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DAJK's Best and Worst of 2017

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That time of year again, where I wait slightly too long before compiling my ''best and worst of'' in order to sneak in a couple more movies. I'm trying not to step on anybody else's toes with this list, so if you already have a thread going on with your list that I happened to miss, please let me know and I will kindly put this on pause until you are finished :)

 

Now, considering I'm in college now rather than high school, I've been spending even more time studying etc and just didn't see quite as many movies as last year. (I've seen about 80 movies this year compared to the 90-100 I saw last year at the time I made my list). SO, as is to be expected, I will have some movies missing that I really did want to watch before doing this list, so I will honour them in this post. I did become slightly more selective with the movies I watched this year as well, so I didn't watch as many bad movies as I usually do, so while my bottom 10 of the year is certainly full of bad movies, they aren't all garbage fires like they were last year (although there certainly are some stinkers in here for sure).

 

Anyways, since it is 1AM, I will stop rambling and quickly run through the top 5 movies that won't be included on this list. Most of these movies I will watch eventually, but I would prefer not to wait until March to do this list :P While there are many more movies I should include, these 5 are ones I really wish I could have seen.

 

 

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I'm just going to do 1 tonight, and will continue tomorrow evening after my shift :) I just want to say thank you in advance to everyone who takes the time to read through my list. From one film fan to another, here's to another awesome year for movies in 2018!!!!!!

 

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# 10 Worst Movie of 2017

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Rotten Tomatoes score: 49%

Domestic Box Office: $41.2M

 

‘’There is no soul, and no heart to the story. A good sci-fi is never merely about the effects, it's about the plot, character and thoughts they bring to life, all of which Valerian lacks in abundance.’’ – Joseph Walsh, CineVue

 

‘’The movie's a mess, it's entertaining at times, but that doesn't stop it from feeling like the equivalent of a kid mixing every fountain drink in his cup thinking it's innovative in cool but gets something disgusting in return. The movie's a mess, it's entertaining at times, but that doesn't stop it from feeling like the equivalent of a kid mixing every fountain drink in his cup thinking it's innovative in cool but gets something disgusting in return.’’ – @New Year New Panda

 

 

My take - A sci-fi spectacle with a huge budget, some names I really like attached, and a trailer which, while a bit messy, showed a lot of potential for innovative and exciting action. Should be something I really enjoy right? Unfortunately, Valerian and the City of A Thousand Planets, while not without its moments, suffered from a severe lack of chemistry between the leads, a really lame villain, clunky action, and messy plotting/pacing. 

 

The first 45 minutes or so were relatively exciting, and were what saved this movie from being a total dud. The sequence in the shopping mall or whatever was really fun, and not like anything I had really seen in sci-fi yet. If there's one thing Besson can do as a director it is throw some cool and quirky visuals on the screen. However, once the story moves on to the meat of its plot, Valerian completely lost me. The plot was a complete bore, the action was disappointingly poor in my opinion despite the visuals remaining spectacular, and the characters were almost as one-dimensional as the cardboard cut-out of my dad that's in our city's hospital! No compelling story or characters renders any sort of pretty visuals completely useless.

 

By the end of the movie, I just wanted to go home and go to bed. I saw this at a staff screening a day or two before the movie released, and tried pretending I liked it to please my manager, as she was so excited for the movie that she stayed up until 3AM so that we could do a showing of it. I just focused on the aspects of the movie I enjoyed; the effects and the first act. As you might notice with the first few movies on my list, there are actually some things I liked in the films, albeit not a lot of things, which goes to show how man truly awful films I managed to avoid. But don't get me wrong, Valerian as a whole is bad. Bad bad bad. Sorry @That One Guy

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# 9 Worst Movie of 2017

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

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Rotten Tomatoes score: 36%

Domestic Box Office: $26.8M

 

''Boasting a higher body count than its IQ, "Resident Evil: The Final Chapter" is violent, idiotic fun.’’ – Kimber Meyers, Los Angeles Times

