Rorschach Reviews Y3: Top 25 Time!

[Rorschach]

Another year, another dose of F’s.

 

In a bit of a change-up from last year, I will be reviewing the films I listed as my most anticipated of Y3 two months back. Out of the 10, only 6 have been confirmed officially for Y3. Those films are (in alphabetical order):

 

Doom

God of War

Lilo and Stitch

The Number One Dime

The Prince of Egypt

Spark: Homeward

 

Aside from Spark: Homeward (which I read first so I wanna get a review out before I start piling on other films), you won’t know which review I’m gonna do first. Expect reviews to start sometime Monday when Part 1 officially ends.

Edited May 11, 2018 by Rorschach

[YM!]

58 minutes ago, Rorschach said:

Another year, another dose of F’s.

 

In a bit of a change-up from last year, I will be reviewing the films I listed as my most anticipated of Y3 two months back. Out of the 10, only 6 have been confirmed officially for Y3. Those films are (in alphabetical order):

 

Doom

God of War

Lilo and Stitch

The Number One Dime

The Prince of Egypt

Spark: Homeward

 

Aside from Spark: Homeward (which I read first so I wanna get a review out before I start piling on other films), you won’t know which review I’m gonna do first. Expect reviews to start sometime Monday when Part 1 officially ends.

Shit’s not looking good.

 

 

Don’t expect to much from GOW btw, it’s pure action porn.

[Rorschach]

2 hours ago, YourMother the Edgelord said:

Shit’s not looking good.

 

 

Don’t expect to much from GOW btw, it’s pure action porn.

I mean, I don’t hate Zack Snyder as a director and I think the material fits his style fairly well. It could be brainless fun? Don’t sink youself too deep in the quicksand now.

[Ethan Hunt]

We're. Wrong thread

Edited April 22, 2018 by Ethan Hunt

[Rorschach]

@Isle of Pasta @YourMother the Edgelord

Expect reviews for 2Park, Lilo and Stitch, and God of War sometime this afternoon. Might try to get one of the other three under my belt tonight if I can (I have a concert tonight so it may be a bit of a time crunch + family in town). So yeah, be afraid.

[Rorschach]

Spark: Homeward

 

So, I really wish I had re-read the first film again before I jumped into the second one. I can't really say how the two compare but I remember really liking it quite a bit.

 

That being said, this is just a wonderful film that I builds upon what made the first film so great, and much more. The action is both fun and riveting, the performances are solid from everyone, and the world is just as investing as ever. The world presented in both films is just such a blast to be in that you get a little sad when it all ends. I wish I could've been in that world just a little longer, but alas, every film has to end somewhere. Even when the film goes very dark in a few places during the story, it feels warranted and natural, not at all forced. 

 

Speaking of dark, Venchell is a pretty great villain. His design is pretty great, borrowing elements from three different characters in movies/shows I like as well, and Egerton plays the role with such great intensity/vulnerability. His motivations are both understandable and tragic at the same time. One of my biggest grips with the first film's villain was, while she wasn't horrible by any means, she didn't really leave much of any impact on me. In hindsight, the twist of her being the villain was fairly predictable and she really didn't have THAT much of a character for me to invest in. Completely different story here. I don't know if he'll get in but I'd totally support a nom for Egerton.

 

My only real gripe with the film does involve some some spoilers. Be warned those who haven't read it yet:

Spoiler

Okay, so I really liked where the Everett plotline was going for 1/3rd of the film he was in. The dynamic of him coming back into Alex's life and the two trying to rekindle as father/daughter was both engaging and heartwarming. I really wanted to see where that storyline would go. Alas, turns out that it was just the Everett was a robot the whole time, created just to lure Alex and co. to Venchell. I mean, it works fine as a twist to the movie and it is pretty damn shocking reading it but I was honestly a little disappointed. I don't know what the future has in store for the franchise but I'll be really bummed if Everett doesn't come back in some way. That plotline was just too good and cut so short. Maybe I'm reading to deep into it or whatnot but that really bummed me out.

 

The thing is, that's really the only gripe I have with the film. Everything else is just so wonderful.

 

That aside, like I said, Spark: Homeward is just a wonderful film. I don't really have any other adjectives to describe it other than that. It's just a wonderful, wonderful summer film. It keeps what made its predecessor so great while adding so much more to it. I can't highly recommend this film and the first film enough.

 

9/10

Edited April 23, 2018 by Rorschach

[Rorschach]

Note: I didn't get a chance to read the original version of 2park. Sounded really mixed from I what I heard. Well, whatever was done to fix it, it was into a really solid film. 

[YM!]

Damn Stitch or War is next. Not looking good rn.

