Morieris @ The Movies (2018 Edition) | We're Done (or Are We?)

[Morieris]

This is the right place right? Yeah.

 

 

A lot of people were jazzed about 2017, but I found it pretty good at best and ??? at worst.

 

My top ten list had both Valerian and Geostorm so maybe my opinion is...plebian.

 

2018, however, was a bunch of fun for me. If I remember correctly, I've seen about 26 27 28 2018 films, and I'm here to talk about them.

 

As opposed to posting this on my blog where I can get 5 views a week, I can post it here, and hopefully get six.

 

Guidelines;

I'm going month by month of when I saw these movies. Otherwise there would be about 6 entries in March alone.

This will probably keep going as other movies from 2018 get wider releases in 2019 for awards season. Mainly, Beale Street, Free Solo (is getting an IMAX release for a week in Jan) and Destroyer. 

A movie per post.

 

 

Except this one, where I talk about the very...unremarkable -

 

1. Proud Mary

#5 in the year, first 2018 release

 

 

This will not be the first movie where the theme of reviews is 'Just because your lead is marginalized doesn't mean your movie isn't bland.' Sony's advertising campaign for this was very poor, citing "Foreigners don't like black people". As a black person, I don't feel like having that conversation, and a more likely explanation stateside was - "How do you advertise something that has no standout qualities?"

At least it wasn't horrifically sanitized like Hidden Figures.

Straight from my notes; Whatever the cinematographer was doing that the director signed off of, when trying to convey a sense of passing time, it was done so poorly I had no idea what was happening.

The clearest thing I remember is two shots of a brownstone building where the time of day changed and the shots of the armory.

The idea of a black mob family is far more intriguing than just having Mary protect this child. 

 

At least I got a really cool collectible ticket.

 

RANKING: 24 out of 28. This is the best of the worst, and it's not so much 'bad' as 'bland'. 

Edited January 8, 2019 by Morieris

[Morieris]

 

2. The Cloverfield Paradox

10th in the year.

 

 

The Cloverfield Paradox was a very obvious, half-hearted, and messy attempt at slapping the Cloverfield name on something to salvage some viewers, hence it's last-minute-but-kind-of-early release on Netflix after the Super Bowl.

 

 It did not work. It sure didn't help improve Netflix's name of loving shit films. And I'm someone who thought 10 CL was suitable! Didn't bother me none!

 

They used the idea of a Paradox to make random shit happen and none of it was entertaining, thought provoking, and for some reason, no one mentions solar power in a movie where the main plot kicked off because of an energy crisis. I'm happy to say that the next films of Gugu and Elizabeth would be slightly and way better than this.

 

RANKING: 28 / 28

This is actually a bit of a last-minute change, I had #25 as the worst I've seen this year but I continually forgot about this movie - For good reason.

What could it be?

 

But no worries, we finally take a break with an actual great movie next time.

Edited December 31, 2018 by Morieris

[Morieris]

Spoiler

^{Thanks autosave post...not that I had something up here or anything.}

 

3. Black Panther

Because, duh.

Not the first black superhero movie but probably the best (Haven't seen Blade or that one with Robert Townsend in the 90s or Steel), Marvel's carefully curated plan finally introduced a non-white superhero in its 16th movie to great applause and fanfare, making it arguably the biggest movie of the year. It's still made around 23$m more than Infinity War.

 

Let's talk about Justice League - Not disparagingly, I never did see it - but the idea that introducing characters before their solo movies was balked at.

But isn't that essentially what was done here? T'Challa showed up in Civil War when he thought Bucky orchestrated the terrorist attack that killed his father T'Chaka( I think I ... have not actually seen Civil War in full). It worked fine here, but he was surrounded by a lot of people who were already fairly established - The only other character in his predicament was Spiderman. 

But we also knew, 100%, that a Black Panther movie was coming. So we allowed ourselves to get excited and invested in him.

 

The movie itself touched upon things often ignored, not only in the movies, but IRL. The diaspora, why Africans seem to have ignored African Americans (Though IDK what we expected them as a whole to do), why Wakanda stood around and watched MLK get clapped. 

It's mostly surface level, but that's still deeper than what most MCU audiences would be exposed to anywhere else.

 

Is it still an origin story? Absolutely - but who knew you could change so much by changing the race of 99% of the cast and handing the idea to a director who could work with it.

