SURV(IV)OR: Episode 3 - Like A Boss

[Ezen Baklattan]

Spaghetti: This week, the remaining 19 players must travel though an intense police training program, all while trying to find one of three illusive power rings. You find them, you’re immune for the week. Also, if you ever get tired or need to unwind, there’s a vending machine and Christopher Nolan erotic bookstore back at home base. Of course, you must start all over if you do so. With that, Sergeant Clarke will go ahead and give you commands for this challenge. Ready, go!

 

Clarke: On your feet! Get ready to go! Laps, now! 

 

Elcaballero: Shit, if I lose, I’m out! I lost the flash fight, and this certainly won’t be any easier.

Ethan Hunt: Don’t worry about that, my friend. We’ll put in an amazing effort to win together. I believe in you.

Elcaballero: Really, thanks!

Ethan Hunt: By the way, I was wondering if we could get an alliance going. We could get to the merge, maybe even the top three, together!

Elcaballero: After how bitchy you were last week? No thank you.

Ethan Hunt: I was really harsh last week, but I was so nervous. I wanted to make sure we didn’t come in last. Please give me a second chance.

Elcaballero: Okay....we can give it a shot. A trial run in you will.

Ethan Hunt: You won’t regret it.

 

CONFESSIONAL - Ethan Hunt: *laughing* Like I care about him. He still got a better score than me last week. I’ll find a way to sabotage the others, get his respect, then we’ll blast through this competition. This’ll be a piece of cake.

 

That One Guy: This is gonna be intense! I never passed PE in high school!

BourneFan#1: You can fail PE!?

That One Guy: So what if I always skipped class!

AABATTERY: At least that doesn’t speak to your physical ability.

CoolEric258: You never passed PE? OMG I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME. Let’s be friends forever!

JJ-8: Wait.....didn’t we have something special, Eric!?

CoolEric258: I feel something, something about you. Our souls are colliding. We may be friends, but your energy, something is off.

That One Guy: .....Okay?

 

CONFESSIONAL - AABATTERY: Okay, how did we end up with the two weirdest players of the game on our team? Probably the same reason why the Robots have two untrustworthy bastards. Hopefully they keep losing and we seed them out.

 

*JJ-8 is crying. Fancyarcher is there to comfort him.*

Fancyarcher: You just met him, mate. Give it time.

JJ-8: THERE IS NO TIME!!!

Fancyarcher: You keep this up, the team will eliminate you in no time is what you mean.

JJ-8: EXACTLY! I MEAN NO! I’LL GET TO THE END! AND I’LL CRUSH ERIC. AND THAT ONE GUY.

Fancyarcher: *looks at camera a la The Office*

 

CONFESSIONAL - Fancyarcher: Okay...I get the feeling JJ-8 should have a companion this round. If he's not unbearably happy, he's the complete opposite.

 

ChipMunky: The fuck? I hate running so much!

Arlborn: Only because you know I’ll beat you.

ChipMunky: Oh, so you’re gonna be one of those people.

Eevin: Yeah, one episode in and I already hate him.

Goffe: Stop complaining, Chip. Run.

Numbers: What he said.

ChipMunky: *sighs*

 

CONFESSIONAL - ChipMunky: I’m a reasonable person, I really am! Some things just try my patience like no tomorrow.

 

Clarke: Did I fucking say nothing? RUN!!!! 

 

ChipMunky: We’re....gonna....make.....it.

RandomJC: *running next to ChipMunky* Don’t worry, I hate running just as much as you do.

ChipMunky: Thanks. Nice to know there’s someone else relatively sane on this island.

*They begin to chat while running, exchanging favorite movies, memories, fields of study, power rangers, Dreamworks movies, and more.*

 

DAJK: Oh, guys! You do realize we finished 15 minutes ago?

ChipMunky: Are you kidding me?!?!?!

DAJK: Uh....I wanted to tell you. You seemed into it.

ChipMunky: *to RandomJC* You sabotaged me, didn’t you? You ran just fine!

RandomJC: What? No! How could you think that!

ChipMunky: Doesn’t matter. I gotta stay with my own team. Try distracting someone else for a change.

RandomJC: But I....I....nevermind. Thanks for warning us at least, DAJK.

DAJK: No problem. By the way....anyone seen Chasmmi?

