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Rukaio's Reviews: Year 9 (Competition Time!)

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In 6th place...

AmuletTo quote my review of Dragon Age: Awakening 'horribly horribly overstuffed and overplotted'. Longer doesn't necessarily mean better when it comes to a film. Especially when a large number of subplots in the movie don't get anything near to the attention they deserve while some are ignored outright (what was the pont of the father's death in the beginning?). And while I like films that do their own worldbuilding, in a way said worldbuilding is one of Amulet's biggest problems. Not that the worldbuilding is bad, but there's a time when you need to stop adding to your world and start doing something with what you've already established. And Amulet keeps on adding and adding and, as a result, it makes it impossible to satisfyingly resolve itself and effectively collapses under the weight of its own plot.So yeah, not much of a fan. Here's hoping the sequel improves.

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In 5th place...

Wings of IcarusOkay, now we're getting into the section of films I actually did like. You can breath easy everyone.Like Amulet, I do think Wings of Icarus goes on a bit too long. On the other hand, it's a hell of a lot neater than Amulet and manages to contain and resolve each plot reasonably satisfyingly. It's well written, retells its mythology in an interesting way and most of the characters do have depth to them.

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Apologies for the waits. My tablet is being very dodgy today.In 4th place...

SparkIt was a very close contest between this and my No3, but the other film slightly edged it. But anyway, Spark was a lot of fun. Admittedly, I thought the climax got a bit convoluted and there was a severe lack of foreshadowing for the reveal of our bad guy. (ZOMG, it's that guy we've never heard of! What a shocker!) Also, I'm confused as to why Ezen won Best Supporting Voice. But aside from that, the film was paced well, had plenty of great action and was fun to watch.

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In 3rd place...

The SeafarersYes I'm placing this above Wings of Icarus. Waht a twist. But seriously, this film had a simple story to tell and it told it well. Also, I'm a sucker for animated pirates. Admittedly, some characters felt underutilised but the rest were great. It was paced well, told well and just worked for me.

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Apologies for the waits. My tablet is being very dodgy today.In 4th place...

SparkAlso, I'm confused as to why Ezen won Best Supporting Voice.

 

The two nominees from my animated film that year agree.

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Okay, my tablet is working again. Back to the list.In 2nd place...

Shiverin' GulchOkay, before I get started, how in pluperfect hell did this only get a PG rating? You've got an opening where a 15-year old kid gets eaten alive and one of the driving forces of the plot is stopping a character from being violently lynched by a bunch of racist townsfolk. You know! For kids!The slipping standards of CAYOM age rating organisations aside, this was really really good. The plotting was tight, the pacing was near perfect, the characters were likeable and it kept me interested all the way through. I barely have any criticisms. Just a damn good film all round.

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And in 1st place...

To the MoonI don't really think I need to explain this one do I? A true Cayom classic. Perfectly done ChD.

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So that's my list and congratulations to Blankments who managed to guess 4/7 in the right order and thus wins an exclusive trip to Rukaioland, Florida where he'll get to ride such fun rides as the 'Screw-MoS-coaster' and the 'Japanese-animation-is-far-superior-to-its-Western-counterpart Log Flumes'. And, of course, the infamous 'It's a Sarcastic World after all.' Prize is not refundable.Oh and he also gets a preread of Cybernetic 7 when I get it to a standard I'm happy with.

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So that's my list and congratulations to Blankments who managed to guess 4/7 in the right order and thus wins an exclusive trip to Rukaioland, Florida where he'll get to ride such fun rides as the 'Screw-MoS-coaster' and the 'Japanese-animation-is-far-superior-to-its-Western-counterpart Log Flumes'. And, of course, the infamous 'It's a Sarcastic World after all.' Prize is not refundable.Oh and he also gets a preread of Cybernetic 7 when I get it to a standard I'm happy with.

 

Man of Steel was a cool movie. I agree on the Japanese thing, though. I dare say that Japanese Anime/Movies > Hollywood Movies

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Man of Steel was a cool movie. I agree on the Japanese thing, though. I dare say that Japanese Anime/Movies > Hollywood Movies

Just be glad I didn't go for my original plan of bad puns based on my Cayom movies. Otherwise we'd be discussing the Log Horizon log flumes right about now. Or our rollercoaster, the Mushishwhee!
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Though I can say the sequel will be much less about the world-building and more about the characters. The 3rd and 4th books in the Amulet series are my least favorite, so I'm going to be doing a LOT of tweaks story-wise.

