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Rorschach

Rorschach Reviews Y10

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    January

    Heads or Tails- B-

    A pretty interesting concept to say the least.

    The Cube- C+

    It's fascinating, you know, when Jesse Eisenberg's obnoxious narration isn't constantly attacking the movie's quality.

    The Good, the Bad, and the Mechanical- B+

    An incredibly fun take on Spaghetti Westerns. Bruce Campbell, like always, is amazing as the lead and Arnie surprisingly works incredibly well. Very curious to see where the next film might take us in terms of the direction of the story.

    Two Lonely Zookeepers- D+

    Feels more like an incredibly generic YA novel than a compelling Drama.

    Timmy's Winter Vacation- B-

    Pretty much about the same in quality as Minnie's Summer Vacation.

    1989- D

    Ugh. Enough already.

    Ophidiphobia- F/A+

    Completely illogical from beginning to end but bad enough to be very enjoyable.

    Edited by Imperator Rorschach
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    February

    Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney- Part 2- A-

    It's kind of a relieving to finally see a mystery so far after having read through so many fillers, action movies, and sub-par dramas this trimester. It actually makes the movie feel a little more fresh and original then just another adapted work, and I really like it for that. Probably the best film so far this year (at least from what I've read).

    Moses- C-

    So yeah, apparently the Hebrews walked from some place in Egypt (I forget the name of the city the Pharoah lives but I know for a fact it is very close by the Nile River) to the Red Sea and it took them about maybe 30-40 years to do so, at an incredibly sluggish pace, long enough for Joseph Gordon-Levitt to change to Ben Kingsley (It would've been funny if Bruce Willis played older Moses). I haven't read the story in a while, but I know it really only took them about a couple months to make it to the Red Sea.

    Also, I'm thinking about maybe pushing The Odyssey back to next year. That way, I can at least have Peter Jackson directing the trilogy like I had originally invisioned.

    That Was a Long Time Ago- C

    It's a fairly standard cookie-cutter drama. I could predict some of the events that were gonna happen about a mile away and it made the movie a lot more boring as a result.

    The Disappointment- F

    I'll tell you my exact thoughts in about five words.

    It makes no fucking sense

    The Executioner- C

    Meh. Generic action film.

    Edited by Imperator Rorschach
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    Yeah the 40 years of wandering happened after crossing the Red Sea

    I'd like to think Films meant for the casting change to happen after the Red Sea scene and placed it earlier by mistake. Still pretty funny imagining Moses getting stuck looking for the Red Sea for decades on end.

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    I'd like to think Films meant for the casting change to happen after the Red Sea scene and placed it earlier by mistake. Still pretty funny imagining Moses getting stuck looking for the Red Sea for decades on end.

     

    They manage to find the Black Sea, White Sea, and Yellow Sea first.

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    March

    Jurassic Knights- B+

    It's a little too familiar at times but the action, good acting, and epic climax make for an overall satisfying experience.

    Rhino Riders- C

    Considering that this came out around the same time as the film above, I'm willing to give it a small pass for some of the similarities. That being said, it is incredibly cliched and doesn't usually deliver as well as it should in the dramatic moments. However, the visual effects are great to look at and the stuntwork is incredible to watch.

    Second to Singapore- C-

    A typical stoner-buddy movie but without many laughs or chuckle-worthy moments to make it a comedy.

    On a Mountain- C+

    It isn't very deep nor does it have much character development but damn it, the action scenes are entertaining as hell so I'm willing to give what I said a pass.

    E.S.P.- B+

    In a lot of ways, it is very similar to Big Hero 6, and I mean that in the best way possible. The action is good, the chemistry between the characters is also really great, and it presented some really fascinating concepts and ideas that not many films these days explore a lot. I also really found the character of Major to be a really fascinating person and his character arc and motivation made him the highlight of the movie, for me at least. However, the story at times is a little slow and the action, at times, isn't as captivating and or that memorable. Also, I found the reveal of the main bad guy in the movie to be quite weak and a bit of an afterthought (similar to many of the Marvel movies). Still, the movie delivers a great and heartfelt story that left me wanting more and more.

    Edited by Imperator Rorschach
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    April (probably the best month so far)

    Russian Roulette- B-

    I'll admit, it has a lot of problems but overall, I liked the cast, the setting and most of the action scenes were fun and entertaining. It ends pretty abruptly though which disappointed me considering I was really invested in the plot. Flawed but fun.

    Crusader- A-

    The pacing is a bit sluggish at times but by the end of it all, I was loving every single bloody and merciless minute of it.

    Ciaphas Cain- B

    I was originally going to give it a B- (I really couldn't get into it unfortunately) but decided to bump it up a grade because...

    Eva Green

    :D (She is to me what Emily Blunt is to the rest of you)

    Daisy Lemonade- D

    Needed more Mecha-Hitler.

    MST3K: Expedecade- A-

    Not quite as funny as the Thomas the Tank Engine review. That being said, it's still really, really funny.

    Kensington- B+

    A competentely made thriller with some surprisingly good acting from all of the unknowns and memorable imagery.

    Edited by Imperator Rorschach
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    Back for more? Good...

    Run and Gun 2

    I don't exactly remember reading this back in Year 8. Well, it doesn't really matter because you whether you saw the first film or not, you are still very likely to get a kick out of this movie. Some great action set pieces and crazy stunt work make this a must-watch for action movie fans alike.

    B

    On the Record

    Out of all the genres in existence, the musical is probably one of the ones I consider to be my least favorite ones (but certainly not the worst). On the Record, however, is one of those rare instances where I actually get a kick out of the musical numbers as well as the story. It's nothing special but definitely entertaining from beginning to end.

    B-

    Forty-Five Seconds of Glory

    Being a sucker for these kinds of stories, it was kind of hard for me not to be invested throughout the whole film.

    B-

    Attack of the Movies

    An interesting premise with some genuinely funny moments is let down by a lackluster cast ranging from Michael Peña good to Kevin James bad.

    C+

    Edited by Cheese
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    Monster Hunter

    Further proof that the Rock is always cooking up a great movie.

    B+

    Shia LaBeouf: The Movie

    Devoid of any real structure, care, or anything resembling entertainment in the slightest. Burn it with fire.

    Z

    City Launcher/World Builder

    What can I say that no one else has? It's dull, uninteresting, and Neeson is totally miscast. So yeah, pretty much a C&P of everyone else's thoughts. Not much to add.

    D

    Runaway Man

    A competently shot thriller but doesn't do much to really stand out.

    B-

    Edited by Cheese
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    The Dresden Files: Fool Moon

    RDJ knocks it out of the park but as a wizard instead of a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Great action, fantastic effects, and intriguing lore all make Fool Moon a must-watch.

    B+

    All Kinds of Bull

    The thought of Brad Pitt wanting to do this movie is a mystery not even the world's greatest detectives could figure out.

    C-

    The Lazy River Squad

    *Watches as Zac Efron's movie career is flushed down the toilet* What a shame -_-

    F

    Edited by Cheese
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    Day of the Tentacle

    It's stupid but it's the kind of stupid that you enjoy watching.

    B

    Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Adventure Begins

    My lack of knowledge of the Mystery Dungeon series didn't exactly help the movie in form possible. However, as a former die-hard fan of Pokemon, I found the read to be a good reminder of why I loved the franchise so much as a little kid. Good times back then.

    B-

    The Throne of Fire

    A great improvement over its predecessor. Really glad it was shortened it up this time around.

    B

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