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Rorschach Reviews Y4: Now with 100% More Hot Takes

By Rorschach, in Create A Year Of Movies (CAYOM)

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Rorschach Summer Tentpole

Rorschach

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@Xillix @4815162342 I promise I will get to Earthsong and Pillars. I just have to get this one out of my system.

 

 

Jonny Jonny and the Longest Fucking Title Ever Made

(and now, a guest review from world-renowned critic Armond White)

 

Few filmmakers have ever dared to create a blockbuster that is both ambitious in its scope and thought-provoking in its themes. Last year, Redeeming Love captured the heart of the industry with its poignant and beautiful messages regarding relationships between sexual partners. Earlier this year, Michael Bay’s newest masterwork Johnny Test was one of the very few films to defy expectations and become one of the new shining examples of what a big budget Hollywood film can be. Now, James Bobin (director of the highly exquisite and accomplished Alice Through the Looking Glass) has dared to top the genius himself with perhaps the most ambitious crossover ever put to screen, putting the cocksucking Marvel fanboys in their place and revealing them for the needy, whiny brats they are.

 

What Bobin and company have created here is something that defies the English language as we know it. One cannot simply review this movie through the lens of just pure entertainment - for if one were to do that, it would greatly hamper their ability to read into the complex and intuitive messages this film is providing us - they should rather view it on par with complex political dramas like the Atlas Shrugged trilogy, the Transformers films, and The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. All of these films I’ve mentioned dared to speak up on the political issues plaguing our society today. Bobin’s commentary on the corruption and subliminal messaging placed in children’s advertising today vastly outclasses the ham-fisted messages presented in the Best Picture winner And The Band Played On, the grossly miscalculated and offensive Notes from the Otherspace, the childishly braindead Voltron franchise, the pretentious and boring Flowers for Algernon, the pathetically bloated soap opera quality Odyssey trilogy, and the exceedingly overrated Spark franchise. None of these hold a candle to the brilliance presented in this project.

 

Among all the wannabe franchises trying to top one another for the box office crown, Jonny Jonny refrains from stooping to their level and separates itself from its musical contemporaries of the past. It dares to defy the tropes of both animated films and musicals alike.Of course, I have no doubt that Jonny Jonny will be, sadly, long forgotten in the sea of trashy and trendy kids films such as Can You Imagine or Amulet: The Last Council and sure as hell will not be mentioned by casual moviegoers that prefer crappy and overproduced musicals such as the grossly overrated Freddy Zapper (good to see James Bobin has risen above his previous mistakes) and the overhyped La La Land (the look on the producer’s faces when they found out Moonlight won instead of them continues to give me a daily hard-on just thinking about. Oh how I relish popular garbage being put in its place).

 

The complex characters and themes of corruption in the entertainment industry are daring to say the least. Mahershala Ali’s performance as the titular Jonny surpasses that of Kanye West in the excellently crafted remake of When a Stranger Calls and even Jonah Hill’s turn as the deliciously thicc and sexy villain Bling Bling Boy in Y4’s defining action film Johnny Test. While both performances are excellent, neither of them can lick the table scraps of the ensemble cast in this film. There are too many great performances and tragically complex characters to count, a testament that not even the garbage ensemble piece And The Band Played On could accomplish.

 

Other reviewers will probably call this movie “mindless trash” while they praise garbage like The Odyssey: Homecoming (I guess Matt Reeves finally realized no one is going to see his trash movie after getting an R rating slapped on its overlong, braindead ass) or Can You Imagine (a pathetic attempt at remaking the overrated Notes from the Otherspace). Those sheep can continue eating their slop as I, and the select smart few who are able to recognize a brilliant work of art when they see it, will continue to praise and admire its ambition.