 

*Chasmmi is by the vending machine. He sees a bag of his favorite candy, Smurf Air Heads, but in the way back. He breaks the glass with his fist and grabs it. We see him walk away with blood dripping on the floor as he walks.*

 

Clarke: You maggots aren’t completely useless. UNTIL I SEE YOU ON THIS OBSTACLE COURSE! Weapons, forts, explosives, and more. All for one mile. Good luck surviving!

 

Wrath: Explosives?

WrathOfHan: Remember that bazooka trick we did last time?

Wrath: We’re not doing it again.

WrathOfHan: Come on, we can win easily!

Wrath: But you could have been hurt! I mean.....we could have gotten disqualified.

WrathOfHan: Whatever. I’ll just go with Numbers and Goffe. They seem to know what they’re doing.

Wrath: Very well.

 

WrathOfHan: Hey guys, can I come with you?

Goffe: Can you keep up? Seems you can’t quite win without Wrath at your side.

Numbers: Hey, ease off on the kid.

WrathOfHan: So you think that you can boss us around because you won last week?

Goffe: Yeah, pretty much. Either way, fine. If you’re dead weight, we’re abandoning you.

WrathOfHan: Hopefully the rule applies to you equally.

Numbers: He’s kidding by the way.

WrathOfHan: Good to know.

 

*The obstacle course begins. Numbers, WrathOfHan, and Goffe work together, while Arlborn uses Eevin as a human shield for projectiles.*

 

Eevin: Nope, fuck this. You’re on your own Arlborn.

Arlborn: Wait, no come back! BABY COME BACK! YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON....me. *Eevin’s gone.*

 

CONFESSIONAL - Alborn: Obviously Eevin couldn’t handle my swagger. He’ll come crawling back to me before you know it.

CONFESSIONAL - Eevin: Arlborn was gonna weigh us down. I may have botched the flash fight, but this challenge looks much more beatable. Bring it on.

 

AABATTERY: Come on team, let’s hustle!

RandomJC: Way ahead of you! *RandomJC goes through the challenges fairly easily.*

That One Guy: Boom! That’s how you do it! What am I sitting on? *A bomb* He blasts back to the start, forming a star in the sky a la Team Rocket.

Wrath: That star seems familiar. Huh.

 

Chasmmi: Piece of cake. *He runs through the scavenger hunt easily, finding two of the power rings along the way. He glares at his opponents.* Bet they were looking for these. *He crushes the two rings.*

YourMother: What the hell, dude! I want to win this fair and square.

Chasmmi: Oh, you will. Can’t say the same for myself.

YourMother: We’re on the same team!

Chasmmi: Exactly. You won’t tell Spaghetti on us, will you?

YourMother: ....I hate you so much right now.

Chasmmi: Everyone here will. Believe me.

 

ChipMunky: Phew, we made it!

RandomJC: *playfully* took you long enough.

ChipMunky: *growls and walks away*

 

CONFESSIONAL - RandomJC: Okay, maybe playing hard to get won’t work. But I see sparks between us. Big time.

 

Numbers: I see it! The pavilion, it’s right after this half of the obstacle course!

Goffe: Run!

WrathOfHan: So....seems you two go way back.

Numbers: We had a strong team back in Box Office Alliance, heard of the game?

WrathOfHan: Man, that’s so old! Think my parents watched it! Of course, if I had my parents with me.

Numbers: You know what they say, all great stories begin with orphans.

Goffe: They say that?

Numbers: Totally.

WrathOfHan: *chuckles lightly.*

 

Fancyarcher: *carrying JJ-8* Come on, you need to get it together!

JJ-8: What’s the point! Love’s labor is lost!

Fancyarcher: Come on you idiot! You used to be unbearably happy! What happened?

Ethan Hunt: Hey guys, I had a favor to offer you. I have a lot of change, want to go back to the vending machine? Maybe get something to impress Eric?

JJ-8: YES YES YES!!!!

Fancyarcher: Okay...looks like he’s happy again....I should go with him.

 

*They run back to the vending machine, but find that it’s busted thanks to Chasmmi. The coins also don’t work, as they turn out to be fake Chuck E. Cheese tokens, but JJ-8 is desperate to get a snack.*

Fancyarcher: Mate, we don’t have all day.

