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CAYOM YEAR 6 - PART I - MOVIE SUBMISSION

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The Last Policeman


Cast: Ansel Elgort (Hank Palace), Zoey Deutch (Naomi Eddes), Kaitlyn Dever (Nico Palace), Jane Levy (Officer Trish McDonnell), David Harbour (Detective McGully), Maggie Siff (Sophia Littlejohn), Barry Pepper (Erik Littlejohn), Matthew Lillard (Detective Andreas), Michael Cudlitz (Toussaint), with Mike Colter (Detective Culverson), and Annette Bening (Dr. Alice Fenton)
Genre: Dystopian Crime Drama
Directed By: Cary Fukunaga
Written by: Damon Lindleof
Original Music by: Max Richter
Release Date: September 16, Year 6
Theater Count: 3213
Budget: $35 Million
Running Time: 125 Minutes
MPAA Rating: R for strong language, brief depictions of violence, disturbing images, and some sexuality


Plot Summary: 
 

Spoiler

 

The film opens with a montage of news reports, with many newscasters played by real-life anchors from ABC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, etc.

 

NEWS REPORT 1: Interesting story for you astronomy fans out there. The Palomar Observatory based at CalTech was the first to detect a new Near-Earth Asteroid last week at the beginning of April. The asteroid, designated 2017GV1, is expected to make a close approach near Earth at some point next year.

 

NEWS REPORT 2: Asteroid 2017GV1, also called Maia, is the subject of many crackpot rumors and theories about its passage by Earth late next year. However, scientists report that all data calculations indicate it will remain a more than safe distance from Earth. The odds of an “impact event” are estimated to be no more than 1 in 1000.

 

NEWS REPORT 3: Breaking news this June 7, 2017, the latest observations of Maia are being interpreted at NASA to indicate a five percent possibility that its trajectory will bring it into extremely close proximity to Earth. The same observations indicate that the asteroid has a circumference of 4.5 to 7 kilometers.

 

NEWS REPORT 4: Scientists today explained how the asteroid Maia was not discovered until the beginning of April this year. Maia has an extreme elliptical orbit that only allows it to be visible from Earth every 75 years or so, and well, 75 years ago no one was looking. The asteroid is confirmed to have a diameter of 6.5 kilometers. The odds of impact are estimated at around 20 percent, though those numbers have been consistently trending upwards.

 

NEWS REPORT 5: Financial markets collapsed today as the new calculations for Maia estimated a more than 1-in-3 chance of impact in the late summer or fall of next year. The President has issued an executive order shutting down Wall Street until things settle down.

 

NEWS REPORT 6: Today, September 17, 2017, the asteroid Maia has entered conjunction, being too close to the Sun in its solar system orbit to be observed. The asteroid, which at latest estimate, has a fifty-percent probability of impact with Earth, is likely to remain in conjunction until January, at which time scientists expect to have far more accurate observations.

 

NEWS REPORT 7: In the wake of growing uncertainty and civil unrest, Congress has passed the IPSS Act, which gives greater authority to military and federal law enforcement agencies to maintain order around the country. A number of lawmakers and public figures have decried the legislation as unconstitutional, but the Speaker of the House has insisted that in the wake of a growing national emergency, safety must take the place of some liberties.

 

NEWS REPORT 8: The President today announced that in the wake of the cessation of petroleum exports from OPEC, Canada, and other countries, that the United States will cease petroleum exports as well. Petroleum and gas companies are to be nationalized, with priority delivery of gasoline and other fuel to military and law enforcement.

 

NEWS REPORT 9: CBS News here with a special report. Today, January 2nd, Maia emerged from conjunction. Scientists are working extremely hard to take the newest and most accurate projections of its path, to be analyzed at the NASA Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena. We’ve been told that by tomorrow, we’ll know if the chances of impact are 100% or 0.

 

NEWS REPORT 10: CBS News once again on January 3rd, 2018. We’re taking you straight to the Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena, where Chief Engineer Tolkin will momentarily appear to hopefully deliver to all the world some good news.

 

*The report cuts to a hastily assembled podium and microphone stand in a drab auditorium. Chief Engineer Tolkin walks into the auditorium clutching a stack of folders and documents under one arm. He places them on the podium and looks into the camera. After he trips over a couple attempts to say something, he pauses, takes off his glasses with shaking hands, and begins to cry.*

 

*fade to black*


THE LAST POLICEMAN


Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Right Ascension: 19 02 54.4
Declination: -34 11 39
Elongation: 78.0

 

Distance From Earth: 3.195 AU

 

The sound of a cellphone ringing wakes up Hank Palace (Elgort) from a shallow sleep. His apartment is spartan, bare of furnishings, and he himself is sleeping on just a mattress, no actual bed. He drowsily reaches for the phone on the floor and answers it. “Yeah?”

 

VOICE: “10-54S, at the McDonald’s on Main. Michaelson called it in.”

PALACE: “I’ll be there in twenty.”

 

Palace slowly gets up and groggily does a quick shower and puts on his plainclothes and heads out the door, grabbing from the top of his dresser a handgun that he sticks in a shoulder holster, and a badge that reads “Concord, New Hampshire Police Department.”

 

Palace drives through the streets of Concord, which are pretty barren in the pre-dawn hour. As he drives he passes by a house with several large signs erected saying various religious and doom-heralding slogans. He eventually arrives at the McDonalds to find a couple squad cars waiting for him, including a couple cops: Officer Trish McDonnell (Levy), Officer Michaelson, and someone from the attorney general’s office. Michaelson, nonchalantly eating a breakfast sandwich, says he went to the bathroom to take a shit and “found the hanger waiting for me.” Palace waves him off and tells him to collect statements. Michaelson grumbles about it and passes the job on to McConnell, who immediately sets out diligently. Palace and the state investigator go into the McDonalds.

 

In the bathroom Palace investigates the scene, while the state official looks on, which is apparently of a middle-aged man who hung himself. From going through the corpse’s belongings, we learn the dead guy is Peter Zell, an insurance agent. Palace goes through some oddities.

 

“Wallet and keys, but no phone.” The state official shrugs and says that with cell service starting to get patchy from companies going under, the guy probably decided not to bother anymore.

 

“He also got beat up, see the bruising on the cheek, someone knocked him one, hard.” The state official lazily acknowledges that and goes back to sipping his coffee.

 

“And no note.” The official sighs and says the hanger probably left it at home for someone to find. He asks Palace how long he’s been a detective.

 

PALACE: “Three months.”

OFFICIAL: “How many suicides have you had to investigate in three months?”

PALACE: “Nine.”

OFFICIAL: “Well here is 10. Whole world is starting to check itself out, this guy just hopped onto the trend.”

 

Palace shrugs and continues to look at Zell’s body. He comments that if he was a killer, and he wanted to murder someone, and Concord was going through a spate of suicides via hanging, he’d make it look like another hanging. The official yawns, sips some coffee and says “sure, but this is a suicide” before leaving the bathroom. Palace takes a last look at the body and then leaves.

 

Outside, he regroups with Michaelson and McConnell and says he is going to call in the coroner’s office to give the body a full workup. Michaelson groans about having to guard the bathroom until someone arrives, all for a hanger. Palace says he thinks something warrants a closer look.

 

“Yeah Stretch, but you’re not the one who’s gotta sit on his ass for an hour until the meat wagon comes.” Palace ignores Michaelson. McConnell for her part is earnestly going over her notes in a little flipbook and jotting things down.

 

Palace returns to his car and as he gets in, sees a woman across the street looking at the McDonalds, but then quickly hurry away when she sees Palace.

 

Palace drives to his station, the road mostly bare of cars save for the growing number of abandoned ones along the sides of the roads. People move around relatively quickly, and we can see that what is probably an abnormal percentage of them have handguns in holsters.

 

At the office, the three other detectives in the Criminal Investigation Unit are there. Detectives Culverson (Colter). McGully (Harbour), and Andreas (Lillard). They’re chatting about random stuff when McGully, reading a newspaper, says “hey, we got the date.”

 

ANDREAS: “We already know the date. Everyone knows the date. October 3rd.”

MCGULLY: “No not that one, the one when they tell us where the son-of-a-bitch hits. April 9th.”

 

Palace goes to his desk and half pays attention as McGully, dressed in sweats, reads details from the newspaper article, such as the scientists being able to on April 9 to narrow the likely impact zone to a 15 mile radius, “not that it really matters too much where it hits” he adds sardonically. Andreas is uncomfortable, feeling the news is just rubbing it all in now. He’s also dressed very casually. Culverson, on the other hand, is dressed in an immaculate 3-piece suit. He goes to the bulletin board and hangs a piece of paper divided into sections. “Let the official Concord Police Department Landing Pool” begin he says. “Regardless of what else happens, at least we can make some money off our friends in the Patrol Division.”

 

Palace by this point is off in space, mind elsewhere, when Culverson gets his attention to get his guess for the Pool. Palace apologizes and says he was thinking about his new case, which McGully dismisses as another hanger. Culverson isn’t convinced anything is there, but asks Palace what has him worked up. Palace says it’s the belt. The dead guy, Peter Zell, used a belt to hang himself, but he was also wearing a belt. “Why bring a second belt to hang yourself? Why not just use the one you were wearing?”

 

“Because he didn’t want his pants to fall down and leave his dick out” McGully says, crumpling up a piece of paper and tossing it up and down. Palace shrugs and says maybe, but the belt Zell was hung by was a very fancy belt. It just seems odd. Culverson says “if you haven’t noticed, things have been odd around here the past several months.” McGully takes the crumpled up paper and throws it at Palace and bounces it off his head with a chuckle.

 

Palace goes to the insurance company where Zell worked and meets with Zell’s boss, Theodore Gompers. Gompers says that Zell was very dedicated as an actuary, was quiet, level-headed, didn’t seem fazed, other than one time around Halloween when he had a freak-out at someone dressed as the asteroid for the office party. He disappeared for a week or so, but then came back to work. Gompers says that Zell only had one friend as far as he knew, a large overweight guy. Palace asks about the bruising on Zell’s face and Gompers says Zell said he fell down some stairs a couple weeks ago.

 

Palace then goes to check out Zell’s desk where he is approached by a woman with a shaved head, the same woman he saw scurry away from the McDonalds. The woman, Naomi Eddes (Deutch), asks what Palace is looking for and Palace replies that he doesn’t know, an investigation can’t be mapped out, it follows evidence on to the next piece of evidence. Naomi says it sounds like quoting from a textbook. Palace pauses, looks up at her, and replies “paraphrasing, actually.” The two have a little laugh. Palace asks about the computer system and Naomi says they’ve been on paper since November, “internet service here has been shit since those wackos blew up that switching station in Vermont.” Naomi says she did not know Zell well, but generally confirms what Gompers has said to him. Palace asks a few more questions and then asks Naomi what she was doing at the McDonald’s. Naomi says she likes the coffee there. Palace asks why she suddenly left and Naomi says she forgot her wallet at home. Palace asks if this is true and Naomi replies “Is this a routine investigation?” and then walks away.

 

Palace finishes up asking around and learns that Zell was picked up by someone at the end of the day yesterday by someone with a red pickup truck with a US flag painted onto the side. He goes back to his car to make a call with his cell phone, and it takes a couple times as we see indications that cell phone service is spotty, until he finally gets through to a contact who runs an auto shop. The contact says he’ll see if he can ID the truck.

 

Palace then goes to Zell’s home to look through it. There’s all sorts of natural science, math, and sci-fi books and materials, and everything, from books to magazines to cereal boxes, are meticulously alphabetized. He finds in a kitchen drawer a sheet of paper with two carefully written words: Dear Sophia. Palace carefully folds the paper and tucks it into a jacket pocket. Palace finds a shoebox wrapped in duct tape with “12.375” written on the side, as well as the only photograph in the house, a picture of a boy with “Kyle, February 10” written on the back. In the shoebox are bunch of scientific articles and notes tracking the course of Maia. Palace takes these things as well, and in the car is contacted by McConnell over the radio, who says he located Zell’s only living family, an older sister named Sophia.

 

Back at the office, Palace calls Sophia, Sophia Littlejohn, to ask her some questions. As he does, we see McGully on the far side of the room opposite him turning his scarf into a mock noose and making choking noises. Palace ignores him. Sophia (Siff), like Gompers and Naomi, says she was not close to her brother. Palace asks Sophia if there would be a reason Zell would have been writing a letter to her and after a long pause, Sophia says no. Palace lets it hang for a minute and then insists that he speak with Sophia tomorrow morning, which she agrees to. After he hangs up, Andreas, who has been sitting across the way, says to Palace “I don’t know how you do it” before silently getting up and walking away. Then McGully comes up and says “Stretch, I’ll meet you halfway. I’ll call it an attempted murder.” Palace looks up at McGully confused, and McGully with a shitty grin says “because it’s a suicide, that you’re trying to make a murder!” McGully laughs, satisfied, and walks off, and Palace looks out a window in thought.

 

Palace meets up with McConnell and a couple other patrol officers for coffee, watching the people of Concord. Most people are still doing relatively normal routines, but McConnell says she can tell the mood in the city is different. Palace agrees. “It’s like we’re all kids, waiting for someone to get home and tell us how much trouble we are in. Anxious, confused, ready to snap.” McConnell nods and sips her coffee and asks if Palace if he’s thought about going “bucket list.” Palace, incredulous, asks if he looks like someone who’d go off to skyjump in the Caribbean or something. McConnell laughs and says no, not really. Palace asks McConnell how her kids are holding up and she says they’re old enough to understand something is going on, but not quite old enough to “get it.”

 

That night, Palace dreams a memory. He is a dozen years younger, and is woken at night by the sound of heavy knocking on his childhood home’s front door. Wearing an oversized Boston Red Sox jersey, child Palace cautiously walks down the upstairs hallway, briefly checking on his younger sister, who is still asleep, then continuing to the front stairs as he hears the front door open, and we see him standing anxiously at the top of the stairs, looking down at a policeman who has entered the house, holding his patrol hat in his hands with a sad look.

 

The following morning Palace is woken up by his cell phone. It’s not even 5 AM. He groggily answers it and a female voice says “Henny, I need your help.” Palace wakes up a bit at that and says “Where are you Nico, are you ok?” Nico (Dever) says through the phone that she is home but going crazy, and when Palace asks what is wrong, she replies after some hesitation “Derek didn’t come home last night.” Palace groans, hangs up the cellphone, chucks it aside, and tries to go back to sleep, putting a pillow over his head to drown out the second phonecall seconds later.

 

We cut to a few hours later with Palace arriving at Sophia Littlejohn’s residence. She isn’t there, having gone to the hospital in an emergency, she is a midwife, but her husband Erik (Pepper) is there. Erik is a chaplain at the same hospital. Erik says that Peter and Sophia weren’t close, but they had tried to reach out to him recently since he seemed depressed. Palace shows Erik the paper with “Dear Sophia” written on it and Erik assumes it to be an unfinished suicide note. Erik has little else to add, so Palace thanks him for his time. As he leaves, Erik and Sophia’s son rumbles down the steps to go to school. It’s a young boy named Kyle.

 

Later that day Palace arrives at the morgue of the Concord Hospital, where he meets with Dr. Alice Fenton (Bening), the coroner, who has been examining Zell’s body. Palace introduces himself and holds out his hand, but Fenton ignores him and goes back to taking records of the body. “You’re gonna stand there looking for a handout or are you gonna tell me about your corpse” she says brusquely. Palace stumbles over his words but lays out the details of the scene. Fenton says it sounds like Palace is describing a suicide, and pursuant to the new laws, she doesn’t do autopsies on suicides. Palace says he thinks details indicate a question of foul play. Fenton gives Palace a death stare and says “Detective, my daughter has a dozen piano recitals this season, and I’m missing one right now to examine this body for you. Do you know how many recitals she’ll have next season?” Palace has no idea how to respond. Fenton nods and says “Well let’s hope this is a fucking murder then” and goes to work.