 

RANKING: 2/28

 

Edited December 31, 2018 by Morieris

[Morieris]

4. Annihilation 

The biggest shame about this movie isn't that theater distributors didn't give it a chance in America because "the public probably would hate it", it's that they were probably right.  And while I'd love to say "But give people the chance to like it! Play it in theaters!", that's not AMC's job to make artists feel good about their work. It's to recoup a profit. Internationally, this was released onto Netflix, and I have no idea if it is in the states. It would be the rare great movie the company picked up second hand if so!

 

 

I liked the cinematic duo of Oscar Isaac and Alex Garland’s previous film Ex Machina well enough - I’ve never been inclined to revisit it, really - but this was a completely new feeling.

I imagine watching this movie gives one the same feeling as watching Black Mirror - deeply unsettled because it hit too close to home about what could be - or maybe even what is.

This entire thing is a giant allegory (arguably, allegory is too subtle) for trauma and depression, set in a colorful, deadly, unknown world that is created by something that also makes trap music in a cave basement.

 

The supporting cast is fine at best and forgettable - very - at worst, but it's Natalie Portman and Jennifer Jason Leigh's movie, and we just have to live in it.

 

And check out that mutated cave bear!

 

I couldn't sleep for awhile after watching this. Not because of the aforementioned cool ass bear, but because of the melancholy.

 

RANKING: 5/28

Coming up: The worst double feature I've ever done.

Edited December 31, 2018 by Morieris

[Morieris]

5. A Wrinkle in Time

 

 

I don’t know what happened.

Why was the CGI so ugly for some large setpieces? 

Why did that kickass remix of Sweet Dreams never get an official release? 

Was the brother always an evil doppelganger? How did he change during the course of the movie? Why? Does that happen in the book that I've never read? 

I will applaud Ava Duvernay for clearly, clearly making this the story about a young black girl who her local society finds tiresome and weird - because her father is missing! Damn, what happened to compassion?- and openly and continuously has Oprah herself tell her how important she is.

 

That doesn’t make this film any easier or clearer to understand. At some point, you may have to deviate away from the book to make something coherent, as we'll see in a few entries' time.

Good thing Disney is not adapting another well-loved sci-fi children's novel that has struggled to make it to the big screen in 2019, huh?

_{That's sarcasm.}

 

RANKING:

26/28

 

And it still wasn't as disappointing as this next entry.

Edited December 31, 2018 by Morieris

[Eric Atreides]

A few posts away, but love the Black Panther analysis. Hate that people are going all "oh it's just another Marvel movie" when it manages to tackle themes and ideas that are seldom explored in cinema, especially family action blockbusters. It's probably one of the riskier blockbusters this year, and maybe even last year.

[Morieris]

55 minutes ago, CoolEric258 said:

Hate that people are going all "oh it's just another Marvel movie" when it manages to tackle themes and ideas that are seldom explored in cinema, especially family action blockbusters.

 

Right...I'd say "People want Marvel to branch out and be more serious, but when they do no one actually sees the nuance," but those probably aren't the same people who ask for said nuance. It's an origin story, sure, but it uses the familiar beats to explore other concepts and not totally alienate people who wouldn't understand.

[Morieris]

6. The Hurricane Heist

*deep sigh*

 

*SIGHS HARDER*

You get what you pay for with a disaster-action movie that cost 35m$ to make.

Every time I’ve brought up this movie to someone online, they’ve searched it.

Looked at the trailer.

And then came back to ask me;

“Why the hell did you see this?” 

 

 

Because I love this man and his movie choices. And, my goodness, there are just so many…choices. EVERYWHERE. ALL THE TIME!

 

 

Quote

 

“In place of a charismatic action hero, we have Toby Kebbell, best known as Dr. Doom In Name Only and Koba the Evil Ape, affecting a Hee-Haw accent as meteorologist Will, who's mad at hurricanes and wants to learn how to destroy them all because a hurricane murdered his father.” 

 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/lukethompson/2018/03/09/review-the-hurricane-heist-is-the-missing-link-between-twister-and-sharknado/#290924014807

 

When Han posted this trailer in the Ranger Solo thread I legit thought it was a mockbuster until I saw him show up, and then I bitterly resigned myself to my Stan Life Choices.

And the moment the skull-cloud popped up two minutes into the film, I asked myself “What have I done?” 

I don’t think this was filmed in America (If it was, it would take place a mere 6 hours or so away from where I live), and so nobody knew how terrible and inauthentic his accent was. 

