The Snowman (2017)

[baumer]

Discuss

[DeeCee]

Dull and boring. Terrible editing.  There’s a scene that’s literally a single cut from Harry looking into a bar and then he’s passed out drunk in the snow on the footpath. 

 

Red herrings everywhere. Even if  the odd plot line goes somewhere you just don’t care.  JK Simmons character could have been cut from the film entirely. The best scene is Val Kilmer drunk at Toby Jones birthday party in the police station. 

 

I seriously considered having a nap. 

[CJohn]

The editing was the worst thing. Horrible jumps from scene to scene (like the one DeeCee's mentions), he uses a scene where Fassbender opens a fucking garage to pretend he is opening the door of a house, a scene in the beginning where we follow a Volvo from behind looks super weird and the brutal changes to the climax (clearly the last 20 minutes were mostly changed and they reused scenes from the previous ending to cover holes) plus Chloe Sevigny having two death scenes in the marketing also shows there is more to this than just "we forgot to shoot 10-15% of our script lol oops". And of course, Val Kilmer (but not his voice) in weird ass makeup and crazy hair. There is also some really bad CGI in his death scene.

 

Some sites are way overhyping this as some it is so bad it is good experience. This movie isn't that. It is just a boring and dull movie with a couple of beautifully shot scenes and a strong leading performance from Fassbender.

[Deja23]

It wasn't hilaribad like the Room and not something I'd want to rewatch for fun, but I couldn't help but laugh several times. There was a particular concert scene that I'll never forget. Overall, it has terrible editing with random scene jumps from present to past without any cues. Waste of talented actors. The dubbing was obvious (but understandable). A friend asked if a scene was a flashback and was actually unsure of about the fate of Rebecca Fergeson's character. Random story threads were added and dropped and the movie had several characters make stupid choices. The police also seemed uncaring and incompetent. And the ending was meh. At least we saw that Norway is beautiful in the winter. 

[DeeCee]

I forgot the concert. That was hilarious.  

 

Apparently in Norway one of criticisms is that they never drive on right road to the town they’re heading to. 

[baumer]

WTF did I just watch?  This might be the dumbest movie I've ever seen.  What was the point of the JK Simmons subplot?  Did Rebecca Ferguson die?  Was it ever any doubt that it was Mathias?  Why did Fassbender's ex-girlfriend stop grinding him on the floor?  How did Mathias get into Katrine's room?  Why did Mathias' mom kill herself?  And so on.  Also, these have to be the stupidest police people in the history of police.  Anyone with the most rudimentary knowledge of grade 3 science could tell you that Val Kilmer had a snowman on his head and that it melted.  Also, anyone could tell you the doctor did not kill himself.  But nope, these fucking twats take one look at both crime scenes and decide both cases were suicide.  I hated pretty much everything about this movie.

 

2/10

[Kvikk Lunsj]

I saw this tonight and it was bad like everyone says. I thought the first 20-30 minutes were alright it had me interested but they add in some many subplots. They two police officer are dumb. They make so many mistake the police make in this movie.  How come they never call for back or let someone know where they are. The movie is visually stunning

D-

[That One Girl]

?

[somebody85]

I've seen this film on so many worst of lists that I'm almost curious to see how big a train wreck it is. Some say it's worse than Rings....and I will turn it off if so. Heard Wish Upon is so bad it's good too.

[baumer]

5 hours ago, somebody85 said:

I've seen this film on so many worst of lists that I'm almost curious to see how big a train wreck it is. Some say it's worse than Rings....and I will turn it off if so. Heard Wish Upon is so bad it's good too.

 

This isn't so bad it's good, it's so bad that you wonder what the fuck were they thinking?

[somebody85]

On 1/20/2018 at 7:58 PM, baumer said:

 

This isn't so bad it's good, it's so bad that you wonder what the fuck were they thinking?

Yeah, maybe not then. 

[Blankments]

The Snowman feels like an enigma. The first half hour is completely indecipherable. The editing feels off throughout, which is odd considering the pedigree and makes one really believe this was butchered by the studio. The overall narrative is needlessly sprawling and told in an absolutely convoluted way. The self-serious tone honestly makes the campy elements much worse, from a bizarre Val Kilmer performance and a score straight out of a 90s TV movie. It's impossible to buy into any of it, since none of these characters are really worth rooting for. Sure, it's always nice to see Fassbender and Simmons doing an accent is fun, but it's a long slog to get through otherwise. The one bright spot is the cinematography, which always looks nice and sometimes mirrors other films in a unique way. Unfortunately, intriguingly derivative cinematography is not nearly enough to make a film good. The Snowman is a mess of a crime thriller and a hard movie to sit through, not because of the content, but because of the awful filmmaking. An impressive trainwreck. D-

[Webslinger]

The Snowman may not quite be the worst movie of 2017 (it's ever-so-slightly above The Mummy in my book), but it's a film where nearly every single scene in the two-hour running time begs the question: What were they thinking?! For all the talent on both sides of the camera, it's a disaster. Not one of the actors feels at all connected to their character, the editing is comically bad (I get the feeling that Thelma Schoonmaker and Claire Simpson were brought in only as a last-ditch effort to salvage an otherwise completely indecipherable cut), none of the subplots go anywhere until an absurd contrivance near the end of the film, the lack of any meaningful character development robs the little action of any stakes, and there are so many unintentionally hilarious touches (the upbeat music in a scene that tries to be tense, severed heads placed on snowmen, awful CGI in a murder scene, and best of all: HARRY HOLE) that it's difficult to take the film seriously. But the film's biggest sin is that it's boring; despite the pedigree of the cast and crew, it never even rises to the level of a mediocre TV procedural. The striking cinematography and Marco Beltrami's characteristically solid score are among the only saving graces, but they can't undo the damage in nearly every single other facet of the film.

 

D-