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Rukaio's Reviews (Take Two)

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Let's start off Q3 then! Here's July's reviews. As usual, I'm not reviewing any of my own flicks.

 

American Gods- C

 

Can’t give more than a C for a Wiki C&P. Thems the rules.

 

Kill Them- D-

 

Why did the bad guys want to kidnap Polly’s child? How come Polly is strong enough to kill the bad guys? If her child has apparently been kidnapped, why wouldn’t the principal let Polly check the CCTV footage? There’s a missing child and the police are doing nothing because ‘there’s no evidence’? Did Polly just bend a steel bar by herself? Seriously?

 

To quote Batman Forever, it just raises too many questions.

 

Remember Me- B-/C+

 

The storyline is a bit confused and there are some very odd bumps in pacing, but it’s still an interesting story with decent direction.

 

Uncharted 2- A-

 

Surprisingly fun Indiana Jones-esque adventure flick. The story does drag a bit towards the end, but it doesn’t detract from the film too much for me.

 

The Immune Permanence- B

 

Enjoyable but forgettable sequel.

 

Midnight in the Afghan Village- B-/C+

 

This film feels a bit confused to me. The first half is spent setting up the villagers as the cliché barbaric Muslims (with a quite a few Unfortunate Implications abound) then the second half tries to convince us to feel appalled when they’re unnecessarily gunned down. In addition, the lack of any real exploration into why the atrocity was committed also hurt the film, making the event feel more like an attempt to push the ‘war is hell’ message than an actual event. That said, the film does a decent job into diving into the psyche of its main characters and the second half is well written and shot.

 

Then again, I’m not much of a fan of Hurt Locker-esque films anyway. 

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Here comes August!

 

The Who's Tommy- B

 

After a very solid start and decent middle, the film goes off the rails quite a bit in the final third (seriously, how do you get that popular playing pinball?) but the songs are still catchy. Also, you used David Tennant (at least, I assume that's who you meant by David Tennat) for the physically/sexually abusive uncle? For shame...

 

Feed- B+

 

A Zombie movie set during a Republican presidential campaign? I'll give you credit, I don't think that's been done before. And honestly, it actually mixes the political thriller with the horror surprisingly well. I also like the idea of a world where a zombie virus is treated more like an actual virus and is often easily contained, compared to most movies where it makes an instant apocalypse.  That said, it could've done with exploring the ramifications a bit more, but it's still a solid bit of entertainment.

 

Madel- D

 

Well... that happened. Okay, unlikable bitch gets a lung disease from being stupid and smoking, wastes the money her parents spend by continuing to smoke and do drugs, assumes, with no evidence whatsoever, that pharmacist guy must've murdered her parents because he threatened them once and brutally murders him and steals his lungs. Yey?

 

The Gold Rare Leaf- D-

 

My god, the animation in this was awful. Seriously, a $31m budget? Most computer-animated films have at least around $100m budgets (and if it was traditional animation, you needed to have stated it). Add that to a story that even two-year olds would consider too simplistic and you're better off with Catch the Pigeon or HDH.

 

Identity Crisis- F

 

I-I don't even.... What...?

 

Resonance- A-

 

Interesting mindfuck with a strong lead performance from Liam Neeson

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Well, it's not just pinball. It's his ability to play it despite being "deaf, dumb and blind." Having said that, Tommy is supposed to be kind of weird, so I've been preparing myself for more mixed reviews. Hopefully I can get it some tech nods, at least.

 

Glad you liked it overall, though.

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And here comes September. Ironically, I've finished before anyone else even started their reviews.

 

Killer Computer 2- D-

 

John Gulager has some serious issues he needs to work out. And seeing this in IMAX 3D was a horrible horrible mistake.

 

Cinema Studies- B

 

An interesting school drama about a group of film fans. The dialogue is well written and the acting and directing is both great. The only issues I have with the film is that the second act really meanders and the third act resolves itself much too quickly. It really feels like many of the events in the third act should've happened in the second and then the third spent really exploring and resolving them. Also, while I accept that in a film called 'Cinema Studies', there's going to be a lot of talking about films, I think they really overdid it the first two acts with the reference, many of which feel unnecessary and there for the sake of referencing them. It gets a lot better in the third act though.