If you thought, like myself, he sounded a little odd in Skull Island, you ain’t seen - heard - nothing yet. 

 

Quote

“The notion that hurricanes might be sentient demons is so absurd that you wish the movie would lean into it more; alas, we only get to see the skull one more time, and it's never explained.”

https://www.forbes.com/sites/lukethompson/2018/03/09/review-the-hurricane-heist-is-the-missing-link-between-twister-and-sharknado/#290924014807

 

That would have been amazing, just the right amount of batshit to make this "So stupid it works." This would have been a better movie on the Syfy channel. Giant cloud has a vendetta against one man for reasons unknown. 

 

The sheer absurdity of being unable to see or hear most of what was going on was amazing;

 

Quote

“Making matters worse is that screenwriters Scott Windhauser and Jeff Dixon were apparently so proud of the concept that they never quite got around to realizing that having an entire film take place during a hurricane would wreak havoc with the visual storytelling.”

https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-hurricane-heist-2018

 

But it was not all bad, despite having the government be the good guys. Some of it was funny. Like the idea of a random bank robber showing up in an evening dress. One person in the town having every single job ever in the town. Skull clouds. I will give the final action sequence credit - It's good. It's clearly visible. It's near the end of the movie. It's appropriately tense ("tense").

 

Again, I loved Geostorm! It was the right mix of absurd and real, and I could clearly see what was happening. This was just a messy, nearly visually indistinguishable letdown.

 

It's too stupid and not stupid enough to be worth it.

RANKING: 27/28

 

Edited December 31, 2018 by Morieris

[Eric Atreides]

On 12/27/2018 at 11:39 AM, Morieris said:

This is the right place right? Yeah.

 

 

A lot of people were jazzed about 2017, but I found it pretty good at best and ??? at worst.

 

My top ten list had both Valerian and Geostorm so maybe my opinion is...plebian.

 

2018, however, was a bunch of fun for me. If I remember correctly, I've seen about 26 27 2018 films, and I'm here to talk about them.

 

As opposed to posting this on my blog where I can get 5 views a week, I can post it here, and hopefully get six.

 

Guidelines;

I'm going month by month of when I saw these movies. Otherwise there would be about 6 entries in March alone.

This will probably keep going as other movies from 2018 get wider releases in 2019 for awards season. Mainly, Beale Street, Free Solo (is getting an IMAX release for a week in Jan) and Destroyer. 

A movie per post.

 

 

Except this one, where I talk about the very...unremarkable -

 

1. Proud Mary

#5 in the year, first 2018 release

 

 

This will not be the first movie where the theme of reviews is 'Just because your lead is marginalized doesn't mean your movie isn't bland.' Sony's advertising campaign for this was very poor, citing "Foreigners don't like black people". As a black person, I don't feel like having that conversation, and a more likely explanation stateside was - "How do you advertise something that has no standout qualities?"

At least it wasn't horrifically sanitized like Hidden Figures.

Straight from my notes; Whatever the cinematographer was doing that the director signed off of, when trying to convey a sense of passing time, it was done so poorly I had no idea what was happening.

The clearest thing I remember is two shots of a brownstone building where the time of day changed and the shots of the armory.

The idea of a black mob family is far more intriguing than just having Mary protect this child. 

 

At least I got a really cool collectible ticket.

 

RANKING: 24 out of 27. This is the best of the worst, and it's not so much 'bad' as 'bland'. 

 

 

🤔

[SLAM!]

The Hurricane Heist is the worst film I've seen in a very long time. I avoid bad films for a reason...

[Morieris]

7. Pacific Rim: Uprising

 

I think the original Pacific Rim is…okay.

Then again, I don’t think Del Toro is the auteur like others. He’s a good ideas man, and if you’re lucky, his ideas will come through on the screen and have some support from the writing and acting. If a movie of his is on, I'll watch it for a bit (Unless it's Crimson Peak, I have tried so many times).

 

The only reason I wanted to see this one was for John Boyega. I liked his spirit and charm as Jake against the Eastwood,  I liked Cailee, I liked the further establishing of the world, the fights, especially the ending battle, that was especially cool. This was the first movie of his after Last Jedi that I’ve seen. Also, I haven’t seen Detroit (which I expect is better) or The Circle (Which I suspect…isn’t) yet.

