DAJKS's (And Everyone Else's) Worst of 2014 (baumer starts pg 6)

[DAJK]

#8 Worst Movie of 2014

Ride Along

 

The reason that this movie is entirely forgettable; the real "crime" this movie commits is that it is just not funny. I mean, I completely forgot that I saw it until a few days ago. Nothing about Ride Along is memorable, other than its trailer, which included every single funny scene in the movie.  We all know (well, many of us know, since comedy is subjective) that Kevin Hart is a funny guy, and while I don't think hi shtick has gotten tired yet, he can't carry a movie entirely on his shoulders, by just doing the same thing over and over again. And while it's evident that Ice Cube also has some comedic talent (22 Jump Street anyone?), he isn't given anything funny to do in Ride Along. The movie is so paint-by-numbers, that not only did I know where the story was going, but I knew every joke before it hit. I'm not surprised this became a hit, as like I said before, comedy is subjective (example: I liked A Million Ways to Die In the West) and on top of being an unfunny film, it is a bland and slow film as well.  

[DAJK]

#7 Worst Movie of 2014

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

 

Speaking of paint-by-numbers, this spy thriller went from something that could have been really cool to something kind of boring. While I must applaud Chris Pine and Kenneth Brannah in their performances, there wasn't much else in this movie that is recommendable. While I like Brannah, and his performance in the film was good, the direction of this film was a little "all over the place". There is nothing new here, and the film's pacing is way off; many key scenes are just glossed over, while others drag on. And when I say drag on, I really mean it. This film feels at least half an hour longer than it was, and it didn't need to. The plot is simple enough, and with a better script and better direction, this could have been a very solid movie. There are scenes in the film that I just couldn't get over, where the characters come to certain conclusions, without the film providing sufficient evidence for the audience. Also, unlike some other movie experiences such as Lone Survivor or Birdman, I didn't feel like I was a part of the movie at all, but rather sitting in a theatre with a bunch of other people watching a screen. And while the action towards the end of the movie is entertaining, the movie looses any of the wit it had in the first two acts.

[Empire]

I actually really liked Muppets Most Wanted and gave it an A. I might like it more than The Muppets. Oh, and I like Jack Ryan to and gave it a B/B-.

[DAJK]

I actually really liked Muppets Most Wanted and gave it an A. I might like it more than The Muppets. Oh, and I like Jack Ryan to and gave it a B/B-.

One of those situations where I'm staring at my screen smiling, but not entirely sure how to respond do I ask for your top 10 worst list...? I have no clue what the social conduct is.

I must admit that neither of these are truly terrible films, but rather just extremely disappointing. Once I get past the next film on my list, that is where they stop being "meh" or "disappointing" to "this film is truly awful and is a smack in the face to cinema"

Although I think many will disagree on my #2 choice...

[Empire]

I will post my worst list after I see a few more films.

[Ethan Hunt]

I liked Jack Ryan,

[DAJK]

#6 Worst Movie of 2014

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I can't really criticize Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for what we all knew was going to be awful about the film; and that is Megan Fox. She isn't the reason this is #6 on the list, but my God is she terrible. I'm not going to get into the whole "how does Megan Fox still get work" discussion, as there are already a few answers floating around that are basically implied when you look at her. She is just a terrible actress. Okay, besides that, Ninja Turtles isn't much of a fun film. The effects are good, and there is some funny banter between the turtles, and that's about it. I was a pretty big fan of the Turtles when I was younger; I watched the TV shows, the old movies, I even had some of the MegaBlocks sets (yes, I said MegaBlocks... I didn't say I was proud of it). The shaky can bothered me throughout the film, as it was used even during the non-action scenes! And how the script handled some of the "twists" in the film was just laughable. It wasn't Saturday morning cartoon bad (as that is kind of what I was hoping for... a fun live-action cartoon), at least cartoons at least treat the audience like they are slightly intelligent. What bothered me most was that even though I love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I didn't like this movie (yes yes that's my fault) but honestly, the movie could learn a few lessons from Brad Bird and The Incredibles about cross-generational appeal. The little boys loved it, and I mean LOVED it (those under say, 10 years old) but their parents were all howling with laughter during many of the cringe-worthy scenes. Like Muppets Most Wanted, Ninja Turtles obviously did its job in pleasing kids, but that doesn't mean it's a good film does it? If you like the movie, I completely understand; my best friend loves it and it's on his top 10 of the year for sure. 