 

''This is an improvement from Retribution and Afterlife. I was actually interested at how it was going to end. The beginning action scenes were poor, but it got better and better as it went along. The ending was moving, and I was happy with it.’’ – @Mr Impossible

 

 

My take - To be fair, it was kind of my fault for seeing this. Nobody really expected it to be that good, I'm just a bit surprised it didn't end up higher on my list. To be fair, some of the action was fine and some of the violent sequences were okay. But overall this was just a mess of a movie from start to finish. While I didn't find it offensively bad, there was just absolutely nothing memorable about it, and it was the very definition of a ''bleh'' movie. Even if I tried to, I couldn't tell you the final twist without googling it. None of the story beats left an impact, none of the action wowed me, and none of the horror elements were suspenseful whatsoever. Usually, if I'm watching a horror movie or even a violent action movie in a theatre, I have no problem with cringing in my seat or subtly covering my face. There was no need here since there was nothing scary or suspenseful to shy away from. 

 

Coming from the guy who directed Pompeii, Resident Evil The Final Chapter makes that guilty pleasure look like Gladiator. I have seen in some of the comments on this site that some people really enjoyed this, and to you I say congrats, but next time, I'm not going to plan a double feature of this and La La Land. I'll just leave the theatre as soon as the Damien Chazelle masterpiece is over and not wait around to see what Paul W.S Anderson has cooked up. 

 

Mila Jovavich looked good I guess... I dunno, I wouldn't say she did anything to save the movie. Sure she's got good charisma and is a totally believable action star, but there was nothing to her performance other than grunt, yell, run, and occasionally look shocked or confused. 

Edited by DAJK
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# 8 Worst Movie of 2017

Free Fire

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Rotten Tomatoes score: 68%

Domestic Box Office: $1.8M

 

‘’Ben Wheatley shouldn't settle for becoming the next Guy Ritchie. For some reason, he'd like to.’’ -Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out

 

 

My Take - Did anyone actually even see this movie? I saw it opening night Friday because I didn't want to see Unforgettable... and was one of two people in the theatre. I got in using my staff card, so aka this movie had one paying customer. WOOF. It looked interesting enough, but I wasn't entirely sure how they would be able to stretch this one-note concept into an entertaining 90 minute film? The answer is they didn't.

 

Free Fire is the try-hard movie of the year. I couldn't quite put my finger on it until I found the above quote on Rotten Tomatoes which I totally agree with. This movie is trying to be every Guy Ritchie or Shane Black film, but doesn't fully succeed and reeks of desperation. To be honest, I got pretty bored as soon as the guns began to fire, and forgot any and all setup the film tried to put forward with each of the characters. Who is this in relation to this person?  Why should I care? Oh, they're dead now? Ok...

 

The performances were adequate. No actor in the movie stood out as a sore thumb, and everyone seemed like they were having a good time. But I don't go see movies for the acting, unless the performance is something incredible like Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything. The underlying problem is that Free Fire is not entertaining at all, there is no single character worth caring about, and the ''plot'' if you will call it, is so one-note and boring. 

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# 7 Worst Movie of 2017

Downsizing

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Rotten Tomatoes score: 50%

Domestic Box Office: $22.9M as of this writing

 

‘’The first half of the movie is pretty good but then it all goes to hell.’’ – Bob Grimm, Reno News and Review

 

‘’Yeah, this was a disappointment of monumental proportions. It starts really well for the first third and seems like it's headed in a fun direction with the premise, but then Matt Damon (giving the kind of performance he could do in his sleep at this point) gets small and it becomes really boring, and is topped off by a "save the environment" message delivered with the subtlety of a sledgehammer.’’ – @filmlover

 

 

My Take - POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD, BUT DO YOU REALLY CARE... I almost feel bad about putting this movie on my list. Almost. That's because I would say that the first half hour or so is genuinely great. The premise is clearly an intriguing one, and the first act of this movie really plays along with the premise, and presents some interesting questions, imaginative sequences, and a few characters worth following and caring about. Seeing Leisureland for the first time is pretty cool, and the opening of the film just explodes with tons of possibilities for what this film can do and be.