What I did NOT like was killing Mako. Why??? If you can’t think of a better way to evoke emotion in your main character than fridging a woman in a sci-fi movie…. Sci-Fi has many opportunities and possibilities! Get creative.

 

Newt turned evil because of his obsession with the kaiju; Even if that had happened to Mako, somehow, in some way, I would have much preferred her in the story instead of her death being the catalyst for a man. Sure they did the same thing in The Force Awakens, but we had seen Han for three movies at this point. I love Rinko Kikuchi so I felt very slighted. Did they think audiences would confuse her with Tian Jing (Who, at least, had far more to do and did so very well here as opposed to in Skull Island)? 

 

For such an emphasis on a diverse, worldly cast, I.... don't remember any of these kids besides the main three. 

 

RANKING: 18/27
 

Onto April!

[Morieris]

8. Peter Rabbit

Time for my credibility to die.

 

I know we were all .... concerned about this movie (The post "Why can't we just get Peter Rabbit the way Beatrix Potter wrote it?????" still makes me laugh on here).

I need Domhall Gleeson to be in more movies that are batshit but not….science, scar-you-for-months batshit.

Also, I relate deeply to his hatred of the countryside.

 

Despite starring James Corden and the occasional CGI animal singing contemporary music, this was an absolute delight of a film.

 

The amount of heart with Peter protecting his sisters and home was suitable but not overwhelmingly cloying, balanced out by the dark humor in the failed attempts to kill either the rabbits or Mr.McGregor and his family. I love that kind of humor in kids movies where you have to go "Wait...that MIGHT be too much?"


The little moments of animated handdrawn water-colory paintings are so cool, though I’m glad the entire movie wasn’t this way. A little goes a long way and it really stood out.

RANKING: 10/27

[Morieris]

9. A Quiet Place

Eerily similar to my initial thoughts about this movie 

_{I want ya'll to know that I spent time looking through the posters going "Oh jeeze, calm down".}

 

There is appeal and artistry.  It’s adequately acted (Millicent Simmonds actually being deaf definitely adds something that a hearing actress couldn’t. I’m glad she’s here!) 

 

And I’m normally not a person who needs an explanation for EVERYTHING in a movie to enjoy it or make sense of it, but this movie had just a little…too little for me.

 

But I also don’t need this to become Paramount’s Cloverfield Universe 2.0, ya dig?

 

It’s not something I regret looking at, after all, I love Emily Blunt (though not enough to see Mary Poppins Returns), but out of the trio of actors-turned-directors movies of Get Out, this, and A Star Is Born (2018), this falls in the “Good start” category, not the “Oh boy, Krasinski is a future masterpiece!” category yet.

 

(Though I do appreciate him outright saying that the idea of the creatures came outright from the story about the crawfish crawling up the Thames near the end of Rocknrolla. 

Hey, let him direct a sequel!)

 

RANKING: 11/27, which is probably going to change the more I think about it.

[Morieris]

10. Rampage 

😴

 

The Rock knows his lane, stays in it most of the time, and this is what you get. Semi-stoic badass who gets the job done and nothing is exciting about this.

At least he outright said "We're not making Saving Private Ryan here," love that awareness!

 

He really needs to do some more things like Jumanji. I'm not expecting Jungle Cruise to be that 'different', The Rock is either stoic, like I  said, or charmingly goofy but always in control and reassuring.

But I'll be watching that bc again, I love him and Emily.

 

OH, the fight in the forest with the flying wolf. That was cool.

 

Otherwise I was totally bored. Except the ending. I guess.

 

RANKING: 23/27
This was pretty short so here's a third one coming later today.

[Eric Atreides]

On 12/30/2018 at 5:09 PM, Morieris said:

Despite starring James Corden and the occasional CGI animal singing contemporary music, this was an absolute delight of a film.

 

 

11 hours ago, Morieris said:

 I love Emily Blunt (though not enough to see Mary Poppins Returns)

 

Y'know, at times I question our friendship.

[Morieris]

40 minutes ago, CoolEric258 said:

 

 

Y'know, at times I question our friendship.

 

Compromise; 

 

They put Emily in the PR sequel.

 

It'd be a step up from Sherlock Gnomeo and Juliet or whatever that was. 

[Porthos]

On 12/29/2018 at 1:45 PM, Morieris said:

6. The Hurricane Heist

Quote

“The notion that hurricanes might be sentient demons is so absurd that you wish the movie would lean into it more; alas, we only get to see the skull one more time, and it's never explained.”

