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BoxOffice Begins (FINAL PART UP!!! (2/17)). The Beginning is Complete

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I can't wait for BKB Bane.Shawn: "Why didn't you just perma-ban me?"BKB: Your trolling must be more severe.

 

'Perhaps he was wondering why you would ban a guy, before throwing him out of a thread.'

 

Starting Part 6 now. I may not finish it tonight unfortunately.

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Numbers, I'm gonna need your help on casting a very important role (It rhymes with Don Maggot)

 

 

sweet!! I would like a role at some point - not picky.... :)

 

I'll fit you in somewhere, no worries.

Edited by MrPink
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Will be kind of a tough one, since we need an anti-Nolan and/or anti-authority member of the site who is like a Act 1 Boss in the trolling, initially seen as formidable but ultimately surpassed handily by more committed trollers.Or we could go with a general malcontent standby like LonePirate or Halba.

Edited by 4815162342
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Part 6! It's a bit shorter than what I was hoping to do, but it's late, and I think this is a suitable stopping point. Enjoy. Please don't murder for me for not being able to come up with something better for falafel. It's too classic to change. Also, this does feature some visual aids, so please click the spoilers. I will use some occasional song and visual aids when it calls for it.

 

-----------------------------------------------

 

While Box Office Man has just changed Box Office…forever, ECSTASY ventures an empty thread, alone. Two posters suddenly appear though, with the intent to harm. ECSTASY sharply attacks one, but behind her, she does not realize that Box Office Man is there, taking down the other poster.

 

ECSTASY: That’s right, you better leave!

 

She turns around and peeks at the thread only to realize that the other poster has been beat down by Box Office. Unaware of whom he is, she attacks him, but her attack is ineffective.

 

BoxOfficeMan: Finke sent them to ban you.

 

ECSTASY: Why?

 

BoxOfficeMan: You rattled her cage.

 

BoxOfficeMan then provides some photographic proof of Vanilla taking bribes to keep posters from the banhammer. (Sorry, sexually explicit photos might be unfair to Vanilla!)

 

ECSTASY: What’s this?

 

BoxOfficeMan: Leverage.

 

ECSTASY: For what?

 

BoxOfficeMan: To get things moving.

 

ECSTASY: Who are you?

 

BoxOfficeMan: Someone like you. Some who’ll rattle the cages.

 

ECSTASY briefly glances away from the thread but when she returns to look, BoxOfficeMan is already gone. A moderator appears having noticed a disturbance. Everything is safe again.

 

---------------------------------------------------------

 

Redfirebird and other mods are at the Deadline Docks, witnessing the aftermath of Finke’s apprehending. Redfirebird has only just arrived at the scene of the crime and sees some of Finke’s goons.

 

Redfirebird: Finke’s men? We’ll never tie it to her anyway.

 

Junior Mod: I wouldn’t be so sure of that.

 

He takes a look and sees that Nikke Finke has been put on display on the website, but the shape that she represented on the site was something else…it was…

 

Redfirebird: What the hell is that?

 

Posted Image

 

 

Redfirebird: Take her down.

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

The scene cuts to John Marston along with Redfirebird and other mods at a meeting discussing the previous night’s events.

 

John Marston: Unacceptable. Now I don’t care if it’s rival DC/Marvel fans, Frozenites, or the god damn grammar police. Get them off policing the forums, and off the front webpage.

 

Random Mod: They say it was one poster...or a creature.

 

Random Mod 2: It was some asshole with a fancy avatar.

 

Redfirebird then gets Commissioner Marston’s attention

 

Redfirebird: This guy did deliver us one of the internet’s biggest crime lords.

 

John Marston: No one takes the law into their own hands on my internet…understand?

 

Meanwhile at the internet DA’s office, Water Bottle and ECSTASY are discussing the big news.

 

ECSTASY: There’s no way to bury it now.

 

Water Bottle: There’s still Judge Vanilla

 

ECSTASY: I’ve got Vanilla covered.

 

Water Bottle: What about this BoxOfficeMan they babble about?

 

ECSTASY: Even if these guys swear to being thrashed by this BoxOfficeMan, we’ve got Finke at the

scene. Pirated copies, manifests, this BoxOffice character gave us everything.

 

 

Water Bottle: Okay, let’s do it.

 

----------------------------------------------------------

 

Meanwhile, ShawnMR is still resting from last night’s events. Accursed Arachnid gets him to log back in.

 

ShawnMR: Box office is nocturnal!

