a banning device and prepares to take him out if necessary to protect young Joffrey *cough* Tarzan. Tarzan: BoxOficeMan will save us. He’ll come. ECSTASY: Don’t look. Just before she bans MovieMan, BoxOfficeMan appears out of nowhere to take him out and the others that were with him. Redfirebird begins to take control of the mobile app, but he’ll need Commissioner Marston to open up the forums so he can get to BoxOfficeEnterprises. Redfirebird: This is Redfirebird. Prepare to open up the forums. BoxOfficeMan has made quick work of all the thugs. ShawnMR doesn’t want to stay, he knows he has a job to do and doesn’t want to reveal himself to ECSTASY. He prepares to leave. Tarzan: I told you he’d come. ECSTASY: Wait! You could get banned. At least tell me your name. BoxOfficeMan: It’s not who I am behind the computer monitor. But what I do, that defines me. ECSTASY: Shawn? Shawn flies off to another thread to find Baumer. As posters watch from above, they shriek in fear. Everybody fears the BoxOfficeMan, especially under Amazing Spider-Man scare poison. Baumer notices the disruption in the distance when BoxOfficeMan approaches. Baumer: Well well, it looks like you took my advice about theatricality and deception a bit…literally. BoxOfficeMan: It ends here. Baumer: For you and the mods maybe. My fight however, lies with the rest of the Box Office Forums. Now if you excuse me, I have a website to destroy. BoxOfficeMan: I can’t beat two of your pawns? Baumer: As you wish. Two more posters appear and engage Shawn. Baumer goes into an app that will take him to BoxOfficeEnterprises. BoxOfficeMan engages with the four posters in a box office battle. They drop from one page to another however, which causes BoxOfficeMan and the others to be surrounded by plenty of freaked out posters. He takes them down still relativel easily and manages to escape the Box Office Clubs section on to the app that Baumer is using to transport his streamer to BoxOfficeEnterprises. It is now steadily making its way there. With Redfirebird, the forums open up and he zooms by on the Box Office Mobile App and makes his way to BoxOfficeEnterprises. The techs at BoxOfficeEnterprises are getting increasingly worried. Mango: The pressure is moving along the servers. If that pressure reaches us, then the whole forum is gonna blow! BoxOfficeMan crashes through the app and approaches Baumer. Baumer is terrified. Why won’t he give up? Baumer: You will never learn. BoxOfficeMan and Baumer engage in battle. Baumer is switching styles to aggressively fight him off…Baumer doesn’t need to defeat BoxOfficeMan, just delay him long enough. Clearly, Shawn has gotten better at engaging in box office battle, but he’s still able to get a read on him. Baumer: Familiar! Haven’t you learned anything new? BoxOfficeMan: HOW ABOUT THIS?! Shawn breaks his banning weapon to even the odds. Baumer continues the fight even without it. His training means to never be afraid, and to never back down. Shawn and Baumer continue to engage and unbeknownst to Baumer, Shawn has set up the app to go full speed ahead. Meanwhile, Redfirebird has reached BoxOfficeEnterprises and begins to activate the functions of the Mobile App so he can take down the server that links Baumer’s app to Box Office Enterprises. The techs at BoxOfficeEnterprises are still freaking out. Mango: Evacuate the area! We’re on top of the main server, and it’s gonna blow! The fight with Baumer is not going so well for Shawn.Baumer has him pinned as Shawn struggles to escape for his vice. Baumer: Don’t be afraid Shawn. You are just an ordinary man with an avatar. That’s why you couldn’t fight box office injustice, and that’s why you can’t stop this app. ShawnMR: Who said anything about stopping it? Redfirebird has fired away at the server and finally it goes down. The server that links the app to the forums goes down. Baumer looks ahead and realizes that he’s lost. They won’t be able to reach BoxOfficeEnterprises and the forums won’t be completely obliterated in the process. Shawn is able to escape from Baumer and then pins him down. ShawnMR: You never learned to mind your surroundings! Baumer: Have you finally learned to do what is necessary? ShawnMR: I won’t ban you. But I don’t have to save you. ShawnMR escapes from the app. Baumer gracefully logs out, realizing his banning is imminent. The app runs into a disconnection error and it explodes, permanently ending the threat of the streamer and the Amazing Spider-Man. Redfirebird sees the BoxOfficeMan gliding over the forums. He gives a quick wave, waiting for him to reclaim his mobile app. ------------------------------------------------- The day after, Gitesh Pandya is entering BoxOfficeEnterprises for another day at the office. LadyEvenstar22, his secretary is waiting for him, a bit nervous. LadyEvenstar22: I’m sorry sir, the meeting has already started. Gitesh Pandya: What. Meeting? They enter the meeting where Gitesh sees RTH handing papers to the board of directors. Gitesh Pandya: RTH? I seem to remember firing you. RTH: You did. I got another job. Yours. Gitesh Pandya: On whose authority? The scene cuts to Accursed Arachnid and ShawnMR, as Shawn reads the headline news on the website. Accursed Arachnid: BoxOfficeMan may have made the top of page, but ShawnMR got pushed to the bottom. The article reads ‘DRUNKEN BILLIONAIRE BURNS DOWN BOX OFFICE MANOR.’ Shawn is moderately concerned but before he can dwell on that further, he is contacted by Gitesh Pandya. ShawnMR: ShawnMR. Gitesh Pandya: What makes you think you can decide who’s running Box Office Enterprises? ShawnMR: The fact that I’m the owner. Gitesh Pandya: What are you talking about? The website went public a week ago. ShawnMR: And I bought most of the shares. Through various charitable foundations and trust funds and so forth. Look, it’s all a bit technical. But the important thing is that my website’s future is safe. Isn’t that right Mr. RTH? RTH: Right you are, Mr. Shawn. Didn’t you get the memo? ---------------------------------------------------- At BoxOfficeManor, Shawn is taking a look at the aftermath. This section of the forums has pretty much been deleted and destroyed, but he intends to rebuild it. ECSTASY approaches him. Shawn has a twinge of guilt that he didn’t tell her. He goes to apologize. ShawnMR: I’m sorry I didn’t tell you , ECSTASY. ECSTASY: No, no, Shawn, I’m sorry. The day that Subers was banned…I said terrible things. ShawnMR: But true things. I was a coward who wanted to ban him. And justice is about more than revenge so thank you. ECSTASY: I never stopped thinking about you. About us. And when I heard you were back…I started to hope. But then I found out about your avatar. ShawnMR: BoxOfficeMan is just a symbol, ECSTASY. ECSTASY: No this…(she refers to ShawnMR), is your avatar. Your real face is the one that box office posters now fear. The man I grew up with, the man who vanished…he never came back at all. But maybe he’s still out there somewhere. Maybe someday, when the forums no longer needs Box Office Man, I’ll see him again. Shawn and ECSTASY nod (no kissing for awkwardness!) and give each other likes. Shawn is slightly disappointed that their friendship isn’t quite the same, but he understands. That’s part of the sacrifice he made. ECSTASY: Proved me wrong, you know? ShawnMR: About what? ECSTASY: Brandon Gray would be proud of you. Just like me. They continue observing BoxOfficeManor as they assess the damage. ECSTASY: What will you do? ShawnMR: Rebuild it. Just the way it was, page by page. ECSTASY smiles and leaves. Accursed Arachnid then goes up to Shawn. Accursed Arachnid: Just the way it was sir? ShawnMR: Yeah, why? Accursed Arachnid: I thought this might be a good opportunity to…rebuild the foundations. ShawnMR: In the section leading to the Bat Cave? Accursed Arachnid: Precisely, sir. ------------------------------------------- Redfirebird and BoxOfficeMan are at the Mod headquarters. They’ve put up the Box Office signal, which displays an image of Zack Galifinakis anytime he is needed. BoxOfficeMan: Nice. Redfirebird: I couldn’t find another drunk Nikke. BoxOfficeMan: Well, Sergeant? Redfirebird: It’s actually Lieutenant now. You really started something. Bent mods running scared. Hope on the forums. BoxOfficeMan: But? Redfirebird: The BoxOfficeClubs is lost. And we still haven’t picked up iJack or the billion other MovieMan sock puppets out there. BoxOfficeMan: We will. We can bring Box Office back. Redfirebird: What about escalation? BoxOfficeMan: Escalation? Redfirebird: We start using handing out warning points, they start using pornography. We start using spam filters, they start using better spam bots. BoxOfficeMan: And? Redfirebird: You’re using an avatar and jumping across forum threads. Now take this guy, armed robbery of likes, double banning homicide. Has a taste for the theatrics, like you. Leaves a calling card. BoxOfficeMan flips the card around to reveal the avatar… BoxOfficeMan: I’ll look into it. Redfirebird: I never said thank you. BoxOfficeMan: And you’ll never have to. He jumps off the thread and begins to fly around Box Office Forums, for the night is still young. The movie cuts to black. BOX OFFICE BEGINS Written by MrPink Story by Christopher Nolan and some hack named David Goyer Cast (In Order of Appearance): ShawnMR ECSTASY Mattrek Algren Baumer Brandon Gray Accursed Arachnid Ray Subers Redfirebird John Marston Gitesh Pandya Water Bottle Vanilla Nikke Finke The Stingray Bluebomb iJackSparrow The Panda Ozymandias LadyEvenstar RTH CoolioD1 Mattmav45 House Cozmees of Everdeen Grim22 Tarzan Spidey Freak Totem Jajang Acsc1312 MrPink Rukaio101 Mango Edited February 18, 2014 by MrPink 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rukaio101 Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Whooo! I got a bit part! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
narniadis Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Awesome awesome awesome - can't wait for the next set 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mango Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Bravo. This whole thing has been awesome. Really looking forward to the next installment. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grim22 Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 I hope you do a Katie Holmes - Maggie Gyllenhaal switch for the second movie, and maybe even make a winking comment on it. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPink Posted February 18, 2014 Author Share Posted February 18, 2014 I hope you do a Katie Holmes - Maggie Gyllenhaal switch for the second movie, and maybe even make a winking comment on it. I'm probably going to do it, I just need to find out who's gonna be Maggie Gyllenhaal... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