[Rorschach]

God of War

 

On 4/21/2018 at 6:31 PM, YourMother the Edgelord said:

Don’t expect to much from GOW btw, it’s pure action porn.

Hm, pretty much yeah. 

 

Zack Snyder. Love him. Hate him. Love and hate him? I'd say the third option would be me. I quite like a lot of his early work. 300 is just a dumb, fun film that I feel gets blasted a lot, quite unnecessarily if you ask me. Watchmen is a solid adaptation of one of my favorite graphic novels, and Legend of the Guardians is a very badass kids film with some breathtaking and inventive action scenes. Man of Steel is just an alright film with some great moments sprinkled throughout, buried underneath an excessive running time. His other three films (Sucker Punch, BvS, and Justice League) are not good at all and signify many of his overall weaknesses as a director.

 

God of War kinda falls somewhere in the middle for me, right along with Man of Steel. It's not an awful film. A lot of the action scenes are damn entertaining and Jason Momoa is very compelling as Kratos. As the film goes on, however, the action just starts to become overwhelming. It's not bad action of anything. It's just that there's so much if it that it starts to become tedious, boring even. 142 minutes of mostly pure action can be accomplished but the problem is the story is just a little too simple to justify the long runtime. A runtime of a little under two hours, comparable to something like Mad Max: Fury Road or even Snyder's own 300, would've been a lot better.

 

Overall, a tighter runtime and a bit more story could've made for a much better film. As is, its an okay action film. Not one of the director's best but certainly not his worst. 

 

5/10

Edited April 23, 2018 by Rorschach

[Ezen Baklattan]

Whoa! I knew the score was coming but that was still an awesome review. Thank you so much. @Rorschach!

[Rorschach]

8 minutes ago, Isle of Pasta said:

Whoa! I knew the score was coming but that was still an awesome review. Thank you so much. @Rorschach!

Now I'm onto reading the film from you I've been anticipating the most, even more than 2park.

 

So expect a review for that later tonight or tomorrow. 

 

Edit: Actually, that's not true. One more review to go. THEN, onto that film.

Edited April 23, 2018 by Rorschach

[YM!]

10 minutes ago, Rorschach said:

God of War

 

Hm, pretty much yeah. 

 

Zack Snyder. Love him. Hate him. Love and hate him? I'd say the third option would be me. I quite like a lot of his early work. 300 is just a dumb, fun film that I feel gets blasted a lot, quite unnecessarily if you ask me. Watchmen is a solid adaptation of one of my favorite graphic novels, and Legend of the Guardians is a very badass kids film with some breathtaking and inventive action scenes. Man of Steel is just an alright film with some great moments sprinkled throughout, buried underneath an excessive running time. His other three films (Sucker Punch, BvS, and Justice League) are not good at all and signify many of his overall weaknesses as a director.

 

God of War kinda falls somewhere in the middle for me, right along with Man of Steel. It's not an awful film. A lot of the action scenes are damn entertaining and Jason Momoa is very compelling as Kratos. As the film goes on, however, the action just starts to become overwhelming. It's not bad action of anything. It's just that there's so much if it that it starts to become tedious, boring even. 142 minutes of mostly pure action can be accomplished but the problem is the story is just a little too simple to justify the long runtime. A runtime of a little under two hours, comparable to something like Mad Max: Fury Road or even Snyder's own 300, would've been a lot better.

 

Overall, a tighter runtime and a bit more story could've made for a much better film. As is, its an okay action film. Not one of the director's best but certainly not his worst. 

 

5/10

Yep. Saw this coming. 

[Rorschach]

Lilo and Stitch

 

The original film is probably one of my favorite animated Disney films, period. Somewhere in the top ten for sure. So, I had reasonably high expectations for the most part.

 

While I don't think its anywhere near as great as the original, this is still really good. The storyline with Lilo and Nani is just as heartwarming here as it was in the original, the best part of the original actually. Andy Serkis does really well in his mo-cap work as Stitch and Dave Bautista is surprisingly good as Jumba. The added stuff with his character's backstory brought a lot more depth to him than the original, something I wasn't really expecting. The only problem is that I wish it was woven in a little more naturally into the film, instead of him dumping it on the audience near the end of the film. Still, an inspired change nonetheless.

 

The beginning was a little rough in my opinion. The film, unnecessarily, feels the need to start with

Spoiler

the death of Lilo and Nani's parents

and is then followed by the introduction to the aliens. It's so jarring because you go from the real world, in a realistic setting with realistic characters and then BOOM, Aliens! The original did this far better, choosing to start with the aliens, establishing their presence, and THEN go to the real world where we are introduced back into normal reality, except not really. It doesn't really work the other way around. It's just more shocking than anything, and this is coming from someone who has seen the original and knows that aliens are involved in the film.

