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SUR(IV)OR: Episode 12 - Anything but Wonderful

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Spaghetti: Congratulations to all of you on making it to the final nine. Now comes the fun part. In this bay, you’ll each have a canoe to find one of 9 treasures. They’ll contain clues for this week’s predictions, some being more valuable than others. Good luck finding your treasure. Canoes are to the left. Ready, go!


CONFESSIONAL - WrathOfHan: I don’t wanna be seen as a Daddy’s boy, and I certainly don’t want other teams working against us. Wrath won’t tell me about why he’s here, so I need to find someone else to work with. Someone with an edge. Someone strong.


Elcaballero: Okay....let’s not become that crazy competitive jerk again this week.

WrathOfHan: Hey, wait up! I needed to ask you something.

Elcaballero: You know about the Mr. Hyde problem?! How I become a monster! OH SHIT I JUST TOLD YOU!!!

WrathOfHan: Wait, no. Well, I know now, but, if this is something that worries you, I can help you control it.

Elcaballero: You won’t tell anyone else?

WrathOfHan: I promise. But with it getting to few contestants left, I’m trying to get others on my side, and you seem like a perfect partner. Wanna team up?

Elcaballero: So help me and we’ll be helping each other. I’m game.

WrathOfHan: Perfect. Now come on, we’ve got some treasure to find.


Chasmmi: Hey, YourMother, we have to work together again this week, but I have something to ask of you.

YourMother: Huh....what’s that?

Chasmmi: You’ve seen how cruel and awful these competitors can be. They bullied slambros. DAJK and AABATTERY betrayed you. Elcaballero treated you like dirt. This is humanity, YourMother. We need to win this and set things right.

YourMother: So you’re now a bond villain. Got it.

Chasmmi: Look, DAJK broke your heart. What do you say we enact the perfect revenge?

YourMother: Okay...let’s see what we can do together.

Chasmmi: Perfect.


*DAJK tries to reach out to the others, who all avoid him.*

CONFESIONAL - DAJK: I didn’t write that letter. I swear! But now it’s come to my attention. I don’t trust Chasmmi, but I realize now that what he’s trying to do here may be far more sinister than what any of us have expected. I need to find a way to redeem myself to others and save them from Chas.


AABATTERY: Hey, DAJK. We probably shouldn’t partner up to avoid being seen by others, but know that I’m on your side. And good to know you’re not serious about being an item.

DAJK: Not only that, but the letter was writing by cha -- *An airhorn blows*

Chasmmi: *From water* Oops, my hand slipped!

DAJK: I’ll tell you later. Right now we have to get immunity.

AABATTERY: You said it. See you on the other side.


Arlborn: Spaghetti, can we share a canoe? Please?!

Spaghetti: Afraid not. However, you might be able to tie them together, but you didn’t hear that from me!

Eevin: Perfect! We can use both our heads together. I have a good feeling about all the treasure we can find.

Wrath: Hey, guys. I was wondering if we could team up, seeing how WrathOfHan went off with others we’re the only original Aliens still together. Ready to unite?

Arlborn: Sure thing! Come on in!

Wrath: And if others try to sabotage us....I’ve got a pretty useful arsenal in my pocket.

Arlborn: Me too! *He unzips his pants*


Arlborn: Oh....sorry!

Eevin: Seems you’ve still got a bit of crazy in that system. Might need it sooner than you think.


*The teams are out on the water. DAJK finds a cave to dive into. WrathOfHan and Elcaballero look near the edge of a waterfall. Arlborn, Eevin, and Wrath find a reef. AABATTERY finds a rocky lagoon. Chasmmi and YourMother look on with great wonder.*


Chasmmi: What do you say we sabotage some of the other teams to get ahead.

YourMother: I’m not gonna have much say in the matter, am I?

Chasmmi: Come on, mate. It’ll be fun. I have the tools we need to pull it off.

YourMother: This can’t all be legal...can it?

Chasmmi: Who cares? Let me show you how a true villain operates.




*Chasmmi and YourMother first find AABATTERY at the lagoon. With a gun that fires blasts of wind, AABATTERY and his canoe are pushed into a sharp rock, leaving the tip of it giving AABATTERY stuck by his swimsuit. He winces in pain at his wedgie.*


*As Arlborn and Eevin are diving and looking for treasure, an eel is released into the water, shocking both of them. Wrath looks down in concern, but a small motor is pushed on the boat, causing him to blast away at a rapid pace, eventually pushing him into the water.*


*WrathOfHan and Elcaballero are at the waterfall, while Chasmmi throws a small bomb into the water. It creates massive rapids that cause the two to go over the falls, crashing into the water below while seeing that their canoes are still in tact.*


Elcaballero: It was that bastard, Chasmmi!

WrathOfHan:  Calm down mate. It’s okay. He doesn’t know that you’re not going to let him get the best of you. Especially since I found these at the bottom of the falls. *Two bottles containing treasure.*

Elcaballero: Perfect! You rock! *They climb out of the water and try to run, but their clothes are soaking wet.* It is SO hard to run in these clothes!


