Baumer's best 42 films of 2016 (and 12 worst) and Ruk's breakdown of 2016 films (Finished!)

[baumer]

10th WORST OF THE YEAR

 

FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM

Director:  Some douche bag

Starring:  A bunch of people

Box office:  More than 800 million

 

David Yates has done it again - what a terrible movie. Boring from beginning to end. J.K. Rowling just wasn't able to write a script that could live up to the Harry Potter books and universe. Fantastic? Not so much. Beasts? Sure, lots of them, but uninteresting. Where to find them? All inside a magical bag. There's absolutely no character development: we get to know very little about Newt Scamander, his personal quest, his thoughts or what drives him; Tina is just bland; and Kowalski is a comic relief that just wasn't necessary. Throughout the movie, you never understand why Newt has a "Noah complex" or why he was driven to build his own Ark of magical creatures; there's no tension, no drama involved - muggles don't know about those creatures, so they can't hate them or understand how dangerous they might be, and wizards just don't seem to care enough about them. Why exactly was Newt expelled from Hogwarts? What exactly was his relation to Leta Lestrange? We just don't know. Graves was an interesting character, but very poorly developed. Sure, he is revealed to be something more and we couldn't know too much, but we never get to understand the context in which he professes his ideology. For a movie that revolves around magic, there's actually not that much magic being used during the movie. Maybe next time they should try a movie with less special effects and a little bit more acting. The Harry Potter books were always about the narrative - well written, enticing, thrilling, focused on big existential issues, such as death, the quest for immortality, friendship. This movie was about the visual power of cinema, and that just isn't enough. Besides, a whole generation grew up with Harry Potter, a generation that actually "grew up", so a PG movie won't work.  I get that the Potter loonies love this film, but for those of us who just don't care all that much for Potter, it's a giant bore.  

 

[baumer]

9th WORST OF THE YEAR

Captain America: Civil War

Directed by Jean and Jacques Russo (WWE fans anywhere?)

Starring:  Cap, Tony, Widow, Spidey, Ant guy but not Thor or Hulk

Box office:  1.1 Billion

 

I'm not quite sure how I got to the end of this movie. I think that Black Panther was the only thing that saved me from falling asleep.  The airport battle was good too, really good and that's what keeps this from getting a lower score.  

The recipe for Captain America : Civil War seems to have been 1 cup American patriotism, 2 cups moral quandary we will forget about by the end of this movie, half a cup of explosions, a pinch of action and a sprinkle of superhero cameos. That action could've saved this film if there was more of it, but really the only enjoyable moment of this flick was the penultimate fight scene that appeared in every trailer.

Everyone seemed to have lost their common sense for the duration of Civil War; characters deified their personalities and beliefs to support things that they'd never be caught dead doing in the past.

And this is where the 1 cup patriotism was liberally stirred in, as we're told to choke down the idea that the governments of the world have any control over superhumans, aliens, magicians, genius inventors with arsenals of exploding gadgets and literal deities. Some of whom are the leaders of countries, dimensions or trillion dollar companies themselves. This follows the preceding film that involved just a small segment of your (not my) favourite heroes destroying the supposedly most powerful organisation in the world.

We're also told to swallow those cups of moral quandary, about how awful it is that innocent people die when the heroes save the day. Ignoring the fact the planet would have been destroyed thrice over by now without them, it is hard to get the claim that the governments only care to do this now, after years of cities being destroyed (though to be truthful, rarely because of the heroes).

The plot was so bad it made me want to snore. But the fact that the action was sorely lacking in lustre most of the movie only helped hurt it. Tony Stark's attitude is just annoying at this point, and Captain America fulfills the stereotype of the jock, rushing off without a second thought, and nearly destroying many things in the process.

I think the Marvel formula is wearing thin now.  And that's understandable as there's been film after film after film dating back to 2008.  And with great amounts of profits comes great amounts of pressure to keep your audiences entertained.  I think in the process they have jumped the shark a bit.

 

[baumer]

8th WORST OF THE YEAR

Zoolander 2

Directed by:  Zooolander

Starring:  Ben Stiller, Wil Ferrel, Billy Zane, Owen Wilson

Box office:  55 million

 

The original was classic comedy.  

The trailer for this one was brilliant.

The film sucked.  

Too bad.

 

[baumer]

More later.

[robertman2]

Lmao this list

[WrathOfHan]

So much edge in one page  

[CJohn]

1 hour ago, baumer said:

#37

Gods of Egypt (for you @CJohn )

Directed by:  Alex Proyas

Starring:  Stupendous and Gerard Butler

Box office:  150 million

 

Gods of Egypt is a guilty pleasure.  It's a big, loud, fast film about Gods being angry and a mortal's attempt to get giggy with a God.  And it also has stupendous tits.  There's no other way to put it.  Me and @CJohn love the film because Courtney Eaton has a terrific set of breasts.  You really have to see the film to understand what is being discussed here.  But beyond that, it's a scene chewing turn from Butler who plays one of the biggest assholes in film history.  He's not likeable in any sense and his arrogance knows no bounds.  He of course gets what's coming to him in the end and stupendous tits and her lover live happily ever after...sort of.  Like I said, it's not a great film but it is a good and fun one.

 

STUPENDOUS TITS. SCENE STEALER TITS.