CONFESSIONAL - Fancyarcher: Ugh....Ethan tricked us. Little bastard. But then again, why does he have Chuck E. Cheese tokens in the first place?

 

*Players have made it to the pavilion. They have 10 minutes to enter predictions.*

 

WrathOfHan: Thanks for letting me join you all today.

Goffe: You’re all right, kid, come to think of it.

 

AABATTERY: Uhhh....has anyone seen Fancy and JJ-8?

BourneFan: I haven’t.....but either way, I’m not sure I can carry us again. That was pretty rough on the back.

RandomJC: Lucky for you, I nailed it.

BourneFan: Nice!

RandomJC: Alliance? We can keep the team strong and make ChipMunky jealous.

BourneFan: Yes....wait what?

RandomJC: Oh, by the way, check out this ring I found! I’m safe this week!

BourneFan: Very good! Hopefully we don’t have to vote anyone off.

 

ChipMunky: Hardly, I’d say. Come on, Eevin, let’s enter the predictions. Hopefully will beat ChipMunky.

Eevin: You said it. Feel pretty good about this week. The ticket thing was a minor snafu. You’re lucky you missed it.

ChipMunky: Heh, guess I was. Damn it looked rough.

Eevin: So did you. Uhhh....I mean, you looked under stress.

ChipMunky: Okay...

 

AABATTERY: Fancy? JJ-8?

Ethan Hunt: Oh, don’t worry about them. They’re just getting a little snack.

*JJ-8 is crying on the vending machine glass. Fancyarcher is face palming.*

AABATTERY: Shit, they won’t make it.

That One Guy: *limping from the bomb* Don’t worry, they will!

AABATTERY: I sure hope you’re right.

BourneFan: Frankly, at least if we lose, we can vote off one of them.

 

Wrath: And.....done.

Arlborn: MADE IT! Come to think of it, seems we’ve both been betrayed today. Shall we....

Wrath: No.

 

DAJK: That was a great week! Feeling great, huh guys?

Chasmmi: Definitely. To say the least.

Ethan Hunt: I can affort to slip a bit. I’ve got a bad feeling about some people.

YourMother: Uhhh.....huh?

Elcaballero: That was pretty good! Thanks for helping me, Ethan!

Ethan Hunt: But of course! Is that not what friends do?

 

*PREDICTIONS CLOSE.*

BourneFan: Wait, no! They didn't make it!

AABATTERY: What happens if they don't enter predictions?

Spaghetti: Oh, you'll see.

*BourneFan and AABATTERY look at each other with nervous glances.*

 

Spaghetti: Meet in the Amphitheatre in 60 minutes for results!

 

----------------

 

THIS WEEK'S ACTUALS:

CHIPS - $7.73M

LIFE - $12.50M

POWER RANGERS - $40.30M

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST - $90.43M

THE BELKO EXPERIMENT - $1.88M

T2: TRAINSPOTTING - $0.39M

KONG: SKULL ISLAND - $14.67M

THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE - $2.1M

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY - $0.45M

LION - $0.39M

 

----------------

 

Spaghetti: Aliens, let's take a look at your scores....

 

Spoiler

@Eevin - 85.25%

@4815162342 - 85.00%

@WrathOfHan - 84.15%

@Goffe - 82.81%

@Arlborn - 81.20%

@Wrath - 77.11%

@ChipMunky - 67.93%

AVERAGE: 80.49%

 

Spaghetti: Eevin! Congrats on being this week's team guardian. Way to redeem yourself.

Eevin: Impressive.

ChipMunky: Last again? Are you kidding me!

 

Spaghetti: Robots, time for your go too.

 

Spoiler

@DAJK: 89.86%

@YourMother: 87.42%

@chasmmi: 83.65%

@elcaballero: 76.30%

@Ethan Hunt: 75.09%

AVERAGE: 82.51%

 

Spaghetti: DAJK isn't messing around! He's the team guardians!

DAJK: Wait, we beat the aliens!

YourMother: We're guaranteed to be safe! Yes!!!

DAJK: And we did it fair and square! At least, THREE of us did. 

 

Spaghetti: If the Toons did worse than the aliens, they're headed to the Tribal Council.