 

However, don't let all my negative talk fool you, I actually really enjoyed the film. I just think it had issues. 

 

The Valley- C-

 

Generic found footage movie. Nothing worthwhile to be found here.

 

 

 

Anyway, now that's done, I'm considering doing an impartial review of all the films I've released this year. (The Good The Bad and The Dead, Redwall, Run&Gun, Dresden Files, Patchwork, Romeo vs Juliet, Catch That Pigeon and Death Note (not Time Space and One Blue Box, since I don't really care about that)) So I may do that in a few days.

Edited by rukaio101
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Funny that you liked the film I essentially disowned more than my more serious film attempts this year.  :lol:

 

Still glad you liked CS.

To be fair, I've noticed most of your films tend to score higher with me than usual. The Academy and a Love to Die For are still my favourites of the year, so far.

 

I'd be interested in hearing which of your film attempts this year were more serious though.

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By more serious, I mean putting more weight behind. Tommy and Cinema Studies were semi-oscar contenders for me, and HDH was my big animated film, but I might put the most effort in my Gus Van Sant family drama.

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Here comes October. Hollywood Nerd doesn't have anything typed up (and I doubt it will) so I haven't reviewed it.

 

The Garden- C

 

It’s like Alice in Wonderland, except without anything to make it interesting. It wasn't awful, but it plays things too simplistically to make it stand out.

 

Donuts are Zombies Too along with the Dominant Walrus’s- F

 

See my review in my old review thread. (Ignore the RNG stuff) It’s still not funny though.

 

The Innocent- D

 

Would people in 1960’s Alabama really sentence someone to 15 years for stealing a small bit of food and £20? Also, if this is taking place in Alabama, why are they using £’s? How come Mia’s family is now completely fine after she’s been released from prison? She had to steal money and food for them, but now they can afford a car? Also, Joseph is now a prison warden and a police officer? Why the hell does he get into his car and drive off after killing his wife? Where is he driving to? Why are the police turning up now? Did someone call them? Obviously it can’t be Joseph, since he hasn’t finished disposing of evidence properly, so who? If it was someone near who heard a disturbance, why didn’t the police arrive earlier? Also, why does Joseph have Mia’s DNA at his house? Even if he was a police officer and/or prison warden, wouldn’t that sort of thing be kept in a secure evidence room? Also, this is 1985. They don’t have widespread DNA testing yet. Also, DNA tests, even with today’s technology, can’t be performed instantly and while at the crime scene. Why is Joseph leading the police officers to catch Mia? A) It’s probably not his jurisdiction and b ) he has a personal stake in the matter. Why does Joseph need to be in disguise to talk to the family? If Mia is on the run, would she really be lured out of hiding just from a phone call from Jason? What exactly can Joseph arrest Jason for? Cooperating with the police to help catch a wanted fugitive? And surely linking Jason to him will only place suspicion on Joseph? Why doesn’t Joseph just arrest Jason then and there? The guy knows that Joseph murdered his wife, so he’s a liability. Speaking of, why the hell did Joseph tell him that? And why the hell does he then tell Mia? Why do the officers leave Joseph and Mia alone together knowing Joseph apparently has a grudge against Mia for murdering his wife? Why does he need a motive to punish Mia? I thought he just decided to frame her out of necessity and happening to see her when he was thinking about who to frame. Also, why isn’t he blaming the social services who took his brother away, instead of Mia’s family? And why did those social services take away one child and not the other? Why did they then give him to a family who apparently need to steal food and money to survive? And why is this something so big for Joseph that he needs to take revenge? And why the unholy fuck did he just stab Mia? That ruins literally everything he planned up until then. Also Anna got a shorter sentence by agreeing to be a police officer? What? Whatwhatwhatwhatwhat?!! Why didn’t the police officers search the house more thoroughly immediately? How do you find framed DNA? Just because they find a glove with Mia’s Dna on it doesn’t immediately show it to be framed. What kind of ridiculously good shot must Joseph be to a) hit a police officer in the heart with a knife and b ) one-shot kill 6 police officers? And yet he doesn’t think to either use Mia as a hostage or just kill her to complete his ‘revenge’? Also, Mia gets to be the prosecutor at his trial? That breaks so many courtroom laws, I’m not even sure where to start. Oh and what, those five police officers don’t get given names in Mia’s court sum up? Also ‘I am the innocent’ makes absolutely no grammatical sense.

