Baumer's best 42 films of 2016 (and 12 worst) and Ruk's breakdown of 2016 films (Finished!)

[rukaio101]

65. Dad's Army

 

 

Okay, those of you in America/outside of Britain may be wondering exactly what this is. Dad’s Army was a British sitcom than ran in the 1960’s/70’s about a bumbling group of British Home Guard soldiers during WWII (The Home Guard largely consisted of local volunteers otherwise ineligible for military service and thus remained in Britain). It’s largely considered a classic sitcom in Britain and I myself watched it quite a lot when I was growing up. (Not the original run, mind. It was put on repeat a lot. I’m 21, not 50.) So I will admit to possibly having some nostalgia goggles on, but believe me when I say that this modern adaptation is a piece of horse shit.

 

There are a lot of problems with this movie, from the predicable story, to the flat jokes, to the ridiculous finale, but I think the main reason it failed to capture the spirit of the original series is that it feels a bit too… well… cinematic, if that makes sense. The original series had a grounded British charm that worked because the jokes/characters/story was very down to earth and simple. This movie feels glossy, overly-Hollywoodised with a ridiculous climax that turns the aging bumbling characters into action stars. It just does not work and misses the magic that made the original series so enjoyable.

 

Like with Suicide Squad, I’ll give definite props to the actors for trying their hardest, but they couldn’t save this lousy movie.

[rukaio101]

64. The BFG

 

 

Sigh. This movie had everything going for it to be fantastic. A classic Roahl Dahl story. Mark Rylance starring. And of course, Spielberg at the helm. So why did it end up as such a bore for me?

 

If I had to guess, I’d say that the problem is the filmmakers didn't put enough thought into how best to translate Dahl's short children's book in a way that fits the constraints and structures of a feature film. As a result it honestly feels a bit too… well, juvenile. And I know that’s kind of a silly complaint coming from a kids movie, but Spielberg has more than proven enough in the past that he’s capable of creating kids movies that adults can enjoy just fine. Here though? Not so much. The BFG is pretty much a one joke character and that joke is that he makes up the most dodictiosly malligamatic words from whatever jumpifies off his cranium. And while that’s charming in a short children’s book, it’s something that gets old very fast in a full feature film (Christ, it got old while I was typing it out). It’s also difficult to take the giants at all seriously as antagonists when their first scene is complaining about a ‘boo boo’. And the climax with the Queen, while again hilarious for a short kids book, comes off as a massive anti-climax narratively and the movie’s attempts to milk tension and drama from the BFG deciding to reveal himself just felt forced.

 

Now again, sure, you can knock me for complaining about childish elements in a kids film, but the movie quite clearly tries to have it both ways. There are several scenes that are meant to be atmospheric and appreciated by adults as well as kids, such as the wishing tree or the fate of the BFG’s last friend. But the problem was, I’d been turned off so much by everything else that none of those moments resonated with me the way that the film clearly wanted them to. Instead, some of those scenes just came off as incredibly dull.

 

All in all, yeah I may be being a bit hard on a product clearly meant for children. But damn it, I expect better from kids films these days and I especially expect better from Steven fucking Spielberg.

[rukaio101]

63. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find them

 

 

Welp, I’ve already pissed off all the DC and BFG fans on this forum, might as well take some shots at the Potterheads as well. Honestly, I’m actually a relatively big fan of the Harry Potter book series, but the movies have always left me a little… well… cold. They’re good movies, mind, no doubt about that (Hell, I’d call them one of the better adaptations of a novel series out there). But like with the first two Hunger Games, while there was a lot of stuff I did like, I just never really connected with them in the way that I do with a lot of my favourites. (Although, oddly enough, I really enjoyed Philosopher’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets, which a lot of people demean as the worst in the series.)

 

This movie on the other hand… is not very good. It suffers from what has been a relatively common problem in a lot of lousier blockbusters this year. Too much plot. Really, the movie should’ve just been about finding the titular Fantastic Beasts, but the movie insists on shoving in another story about a reused Dementor effect on steroids- Sorry, I mean ‘an Obscurus’. And then there's stuff about Grindelwald and Dan Fogler wanting a bakery and some political BS about No-Majs and a wizard/witch hating cult and etc etc. And, quite frankly, the movie just doesn’t have room to flesh them out properly. It’s especially bad because, like with several of the plots in BvS, The Fantastic Beasts story and the Obscurus story never really interact for 90% of the movie. Thus when the movie does try to bring the two sides together in the climax, it doesn’t work because half the characters have barely even met.