 

Spoiler

@RandomJC: 87.50%

@BourneFan #1: 81.93%

@aabattery: 79.41%

@Fancyarcher: 74.10%

@That One Guy: 71.77%

@CoolEric258: 68.89%

@JJ-8: 33.97% (placeholder)

AVERAGE: 71.08%

 

Spaghetti: Damn, rough break. Fancyarcher and JJ-8 both didn't predict - their scores will be the lowest score in the game, ChipMunky's - divided by two.

ChipMunky: Hey, not cool!

Spaghetti: And consequentially, you all lost.

AABATTERY: No!

RandomJC: I have this ring, does that count for anything?

Spaghetti: Yes, you are safe for the week!

 

Spaghetti: And with that, the Robots redeem themselves and win the week! And the Toons are going to Tribal Council!

Fancyarcher: Hey, we're back, guys! What'd we miss?

BourneFan: Oh, nothing. Just the fact that WE LOST BECAUSE OF YOU.

Fancyarcher: Shit, I knew we were forgetting something. Sorry guys.

JJ-8: Wait,  Eric! I have sweets for you! Please love me again!

CoolEric: WHAT. THESE ARE MY FAVORITE. JJ. IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG! MY LOVE! LET US BE VICTORIOUS TOGETHER!

JJ-8: YESSSS!!!! FOREVER!!!

AABATTERY: Weirdest love story ever.

That One Guy: Please tell me we're merging soon.

Spaghetti: I digress. One of you can still win the second immunity idol. See below for the list of challenges for this week under Tribal Council.

 

DAJK: Wait, you cost them the game!

Ethan Hunt: Is this the part where I make the obligatory "I didn't come here to make friends?" Because I will. Don't be naive, DAJK.

DAJK: I don't trust you. At all.

Ethan Hunt: Then at least I'll be able to dispose of you quickly.

 

RandomJC: Guess we're both safe tonight, huh?

ChipMunky: Don't try me. Please.

 

Spaghetti: Check the info in the box below, everyone. This includes second immunity challenges, tuck shop deals, and more. See you all next week on....BOT SURVIVOR!

 

Spoiler

TUCK SHOP

Every week, a subset of items will be on sale at the tuck shop. Buy a quick boost now, or wait for something better down the road! Here is everyone's current balance. If you are not listed, you have 0 coins.

 

The guardian of each team gets two coins.

Every member of the winning team gets three coins.

 

Current Balance

9: DAJK

5: Goffe, Eevin

4: RandomJC

3: Numbers, Arlborn, ChipMunky, Wrath, WrathOfHan, YourMother, Elcaballero, Ethan Hunt, Chasmmi

2: BourneFan

 

CANDY APPLE - 3 Coins (Gives your weekend predictions a boost of 2%.)

STAIN REMOVER - 4 Coins (Removes the weakest score in your weekend prediction)

RECYCLED PAD - 5 Coins (Doubles your vote in the Tribal Council)

 

PM me if you want anything by Thursday, March 30th at 11:59PM EST! Also, remember that you do not need to use it this week! Simply indicate in any weekend game or Tribal Council when you will be using it!

 

 

FLASH FIGHT

Predict how many of the following will happen with Tuesday, March 28th’s numbers:

1.      Life crosses $15m in its cumulative total.

2.      Hidden Figures has the highest PTA of an Oscar nominated film on Tuesday.

3.      Power Rangers crosses $51m in its cumulative total.

4.      Get Out makes more than $1.05m on Tuesday.

5.      Beauty and the Beast grosses $337m cumulatively. (i.e. $337.00 - 337.99m)

6.      Sing’s cumulative gross will be closer to $270m than to $269.5m.

7.      Raw becomes Focus World’s highest grossing film by more than 50k. (Based on BOM's list of Focus World Films)

8.      John Wick: Chapter 2 makes more than $60k on Tuesday.

9.      Kong: Skull Island will have at least a $500 PTA on Tuesday.

10.   Hidden Figures comes within $2.5m of The Help’s unadjusted gross.

 

When a description says “on Tuesday,” focus on just the Tuesday number. Otherwise, think more about the cumulative gross of each film by Tuesday.

 

Your goal here is NOT to predict which ones are correct. Rather, you are to PREDICT HOW MANY are correct. So your answer would be a guess between 0 and 10.