 

We see Fenton meticulously perform the autopsy, and at the conclusion she says one word “Suicide,” and starts to clean and pack up her tools and store the body. As she does this, Palace tries to think of possible suspicious things, such as bruising, asking for a toxicity screening, etc. Fenton says that there’s no evidence of a struggle in the neck area, no signs of needle marks or other signs of drug use. “And even if there was, there’s only one forensic lab left in the state and the guy running it is a moron, since his boss decided it was time to go study art in France.” Palace looks defeated and Fenton says that she gets it, he wants to keep going. “But this man was not murdered.”

 

Palace gloomily steps out to the parking lot and finds a young woman a handful of years younger than him sitting on the hood of his car, smoking a marijuana cigarette. His sister, Nico. Nico, pouting, says she left Palace “maybe 17 messages” and wants to know why he hung up on her. She looks bedraggled. Palace sighs and sits on the hood next to Nico, who offers him the cigarette, saying he could use a little. Palace shakes his head and says he wishes she wouldn’t smoke. Nico shrugs, says weed’s legal now that the Feds have bigger concerns, and flicks the cigarette onto the snow. Palace asks Nico to tell him what’s wrong and she goes into how Derek didn’t come home, and she called all the bars, all of his friends, and none have seen him.

 

Palace says unconvincingly he’d like to help, but he has his own case. Nico says Derek is family, he’s her husband after all, and Palace dismissively says they aren’t really married. “You barely knew one another and got married a week after we knew the sky really was falling.” Palace says that Derek will come back, he always does when he disappears for a night. The two argue and Nico is pissed that her brother thinks investigating a “fucking hanger” is more important than his sister, and she starts to cry. Palace sighs, knowing he can’t win, takes his sister into a hug and whispers to her that he’ll see what he can do.

 

In the station, Palace makes several phone calls to various prisons and police departments to see if Derek has been picked up anywhere. As he does this Culverson watches him while reading a newspaper, slightly intrigued. All of Palace’s calls turn up empty. He mutters to himself “maybe the asshole actually did run off for good this time.”

 

The following morning, Palace’s informant comes through on the red truck. It belongs to a J.T. Toussaint, an unemployed construction worker. Palace goes to meet with him and finds Toussaint (Cudlitz) with a small Bichon Frise dog named Houdini. Toussaint, sitting with Houdini on his lap, says that he and Zell were best friends growing up, but drifted apart for about 20 years until Zell called him up out of the blue last year to reconnect. Since then they hung out on occasion, mainly drinking and some practice shooting, Toussaint gesturing to some rifles stored in a gun cabinet. Toussaint says he picked Zell up, they caught a movie, had some drinks, and then Zell left to walk home. We get the sense that Palace is made uncomfortable by Toussaint’s barely concealed passive-aggressive demeanor. After finishing with his questions, Palace gets up to go and Toussaint, for no apparent reason, comments that he thinks he’s going to have to shoot Houdini before the big day. “Little guy won’t have much luck surviving the aftermath.” Palace, disturbed, says nothing and leaves.

 

Back at the police station, Palace has a background check run on Toussaint and it comes up clean, no criminal record. The admin tech says that Toussaint is clean as a whistle. “Unless he did some shit down in New Orleans, that place has been completely off-grid the past 3 months, some real fucked-up libertine stuff going on down there.”

 

Back in the detectives’ section of the station, Palace tries to get ahold of Sophia Littlejohn again, but she is unavailable. He’s then summoned over by Detective Andreas, who is transfixed rewatching on his computer the official PSA NASA released in mid-January to explain the astrophysics of Maia’s trajectory. Andreas, sweaty, anxious, starts replaying a particular 2-second segment near the end and is rambling, his speech a little slurred, about errors and mistakes like it’s the Zapruder film, and how he’s tried to get NASA’s attention. Palace listens to all this with little expression, and then calmly turns off Andreas’ monitor. Andreas freaks, but Palace puts a hand on Andreas’ shoulder and says “There’s no error, no glitch…it’s just the way it is.” Palace is then called over by Culverson. Culverson says that he was listening in the other day to Palace trying to find Nico’s “husband” and he made a few calls of his own, and found the guy. Palace thanks Culverson and Culverson, with a smirk, says “you may not thank me later” and hands Palace a folded piece of paper, which Palace unfolds and reads with a groan.

 

Still at his desk, Andreas reboots his monitor, and goes back to watching the video.

 

Palace, in his car, reaches his destination: The Concord Federal Building, the main center of federal law enforcement in New Hampshire. The building is guarded by heavily armed National Guardsmen and reservists, and after checking Palace’s ID he is waved through. He goes to the entrance where he is met by a woman in combat fatigues who tells him “You have five minutes. Then you don’t come back.” Palace is escorted to a cell where Derek lounges. He looks like a lazy do-for-nothing, with white-guy dreadlocks and a vacant expression. He takes his sweet time to answer Palace’s questions, saying that he was arrested because he “allegedly” operated an ATV on federal land. Palace asks if he did, where he was, what he was doing, but Derek says he can’t tell him that. “It’s a secret.” When Palace says he is only here because Nico asked him, Derek says Nico is such a wonderful person. Palace asks if Derek has a lawyer and if he’s being charged and Derek lazily shrugs. At that point the military guard tells Palace it is time to go.

 

Palace meets Nico in a parking lot across town. Nico, smoking a cigarette, insists that Palace try again another day, but Palace says he doubts Culverson can pull strings like that a second time. Also, Derek did not want to explain what happened. Nico says Derek can just be a little weird sometimes. When Palace again insists there is nothing he can do, Nico gets quiet and says “That thing, it’s coming for us. I don’t want to be alone when it does.” Palace puts a hand on her shoulder and says that she isn’t alone. Nico looks at him with a couple tears and replies “I’ve always been sort of alone,” and walks away from Palace.

 

Palace is back at work, trying to focus on the Zell case. Culverson asks how the thing with Derek went and Palace gives an awkward shrug and Culverson understands, going back to his desk to read the paper. McGully asks how the fake killer hunt is going and Palace says he is getting there. Andreas is nowhere to be seen. Culverson mutters at something in the paper and McGully asks what’s wrong now. Culverson says the Pakistanis have proclaimed that they cannot trust anyone else to save their country, so they intend to nuke Maia once it is close enough. McGully laughs and says he always figured it’d be the Iranians. “No missiles” Palace says. Culverson nods and says that the State Department has proclaimed that if it looks like Pakistan is going to try and nuke Maia, the US will nuke Pakistan first. “So, we have that to look forward to” he says sarcastically. The three share a chuckle and then Palace goes outside to make a call on his cellphone. After a couple failed attempts to get service he gets through and upon reaching the person on the other end says he’d like to meet, it’s been a while but he wants to talk about something.

 

Palace goes back inside and is told that Sophia Littlejohn is on the landline for him. He picks up the phone and can barely get in a word as Sophia tells Palace that she appreciates his concern, but Peter was depressed and withdrawn, and wouldn’t let her help. “He was my brother, I loved him, but he was a sad man who took his own life. Please don’t call me again.” And she hangs up.

 

Palace dreams another memory. He is twelve again, Nico six, and now they are at a wake, presumably their parents’ wake. Nico doesn’t quite seem to have fully grasped that their parents are gone, and constantly follows Palace around, asking him questions, ideas about mom and dad coming back. Palace indulges her, but slowly grows frustrated, until he erupts and storms away before turning and shouting at his little sister “They’re both dead! Period! End of story! D-E-A-D-DEAD!” The other mourners look on in shock as Palace storms off and Nico starts to cry.

 

The following morning, Palace gets a call at home from McConnell, who says that she found Peter Zell’s phone. Palace perks up and asks her to come over. We cut to Palace and McConnell in his kitchen, drinking coffee at the table. McConnell is in her patrol uniform, Palace still in a t-shirt and sweats. As they drink coffee, McConnell gives a very animated retelling of events that led her to reexamine the scene of Zell’s death, and she realized that it was quite possible someone boosted the phone from Zell’s body before the police showed up, thinking the money from selling the phone was worth the risk. So, she goes back to the McD’s to ask some questions and as soon as she got in, one of the teens at the counter goes white as a ghost and books it, and she gave chase. “So I draw my sidearm”

 

“You did not” Palace says laughing.

“Oh yes I do” McConnell replies with a smile and chuckle. “So the kid is running around like the Roadrunner on crack, and eventually I’m getting pissed at the kid so I yell ‘Stop Motherfucker!’”

“Okay now you’re pulling my leg”

“No Hank, I definitely am not, because how many more chances am I gonna have to yell Stop Motherfucker at some little shit”

“Do your kids hear you talk like this at home?”

“They’re in elementary school, you wouldn’t believe the crap that comes out there these days.”

 

McConnell finishes her story, she got the kid stopped and he tells her who he pawned the phone too, and she tracks down the sale at the pawn shop, and voila, she has the phone. Palace with a smile does a slow clap as McConnell puts the cellphone on the table and slides it over to him.

 

“You’ll make a great detective one day” he says to her.

“Oh, I know” she says, finishing her coffee.

 

Palace goes though the call history on Zell’s phone. A couple calls to Sophia in the few days before he died, several calls to Toussaint in the last few weeks, and a call almost every night around 10 PM for around a minute each. Palace, on a hunch, calls the number. After a few rings the other line picks up, and a familiar voice says confusedly on the other end “Hello?” It’s Naomi Eddes.

 

Palace tells Naomi it’s him, and that they are going to have to talk again.

 

Cut to Palace sitting at a booth at a local diner and Naomi walks in, and comes over and sits on the other side. Palace doesn’t waste time and wants Naomi to come clean about withholding information from him the last time they spoke. He tries to do a tough-guy routine, but the audience can tell it’s hard for him to pull off. Naomi calls his bluff and Palace pulls out his notebook and recites from it verbatim the conversation he had with her at Zell’s office.

 

NAOMI: “You wrote all that down?”

PALACE: “I have a good memory.”

 

Palace gets back to business as they order food, and after some prodding, Naomi says that Zell was a morphine addict. Naomi says he was addicted for a while, but he quit around October. He went through withdrawal hard, so Naomi says she offered to help him out, and would call him every night to check in on him, let him know that someone was there. Palace says that’s quite a lot for someone she barely knew. Naomi shrugs and says “he was suffering, and it didn’t seem like he had anyone else.” The two are quiet for a moment, until Naomi breaks the silence and changes the topic to non-police stuff, and the two talk while they eat, smiling, and it seems they’re taking a liking to one another.

 

We then see Palace going to the state forensics lab, the one Fenton had told him about earlier. The guy running the lab is exactly as Fenton had warned, out of his depth. Palace produces a vial of Zell’s blood and insists that toxicology tests be run on it, lying that Fenton ordered it. The guy agrees to run tests on the sample.

 

Walking from a nearby parking garage back to the station, Palace stumbles into a group of people, all wearing the same trenchcoats, holding pamphlets. The group forms a semi-circle in front of Palace blocking his path, saying things like “Have you heard the good news,” “be not afraid,” and “the truth is not yours to refuse.” Palace acts polite and tries to awkwardly move by them, but they keep on pressing the pamphlets on him, until McGully shows up, with an open beer bottle in hand, telling the group to clear off. The group backs away, letting Palace past. McGully takes a swig from his beer and tells the group “You wanna pray to somebody, pray to Bruce Willis” and them shambles back with Palace.

 

In the office, Palace is going through the various documents from the shoebox when something clicks, which he shares with the other detectives. Zell was performing a risk assessment: Once the odds of Maia impacting Earth went to 12.375%, the risk of the impact mitigated the risks of using illegal drugs. Palace surmises that when those odds hit, Zell went to Toussaint and the two decided to get high together, until Zell finally quit a few months later. Culverson nods approvingly, though McGully isn’t sure how this makes Zell a murder victim. Palace shrugs and says he’d like to find out, so McGully drains another beer and says “well let’s go run this Toussaint in then.” Culverson asks what would connect Toussaint to this, and Palace produces a part of Toussaint’s background check that shows that Toussaint’s dad was a drug dealer. “So Zell wants to get ahold of drugs, and he thinks of Toussaint, because Toussaint’s dad was connected.” Culverson nods and McGully claps his hands together excitedly and springs to action. Andreas meanwhile has been in his chair, catatonic, looking at one of the pamphlets the religious group was handing out. McGully pats Andreas on the shoulder and implores him to come along. Andreas though has a flat stare and asks what if the people are right. Palace says they aren’t and says they can stop thinking about Maia for an hour at least. “Not think about it” Andreas whispers, and he shakes his head and stays in his chair.

 

The three detectives go to Toussaint’s house and Toussaint, looking like a cornered animal, reluctantly allows them to come into the house for a chat. Inside, McGully lounges and smokes a cigar, Culverson casually leans on a fireplace mantle, and Palace gets to work with questions. Toussaint admits that he and Zell started using together, pain pills mostly, but says he had nothing to do with Zell’s death. “I know dealing and using narcotics means you’re locked up with no key until the big one hits” Toussaint says, “but I didn’t kill the guy.” McGully scoffs but Palace says he believes Toussaint, but he wants to know where they got the pills from. Toussaint says Zell was the one who got the pills. They’d take some together, but they’d leave some left over for Toussaint to sell on the side. Until October when Zell stopped bringing pills over and said he wanted to quit. Palace then asks about the night Zell died and Toussaint says they hung out, had some beer, and then Zell left. Something looks slightly off in Toussaint’s eyes when he says that, so Palace asks McGully what the mandatory sentence is on using an illegal fuel engine in a truck these days. McGully, enjoying playing bad cop, says “technically it’s officer’s discretion, but I say we just shoot the fucker now.” Palace sighs and turns to tell McGully to knock it off, when suddenly Toussaint erupts in rage and piledrives Palace to the ground and starts beating him in the head with a statuette, and in seconds McGully and Culverson shoot Toussaint several times as Houdini sits in the corner of the room barking in fright.

 

We cut to Palace being checked out at the hospital, the area around his left eye heavily bruised and bandaged up. A doctor tells him he has an orbital fracture, and to keep his left eye safe it’s going to be bandaged up for at least a few days. “It’s going to hurt like hell, since we’re low on pain meds and orders are to save them for the real messed up ones.” Culverson is with Palace and Palace says Toussaint was just scared, he was afraid of being locked up until the end. Culverson says maybe, but maybe he also reacted because he was in deeper than he admitted. Palace says they still don’t know where Zell got the pills from. Culverson shrugs and says “well detective, I suppose that’s for you to find out.”

 

Palace goes to visit Sophia Littlejohn at home, and when Palace doesn’t leave, she relents. They sit and Sophia rambles a bit until Palace says it’s okay, he knows that Zell took her prescription pad. Sophia apologizes for not telling him. She writes prescriptions very rarely as a midwife, so it took her weeks to realize her brother had stolen it. So last October she confronted Peter, the two had a long argument, at the end of which she told him she never wanted to see him again….”and we didn’t speak since.” She breaks down crying a bit. At this point Erik comes into the house and tells Palace he was the one who told Sophia to lie. Palace shakes his head and says it’s ok, “Listen…I’m sorry to have bothered you. The case is closed.” He quietly gets up and leaves as Sophia continues to cry and Erik sits down and holds her.

 

That night, Palace is taken by McGully to a bar to celebrate his “having cracked the case,” which McGully says with every ounce of sarcasm possible. Andreas is dragged along to, but looks uncomfortable. They have a few drinks and then stumble out onto the street. As they walk, Andreas looks sullen and Palace asks if he’s okay. Andreas says no, hasn’t been ok for a while. At this point, far down the street, a loud honking is heard and a city bus comes up over the hill. Palace says city bus service was suspended and McGully surmises its some idiots joyriding. The driver keeps honking the horn while his buddy leans out the open side door yahooing into the night. Palace puts a hand on his holster and asks McGully if he wants to do anything, but McGully, holding a half-finished beer, says they’re actually driving somewhat safely, and “we’re off duty”, so let them go by. As the bus nears, Andreas stares at the bus, and then says “oh well”, and before Palace or McGully can say anything, he steps out in front of the bus and is hit. The bus instantly careens to a halt as Andreas is flung backwards in a broken heap. A crowd gathers as McGully and Palace rush to Andreas’ body to check, but he is obviously dead,. They sit down next to Andreas’ body as McGully drains his beer and says “think this one’s a murder too, Stretch?”