 

Aaaaaaand then it all falls flat. Like, WOOF did this go in the wrong direction. I'm not sure it even picked a direction to go in! Damon's character becomes super one note, and the fact that they pretty much showed no repercussions to what happened between him and Wiig completely throws away anything the movie was trying to set up previously. The humor, which I enjoyed during the first act, fell completely flat as well, and the magic of the premise was gone. Seriously, this has to be a contender for ''worst one year later jump since, or including Fant4stic''. At least Fant4stic wasn't any good before the ''one year later'' jump either, so it didn't lose out on anything.

 

Pretty much the only saving grace of the last hour and a half of Downsizing was Hong Chau's performance. While I understand the controversy surrounding the racist stereotype of her character, and I do not disagree with them, I do have to give credit to her where it is due and that is that she was able to stand out as a truly good performer in an otherwise train wreck of a movie. 

 

Just don't see Downsizing. Seriously, the slog that is this movie is nowhere near worth the price of admission, nor is it worth seeing some interesting themes being explored here and there. What a waste of an awesome premise, awesome cast, and solid release date.

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# 6 Worst Movie of 2017

The Circle

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Rotten Tomatoes score: 16%

Domestic Box Office: $20.5M

 

''This is one of the most crashing letdowns of 2017.'' - Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times  

 

''Holy FUCK this was bad. Absolutley no character arcs, bad editing and pacing, and dialogue and scenarios that are so bad to the point of comedy make this one of the worst films I have seen in YEARS. 1/10 F'' @WrathOfHan

 

 

 My take - Yea, this movie is a sloppy mess. There were so many plot elements that went absolutely nowhere, that it was almost to the point of ''I got the results of the test back.. I definitely have breast cancer.'' What was the point of John Boyega's character? What did it do for the movie for it to spend half an hour following Emma Watson's dreadfully boring daily life with thousands of people watching her? And what the FUCK was up with that ending...

 

To add insult to injury, The Circle did not just cap off a bad and boring movie with a bad ending, but probably one of the worst endings I have ever seen in a movie. Like, what the hell happened...  I'm not just talking about the plot, but rather the making of this thing, because it's a complete disaster. What's the point of filling your movie with expensive talent if you're going to give them absolutely nothing to do. To go even further, what's the point of even making a movie if nobody gives two hoots about it and nothing happens in it. The Circle was a complete and utter waste of screen space for every movie theatre that played it, and marks the point on my list where I am starting to transition from baaaad movies to awful, dreadful movie. The Circle, you were just first on the chopping block. :gold:

 

 

Edited by DAJK
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# 5 Worst Movie of 2017

The Shack

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Rotten Tomatoes score: 20%

Domestic Box Office: $57.4M

 

''If Octavia Spencer is God, then Lord, take me to church.'' - Katie Walsh, Tribune News Service

 

 

My take - I am not a religious person, nor do I have anything against movies which are faith-based in their storytelling. If a movie looks good, I'll check it out. If it doesn't... I still might see it because I'm an idiot. However, The Shack was a movie my mum really wanted to see, and who could ever say no to their mother. And to be honest, I wasn't dreading seeing this or anything. A few years back, Miracles from Heaven proved that I can really enjoy a faith-based movie if it is well told, well scripted and well acted. 

 

The Shack is one of those things; it is well-acted. Sam Worthington and Octavia Spencer give legitimately good performances here. While Spencer is pretty much always good in everything, Worthington is the stand-out. He's great, and you really do feel the pain that this man is going through, and all the different emotions he feels as he goes through this ''process'' or whatever you would like to call it, throughout the movie. The opening few minutes of the movie truly is heartbreaking, and it is all down to Worthington's performance.