 

FIRST PRIZE: ONE player will win a secret item from the Tuck Shop (If there is a tie, the first person to send in predictions will win.)

LAST “PRIZE”: ONE unlucky player will receive an early deadline for Weekend predictions: Noon EST on Thursday.

 

Flash Fight predictions are due by Tuesday at 11:59PM EST.

 

TRIBAL COUNCIL - TUBULAR TOONS ONLY

Sorry, Toons, but you will be sent to the Tribal Council. All robots must send me a PM with who they wish to vote off the island. However, there is hope. The second immunity challenge is also listed below. Winning the challenge will make you immune from elimination for this week.

 

SECOND IMMUNITY: PREDICT THE TUESDAY PTAs (NOT GROSSES) OF....

CHIPs

Life

Power Rangers

Wilson

Beauty and the Beast

 

Votes are due by Wednesday at 4PM EST.

Second Immunity predictions are due by Tuesday at 11:59PM EST.

 

Best of luck to all toons!

 

WEEKEND CHALLENGE #3

For people who love to start things early!

 

PREDICT THE THREE DAY WEEKENDS OF THE FOLLOWING FILMS

The Boss Baby

Ghost in the Shell

The Zookeeper’s Wife

CHIPs

Life

Power Rangers

Beauty and the Beast

The Last Word

Logan

Split ( @WrathOfHan )

 

Predictions are due by Thursday at 11:59PM EST.

 

[aabattery]

 

 

[ChipDerby]

Good lord.

[RandomCat]

14 minutes ago, Spaghetti by the Sea said:

RandomJC: Alliance? We can keep the team strong and make ChipMunky jealous.

 

I fully admit...I love this.

[WrathOfHan]

Split ( @WrathOfHan )

 

[Eevin]

I don't want to say I called it but I TOTALLY CALLED IT AND ALL THE TOONS CAN GO SUCK IT

 

 

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

11 minutes ago, ChipMunky said:

Good lord.

Don't say I didn't warn you. 

[ChipDerby]

87% in the Derby... 67% here.

[Eevin]

Also, getting a little worried about @DAJK over there. Gonna need to shift my priorities once we merge.

[SLAM!]

I think @DAJK is gonna end up winning this thing.

[Fancyarcher]

Didn't I send in weekend predictions last weekend though? What'd I miss? 

[RandomCat]

I don't really know who to vote for.

[aabattery]

4 minutes ago, RandomJC said:

I don't really know who to vote for.

 

I just figured we wouldn't lose. I'm not really prepared to vote someone out.

[RandomCat]

7 minutes ago, aabattery said:

 

I just figured we wouldn't lose. I'm not really prepared to vote someone out.

 

Is abstaining a legitimate option? It seems unfair to just vote for JJ-8 or Fancyarcher. And everyone did good for us this week.

[Arlborn]

Well, that story is taking quite the rainbow turn lol

[Ezen Baklattan]

21 minutes ago, Fancyarcher said:

Didn't I send in weekend predictions last weekend though? What'd I miss? 

I didn't get any predicts from you last weekend. The weekend before, I did, however.

[Fancyarcher]

13 minutes ago, Spaghetti by the Sea said:

I didn't get any predicts from you last weekend. The weekend before, I did, however.

 

I did write predictions, they were just sent on the previous message to save some slight message space (probably a mistake now).

Edited March 27, 2017 by Fancyarcher

[SLAM!]

Every day, it feels more and more like I was meant to be the first one out.

 

Being a participant is fun, but being a spectator is fun, too!

Edited March 27, 2017 by slambros

[Ezen Baklattan]

15 minutes ago, Fancyarcher said:

 

I did write predictions, they were just sent on the previous message to save some slight message space (probably a mistake now).

Okay.....Try sending them to me again.

 

I'll make an exception this one time since a few messages accidentally got deleted. However, in the future, please make a new message when making predictions. It's easier to verify way.

 

 

That, and even if you really get 100%, the toons would still be in last place.

[Fancyarcher]

15 minutes ago, Spaghetti by the Sea said:

Okay.....Try sending them to me again.

 

I'll make an exception this one time since a few messages accidentally got deleted. However, in the future, please make a new message when making predictions. It's easier to verify way.

 

 

That, and even if you really get 100%, the toons would still be in last place.

 

 

Okay! Will do! Sorry bout that.