DAJKS's (And Everyone Else's) Worst of 2014 (baumer starts pg 6)

[Kalo]

The Amazing Spider-Man 2, had some Awful scenes and horrible villains, But it wasn't that bad. The relationship between Gwen and Peter was good. I did only see it once though.

Edited December 29, 2014 by KaloVisor

[The Panda]

Number 6

Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

 

Part of me didn't want to put the obviously poorly made horror films but in my opinion this one definitely deserved to be put on this list.  The entire movie builds up just to climax with a stupid jump scare, there is nothing creepy or scary about this, it's flat out brainless nonsense.  The Paranormal Activity series used to be strong, and then they just kept going on and on until we are at the point where each film is actually making the previous ones weaker with all of the convoluted tie-in's and throwbacks.  Literally, the way this movie tried to tie in with the first one was one of the stupidest plot points of the year.  This is the Paranormal Activity that officially made the entire franchise a joke.

[The Panda]

Number 5

Maleficent

 

The first time I saw this I hated it but I thought maybe I just wasn't it's target demographic (which I am not), but then I had to see it again and I now have no forgiveness on how awful this movie truly is.  It is an absolute bore while at the same time it manages to absolutely murder the spirit of what was once one of the greatest Disney villains out there.  There is exactly one good scene in this movie and it's the scene that's also in the original Beauty and the Beast film, had that scene been the tone and feel of the entire movie it could have actually been good, but no Disney decided they wanted to add Maleficent to their Disney Fairies brand.  This film also managed to make me lose faith in Sharlto Copely as an actor, that is how frustratingly bad it was.  Sadly, as much as I hated this movie there were still four more films I managed to end up hating more.

[The Panda]

Number 4

Transcendence

 

There was a point in time when I was legitimately looking forward to this movie.  There was a point in time when I thought this might be Johnny Depp's return to form as an actual actor.  There was a point in time when I was anticipating a smart, intellectual, sci-fi thriller.  Boy was I wrong about that.  Transcendence managed to be second dumbest movie of the year that thought it was actually intelligent (I will get to the dumber one soon), and I was personally shocked that it was only second because I really do think this movie killed a large chunk of my brain cells.  The entire movie was painfully dull, everything was stiff, and whenever a plot advancement happened all you could do was shake your head at how ridiculous it was.  Transcendence was an utter, royal misfire. 

[James]

TASM 2, Maleficent and especially Transcendence are on my best of the year list

[Empire]

TASM 2, Maleficent and especially Transcendence are on my best of the year list

With those types of movie opinions, you are lucky you are so good looking.

[Ethan Hunt]

Transcendence was horrible, It may have had some good ideas but Wally Phister should stick to cinematography. The slow-mo puddle splash, LOL.

[The Panda]

Number 3

Transformers: Age of Extinction

 

This is so much of an obvious choice by now that I nearly put this much lower on the list because it's another Transformers movie, however just because Bay continually gets it wrong doesn't mean I can give him the pass because I should have expected him to get it wrong again.  This movie made me nauseous, it was three hours of total shit, and that is three hours way too long.  Some of the movies on this list may have been terrible but at least I didn't have to sit through a Lord of the Rings length worth of their terribleness, I did with this.  So I would be lying if I did not put Age of Extinction any lower than right here. 

 

[James]

 

Number 3

Transformers: Age of Extinction

 

This is so much of an obvious choice by now that I nearly put this much lower on the list because it's another Transformers movie, however just because Bay continually gets it wrong doesn't mean I can give him the pass because I should have expected him to get it wrong again.  This movie made me nauseous, it was three hours of total shit, and that is three hours way too long.  Some of the movies on this list may have been terrible but at least I didn't have to sit through a Lord of the Rings length worth of their terribleness, I did with this.  So I would be lying if I did not put Age of Extinction any lower than right here. 

 

Ok, this is ridiculous. TF4 was awesome!

[Empire]

Ok, this is ridiculous. TF4 was awesome!

I can't.

[James]

I can't.

You just like disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing, don't you?

[Ethan Hunt]

Ok, this is ridiculous. TF4 was awesome!

I

Don't think it's as bad as a lot of people say it is but it has massive issues. First off the movie is paced horribly. The third act is kinda lame especially for a Transformers moments. I feel like Michael Bay just breezes over the slower moments. And the ending nia way to abrupt.

[Empire]

You just like disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing, don't you?

Maybe? Or we just have very different opinions on movies.

[James]

Maybe? Or we just have very different opinions on movies.

And I though we were such a perfect match

[Empire]

And I though we were such a perfect match

They say opposites attract though.

[Rorschach]

Number 1 is most definitely America. Number 2 is a either one of the two other romance films (Winter's Tale or Endless Love) or the other two horror films (Deliver Us From Evil or Ouija).

