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Blank's 28 Movies of 2014 That Will Be Way Better Than The Oscars Choices Because The Oscars Suck This Year (TOP 5!)

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Release Date: June 13, 2014

Director: Phil Lord and Chris Miller

Runtime: 112 min

Rated: R         

Tomatometer: 84%

IMDB Score: 7.2/10

BOT Average Rating: B (89.4%)

Available on DVD and Blu-Ray.




This year, Phil Lord and Chris Miller released two movies to critical acclaim. However, right now, there’s only time to talk about one of them. The best R-rated comedy of the year, 22 Jump Street perfectly mixes direction and improv to create something truly magical. Now, it’s no secret that I love 21 Jump Street, but honestly, after a recent rewatch of it, I actually think its sequel tops it. Taking what’s so great about the first movie (the relationship between Jenko and Schmidt, the meta-references, and the off-the-wall humor) to the next level, 22 Jump Street is the rare sequel to go big or go home that actually succeeds. This is mainly due to them grounding the story in the friendship of Jenko and Schmidt, giving them actual character development compared to most R-rated comedies. These guys are friends first and foremost, and as the sequel challenges their friendship, it ultimately allows them to grow closer together.


But enough about how sweet the movie is and how it has a heart: 22 Jump Street is fucking hilarious. The slam poetry. The chase scene. The meta-references. OH MY GOD THE META-REFERENCES. I’m trying to avoid clips for this part of the countdown, but you know what? I just have to embed the end credits of the movie as it is by and far the funniest part of the movie, and that’s not even an insult. Other massive improvements from the first one: gonna be blunt, Ice Cube really isn’t even that funny in 21 Jump Street. In this though, they give him a great subplot about his daughter and his scenes are frequently the most hysterical. Channing Tatum has been improving more and more as an actor (if I had seen it in time, Foxcatcher would’ve been in the teens) and honestly, his big scene (you know which one I’m talking about if you’ve seen this) absolutely kills. The one place this movie doesn’t improve on the first one is the drug tripping scene and the lack of a secondary character as funny as Dave Franco, but you know what? Lord Miller stack the movie with enough laughs, heart, and madcap energy to make you go along for the ride and never stop laughing on the way.


Edited by Blankments
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Release Date: April 4, 2014

Director: Anthony Russo and Joe Russo

Runtime: 136 min

Rated: PG-13

Tomatometer: 89%

IMDB Score: 7.8/10

BOT Average Rating: A (91.8%)

Available on DVD and Blu-Ray.




Wow, what a shock! I’m a Marvel fanboy and look, the first of two Marvel Studios on my list shows up in the top ten. I actually think Captain America: The Winter Soldier is about on par with the first Captain America, but I love love love First Avenger way more than most people do for its pulpy goodness, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise. That said, Winter Soldier adds a lot more interesting stuff for the Marvel universe than other recent films in the main Avengers line. Acting… well, Chris Evans is good once again as Captain America, but the character who finally comes into on her own is Scarlett Johannsson’s Black Widow. After being built up in Iron Man 2 and The Avengers, Black Widow is Marvel’s only heroine at the moment who remains a pretty complex character who looks like she’ll be getting big focus next year. On characters introduced in this movie, Anthony Mackie is very charismatic as the Falcon, almost too charismatic. By that I mean, WHY ISN’T HE IN AGE OF ULTRON??? He beats War Machine in charisma and interesting aspects in a single feature. I digress. Other highlights character-wise is Robert Redford’s villain and Winter Soldier’s pure badassness.


However, where this Marvel movie truly excels is the story and direction. Taking on the tone of a political thriller, this movie is always fascinating to watch, even if you know the whole plotline going into it. The now famous HYDRA twist is fantastically executed with Toby Jones’ one-scene-wonder role, which I’m pretty sure made Wally Pfister cry the minute he saw it. This movie though… the action! The car chase scene with Nick Fury! The elevator fight! Any Winter Soldier fight! It’s like a relentless onslaught of badassness and I’ve already used that word but I don’t care! The Russo Bros. make their action film debut in glorious style, and even though, yes, at points, it feels like diet Greengrass, but you know what? There’s no way Greengrass is ever going to do a superhero movie so I’m okay with that. Captain America: The Winter Soldier is the best superhero movie of the year, even if Tele has issues with it. The action, character work, and worldbuilding is too great for the Marvel Cinematic Universe for it to be any lower, and let’s face it: it’s a damn fine movie too.


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Release Date: April 25, 2014

Director: Steven Knight

Runtime: 84 min            

Rated: R

Tomatometer: 91%

IMDB Score: 7.1/10

BOT Average Rating: A (97.3%)

Available on DVD and Blu-Ray.




You know how I just knocked Tele for hating Winter Soldier? Well, he was right about this one. Locke is one of the most tense, most emotional movies of the year, and it’s all set in a single car! Ivan sums the movie up the best: “You make one mistake, Donal, one little fucking mistake, and the whole world comes crashing down around you.” This is a movie about how everything can fall apart quickly, and yet, we can still find hope in the little things. It’s a short movie, only 84 minutes long, and yet, as it feels incredibly excruciating for Ivan Locke, we feel trapped in a long, long drive, in a good way. I honestly think this is a movie surviving on only two people: writer-director Steven Knight’s tight script and direction and, of course, Tom Hardy and his magnificent performance.


