Rorschach Reviews Y4: Now with 100% More Hot Takes

[Rorschach]

Ight bitches, a new year, a new thread. 

 

 

A few things different about my reviews this year:

 

1). I will be taking requests. You request me two films for me to review. One film made by you. One made by someone else. Simple as that.

 

2). To make my reading go faster, and also making sure my reviews don't take forever like they did last game year, I will be making my reviews 10 words or less. I want to make sure I get through everything in a decent amount of time so I'm not slogging behind everyone else. I also just wanted to try this format out because a YouTuber I really like (JelloApocalypse) uses the same format for some of his videos and I think it'd be interesting to try out. 

 

And lastly

 

3). The sick bastard who requests I review Johnny Test or Jonny Jonny will have all of their filmography roasted to shreds by me, regardless of each individual film's quality.

 

Spoiler

You think I kid but...

 

 

 

Otherwise, my rating system is staying the same (0-10) and I hope to have a fun year. If you could start requesting films now so I can potentially get some stuff read in advance, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Edited October 23, 2018 by Rorschach

[Xillix]

I request The Amityville Nightmare Part II and Dead Space.

[cookie]

Can I request Voltron now or do I have to wait until I post it?

 

My other request would be Pokémon.

Edited September 26, 2018 by cookie

[Rorschach]

4 minutes ago, cookie said:

Can I request Voltron now or do I have to want until I post it?

 

My other request would be Pokémon.

It doesn’t matter.

[YM!]

Can You Imagine and Mass Effect

[Reddroast]

One piece and Animal Crossing

[Rorschach]

So obviously, with the new deadline in place, the films recommended to me that are slated from January to June will be reviewed first. With that said, would anyone like to offer any last minute requests for films they'd like for me to review?

[Xillix]

Uh well since both of mine were in Fall...

 

Do Earthsong >.>

[Rorschach]

The stuff in bold are the movies I will review first, given that I can only review January-June films

[Ezen Baklattan]

I request A MONTH AT BELMOND LANE.

[4815162342]

Chuck Norris & Liam Neeson vs. The Loch Ness Monster

[Blankments]

Marked Up Time (if we're allowed to do our own)

Treasure Planet (if we're not)

[Rorschach]

I will be reviewing all of the January-June films in the order they were requested to me. With that said:

 

DeadSpace

 

There's quite a bit to like here. The VFX are pretty good, the human vs humanoid stuff is very entertaining, and Jeremy Renner does very good in the lead role. However, the film takes WAAAAAYYYYYY too much time shoving exposition and backstory down your throat that it almost hampers the entire experience. I wouldn't have minded so much if it wasn't all given in one sitting but it really, REALLY dragged the experience into the ground for me. Not awful but nothing particularly memorable either.

 

(seeing as this is a Muschietti film...)

4.5/10

 

 

Pokemon: Rise of the Rockets

 

It's about the same in quality as the first film with a few differences that make it somewhat better. Unlike the first film, this one manages to tell its story without relying too heavily on nostalgic beats for its appeal. I also appreciate that the film touched upon the idea of death in a very mature fashion for a kids film. In a way, the idea of a Pokemon dying parallels to the death of a pet, something I don't really think the anime touched on very much (if memory serves correct), so I found that to be a refreshing new element that added a bit more substance to it. 

 

For the most part though, the plot is very simple and straightforward enough to follow. Stephanie is a much more interesting character than Ash Ketchum was in the anime so this series definitely has that going for it. Giovanni is a pretty cliched villain that isn't very compelling in the slightest but I suppose he does his role in the film pretty well in being a force of nature for the characters to overcome.

Spoiler

I'm very interested to see what kind of role Rutger Hauer will play in the sequels (if at all).

 

Overall it's better than the first film and that's probably the best compliment a movie like this should probably get.

 

 

7/10

[Alpha]

Amulet II: The Last Council

[Rorschach]

January

 

Johnny Test

 

This gets one brownie point for making me laugh.

 

 

2/10

 

 

Haunting Hour

 

Every white collar worker's wet dream.

 

4/10

 

 

Extrasensory

 

No kid, you are Carrie. Stop lying to yourself.

 

5/10

 

 

The Mole

 

Where's the comedy? Where did it go?! Oh well

 

5/10

 

 

Baseball Boy: Swing for the Fences

 

 

3/10

 

 

When a Stranger Calls

 

Kanye should've been the killer.

 

 

1/10

 

@YourMother the Edgelord @4815162342 Expect individual reviews for Can You Imagine and Mass Effect later tonight.

 

Edited October 2, 2018 by Rorschach

[YM!]

1 hour ago, Rorschach said:

making me laugh.

I’m curious about this part.

[Rorschach]

18 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said:

I’m curious about this part.

I just laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of it.

[Blankments]

5 hours ago, Rorschach said:

I just laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of it.

wait until JJYPMMNPTLNPOYMHHH:TM

[Rorschach]

Can You Imagine

 

 

 

This was a wonderful film. Minor complaints aside, I found it to be an incredibly endearing and well-realized film. The animation style changes are extremely creative and actually manage to help enhance the story. The family are all super relatable and you root for them to solve their issues by the end of the film. The voice-cast, comprised of mostly A-list stars with roles varying from cameos to major roles, are all fantastic in this film. In general, I felt the film took advantage of the fact that it was set in. It's pretty much a combination of Alice in Wonderland and Inside Out.

 

A few things about it I didn't really care for: some of the humor is pretty hit-or-miss but the hits were generally all bullseyes for me so it really wasn't too big of a deal. I also thought the "reveal" at the end (I won't say what since I like keeping my reviews spoiler-free as possible) was pretty obvious from the start. I'm being super vague about it in case somebody reading this hasn't read it yet, but yeah, it felt very obvious to me when a certain character showed up.

 

There's no doubt in my mind this will strike a cord with a lot of children but especially adults as well. It's a mix of The Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, and Inside Out in the best ways possible. I don't know what others will think but I thought it was great for what it was.

 

8.5/10

 

(Note: @YourMother the Edgelord Not to be a stickler but please do be weary of grammar and spelling errors in the future. It usually doesn't bother me but it was kind of distracting reading this. Not too much of a problem as I could follow the story just fine. Just something to note in the future.)

[YM!]

15 hours ago, Rorschach said:

I just laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of it.

Know that makes sense. Cause I don’t get how anyone would find Johnny Test genuinely funny.