The Bamboo Awards: BORN IN CHINA WINS IT ALL!

[Fancyarcher]

So someone on here is reading my reviews. I'm impressed.

Edited December 31, 2017 by Fancyarcher

[CJohn]

2 hours ago, The Last Panda said:

Number 6

Dunkirk

 

"We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be."

 

My Grade: A

Most Valuable Player: Christopher Nolan's Direction

Box Office: 188m

Tomatometer: 92%

Synopsis: Allied soldiers from Belgium, the British Empire and France are surrounded by the German Army, and evacuated during a fierce battle in World War II.

Critic Opinion: "Nolan concentrates exclusively on the perspective of the trapped Allies in a film that, as it transports viewers back to that desperate week in 1940, would seem to capture the actual experience of war in a way few others have done before.  Technically awe-inspiring, narratively inventive and thematically complex, Dunkirk reinvigorates its genre with a war movie that is both harrowing and smart." - Kate Taylor, Globe and Mail

User Opinion: "War movies are often violent and heroic, or either of those things. Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk, on the other hand, is a film that literally gives the audience the true feeling and experience of the actual war as it depicts the battle of Dunkirk (Dunkerque, France), during World War II. It’s not a traditional war film, and it certainly doesn’t follow a traditional story structure either. Dunkirk is an amazing film that deserves to be seen in the best IMAX theater possible." - @Fancyarcher

Reasoning: Dunkirk is Christopher Nolan's tightest film when it comes to running times, and it's also his best film.  The movie is neatly interwoven between three stories transpiring over different time frames, and that narrative style is just exceptional in its style.  The cinematography is both beautiful, and works to display the intensity that would be taking place in this situation.  Nolan leaves you on the edge of your seat the entire time, despite not really knowing who is who as all of the faces seem to blend together, and this almost feels as if it is part of the style Nolan is going for.  It's a showpiece on Nolan's behalf, and it really works.  The whole movie almost feels like a horror film, leaving you feeling as if you're trapped inside the war as well, and waiting out of fear of when a bombing strike might happen.  Seeing this in 70mm IMAX was an experience, and not really to the film's fault, it doesn't hold up quite as well when downgrading, but that still doesn't stop the movie from being great in its own right.  Dunkirk is an unconventional, minimalistic war film that I really enjoyed.

 

 

 

Too low.

[The Panda]

Time to finish this list up!

 

Best Director

 

Honorable Mention #4

Patty Jenkins, Wonder Woman

 

Honorable Mention #3

Martin McDonagh, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

 

Honorable Mention #2

Jordan Peele, Get Out

 

Honorable Mention #1

Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk

 

Co-Runner Up

Denis Villeneuve, Blade Runner 2049

 

Runner Up

Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird

 

Winner

Rian Johnson, Star Wars: The Last Jedi

 

 

Edited December 31, 2017 by The Last Panda

[Porthos]

3 hours ago, The Last Panda said:

Number 6

Dunkirk

*contemplates whether or not he should "@" MrPink* 

[The Panda]

Just now, Porthos said:

*contemplates whether or not he should "@" MrPink* 

[That One Girl]

@MrPink

[Ethan Hunt]

5 minutes ago, The Last Panda said:

 

 

 

Winner

Rian Johnson, Star Wars: The Last Jedi

 

 

Oh boy

[Porthos]

7 minutes ago, The Last Panda said:

Time to finish this list up!

 

Best Director

 

Honorable Mention #1

Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk

 

Winner

Rian Johnson, Star Wars: The Last Jedi

 

 

 

1 minute ago, Ethan Hunt said:

Oh boy

@MrPink

Edited December 31, 2017 by Porthos

[MrPink]

[The Panda]

Number 4

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

 

"It's 'Persons of color'-torturing business, these days, if you want to know. And I didn't torture nobody."

 

My Grade: A

Most Valuable Player: Martin McDonagh for Directing and Writing

Box Office: 23.7m

Tomatometer: 93%

Synopsis: THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI is a darkly comic drama from Academy Award nominee Martin McDonagh (In Bruges). After months have passed without a culprit in her daughter's murder case, Mildred Hayes (Academy Award winner Frances McDormand) makes a bold move, painting three signs leading into her town with a controversial message directed at William Willoughby (Academy Award nominee Woody Harrelson), the town's revered chief of police. When his second-in-command Officer Dixon (Sam Rockwell), an immature mother's boy with a penchant for violence, gets involved, the battle between Mildred and Ebbing's law enforcement is only exacerbated.