 

Wait...  WHAT!!!

 

...

 

I've ignored this film completely, not even bothering to look at any comments on it. 

 

...

 

I... I had no idea.

 

...

 

You know, I've actually sat through a showing of Druids at home one day.  Can this actually be worse? 

[Morieris]

11. Avengers: Infinity War

or, surprisingly, the second most forgettable superhero film of the year.

 

That’s not a detriment to the film -  It's just that the other two, one I've already talked about, were more memorable.

I like MCU movies (Read: The Iron Man ones, Black Panther, and Guardians 1) but I wouldn’t call myself a fan (Though when I said this on r/movies and listed the ones I saw, one person was like ‘So you watched like 10 but you’re NOT a fan????’, which, eh, I see your point). 

 

I was just never wholly into them as a lot of people.

Most of the beginning cast, I never really liked, the one exception being Hemsworth (Ragnarok, while loud and wild and a little tiring, definitely helped on that front. Also his arms.

Though I’ve never seen the first one or Dark World and feel no need to. Should I?).

 

After Guardians 1, Black Panther was the only one I saw in theaters more than once.

 

To me, Karen Gillan is the best actress in these movies by far. I don’t necessarily want a Nebula stand alone movie, but for a character I have zero familiarity with, she really brings the ruthlessness and hurt and I Love her for it. Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 was probably my most disliked movie of 2017, which is astonishing considering what else came out then.

 

Also, this was the first movie I saw Cumberbatch's Doctor Strange in and I honestly like him a lot. Not enough to see his solo movie. 

 

My notes say...Thanos was a bit short sighted in his plan, which sure. I know more about Thanos than most Marvel villains, but I think this is where Killmonger rises a bit above. Things are going to change...but given how...routine? I don't want to say 'mechanical', so let's say...organized - the MCU is, we know some of these people are coming back. (Though, I didn't expect the wildcard of finishing their trilogy to be the Guardians).

 

Well, as a standalone movie, from someone who knows a little but not a lot about the MCU, it's entertaining and clear enough to stand on its own, which is a huge accomplishment for something intended to be the culmination of like 18 movies. I'm certainly curious enough to want to see how it concludes.

 

RANKING: 15/27

Next up; A Special May Bundle

Edited January 1, 2019 by Morieris

[Morieris]

14 minutes ago, Porthos said:

 

Wait...  WHAT!!!

 

...

 

I've ignored this film completely, not even bothering to look at any comments on it. 

 

...

 

I... I had no idea.

 

...

 

You know, I've actually sat through a showing of Druids at home one day.  Can this actually be worse? 

 

It is absolutely amazing.

 

 

 

[Morieris]

MEH MAY

 

Because I didn’t watch any new releases in May or even from May I think, I’m going to list some movies, briefly, that I saw throughout the year, but that have (mostly) left zero impression on me.

Just not a lot to say about them.

 

17. UNCLE DREW

Ball is life. 

 

 

The basketball players did a far better job than the actual actors.

 

RANKING: 20/27

---

 

 

18. Won’t You Be My Neighbor? 

 

 

Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood was not something I watched all the time. Or I did, but I don’t remember. So this informed me and stuff. Some of the imagery is straight from the headlines and kind of shocking to see here.

 

It got the job done. Though, truthfully, I need to work on learning how to judge documentaries better. Frankly, if it conveys the information in a reasonable to understand way, it’s good to me.

 

RANKING: 12/27

---

 

 

20. To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before 

It happened.

 

 

This took the hopeless romantic demographic by storm, making a heartthrob out of one Noah Centineo, but it’s not my rom-com of choice this year.

 

RANKING: 19/27

---

 

 

12. Fahrenheit 451 (2018)

 

 

Did the casting manager for this go “We need an idealist, a sexy aloof woman, and someone typecast into being a hardass angry guy” and someone else pipe up “I know just the three people!”

 

Sofia, Michael, and…well, Michael, have all done better in other movies this year. The only thing this really has going for it is a beautiful production design and the fact that no one is really awful, but they’re not stretching their abilities. And that's fine, I guess, hell, some people have even won Oscars for playing themselves. 

 

I’m not familiar with the book or other adaptations.

 

RANKING: 22/27

 

Also included could be Santa Jaws, but c'mon it's a Syfy movie. 

Next up: June, and it's more disappointing than you think, but not in the way you think.