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The Box Office Knight Rises (PAGE 17, FINAL PART UP, BONUS SPECIAL UPDATED 08/06/2014)

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Welcome to the second chapter of the Box Office Knight saga. I hope you guys really liked BoxOfficeBegins, and it's time to follow up with The Box Office Knight. I've been really looking forward to this one because it allows me to open up the story to a lot of posters I've been wanting to get to. This is Part 1 for now, and this will be ongoing for at least the next couple months. I'm actually using the Shooting Script as my reference, which is slightly different than the final film. It's about 95% of the same, but you'll understand if some things aren't quite in order or lines are ever so slightly different. Comments, suggestions, feedback, likes, etc as always are appreciated.






We begin in daylight on an ordinary Sunday morning. The weekend thread is busy with numbers. People are catching up on all the nonsense that happened overnight on Friday. People talking about Nikke being drunk, Frozen numbers, Marvel vs DC…the usual stuff. Elsewhere…two posters go from one thread to another. In the box office general discussion, a lone poster waits to be picked up by two others. He puts on his avatar just before joining them.


Films: Three of a kind, let’s do this.


Hiccup: That’s it? Three guys?


Films: There’s two on the top of the thread. Every guy is an extra share. Five shares is plenty.


Hiccup: Six shares. Don’t forget the guy who planned the job.


Films: He thinks he can sit and out and still take a slice. I know why they call him the Telemachos.


The scene cuts to the two posters at the top of the thread.


Fancyarcher: So why do they call him the Telemachos?


Elessar: I heard he uses a Lawrence of Arabia avatar.


Fancyarcher: Lawrence of Arabia?


Elessar: Yeah, to maximize likes. Y’know, Peter O’Toole.


Fancyarcher and Elessar begin waiting for the post reports to trip. From the bottom, Films, Hiccup, and another enter the thread and begin trolling wildly. Somebody begins reporting their posts, but Fancyarcher and Elessar are there to intercept it.


Elessar: Here comes the silent report. And there it goes. That’s funny, it didn’t reach out to the mods, it was trying to reach a private poster.


Fancyarcher: Is it a problem?


Elessar: No, I’m done here.


Suddenly, Fancyarcher bans him. He takes his equipment and begins moving into the thread from above. He enters the vault of likes where all the weekend likes are being stored for the day.  He begins to hack into it.Meanwhile, Films , Hiccup, and the third poster are rounding up all the posters together. Within the thread, Rallax, the topic creator watches. He grabs a banning shot gun.


Films: Obviously we don’t want you doing anything with your fingers other than staying still…


A bang is heard and Hiccup is blown away. Banned. Films and the other poster flee into hiding. As they’re being attacked, Fancyarcher attempts to hack and get all the likes but he is zapped. Back in the main part of the thread. Rallax begins firing wildly. One. Two. Three. Four.




Films: He’s out right?


The other poster thinks for a second, and then indicates yes. Films stands up and Rallax fires at him. Films is lucky to avoid the gunfire, but then the third poster pops out and takes him down. He’s not banned, but incapacitated.


Films: Where’d you learn to count?!


Films then goes into the vault of likes where Fancyarcher has resumed hacking into the vault.


Fancyarcher: They wired this thing up a whole bunch of firewalls. What kind of weekend thread does that?


Films: A Frozen weekend thread. Guess the Tele’s as crazy as they say. Where’s the alarm guy?


Fancyarcher is able to access the likes. The vault is now broken into.


Fancyarcher: Boss told me that when I was done, I should take him out. One less share.


Films: Funny. He told me something similar…


Fancyarcher: Wait, wait, no!


Films bans him too and enters the vault which is filled with THOUSANDS of likes. He begins collecting them and lining them up in the main area of the thread so they can make their escape. Once they’ve completed collecting them, they prep to make their exit.


Films: If this guy was so smart, he’d have come up with a better exit.


Films cocks his banning weapon and points it at the final poster remaining along with him.


Films: I’m betting the Tele told you to ban as soon as we loaded up the likes.


Poster: No no no, I ban the app driver.


The poster sidesteps. So too does Films.


Films: App driver? What app driver?


Suddenly a giant app comes crashing in which will take them out of the Box Office General Discussion and carry away all the likes. Films is banned in the process. The app driver comes out and the other poster helps him load the likes into the app.


Kitik: Dang, Films ain’t getting up, is he? Wow that’s a lot of likes. Hey what happened to all the other…?


The remaining poster bans him. He loads the remaining likes. Rallax continues to watch, wounded.