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Also, I'm confused as to why Ezen won Best Supporting Voice.

Probably because Spark, written back in 2012, came in before Cucumber Fever. Ezen had full on Sherlock swagger, and Numbers straight up loved him.

 

Hell, I know Alex and Zenta are canon, but I secretly ship AleZen.  :ph34r:

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And July's reviews have finally arrived. I should note, there's going to be one hell of a controversial opinion here. So now I've finished unnerving everybody, feel free to read on.

 

Godzilla Apocalypse Part 2- C+

 

While the monster fights are nice and all, the movie focuses too much on the annoying humans and generic aliens who I really could not care less about. And most of the monsters are taken down in a massive anti-climax.

 

 

Minnie’s Summer Vacation- B-

 

Yeah it’s a basic filler but, compared to how crap fillers in this game can often get, I actually kinda enjoyed it. And the twist made me chuckle.

 

 

OMG Sharkz!- F

 

Yeah, you know how I was talking earlier about crap fillers…?

 

 

Life of Galileo- I’m not even sure

 

Really, I have no idea what I’m supposed to make of this. I wouldn’t call it good or bad, it’s just… bizarre. The play itself is a good one but the way they choose to present it just constantly leaves me scratching my head in confusion. Why Baz Lurhmann? Why make Galileo a woman? What was the point of the framing device? Why Baz Lurhmann? Why the weird 'one take' cinematography? What the hell did Hiroshima at the beginning have to do with anything? And why Baz fucking Lurhmann?

 

 

Vector- F

 

If I wanted to watch two hours of nothing but people running, I would shoot myself because that’s a fecking stupid thing to want to watch.

 

 

The Adventures of Scrooge McDuck- A-/A

 

Excellent animated adventure. Finely paced, well written, admittedly slightly basic story but one that works well to the film’s charms. Very good job Cook13.

 

 

Clear and Present Danger- C-

 

Like Dragon Age: Awakening, it’s well written but far too overplotted and overstuffed for one film. What works for a book doesn’t necessarily work for a film and you really needed to cut a large amount of that loose, unnecessary fat off. So many of the subplots and minor characters could’ve been removed completely or at least massively scaled down and, as a result of you setting up all those characters/subplots, the first act of the film meanders like a bitch and was a real struggle to get through. Also for a Jack Ryan movie, Ryan feels more like a background character up until the final third. He really doesn't get to do anything.

 

Like I said though, it is well written and, once the plot stops meandering, it is pretty intense. And I’ve got to give a lot of credit to Pedro Pascal’s Cortez who was easily the best character (and I would totally support for a Best Supporting nod) and brightens the film any time he comes onscreen. But, like I said, there’s just far too much fat for me to give this a positive review.

 

 

The Lucky Winner- F

 

I don’t even know what the hell the plot of this is supposed to be. And I'm really beginning to miss Wiki C&P's.

Edited by Rukaio Alter
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The Adventures of Scrooge McDuck- A-/A

 

Excellent animated adventure. Finely paced, well written, admittedly slightly basic story but one that works well to the film’s charms. Very good job Cook13.

 

OMG.

 

slow-clap-gif.gif

 

You don't know how happy this makes me.

Edited by C00k13
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Let me answer your questions:

 

Life of Galileo- I’m not even sure

 

Really, I have no idea what I’m supposed to make of this. I wouldn’t call it good or bad, it’s just… bizarre. The play itself is a good one but the way they choose to present it just constantly leaves me scratching my head in confusion. Why Baz Lurhmann?

Because then I can get away with weird presentation ideas

 

Why make Galileo a woman?

So I can have a Best Actress contender

 

What was the point of the framing device?

There was going to be a point, but then I quite literally ran out of time to add a point.

 

Why Baz Lurhmann?

Because then I can cast Leo in the biggest male role without people looking twice.

 

Why the weird 'one take' cinematography?

Because Baz Luhrmann needs to be weird and I liked the idea to add more of a "stage" feeling to the film.

 

What the hell did Hiroshima at the beginning have to do with anything?

Actually have a good reason for this. :P There's a version of Brecht's Galileo that I believe was never translated into English. After the bomb was dropped, Brecht rewrote the play to reflect his feelings post-bomb and then translated that effort with Charles Laughton. Hence, this explains why the film adapts the second version of Galileo rather than the Germanic original version.

 

And why Baz fucking Lurhmann?

Because then I can get a huge cast and huge budget for a film that's probably gonna bomb. :P

 

 

Thanks for the review btw :P

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