Alpha's Reviews: YEAR 1

[Hiccup23]

I am predicting it is Public Eye and he is gonna dislike it. 

[Xillix]

Obviously he's going to spend several pages on analyzing the deep thematic resonance of Dino-Riders.

[Alpha]

Congratulations to Hiccup for guessing correctly.

 

AUGUST

Phone - C+

 

While I think it starts off with an intriguing premise (albeit screaming The Ring), Phone kinda veers off into muddled waters as the story becomes less and less interesting. I also refuse to believe "Moonlight Sonata" is a scary piece of music. Movie, no.

 

Public Eye - C+

 

Yep, this is the long one. I'm gonna be a bit of a contrarian on this one.

 

So I'd like to preface this by saying that police brutality is a major issue in the United States right now, and it's only gotten worse since Michael Brown in 2014. Because of that, I really can't fault this film for it's intentions. It's certainly trying to make note of an important issue, and I think it does so mostly in respect to the protestors of police brutality. But my biggest quibble with the movie, and the one that kind of ruined my chances of liking it is who it decides to focus on; a young, white police officer played by Josh Hutcherson.

 

The movie goes to lengths to make Pete an empathetic character, but all throughout the film I just kept thinking that this is not who we should be focusing our story on. In a film that discusses such important issues as racism and police brutality, it's painfully ironic that it focuses on a main character who suffers from neither. The dynamic between Pete and Ben is certainly an interesting one, but then I wonder whether Ben should've been the main character. The fact that most of these conversations are James calling black protestors animals and Pete being shocked by that feels less like serious issues being brought to light and instead more like the dynamic between you and your racist uncle arguing at Thanksgiving dinner about poor people collecting welfare checks. I'm not a total "A.C.A.B." kind of guy, but it's hard to feel bad for Pete when he's staying on the same racist police force that's enabling the brutality to continue. That's why there was so much disconnect between me and the film; why is it trying so hard to paint a picture of a good cop when we should be focusing on the victims of bad cops?

 

Other than that, the film itself is competently made and it should do well with adult audiences at the end of the summer season. But there was just a feeling tugging at me that this what not the side of the story that needed to be told. And in that respect, it's just kind of disappointing compared to the decent perspective the film places on police brutality.

 

An Apple a Night - B-

 

It's kind of surprising yet admirable to see what would be another inoffensive kid's film start to walk into some pretty dark ground. An Apple a Night is a fun, spooky time that's willing to take risks and go places other family entertainment wouldn't dare tread.

 

Dino-Riders - C

 

I guess if you're into some 80s nostalgia coupled with ridiculous ideas to sell toys then Dino-Riders might be for you. But for this critic, it's a film that takes itself too seriously and is yet another toy commercial adaptation that comes off as playing on a gimmick rather than trying to be something else.

 

Ninja - C

 

The slow-motion sequences are certainly nice, but it's a bit frustrating to watch this film and know that NINJAS ARE JAPANESE AND NOT CHINESE OH MY GOD EEERRRGGGHHHH

 

The Space Pirates - B

 

Some good late summer fan, The Space Pirates is a clever, gritty take on the future that doesn't take itself too seriously.

[cookie]

I haven't gotten to Public Eye yet but hearing the details dents my expectations for it tbh. Probably gonna slip it to the "dark horse" category on my list if reviews like Alphas keep coming in.

Edited September 17, 2017 by cookie

[Xillix]

So The Space Pirates is already extremely polarizing! Go figure.

[Alpha]

SEPTEMBER

 

Don't Go Outside - D+

 

Just plain irritating. Enough said.

 

The Little Engine That Could - C+

 

Light children's fare that probably only the littlest of tots will enjoy.

 

The Rider - B-

 

The Rider treats itself like a cyberpunk take on Mad Max, and it's complete with the same feeling of a movie-long action scene. Karl Urban delivers a gritty performance very similar to the one in 2012's Dredd. The only thing stopping it from being a truly entertaining film is it's low budget, which keeps it from being the kind of visual spectacular that made Fury Road a masterpiece.