 

Posted Image

 

Also putting a sentence in italics doesn’t make it a song.

 

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic- The Rise of Nightmare Rarity- C

 

I very nearly gave this an A-. Seriously, it flowed well, I was able to follow it pretty easy despite not having watched the previous films, the songs were decent, the characters were pretty good. But then it had to ruin it all with that cliffhanger. I mean, really? Why did you feel the need to split it in two? All you needed to do was have a climax where you defeat the villains with the power of magic, or whatever, and you’d be done. You don’t need another movie for that. That was just a disappointment.

 

That said, the good stuff is still good, but that cliffhanger just annoyed me.

 

Edit: And now it turns out to be a wiki C&P so now it gets a C.

 

Leviathan- C+

 

There’s far too much going on and the film feels overstuffed with all its characters and subplots, but it still manages to pull out an entertaining moment every once in a while.

 

The Deadline- C

 

See my review in my old review thread.

 

Flappy Bird- B

 

Surprisingly solid and interesting documentary.

 

The Mansion- B

 

Doesn’t really rise beyond its basic premise of ‘creepy kid does creepy things’ and some bits seem pretty silly, but it’s competent in both writing and directing.

Edited by Za Rukaio!
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I've got about 3 reactions to the reviewsThe innocent one was pretty Dissapointing but then funny as well. I kind of had a thought this would happenThe garden review wasnt the best rating but higher than I was expecting so im happy with thatBut im more shocked that one of my films got the joint best reviews of the month, actually that flappy bird review I think is the best review I've had on the game

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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic- The Rise of Nightmare Rarity- B-

 

I very nearly gave this an A-. Seriously, it flowed well, I was able to follow it pretty easy despite not having watched the previous films, the songs were decent, the characters were pretty good. But then it had to ruin it all with that cliffhanger. I mean, really? Why did you feel the need to split it in two? All you needed to do was have a climax where you defeat the villains with the power of magic, or whatever, and you’d be done. You don’t need another movie for that. That was just a disappointment.

 

That said, the good stuff is still good, but that cliffhanger just annoyed me.

 

 

My MLP franchise is based off the comic books, and most arcs in said comic books are two issues long. The way I'm adapting them is each movie is two issues. To get you happier though, after the next movie, all of my future MLP movies should be self-contained.

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Feel like doing November's reviews. Apologies if this is a bit messy. I'm typing it up on my new tablet.

The Bronx is Burning- B+/A-

Excellent Scorsese baseball drama with some very good performances from Tucci and Ejiofor. However, I felt disappointed by the ending. Certainly, the team winning the World Series is the perfect place to finish up, but the tension between the characters seems to resolve itself far too easily despite a lot of them seemingly barely having changed.

 

It's still a very good movie mind and, along with Resonance, pretty much a lock for a Best Picture Nomination.

The Creators C+

Basically what would happen if you made that Simpsons Halloween episode into a full length movie. It feels very light on plot and wraps up pretty unsatisfying. (So Frank and Katie stop being viewed as evil, why?). But it's harmless enough.

Dragon Age: Awakening- C-

Horribly horribly overstuffed and over plotted. There were so many plots and subplots that I could barely keep track of them all, many of which had large chunks that could've easily been cut with nothing of value being lost. And the film just would not end. The battle were Fergus was killed made a fine climax and the film felt like it should've finished there and wrapped the rest of the plot up in a sequel or something. But no. We have a total of three more climaxes after that! Three! I have no idea how you intended to fit this into a 160min run time.

While the battle scenes were kinda cool, The Architect was a neat villain and it didn't shut newcomers out, it just went on for so long, with so much unnecessary fat that I can't recommend it.

The Concerts End B-

Like Dragon Age, this film feels overstuffed. A lot of scenes and characters really don't add anything to the plot or the film and only serve to unnecessarily pad things. And the film seems far more preoccupied with the politics rather than the characters involved, turning most of them into talking heads with little life of their own.

 

That said, the film is obviously well researched and definitely looks the part and, with so many great actors, it's difficult not to have at least a few great performances. And some of the politics is pretty interesting.