Every single one of Stanley Kubrick’s films were dismissed when they were first released. Go back and read any contemporary review of his films and you will see that the the brainless sheep, uh, I mean the critics didn’t understand or comprehend what Kubrick was trying to do. As time passed, however, the few smart individuals, such as myself, were able to point out how brilliant those films were and the mindless sheep changed their tunes, recognizing their own stupidity and revealing that they can’t think for themselves. Likewise, I see the same happening with Jonny Jonny. Hopefully one day, the mindless zombies in the general population and the bandwagoning sheep that are sad, poor excuses for film critics finally realize the importance and long-lasting brilliance of this musical masterpiece.

 

Spoiler

5/10 :P

 

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YM! Global Phenomenon

YM!

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Rorschach said:

@Xillix @4815162342 I promise I will get to Earthsong and Pillars. I just have to get this one out of my system.

 

 

Jonny Jonny and the Longest Fucking Title Ever Made

(and now, a guest review from world-renowned critic Armond White)

 

Few filmmakers have ever dared to create a blockbuster that is both ambitious in its scope and thought-provoking in its themes. Last year, Redeeming Love captured the heart of the industry with its poignant and beautiful messages regarding relationships between sexual partners. Earlier this year, Michael Bay’s newest masterwork Johnny Test was one of the very few films to defy expectations and become one of the new shining examples of what a big budget Hollywood film can be. Now, James Bobin (director of the highly exquisite and accomplished Alice Through the Looking Glass) has dared to top the genius himself with perhaps the most ambitious crossover ever put to screen, putting the cocksucking Marvel fanboys in their place and revealing them for the needy, whiny brats they are.

 

What Bobin and company have created here is something that defies the English language as we know it. One cannot simply review this movie through the lens of just pure entertainment - for if one were to do that, it would greatly hamper their ability to read into the complex and intuitive messages this film is providing us - they should rather view it on par with complex political dramas like the Atlas Shrugged trilogy, the Transformers films, and The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. All of these films I’ve mentioned dared to speak up on the political issues plaguing our society today. Bobin’s commentary on the corruption and subliminal messaging placed in children’s advertising today vastly outclasses the ham-fisted messages presented in the Best Picture winner And The Band Played On, the grossly miscalculated and offensive Notes from the Otherspace, the childishly braindead Voltron franchise, the pretentious and boring Flowers for Algernon, the pathetically bloated soap opera quality Odyssey trilogy, and the exceedingly overrated Spark franchise. None of these hold a candle to the brilliance presented in this project.

 

Among all the wannabe franchises trying to top one another for the box office crown, Jonny Jonny refrains from stooping to their level and separates itself from its musical contemporaries of the past. It dares to defy the tropes of both animated films and musicals alike.Of course, I have no doubt that Jonny Jonny will be, sadly, long forgotten in the sea of trashy and trendy kids films such as Can You Imagine or Amulet: The Last Council and sure as hell will not be mentioned by casual moviegoers that prefer crappy and overproduced musicals such as the grossly overrated Freddy Zapper (good to see James Bobin has risen above his previous mistakes) and the overhyped La La Land (the look on the producer’s faces when they found out Moonlight won instead of them continues to give me a daily hard-on just thinking about. Oh how I relish popular garbage being put in its place).

 

The complex characters and themes of corruption in the entertainment industry are daring to say the least. Mahershala Ali’s performance as the titular Jonny surpasses that of Kanye West in the excellently crafted remake of When a Stranger Calls and even Jonah Hill’s turn as the deliciously thicc and sexy villain Bling Bling Boy in Y4’s defining action film Johnny Test. While both performances are excellent, neither of them can lick the table scraps of the ensemble cast in this film. There are too many great performances and tragically complex characters to count, a testament that not even the garbage ensemble piece And The Band Played On could accomplish.

 

Other reviewers will probably call this movie “mindless trash” while they praise garbage like The Odyssey: Homecoming (I guess Matt Reeves finally realized no one is going to see his trash movie after getting an R rating slapped on its overlong, braindead ass) or Can You Imagine (a pathetic attempt at remaking the overrated Notes from the Otherspace). Those sheep can continue eating their slop as I, and the select smart few who are able to recognize a brilliant work of art when they see it, will continue to praise and admire its ambition.