 

Accursed Arachnid: The numbers may come overnight, but even for a millionaire website owner, 3:00 is pushing it. The price for leading a double life I fear. Your theatrics however, made an impression.

 

ShawnMR takes a look at the front page of BoxOffice and sees the headline news.

 

ShawnMR: Theatricality and deception are powerful weapons Arachnid, this is a good start.

 

ShawnMR begins practicing typing, for another night of work. His job is never finished. Arachnid notices the blisters are on his fingers.

 

Accursed Arachnid: If those are to be the first of many injuries to come, it would be wise to find a suitable excuse. Typing about polo for instance.

 

ShawnMR: I’m not talking about Polo, Arachnid.

 

Accursed Arachnid: Strange injuries, a non existent second life…these things beg to question as to what ShawnMR does with his time and money.

 

ShawnMR: What does someone like me do?

 

Accursed Arachnid: Talk about sports cars, talk with movie stars. Buy things that aren’t for sale. Who knows Master Shawn, you start pretending to have fun, you might even have a little by accident.

 

At Box Office Enterprises, Gitesh Pandya is sitting in his office when his assistant arrives

 

Assistant: Sir, we have a situation. The moderators picked up one of our .zip files yesterday. Heavily corrupted, all crew associated with it missing. Presumably banned. The file was carrying a prototype program. It’s a movie emitter. It’s designed for internet warfare but it looks like somebody…turned it on. It displays movies across websites and to vaporize the good movie supply. The damage to the file was catastrophic. The program itself is…

 

Gitesh Pandya: Missing?

 

Assistant: Yeah.

 

-------------------------------------------

 

ShawnMR is seen arriving at a grand website with a couple women, only meant for the high society of internet folk. A valet comes to take his app that transported him to the website.

 

Valet: Nice app.

 

ShawnMR: You should see my other one.

 

ShawnMR is now with a bunch of socialites including Gitesh Pandya as they discuss the BoxOfficeMan.

 

House Cozmees of Everdeen: He’s done something the mods never have.

 

Mattmav45: You can’t take the law into your own hands

 

House Cozmees of Everdeen: Well at least he’s getting something done.

 

Mattmav45: Shawn, help me out here.

 

ShawnMR: Huh? Well a guy who has a Zack Galifianakis avatar clearly has issues.

 

House Cozmees of Everdeen: But he’s put Finke in suspension.

 

Mattmav45: Now the mods want him, what does that tell you?

 

House Cozmees of Everdeen: They’re jealous.

 

Now the girls are messing around with the website. One of the administrators comes over to ShawnMR.

 

Administrator: Sir, this part of the website is for decoration and your friends are messing with it.

 

ShawnMR: Well, they’re European.

 

Administrator: I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

 

ShawnMR begins to pull out his checkbook, writing a large number.

 

Administrator: It’s not a question of money.

 

ShawnMR: Well you see, I’m buying this website and setting some new rules about this part of the website.

 

House Cozmees of Everdeen: I think the BoxOfficeMan deserves a medal.

 

Gitesh Pandya: And a suspended tag to put it next to.

 

ShawnMR is now leaving the website to get his app when he encounters ECSTASY

 

ECSTASY: Shawn?

 

ShawnMR: ECSTASY?

 

ECSTASY: I heard you were back. What are you doing?

 

ShawnMR: Oh just….socializing. Wow, it is good to see you.

 

ECSTASY: You were gone a long time.

 

ShawnMR: I know, how are things?

 

ECSTASY: The same. Job’s getting worse.

 

ShawnMR: Can’t…change the internet all on your own.

 

ECSTASY: What choice do I have when you’re too busy socializing?

 

ShawnMR: ECSTASY, all of this…all this...it’s not…it’s not me. It’s…inside…I am…I am more.

 

ECSTASY: Shawn, deep down, you may still be that great kid you used to be, but it’s not who you

are underneath. It’s what you do that defines you.

 

----------------------------------------------

 

At the Banned/Suspended thread, Finke awaits trial. iJack goes to meet Finke for a psychology test.

 

Woman: Dr. iJack? Thanks for coming.

 

iJack: Not at all. She try posting porn?

 

Woman: Probably looking for the insanity plea. But if anything should happen…

 

iJack: Of course, better to be safe than sorry.

 

He walks in to see Nikke Finke, clearly not insane, but not enjoying the current conditions.

 

Nikke Finke (with sarcastic tone): Yeah, Dr. iJack, I can’t take it anymore. It’s all too much. The walls are closing in, blah, blah, blah. A couple days with these sorry posters, and it’ll be true.