 

We briefly go to Andreas’ funeral a couple days later, the other detectives from the unit present. As Palace leaves the funeral, he gets a call from the friend he had reached out to a couple days ago, and she says they can meet. “Cambridge in 2 hours.”

 

We get a few short shots of Palace driving south into Massachusetts and ending up outside Harvard Square, where his contact, a woman about his age, is waiting on a bench. They hug, she comments on his busted face, and they go for a walk. When they end up on a bridge over the Charles River they stop and the friend, Allison, who we learn works for Homeland Security, pulls out a folded up set of papers and says that Derek is a terrorist. Palace laughs and says Derek is just an idiot, but Allison says the two are not mutually exclusive.

 

ALLISON: “What if I told you Hank, that the US government anticipated an event like this occurring and pre-emptively prepared a habitable environment outside of the asteroid’s reach where a select population could be preserved for later re-population of the planet”

PALACE: “Sounds like a bad movie”

ALLISON: “And you’d be right, except some people are a lot less…perspicacious.”

 

Palace shakes his head as Allison hands him the papers, which are an official Defense Department memo from a decade earlier about methods for dealing with a “global impact event on short warning” and the conclusion at the bottom in bold print says “All deterrent scenarios unfeasible in time-frame, civil defense and emergency preparedness only options.” Allison says one participant in the study dissented and suggested constructing habitats on the moon, but that went nowhere. Except some conspiracy theorists think it did. So when Derek was caught fooling around or whatever near a military installation, the system automatically pinged him as a terrorist. Palace sighs and mumbles Nico always knew how to pick them, and then hands the papers back to Allison, who tears them into tiny shreds and drops them into the river below. She says she’s sorry she couldn’t be of more help. Palace shrugs and says he had to at least check it out. As they walk back towards Palace’s car, he asks about the whole Pakistan nuke thing and why the US is making a big stink of it. Allison chuckles and says “Well, assuming they hit it with their nukes, they won’t, but assume they did, and assume they actually did blow the thing up, it wouldn’t change a thing other than turn one giant asteroid into thousands of smaller irradiated ones. Not really any better.”

 

On the drive back to Concord, Palace is able to reach Nico on his cell and gives her the bad news about Derek. He avoids mentioning the terrorist stuff, just that the military doesn’t mess around with even drunk idiot joyriders. Nico says she understands, and changes the subject as Palace drives on.

 

Palace returns to Concord when he pulls over for a few seconds to think. Something comes to mind, and he changes course and drives a different direction.

 

He arrives at Toussaint’s house, which is surrounded by crime scene tape. Nothing has really been looked into yet other than standard forensics. Palace pokes around and winds up in the basement, where he finds nothing but a dog bed, some dog toys, and a couple empty food and water bowls. As if on cue Houdini appears and rushes down to yap at Palace. Palace looks at the dog and sighs, and it cuts to him cooking some bacon in Toussaint’s kitchen that he feeds to the dog with a fresh water bowl. As the dog chows down, Palace sits at the kitchen table and looks outside in the side yard, where he sees a doghouse. Palace looks at the dog. “If he kept you in the basement, then what’s in the doghouse?”

 

Cut to Palace moving the doghouse outside and finding a barely concealed hole, in which he finds bags full of prescription painkillers, a revolver with ammo, vials of liquid, syringes, and thousands of dollars in cash. Palace, looking flustered, goes and gets more crime scene tape and rolls it around the entire perimeter of the yard, Houdini trotting after him. Palace goes to his car and calls the discovery in, and finds Houdini has joined him in the car. The two look at one another, Palace says “ok”, and he drives off with the dog.

 

Back at the office, Houdini has curled up for a nap by Palace’s feet as he spitballs theories with McGully, who thinks it’s still as simple as Zell got hooked, Zell quit, Zell eventually got too depressed, so Zell ended it. Palace floats a couple ideas that McGully pokes holes in. At that point, Palace gets a phonecall on the landline. It’s Naomi, she wants to meet, as she has thought of something that might help him.

 

We cut to Palace pulling up that evening in front of Naomi’s house, and she comes out in a nice dress and climbs in. Palace asks her what her thought was, and she teases him and playfully suggests they have dinner first. She also asks him about his eye and looks relieved when he says he’ll be fine.

 

At dinner the two sit a little awkwardly, until Palace tries to bring up what she wanted to tell him. Naomi sighs and says that was only part of it, the other part was that she wants to have an actual, normal conversation with someone, that has nothing to do with Zell, or the asteroid, or anything, and Palace was the only person she could think of. She asks Palace to just talk with her for an hour first, and then they can talk about the case. Looking intently at her, he agrees.

 

They eat dinner and talk about their backgrounds, Naomi wanting to be a poet and going to NYC for her bachelor’s and master’s degree, but all of that being interrupted by “other things.” She adds that she’s also not that great at it. Palace talks about his parents being murdered when he was twelve, and they never found who did it, so that basically stuck him on wanting to be a policeman. Naomi takes a hand of his in sympathy, and adds for a little mood-lightening that it sounds like he wanted to be like Batman. Palace laughs and says not that inaccurate. The two talk for some more, laugh, smile, and then the hour is well past and they leave the restaurant.

 

They wind up back at Palace’s place, Palace apologizing for the lack of real furniture as he gets a wine bottle and two glasses. As they sit on the floor, Houdini laying down watching them from a distance, Naomi says that Zell’s insurance company is one of the few nationwide that hasn’t gone bust and is committed to making payouts, but also to enforcing contestability clauses, which allow the company to investigate deaths if they occur within two years of making the policy. Since the company does not issue new policies, Gompers had everyone at the branch focused on investigating deaths under existing ones. She thinks that maybe one of the files Zell was looking into around the time he died might have something. Palace nods and says maybe, and says he’ll need access to those files. The conversation then turns to more personal, as the two move closer to one another, and soon Naomi pulls Palace in and they kiss. They get up, still kissing, and Naomi suggests they head to the bedroom. Palace agrees and they head that way, kissing all the while, and Houdini goes to follow them, but the door closes on his face right as he gets there, and he lays down looking at the door.

 

We cut to the aftermath, Palace and Naomi laying under a blanket on his mattress, and Palace asks Naomi what poetry she wanted to write. Naomi says ‘Villanelles” and explains what they are. He asks for her an example and she says she’s only working on one, and she just wants to get it perfect before October. “I’ll tell you then” she says with a smile. They kiss again, and the Naomi gets up to get dressed. After she does and goes to the door, she pauses and says “Henry, there’s one more thing…” When Palace asks what it is, she pauses, then shakes her head and says it was probably nothing. Then she leaves.

 

That morning, Palace is woken by a phone call. It is Fenton, and she is not happy. She asks Palace if he knows the penalty for impersonating a state official, and she quotes him the statute, which would ensure he is in jail for essentially forever. She tells him to be at the morgue in 20 minutes, or he gets arrested.

 

Palace races to dress and speeds in his car, and arrives breathless in the mortuary, where Fenton is waiting coldly. She looks at her watch and says “just under nineteen minutes.” Palace stumbles over his words, until he finally gets out “I’m sorry.”

 

Fenton looks at him with scrutiny, and then her face briefly softens. “Me too.”

 

“What?”

“You’re not going to hear it a second time, come with me.”

 

She leads Palace over to where Zell’s body is laid out. She picks up from an adjacent cart a sheet of paper. “Zell’s toxicology report. It has caused me to revise my assessment.” When Palace asks how, she replies “he was murdered.” Palace looks stunned, and then whispers, “god dammit, I knew it.” He puts his hands by his temples like he has a migraine.

 

Fenton summarizes the report. It found a lot of alcohol in his stomach and his blood, which Palace knew. She then adds that there was a controlled substance in his blood. Palace expects morphine, but Fenton smirks and says no. “It was GHB.” She then turns over Zell’s body and points to a bruise on the ankle. “Once the GHB showed up, I re-examined the body and the bruise is consistent with being dragged by the ankle, and then dumped somewhere, like the trunk of a car.” Palace, breathing fast, says that what happened then was Zell got drugged, dragged to a car, driven to the McDonalds, and was hung there while unconscious. Fenton says that’s most likely. Palace profusely thanks her, and Fenton, eyebrow raised, says “Don’t thank me until you’ve solved the thing. Otherwise your stunt was for nothing.”

 

On his way back to the car, Palace gets a call on his cell. It is Nico. In the background of the call is a loud roaring sound, like a car speeding.

 

NICO: “Hank, I need you to listen to me”

PALACE: “Geez Nico where are you, a highway?”

NICO: “HANK! LISTEN”

*sirens are heard over the call*
PALACE: “Nico…where are you?”

NICO: “I am not leaving you behind.”

*the sound of a car screeching to a halt, a door slams, sound of running*

PALACE: “Nico!”

NICO: “I will come back for you. I will not leave you behind.”

 

The call hangs up.

 

Palace wastes no time and gets in his car and speeds as fast as it can go. He tries calling Nico, no response. He tries Allison, no response. His car screeches to a halt in front of the National Guard station where Derek was and he rushes to ask the guard questions. The guard simply says “There are no prisoners here, sir.” Palace insists there was,, and the guard, again, more sternly, says there are no prisoners here. Multiple other guards start walking over, hands on their sidearms. Palace looks at them, looks at the guard, and says “ok, I’m leaving, and walks off.”

 

Palace is back in his car when his phone rings. He answers it immediately and says “Nico?!” but it is Culverson. Culverson asks if everything is okay, and Palace says that his sister has him worried. Culverson says he hopes that works out, and then says “Your investigation included a woman named Naomi Eddes right?”

 

Palace freezes. “Yeah…why?

“McConnell found her, inside the insurance office she worked at.”

Palace looks like he’s been shot. “What do you mean McConnell found her?”

“She’s dead, Hank. Do you want to come to the scene?”

 

Fade to black.

 

The film goes to the insurance offices where Zell and Naomi worked, now cordoned off with police tape. Palace stands in the corner of a room, watching Culverson investigate the scene. Naomi’s body is slumped in the corner of a filing room, cabinets in a row in the back, a gunshot wound on her forehead. As Palace watches, McConnell, who is present, taking notes, can see he looks a bit distraught and asks Palace if he is ok. Palace whispers “No.”

 

Culverson from his observations reenacts the scene, saying aloud his thoughts. Victim was kneeling on the floor by the cabinet, maybe going through a drawer. Killer enters, she turns, backs up towards the wall, gunshot. McConnell, who has gone to the cabinets to look through, says one drawer is completely empty. Culverson nods and tells McConnell to start interviewing everyone in the building, except Gompers. Culverson will do that himself. Culverson asks Palace if he wants to tag along and Palace, who we can see to be looking sick and pale, shakes his head. He tells Culverson to ask Gompers about the missing files, Culverson says he will, then McConnell, examining the wall, finds the embedded bullet and Palace can’t take it anymore and quickly leaves, stumbling down the stairs until he gets to a side exit and outside, where he promptly vomits. Taking deep breaths, he backs up against the side of the building, distraught.

 

The film cuts to Palace at the local diner he frequents, sadly drinking a cup of coffee. Culverson enters and sits down and asks Palace if he is okay. Palace half-lies, saying he thinks Nico may have gotten into trouble and seeing Naomi Eddes dead made him think of the worst. Culverson asks Palace if he wants to talk about that, or go straight to the case. Palace says the case. Culverson goes over what he and McConnell learned. No one saw anything, security cameras only cover half the building, and half of those don’t work. Gompers was drunk in his office, sleeping it off, when he heard a gunshot. After hiding, he looked around and found Naomi’s body. He didn’t see anything. Palace asks Culverson if he believes that and Culverson nods, Gompers was still drunk this morning. As for the empty drawer, Gompers told Culverson there were about three dozen files, all shipped out, no backups or copies. Palace nods and Culverson says he looks like shit. “Take the rest of the day Palace, you look like you need it.” Culverson gets up, pats Palace on the shoulder, and walks out of the diner. Palace sulks in the diner.

 

Palace goes back to the station and goes to his desk, but there is no dial tone when he picks up the phone. He goes over to Culverson’s desk, same thing. Everything else in the office looks the same, just no phone service. McGully wanders in and tells Palace that something is fucked. Perhaps for the first time, McGully looks dead serious, and says that a couple of the bigwigs looked like ghosts when he came in. “Now the chief and other bigshots are in some secret meeting with the fucking Men in Black or something” saying that several people in suits and sunglasses came in right after he did. Palace nods, mind somewhere else, and then gets up and leaves the station.

 

He returns to the hospital, as if on the hunt, searching for something, and then he freezes, finding himself in front of the entrance to the hospital chapel. Only the doors are barred by a heavy padlock. Palace looks at this, and something clicks.

 

Palace is told Toussaint that Zell was obtaining drugs for personal use, Toussaint selling the rest, until Zell stopped in the end of October.

 

Naomi, Sophia, Erik, all giving the same song and dance about Zell being depressed.

 

Palace finding the treasure trove of drugs and money under Toussaint’s doghouse, some five-plus months later.

 

Naomi telling Palace that she felt obligated, compelled to help Zell, since he had no one else.

 

Palace being treated at the hospital for his injuries, being told there is a shortage of painkillers.

 

Palace meeting Erik Littlejohn, learning he is the chaplain for the hospital. Sophia telling Palace she had prescription privileges and Zell stole her pad.

 

Naomi kissing Palace before getting dressed, and saying there was one more thing, before leaving without finishing the thought.

 

Palace, staring at the padlocked door, has the look of someone who has finally put the pieces together. He rushes down to the morgue and asks a visibly annoyed Fenton how long she needs to run a drug test on Naomi’s body. Fenton says with the lab as it is, probably a few weeks at best. Palace asks her if she could have it done by tomorrow morning. Fenton stares at Palace and asks him why he’s trying so hard to solve this murder. Palace looks back at her and says “because I have to.” Fenton nods and says she can get it done, so long as Palace promises never to ask her for anything else again, ever. Palace nods and turns to leave, and then pauses, looks back, and says “Okay, there’s one more thing.”

 

We cut to Palace in his car on his cell phone. He reaches McConnell, who wants to know what the suits are doing at the station. Palace says no clue, but it has McGully spooked. He then says this is going to be a weird question, but does she have any clothes that don’t have pants. McConnell is confused, but Palace says to meet Fenton at the hospital tomorrow morning with them. He then uses the CB radio in the car to reach Culverson, to tell him he’s solved the cases, both of them. Culverson sounds pleased, and asks Palace if he plans to come back to the station today. When Palace says no Culverson replies “good, don’t.”

 

Palace dreams memories of his parents’ funeral, him and Nico being shuttled off to a grandparent’s house to live with. The grandfather dotes on Palace, including him in all sorts of activities, and mostly ignoring Nico. Palace tries to spend time with his little sister, but there always seems to be a space between them.

 

Naomi once again rises from his mattress, hesitating with a thought on her mind, before discarding it and leaving.

 

That morning, Palace is called by Fenton, who confirms what Palace seems to have suspected: morphine in Naomi’s blood. Fenton asks how he knew and Palace says Naomi had told him she felt obligated to help Zell, who was using, even though she barely knew him, and the only way it made sense was that she was a recovering addict herself. “And she eventually slipped, and only two people knew about it, Toussaint, her dealer, and the guy who Toussaint turned to for supply after Zell quit last fall. That’s our guy.” He thanks Fenton and says he owes her dinner for all of this. Fenton laughs and says to make it a steak dinner, around Christmas.