Every single one of Stanley Kubrick’s films were dismissed when they were first released. Go back and read any contemporary review of his films and you will see that the the brainless sheep, uh, I mean the critics didn’t understand or comprehend what Kubrick was trying to do. As time passed, however, the few smart individuals, such as myself, were able to point out how brilliant those films were and the mindless sheep changed their tunes, recognizing their own stupidity and revealing that they can’t think for themselves. Likewise, I see the same happening with Jonny Jonny. Hopefully one day, the mindless zombies in the general population and the bandwagoning sheep that are sad, poor excuses for film critics finally realize the importance and long-lasting brilliance of this musical masterpiece.

 

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5/10 :P

 

Damn it I was going to use that video today for my review but decided against it.

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YM! Global Phenomenon

YM!

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17 minutes ago, Rorschach said:

Of course, I have no doubt that Jonny Jonny will be, sadly, long forgotten in the sea of trashy and trendy kids films such as Can You Imagine or Amulet: The Last Council

Jonny Jonny is rated PG-13

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Reddroast Box Office Gold

Reddroast

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Rorschach said:

@Xillix @4815162342 I promise I will get to Earthsong and Pillars. I just have to get this one out of my system.

 

 

Jonny Jonny and the Longest Fucking Title Ever Made

(and now, a guest review from world-renowned critic Armond White)

 

Few filmmakers have ever dared to create a blockbuster that is both ambitious in its scope and thought-provoking in its themes. Last year, Redeeming Love captured the heart of the industry with its poignant and beautiful messages regarding relationships between sexual partners. Earlier this year, Michael Bay’s newest masterwork Johnny Test was one of the very few films to defy expectations and become one of the new shining examples of what a big budget Hollywood film can be. Now, James Bobin (director of the highly exquisite and accomplished Alice Through the Looking Glass) has dared to top the genius himself with perhaps the most ambitious crossover ever put to screen, putting the cocksucking Marvel fanboys in their place and revealing them for the needy, whiny brats they are.

 

What Bobin and company have created here is something that defies the English language as we know it. One cannot simply review this movie through the lens of just pure entertainment - for if one were to do that, it would greatly hamper their ability to read into the complex and intuitive messages this film is providing us - they should rather view it on par with complex political dramas like the Atlas Shrugged trilogy, the Transformers films, and The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. All of these films I’ve mentioned dared to speak up on the political issues plaguing our society today. Bobin’s commentary on the corruption and subliminal messaging placed in children’s advertising today vastly outclasses the ham-fisted messages presented in the Best Picture winner And The Band Played On, the grossly miscalculated and offensive Notes from the Otherspace, the childishly braindead Voltron franchise, the pretentious and boring Flowers for Algernon, the pathetically bloated soap opera quality Odyssey trilogy, and the exceedingly overrated Spark franchise. None of these hold a candle to the brilliance presented in this project.

 

Among all the wannabe franchises trying to top one another for the box office crown, Jonny Jonny refrains from stooping to their level and separates itself from its musical contemporaries of the past. It dares to defy the tropes of both animated films and musicals alike.Of course, I have no doubt that Jonny Jonny will be, sadly, long forgotten in the sea of trashy and trendy kids films such as Can You Imagine or Amulet: The Last Council and sure as hell will not be mentioned by casual moviegoers that prefer crappy and overproduced musicals such as the grossly overrated Freddy Zapper (good to see James Bobin has risen above his previous mistakes) and the overhyped La La Land (the look on the producer’s faces when they found out Moonlight won instead of them continues to give me a daily hard-on just thinking about. Oh how I relish popular garbage being put in its place).

 

The complex characters and themes of corruption in the entertainment industry are daring to say the least. Mahershala Ali’s performance as the titular Jonny surpasses that of Kanye West in the excellently crafted remake of When a Stranger Calls and even Jonah Hill’s turn as the deliciously thicc and sexy villain Bling Bling Boy in Y4’s defining action film Johnny Test. While both performances are excellent, neither of them can lick the table scraps of the ensemble cast in this film. There are too many great performances and tragically complex characters to count, a testament that not even the garbage ensemble piece And The Band Played On could accomplish.