 

As for the acting, it’s a mixed bag. Dan Fogler brings a lot of charm and fun to his performance and Colin Farrell is effortlessly badass (to the point where I wish he was returning for the sequels), but I can’t say I was fond of the rest. Eddie Redmayne isn’t an actor I’m that fond of and plays the character as too introverted to really work as the movie’s lead, especially in a larger and more interesting ensemble. I get the impression they really should’ve gotten an actor like Doctor Who’s Matt Smith (who at times Redmayne felt like a weak imitation of), who can play odd and antisocial characters but with fits of manic energy and passion that would’ve worked so much better here. Ezra Miller is also pretty poorly miscast. I’ve accepted older actors/actresses playing teenagers before, but the ‘child Credence’ clearly looks 20-something in all his scenes and his design makes him look too emo to really take seriously. Also, someone get a tissue for Katherine Waterstone because she is clearly about to burst into tears in every scene.

 

The directing is just bland, the CGI is obvious, the colour feels like it’s been sucked out and ultimately the movie feels too dreary and drab for what should’ve been a relatively exciting romp through a new side of the Wizarding World. I mean, a movie about finding mysterious beasts let loose in New York seems like it should be a fun affair, but the movie seems so desperate to tack on this other dark, serious, major story in the Harry Potter mythos that just does not fit to the point where the two sides are actively hurting each other in their search for a middle ground. The fun Beast-finding adventure feels too dark and dreary and the dark, serious Obscurus story feels too goofy at times and lacks the time needed to give it actual weight.

 

So yeah, as far as franchise starters go, this was not a good one. Mainly because it didn’t know what it wanted to be. A fun exploration of magical beasts or a dark mythological story with far-reaching implications across the magical world? Pick one or the other because it can’t be both.

[rukaio101]

62. The Red Turtle

 

 

Yeah, this is pretty much the Princess Kaguya of the year for me. Aka, that one foreign animated movie that everyone else who sees it adores completely and I really probably should like but for one reason or another it just simply didn’t work for me. Which is a shame because it was one of my more anticipated films of this year.

 

See, the thing with this movie is that it’s very much about the atmosphere it tries to create. There’s zero dialogue, a fairly basic score and the animation, while very nice, is also very simple. It’s clearly trying to create an otherworldly sort of atmosphere and I’m certain, if you manage to get into said atmosphere, you’d probably enjoy it a fair bit. But if you don’t get into it, like I didn’t, it… well… kinda comes off as unceasingly dull. The drab colours, the basic characters, the somewhat repetitive scenery, I just ended up getting bored. It’s kinda telling that my thoughts when walking out the cinema weren’t about the clearly supposed-to-be-heart-wrenching finale. Instead I was wondering why exactly was the turtle was bugging him in the first place. And yes, I got that it’s supposed to be a fairy tale/mythological-styled story where such questions don’t really need answers. I’ve watched other movies that did the same and accepted them straight off. But because this movie didn’t draw me in properly, my mind just kept getting drawn to the imperfections and unanswered questions. Now, despite with my relative detachment to the whole thing, I will admit there were a number of genuinely harrowing scenes in the movie, but those by and large felt massively overshadowed by the rest feeling dull and uninteresting. So yeah, that was a bit of disappointment for me.

 

However, despite this movie ranking this low on my personal list, honestly.... I’d still kinda recommend it. It is definitely something unique and worth watching and, while the atmosphere didn’t really manage to draw me in, I’d can’t deny it does have an atmosphere. Just not one that worked for me.

[rukaio101]

61. Triple 9

 

 

Boy, this movie sure… exists, doesn’t it? Yup, just goes right along there existing…

 

Okay, I honestly completely forgot this movie existed until I saw it on a list of films released in 2016. All I remember is that it had a great cast that was kinda wasted on a forgettable movie. It wasn't Never Go Back bad, just not that good either. And, of course, completely forgettable.

[chasmmi]

Let's just say that I like the comic book live action films mentioned so far a little more than you do

 

Killing Joke was, I agree not great though.

 

Dad's Army... I saw it on Sunday bizarrely and I really wanted to like it, but something was missing. Gambon was amazing as Godfrey, but otherwise, yeah, pretty mediocre at best. 