 

Palace arrives at the hospital and makes his way to the morgue, slipping in quietly. Already there are Fenton, McConnell, who is supposed to look bereaved but looking a little irritated about being in a blouse and skirt and her hair down instead of in a ponytail, and the person the scene was set for: Erik Littlejohn. Fenton and McConnell put on an act about McConnell being a widow and wanting the hospital chaplain present before seeing the body. Erik nods and asks where the body is. Fenton, looking like she is savoring the moment, says that the body is in the chapel. Erik flinches, and then says “you must be mistaken, the chapel is out of service and locked.” At this point Palace exits the shadows, sidearm pointed at Erik, and says “Luckily you have a key.” Erik turns, stammers, stutters, and then goes quiet with the look of someone defeated. He tries to say something, but Palace cuts him off and says “just say why.”

 

Erik says that after Sophia found out Zell stole her prescription pad, he approached Toussaint and said he had the position in the hospital to continue obtaining the drugs with no one suspecting. Only Zell found out, being at Toussaint’s by chance one night when Erik was delivering the latest supply. “And once Zell tried calling Sophia multiple times, and her not answering, you decided he had to die, because otherwise it was just a matter of time before she picked the phone up” Palace says, and Erik nods.

 

The night Zell died, after he left Toussaint, Erik intercepts him, tells him they need to make amends, Erik slips the GHB into Zell’s drink, and then once Zell is out, takes him to the McDonald’s and hangs him.

 

We cut to McConnell putting Erik into handcuffs as Palace takes Erik’s key and opens up the chapel. Inside it is stacked to the brim with boxes bought with the proceeds of the drug sales. Boxes of canned food. Boxes of bottled water. And boxes and boxes of guns and ammunition. A supply nest for what is coming.

 

We then cut to Palace and McConnell in Palace’s car, Erik handcuffed in the backseat. As they drive, Palace says the insurance fraud stuff Naomi talked about was Erik ordering her to make a smokescreen. Erik says Naomi needed her supply, so he told her that if she wanted to keep it coming, to do what he said. Except he waited in the building for her to come to the office, he forced her at gunpoint to the filing cabinet, and then shot her, and made it look like she was looking for files, and stole the files for good measure. During all of this Palace gets more and more angry, and his grip on the steering wheel tightens and shakes, until McConnell puts a sympathetic hand on his. Erik says he had to do it; Naomi was going to tell Palace eventually. He had to kill her.

 

“No one has to kill anyone, Erik.”

“Soon they will.”

 

Cut to Palace’s car arriving at the station. Palace and McConnell get out, and McConnell wraps Palace in a hug and says “I’m sorry”, Palace receiving it a little awkwardly. They pull apart and Palace asks McConnell if she can take Erik in the rest of the way. McConnell nods and pulls Erik out of the backseat and marches him towards a side entrance to the station, briefly looking back at Palace before disappearing from view. Palace leans against the side of his car, takes a long sigh, and then enters the station via a different way.

 

He arrives at the detectives’ offices to find McGully sitting on the floor, back against the wall, Culverson doing the same on the opposite side, and everything else in the offices being completely gone. No phones, desks, cabinets, nothing. McGully looks at Palace and tells him “told you something was fucked up.” Culverson shakes his head and simply says “they know.”

 

The police chief comes in, looking exhausted, carrying under one arm a thick binder with a Justice Department logo. He tells the three that the Concord Police Department has been federalized. The Department will keep all of its patrol officers, under Justice Department jurisdiction, but all investigative units are being shut down. “The sole priority is now keeping order, for the next six months.” The chief says he’s sorry, and leaves. The room is silent for a moment, until Culverson again repeats “they know. They know where it’s going to land.”

 

The camera holds the shot of the three detectives in the empty room, quiet and morose, before fading to black.

 

The film then cuts to a few weeks later, Palace, Culverson, and McGully in a bar, watching the news with other people waiting raptly for the big reveal of where Maia is going to hit. We learn that all three accepted early retirement rather than stay on as patrol officers. Then the breaking news report comes to say where Maia will land: The answer: the Gulf of Boni, in the Indonesian Archipelago. The bar, and indeed all of Concord spontaneously erupts in celebration at the news that an asteroid the size of Manhattan won’t be landing anywhere near them. Palace, Culverson, and McGully have a couple more drinks as the city-wide party spills out into the streets, with gunshots in the air, fireworks being set off, the first time people seem genuinely enthusiastic the entire film. Eventually Palace takes his leave and walks home.

 

When Palace gets to his house, he freezes, and we see sitting on the porch waiting for him is Nico, scratching Houdini next to her. There’s no words and then Palace rushes up to her and wraps her in a hug. “You’re an asshole” he tells her, and she laughs and says she is sorry. The two sit down and Palace says “You played me, the whole time. You knew exactly what was going on.” Nico, lighting a cigarette, nods and says she needed her brother to confirm whether or not the place Derek was trespassing was what they were looking for. “If it was, he would have been dead before you saw him.”

 

Palace demands a better explanation than that and Nico says that somewhere in the country is a construction project, a secret one, and she and a bunch of other people are trying to find it. Palace groans and says “You don’t actually believe it’s a shuttle to take the rich and powerful to a Moon base?” Nico shakes her head, but adds “well, some of us do.” She says that Derek was one of those saps, which made him untrustworthy for knowing anything important, but ideal for trespassing since he couldn’t give anything up. Palace asks Nico if she knew what she was sending Derek into, and Nico replies “I knew before I married him.”

 

Palace says “Well, I hope it was worth it” and angrily gets up to go inside. Nico stands as he walks away and says, a little desperately “wait…don’t you want to know what we’re looking for?”

 

“No thanks.”

“Because it is worth it.”

 

Palace stops at the front door, still looking away. He opens the door and Houdini goes inside.

 

“You have to trust me Henry. It is worth it.”

 

Palace turns back to face his sister, who says “it’s hope.”

 

“Oh. Hope. Okay then.”

 

Palace turns away again and goes inside, closing the door behind him.

 

Monday, April 19, 2018

 

Right Ascension: 19 27 43.9

Declination: 35 32 16

Elongation: 92.4

 

Distance From Earth: 2.705 AU

 

 

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Mass Effect: Ascension

 

Genre: Sci-Fi

Starring: Mackenzie Davis (Lt. Commander Shepard), Blair Underwood (Captain Anderson), Sean Teale (Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko), Rob McElhenney (Lieutenant Jeff “Joker” Moreau), Rosamund Pike (Dr. Kahlee Sanders), Corey Stoll (Paul Grayson), Gemma Chan (Dr. Eva Coré), Toby Kebbell (mo-cap) (Garrus Vakarian), with Mandy Patinkin (Admiral Hackett), and Jake Gyllenhaal (Armistan Banes)

 

Co-Starring: Essie Davis (Dr. Karen Chakwas), Charles Dance (Admiral Jon Grissom), Isabela Moner (Gillian Grayson), Kiernan Shipka (Zero), Tadanobu Asano (Admiral Kahoku), Clark Gregg (Ambassador Udina), Matthew Modine (mo-cap) (Executor Pallin)

 

Directed By: Jack Bender

Written By: Drew Goddard

Original Music By: John Powell

Release Date: May 6, Year 6

Theater Count: 4227 Theaters

Running Time: 150 Minutes

Budget: $175 Million

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence, language, some disturbing images, sensuality, some drug use and references, and partial nudity

 

Previous Film's Gross: MASS EFFECT (YEAR 4) $90,396,879 OW/$250,151,794 DOM/$648,790,127 WW

 

Plot Summary: 

 

Setting: One year after the events of Mass Effect

 

Google Docs Option If You Prefer: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bKbrlBKNTIlOChEcsfOw5bAzB8nBknH-8gQSL7584IE/edit?usp=sharing

 

Spoiler

 

After the opening logos, the film opens in the dark of space, the camera slowly panning up in the stars until we see the Normandy, cruising at top speed. Inside, in the cockpit, we see the ship’s pilot, Jeff “Joker” Moreau (McElhenny) at the controls. Standing a couple feet behind him, calm but determined, is the ship’s commander, Captain Anderson (Blair Underwood).

 

ANDERSON: How much longer, Joker?

JOKER: Just a few minutes. Had to burn some extra fuel to get us here ASAP, so you’re gonna need to pay at the gas station on the way out.

ANDERSON: Just get us there, Command can pick up the tab.

JOKER: You’d think they’d have had some ships in orbit around, you know.

 

There’s just silence as the camera pans up from behind Joker to look out the cockpit and we see, hanging in space, the twin orbs of the Earth and the Moon.

 

The crew is busy at work. We learn that a top-secret research facility has sent out a distress call, and the Normandy was the military ship in the Solar System able to respond the fastest.

 

The Normandy gets into orbit over the Moon and Joker, scanning the area around the facility, says that anti-air defenses have been activated. Any shuttle dropping to the landing pad will get filleted by the defenses. Anderson says that they’ll drop the new toy then and uses the intercom and says “Squad ready Shep?”

 

We cut to the cramped interior of some vehicle. Inside we see a squad of Marines, Kaidan Alenko (Teale), the head of the Normandy’s marine complement, Dr. Kahlee Sanders (Pike), the ship’s science officer, and Shepard (Davis), the Normandy’s executive officer (XO), her hair grown out a little longer from the previous film, and presently pulled behind her in a ponytail.

 

SHEPARD: We’re set Captain. Would have appreciated a chance to field test this bucket first.

ANDERSON: Well I know how much you appreciate a challenge.

JOKER: Yeah, we’ll get to see if the thrusters built by the lowest bidder can slow this thing from plowing into the rock at terminal velocity

SHEPARD: You sure know how to lighten the mood, Joker.

JOKER: They don’t just pay me for flying the ship you know.

KAIDAN: No, that’s exactly what they pay you for.

SANDERS: If the specs are correct, the armor on this vehicle is strong enough to withstand a crash landing. But as someone who’s worked with civilian contractors, they like to fudge the numbers a bit, so it’s possible the armor plating is a thinner than advertised.

 

Dead silence as everyone inside the compartment stares at Sanders. “Definitely not what I want on my mind right now” Shepard says with groan.

 

A buzzer sounds as the Normandy gets over the drop zone and Anderson orders the launch.

 

We get a shot looking up at the underside of the Normandy as a cargo bay door opens, and suddenly a six-wheeled armored vehicle plummets down towards the lunar surface. Fans of the series will recognize it as the Mako. The Mako falls like a cement brick but as it nears the surface thrusters activate and slow its descent to a soft thud. The Mako sets out towards the facility.

 

As they’re enroute, Joker says sensor readings show that ground defenses are active. He’s also picking up a second signal. The signal is garbled, but we can make out “-systems gone rogue…sentries targeting humans on sight…intelligence unstable”. Shepard asks over comms what this facility was studying and Anderson says it’s classified. Sanders says that based on the snippets, it sounds like some sort of Virtual Intelligence (VI) research. “AI are banned, but VI’s are theoretically safer…. but I guess this one glitched.” Kaidan says it’s nice to know they might have a killer computer waiting for them.

 

JOKER *up in the cockpit*: You know, this is #3 on my list of things I did not want to encounter when I signed up for the Navy. Skynet.

KAIDAN: Wait, you have an actual list?

SHEPARD: Do I even want to know what is #1?

JOKER: Well funny story, because-

ANDERSON: Let’s stay focused.

 

The Mako gets closer to the facility, and attracts weapons fire from exterior defenses. The armor holds up but Shepard has the driver do evasive maneuvers. The Mako turns slowly, except when it suddenly jerks around with whiplash. “Yeah, they definitely needed to field test this more” Shepard says. She orders the squad to exit the Mako and continue on foot while the driver and gunner of the Mako draw the defenses’ gunfire. Everyone puts on their helmets and exits the Mako. The Mako causes its distraction while Shepard leads everyone else on foot.

 

Inside the facility, Shepard and the squad sweep through it corridor by corridor, looking for survivors. Along the way they come across a few robotic sentries but easily dispose of them. Sanders says over helmet communicators that they need to get to the central core to shut the systems down, but she might be able to learn some information from a remote terminal. They find such a terminal and Sanders hooks up and starts sending data to the Normandy.

 

With that data package now sending, the squad continues its sweep of the facility, getting into a couple more brief shootouts that result in a couple more sentry robots turned to scrap metal. Shepard, Kaidan, and Sanders banter a little as they cautiously advance, but there is an ominous air with the background sound effects and music.

 

In the Normandy, Joker is analyzing the data Sanders has sent when something gets him concerned. Anderson asks what it is and Joker says that the station logs say that the Horatio Nelson docked with the station shortly before the distress call emanated, “but the Nelson was docked next to us at Mars”. Anderson immediately informs Shepard that some ship docked with the facility under false pretenses right before things went to hell, and its people may still be here.

 

They hear some banging from behind a sealed door and open it to find a few people crammed inside, a couple injured. The survivors say the people who came on the ship immediately took over, like they knew what they were looking for. They triggered the VI to attack anyone not them with the station defenses and tossed survivors into sealed rooms. They don’t know much else other than that some “woman” and her “bodyguard” appeared to be calling the shots.

 

As Shepard and the squad get near to the computer core, they are confronted by a handful of sentry robots as well as a couple lifeforms in armored spacesuits. A hectic firefight breaks out.

 

The film cuts to inside the computer core, where two more unknown figures in armored spacesuits are by the main computer system, one of them inputting figures onto a screen.

 

MAN: They arrived a little faster than anticipated. You have it?

WOMAN *typing*: Almost. Your men can hold them off?

MAN: They’re good enough for that.

 

We briefly cut back to the gunfight to see that half of the enemies have fallen, but a couple of the Marines have been wounded.

 

Back in the computer core, the woman finishes typing and a small data module pops out of a socket. “Got it” the woman says. They exit out the side.

 

Kaidan puts an end to the gunfight by summoning his biotic powers to slam a wave of energy that shatters the robots, and slams the remaining lifeform into a wall. Shepard and Kaidan run up to him while Sanders rushes into the computer core, only a few seconds later to pop her head out and say that someone has taken the VI data module. Shepard takes off down the side corridor while Kaidan gets the helmet off the surviving lifeform and we see it is a human. Kaidan tries to rouse him, but the human man, seeing Kaidan above him, whispers “humanity first” and bites down on something, and jerks as he foams at the mouth, and dies.

 

We cut to Shepard racing down a corridor, the few robot sentries in her path getting taken out easily with some show-off gunplay. She gets into an interior hangar bay and sees a few people boarding a heavy assault craft. Pointing her gun at them, she orders them to stop. One of the figures waves the others to continue boarding, and then turns around to face Shepard. The figure takes off his helmet, to reveal Armistan Banes (Gyllenhaal), presumed dead after the events of the first film. Shepard, in shock, hesitates. Banes smiles at her and backs up as the landing ramp raises with him, and the ship jets out into space.

 

On the Normandy, Joker picks up the launch on sensors and Anderson asks if they can intercept but Joker says the Normandy doesn’t have the fuel for a sustained pursuit.

 

On the craft, Banes chuckles as the woman from the computer core takes off her helmet. Banes asks “Dr. Coré” if she got what she came for. Eva Coré (Chan) replies that she has. Banes says that’s good, “because now it’s time for your people to back my play.”

 

Back in the facility, Kaidan and Sanders arrive in the hangar to find Shepard still in shock. Kaidan asks Shepard if she is ok, she looks like she saw a ghost. Shepard replies that in fact she has. Her dialogue trails off as she stares out of the hangar exit, the camera pulling back from the three out of the hangar into space as the screen fades to black and we get the title card:

 

MASS EFFECT: ASCENSION

 

The film cuts to the Normandy flying towards Arcturus Station, the command center for the Systems Alliance military. We get a short scene with Kaidan sitting up front with Joker and talking about the mission to Luna. We learn that Anderson has asked them to give Shepard some space, given Banes’ survival. “Man screw that guy” Joker says, “he’s a bad penny, if they still made them.” Kaidan says he is concerned about Shep, since he knows she is going to want to make a run at him.