 

The rest of the movie however is a poorly made, horribly scripted, and jarring sequence of scenes. Much of the second and third act of this movie did not even feel like a coherent movie, but rather a sequence of events that was cut together and called a movie. While I'm not sure how much of that might have had to do with the book, and how much of it is the film itself, I won't generally forgive a movie even if ''it is just following the book''. A movie must be able to tell a coherent story and keep a narrative focused throughout its runtime. If your pacing is terrible, your editing terrible, and your movie boring as watching paint dry, than any sort of deeper message, no matter how touching or how honest and true it might be, falls flat. I think The Shack actually does a disservice to faith-based films, as it tries to manipulate its audience into caring for a hollow film rather than presenting a good movie. These types of films have shown that they can be good, as I'm sure that many people can understand, but this one unfortunately was a HUGE misfire. 

 

Like any other genre, I'm cheering for the next one to be better.

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# 4 Worst Movie of 2017

The House

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Rotten Tomatoes score: 18%

Domestic Box Office: $25.6M

 

''Even movies like Requiem for a Dream and Midnight House contain more laughs than The House.'' - Matt Brunson, Creative Loafing

 

"Not funny. Script was kind of silly, but not in a good way. I know this is a comedy so perhaps you are supposed to leave your brain at the door ... when stuff like this bugs you, then you know you aren't into the film. Renner's cameo was cool.'' - @baumer

 

My take - After Baywatch failed, I thought this would be the 100M breakout comedy of the summer... only for it to fail even harder than that mediocre-but-not-as-bad comedy dud. I guess I'm just terrible at predicting comedies, because I did not see Girls Trip being the hit that it was either.

 

Another movie I took my mum to see, and while I'm starting to feel like a terrible son, we pretty much got to laugh at how godawful the movie was. I thought the trailers looked great, especially the finger scene at the end, and I was pretty excited for a Ferrell/Pohler team-up. This movie however was even worse than that time Ferrell and Hart teamed up, and that wasn't even good to begin with. The House is just completely devoid of any laughs, chuckles, or entertainment. The characters are absolute shit, and you don't care for a single one of them. The jokes, whether improvised or scripted, were even worse. 

 

It just baffles me how a movie like this could go so wrong. You've got legitimately funny people starring in it, a major studio like WB, who have churned out many many many comedy hits, backing it with a significant budget... did at any point SOMEONE look at this and say ''yea maybe it's best nobody see this for the sake of our careers''. If Ferrell and Pohler weren't already established stars, this is what I would call the beginning and end of their careers. So, so bad guys, it isn't even worth laughing at. It's just sad that I took two hours out of my Sunday night to go see this, and I'm taking time out of my life to talk about it even more.

 

Edited by DAJK
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# 3 Worst Movie of 2017

A Cure for Wellness

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Rotten Tomatoes score: 42%

Domestic Box Office: $8.1M

 

''Verbinski inflates a story ready-made for a brisk Gothic shocker into a bloated, self-important mess.'' - Richard Brody, New Yorker

 

''Art.'' - @That One Guy

 

''A strange film, but something different'' - @Maxmoser3

 

My Take - Ugh, I'm sorry. I hate having the unpopular opinion sometimes, because it means there will be times that there's a movie that so many people enjoyed that I just couldn't get into. And this was one of them. I championed for this movie at work ever since I caught the trailer for the first time while putting away the stock order one week. I thought it would be everything Crimson Peak wasn't, and could be the next Shutter Island. Yikes.

 

Now, I'm not going to address the fucked up scenes in this movie that probably turned some other people off of it. A movie on this level is not enough to turn me away from it. What does turn me off of a film though is when some of the weird or messed up stuff in it is gratuitous and happening for no reason at all other than shock value. Plot threads seemed to go nowhere or offer no significance, DeHaan's character was uninteresting and not worth following around for 2.5 hours. And the pacing. OH THE PACING.