[Ethan Hunt]

Haven't seen Turtles yet.

[Kalo]

Haven't seen Turtles yet.

I actually liked it. not great. but I was entertained while watching B. 

[Empire]

Haven't seen Turtles yet.

I didn't care for it much, but I think you would like it.

[DAJK]

#5 Worst Movie of 2014

Transcendence

Wow was this movie BORING. I should have known something was up when I was the only person in the theatre. Seriously, this movie was just... honestly I don't even remember much of it. Something about Johnny Depp and a computer, and terrorists... Morgan Freeman... it's all just a blurr. I wasn't interested in the film at all; the plot becomes absurd, the acting is not memorable, and the direction is bad. The real crime is that Transcendence could have been good! The trailers were decent and the concept was one that could tell some cool stories. However, this film failed on so many levels. It wasn't entirely the pacing's fault that the film bored me half to death (much of the blame can go to the storytelling itself) but the pacing was just off. The movie moved so slowly, and scenes that may have been important were dragged out to unnecessary length. The effects themselves were not terrible, but not memorable either, and the action was boring. Honestly, I can't even remember how the film ended. I'm not surprised this film bombed, but the low opening weekend surprised me. I thought it would at least open to 20M, then fall off accordingly...

[DAJK]

#4 Worst Movie of 2014

The November Man

 

And I thought Jack Ryan was bland and uninspired... then I saw this movie. My friend and I watched this when I spent a week in Vancouver; and we're not the type of people who turn off movies halfway through. Well, we made an exception for this incredible dull spy "thriller". There was nothing on display to keep our attention, and some scenes were just laughably bad. Sure, it may be great for some people to see Pierce Brosnan back in the spy genre (but I'm not the person who cares, as I never saw any of his Bond movies). The story is incredibly stupid and forgettable, the acting is "whatever" and even the action is entirely forgettable. For a few days I hadn't bothered to even watch the rest of the movie, but decided to just finish it before I went back home; hopefully to find some redeemable qualities (also because I couldn't really include it on a "worst of 2014" list without even seeing the whole thing). It doesn't get any better. The direction remains amateurish, the script is still just as absurd, and the movie still sucks.

Edited January 2, 2015 by DAJK

[DAJK]

this that post come out weird to anyone else? From my computer, I see it double spaced, and the title is just a           but with no words ontop...

[Empire]

Your November Man post? It looks fine to me.

[DAJK]

Your November Man post? It looks fine to me.

That's weird... it looks fine on my iPod but not on the computer... must be something wrong with my computer...

[DAJK]

#3 Worst Movie of 2014

I Frankenstein

 

I almost saw this in theatres... can you believe that? The only reason I didn't was my parents were supposed to drive me, and they were late picking me up, so I thought "why bother if I missed the first 15 minutes?" Well I can safely say that I saved 10 bucks that day; this movie isn't even worth half that. I watched it many months later with a friend, and if anyone here watches JeremyJahns' videos, you'll know what I'm about to say. He got it right on the nose, and that is even if I Frankenstein can be seen as a guilty pleasure movie, that does not mean it's any good, at all. This movie is terrible, and while I can say with certainty that I wasn't at all bored while watching it, that doesn't mean I wasn't laughing at the stupidity of the plot, and the absurdity of the premise. Aron Eckhart wasn't the problem with this movie; much the same way Ryan Reynolds wasn't the problem with Deadpool in X-Men Origins Wolverine; the rest of the movie around him is just covered in layers upon layers of pure dumb-ness. The CGI is dreary, the action sequences are inconsistent (some are admittedly fine, some are hard to follow), and the "twists" this movie takes aren't even twists. You can't call something a plot twist if either A) you saw it coming from a mile away or B ) you really don't care. I was initially disappointed when I saw that this movie flopped worldwide, as I thought I Frankenstein could have some cool franchise potential, but after seeing the movie, I'm glad it flopped, as now I don't have to worry about seeing another one of these movies.

Edited January 2, 2015 by DAJK

[Ethan Hunt]

Pretty sure I know what both #2 and #1 are.