 

The scene shifts to Shepard in her quarters. She is sitting on her bed, and we see there are a few mostly empty bottles scattered around, and she looks like she hasn’t slept much. We see her looking at a small holographic picture of a younger her and Banes. She stares at it for a moment, and then hurls it across the room in anger.

 

We cut to a briefing inside the station, where Anderson, Shepard, Kaidan, and Sanders meet with Admiral Hackett (Patinkin). Hackett tells them that the lunar facility was used to develop and test experimental VI. The one that was stolen was developed to strategically analyze other Alliance research projects to determine project vulnerabilities, undiscovered strengths, etc. “Basically to find what the people running the show were missing”. The conversation turns to the attackers and Hackett says they’re all former military. He says that over the past year, Alliance military has learned of a paramilitary organization called Cerberus, which combines criminal action with science research to push a pro-human agenda. Anderson asks if it is an offshoot of Terra Firma (the human terrorists in the first film) and Hackett says no, it is far better organized and funded. “We only just noticed them this year, so I bet they’ve been around for some time. They’re just starting to make bolder moves now.” Hackett says he suspects part of that may be due to their apparent recruit, and a picture of Banes pops onto a viewscreen.

 

Shepard perks up and says then they need to hunt him down and find out what he knows. Whatever this Cerberus is doing, the fact that Banes is involved means it is going to get bloody. Hackett intercedes

 

HACKETT: Commander, I understand your personal feelings, but we have to focus on the big picture and not get blinded by our own agendas-

SHEPARD: With all due respect Admiral, the last thing Banes did was attempt to let an asteroid wipe out millions so he could start a war with the Batarians. Whatever he is doing with them, a lot of people are going to die unless we stop him.

 

Before the argument can get heated, Hackett breaks it off and tells Shepard she is excused. Shepard glares at Hackett, and then storms out of the room. After she does, Kaidan defends her, saying that she just learned that an old friend she thought she killed is back from the grave. “It’d wear on anyone.” Hackett brushes it off. He says the Normandy will take point in running down any leads from the Luna attack. Sanders pipes up to say that she is combing through the data retrieved from the outpost. Hackett asks Anderson to stay behind for a few minutes. As Kaidan leaves, Anderson tells him to get Joker. “You know how I told you to give Shepard space? Cancel that.”

 

It’s now just Anderson and Hackett, and Hackett tells Anderson that this Cerberus business is a black hole of bad news. “It’s been around for years, we know now, and they seem to have a lot of access to ex-military personnel, rogue scientists, and funding. So, they have benefactors.” Anderson asks if Hackett suspects current Alliance officers are involved. Hackett shrugs and says it would make sense, given their ability to strike Luna.

 

We cut to Shepard, sitting at the bar in an officer’s lounge on the station, having a healthy-sized drink. We see her glancing at a human woman in civilian dress, sitting alone at a table. The woman notices and smiles, Shepard smiles back. At that point, Kaidan and Joker show up and sit on either side of Shepard, order drinks, and try to chat her up. Joker tries to lighten the mood with some humor and she tells him it’s not his best material. Joker throws up his hands and says he’ll find a better audience then and limps away. Kaidan stays and tries to get Shepard to open up, saying that bottling shit up isn’t going to help. Shepard, who has gotten another drink, says she just needs time. Kaidan says when she’s ready, there’s no shortage of people on the Normandy. He and Shepard clink drinks and he leaves.

 

Shepard, alone again, goes back to making eye contact with the woman, and the woman gives her a come over nod. Shepard smiles, downs her drink in one gulp, and walks over.

 

The film cuts to an outpost burrowed in an asteroid. Banes and Dr. Coré are talking about the mission to Luna. Banes is curious what Coré’s people plan to do with the VI and she teasingly says it’s above his pay grade. Coré gets an alert that it is time to talk to the Boss and asks Banes to join her. Banes wonders when he’ll meet this Boss in person and Coré says that will be rare, if ever. She has only met him in person twice. The two activate an audio device and listen to a distorted voice. The Boss congratulates them on Luna. The Boss tells Banes that “you have proven your capabilities these past several months. I know you have had an operation in mind, and I am willing to let you put it in motion.” Banes says everyone in the room has the same goal: elevate humanity. He says that he wants to send a message to the Council that will shatter their control. Banes says he will need access to Cerberus’ interests in the Ascension Project. There is a pause, and then the Boss says “Tell me more.”

 

We cut to afterwards, with Banes and Coré alone. Coré jokes that Banes must like her company, since he knows she is the scientist with oversight of Cerberus’ interests in the Ascension Project. Banes, matter of fact, says that he knows Coré’s experience in biotic and psychological manipulation will come in handy. He asks her to reach out to her contact in the Project.

 

Shepard wakes up in someone else’s quarters, the woman from before laying across her, both naked and under a bedsheet. She tousles the other woman’s hair gently and the woman wakes up, groggy. The two exchange some pillow talk and then engage in some foreplay with strategic camera angles and bedsheet placement that is about to escalate when Shepard’s communicator dings. “Duty awaits” Shepard says, kissing the woman and then rolling out of bed.

 

Cut to Shepard returning to the Normandy, feeling a hangover. Before Shep can even get to her quarters she is summoned to the Normandy briefing room, where Anderson, Kaidan, and Sanders are waiting. Sanders says she has finished her preliminary analysis, and the VI was focused on analyzing shipping patterns of element zero. It seems that there are subtle discrepancies that emanate from one station in particular Anderson says it is a slim lead. The meeting breaks up and Anderson asks Shepard to stay behind.

 

Anderson tells all of them want to get Banes as badly as she does. “But you can’t make it personal, Shep.” Shepard replies that it is pretty damn hard not to. Anderson says he gets it, but tells her to stay focused, so he doesn’t have to bench her.

 

The Normandy sets out. We get a scene with Shepard having some girl time with Sanders and Dr. Chakwas (Davis). Sanders and Chakwas coax Shepard into sharing some details of her one-night stand. Chakwas then flips the conversation back at Sanders, saying that Sanders and the Captain seem to be good friends and Sanders shuts that down, saying that even if there was something, and there isn’t, the Captain is a gentleman and he won’t “fraternize” with the crew.

 

The film shifts to a massive space station complex in the middle of nowhere. It is the Ascension Project. We get several establishing shots with the camera of the station exterior, and then into the interior, and we see that aside from soldiers and scientists, there are dozens and dozens, even hundreds, of children and young adults ranging from six to twenty. The camera winds up at an office belonging to Paul Grayson (Stoll), a senior researcher there. He speaks to a hologram of Admiral Grissom (Dance), the commander of the Ascension Project. From the conversation the audience learns that the Ascension Project is a combination of a research center, school, and training hub, designed to maximize humanity’s understanding of biotic potential. Grissom is determined to wring every inch possible out of the resources at the Project, and Grayson says he makes sure his students know of the admiral’s expectations. The conversation ends and Grissom’s hologram disappears. At that point a computer announces Grayson has a visitor, Dr. Coré.

 

Grayson immediately activates anti-spy equipment to shield the conversation. He demands to know what she is doing here, their arrangement is not to meet in person unless absolutely necessary. “And this is such an occasion” Coré says. She says that their mutual benefactor wants to utilize the assets the Ascension Project has at its disposal, and she understands he has some very lucrative assets. Grayson nods, and Coré asks him to show her.

 

Grayson takes Coré on a tour of his wing of the Project, which culminates in them in an observation chamber overlooking a class of students in the 16-19 range. We see the students are practicing using biotic capabilities to telekinetically move and manipulate objects. Included in the class are two teenage girls, Gillian (Moner), and another with short blonde hair (Shipka). Grayson tells Coré that this group has highest amount of biotic potential. Coré asks if Grayson has “seeded” the Project as their organization had wanted, and Grayson says that he arranged for the connections. “I certainly believe some of my students have taken part”, gesturing to a few, including the blonde. “We cultivate a sense of demanding expectations here, and they seek it out because they’re afraid they can’t meet them.” Coré is pleased and asks Grayson to forward her all the data on this class, in particular the students he indicated.

 

After Grayson and Coré leave the chamber we stay with the biotics class, and see them put through demanding challenges to utilize their abilities under pressure. Most of the class is not up to par, though we see Gillian is very calm and composed, making up for middling biotics with her poise. The blonde teen on the other hand is very powerful, but it is raw and unfocused, and a biotic backlash sends her flying backwards into a wall. A bunch of students laugh at her and say “Zero’s at it again.” “Zero” gets to her feet and glares at those students, until Gillian comes over and tells them to back off. “Don’t see any of you doing much better” she says. The bullies wander off, though one of them says Gillian’s only here because “daddy” wanted her to be. This leaves Gillian and Zero alone and Gillian asks Zero if she is ok. Zero says it’s no different than any other day. Gillian asks Zero why she lets them call her that, referring to “Zero”. Zero shrugs and says that it’s not inaccurate. She has no parents, no family, no friends, nothing. Gillian says that doesn’t have to be true. Zero says Gillian is just being nice because that’s what her dad wants her to be. Gillian says her dad doesn’t mind control her. “Whatever, see you around” Zero says, and leaves the classroom.

 

We follow Zero back to her small quarters. She sits on her bed, pulls out a shoebox from under it, and from the shoebox a small vial. She pours from it onto the back of her other hand a small amount of reddish-brown powder, and the camera angle shifts around to hide her snorting it.

 

We then see Gillian reach her own quarters, which are part of a suite. Waiting for her is Grayson, and he asks how class went today. “It went fine Dad” Gillian replies. Grayson asks if everything is ok. Gillian says she’s fine, but some of the students are assholes. Grayson asks for their names and Gillian says she doesn’t want to get anyone in trouble, she just wants to help one of the other student. Grayson asks Gillian to tell him about it and when Gillian is reluctant he says “this is not a teacher-student talk, this is father-daughter. It stays in the room.” Gillian nods and says ok.

 

The Normandy arrives at the mining station Sanders had identified. Anderson says he, Sanders, and Shepard will go onto the station. Kaidan will stay behind in command of the Normandy, and Anderson tells Kaidan to snoop around see if anything looks off.

 

Anderson, Shepard, and Sanders arrive on the mining station via shuttle, and meet with the facility director to inquire about some of the log discrepancies. It seems that the station is generating slightly more element zero than what actually ships out. A rounding error, but it adds up over time. The facility director explains it as just being some bad batches, as well as them using some eezo as cheap fuel. Sanders asks for permission to review the on-site records, just to confirm. The facility director shrugs and tells her to be his guest. Anderson, Sanders, and Shepard go to the records room. Anderson and Shepard think this will be a dead-end, but Sanders says actually the director confirmed something nefarious is going on. Sanders says the director did not expect an element zero energy expert to be in the group. She says you can’t use pure, unrefined element zero as fuel, you’re as likely to blow yourself up as power the station. “So they’re using it for something else.” After some record searching, Sanders says it looks like there is an abandoned section of the station. Anderson asks Shepard to check it out.

 

We see the facility director go to a communication console and punch in some commands, contacting someone via text. A handful of seconds later an encoded text message appears, which after being de-scrambled says “Eliminate them. No Witnesses.”

 

Sanders continues plowing through the records. We see the Normandy entering deeper into the asteroid field, looking at mining drones with sensors. Shepard makes her way to the abandoned section of the station, and forces open a door to enter, and sees that the abandoned section is actually active, with a small team at work with vats of element zero being refined and manipulated. The people there see her, and a couple guards draw weapons. “We have a problem” Shepard says into a communicator, and ducks just as the guards open fire.

 

At that point in the asteroid field several mining drones activate and assault the Normandy, briefly taking it by surprise before Joker’s flight instincts kick in and he takes the ship into evasive maneuvers while the defensive cannons target the drones. As the drones get picked off, we see hiding behind one asteroid a couple very advanced looking gunboats.

 

On the station, Anderson gets Shepard’s warning and draws his pistol just as a couple guards enter the records room to attack him and Sanders. Sanders dives for cover and Anderson takes out both guards, but is hit in the upper left arm. He grunts in pain and then goes to try and barricade the door.

 

Shepard is in a firefight with four guards, the technicians scattering and hiding. Shepard takes out two of the guards quickly with her sidearm. She makes her way to a catwalk suspended over the chemical vats to get an angle on the third, and is able to take him out from above. Her communicator sounds and she starts to answer it but gets tackled by the fourth guard and is knocked down to the catwalk, her communicator falling down into one of the chemical vats, where it sizzles as it sinks into the liquid. Shepard and the fourth guard struggle and Shepard headbutts the guy, and he stands up clutching his head, and we see Shepard have an “OW” expression too. She gets up and punches the guy a couple times, he hits back once, and then does a wild swing that allows Shepard to grab him and throw him over the side, and he plummets down into one of the chemical vats. The camera cuts to Shepard with an “ugh” expression as we hear a brief scream and sizzling sound. She runs down the catwalk towards the way she came.

 

Back in the asteroid field, the two gunboats rev up and join in the attack on the Normandy, which is continuing to do evasive maneuvers while slowly being dinged up. Kaidan gives orders to Joker, who only half-listens since he hates side-seat drivers. They banter some more as the Normandy has to dodge torpedoes fired by the gunboats. “What the hell is a middle of nowhere mining station doing with this kinda hardware?” Kaidan wonders aloud. Joker maneuvers the Normandy into position to blast apart one of the gunboats, and Kaidan asks Joker to only disable the other one, so they could try and get some info out of its crew and/or data records. “Can’t make it easy for me huh” Joker grumbles, and after some more slick flying, is able to get behind the second gunboat and fire a shot that cripples its engine, but leaves it intact.

 

Back on the station, the barricade Anderson has put up by the door is being battered at, and Anderson and Sanders are hiding behind an overturned desk. Sanders is trying to tend to Anderson’s injury. The barricade falls and a couple guards push through, and Anderson shoots one, the other taking cover. They exchange shots, until a third gun opens up and the guard falls dead. It is Shepard. “You were right” she says to Sanders. “Very suspicious evil-looking chemical factory in the back.” Sanders says she’ll need to get samples to examine. Shepard, rubbing the back of her neck, says “Yeah, just not the tank with the dead guy in it. Probably contaminated.” Sanders has a “do I even want to know?” look and Anderson shakes his head and laughs.

 

The film cuts to the facility director rushing towards a hangar to get on a shuttle to escape, only to see the Normandy lower itself to directly in front of the hangar. The facility director surrenders, and the remaining guards do as well.

 

The film cuts to quick shots of marines from the Normandy combing the station, and Sanders with a science team investigating the chemical lab. Sanders frowns at some of the results and her attention is directed to a storage crate, which she has technicians force open, and we see she frowns even heavier at what is inside. The film then cuts to Anderson being patched up by Dr. Chakwas in the Normandy’s medical bay. She comments to him that he should leave the heroics to younger people. Anderson says he thinks he managed fine and Chakwas gives a kind-hearted scoff before leaving him be. At that point Sanders enters and goes up to Anderson, inspecting his bandages, and says they had a bit of a scare down there. “We got through” Anderson replies. “Well Captain, perhaps next time you could arrange for a quieter diversion.” Anderson chuckles and then gets back to business. He asks what she found on the Station and Sanders replies “Nothing good, Doc and I are ready to brief you.”

 

Cut to Anderson, Shepard, Kaidan, and Joker in the Normandy briefing room with Sanders and Chakwas. Sanders and Chakwas explain that it appears the station was a cog in the trade of “Red Sand”. Joker asks what that is and Kaidan says “it’s the biotic version of crack. Element Zero synthesized with other chemicals and then use in either liquid or powder form. Called Red Sand because of its color and texture when a powder.” Sanders and Chakwas nod and elaborate, saying that the variant produced here was especially potent. “Far more than you’d usually find in the illegal drug trade” Chakwas says. “This was being produced special.” Shepard asks for whom, and Sanders, looking a little uncomfortable, says that the gunboats were escorts meant to take the Red Sand to a small supply station used by the Alliance military. “That supply station supports a single base: The Ascension Project.” At that mention, Kaidan starts looking as uncomfortable as Sanders did. Joker and Shepard are in the dark about it and Anderson says it’s the formal name the Alliance gives for its elite military research academy for biotics. “Pretty much everyone who is a trained biotic in the Alliance military went through there at some point.” Shepard looks at Kaidan, who, seeing eyes on him, quietly nods.