 

Other reviewers will probably call this movie “mindless trash” while they praise garbage like The Odyssey: Homecoming (I guess Matt Reeves finally realized no one is going to see his trash movie after getting an R rating slapped on its overlong, braindead ass) or Can You Imagine (a pathetic attempt at remaking the overrated Notes from the Otherspace). Those sheep can continue eating their slop as I, and the select smart few who are able to recognize a brilliant work of art when they see it, will continue to praise and admire its ambition.


Every single one of Stanley Kubrick’s films were dismissed when they were first released. Go back and read any contemporary review of his films and you will see that the the brainless sheep, uh, I mean the critics didn’t understand or comprehend what Kubrick was trying to do. As time passed, however, the few smart individuals, such as myself, were able to point out how brilliant those films were and the mindless sheep changed their tunes, recognizing their own stupidity and revealing that they can’t think for themselves. Likewise, I see the same happening with Jonny Jonny. Hopefully one day, the mindless zombies in the general population and the bandwagoning sheep that are sad, poor excuses for film critics finally realize the importance and long-lasting brilliance of this musical masterpiece.

 

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5/10 :P

 

Really? not cole smithey

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Rorschach Summer Tentpole

Rorschach

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10 minutes ago, Reddroast said:

Really? not cole smithey

Armond White makes me laugh more.

 

Also, I had no idea that Cole Smithey was related to the great Christian Weston Chandler so I found that to be interesting.

Edited by Rorschach
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Rorschach Summer Tentpole

Rorschach

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Earthsong Volume 1: Haven's Guard

 

9LMo.gif

 

Firstly, I'm usually a sucker for good fantasy films. Hell, the Lord of the Rings trilogy as a whole is probably my favorite movie of all time. Needless to say, I love reading fantasy stories and love to lean/explore new worlds. Secondly, this film feels like a live-action mix of Adventure Time meets Studio Ghibli. Its a very beautiful film all around and Julie Taymor does an excellent job behind the camera. The characters are all fairly likable, though they aren't all given a whole lot of time to shine (I'll discuss that part in a moment). In general, this has the makings of a fairly interesting franchise.

 

However, one of the biggest cruxes this movie has is that, despite its over two and a half hour runtime, it feels like barely anything was accomplished. It honestly felt like I had just watched the first two thirds of a film before it just suddenly cuts out. When that happened, I honestly felt very frustrated. It felt like the third act of the film got snipped off by accident or something. I understand that there are plans for two more films after this and I should probably reserve judgment until after the trilogy is complete but I can't help but feel cheated by the ending of this film. The cliffhanger ending honestly reminded me of the second Hobbit movie where they practically did the same thing. The movie was very good up until that point and then it just ends. It just left me confused/disappointed in all honesty. 

 

I'll probably feel differently after a potential revisit and then reading the next two films after but as is, the anti-climax kinda soured my experience to what was a pretty damn good film up until then.

 

6.5/10 (it's probably closer to a 7 and even an 8 but that ending kinda has me wavering it down towards a 6 the more I think about it)

 

 

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4815162342 Global Phenomenon

4815162342

Posted
Posted
Just now, Rorschach said:

Sarana is starting to become my new ficitional crush in CAYOM. Might just be my infatuation with Ana de Armas but whatever.

 

 

Wanted to display Sarana as someone with an innate charisma but a reserved, internalized personality (as well as not being a standard white English fantasy protagonist) and felt de Armas fit that very well.

 

Didn't hurt that I did my casting for PoE a few days after I saw Blade Runner 2049.

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Rorschach Summer Tentpole

Rorschach

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2 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

 

Wanted to display Sarana as someone with an innate charisma but a reserved, internalized personality (as well as not being a standard white English fantasy protagonist) and felt de Armas fit that very well.

 

Didn't hurt that I did my casting for PoE a few days after I saw Blade Runner 2049.

Good call. 👍

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