Blanked Out Reviews, Y4 3.0 (A Retrospective As Well)

[Blankments]

hoping I'll be able to do top 25 by sunday; i'm through Extreme Dinosaurs II, but I've got about 8 very long movies left and a lot of shorter-to-medium length ones to go through...

 

let me just say though, there are a few films I'm surprised I liked as much as I did (although there's only one in July-September that got a 4/5 or higher) and a decent chunk that I liked a lot less than the consensus

 

also a lot of you need to realize what types of film deserve synopses longer than 2K; there are a lot of films here that subject/contents do not justify the detail provided to them and are films that if written with better pacing would likely be a star or more improved. This is probably my main complaint so far with the films I don't like, and there's a sequel that I absolutely hated despite liking the original merely due it to it being way too overwritten.

 

(I'm aware I'm pot-calling-kettle black with the intense detail that Marked Up Time has, but I feel as though that's the only film I've done this year with that problem and if you want to call me out on more, please go ahead because I really don't want to have this problem myself.)

 

Anyway, I hope to have the prequel reviews up by Saturday at the latest with a top 25 starting on Sunday. Hopefully

Edited November 13, 2018 by Blankments

[YM!]

2 hours ago, Blankments said:

and there's a sequel that I absolutely hated despite liking the original merely due it to it being way too overwritten.

Crash Bandicoot? 

[Alpha]

8 hours ago, Blankments said:

and there's a sequel that I absolutely hated despite liking the original merely due it to it being way too overwritten.

Hey, Amulet II

[Blankments]

Before I post the prequel reviews, let me update a few grades:

 

EarthSong is upped to a 3.5/5

Stories from Eden and Dead Space are downgrade to 2.5/5

 

Prequel Reviews

 

God of War – thin plot plus cool action equals an okay time. 2.5/5

 

Amulet – This is definitely one of those things where I can tell there’s a ton of craft and it’s well written but it’s hard for me to get into since it’s not a genre I like. The lore is cool but again, it’s hard for me to follow at points because how hard it is for me into engage. Still, it’s a solid adventure film in spite of my own bias against it. 3.5/5

 

Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills – a fun self-aware take on a Power Rangers-like franchise. The ending felt very lackluster though despite its clever nature. Abrupt might be the problem. 3.5/5

 

Ta2ed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills – okay, I might not have liked the first movie’s ending but to completely ignore it is a massive waste of potential that annoyed me the entire time reading this one. The addition of Statham’s character is inspired but I still don’t wholly understand the point of this franchise without a clear continuity. 2/5

 

Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad – just felt derivative and without the wit of the other two films. I also don’t get why I had to read this honestly, but I found it very mediocre. 1.5/5

 

Crash Bandicoot – Sure, why not? It’s a forgettable kids movie without anything really special about it but it’s silly enough that I can’t be offended by it. 3/5

 

Extreme Dinosaurs – Xillix, buddy… This was a struggle to get through, and it’s hard to find anyone enjoying any level of this. 1/5

  

The Amityville Nightmare – okay let me go in more in what I started with RETRACTED FILM BECAUSE IT’S A Y4 RELEASE. This film is loaded with what I would call unnecessary detail. There’s a shitton of telling instead of showing and backstory we don’t need for the characters, along with detailed horror setpieces that just feel repetitive. This is a horror film that, from what I can tell, is intended to be merely horror, not an OC or anything. None of this has any bearing on the grade, I don’t think it would be fair to judge it on this, but my god, this read was such a slog when it didn’t really need to be at all. As for the film itself, it’s fine. It traffics in clichés but it’s got some cool moments. It’s got a solid cast, but like... I really can’t get too excited about this film simply due to how over-written it is and how it still just feels like a typical solid horror film. 3/5

  

Samurai Pizza Cats – a decent time, but I got tired of the fourth wall breaks quickly. Still this is a pretty decent animated comedy. 3/5

 

Silent Hill: Innocence Lost – this feels like a bunch of video game setpieces edited together. I understand this is based off one, but there’s nothing to really connect us to Harry as a person, other than he’s looking for his daughter, which, since we don’t get to know her well before she’s gone, feels like an empty motive for the audience. Then we go through repetitive scares and action scenes and it’s just so hard to care about Harry because again, he’s a blank slate video game character meant for the player to insert themselves into. That’s fine in a video game but in a movie, we need to have a reason to care other than trying to win the game. Anyway, there’s some good gross stuff here and there’s a lot of good actors playing these roles, but again, without a strong lead character to grab onto, it just felt like things happening so that way they could happen. Meh. 2/5

 

Spark: Rising – full disclosure, I pre-read this way back in the day, but I’m still revisiting it for a fresh memory before Sparks 2 and 3. This is the epitome of how to make a damn great blockbuster in CAYOM. The characters are memorable and have arcs, the action sequences are cool but don’t overload the plot, and the plot hits its beats well without being overly convoluted. It’s a little generic at points, but most first movies are. This is a rollicking fun time and one of the CAYOM greats. 4.5/5

 

Spark: Homeward – hmmm. A notable stepdown from the first movie, I feel like this is lessened by it’s entry into more of a grey area. The subplot with Kozar feels half-assed and honestly, Venchell isn’t a memorable villain at all. I appreciate the ambition but it’s a bit of a let-down. Also, I’m sorry, but I’m calling aborted arc on everything with Everett; the post-credits scene of the first one makes no sense with how his character is treated in this one, and honestly, what was my anticipated part of this never even happened. The action is still stellar and the character relationships are cool, but basically, Alex feels like a backseat driver in her own movie here and this was just a crushing disappointment. If it weren’t for Frieda Pinto’s character, I’d honestly say this felt like a filler movie in character development. Sorry Pastaman, but this was just exceedingly average to me. 3/5

 

Top 25 comes tomorrow.