 

Anderson says that the Ascension Project is one of the crown jewels of the Alliance’s portfolio, so they need to be extra careful. He says he will clear further investigation with Admiral Hackett. The meeting disperses both Kaidan and Sanders leave the briefing room quickly, both clearly uncomfortable.

 

The film returns to the Ascension Project, and we see Grayson have a meeting with Admiral Grissom. Grayson says that the training data is promising, they might have their most talented crop yet. Grissom says they are still light-years behind what the other species in the galaxy can do. “Have you see an Asari commando unit in action?” he asks Grayson. “Well, a single one of them could take on your entire ‘talented crop’ without breaking a sweat. We have a long, long way to go before we’re at the same level as the rest of the galaxy. We need to catch up. Our standing in this galaxy demands it.” Grayson says that he is doing all he can, given the “constraints” in place. Grayson continues, saying that understandably, the Alliance has placed a bunch of regulations on the work done here, for ethical reasons. “But it limits how much I can do to expedite the progress you want”. Grayson says that Grissom is unparalleled in his standing with the Alliance, if he wants to eliminate bureaucratic hand-holding, he can do it, and Grayson can deliver to Grissom the results he wants. After a moment of thought, Grissom says Grayson will have what he needs.

 

We cut to Grayson back in his office, preparing a secure text message that says that he has the green light. He sends it and waits cautiously for several seconds until he receives an encoded reply. He decodes it, and the reply states “Providing you coordinates. Send the first group as soon as possible.”

 

The film goes to the advanced biotic class from earlier, and we see Gillian and Zero. We see the group is a couple students smaller than before. The students are put through another difficult challenge. Gillian does alright, around middle of the pack. It’s Zero’s turn and we see she has a bit of extra color in her skin and energy in her eyes, and she tears through the challenge with ease. However, we also see strain build on her face and she starts losing focus and becomes more erratic, and soon after gets knocked in the face by a test projectile and is slammed to the ground, a welt on the side of her face. We hear some of the bullies from before snickering at Zero turning up a goose egg yet again. Gillian helps Zero to her feet and says she did very well. Zero, on edge, says not well enough. Gillian says “well, a lot better than those clowns.” The two laugh.

 

We cut to them at a cafeteria for the students, eating and talking. Gillian says her parents died when she was young, and Grayson adopted her. She’s not sure if she truly belongs here, but her dad insists she apply herself as much as possible. She says she’s always felt more comfortable with math and stuff than biotics. Zero says she bounced from orphanage to foster home, until one day after she flung a guy harassing her into a brick wall, some other guy in a suit talked to her. “beats spending a few years in juvie.” The two seem to be becoming friends, when the class bullies show up and start taunting Gillian. Gillian ignores them, but after one particularly cruel remark Zero comes to her defense. The bullies turn their attention to her, and their taunts stay just as cruel, and a couple shove Zero around, and we see Zero suddenly get enraged and in a flash summons biotic energy which she uses to throw the bullies a couple dozen feet away, the shock wave from the outburst knocking over chairs, tables, and even people. Zero snaps back to reality, shaking heavily, and runs out of the cafeteria. Gillian rushes after Zero and tries to calm her down, but Zero shouts “Stay away from me!”, Zero’s shaking. Zero returns to running off and disappears around the corner.

 

We return to the Normandy, with Anderson having a hologram conversation with Hackett. Anderson tells Hackett about the lead to the Ascension Project. Hackett says that is very concerning and says he can arrange for the Normandy to get access. “But expect some pushback from the people in charge there. Admirals don’t like it when other admirals step onto their turf.”

 

Elsewhere on the Normandy, Shepard checks in on Kaidan and asks if he’s ok. Kaidan says it’s just bad memories, and when he doesn’t volunteer more info, Shepard says “hey, you said I could come to you if I wanted to talk.” Kaidan says she has him there, and after a deep breath, opens up. He says that when he was a recruit, he was sent to the Ascension Project. One area humanity has been woefully behind was biotics, so they brought in ex-military types of various species to be instructors for the students. “Most of us were just kids, but these instructors were merciless. One of them was a Turian, and he hated the lot of us, he would make the tests go to the brink, and physically punish the kids who failed. One day, seeing a friend get humiliated, I snapped, and threw the guy halfway across this big arena. Nearly broke his neck. Wasn’t the first time a student freaked out, but it was the last. Afterwards, they took out the alien teachers and put in a lot more regulations and guidelines about what they could do.” Kaidan says the place brings up bad memories, and there is a dark side to that place, because it is a place where humanity’s ambition can run unchecked. He isn’t confident they’ll like what they find. Shepard asks him about Red Sand and Kaidan says from what he’s heard from colleagues of his, it gives biotics an immensely powerful high and even augments their capabilities. “The crash back down though is apparently a mother.” Kaidan says the Ascension Project is a perfect market for it. A lot of tired, overworked, immensely pressured teenagers and young adults trying to live up to impossible expectations.

 

Anderson visits Sanders in the science lab. Sanders says she is not looking forward to this upcoming visit, and when Anderson asks why, Sanders says that the man in charge of the Ascension Project, Admiral Grissom, is her dad. Anderson recognizes Admiral Grissom as a hero of the First Contact War, and says he did not know Grissom had a family. Sanders says they were his “dirty secret”. “He preferred being in space with his career and glory than with us, so one day my mother packed us all up and left. I always wonder how long it took him to realize we had even gone.” Sanders says it’s been several years since they spoke. “Regardless of what involvement, if any, he has in this, this meeting won’t end well.” Anderson puts a hand on her shoulder and says he’s got her back on this. “Say the word and I’ll clock him. I don’t have principles about hitting old people.” Sanders laughs and says she will keep it in mind.

 

The film cuts to the Cerberus asteroid base. We see Banes and Dr. Coré overseeing the finalization of laboratories and testing chambers. Dr. Coré says that place is almost functional. Banes says they need to move quickly, since the window for his operation is narrow. “I hope your theories prove to be accurate” he says. Coré says they are, “and with the assistance of Paul Grayson, we have primed our subjects.”

 

Zero is escorted to Grayson’s office by a couple marines. Zero sits down, nervous, and Grayson asks “rough time yesterday?” Zero, looking at her feet, asks if the others are ok, and Grayson says a few broken bones, but they’ll recover. Grayson asks her if she has anything to say, and when Zero is quiet, adds “how about this” and puts on his desk a vial of Red Sand, telling her that they searched her quarters after the incident. Zero looks at Grayson and says “it helps, with the pressure.” Grayson says he understands, there’s a lot put on the students’ shoulders. Zero looks away again and we can see she is shaking and sweating a bit, being in withdrawal. Grayson tells Zero that she is not in trouble, in fact the opposite. What happened showed she has the most potential of all of the students. Zero perks up at this and asks if that’s really true. Grayson leans forward and says it is, and he wants to help her. He says that he has just been allowed to open up an off-site training program for the most gifted biotics, to push them farther than any human has gone before. He says a couple of her classmates have already gone there, and he wants her to join them. Zero looks at him and asks “You really think I am one of the best?” Grayson, with a paternal smile, says “I guarantee it.” Zero nods her head. Grayson, pleased, says that they will need to have her leave as soon as possible. She’ll be joining a few students on a shuttle that departs in a couple hours. As Grayson starts to escort Zero out of the office, Zero pauses and asks Grayson to tell Gillian that she is sorry. “She wanted to be my friend, and I think I scared her off.” Grayson says he will gladly convey the message to her. Zero cautiously smiles, and follows Grayson out of his office.

 

We cut to Hackett on Arcturus Station have a conversation with Grissom via hologram. Grissom is not happy with an investigation entering his facility and Hackett says it is likely nothing, but he wants to be able to rule everything out. Grissom says he’ll give the Normandy the leeway it needs, “but I’m not gonna roll out the welcome mat. They peek around, see nothing is wrong, and leave me to my work.”

 

Hackett then he gets an incoming call from Ambassador Udina. Udina (Gregg), is the Alliance’s chief diplomat on the Citadel. Also participating in the call is Admiral Kahoku (Asano), the commander of the Alliance naval and security team stationed at the Citadel. We that a major diplomatic summit is being prepared on the Citadel, with all of the Council races attending. Supposedly it will lead to reforms which will give species that don’t have a council seat, like humans, elcor, volus, etc., more of a say. Udina asks Hackett if there is anything he should be aware of that could spoil things for humanity. Hackett says he’s trying to keep it that way. Kahoku chimes in to say that his security is tighter than a mousetrap and the ambassador is in good hands.

 

The Normandy arrives in the system where the Ascension Project is located. Joker grumbles about the adults getting to investigate while he has to hang here in dock doing nothing.

 

Anderson, Shepard, and Sanders go to Admiral Grissom’s office. There are frosty looks exchanged between Grissom and Sanders. The meeting gets off to a poor start with Grissom insisting that he runs a tight ship. Anderson says that’s probably true, and brings up the info they have about the Red Sand imports. Grissom blows that off as nothing surprising, “every major military outpost has a black market, you know that. So long as it doesn’t make waves, it causes more trouble than good to root it out.” Grissom says he is not going to waste his own valuable time arguing the matter. “You have been given clearance to conduct your investigation, so go ahead and investigate. And promptly depart once you realize there is nothing to be concerned about.” Grissom asks Sanders to stay behind for a moment. Sanders tells Anderson and Shepard she will catch up with them.

 

Sanders and Grissom have a short, curt conversation where both utterly fail at making small talk, and neither are willing to dig into the long-simmering personal issues between them. Grissom says he has never been able to have a good conversation with her, and Sanders retorts “where did you think I got it from, Dad?”

 

While waiting for Sanders, Anderson talks with Shepard and Kaidan. Sanders will be assisted by Chakwas in going over any technical and medical irregularities “since Red Sand has to leave some trail”, Kaidan will observe the students themselves to see if anything shakes out. Shepard asks what she will be doing and Anderson says “coming with me.”

 

We see Gillian arrive at her class, and sees that it is definitely smaller than usual, and that Zero is not there. She looks concerned, and we see she is having trouble focusing. Afterwards, she goes to talk with her dad to ask about Zero. Grayson says that she has been temporarily suspended, she hurt a couple students after all. Gillian nods, but walks away still looking a little concerned.

 

We cut to the Cerberus Base and we see a shuttle arrive carrying Zero and a few other students from the Ascension Project. They are met by Dr. Coré, who welcomes them and says their advanced training program begins tomorrow. Zero and the others are escorted to their own rooms, which are small and very sparsely furnished. We see Zero still has some shakes.

 

Coré meets with Banes and says the next batch of subjects is here. Banes nods and says I’m interested to see both of your theories play out, Dr. Coré.” Coré says that Red Sand makes its users more open to suggestion, and the suggestibility increases with the potency of the dose and the frequency of usage. “And with this particular variant, we should be able to maximize both the psychological malleability, and the extra augmentation to ability. However, I suspect not all of these subjects will be able to withstand it.” Banes says they only need one. They look out a two-way mirror and we see they are looking at a few students strapped into medical chairs, being injected with a liquified Red Sand and then subjected to sensory stimuli. One of them after a minute starts convulsing and some blood flows from the person’s ears and nose, and then he stops moving and breathing altogether.

 

Anderson and Shepard meet with Grayson. He is friendly, inviting, and happy to talk about his work. Afterwards, Shepard says he is either a great teacher, or a very good liar. Anderson says the two aren’t always exclusive. They meet up with Sanders and she looks a little put off. Anderson asks her if she’s ok and Sanders says she is fine, just old memories.

 

We cut to Gillian reaching Zero’s room and knocking on the door, asking through the door if she is doing ok. When there is no answer, she fiddles with the access panel and hotwires it to cause the door to slide open. The room is empty. We then see Gillian asking around, and learns that she and several other students haven’t been seen in a bit. Gillian walks away, looking bothered, and we see in the distance, Kaidan, finishing up asking some questions to a staffer, notice her.

 

Grayson, in his office, activates a secure voice channel to Dr. Coré, and Banes joins in the conversation. Grayson informs them that an Alliance ship, the Normandy, has arrived to conduct an investigation. “It seems your Red Sand facility has been compromised, and they traced shipments here.” Grayson adds that he has covered his tracks here as best he can, but no guarantees. Banes says they just need a little while longer. “Then if we need to we will extract you. With your assistance it has been far easier to appropriate defense positions for our own people.” Grayson understands, and hopes their plan is worth potentially ruining the operation here.

 

Grayson ends the communication and we see he is on edge, sweating and shaking a little. He takes a stress ball and, instead of squeezing it, uses biotics to levitate it and crush it into a pulp.

 

Banes and Coré discuss the conversation they just had. Banes is a bit unsettled by news of the Normandy and says he had hoped it would have been any other ship. “Though after Luna, I knew this was bound to happen.” Coré says that she has come around on his plan, especially since it is allowing her to fully test out her theories. “Just don’t let your personal reservations come into play. We’ve come too far for that.” Banes replies “she shot to kill me, I’d say there’s no reservations left.”

 

We cut to Zero in a test chamber. She is definitely doped up on the Red Sand variant, eyes a bit glassy and a buzzed expression. Another student enters and the two are told to defeat one another. Zero harnesses far more power and overwhelms the other student, flinging him into a wall and knocking him out cold. We see a look of manic glee on Zero’s face as she is totally in the moment.

 

Shepard finds Kaidan in an observation room looking at the advanced class. Shepard asks if he’s learned anything and he says it seems that about a third of the advanced class has vanished over the past couple weeks, a mix of suspensions, washing out of the program, or illness. Shepard, eyebrow raised, says that sounds very high and Kaidan says it is. Thing is, the staff are all tight-lipped. The couple students he’s tried to talk to have blown him off. Kaidan indicates Gillian and says she seems to have noticed something is wrong as well. She might be willing to talk. Shepard asks if Kaidan wants her to join in, in case Gillian prefers to talk to a girl. Kaidan says he’ll talk to her alone, “I trained here, same as her, so I might be able to connect with that.”

 

We return to the Normandy and see Sanders and Chakwas working together. The data analysis of the biological records for the students at the Project finishes and the two review it, and are puzzled to find everything is clean. Too clean. Which means it’s been tampered with. Chakwas runs a security analysis and says that to modify these records would require a very high-level clearance at the station, which is only a handful of people, including Grissom. Sanders sighs and lightly thunks her forehead against a wall.

 

Kaidan enters the student cafeteria and sits down across from Gillian, who is sitting alone. She’s a little nervous and Kaidan says he just has some questions. Gillian is reluctant to talk until Kaidan rolls up a sleeve and shows a tattoo, for his graduating class at the Ascension Project. Kaidan says he knows what it was like to go through this place. Gillian looks more trusting now and tells Kaidan that a friend of hers, and several others, have disappeared. There’s official reasons, but a couple other students have told her that they were offered secret classes, which they decided not to take. Whatever it is, it’s off-station. Kaidan nods and says there is one other thing, and brings up Red Sand, and asks if she knows anything about that. Gillian shakes her head vigorously, and then thinking, gets a little upset, and says it makes sense now why her friend was so shaken up recently. She gets up to leave but Kaidan asks her to wait a moment. He tells her his personal comm frequency, “in case something else comes to mind.”

 

We return to the Cerberus Base, and see a student placed into an empty chamber, and the student is told over an intercom to “harness as much as you can, and then unleash it.” The student, looking confident and smirking, puts his hands together like fists and concentrates, straining. We see a bluish-glow surround him, growing more intense, but then the student starts bleeding from the nose, and then suddenly clutches his hands to his head and he collapses to the floor. Medical technicians come in and cart him off. From their observation area, Banes and Coré look on. Banes notes that most of these subjects cannot cut it. Coré, with a knowing smile, says she is just testing all possible options. “I believe I have already found your prize.”