YourMother: Hey, that was actually pretty fun! Who knew being evil had its rewards?

Chasmmi: Not so fast, YourMother. There’s still one contestant we haven’t hit yet.

YourMother: Believe me, I have something special planned for him. I stole something from Wrath’s cabin. This is gonna be fun.*


DAJK: Okay, the map has gotta be around here somewhere. *He is diving very deep into the cave, struggling to find a map. He eventually does, however.* Here we go! Wait a sec....these clues are completely incoherent. The cave might as well collapse and....*he hears a rumble.* Oh no. The cave begins collapsing as he tries to swim out rapidly. He eventually navigates to the entrances, which leaves him trapped in a very small hole 30 feet below the surface of the water* AUGH!!!! HELP!!! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!


*DAJK has three minutes of air.*

YourMother: Yeah! Now that’s what I’m talking about.

Chasmmi: Wait a sec.....I don’t like this. YourMother, we have to save him.

YourMother: What the hell are you talking about?! We need to nip this lying bastard in the bud! Besides, you’ve been the prince of evil this game. What happened?

Chasmmi: There’s sabotaging other players, and then, there’s killing someone! Even I’M not that evil.

YourMother: Are you kidding me? I saw you talk to Blank. I know what you’re planning. Let him drown, or I’m telling EVERYONE your secret.

Chasmmi: .....No. You’re bluffing.

YourMother: Very well...*He shoots a tranquilizer at Chasmmi, who falls to the ground.* I guess I always have to do things the hard way.


*DAJK has two minutes of air.*

WrathOfHan: *Walking to the pavilion with Elcaballero.* Wait....I heard something in the water.

Elcaballero: It sounds like someone’s in trouble. We have to go help.

WrathOfHan: I took a swim class and aced it. I’m going in. *He dives into the water and finds DAJK trapped. He is screaming for help*


*DAJK has one minute of air left.*


WrathOfHan: I’m trying, you won’t budge!!! Wait....I have an idea. I’m going back to the surface. Trust me.

DAJK: What?! No!!!

WrathOfHan: *resurfacing* Wow, thanks Elcaballero. I can’t believe how useless you are. And DAJK is going to drown because of your laziness.

Elcaballero: But you said....augh! I have to do everything around here! Ungrateful bastard! *He dives down and easily frees DAJK with his rage-induced strength.*

WrathOfHan: See what I was going for there?

Elcaballero: I don’t wanna hear shit you deceptive little.....well played. *The two shake hands as DAJK lies on a rock*

DAJK: You....you saved my life. Thank you guys so much.

Elcaballero:  You’re still a dick, but you don’t deserve to die.

DAJK: I’ll take what I can get. And I did manage to find this treasure. To the pavilion we go. *They walk out of the cave and make it to the pavilion. YourMother follows and enters predictions for himself and Chasmmi, glaring at the others.*


AABATTERY: You....you bastards. *He limps to the pavilion, his leg badly injured, as he enters his predictions on the pavilion. He glares at Chasmmi and YourMother.*


Arlborn: We found the treasure! Woo!!!! Wait....WRATH DITCHED US!!!

Eevin: No way! That little jerk!

Arlborn: I thought we could trust him. Come on, we have to go back to the pavilion. We can’t wait for him anymore.

Eevin: At least it became a hell of a lot easier to decide who to send home this week.

*They arrive on the shore and see everyone. Wrath accidentally hits the dock after climbing back on to the speading boat and lands on the other 8 contestants. They all pass out*




Spaghetti: After an intense week, tensions are higher than ever. But I digress. It’s time to reveal this weekend’s results, as well as who gets immunity this week.


*WrathOfHan looks at Elcaballero, and again to Wrath, who is wearing a cast. DAJK and AABATTERY smile to each other, while YourMother glares at him. Chasmmi looks somewhat guilty. Arlborn and Eevin glare at Wrath.*



@YourMother - 82.77%

@Wrath - 77.47%

@elcaballero - 75.86%

@Eevin - 72.35%

@Arlborn - 66.63%

@chasmmi - 62.97%

@DAJK - 61.62%

@WrathOfHan - 60.88%

@aabattery - 46.96%



Spaghetti: And with that, YourMother scores invincibility for the weekend and - a spot in the top 8. *The others moan.* As for the rest of you, it's time to vote someone off. I can already tell this week's tribal council will be intense. Tune in next week for...BOT Survivor.