Spoiler

You also don't really need to show the parents' death as I feel, in the original, its much more powerful not knowing what happened and putting your own interpretation to what happened into it than to see it actually play out.

 

After that however, the film mostly plays out like the original and its very solid overall. Some changes and add-ins are more jarring than others but the film does very well at capturing the essence and soul of the original: the relationships between Lilo and Nani/Lilo and Stitch, and the film does this very well.

 

7/10 (bumped up from a 6/10 after initial viewing)

[Rorschach]

@Isle of Pasta PoE will probably have to wait for tomorrow. 

[Rorschach]

I read through all of January but I’m gonna hold off posting those reviews until I finish the other three movies I promised to read.

 

[Rorschach]

The Prince of Egypt

 

My relationship with religion is... complicated to say the least. I don't feel like delving too deep into a discussion about it. My beliefs have kinda waned in and out over the past several years. As of now, I'd say I'm somewhere in the area where I think a god could exist but I don't know well enough to have a concrete answer. Point is, my relationship with religion is rocky to say the least.

 

However, leaving that aside, there's still so much to love about this film. The original animated film by DreamWorks is one of the most underrated films of all time. Period. To see it come to life in live-action that matches the original's quality so well was so relieving. The music is astounding. They brought Hans Zimmer back which is an automatic plus in my book. His songs and orchestrations are so damn so powerful, they give me the chills. Seriously though, listening to "The Plagues" made me shiver so many times. It's grade-A stuff.

 

Of course, the thing I was most hoping for the film to get right was the relationship between Moses and Rameses, and it succeeds in that area, phenomenally. Stachel and Malek are both amazing in the role and deserve equal amounts of praise for their performances. The film adds a lot more to their dynamic than was in the original film (or maybe I'm misremembering a bit but it feels like stuff was added in) and it works well to the film's advantage. The final two confrontations (after the son's death and the parting sea) between them were heartbreaking to watch, seeing these two brothers who loved each other so dearly now down different paths was emotionally wrecking. I'm honestly having a hard time trying to choose which one I liked better. Personally, I'm rooting for both of them come Oscar season. 

 

The film's one falter comes in the middle where the section in Midian drags on just a little too long and the connection between Moses and Tzipporah felt rushed but both were faults I had in the animated film so I can't really blame this film for that. 

 

Religious or not, there's still so much to get wrapped up in. The music is wonderful, the look is gorgeous, the actors are spot-on (well-casted I might add), and the conflict of brother vs. brother is just as poignant here as it was in the original. 

 

9/10

[Ezen Baklattan]

Thanks for the stellar review!

 

Hopefully Malek and Stachel don’t split votes, which I’m lowkey worried they might.

[Rorschach]

@cookie @Xillix

 

I'm probably gonna start reviewing films month-by-month now. I'll still get my reviews for Doom and NOD out in-between Jan/Feb and Feb/March most definitely. I just wanna get a jump-start on reviews so I don't fall too far behind. 

Edited April 25, 2018 by Rorschach

[Rorschach]

January Reviews: Back at it Again with the Dumpsterfire

 

Homestar Runner's Cruddy Debut Movie

 

Accurate title is most definitely accurate. Was this real? Did I just witness that in a theater? Was there even a plot to begin with? 

 

1/10

 

Not Funny

 

Also a shockingly accurate title. Can we not make Adam Devine a thing? Please? I ask this from the depths of heart and nature of soul.

 

2/10

 

Burnout

 

A Diet-Soda version of Fast and the Furious? Maybe. For what it's worth, if you go in with the right mindset, i.e. no mindset at all, and just want to watch some cool car races/crashes, this movie will satisfy those needs.

 

6/10

 

Chessmen

 

You realize the message of the film within like the first five minutes or so. That being said, this is a fairly slightly inventive but ultimately harmless kid flick with some decent animation. Kids will enjoy it and adults most definitely not hate themselves while watching it. Most definitely a better family option than the previous one.

 

5/10

 

Conductive

 

It's your average superhero film and nothing more. A wasted effort from a great director. The emotional beats don't leave an impact whatsoever and the story is been-there-done-that. When I here people pick on the MCU films for being mechanical and boring, which I disagree to a certain extent with, this is what I imagine those people probably see.

 

4/10

 

The Exorcism of Jessica Winters

 

Another great director wasted on another sub-par film?! Why do you do this to me guys?!

 

 

3/10

 

From Earth to Infinity: An Odyssey Through Space

 

Amidst the cluster of typical January fare, this was very solid. The views of space are breathtaking, taking the imagination along with it. And Amy Adams. 

 

7/10

 

 

[Rorschach]

I’m gonna try and get as many films read today and tomorrow since I won’t be able to do much of anything in terms of reading on Friday (Infinity War).