 

No Surrender - C+

 

No Surrender is a pretty by-the-numbers sports film, which might be interesting for some middle America audiences looking for familiar territory but too basic for me. The 3D is also kind of irritating considering the bulk of the film isn't really spent on the field.

 

Sea of Heroes - C+

 

Sea of Heroes is filled with Robert Zemeckis' taste for visual flare, which elevates the film into being an experience that demands a theater. Unfortunately, it's relatively thin on plot and underdeveloped characters take away from the stakes that needed to be present.

 

The Executioner - C

 

A typical Jason Statham film that you'd see be released at the start of fall. The Executioner is certainly not memorable by any means, and the action is barely passable.

 

River of Death - C

 

Why is John Landis director here? The closest thing he's made to a thriller is the "Thriller" music video. Anyways, River of Death takes itself too seriously when it's material could be plucked straight out of a trivial horror flick. Prestige audiences, who get a chance to see it two weeks before it goes wide, should give it a pass.

 

Seduction - D+

 

Just plain irritating, but for a different reason than found-footage trash like Don't Go Outside. Seduction is another example of Eli Roth imitating directors who have made far better films. Here, so of the scenes of "horror" are downright laughable, making for an incomprehensible, sexed-up bag of terribleness.

 

SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron - B+

 

A load of campy, animated fun. SWAT Kats balances action and comedy like a charm and might have the power to break the 80s fatigue bound to occur after this last summer. Ryan Reynolds and Vin Diesel do some great voicework as the "kat" heroes.

 

White Hurricane - A-

 

A disaster film that demands to be seen on the biggest screen. White Hurricane is a harrowing tale that captures the desire of survival, even if those efforts are, in the end, futile. Particular praise should be directed toward the performances of Christoph Waltz as the violent and enraged captain of the Storm Wolf, and Sandra Bullock as Lawrence's pregnant, sick wife.

Edited September 17, 2017 by Alpha

[cookie]

I always had this idea that if The Rider proves successful I'd make a sequel with a much larger budget. Maybe I'll reuse the idea for a project of bigger scale if it doesn't.

[Xillix]

46 minutes ago, Alpha said:

No Surrender is a pretty by-the-numbers football film

No Surrender is about lacrosse.

 

Thanks for the great SWAT Kats and White Hurricane reviews though!

[Alpha]

6 minutes ago, Xillix said:

No Surrender is about lacrosse.

 

Thanks for the great SWAT Kats and White Hurricane reviews though!

 

Oof. 

Edited September 17, 2017 by Alpha

[Hiccup23]

Interesting review of Public Eye. It sounds like you had more of an issue with the perspective the film took rather than the actual film itself. I can live with that. I wanted a film seeing the events from the police force. That was my full intention. The film really isn't about police brutality, the film is about how white Americans can become so easily normalized to racism. This normalization leads to them either ignoring it or becoming hard to it. Pete did the second half. I wouldn't call Pete's character a hero by any means. He simply shows how young white American men can become normalized to racism. This includes "everyday" racism (conversations between Pete and James). It can be awkward to speak out against this everyday racism in our daily lives but by not speaking out right away, we are in danger of becoming normalized to it and letting or silence seem like consent. There are a couple of reasons why Pete doesn't speak out. 1. James is in a leadership position above him. 2. Pete is new to the force and wants to fit in. 3. Pete is already an outsider by being gay. That is why he doesn't speak out. He gives up his morals in order to fit in. Basically, this film isn't made for black audiences, it is made to middle American white audience. It is for those Trump supporters who think saying the everyday racist shit doesn't do anything. It does and it is time for white America to own it and stop it. 

 

I maybe could have shown this better....anyways that is my thoughts. Thanks for your review and perspective!  