 

Beasts and BFG are also higher for me (It's hard for them to be lower to be fair).

 

The rest I haven't seen. 

[robertman2]

DC put out a good movie this year. Return of the Caped Crusaders was pretty fun

[Goffe]

2 hours ago, rukaio101 said:

64. The BFG

 

 

Sigh. This movie had everything going for it to be fantastic. A classic Roahl Dahl story. Mark Rylance starring. And of course, Spielberg at the helm. So why did it end up as such a bore for me?

 

If I had to guess, I’d say that the problem is the filmmakers didn't put enough thought into how best to translate Dahl's short children's book in a way that fits the constraints and structures of a feature film. As a result it honestly feels a bit too… well, juvenile. And I know that’s kind of a silly complaint coming from a kids movie, but Spielberg has more than proven enough in the past that he’s capable of creating kids movies that adults can enjoy just fine. Here though? Not so much. The BFG is pretty much a one joke character and that joke is that he makes up the most dodictiosly malligamatic words from whatever jumpifies off his cranium. And while that’s charming in a short children’s book, it’s something that gets old very fast in a full feature film (Christ, it got old while I was typing it out). It’s also difficult to take the giants at all seriously as antagonists when their first scene is complaining about a ‘boo boo’. And the climax with the Queen, while again hilarious for a short kids book, comes off as a massive anti-climax narratively and the movie’s attempts to milk tension and drama from the BFG deciding to reveal himself just felt forced.

 

Now again, sure, you can knock me for complaining about childish elements in a kids film, but the movie quite clearly tries to have it both ways. There are several scenes that are meant to be atmospheric and appreciated by adults as well as kids, such as the wishing tree or the fate of the BFG’s last friend. But the problem was, I’d been turned off so much by everything else that none of those moments resonated with me the way that the film clearly wanted them to. Instead, some of those scenes just came off as incredibly dull.

 

All in all, yeah I may be being a bit hard on a product clearly meant for children. But damn it, I expect better from kids films these days and I especially expect better from Steven fucking Spielberg.

 

BLASPHEMY!

[Goffe]

dp

Edited January 10, 2017 by Goffe

[The Panda]

The BFG was a cute and harmless B- movie.  For most directors, that's a compliment.  For Spielberg, that's a pretty harsh criticism from me, he definitely can do better.

[Goffe]

3 hours ago, rukaio101 said:

A fun exploration of magical beasts or a dark mythological story with far-reaching implications across the magical world? Pick one or the other because it can’t be both.

 

Disagree with this 100%. Save for rare exceptions, the better blockbuster will always blend the two effortlessly. If it didn't work it's because Yates is a bad director and JK had just written her first script. 

 

If they had to abandon one of the plot threads, I would let go of the beast parts, which bored me to death. Also, do we want all of our blockbusters to be silly romps? like 

Edited January 10, 2017 by Goffe

[Kalo]

3 hours ago, rukaio101 said:

69. Suicide Squad

 

 

THIS IS KATANA! SHE’S GOT MY BACK! I WOULD ADVISE NOT GETTING KILLED BY HER! HER SWORD TRAPS THE SOULS OF ITS VICTIMS!

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...Yeah, this movie really wasn't very good.

 

You know, if you had told me back in March that BvS wasn’t going to be the worst DCEU movie released this year, I genuinely would not have believed you. But David Ayer and the WB executives tried their little hearts out and gave us this biblical disaster of a franchise starter. Now, I’m not going to go into too much detail on this one because I want to possibly someday get around to doing a really in-depth look at it, but believe me when I say it’s a disaster on every level. Storytelling, characterisation, direction, pacing, editing, all dismal. It’s a movie that honestly misses the entire point of the Suicide Squad in favour of trying to half-heartedly rip off Guardians of the Galaxy/Avengers/its own trailers, while simultaneously missing the point of what made all of those things work so well. 