[baumer]

2 hours ago, robertman2 said:

Lmao this list

 

[baumer]

#33

Purge:  Election Year

Directed by: James DeMonaco

Starring:  Frank Grillo, Mykelti Williamson

Box office:  118.5 million

 

The Purge: Election Year takes a lot of glee in exploring the twisted nature of the annual tradition, often fetishising the brutality but never using it overtly - yes, there is a lot of blood but never uses it too graphic or dwelled up, avoiding the gratification most horrors employ. Instead, it takes aspects of both the horror and thriller genre to satisfyingly jolt audience between the two, crafting another potently satirical cultural critique, mixed in with the mindless mayhem that ensures it moves at a thrilling pace (when it gets going, that is). It still is frustrating to see a franchise squander so much potential on another 'good but not incredible' film, but that shouldn't take away from the fact that this is still one of the strongest genre entries from the past few years, and a franchise that continues to find things to say, even if it doesn't go about saying them in the most effective way. While Election Year closes on a somewhat conclusive note, the possibilities for further instalments are endless, and with renewed inspiration and dedication, could continue the upward traction The Purge series has experienced over the course of their neat and chilling trilogy.

 

 

[baumer]

#32

Magnificent Seven

Directed by Antoine Fuqua

Starring:  Denzel, Pratt, Haley (Stupendous part 2) Bennet and a bunch of others

Box office:  160 million

 

Seven gunmen in the old west gradually come together to help a poor village against savage thieves. The Magnificent Seven is again one of the thousands remakes we get every year and to be honest i expected this movie to be amazing and although it's not it's not amazing either and let me start by saying that Denzel Washington and Chris Pratt were really good and basically the whole cast did a great job, unfortunately there isn't much of character development in this film which makes it difficult to care a lot about about our heroes although the film does fix it self during the big final battle with the characters and the action, our main villain played by Peter Sarsgaard has way too little screen time and he is pretty forgettable even tho Sarsgaard did a good job he is just not that good of a character. The film also spends a big part of it with the main characters talking to each other instead of shooting down people but when the action hits it's at least watchable. Overall Antoine Fuqua's Magnificent Se7en is not a bad film or a bad remake it has an impressive cast of talented actors that have a great chemistry, the action is handled really well and it's a pretty good and watchable film but the poor character development and lack of action at times except that big showdown of course did hurt the film for me...just a bit.

 

[Porthos]

Looks like Disney and WB forgot to sent their payola checks to Baumer. 

[Dementeleus]

1 hour ago, robertman2 said:

Lmao this list

 

55 minutes ago, WrathOfHan said:

So much edge in one page  

Somebody should bump Baumer's "Brainwashed" thread.  

[Jason]

16 minutes ago, Telemachos said:

Somebody should bump Baumer's "Brainwashed" thread.  

 

That thread is from before my time here. I just came across his Interstellar post. For that alone, I approve of his list. No matter how many Pixar films I come across later.

Edited January 19, 2017 by Jason

[cannastop]

Just now, Jason said:

 

That thread is from before my time here. I just came across his Interstellar post. For that alone, I approve of his list. No matter how many Pixar films I come across later.

He actually posts all Pixar movie. 

[baumer]

Pixar is king brainwash.

[cannastop]

Just now, baumer said:

Pixar is king brainwash.

According to you, it's actually Harvey Weinstein.

[Sam]

3 hours ago, baumer said:

#34

How to be Single

Directed by Christian Ditter

Starring:  Dakota Johnson, Leslie Mann, Rebel Wilson

Box office:  112 million

 

Another novel based film from the director of 'Love, Rosie'. About the four young women that tells how to enjoy the life by balancing the men and the parties. Very interesting cast, hot ones like Dakota Johnson, Alison Brie and even she's in her 40s Leslie Mann looked so fantastic. The narration had layers to focus on these different people and their different attempt to get the life they wanted. In that, I kind of like Leslie's, maybe the age fact and to be touched by her love tale with decency. But Dakota and Alison kind of did it for me.  They were both fantastic here.

 

 

 

 

 

Rebel Wilson, who I don't care for all that much was much better and more realistic in this film.  The story was good, although at times there seemed to be a bit much going on, and then, bam!! it all connects in some way.  So that makes the stories of everyone take place within the circle and delivered a good entertainment, Lots of fun, even though it is a pure commercial film, there was plenty of heart and enough to make you ponder your own views on love and relationships.

I personally think there is enough in here to keep men as well as women entertained.  It's something I'd see again, if only just to laugh a bit here and there, and for Johnson, who is quietly terrific.  

 

 

 

 

I enjoyed this one a lot. Dakota was terrific. She has such natural and likable charms. Good rapport with Rebel Wilson too. 

 

The movie itself was a bit dragged at times, but I thought they stuck the landing well (including a pretty surprising, un-romcom like plot point happened before leading up to it)

[SchumacherFTW]

Agreed on Civil War B, that was a tedious movie. I was already starting to sour on marvel before that, but that movie made me anti marvel.... Until Dr Strange saved me that is. 

Edited January 20, 2017 by SchumacherFTW

[rukaio101]

10 hours ago, baumer said:

9th WORST OF THE YEAR

Captain America: Civil War

Directed by Jean and Jacques Russo (WWE fans anywhere?)

Starring:  Cap, Tony, Widow, Spidey, Ant guy but not Thor or Hulk

Box office:  1.1 Billion

 

 

[baumer]

#31

Sully

Directed by Clint Eastwood

Starring:  Tom Hanks, Aaron Eckhart, Laura Linney

Box office:  238 million

 

This is a Clint Eastwood movie, that means that it's a movie well done, well framed, well directed and with a tremendous impact on the human aspect. Everything flows easy during the narration. There's really nothing to complain about with this movie, a great cast very well directed. But as good as it is, mostly because it's a very moving story of incredible bravery and selfless heroism, it just misses being great because there's just something missing.  I can't really put my finger on it, but after seeing it, my reaction was, "Well that was interesting."  Not, "Wow!  Amazing!"  For my liking, it's good, but not quite great.