Critic Opinion: "Martin McDonagh is not a typical writer-director. And Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is assuredly not that movie. Rather, it is a film that continually complicates and recomplicates itself, denying viewers the comfort of easy moral footing. It is by turns heartbreaking, harrowing in its violence, and very, very funny, and it features Oscar-level performances by Frances McDormand, Woody Harrelson, and Sam Rockwell. It contains both the most moving scene I saw in a theater this year and the most mordant bit of black comedy. Though it’s set in a (fictional) town in the Midwest, it exists very much in the moral terrain of Flannery O’Connor’s bleak, existential humor, as is made clear by the fact that we first meet one character while he is reading “A Good Man Is Hard to Find.” Even for fans of McDonagh—and I am certainly one—Three Billboards is a revelation, and among the very best films of 2017." - Christopher Orr, The Atlantic

User Opinion: "Its hard to put feelings down on this movie. It's great, darkly humorous, and real. I'm not usually one to care if what I'm seeing in film is necessarily realistic, but everything in this movie felt more like an unfolding of real events, and still felt like a complete story. McDormand is perfect. Rockwell is perfect. Harrelson is Harrelson. And Dinklage is an important humanizing part of the film. The ending is spot on. While I'd love the tight little bow of it all being wrapped up, but here we get character growth and that sense of...future, I guess. It's late my thoughts aren't the best. But this movie is great." - @Sand-omJC

Reasoning:  An absolute powerhouse of a movie in just about every aspect, from Martin McDonagh's biting script, to the best performances I have seen in a movie this year.  Three Billboards is a darkly comic movie that touches on suffering, loss, the justice system, sexual assault and mourning.  The film is subversive, twisting your expectations on what's going to happen, and it manages to take deeply flawed human beings and make you sympathize for their situations at various points.  Even with Rockwell's character, Three Billboards manages to set up a horrific guy, who's quite similar to a corrupt officer you may find in reality, turn the character around in the end, and make it work.  The film is an absolutely impressive, funny and moving feat.  There's so much classic material in this film, from McDormand's monologues and takedowns, to Harrelson's letters, to the outrageous behavior that ends up naturally working in the film.  It also features one of my favorite scenes this year, in which McDormand talks to a deer as if it's her daughter reincarnated, it's a really beautiful moment.  McDonagh really outdid himself with this movie, it's one that resonates the more you dwell on it.

 

 

 

[RandomCat]

17 minutes ago, The Last Panda said:

User Opinion: "Its hard to put feelings down on this movie. It's great, darkly humorous, and real. I'm not usually one to care if what I'm seeing in film is necessarily realistic, but everything in this movie felt more like an unfolding of real events, and still felt like a complete story. McDormand is perfect. Rockwell is perfect. Harrelson is Harrelson. And Dinklage is an important humanizing part of the film. The ending is spot on. While I'd love the tight little bow of it all being wrapped up, but here we get character growth and that sense of...future, I guess. It's late my thoughts aren't the best. But this movie is great." - @Sand-omJC

One, yay i was quoted.

Two, I stand by my poorly worded comments.

[The Panda]

3rd: Co-Runner Up for Best Picture
Get Out

 

"Consider this situation fuckin' handled."

 

My Grade: A+

Most Valuable Player: Jordan Peele for his Screenplay and Direction

Box Office: 175.5m

Tomatometer: 99%

Synopsis: It's time for a young African-American to meet with his white girlfriend's parents for a weekend in their secluded estate in the woods, but before long, the friendly and polite ambience will give way to a nightmare.