 

The Giver- A-

 

Very surprised and impressed by this one. It's an interesting premise, well handled, a lot of the Lynchian scenes are pulled off well and overall it's a good adaptation of the book. I guess we know which of the two Lynch films worked better this year...

 

The only reason it's not getting an A or an A+ is that it's very exposition heavy in the beginning and a lot of it is given pretty clunkily. But it's still a very good film.

 

Origin- D

 

It's Avatar. They're barely trying to hide that it's so blatantly Avatar. The only difference is that one twist which, I admit, was a neat idea but was pretty spoiled by the title/tagline and revealed in the most ham-handed way possible. And the film fails to go into any massive details about what the implications of the twist are. I could imagine plenty of people trying to trying to change the present. But nope. Everyone just goes home and lives happily ever after, etc etc. 

 

In fact, I've realised the perfect tagline to describe this movie. It's like a low budget Avatar directed by M Night Shyamalan. (<insert Last Airbender joke here>)

 

Posted Image

 

Simpsons 2: The Ride- D

 

Feels like a 20 minute episode stretched into a feature length movie. A 20 minute episode of the newer series.

 

Also, who the fuck is Cedric?

 

A Series of Unfortunate Events the Fourth- C

 

Wiki C&P. Can't give more than a C.

 

Flowers for Algernon- B-

 

An decent adaptation of the book, but it feels rather overlong and I'm not sure many of these acting/directing choices were right for this story. 

 

Two-Way Road- C+

 

A somewhat intriguing premise but the circumstances leading up to the dad's final death just feel so very very forced. And there's a notable lack of explanation as to why Lily's in the groundhog day loop, or how she suddenly knows how to break out of it.

Edited by Za Rukaio!
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Yeah I kinda saw that coming.

 

My choices were to do a lean mean 90-minute movie based wholly on the Denerim stuff, or the expansive route. I chose the latter. I decided that building the mythology of the world as well as providing some closure and resolution to long-running subplots in the series were just as important as getting to the final battle. It may be a little overstuffed, but I think that's in part due to my wanting to give everything a decent description, particularly key conversations. There are a couple minor things here and there I know I could cut, but I was up against the wall of the deadline and wanted to get it all done.

 

It might be the case that if you ever come back and read the whole trilogy, your view might improve. Or you may hate them all even more!  :lol:

 

 

Now I really wish you had been around to read Knahera: Land of Dreams in the old BOM CAYOM. You'd have hated it so much it'd have been great.

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It may be a little overstuffed, but I think that's in part due to my wanting to give everything a decent description, particularly key conversations. There are a couple minor things here and there I know I could cut, but I was up against the wall of the deadline and wanted to get it all done.

There's a lot more than a couple of minor things. Large parts of Velanna and Alistair's stories really should've been cut if you wanted this to be one movie, as should a lot of the minor battle scenes. But, honestly, this film should've just been split into two. Have a cliff hanger after Fergus's death, pad out the beginning of the 2nd film a bit and you'd be good. Considering the release date and competition, it's not as if this film is really going to struggle to make enough profit to justify a sequel.

 

I mean, I can totally understand you wanting to do the expansive route and wanting to add as much from the game as possible. I admit I feel somewhat guilty of the same thing with Death Note, where I really didn't want to miss out any of the interesting details that made the manga such a good read. But it's important to know when to finish your movie and when a subplot needs to be cut. I originally had the first DN end much later in the overall story, but the spot I did end it at felt so much like a natural finishing place that I struggled to add anything onto it.

 

On a different note, I've finished up the rest of November's reviews, including The Bronx is Burning and the Concert's End.

Edited by Za Rukaio!
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There's a lot more than a couple of minor things. Large parts of Velanna and Alistair's stories really should've been cut if you wanted this to be one movie, as should a lot of the minor battle scenes. But, honestly, this film should've just been split into two. Have a cliff hanger after Fergus's death, pad out the beginning of the 2nd film a bit and you'd be good. Considering the release date and competition, it's not as if this film is really going to struggle to make enough profit to justify a sequel. I mean, I can totally understand you wanting to do the expansive route and wanting to add as much from the game as possible. I admit I feel somewhat guilty of the same thing with Death Note, where I really didn't want to miss out any of the interesting details that made the manga such a good read. But it's important to know when to finish your movie and when a subplot needs to be cut. I originally had the first DN end much later in the overall story, but the spot I did end it at felt so much like a natural finishing place that I struggled to add anything onto it. On a different note, I've finished up the rest of November's reviews, including The Bronx is Burning and the Concert's End.