 

Cut to Zero strapped into a medical chair. Coré enters and tells her this is nothing to worry about. “The drug you take, I have found a way to make it far more potent. If your body can handle it, you will be capable of more than you can imagine.” Zero says she is surprised that the Alliance is endorsing this and Coré with a smile says that “We cannot be left behind. We must seize every advantage we can.” Coré injects the concentrated serum into Zero’s arm and exits the chamber. Zero is restless, and then glazes over as the buzz hits, and then the room darkens, and suddenly video screens turn on, noise barrels in over speakers, and strobe lights emanate. Zero is being subjected to a sensory program similar to those in films like A Clockwork Orange, and embedded in the stimulation are messages about humanity first, means justifying the ends, etc.

 

Back on the Normandy, the gang convenes and agrees that there is some sort of black ops program being run out of the Project that is somehow tied to Cerberus. Anderson doesn’t think Grissom is directly involved, but thinks they should confront him with what they know. Sanders says she will do it, it will help her get some closure. Anderson says he will accompany her. He tells Shepard and Kaidan to be ready in case they’re needed. ‘And Joker-”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Be ready to fly the ship in case something needs to be flown at.”

 

Gillian goes to talk to her dad, saying she has concerns about her class. Grayson beckons her over and gives her a hug, saying that there is nothing going on that should bother her. Gillian nods and says she’s just a bit unfocused recently, but she’ll get back into it. She leaves.

 

Grayson, pondering, pushes a button on his deck and a comm channel opens. Grayson tells the person on the other end to get the various units ready, just in case.

 

Cut back to Gillian in the corridors, as if searching for a specific door. She finds it and hotwires the panel to allow access, and enters a hangar that has a handful of guards scattered around. She finds a hiding place to observe, and sees a shuttle (which is the same shuttle we have seen deliver Zero and others to the Cerberus base).

 

Anderson and Sanders meet with Grissom and confront him about their findings. Grissom says it is preposterous to think some paramilitary unit has infiltrated his station. “So, you know of this secret student program?” Anderson asks. Grissom says he has approved what is needed to advance humanity forward. “If the First Contact War had been an actual war, we would have been annihilated. We are woefully behind.” Sanders speaks up and appeals to him, saying she knows he cares about humanity, “but if we’re right, your legacy will be helping people who want nothing other than seeing countless innocents die”. She says that she used to hate him for loving the Alliance more than his own family, “but don’t let that love blind you to something being wrong.” There is a moment of silence, and then Grissom sighs. He says that perhaps his daughter is right, “perhaps I should have listened to you a lot sooner.” He says Grayson approached him about running an off-books advanced program. “He has use of a special hangar and shuttle to take student volunteers to whatever site he is utilizing.” Anderson says that perhaps they should all pay Grayson a visit then.

 

Shepard and Kaidan are contacted by Anderson and told to check out the hangar Grissom mentioned. They start walking that direction, and we see a handful of guards shadowing them from a distance.

 

Anderson, Sanders, and Grissom confront Grayson in his office with what they know. Grayson, smug, says that the Alliance is too busy playing nice with the aliens out there “so they won’t stomp on us” to realize just how far behind humanity is. “Humans are domesticated pets to them” he says. “So, we’re picking up the slack.” Grissom curses Grayson out for being a two-faced lying sack of shit. Anderson says that whatever Cerberus’ endgame was, it is all for naught. Grayson laughs and says “You have no idea how many in the Alliance are sympathetic to our cause.” He presses a button on his desk.

 

The film cuts to the guards tailing Shepard and Kaidan drawing their weapons and opening fire in the corridor. Shepard and Kaidan draw their sidearms, find what cover they can, and return fire.

 

Back at Grayson’s office, a few guards enter, guns raised. Grayson tells the guards to keep the three here nice and quiet until he is off-station, “then eliminate them.” The guards nod and Grayson walks out. As he leaves he tries to contact Gillian on her communicator, and when there is no answer, sighs and says “She will understand”.

 

Shepard and Kaidan take out the ambushers one by one, assisted by Kaidan using his biotics to flush the attackers out from behind cover. A couple more “guards” show up, but they are taken out by actual Alliance marines responding to the scene.

 

Back in Grayson’s office, Anderson and Grissom use subtle eye gestures to work out a plan, and use it to get the drop on the guards. They are able to subdue the guards, but when the last one trains his rifle on Sanders, Grissom steps in the way and is hit in the abdomen. Grissom falls and Sanders rushes to apply first aid. Anderson calls for a medical team and then Sanders tells him to go stop Grayson, she’ll stay here.

 

Film cuts to Joker, bouncing a ball against the cockpit window when he gets a call from Anderson telling him to get the Normandy running hot. Joker nearly falls out of his chair scrambling to act, but starts getting the ship booted up.

 

Shepard and Kaidan finish off the remaining attackers, with help from the marines, and get a call from Anderson telling them to get to the hangar immediately. The soldiers fall in behind them. They come across some more Cerberus infiltrators guarding a chokepoint and have to shoot past them.

 

Grayson enters the hangar and gets onto the shuttle inside, and has the pilot immediately take off. Shepard and Kaidan reach the hangar too late. The shuttle flies off and we see the Normandy starting to exit from its space dock, but being a much bigger ship, it takes far longer to get going and so the shuttle is able to activate its hyperspeed engines. Joker radios Anderson to say it got away. He adds that a little more heads-up next time would be appreciated.

 

On the shuttle, the pilot asks Grayson what course to set. Grayson, looking a little exasperated, says “The one already in the navigation console of course!” The pilot shrugs and inputs the course already booted in from prior trips.

 

We see, in the cargo hold of the shuttle, the lid of a cargo container open slightly. It is Gillian, having stowed away.

 

Back at the Ascension Project, we see Sanders in the Intensive Care Unit where Grissom is being kept. A doctor lets her know that Grissom was badly hurt, and they had to put him in a medical coma for the time being, but he will recover. Sanders thanks him for the news, and we see her have some tears of relief.

 

The command crew of the Normandy meets to go over what happened, and the Cerberus infiltrators Grayson had concerns them. At the minimum, it means that it is likely that they have other supporters within the Alliance. During this, we see Kaidan notice a light on his personal communicator flashing. He checks it, and tells the others it seems that Gillian Grayson had sent him a text message. She found a suspicious shuttle, stowed aboard, looked at the coordinates entered in the navigation computer before anyone else got onboard, and sent them to him. Anderson smiles and says we have our lead then. He tells Joker “You have your heads up this time. We’re leaving in two hours, once we’re fully stocked for combat.”

 

“Gee, appreciate it” Joker says sarcastically.

 

The film cuts to the Cerberus base, where Grayson’s shuttle arrives. Banes and Coré are waiting for him at a hangar and he tells them that he was exposed. Coré asks if the shuttle was followed and Banes says it doesn’t matter, they have to assume this base is compromised as well. “We need to close up shop, wipe as much as we can.” Coré says she has one last test to run on their last subject. Grayson raises an eyebrow, and intrigued, asks for her to show him.

 

After they leave the area and the commotion dies down, we see Gillian carefully exit the shuttle and slip into a maintenance corridor.

 

Back at the Ascension Project, Sanders is still in Grissom’s medical room when he wakes up. The two have a short scene where both express some regret about the past, Grissom saying he never stopped keeping tabs on Sanders’ progress, though he never showed it. The two appear to have started on the path of reconciliation.

 

On the ship, Shepard and Kaidan have a talk. Shepard admits that she is nervous and a little afraid of confronting Banes. “I killed him once, I don’t know if I have it in me to do it again.” Kaidan says she doesn’t have to. “More than one way to put him behind you.”

 

Once everyone is onboard, the Normandy sets out at top speed. Anderson speaks to the whole crew over the intercom and says they are going to be going in weapons hot. “But I know each and every one of you, and I know you won’t let me down.”

 

Back at the Cerberus Base, we see Zero sitting in her quarters, looking lost, adrift. We see her look to the side, where a medical tray with a syringe and small vial is resting. She looks at it. The film then cuts to her walking down a corridor, again in the state of a Red Sand high.

 

Zero enters a testing chamber and opposite her we see a handful of other students. She is told over an intercom to fight them, and she does, unleashing her biotic powers in a series of blasts that handily beats them quickly. As she stands over them, the voice on the intercom tells her “Very good, now, harness all of your energy, everything you can hold, and destroy everything in the room.” Zero pauses, hesitating. The voice on the intercom tells her “You are a sword for humanity. The others in this room are your enemy. Destroy them, show no mercy.” Zero continues to hesitate, and then she bends over, clutching her head, and overlapping echoing voices ripple in her mind, reminding her of what she is, and then suddenly she snaps up, eyes glowing. She summons a bright, glowing sphere of biotic energy around her and unleashes it, creating a large ripple that incinerates much of the large chamber, and disintegrates the others inside it. The station itself shakes slightly. The energy fades, and Zero, her skin slightly shimmering, collapses to the floor.

 

Cut to Banes, Coré, and Grayson observing. Coré, smiling, says her theories are now confirmed. “Our subject here will now kill on command, and with the proper administered dosage, she will be able to generate massive amounts of biotic energy. You have your weapon, Banes.” Banes nods and says with a smirk “And you used to doubt me.” Banes adds they should leave, and get their subject to where she needs to go. Banes tells Grayson to come with him. He knows the subject, and will be able to manage her. Grayson says he will do what he can. He asks Banes “I have a sense of what you intend to do, but how will you get through security?.” Banes smiles and says security is only as good as the men operating it, and “We have plenty of friends.” Coré says that while she is very interested to see how this turns out, her part is done. “Best of luck.”

 

Zero wakes back up to find Grayson standing over her. He helps her to her feet and she, a bit disoriented, asks what he is doing here. He says he came to see his best pupil show just how far she has come. Zero, looking around at the ash, says with some realization this is not what she wanted.

 

GRAYSON: Yes it is. This is the one thing you have always wanted. To be something, anything, instead of the nothing you came from. Are you nothing? Or will you make a difference with your life?

 

The manipulation, combined with the brainwashing, works, as Zero nods resolutely.

 

The Normandy arrives in-system at full battle stations. The defenses of the Cerberus base activate, with defense turrets and drones attacking the ship. Joker expertly pilots the Normandy in combat, whittling down the enemies one by one with missiles and cannon fire. Once the defenses are diminished, a handful of assault shuttles launch from the Normandy towards the base asteroid and we see Shepard and Kaidan are on them.

 

The assault shuttles land on the base and with breaching charges, the marines enter the base and start fighting the resistance inside. Shepard and Kaidan eventually split up.

 

As this happens, Gillian exits from her hiding spot as she sees people with crates and other materials heading towards the hangar. She follows them carefully.

 

Shepard advances through a corridor on her own, noting over comms to Kaidan that there is not as much resistance as she thought there would be. Shepard continues on until she arrives at a large chamber, shrouded in darkness. As she goes further into it, the lights go on, and we see Banes standing in the middle.

 

“Hey Shep, been a while.”

 

The film cuts to the main hangar. Gillian sees a transport being loaded up with people and materials, and then sees Grayson and Zero walking towards it. Gillian calls out to her dad. Grayson and Zero stop for a second, and then Grayson tells Zero to continue, he will join her shortly. Zero resumes walking, so Gillian pleads with her, and for the first time we hear Zero’s actual name.

 

“Jack! Please! Just…wait.”

 

Zero/Jack freezes for a moment, looks back briefly at Gillian, and then turns away and continues onto the transport.

 

Grayson approaches his daughter and apologizes for keeping secrets from her, but says that this is an important project, the most important he has ever been a part of. He extends a hand to her. Gillian takes hold of it, and then, pauses and asks

 

“Dad…the other students…where are they?”

 

Grayson hesitates, and that is all Gillian needs to confirm her fears. She yanks her hand away and says she is not going anywhere with him. Grayson, voice a bit bitter, says he’ll make her understand and grabs for her, but she instinctively pushes him back with her biotics. Grayson calls for guards to bring him his daughter. Just as guards start advancing on Gillian, the door to the hangar is blown open and a squad of marines, led by Kaidan, enters. A gunfight breaks out.

 

Shepard walks up close to Banes, circling around him.

 

BANES: In case you’re wondering, no, I don’t hold a grudge about what happened. If I was you, and believed what you did, I would have done exactly the same.

SHEPARD: Well, instead of making this a repeat occurrence, why don’t you just surrender.

BANES: Too busy defending humanity, even when it won’t defend itself.

SHEPARD: Seems to me we’ve been defending it pretty well without what you consider to be help.

BANES: Is that what you think? Every step our species takes towards closer relations with the Council is another step to just becoming another second-class nation for them to use and abuse. Even now, our “leaders” are rolling over to the Council and showing their bellies. No, Shepard, I don’t consider that defending humanity, I consider it handing over our freedom.

SHEPARD: I honestly can’t believe I never saw you for what you are, that I used to trust you and respect you.

 

Shepard cannot hold back any longer and takes a swing at Banes, and her fist passes right through him. A hologram.

 

BANES: You didn’t actually think I would risk everything just to have a face-to-face chat with you? I trained you better than that. I guess shooting me affected you more than me.

 

Shepard, glaring, says she is going to stop him. Banes smiles and says he looks forward to seeing her try, and when she fails, she’ll see the Council exposed for the paper tigers they truly are. “They are just flesh and blood.” The hologram flickers out.

 

Back at the hangar shootout, the marines are slowly pushing forward, and we see Kaidan and Grayson having a duel, with a mix of gunshots and biotic energy blasts as they pop out from behind cover. It is a stalemate, until Zero re-emerges from the transport and harnesses a biotic shockwave that pulverizes a chunk of the hangar, vaporizes a couple marines and knocks the others flat. This allows Grayson and the remaining guards to get onboard and it escapes.

 

On the transport, Zero asks Grayson about Gillian and he says she had to be left behind. “She doesn’t understand. But soon she’ll she what we can accomplish.” Zero nods, looking slightly troubled.

 

The Normandy crew picks over the remains of the Cerberus base. We see Kaidan take Gillian to a private quarters on the ship, and say he’ll be back to talk later.

 

The Normandy command crew convenes to go over what they have learned. Chakwas says that this base used an even more potent form of the adapted Red Sand, which combined with some of the equipment the marines recovered indicates they were brainwashing the students. Anderson says that actual brainwashing is just a myth, but Chakwas says that the Red Sand makes biotics highly malleable and open to suggestion. Kaidan asks to what end, and Sanders says that is where another piece comes into place. She shows the others footage that has been reconstructed, and it shows one of the students in a test chamber starting to summon a large amount of biotic energy, but it goes out of control and explodes, immolating the student and much of the room.

 

“Cerberus wanted one thing from this project. A human bomb, that can go off anytime, anywhere, on command, undetectable until too late. And they got it.”

 

The room is silent for a moment, and then Shepard speaks up and says she thinks she knows what Banes’ target is. She brings up what he said about how he was going to show just how weak the Council was. “He’s going to the Citadel; he plans to wipe out the Council and pretty much whomever is in the room with them.”

 

Cut to a holoconference with Hackett. Hackett looks deeply concerned, saying that there is a very important diplomatic conference on the Citadel that is about to commence, with pretty much every species represented. A successful terror attack there would wipe out a bunch of galactic leaders, cause political and economic chaos. Hackett says he will pass the warning along. “In the meantime, get your ship to the Citadel as fast as possible. Your crew are the people who know exactly what to look for. The chances are much better with you all here.”

 

We get a couple scenes on the ship. Anderson visits Sanders and asks her how she is feeling. She says she’s been better. She thinks that maybe something good might come out of this for her and her father, “a couple decades too late, but better than nothing”. Anderson says he’s there for her, quickly adding just like he’d be for any of his crew. Sanders says she knows, and kisses him on the cheek.