Rallax: Think you’re smart huh? Well the same guys who hired you are gonna do the same to you.

Trollers in this forum used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?


The poster then reveals his true avatar and it is indeed…The Telemachos.


Telemachos: I believe that…what doesn’t ban you makes you….stranger.


Rallax has a terrified look as Telemachos plants a device on him that is set to ban him. He attaches it to the app and makes his exit, pulling the pin on the device. Rallax awaits his banning but it turns out to be nothing more than a false banning. Rallax slinks back in shock. The app makes its exit and the Telemachos has managed to successfully pull of the heist.




It’s night time and the Zack Galifiankis symbols shines across the Box Office forums. A deal is going on between two common criminal posters when they see the symbol.


Poster 1: Naw man, I don’t like it tonight.


Poster 2: What’re you, superstitious? You got a better chance of winning the lottery than running into him!


At the Major Crimes Unit for the Mods, various mods watch the headlines. This includes k1stpierre and MovieMan89. On the TV stream, Blankments is interviewing Riczhang, the elected leader of Box Office Forums. He’s talking about Meryl Streep of course. And the BoxOfficeMan.


Blankments: Mr. Riczhang, you were elected to clean up the boards. When are you going to start?


Riczhang: Well, Blank…


Blankments: Like this so called BoxOfficeMan, a lot of people are saying he’s doing some good, that trollers are running scared. Yet we hear that instead of trying to suspend him, the mods are trying to use him to do their dirty work.


Riczhang: I’m told that our men in the Major Crimes Unit are close to making a suspension.


K1stpierre: Hey, MovieMan, you hear that? The mayor says you’re closing in on the BoxOfficeMan.


MovieMan89: The investigation is ONGOING.


The list of suspects include jokes like Abraham Lincoln and Elvis. At the top of the thread, k1stpierre meets up with Redfirebird.


K1stpierre: You ever intend on seeing your wife again, Lieutenant?


Redfirebird:  I thought you had to look after your mother, detective.


K1stpierre: She’s at the hospital.


Redfirebird: I’m sorry to hear that.


K1stpierre: He still hasn’t shown?


Redfirebird: He often doesn’t. But I like reminding everybody that he’s out there.


K1stpierre: Why wouldn’t he come?


Redfirebird: Hopefully, because he’s busy.




In a shady thread, a bunch of posters are congregating, including Chewy. He notices the Zack Galifianakis symbol.


Chewy: That’s why we bring spambots. My little princes…


They grab one of the posters who’s going crazy. He seems to be having symptoms similar to watching the Amazing Spider-Man through a stream. They’re meeting another group of posters.


Chewy: Look what your movie did to my customers!


Out comes iJackSparrow (after a 8 month hiatus)


iJackSparrow: Buyer beware. I said my movie would take you places. I never said they’d be places you want to go.


Chewy: My business is repeat customers.


iJackSparrow: If you don’t like what I have to offer, buy from someone else. Assuming the BoxOfficeMan left anyone else to buy from.


The bots begin going off. They’re aware that someone is in their presence.




Chewy notices the BoxOfficeMan




But suddenly another poster is taken out from a spot that could not have been the BoxOfficeMan. And then another. The third one pulls out a banning weapon and fires at them. Everybody begins scattering the thread.


iJackSparrow: That’s not him!


Chewy: Loose the bots!


The bots are unleashed and viciously begin attacking the faux BoxOfficeMen. Meanwhile, one of them subjected by iJack to the Amazing Spider-Man and he begins to go insane. Then….BLAM. The BoxOffice Mobile App comes crashing in.


iJackSparrow: That’s more like it…


The various posters begin attacking the app but to no avail. Suddenly the app fires back to intimidate. The remaining posters begin to scatter and then the true BoxOfficeMan appears, taking down one of the imposters. He moves on to the other posters and takes them down with ease. iJack begins to make his exit from the thread and the BoxOfficeMan is trying to save one of the imposters from the spam bots. iJack’s app crashes into BoxOfficeMan and he tries to escape. BoxOfficeMan begins using a device to crack into the app, but he is forced to stop. He calmly makes his way to the exit of the thread as iJack circles around. BoxOfficeMan jumps from the top, and promptly smashes iJack’s app. The scene cuts to BoxOfficeMan rounding up iJack, and the other posters.


BoxOfficeMan: Don’t let me see you out here again.


Kal: We’re trying to help you!


BoxOfficeMan: I don’t need your help.


iJackSparrow: Not my diagnosis.