 

And honestly, I stand by saying that it’s worse than BvS. BvS for all its many many many many flaws at least felt like it had some ambition and that Snyder was trying to do something new. Certainly, he completely fucked up the execution on every level, but at least he was trying. Plus BvS at least felt somewhat structured. Suicide Squad feels closer to Fan4stic than an actual movie. It’s a completely muddled mess. And while a lot of blame certainly can go to the executives for meddling, there are clear signs of Ayer’s own fingerprints on the movie and his vision really is not much better. The sole positive thing I can say about it is that some of the actors (Will Smith) were certainly trying and some of the early Enchantress stuff was actually creepy/cool (at least before she went all CGI glossy Gods-of-Egypt and fucked it all up). I can't even say I liked it for the action. 90% of it felt like watching someone else play a boring third person shooter. Hell, even BvS delivered at least some entertaining action. This movie couldn't even manage that.

 

Honestly, I don’t particularly like picking on DC this much (…well, okay, maybe a little), but they’re just so bad at this. One MoS-level failure is unfortunate, two is a problem, three just makes me wonder if the studio was built on an ancient Indian burial ground or something. And it’s especially a shame because I honestly prefer most of DC’s heroes to Marvel’s. But the executives either clearly have no idea what to do with them or just put them in the hands of people who are clearly unsuited for the job. I’m hoping they get their act together for Wonder Woman, but at this rate, I’m really not going to be surprised if that movie ends up poorly as well. 

 

Speaking of...

 

You pretty much took the words out of my month, I was shocked at how awful this movie is, I kind of forced myself to enjoy some of it, but If I watched it again I'm not sure I would be so kind. it's definitely worse than BvS imo. it's painful, as a DC fan I can't believe WB has missed the ball this far.

[baumer]

Wow.  I can already see that our lists are going to conflict....quite a bit.

[baumer]

And so it begins.  The list for the top 42 films of the year and the worst 12.  How did I come up with such random numbers?  Glad you asked.  My top 42 films of 2016 are the ones I graded at least a 7 out of 10 and my bottom 12 are films that ranked at 5 or lower.  I will try to make this list fun, light but informative and explain to you why I have it where I do.  I realize at times some of the members here think my taste in film is.....off.  And that's fine.  That's what makes the subjectivity of film so much fun.  If we all loved Fences and Fantastic Beasts and Manchester and La La Land and so on, these lists would be incredibly repetitive and quite boring.  So here are the first four films.  Two for the top 42 and two for the bottom 12.

 

[baumer]

Let's start off with a bang, shall we ?

 

 

[chasmmi]

The Dark Knight as the 12th worst film of 2017. Controversial!!!

[baumer]

12th worst film of the year:

 

Sausage Party:

Directed by:  Greg Tiernan

Starring:  Seth Rogen and all his friends

Box office:  140.7 Million

 

 I'm a pretty big fan of most of Seth Rogen's work.  Most of the time, I find his raunchy and immature humour to be quite hilarious.  In this case, I found it to be lazy and insipid.  This was one big running dick and pussy and fart joke after another.  It just felt like he got a bunch of his friends together and asked them if they would have a problem reciting the most puerile and vulgar shit he could come up with.  None of them said No and the result is hotdogs and buns wanting to fuck each other in a super market.  Not quite my tempo.

 

 

 

[baumer]

11th worst film of the year:

 

Ghostbusters:

Directed by:  Paul Feig

Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, Thor

Box office:  229.1 million

 

 I really wanted to put this lower.  I really and truly did.  But there are so many truly horrible films out this year that even a piece of shit like this couldn't find it's way lower than this.  You know you have some bad films on your list when a film you gave a 4/10 to is only the 11th worst film of the year.  The remake/reboot/retelling/who knows WTF it really is, is a mess from about the 5 minute mark on.  The first five minutes is quite good.  There's a good joke about the circus enslaving it's elephants and the the beginning kind of felt right.  Then it falls off a cliff as it is style over substance, poor script writing, awful placement of the original cast and special effects in the place of character development.  I didn't like the idea of this from the beginning and everything I thought that would be wrong with it, was.  

 

[Plain Old Tele]

/grits teeth, clicks "like"

[baumer]

42) Sing

Directed by Gareth Jennings

Starring:  All right all right all right, Reese, Scarlett, JC Reilly

Box office:  358 million and counting

 

Here's a film, kind of like SLOP, that is kind of just okay for much of the film, but then the last act it really picks up.  I found myself singing along with the characters for much of their auditions and then performances in the film.  I enjoy Illumination films at times.  At times, they leave something to be desired.  But then again, I'm not big on most animation so for this to make my list is saying something.  It's not terrific but it is entertaining.