I would contend that it's not nearly as packed as Return of the King, but I'll take your two cents and move on. This was just a special case since I really didn't want to turn a trilogy into a quadrilogy. As for Velanna, the reason why her stuff was built up is because I'm replacing a future character with her (since she's a much more interesting character in the game series) so I wanted to help lay foundation for her now so there's less needs be done later. I made what I thought was the best of a group of iffy choices, but I understand where you come from.Thanks for the good Bronx review. I agree things end up a bit too neat, but that's because it's essentially what happened in real life. In the U.S. winning a national championship does cure all ills for a sports team, at least for the short term. The irony is that halfway through the next year Tucci's character does get fired for pissing off the owner. I didn't want to belabor the ending so I had it on the high note. Edited by Numbers of House Stark
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I'm out all of tomorrow and I want to have the next few days free so I can finish up an essay I need to do, along with doing Baumer's Summer Game, so I'm going to try and finish off the year's reviews today. Moments of Silence hasn't been finished so obviously I can't review that. And, I've already reviewed Hairspray.

 

Dracula- C

 

Wiki C&P. Can't give more than a C

 

Avatar: The Last Airbender: The Search- C

 

Also Wiki C&P.

 

The Little Mermaid- B-

 

The story has a fair share of problems, including an excess of 'As you know, Bob...' conversations near the beginning. And making it a live-action sequel to the Disney original was a... bizarre choice. On the other hand, the visuals are absolutely fantastic. When they cost $250mil they damn well better be. The casting is a mixed bag. Liam Neeson, Emma Watson and the Pegg/Frost duo fit into their roles well, but Hemsworth is dull and Latifah didn't feel like a particularly good Ursula. But hey, at least it's not a Wiki C&P.

 

Wallace and Gromit: Christmas- C-

 

What the fuck did any of that have to do with Christmas?

 

Anyway, like the Simpsons, this feels like a 20 minute short stretched out into feature film length. In addition, it completely blocks out  anyone who's never seen A Matter of Loaf and Death and really doesn't add anything new to that story. And it's kinda confusing at times.

 

The Normans- C+

 

Basic simplistic history documentary. Nothing particularly exciting here. Also, who releases a documentary at Christmas? Who exactly do you think is going to be interested in taking their family to a fucking history documentary at Christmas?

 

Welp, that was quick. I suppose before I can do my top films of the year list though, I probably ought to review my own films. This should be fun.......

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The Concerts End B-

Like Dragon Age, this film feels overstuffed. A lot of scenes and characters really don't add anything to the plot or the film and only serve to unnecessarily pad things. And the film seems far more preoccupied with the politics rather than the characters involved, turning most of them into talking heads with little life of their own.

 

That said, the film is obviously well researched and definitely looks the part and, with so many great actors, it's difficult not to have at least a few great performances. And some of the politics is pretty interesting.

 

I think that's fair. The film did come from a time when CAYOM films regularly were that long (and I do pad) and I'm glad you think it's well researched. I took some of it from a paper I wrote on the subject of european (and particularly British) political and economic history while at Uni. I'm super proud of that paper and I did super well on it as well, lol. But I did take substantial liberties with it. 

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rukaio, you realize that MLP was a Wiki C+P too, right? Because I at least adapted the Wiki C+P of Avatar :lol:

Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I have now downgraded MLP to a C. You can thank me later.

 

Anyway, so I can do my top films list, here are my reviews of my own films.

 

The Good the Bad and the Dead- B

 

It think this went well enough. I definitely could've played up the black comedy aspects better, but it was fun to do and flowed pretty good.

 

The Legend of Redwall- A

 

Very happy with how this turned out. I was a bit uncertain going into it since the events of the book were a bit hazy in my mind, but that just made adapting it to film format easier. If I were to pick a flaw, it's that the pacing is a bit abnormal, with the big climactic battle coming before the smaller adventure, but it seemed to work.