Critic Opinion: "Peele (“Key & Peele”) makes his directorial debut here, and mines the current tremors in the zeitgeist, the way people of color are questioning their place in a post-election America, with wit and precision. The way he pivots from horror to comedy keeps us entertained and off-balance.  As Chris comes to realize that keeping his head down won’t keep him safe as a black man in America, “Get Out” forces us to confront uncomfortable truths." - Karen D'Souza

User Opinion: "Best horror movie I've ever seen" - @Ethan Hunt

Reasoning: I loved this movie, it was absolutely perfect in everything it was trying to accomplish, and yes I am saying that and still 'only' putting this movie at number three (I just really liked the last two a hedge more).  I labored over where I wanted to put Get Out, I swapped it between the number 1 and 2 positions for a while, in fact I was still deliberating before posting this (which is why it's taking me so long to get this follow up post posted).  The film captures this idea of hypnotism and so cleverly ties it, and the horror movie tropes, to the modern racial problems that happen in society today.  It's a perfect length, it's hilarious, it's relevant and it's technically well made.  The hypnosis scene is another one of my top favorites from this year.  If there's any movie from 2017 that's going to be remembered as a classic, it's probably this one.  An innovative and fun piece, and I hope it wins the Oscar because I know for sure my numbers 2 and 1 aren't even getting nominated.

 

 

 

[Porthos]

[That One Girl]

I hope to god that Blade Runner is #1.  I got it on digital and was planning to rewatch only a few bits of it but ended up watching at least an hour and a half of it.  It's sooooo fucking good.  Plan to do a full rewatch in the near future.

[The Panda]

Still wondering if it was a mistake not ranking Get Out at #2 or #1 rn, but it's done!  Now for the award before I announce numbers 2 and 1.

 

For the Honorary Bamboo Stick, I choose my favorite art thing from the year that wasn't a film.  Last year I chose Game of Thrones Season 6,  and that was the first year I did this.  The year before that I would have chosen Hamilton, and the year before that would have likely been Season 5b of Breaking Bad (for reference).  I'll expand it a little bit and put the honorable mentions and runners up in this post right after this and then give the winner it's own post so I can talk a bit about it.

 

Honorable Mention #4

Super Mario Odyssey

 

Honorable Mention #3

Stranger Things Season 2

 

Honorable Mention #2

The Handmaid's Tale Season 1

 

Honorable Mention #1

Ola Gjeilo's 'Winter Songs'

 

 

Co-Runner Up

Game of Thrones Season 7

 

Runner Up

Master of None Season 2

 

 

 

[The Panda]

I should come up with a better name for this thing

 

Honorary Bamboo Stick for Achievement in Something That Wasn't Film

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

 

"Your inventory is full."

 

My Grade: A+

MetaCritic Score: 97

Synopsis: Forget everything you know about The Legend of Zelda games. Step into a world of discovery, exploration and adventure in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, a boundary-breaking new game in the acclaimed series. Travel across fields, through forests and to mountain peaks as you discover what has become of the ruined kingdom of Hyrule in this open-air adventure. Explore the wilds of Hyrule any way you like.

Critic Opinion: "It’s The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, a return to the land of Hyrule that’s unlike any of the brilliant Zelda titles that’s come before. This isn’t a game about gimmicks or unique gaming conventions; it’s just simply a fantastic story placed in one of the most complete open worlds you’ll ever play. Every single gameplay mechanic dovetails flawlessly in Breath of the Wild, and the resulting game could easily still have secrets 100 hours into its action."

User Opinion: "I feel Breath of the Wild has all the foundations needed to be the best Zelda (and best game ever) but it's not 100% Ocarina of Time-level. It's the best the series've been in a long time though. I'll be very interested in seeing what the story DLC brings." - @cookie

Reasoning: Okay, now I'm not a really big video game guy, I'll play a couple every year or so (plus some of the party/co-op games with my friends) and even then I rarely finish them, nevertheless completely finish a 100+ hour game.  It's such an investment, but I actually did it for this game.  It was spectacular.  Everything was so finely tuned, the story was engaging (for a Nintendo game at least), it was creative and travelling any around an open world with so much attention to nature was spectacular.  Now, if there's any game franchise I am a fanboy of, it's the Zelda franchise (and maybe the Pokemon one too), so high praise sounds like it should be obvious from me.  However, this is up there with Ocarina of Time as one of the greatest games ever made.  I'll just leave it at that because I am much better at talking about movies, and if y'all care about anything on this list it's not this but it's my picks for numbers 1 and 2 of the year.

 

 

 

 

Edited December 31, 2017 by The Last Panda

[Porthos]

16 minutes ago, The Last Panda said:

 Now for the award before I announce numbers 2 and 1...

 

2 minutes ago, The Last Panda said:

I should come up with a better name for this thing...