 

iJack: What do you want?

 

Nikke Finke: I wanna know how you’re gonna convince me to keep my mouth shut.

 

iJack: About what? You don’t know anything.

 

Nikke Finke: I know you don’t want the mods to take a closer look at the pirated copies they

received. And I know about your experiments with the inmates at the Amazing Spider-Man 2 thread. See I don’t go into business with a guy without finding out his secrets. And those goons you used…I own the muscle in this internet. Now I’ve been bringing this stuff in for months. So whatever he’s planning, it’s big, and I want in.

 

iJack: Well, I already know what he’ll say. That we should ban you.

 

Nikke Finke: Even he can’t get me here. Not on my internet.

 

With a resigned look…

 

iJack: Would you like to see my mask?

 

Posted Image

 

I use it in my experiments. Now I’m probably not very frightening to a woman like you. But these crazies, they can’t stand it.

 

Nikke Finke: So when did da nut take over da nut house?

 

Suddenly iJack sprays a non-lethal dose of the Amazing Spider-Man, and Finke goes insane.

 

Nikke Finke: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

iJack: They scream and they cry, much as you’re doing now.

 

Nikke Finke: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

The next shot cuts to iJack leaving the thread, talking with the woman again.

 

iJack: Well she’s not faking, not that one. I’ll talk to the judge and see if I can get her moved to the secure wing at the Amazing Spider-Man thread. I can’t treat him here.

 

-----------------------------------------------

 

Redfirebird is with his family when he notices the BoxOfficeMan waiting  for him.

 

BoxOfficeMan: Storm’s coming.

 

Redfirebird: The scum is getting jumpy because you stood up to Finke.

 

BoxOfficeMan: It’s a start. Your partner was with Finke at Deadline.

 

Redfirebird: Well he moonlights as a low level enforcer.

 

BoxOfficeMan: They were splitting the pirated copies in two, only half went to the dealers.

 

Redfirebird: Why, what about the other half?

 

BoxOfficeMan: CoolioD1 knows.

 

Redfirebird:  He won’t talk.

 

BoxOfficeMan: He’ll talk to me.

 

Redfirebird: Commissioner Marston set a task force to catch you. He thinks you’re dangerous.

 

BoxOfficeMan: What do you think?

 

Redfirebird: I think you’re trying to help.

 

He looks away while he says that, but when he turns back to the thread, BoxOfficeMan is gone.

 

Redfirebird: But I’ve been wrong before.

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

Coolio is making his collections from various website that he uses for blackmail. He is at a falafel recipe website, owned by Grim22.

 

CoolioD1: Come on, I ain’t got all night.

 

Coolio takes the new recipe and also siphons some donation money used to keep the website going.

 

Grim22: Coolio, I have kids to feed.

 

CoolioD1: What, they don’t like falafel?!

 

Coolio leaves, laughing at his own corny joke. Suddenly, he is snatched by BoxOfficeMan and finds himself face to face with him, but unable to really argue back.

 

BoxOfficeMan: WHERE WERE THE OTHER PIRATED COPIES GOING?!

 

CoolioD1: I never knew, I don’t know! I swear to God!

 

BoxOfficeMan: SWEAR TO ME

 

BoxOfficeMan lets him down, and quickly brings him back up again. Clearly, Coolio is terrified by

his high pitched squeals.

 

CoolioD1: I don’t know, I never knew. Never. They went to some guy for a couple days before they went to the dealers.

 

BoxOfficeMan: Why?

 

CoolioD1: There was something…something else in the movies. Something hidden.

 

BoxOfficeMan: What?

 

CoolioD1: I never went to the drop off point, it was in the Box Office  Clubs section, mods only go there in force.

 

BoxOfficeMan: DO I LOOK LIKE A MOD?

 

Coolio is let go and he is left to rue the day BoxOfficeMan came into ‘town’ so to speak.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

Edited by MrPink
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Will be kind of a tough one, since we need an anti-Nolan and/or anti-authority member of the site who is like a Act 1 Boss in the trolling, initially seen as formidable but ultimately surpassed handily by more committed trollers.Or we could go with a general malcontent standby like LonePirate or Halba.

 

Did you guys seriously forget BKB?  Or is he absolutely going to be Bane?

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Fantastic Mr. Pink.  Unbelievable.  I can hear Alfred talking through AA.  It's so awesome, funny, hilarious actually.  

 

I love this thread!

Edited by Christmas baumer
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