[The Panda]

Number 2

Winter's Tale

 

There were two quite awful Valentine's Day movies this year, and this is the one that has stuck out and haunted my memory of how atrociously bad it is since I saw it.  Apparently this movie was supposed to have tear-jerking moments, but the only sad thing about it was seeing so many talented actors fall so low and give such awful performances to the point I don't even know if they're good actors anymore.  I tried following along with this movie, I tried to let myself get invested, but there was absolutely nothing that this film was able to offer, it tried so hard to be something and it was evident (and not in a good way).  I try so hard to blot this experience from my memory but all that happens is I see that same stupid, sparkly Pegasus thing and Russell Crowe giving quite possibly the worst performance of his entire career.  To put it simply, Winter's Tale manages to make the Hallmark Christmas Films look like It's a Wonderful Life in comparison.

Edited December 30, 2014 by The Panda

[The Panda]

And now for my number 1.   It should be no surprise to anybody who has kept track of my Best of 2014 list or who read my review of it when I posted it this Summer.

 

Number 1

 

Some of these movies on this list had me put to sleep.  Other movies gave me a nauseous headache from what I had to sit through.  Others I left in anger and confusion at how quality professionals were able to screw up so royally.  And others left me in sadness at horribly they handled strong pre-existing material.   No other movie left me speechless, left me in an utter state of wanting to give up on the world and cinema, than America: Imagine the World Without Her.  From the genius mind who brought you "2016: Obama's America" he comes at you with his sophomoric effort which manages to take all of the stupidity of 2016, all of the unethical forms of manipulative (and literally lie filled) documentary craft, and ups it about twenty notches while he uses stretched truths, exaggerations, anecdotes, and quite a bit flat out incorrect information in his attempt to defend White Supremacy.  Literally.  He spends the first half of the movie trying to explain how all of the wrongdoings in America's past such as Slavery, Imperialism, and Native American Genocide and says how none of those things were really bad things at all.  He tries to talk about how there were blacks who oppressed the white man and how the natives were really better off by the Europeans taking them over.  What's sad is it's this first half that's actually the more tame part of his movie, and also the only part that has any sort of structure.  After that he goes off on his tangent about numerous things, such as explaining how Obama and Clinton's mentor was a Lucifer admirer, or teaching his entire audience about the complicated workings of Wall Street and the Economy and how it needs to work by talking about his hamburger joint, or saying how he doesn't deserve the upcoming jail time he is going to receive for attempting to buy an election because he believes all Americans commit 3 felonies a day and they get off scott-free.  I can literally rant about this movie for five to ten times as long as its run time, that's how much I despise it.  America: Imagine the World Without her isn't just one of the worst movies of the year, it's one of the worst documentaries made in cinematic history.

[Kalo]

yeah I avoided most of these movies for a reason.

[Ozymandias]

1. Godzilla - D (10 minute movie)

2. Noah - D (lol)

3. The Hobbit - Battle of the Five Armies D+ (ugh, this isn't a movie, its just an elongated final act of one which was very irritating.  More points also get docked for the ridiculous overuse of CGI and and botching of a few scenes I was hoping PJ would at least get right)

4. Unbroken - C- (not terrible just really disappointing)

 

Movies I haven't seen but feel completely comfortable listing them here anyways(because I don't go out of my way to watch terrible movies, if listing movies I haven't seen because I'd most likely hate them offends, I don't care):

 

5. Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas - (0% on RT and #1 on imdb's bottom 100)

6. Transformers 4 - (The Transformers movies, especially the last 2, were utter dog shit and this has the lowest RT score of them all.  I'll probably never watch another Michael Bay movie again unless by some miracle reviews are at least mildly positive, his movies are just a complete waste of time and you only remember the ones you've seen after Armageddon because of how baffling they are)

7. Annie - (Awful/annoying trailer and awful reviews)

8. Transcendence (movie was a huge flop and the horrible reviews indicate that it challenges you to stay awake, another Turkey for the Depp!  I bet Wally Pfister will never direct another movie again unless its like a 1-5 million dollar indie drama.  Also, its always great when some egotistical Hollywood asshole talks shit about somebody else's film and then delivers and epic stinker / flop afterwards)

9. The Amazing Spider-man 2 (I must confess that the only Spiderman movie I've seen is the first one back in 2002 and I hated it, and since everyone seems to hate this one the most out of all 5 Spider-man films and is probably gonna responsible for another early reboot, yeah...)

10. That Hercules movie at the start of the year(3% on RT, I also remember the trailer being just lolworthy.  The stilted acting, corny dialogue, really fake looking/clean costumes, the awful CGI, 300 style slo-motion action, and also kinda looked like a Gladiator ripoff)

 

Oh, and those Adam Sandler movies.

 

Might make a top 10 of the year thread sometime in January.

Edited December 30, 2014 by Ozymandias