 

This movie has about 20 minutes of interesting stuff in it. If the whole thing was 90 minutes long, I would call it poorly paced but passable. But to have us sit there for a total of 2 hours with little-to-nothing happening just doesn't seem forgivable. The mystery unraveled at such a slow pace that by the time it started to show its hand, I was long-gone. I just didn't care anymore, mainly because I had been able to pretty much guess exactly where this was going. 

 

Overall, this was a movie that certainly had potential, and some of the on-screen and off-screen talent does show when looking at some of the technical aspects of the film. But this was one of the most excruciating theatre experiences I had all year. 

 

Edited by DAJK
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# 2 Worst Movie of 2017

The Bye Bye Man

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Rotten Tomatoes score: 23%

Domestic Box Office: $22.4M

 

 

''Pure incompetence.'' Tim Brayton, Alternate Ending

 

''God damnit this had potential. Anyway... The Bye Bye Man starts off promising but completely collapses due to a bad screenplay and inauthentic acting.'' - @somebody85

 

My take - A much worse film than A Cure for Wellness, but a much better experience watching the movie. My theatre played it for 1 week for one showing a night, and almost every day it was empty or had 2-3 people in it. So the last night it was playing me and about six other staff members went and saw it, and thankfully we were the only ones in there, because we had a fucking ball watching this thing. Throwing popcorn, laughing, taking videos of each other, pretty much everything a staff member shouldn't do, but we did clean up after ourselves, and no content of the movie was filmed don't worry ;)

 

To tell you the truth, we all started watching it trying to get into it. I was in the mood for a horror movie, and had my fingers crossed this wouldn't be all that bad and worth at least a few scares. Holy shit, this has got to be one of the most incompetent, unprofessional movies I have ever seen in a cinema. In grade 11 social studies, my group made a political party project where we had our own Purge, and the 1 minute segment we filmed for that had more tension and scares than this piece of shit... and that video was meant to be funny.

 

Awful acting, bad direction, no tension whatsoever and truly laughable dialogue wastes what was a pretty decent premise. The fact that the title 'the fucking bye bye man' isn't the worst thing about it is saying something. I want to thank this film though for giving me a good time with my friends, so there is that. 

Edited by DAJK
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# 1 Worst Movie of 2017

Transformers The Last Knight

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Rotten Tomatoes score: 16%

Domestic Box Office: $130.2M

 

 

''A movie that's cut like the world's longest and most tedious trailer, pinballing from scene to scene and rarely spending more than a few seconds on any single shot.'' - Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post

 

''I came to the decision half way during this movie that, barring incredible once-a-decade reviews, this is the last Transformers film I will ever see in any format. I will not even bother reading a plot synopsis on Wikipedia.'' - @Biggestgeekever

 

My take - Inexcusable. I get that it takes skill to make a movie period, let alone a good one. But Michael Bay has proven to us a couple of times that he is capable of making good, entertaining blockbusters. So why the hell are these Transformers sequels utter garbage that belong in some puddle of a back alleyway...

 

I re-watched the first Transformers movie this summer, and it is legitimately awesome. The humor works most of the time, the action is pretty good, the characters are likable and the story is good for what it is. None of those exist by the fifth installment; the action is absolutely terrible with nothing happening on screen making sense to the audience due to the camera's horrible movement, the story is forced and takes logical jumps that don't even lead anywhere anyways. None of the performances in this movie are good, not even ones delivered by usually-good actors. Every line and every facial expression is forced and cheesy here. 

 

The humor is even worse here than in the fourth movie. Not a single joke landed, nor did any plot element succeed in surprising me or make me want to invest in anything that was going on. Some segments drag on for unbearable amounts of time, while others are quickly introduced and then skipped over, creating logical discontinuities in the ''story''. 

 

Transformers, you had one awesome movie, and one decent sequel in Dark of the Moon. But you're not just past your expiry date. You've turned into that rotten milk that was forgotten in the back of the fridge and is making everything else around it smell bad. You ended up as my worst movie of 2014, and now once again here we are for 2014. Congratulations.

Edited by DAJK
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