 

 

Never EVER forget folks:

 

 

(He's actually letting us off easy this year)

((SO FAR))

[The Panda]

Fun fact, this is the 2nd year in a row I've put a Villeneuve movie in 2nd place.  I almost had it at number 1 but then I didn't... Oops!  But to be fair, this is probably my favorite of Villeneuve's movies so far (and that says a lot)!

 

2nd: Runner Up for Best Picture

Blade Runner 2049

 

"Mere data makes a man. A and C and T and G. The alphabet of you. All from four symbols. I am only two: 1 and 0."

 

My Grade: A+

Most Valuable Player: Roger Deakins for the Cinematography (and also Villeneuve, obviously.  Hail Villeneuve)

Box Office: 91.5m

Tomatometer: 87%

Synopsis: Thirty years after the events of the first film, a new blade runner, LAPD Officer K (Ryan Gosling), unearths a long-buried secret that has the potential to plunge what's left of society into chaos. K's discovery leads him on a quest to find Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford), a former LAPD blade runner who has been missing for 30 years.

Critic Opinion: "But the new Blade Runner amazes because every aspect is top notch: Hampton Fancher’s story is surprisingly emotional, Benjamin Wallfisch and Han Zimmer’s pounding soundtrack is just as integral as Vangelis’ ethereal original score, and cinematographer Roger Deakins will get his first Oscar if there’s any justice. The sequel takes the futuristic action out of L.A., into the literal dump that is San Diego and Las Vegas’ radioactive wasteland, and the stunning visuals add to the enjoyably visceral experience. ... The first Blade Runner influenced a generation of filmmakers and films; 2049 is the rare sequel that exceeds the original and honestly could be more important in the long run. It’s a moving, masterful movie that demands a rewatch and will wow geeks and mainstream viewers alike." - Brian Truitt, USA Today

User Opinion: "Gosling was stoic, but it made total sence in this world. Ford is at his best since - well, maybe The Fugitive. Ana de Armas as Joi was also a delight. Such an interesting idea. Generally this movie is just a wet dream for sci-fi-fans. It not only feels like a proper Blade Runner film, it expands the world and gives the audience a lot to think and process about. In the end, the 3 hours flew by and the ending was somewhat abrupt to me but nevertheless, i think this is a masterpiece and i enjoy it more than the original." - @Brainbug

 

"Anyways, I really dug this." - @4815162342

Reasoning:: Blade Runner is a movie that's consistently within my top 75 movies of all-time (it can alternate depending on the day), and I dare say that I think this movie is better than the original. I absolutely loved what Villeneuve did with this movie, and how he took the same style as the original, and expanded upon it to create something even more fascinating than the first one.  The visuals are astounding, and the cinematography and design work are simply the best of the year.  It's a long movie, but I really don't know what I'd remove from it (besides maybe the replicant revolution set up bit?  But even that has its purpose).  The whole idea of Joi's character is marvelous, it results in one of the best sex scenes ever put to screen, and it presents this idea of what exactly is Joi's programming (the 1s and 0s) and what's actually her.  Blade Runner 2049 is a movie that asks what makes something human, and it explores that idea so intimately.  It subverts common tropes, such as the idea of a special chosen one, and there's so much visual wonder to chew on you have to give it multiple viewings.  Villeneuve proves with Blade Runner 2049 to be one of, if not the, best modern filmmakers working right now.

 

 

 

Edited December 31, 2017 by The Last Panda

[The Panda]

And now for the Best Picture of the Year!

 

Best Picture

Born in China

 

"Panda's are basically the opposite of monkeys."

 

My Grade: A PLUS PLUS PLUS!

Most Valuable Player: Me!

Box Office: I Don't Want to Talk About it

Tomatometer: I'd prefer not to talk about this either

Critic Opinion: "I can only dream of making movies as good as this one!" - Christopher Nolan ... maybe...

User Opinion: "Holy mother of jesus this is without a single doubt the greatest documentary movie I've ever seen. It literally deserves to win BP at the Oscars. I don't think I'll ever see this one being toped in my life time." - @vc2002 (ACTUAL USER OPINION, GO LOOK)

 

"The scenes without the pandas dragged the film down :sparta:" - @That One Guy

 

"" - @filmlover

Reasoning: What else would it be?  Could it be anything else?  I thought not.  Now sit back and watch Ya-Ya and Mei Mei!

 

 

 

Edited December 31, 2017 by The Last Panda

[Porthos]

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