Arlborn (25)

Eevin (26)

Wrath (23)

WrathOfHan (14)

DAJK (14)

Elcaballero (16)

YourMother (12)


Chasmmi (32)


STAIN REMOVER - 6 Coins (Removes the weakest score in your weekend prediction)

RECYCLED PAD - 8 Coins (Doubles your vote in the Tribal Council)

MAGIC MIRROR - 8 Coins (Force another contestant to reveal their vote(s) in the Tribal Council)

MARIONETTE - 12 Coins (Allows you to replace someone else's vote in Tribal Council - you may use this even if you are not a candidate for elimination)

GOLDEN HALO - 25 Coins (Guaranteed immunity - Will expire once five contestants remain)



Predict the Wednesday grosses of the following:

Pirates V


Alien: Covenant


GOTG: Volume 2


Second Immunity Predictions due at Wednesday at 11:59PM EST!!! Votes due Thursdayy at 3PM EST!!!


FIRST PRIZE: Free Magic Mirror.

LAST PRIZE: Ineligible for Second Immunity next week.



Predict the Friday Grosses of the Following:

Captain Underpants

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell no Tales

Everything, Everything

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

The Fate of the Furious


Answer the following questions pertaining to Wonder Woman (-+5% for each wrong/right answer)

  1. Will Wonder Woman open to more than Man of Steel for the 3-day weekend?
  2. Will Wonder Woman make more on every day of its opening weekend than Captain Underpants's 3-day gross?
  3. Will Wonder Woman's Thursday preview gross triple the Thursday gross of whatever film is #1 on Thursday, June 2nd?
  4. Will Wonder Woman have a stronger Friday-to-3-day multiplier than X-Men: Apocalypse?
  5. How many Warner Bros. films from 2016 will Wonder Woman outgross after its opening weekend?


Predict the cumulative grosses all 3-day weekends for the following studios (excluding subsidiaries i.e. Fox Searchlight)

STX Entertainment

20th Century Fox


Buena Vista




Weekend Challenge Due at 11:59PM EST!!!


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Spaghetti: How's this for an awkward situation. @Wrath and @WrathOfHan were the only ones to predict in last week's Baywatch themed flash fight. And the winner, after tallying the results, was....



WRATH! With a score of 80.99%.



Wrath: Sorry mate, but you know what you gotta do.

WrathOfHan: Very well. Sheesh, my luck has been running out. But the person I voted for last week was...





WrathOfHan: But Hey, I saved his life this week, so I guess we're even, right?

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Tribal Council: Week 12


Spaghetti: Nine contestants remain. And that number is about to become 8. Who will be the next person to leave Survivor Island? Place your votes now.


@Arlborn, @chasmmi@DAJK, @Eevin, @elcaballero@Wrath, and @WrathOfHan vote.


Spaghetti: Before we tally the votes, I must note that a marionette and a recycled pad were used this week. With that, I will begin reading the votes. 





































Spaghetti: And the person going home this week is....





Except he isn't. He won second Immunity with his 94.6% score. *Everyone glares at Chasmmi, who looks sheepishly guilty. Except for YourMother, who gives a sinister glare.* That means since AABATTERY didn't win second immunity and got the next highest number of votes and lowest weekend score, he's actually the one who's out.


AABATTERY: What?! That's not possible!

YourMother: Actually, it is. Turns out that the last cartoon had been erased out of the competition.

AABATTERY: But...but, who could vote me off?! I thought I was cool with everyone?

DAJK: Mate, I didn't want it to come to this, but  I'll miss you a lot. You were maybe one of the only sane people left on this show.

AABATTERY: Heh, I was, more like. I just need to tell you that you need to look out for...*A tranquilizer dart fires from the distance.*


DAJK: Also, YourMother, I'm sorry about everything that happened. I just wanted to make it up to you and say that you're still such a cool person. You don't have to give into everything that Chasmmi tells you to do....YourMother? *He's gone. DAJK sighs.*


CONFESSIONAL - DAJK: AA was one of the few people to stand up for me on this island, probably why he got the boot. Good to know some things never change. 

CONFESSIONAL - YourMother: Everyone hates Chas now, and he still has to do my bidding now. And his rookie mistake? Overt evil never pays. Guess I have to show him how it's done.


Spaghetti: As a side note, I don't know about you, but I'm getting pretty tired of second immunity saving countless lives and eliminating innocent people. So get ready for even crazier, more unusual, more bizarre, more brutal eliminations than ever before. That's the way the cookie crumbles on....BOT SURVIVOR.




CONFESSIONAL - AABATTERY: Going home now is rough, especially since I thought I could make it to the finals. But a game is a game, and making it to be the last man standing on my initial team is definitely something. I leave with my head held high.

*He sees Tupac in the forest as he boards his boat home. They silently nod at each other*


*Chasmmi remembers all of the horrible things he has done on this show and feels a massive insurge of guilt.*

Chasmmi: It's time to make this right. *Puts on headset.* I'm going to make this right.

*We see a glimpse into an office, and a strange figure speaks*

Voice: Don't you dare....we've come too far.

Chasmmi: But everything I've done...it doesn't feel right anymore.

Voice: I don't care. You have a job, and you're going to complete it. That's not a request. That's an order. *He slams the phone, and we see his name: @Blankments.*


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