Kal: What gives you the right? What’s the difference between you and me?


BoxOfficeMan (as he’s entering the Mobile App): I’m not the one with a blue cat person avatar!




At the weekend thread, Redfirebird is examining the aftermath of the ‘like’ heist. There’s plenty of banned members, and hardly any likes remaining.


Redfirebird: What’s he hiding under that avatar?


The BoxOfficeMan appears.k1stpierre begins to clear out the room.


K1stpierre: Give us a minute, please, people!


BoxOfficeMan: Him again? Who are the others?


Redfirebird: Another bunch of small timers.


BoxOfficeMan examines the remaining likes left in the thread.


BoxOfficeMan: Some of the marked likes I gave you?


Redfirebird: My detectives have been putting these into circulation for weeks. This weekend thread was another drop for the Frozen mob. That makes five weekend threads.


BoxOfficeMan: Time to move in.


Redfirebird: What about this Tele guy?


BoxOfficeMan: One man, or the entire Frozen mob? The Telemachos can wait.


Redfirebird: We’ll have to hit all threads simultaneously. SWAT teams, backup. When the new DA gets wind of this, he’ll want in.


BoxOfficeMan: Do you trust him?


Redfirebird: It’ll be hard to keep him out. I hear he’s as stubborn as you.


The BoxOfficeMan has disappeared. Typical.




Accursed Arachnid goes to ShawnMR’s temporary headquarters to speak to him. He’s not there. That’s pretty typical. He goes off to the temporary Bat Cave, the DC Universe section where he finds ShawnMR tending to himself.


Accursed Arachnid: When you stitch your forum persona up, you always leave a mess.


ShawnMR: It helps me learn from my mistakes.


Accursed Arachnid: You ought to be pretty knowledgeable by then.


ShawnMR: My profile, it needs to be lighter. Faster.


Accursed Arachnid: I’m sure Mr. RTH can oblige. *Examining ShawnMR* Did you get mauled by a



ShawnMR: It was a spam bot. A big spam bot. There were more copycats last night.


Accursed Arachnid: Perhaps you can hire them and take some weekends off.


ShawnMR: That wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted to inspire posters.


Accursed Arachnid: I know. But things are improving. Look at the new district attorney.


ShawnMR begins watching on a monitor as he sees 4815162342,now referred to as Numbers going forward.


ShawnMR: I am. Closely. I need to know if he can be trusted.


Accursed Arachnid: Are you interested in his character, or his social circle?


On the monitor, ECSTASY, ahem, Dragon appears, who has replaced ECSTASY for the story along with Numbers. They are apparently an item.


ShawnMR: Who Dragon spends her time with is her business.


Accursed Arachnid: Well I trust you’re not following me on my day off.


ShawnMR: If you ever took one, I might.


Accursed Arachnid examines all the battle scars of ShawnMR. He has taken quite a few hits over the past month.


Accursed Arachnid: Know your limits, Master Shawn.


ShawnMR: BoxOfficeMan has no limits.


Accursed Arachnid: Well you do, sir.


ShawnMR: Can’t afford to know them.


Accursed Arachnid: And what happens the day you find out?


ShawnMR: We all know how much you like to say I told you so.


Accursed Arachnid: That day, Master Shawn, even I won’t want to. Probably.



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Dammit, now I wish I could have another part...


I tried to reserve certain supporting roles for readers...I mean ones who really had little bearing on the story but made an impression on me, whether it be the hobo that I love, the guy who keeps saying the pressure is gonna blow in Batman Begins, or the falafel vendor. Had I known you were reading before I actually cast you, I would have saved you for someone else. Though it's not too late for me to make a small edit somewhere... ;)

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It's the little goofball cheesy things like that which give TDK some extra character. It's hard to imagine someone as generally meticulous as Nolan would unknowingly let things like that slip through.

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I'm cool with occasionally popping up as different bit part characters to say cheesy-sounding lines before vanishing. Fits my personality on here pretty well, to be honest.

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It's the little goofball cheesy things like that which give TDK some extra character. It's hard to imagine someone as generally meticulous as Nolan would unknowingly let things like that slip through.


I need to cast somebody as the nodding guy even though he has no speaking lines.


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Hopefully some villain will teach Shawn a box office lesson because of the day he said Jack Ryan was heading towards a 8.5M OD.  :P


At least he got the 10M OD of Non-Stop right, so I showed some mercy there... but after Jack Ryan I am always angry...  :ph34r:  :lol:

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