 

[Alpha]

OCTOBER

 

The Provider - B

 

This movie was...weird. Intriguing, but weird. The Provider contains a very tense atmosphere, but at the same time it has this slow pace that lets the tension build and build. Occasionally it meanders, but the film builds on its very mysterious vibe quite well, enough that it kept my attention. For some, it might be a bit frustrating to watch, and it'll leave most viewers with more questions than answers, but overall it's a decent, if somewhat confusing, thriller. I might have to return to it again.

 

Stacie - D

 

Perhaps this is some version of Hush from an alternate universe that happened to make its way into our reality? I don't know. But, if that's not the case, I give it a F- for effort.

 

The Haunting in Wisconsin - C

 

There's some scary moments here and there, but The Haunting in Wisconsin is missing the charm and cleverness of Sam Raimi's work. In that respect, it's kind of disappointing that literally anybody could direct this film, especially coming from such a high-profile director.

 

Secret Searchers - B-

 

A decently clever comedy film that pokes fun at those ridiculous paranormal investigator shows on cable television. Admittedly the plot is stretched quite thin, but Secret Searchers makes enough use of the comedic performances from Will Ferrell and Christopher Mintz-Plasse.

 

America! - C+

 

Not much here for the casual moviegoer, but there's some nice IMAX cinematography.

 

A Family of Families - C

 

A pretty mediocre outing with a title that really nails down the monotony of the whole film. It would be really nice if these Christian dramas didn't literally just follow the same plot beats over and over again.

 

Life is Strange - A-

 

A pretty fantastic adaptation of the video game, Life is Strange does a great job of capturing the drama of the video game while making the transition to the big screen. The performances are all around great, with Ellen Page standing out as Max. The third act ends up having some of the most powerful scenes so far this year. Expect this to show up on plenty of Oscar prediction lists.

 

Bad Cop - D

 

Man, these alternate dimensions colliding with ours are starting to get a little out of hand. I don't think a remake of Maniac Cop would be in store for us.

 

Kelsey Came Home - B

 

Kelsey Came Home features some good work from Jodelle Ferland, along with a pretty grim atmosphere and plot that leaves the viewer with a sense of dread by the end of the proceedings.

 

Trump's America - C+

 

Michael Moore had his time, but nowadays his staunchly liberal voice is just one of many, making this film less of a unique experience than Fahrenheit 911 was at the height of the Bush presidency. You'd probably gather just as much information about Trump's latest scandals from reading The New York Times and The Washington Post (although you might be making a mistake if you're heading for the op-ed section on either of those papers. Eeesh.).

[Alpha]

NOVEMBER

 

The Damsel - C-

 

Contains a plot and production value that belongs more on ABC Family than the big screen.

 

Love at First Sight - B-

 

While Love at First Sight is a pretty by-the-numbers high school romance, I liked some of the stylistic choices here and the performances were quite engaging, especially from the younger actors like David Mazouz.

 

Project Classified - B-

 

Even though there's one major plothole that would drive any film critic crazy (how could no one detect that somebody brought a smartphone into the facility? Don't they have security for that reason?), what makes Project Classified enjoyable is pure camp. I'm not much of a "turn off your brain" guy when it comes to watching movies, but this was some cheesy horror fun.

 

The Whale - B

 

The Whale is a pretty clever adaptation of the Moby Dick tale, and a good revitalization of the tired found-footage format. While some might argue that the trade-off for a more modern setting takes away from the source material's epic nature, The Whale does a very good job at making a gritty modern adaptation of Moby Dick, even if it doesn't compare to Herman Melville's magnum opus.

 

Hidden World - C+

 

An interesting story that would have been better told by a better director. Zack Snyder just doesn't have the patience to make this film, and as a result Hidden World just feels like a squandered attempt at world-building.

 

Pandemic - B

 

While the comparisions to films like Contagion and Outbreak may be inevitable, Pandemic stands on it's own, anchored by good direction from Marc Forster and a thrilling plotline that doesn't let go.