Knight has made a movie that’s set in a single car and made it incredibly tense. There have been some comments that Locke can be a stage play, and I agree with that. However, if you remember from my worst of the year list, I despised Magic in the Moonlight for feeling like a stageplay Woody Allen just decided to film. Why does Locke work then? Well, to be blunt, Knight actually knows how to direct a movie, cutting and holding shots just long enough for impact but just short enough for proper flow. However, a majority of this write-up is going to be praising Tom Hardy, and for good reason. Although he is my second favorite lead male performance of the year, he has an infinitely harder job than my #1 (which will be coming up soon). He has to act alone, with only voices to respond to. Heck, I’m not even sure if the voices with proper inflection were there when he was acting! He manages to make us both hate and feel sorry for Locke, as Locke’s world crashes down around him in glorious hellfire. You can’t take your eyes off Ivan, and thanks to Hardy’s magnetic performance. There’s really not much to say about Locke, with its short runtime, but Locke has plenty to say with such time, being tense and emotional enough to be one of the best of the year.



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Locke is a great movie that really works because of Hardy's fantastic performance. Knight's direction is good too, but that would be basically all for naught without a great actor like Hardy giving a great performance.

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22 Jump Street falls a bit below the first for me.

I'll admit that I was a bit apprehensive of stating 22 was better than the original, but I just kinda went with it because I rewatched 21 more recently and was surprised by how less funny it was

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I'll admit that I was a bit apprehensive of stating 22 was better than the original, but I just kinda went with it because I rewatched 21 more recently and was surprised by how less funny it was


Jenko's reaction to Schmidt sleeping with Ice Cube's daughter is probably the best bit in either of the films, Tatum really sells the earnest goofball comedy reaction there. It's a very Chris Pratt kind of scene from Parks and Rec.

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Jenko's reaction to Schmidt sleeping with Ice Cube's daughter is probably the best bit in either of the films, Tatum really sells the earnest goofball comedy reaction there. It's a very Chris Pratt kind of scene from Parks and Rec.

That and the slam poetry scene is what really made 22 Jump Street place above over the first in my mind. Two absolutely hilarious scenes that totally work thanks to their actors' talent at comedy.

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Release Date: August 1, 2014

Director: James Gunn

Runtime: 122 min          

Rated: PG-13

Tomatometer: 91%

IMDB Score: 8.2/10

BOT Average Rating: A (90.6%)

Available on DVD and Blu-Ray.




This is probably a huge surprise to people. Not that I have this so high; rather, I think most people were expecting this in my top five. Just goes to show how great this year was for cinema. Guardians of the Galaxy is the best summer blockbuster this year, the perfect definition of a fun ride. Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way first: the action is incredibly mediocre, especially when you compare it to Winter Soldier. Also... well, that’s about it on the negative side. This movie survives on its characters basically. Peter Quill, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, and Groot are all great in their own ways. Peter Quill, played impeccably by Chris Pratt, is a lot of fun, basically a dorky Han Solo (notably not better than him though; still can’t believe that was an actual discussion). Gamora is a badass woman, and the only serious Guardian. She joins Black Widow on great Marvel heroines, but yet, it took her one movie when it took Black Widow three. Drax is a guy who you wouldn’t expect to be hilarious, but honestly, ends up being the real comic relief of the movie. Rocket has more pathos than you’d ever expect a talking raccoon to have, and honestly, Bradley Cooper’s voice work is some of the best work he’s ever done period. Finally, Groot… is Groot. Everyone knows he is by now so why bother describing?


Why is this movie so great though? I’m gonna have to give credit to James Gunn (although his recent comments on the Oscars have got me a bit annoyed, but I digress). He fills the movie with a great counterculture feel where it’s all about character interactions and the jokes. I didn’t mention him earlier, but honestly, the real best actor in this is Michael Rooker, whose Yondu completely steals the show. The interactions with the characters often feel quite organic, and let’s be honest, it’s near impossible to pick a favorite Guardian. Heck, Jandrew’s favorite character is Nebula, and I can’t even fault him for it. The worldbuilding done in this movie is also nice in the sense that it doesn’t even feel like a Marvel movie. That’s the best compliment I can give Guardians: even though it blatantly follows the Marvel Studios template, it still feels surprisingly fresh thanks to it not even being a superhero movie. Guardians of the Galaxy is the entertaining and heartfelt blockbuster summer 2014 needed and deserved, one that certainly deserves all the success it has received.



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Posting top 5 tomorrow: here's a recap though!


Best of the year:


28. Big Eyes

27. A Most Wanted Man

26. The Grand Budapest Hotel

25. Big Hero 6

24. The Raid 2

23. The Book of Life

22. John Wick

21. Noah

20. Into the Woods

19. Gone Girl

18. X-Men: Days of Future Past

17. St. Vincent

16. We Are The Best!

15. The One I Love

14. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

13. How to Train Your Dragon 2

12. Snowpiercer

11. The Interview

10. Grand Piano

9. 22 Jump Street

8. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

7. Locke

6. Guardians of the Galaxy


Honorable Mentions:


Edge of Tomorrow

The Equalizer

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Mr. Peabody and Sherman



Worst of the year:


14. This is Where I Leave You

13. Unbroken

12. Obvious Child

11. Muppets Most Wanted

10. Veronica Mars

9. The Identical

8. Maleficent

7. Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas

6. The Double

5. The Nut Job

4. Magic in the Moonlight

3. Happy Christmas

2. The Amazing Spider-Man 2

1. Left Behind


Dishonorable Mentions:


The 78 Project Movie

Dear Mr. Watterson


Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb



Take a wild guess on the top five!

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