[YM!]

4 minutes ago, Blankments said:

Spark: Homeward – hmmm. A notable stepdown from the first movie, I feel like this is lessened by it’s entry into more of a grey area. The subplot with Kozar feels half-assed and honestly, Venchell isn’t a memorable villain at all. I appreciate the ambition but it’s a bit of a let-down. Also, I’m sorry, but I’m calling aborted arc on everything with Everett; the post-credits scene of the first one makes no sense with how his character is treated in this one, and honestly, what was my anticipated part of this never even happened. The action is still stellar and the character relationships are cool, but basically, Alex feels like a backseat driver in her own movie here and this was just a crushing disappointment. If it weren’t for Frieda Pinto’s character, I’d honestly say this felt like a filler movie in character development. Sorry Pastaman, but this was just exceedingly average to me. 3/5

The original draft was worse.

[4815162342]

5 minutes ago, Blankments said:

Spark: Homeward – hmmm. A notable stepdown from the first movie, I feel like this is lessened by it’s entry into more of a grey area. The subplot with Kozar feels half-assed and honestly, Venchell isn’t a memorable villain at all. I appreciate the ambition but it’s a bit of a let-down. Also, I’m sorry, but I’m calling aborted arc on everything with Everett; the post-credits scene of the first one makes no sense with how his character is treated in this one, and honestly, what was my anticipated part of this never even happened. The action is still stellar and the character relationships are cool, but basically, Alex feels like a backseat driver in her own movie here and this was just a crushing disappointment. If it weren’t for Frieda Pinto’s character, I’d honestly say this felt like a filler movie in character development. Sorry Pastaman, but this was just exceedingly average to me. 3/5

 

 

Just now, YourMother the Edgelord said:

The original draft was worse.

 

The original draft was better 

[Ezen Baklattan]

I don’t blame you about Homeward TBH. However, I will admit that I’m going to do some stuff in IV that....maybe hints that Everett’s story isn’t over yet.

[Blankments]

i don't know what happened in the original draft, but i can 90% guarantee you I'd like HOMEWARD more if Everett wasn't a random Life-Model-Decoy

[4815162342]

1 minute ago, Spagspiria said:

I don’t blame you about Homeward TBH. However, I will admit that I’m going to do some stuff in IV that....maybe hints that Everett’s story isn’t over yet.

 

Still holding out a tiny tiny tiny bit of hope that my joke suggestion in my own review thread comes true 

[YM!]

3 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

 

 

The original draft was better 

Don’t let your Jakey G bias consume you.

[4815162342]

Just now, YourMother the Edgelord said:

Don’t let your Jakey G bias consume you.

 

Venchell was also a more interesting antagonist in general rather than someone the film kinda wanted to actually be the protagonist and got wishy washy about

[Blankments]

decided to look at a contemporary reaction of the only person I know who read Spark 2.1:

 

On 4/24/2018 at 9:21 PM, 4815162342 said:

@Isle of Pasta you already had a lot of feedback from me in pre-read land, so this will be short and focus on the changes:

 

• No more Alex-bot is probably for the best
• I get the removal of the power removal bit, but the choice Alex had between saving Teen Wolf and restoring her powers had some meat to it, and the reveal of Teen Wolf having powers and his reaction was fun

 

 

both of these vague hints sound like memorable bits that, IMO, the final film is seriously lacking in. then again, I may still be blinded by my anger of Sam Rockbot was a thing

[Ezen Baklattan]

7 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

 

Still holding out a tiny tiny tiny bit of hope that my joke suggestion in my own review thread comes true 

...which one are we talking? Lol

[4815162342]

Just now, Spagspiria said:

...which one are we talking? Lol

 

The Infinity War joke reference I made as a wish that I know won't happen but would be hilarious nonetheless.

[Xillix]

12 minutes ago, Blankments said:

The Amityville Nightmare This is a horror film that, from what I can tell, is intended to be merely horror, not an OC or anything.

The Amityville Nightmare was in fact nominated for an Oscar - best actress for Anne Heche. Pushed Connelly for supporting actress too but no bites.

 

As to Silent Hill - fair. Extreme Dinosaurs... it's a meh blockbuster, don't personally think it's terrible (and evidently plenty of people enjoyed some of it) but opinions sure are wild. TTAFfBH and co. - again, fair. Comedy is maybe the single most subjective thing out there, further evidenced by the fact I still think the running joke about the "Greek" restaurant was the only effectively funny thing in By the Balls.

[4815162342]

6 minutes ago, Blankments said:

decided to look at a contemporary reaction of the only person I know who read Spark 2.1:

 

 

 

both of these vague hints sound like memorable bits that, IMO, the final film is seriously lacking in. then again, I may still be blinded by my anger of Sam Rockbot was a thing

 

The original draft ends with Alex depowered and Kozar being saved by being injected with a serum that grants powers (Alex chooses to save him over restoring her powers). There's a fun/cute bit at the very end when his power spontaneously manifests and he's like a kid in a candy store.

 

I thought it'd possibly create a good thematic hook of how does a superhero live and do her job no longer with superpowers.

Edited November 18, 2018 by 4815162342

[Ezen Baklattan]

3 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

 

The Infinity War joke reference I made as a wish that I know won't happen but would be hilarious nonetheless.

Ahhh I remeber.

[4815162342]

2 minutes ago, Spagspiria said:

Ahhh I remeber.

 

I know it won't happen but I'd love it if it did.

[YM!]

@Blankments will grades for the rest of the films be up after the top 25?

[Ezen Baklattan]

1 minute ago, 4815162342 said:

 

I know it won't happen but I'd love it if it did.

I will say I do have something planned for Tarek....and who will try to take him down.