 

The Dresden Files: Stormfront- A-

 

This was probably the most difficult adaptation to do. Partially because I ended up having to cut and shorten some major subplots, including having to cut out a major character altogether. And, unlike Redwall, I was unsure whether or not it would be well received. But people seemed to like it and it made Numbers's No 1 for the first half of the year, so I guess I'm pretty happy with it too. Also, I got to do a Shane Black movie. That's one ticked off my 'Awesome Directors I really want to use for a Movie' list. (Don't act like I'm the only one who's made this list. I know you all have.)

 

Run & Gun- B+

 

This was probably the film I had the most fun writing this year. Yeah, it was a dumb simplistic action flick, but that's what it was meant to be, and I had a lot of fun with the characters and the directions the storyline took.

 

Patchwork- C

 

This one's probably the film I'm least happy with this year (except for the 'film' below). It started out well enough, but got a bit off the rails towards the end and requires quite a bit of suspension of disbelief for some of it, since I kinda wrote myself into a hole.

 

Time, Space and One Blue BoxC-

 

Yeah, I probably should've gotten around to actually writing this....

 

Romeo vs Juliet- B-

 

It was an absolute slug trying to get myself motivated to write this but, once I started going, it went pretty well. I still ended up blatantly ripping of Singin' in the Rain when it came to one minor character though....

 

Death Note: The Game Begins- A-

 

This one probably has my favourite write-up, which I think flows well, has a lot of interesting minor quirks to it and stops just where it needs to. However, reading Numbers's review makes me realise that my choice for director probably could've been stronger. I still stand by my casting choice of Ezra Miller for L though.

 

Catch the Pigeon- B

 

Felt like doing a fun animated movie. Did a fun animated movie. Probably the most forgettable of the films I've done though.

 

Freddy vs Jason vs Ash- B+

 

A close second to Run & Gun for being the most fun to write. Honestly, it pretty much wrote itself, flowed great and yet still managed to stay reasonably true to each character. Like Run & Gun it's not much more than a fun action flick (yeah, I kinda skimped on the horror element, (but that was halfway deliberate)) but it's not really meant to be much more. The only thing I'm not too keen on is that I really couldn't think of a director I thought really fit this (since I'd already used Sam Raimi this year) so I had to invent one. On the other hand, I think Drake Brando is a pretty cool name and having your own made-up director is kinda neat. I may use him and Soren Ville (made-up Redwall director (not as cool a name (I got it from playing Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance while watching 101 Dalmatians))) in later films.

 

Mushishi- A-

 

Ironically, I think I'm the first to review this, so the jury is still out as to how people will feel towards it. I'm pretty happy with it though. The non-standard anthology structure of this film was fun to play around with and allowed me to explore more of the Mushishi series (which is one of my favourites) a lot more smoothly than if I'd stuck to a more episodic structure. Guillermo del Toro is another on my 'Awesome Directors I really want to use for a Movie' list and I think this movie fits him like a glove, with its strange, mystical, kinda fairy-taleish quality. Also, one of Del Toro's lesser appreciated qualities is to get fantastic performances out of child actors, so there's that too. Colin Ferrell is one of my favourite actors and I can see him embodying that calm laid-back traveller quality of Ginko very well. 

 

 

 

I do have a few issues with it. First is the use of Japanese names, which I'm mixed on whether it works or not. My original intention was to help the film keep its otherworldly tone, with foreign names unfamiliar to typical english-speaking audiences, but I'm iffy on whether it really achieves that. Secondly, I think the final story could've been told better. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I did an bad job with it and it still works, but I was tiring by that point and I think it kinda shows and pales in comparison to the other tales. Then again, it may just be my own incredible paranoia about my own works working against me. Thirdly, I think the concept of what Mushi are could've possibly been explained better, but it's pretty vague in the show itself and think it kinda works better if you don't fully understand them and they seem kinda alien, so I'm not too fussed about it. 

 

Some flaws aside (which people are now almost certain to bring up because I've just brought them up), I still think it's one of my better works though and I'm hoping people like it. 

 

So yeah, those are my reviews of my own films. Hope it doesn't come off as too egotistical and self-serving. My Top 25 will be coming soonish.

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