[DAJK]

#2 Worst Movie of 2014

Godzilla

 

I wanted to love this movie so bad, maybe even more so that Muppets. Many many many other people loved it, and I feel like the odd one out. Nevertheless, my opinions aren't based on those of other people, but rather my personal experience with the movie; so I'm going to say it. Godzilla sucked. And honestly, if anyone of you wish to quote me on this, I liked the 1998 version better, which is saying something. Honestly, almost everything about this movie was terrible; the acting was wooden, the plot was absurd, the action wasn't even all that fun. Spoilers ahead so... yeah

 

The scene where Ken Watannabe said in the iconic fashion "we call it... Gojira" was just laughably bad. I know that it is a throwback to the classic Godzilla films, but come on! He's an Oscar nominated actor and now he's in this... whatever. The execution here was just bad. The scene where Aaron Taylor Johnson's character is about to get eaten by the MUTO, and he pulls out his piston as if he's about to shoot it? Oh please; what were the filmmakers thinking? Also, where Godzilla kills the final MUTO by breathing down it's throat was awesome, but terrible at the same time. The scenes with no Godzilla action were flat out boring, and the scenes with that action were so absurdly stupid that I couldn't help but laugh with the rest of the audience in my screening. 

 

The film did have one or two redeeming qualities, but one of those makes me angrier at the film, and that is a waste of potential. Godzilla had potential! Watching the film, I can tell that Gareth Edwards is a talented filmmaker, as he sets up make shots extremely well, and is a master or atmosphere, creating tense environments within the film. It was so disappointing to see his talent wasted here. Also, the premise of Godzilla itself can tell some fun stories, yet this wasn't one of them. The beginning of the movie hinted at a tense, yet campy and fun action-disaster film (which is what I want from Godzilla), but it didn't deliver. The reason I (might) check out the second installment is because of the simple potential this franchise has. And I will admit, I was with the film until (SPOILER) Bryan Cranston's character died. I'm not saying "you killed Cranston? I hate you!" but rather once his character was gone, that was where the film took a nosedive into stupidity.

[DAJK]

#1 Worst Movie of 2014

Transformers: Age of Extinction (by a long shot)

 

There were two ways I was thinking of starting this, so I'll just go with my first idea. I'm not a Michael Bay hater; I really like some of his films... but not this one...

 

This movie was hilarious! I went with two other friends; one of whom showed up 10 minutes in and said "I just got your text. You promised explosions." At the end of the movie as we were getting up he said (not in an angry way towards me at least) "don't ever ask me to see another explosion ever again." This movie was just... wow... this movie... hmm...

Near the beginning, I was thnking to myself "wow, I'm gonna half to tell them at the end that I liked this movie" but after that first car chase sequence, this movie just became terrible. I thought Godzilla was bad! Transformers makes Godzilla look like Edge of Tomorrow and Guardians of the Galaxy crossover! Where do I start? The acting was bad (and I mean BAD), the plot was dumb, the action was hard to watch, the script went nowhere, the characters were ridiculous. Seriously; these characters should have died a million times. That Romeo and Juliet scene... oh my god!

The movie tried to be funny and failed miserably. The only things I laughed at was how stupid the movie was. My friends and I were alone in the theatre as it was a Wednesday matinee except for a middle-aged couple, who were also laughing and making jokes at the movie's expense. (EDIT: there was ONE scene that was intentionally funny in my opinion, and that was where Stanley Tucci said "how do you say get the f*** out of my way in Chinese?" but by then my expectations were so low). And if the movie had been 90 minutes long, I could have given it a 3 or 4/10, saying "it was terrible, but the effects were good, and it was short and mildly entertaining" but NO. This movie goes on for 3 HOURS! I checked my phone in the movie to see what time it was, my friend looked over at me, and I said "there's still over an hour left." Honestly, why on Earth did this become the biggest movie of 2014 (and don't anyone dare say China even if it is the answer). 

I want to go on, but my thoughts are so jumbled right now, and I can't think straight about this movie. It is mind-nummingly bad. Just truly awful. At least it was funny... in a bad way...

 

Anyways, thank you to everyone who took the time to red my list of the worst movies of 2014. I'm sure a lot of you disagree with my opinions, but obviously that's okay!   And thanks to Panda for starting this thread! I'm not sure who's up next, but take the reigns my friend!

[Avatree]

Godzilla was bad but not even close to Transformers. TF4 is the worst movie I've seen in years.