[Alpha]

DECEMBER

 

Cold as the Void - B-

 

A horror film that's driven more by performances and tension than jumpscares, which is a relief. The ending, I will say, is rather chilling, and Radha Mitchell's performance is a highlight from the film. It won't revolutionize horror, but it may give audiences some chills. Sorry for all the puns.

 

The Truth About the Harry Quebert Affair - B

 

While the mystery at the heart of the film becomes a little confusing (I had some trouble following what was going on during the second act), I think it's a generally slick thriller, elevated by good direction from Asif Kapadia, who helps make the film's setting stand out (even if Fincher's fingerprints are all over it), some great work from Ryan Gosling and Elle Fanning and a very intense score from Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor.

 

Extreme Dinosaurs - C-

 

Exhausting after a summer that featured films like Go Go GoBots and Dino-Riders. I have a feeling audiences are going to get tired of this fare pretty fast.

 

Faces & Voices: The True Story of Milli Vanilli - B

 

At times it plays out more like a documentary than a feature-length film, but Faces & Voices captures a very interesting story and adapts it with a certain kind of admirable gusto. Christoph Waltz makes a good turn as a desperate music producer, and the two unknown leads do some fine work that unfortunately won't be recognized due to their lack of status. Sigh.

 

The Hunchback of Notre Dame - B+

 

The original animated film is probably a personal favorite of mine, even though most would not consider it perfect. Here, Joe Wright does a fantastic job at his live-action adaptation, and certain tweaks to the animated film's plot help it improve. I especially like how the gargoyles' roles were downplayed here, as their presence in the original was a bit of a distraction from a very mature story. Eddie Redmayne gives a very good lead performance as Quasimodo, but it's Jessica Szohr and Charles Dance's work that stand out here. Overall, I think it does a good service to both the Disney animated film and Victor Hugo's original work, and it should be a pretty sizable hit during the holiday season.

 

ReBoot - B-

 

ReBoot is a great exercise in worldbuilding, but a bit weak in other departments. For example, the main character Bob (voiced by Taylor Kitsch) isn't all that interesting, and a bit of a hackneyed story prevent the film from being a truly memorable experience. Still, I have to give credit to Dean DeBlois and the animation department for making a very fascinating and compelling virtual world.

 

Tubular! - C+

 

The only things that are really memorable from Tubular! are the BMX racing sequences. They don't come till the third act, though, and because of this the film kind of slogs throughout the runtime.

 

When Winter Comes - C+

 

A mediocre psychological horror film that I wish had spent more time on the "psychological" than the "horror". Ethan Hawke makes a good turn as an estranged father.

 

And that wraps up Year 1! My top 25 list will be posted soon.

Edited September 17, 2017 by Alpha

[cookie]

I'm pushing Dance for Best Supporting Actor so nice to hear he's getting high remarks.

[Alpha]

Not gonna put in a lot of suspense to this one, if you've been following my rankings.

 

25. BraveStarr

24. Kelsey Came Home

23. The Yellow Wallpaper

22. The Whale

21. The Space Pirates

20. The Curse of Monkey Island

19. The Provider

18. Me and My Shadow

17. Rollercoaster

16. Mara, Daughter of the Nile

15. SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron

14. The SCP Foundation

13. Voltron: Defenders of the Universe

12. Touching Spirit Bear

11. Seance

10.

Amulet

9.

A Love to Die For

8.

Flowers for Algernon

7.

Spark: Rising

6.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

5.

WHITE HURRICANE

4.

THE ADVENTURES OF SCROOGE MCDUCK

3.

BLOOD AND FUR

2.

LIFE IS STRANGE

1.

SEEING HER

[Xillix]

Thanks for top 5!  

[cookie]

#4 and #6 for Scrooge McDuck and Hunchback? Sweet.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Thanks for all of the mentions, including #1!