 

Kaidan visits Gillian in her room. She is in shock about her father. The conversation turns to Zero/Jack and Gillian says that she is a good person. “She was bullied, told she was nothing. My dad, the others, they’re manipulating her.” Kaidan agrees, but says that Zero/Jack is still a danger to herself and others around her. “We have to stop her from harming anyone.” Gillian asks Kaidan to let her help. “I can talk to her, maybe get through to her.” Kaidan says he can’t promise that, but he can promise that if there is a way to help her, he will try.

 

Shepard sits in her quarters and looks at the bottles of alcohol from before. She picks up one that is still a little full and considers imbibing, but then holds off, and pours the contents down a personal sink in her room. She then goes up to the cockpit and sits down in a chair there. She talks with Joker a bit and asks him for his take on all this. Joker says all of this insane stuff with infiltrators and mad scientist experiments and whatnot makes his head spin. “I’m just a pilot, I fly at things and shoot them.” He says he knows she’s been feeling rough since Luna, but she’s the toughest girl he knows “Well, second-toughest, can’t forget the old lady here” he adds, patting the Normandy’s interior.

 

The Cerberus transport exits a mass relay in a dense purplish-pink-blue nebula, and as it passes by the gas clouds we get an epic establishing shot of the Citadel, our first time seeing it on film, a massive space station many kilometers wide, with five giant arms sprawling out from a central ring. As the transport gets close, the Citadel defense fleet directs the ship to customs, a request that is overridden when Banes provides clearance codes, commenting afterwards to Grayson “courtesy of our friends on the station.”

 

The transport is given clearance to land at a docking bay under Alliance jurisdiction. It lands, and waiting in the docking bay is Admiral Kahoku. Banes salutes him and says it has been far too long, Kahoku returns the salute and the two shake hands. Kahoku says he Banes will have the assistance and cover he needs. Banes says “I have some very important people I need to get into some very important places.” Kahoku looks at Banes, eyes narrowed, and asks “This is going to be a shitstorm, isn’t it?” Banes smiles and says that is what he specializes in. The group moves out.

 

The Normandy arrives in the Citadel’s system, and is given clearance to dock with the station. Anderson, Shepard, Kaidan, Joker, and Sanders are all in the cockpit, and most look a bit in awe, this being their first time here. Anderson says they can keep the tourist act for another time, it’s straight to business here.

 

The Normandy lands and the main crew exit to find Hackett waiting for them. He they are meeting with Ambassador Udina and others shortly.

 

Cut to Joker, sitting in the cockpit, grumbling at being left behind again to just park his butt. Chakwas enters the cockpit, saying that she’s been left out too. “Welcome to the club!” Joker says with mock enthusiasm. With nothing else to do, the two start to play cards and chit-chat.

 

Shepard and the others take a hover-tram through the Citadel to reach the Alliance diplomatic compound, and we get several establishing shots of the interior of the Citadel, which is a whole metropolis with an artificial sky and sun, climate control, urban areas with buildings hundreds of meters high, and thousands upon thousands of people of various species milling about in their daily lives. They eventually arrive at the diplomatic compound and are escorted in to Udina’s office, where he is waiting. With him, is Admiral Kahoku.

 

Udina thanks Hackett for coming and, looking over the Normies, says “so this is the group that is threatening to ruin the occasion.” Anderson says they’re here to prevent a terror attack and Udina says they have no proof that the Citadel is in danger. Shepard says she knows Banes as well as anyone, knows how he thinks. “He wants to make a big statement, and there’s no bigger statement than here.” Udina scoffs and says Banes would be a fool of the highest order to come to the Citadel. “He’d never make it past the docks, let alone orbital customs”. “Unless he had help on the inside” Shepard says. Kahoku asks if Shepard is insinuating that Alliance people here are assisting him. Anderson says it is better to take precautions and have nothing happen than do nothing and witness a catastrophe. Udina admits that it is a sound enough point.

 

Hackett asks if Udina relayed to the Council his suggestion to delay or relocate the conference. Udina says he did, but the Council is confident in their security measures. “They appreciate the warning, and Citadel security will keep a tight watch, but they don’t run from threats.” Shepard says that is foolhardy and Udina, raising an eyebrow, says that Shepard must know little about politics. “Appearances are half the battle. If they show fear, it can be interpreted as weakness.” Anderson says they would like to meet with Citadel Security. Udina nods and says “yes, yes, that’s why I asked the C-Sec commander to come over for this meeting, he is running a little late. Expected, the Citadel people like to remind us that they’re the ones with the power.” Hackett in the meantime asks Kahoku if his men are fully briefed. Kahoku nods and says each and every one, and he’ll have his best soldiers and security technicians going to the conference to watch over the ambassador. “We’ll keep him safe.” Kahoku then nods to everyone and departs.

 

At this point the C-Sec commander arrives, Executor Pallin. Pallin (Modine) is a Turian, and he looks a bit annoyed to be here. With him is a lower-ranking C-Sec officer, also a Turian, who hangs back by the door in silence. Pallin looks over the Normies and asks if they are the ones causing him indigestion. “Indeed, Executor” Udina says as he sips a drink. Pallin turns to Hackett and the Normies and “thanks” them for their information, and says that his people can take it from here. Kaidan says “that’s it? You don’t want to consult with us about what you have to deal with?” Pallin says that he has been briefed and it sounds like junk science. “But we will look out for it anyway, just so the Ambassador doesn’t come to the Council complaining that he has been ignored. Because then the Council will complain to me and that will ruin my day.” Shepard says Pallin is not taking this seriously, and Pallin says that he is notified of at least a dozen threats every day, and ninety-nine out of a hundred are bogus, and the other one is always handled. “There is no danger here, I can assure you of that.” When Hackett insists that his people help in the security, Pallin sighs, exasperated, and says that he expected as much. “Very well, to keep you humans happy, I will provide you with one of my investigators to assist you. Whatever clearance he has you will be able to use.” Pallin waves over the other Turian, who walks over crisply, more like a soldier than a detective. Pallin introduces the others to Garrus Vakarian, and says he will be their liaison. “Look into this if you must, but please, don’t cause me more headaches than this ‘goose chase’ as you humans say, is already giving me.” At that point Pallin turns and leaves, leaving Garrus behind.

 

Kaidan comments it sounds like Pallin is blowing them off with a glorified babysitter. Garrus (Kebbell) says that’s exactly what Pallin is doing. “He doesn’t like humans much, so he wants to keep you busy and out of the way.” Shepard says Garrus is being very forthcoming. “How’d you get this gig?” Garrus, with the Turian equivalent of a smirk, says “Because after I read your reports, I recommended the conference be relocated to a secure location off-site, or at the minimum security be doubled. When neither was approved, I went straight to the Executor with my opinion. His response was that I disturbed his afternoon meditation. So, here I am.” Udina says that as much as he finds this colloquy “stimulating”, he would like to have his office back. Hackett says of course, and tells the others they can finish this conversation nearby.

 

Gillian leaves her room, and has relative free roam of the ship. She finds her way to the cockpit and Chakwas waves her over to join them. Joker warns Gillian that Chakwas is a hustler at cards and Chakwas says she’ll go easy on her.

 

In Hackett’s office, the group discusses what they can do. Sanders says that Pallin seems to think this would be some conventional terror attack, when it is anything but. “She asks if the conference will have scanners to detect any special biotic resonances. Garrus says “C-Sec has a big budget, but not that big. Besides, you heard the Executor, he thinks this is crackpot science.” Anderson asks if facial recognition scanners at least are set up in the vicinity of the conference. Garrus replies “Would you be surprised if I told you that the Executor believes such tools unnecessary because the orbital customs ships and civilian docks are sufficient?” Shepard puts a hand to her forehead and groans. “So” she says “if they had the means to bypass orbital customs and dock security, they would have free reign of the Citadel?”

 

“That sounds about right” Garrus says with a nod. Shepard groans again. Anderson explains that these people have help on the inside. “They’ve infiltrated a highly secure research facility; I have to assume they have at least one person on the Citadel who can get them the clearance they need.” Garrus says that if that is the case, “then we know where to start looking. If someone on the inside has helped them get in, we can find that out, and then trace their progress through the station.” Anderson nods and tells Shepard to take Vakarian and run down potential leads at the Alliance docks. Hackett says in the worst case, he has the pull to get himself and the rest of them inside the conference area.

 

We see Shepard and Garrus travel to the Alliance docking center. As they travel, they talk a bit and we learn a little more about Garrus. He was in the Turian military for a few years but arranged for a transfer to C-Sec. “Military was very stratified. Figured being a cop would let me have some free room to get things done, but wouldn’t you know it, still a bunch of bureaucracy.” Shepard says she understands the feeling. They arrive at the docking center and inform the harbor master that they want to review the registry of ships that have come in over the past few days. They go through it, and while several ships have come in during that time period, all of them check out. Garrus however notices that one of the docking bays has been vacant for nearly a week, which is a little odd given the number of ships in and out. Shepard sees a notice that there was some power failures, putting it on temporary shutdown. “Let’s go see if that is the case” she says. The two of them head out, and as they do, we see one of the dock workers press a few buttons on a personal communicator.

 

Shepard and Garrus go to the docking bay. They enter and very quickly see the transport that fled from the Cerberus base. They walk closer to investigate when they hear footsteps and turn to see a handful of Alliance security police enter, guns drawn. “Bad idea fellas” Shepard says. “Better if you put the guns down and walk away. You’re not the ones we’re after.” “Orders are orders, sir” one of them replies. “Nothing person-” the words are cut off by Garrus quick-drawing and shooting the guy in the chest. The other security officers are caught off guard and hesitate, allowing Shepard to draw her own weapon and open fire along with Garrus as they take cover.

 

A short shootout breaks out, with the security guards bolstered by a few guys who had stayed with the transport to watch over it. They’re no match however for the combined skills of Shepard and Garrus. The last one, instead of killing, Shepard knocks out. “We’ll question him” she says.

 

The film cuts to Admiral Kahoku entering a safehouse, where Banes, Grayson, and about a dozen Cerberus operatives wait. Zero sits in a corner, staring at a wall. Kahoku informs Banes that the Normandy has arrived. “They’re taking you seriously, unlike the rest of this station.” Banes nods and says they’ll need to stay a step ahead then. He looks at Grayson and says “can I rely on you to get her where she needs to be?” Grayson nods. Banes asks Kahoku if their covers and access clearance has processed and Kahoku says it has. “You’ll be inside. The rest is up to you.” Banes thanks Kahoku and the two shake hands. “For humanity” Banes says.

 

We briefly return to the Normandy and see that Gillian has cleaned out Joker in the card game. “Great, now there’s two hustlers on the ship” he complains. Joker asks Gillian how she got so good and she replies that most card games are a matter of math, and she’s very good at math. “Also reading your opponent, and you’re easy to read.” Joker cuts off a swear as Chakwas chuckles and excuses herself and Joker tells Gillian that he has no more money for her to win. She says that’s fine; he can show her how the ship works. Joker says sure why not, and starts running down the various instruments and equipment in the cockpit.

 

The film returns to Shepard and Garrus, having dragged the survivor onto the transport. Garrus by checking the computers confirms it provided access codes to orbital customs. Shepard turns her attention back to the prisoner, who is coming to consciousness, and politely asks him to tell her who got them through the dock. The prisoner, not so politely, spits on the floor and tells her to go to hell. Garrus enters and Shepard says the prisoner is playing tough, Garrus chuckles and says he can do tough. We thus get a Good Cop/Bad Cop routine where Shepard plays the good cop and Garrus the bad one, and after a bit, the prisoner cracks. He says some Alliance officer met Banes and the others outside the ship. He didn’t get a name, but seemed important. Shepard thanks him for the cooperation and knocks him out. As Shepard and Garrus walk out of the docking bay, he asks if she has an idea about who is helping Banes. Shepard says “a hunch, but I want to be absolutely sure.”

 

Kaidan gets a call from Shepard, and she asks him to cross-check Kahoku’s service record with Banes. Kaidan goes through the Alliance data files, using Hackett’s clearance, and something pings up. “About a decade ago, Banes served under Kahoku for two years.” Shepard asks if there is anything else and Sanders, browsing, says “Yes, it looks like there’s a bunch of various elite operatives connected to Kahoku. A number of them have gone off the grid the past five years, and…at least two of them are linked to Cerberus.” Shepard says Kahoku is Banes’ guy on-station, has to be. Kaidan says it’s suspicious, but “It’s not enough to arrest Kahoku.” Shepard agrees, “but it’s good enough for Hackett to let us keep a close watch on the guy.” She asks where Kahoku is now and Sanders says he’s been gone. Shepard asks Garrus if he can get Sanders access to the Citadel’s security cameras. Garrus says he’ll get reamed about it in the morning by Pallin, but sure. Shepard tells Sanders that once she gets access, to track Kahoku’s movement from the compound. Kaidan asks what he should do and Shepard “get yourself inside that conference. We’ll need people there.”

 

Back at the Cerberus safehouse, we see Zero alone. She has shaved her head. She is staring in a mirror at herself when Grayson enters. He says “it is time.” Zero says she is not sure she can do this. Grayson says he understands her fear, but what she will do today will be worth more for humanity than what she would otherwise accomplish in a lifetime. He puts a hand on each of her shoulders and looks at her mirror reflection and says “You will make me proud.” He pulls her in for a reassuring hug, and Zero receives it, the brainwashing kicking back in.

 

We then see shots of the Cerberus operatives getting into their disguises. Grayson will be going in as an Alliance delegate, Zero as his personal assistant, and a few operatives as his staff. With the clearance, the operatives will have permission for sidearms. Banes and the others are dressed as technicians, and we see they have loaded some heavy weapons and other equipment into cases. “Get her close to the dais where the Council will open the ceremony” Banes tells Grayson. He then pulls Grayson aside and whispers “Needless to say, get yourself out of there before she does her job.” Banes tells a couple of the Cerberus guys to stay and watch over the place. A couple more he tells to have the escape route ready if necessary. Banes looks everyone over and says “This will be the moment the galaxy remembers from now on. Our rise begins today. I know none of you will let our species down.”

 

Kaidan goes to Anderson and Hackett and tells them what they know so far. Hackett says it is very thin, but still “Kahoku will be at the conference, and he was in charge of arranging for the Alliance security.” As they leave, Anderson radios Joker in the cockpit, interrupting his absent-minded recitation of ship systems to Gillian. Joker asks if he should get the ship fired up but Anderson says no, “Get some speeders ready for use.” Joker says he’ll get on it, and after Anderson hangs up turns around saying “Sorry Gillian looks like the tour is done for the-” and stops as he sees the cockpit is empty. Gillian is gone, in fact she might have been gone for a while.

 

“Well shit.”

 

Sanders, with access to security cameras, is able to precisely trace Kahoku’s route from the Alliance diplomatic compound to a building. She gives the location to Shepard and Garrus and they commandeer an airspeeder and fly that way. As they fly, Garrus asks “So this Banes, who is he anyway.” Shepard replies “He was my CO, and then my friend. Turns out he’s a human supremacist sociopath. Put a bullet in him a year ago, thought he died. Now I might have to do it again.” Garrus is silent for a few seconds, and then replies ‘Well, with luck, it’ll soon be over.” Shepard nods and says “Yes, it will be.”

 

They land the airspeeder around the corner from the building and cautiously advance. They get a look at the building and Shepard asks how Garrus wants to do the entrance. He says he’ll go to the front door and create a distraction, Shepard gets up top. Shepard nods and scales a fire escape while Garrus goes to the front door and bangs on it, saying “Citadel Security, open the door!” The door opens and a man pokes his head out and asks what the problem is. Garrus bluffs him with a rambling story about licensing checks, regulatory reviews, to distract him while Shepard climbs the fire escape. She gets to the top and peeks over the side to see a second guy exiting a roof entrance with a gun drawn. She slips up unnoticed and creeps up behind him. He turns at the last second to see Shepard. “Hi.” She then punches him in the face and he stumbles backwards and she grabs him and throws him to the rooftop floor. The man down below looks up at the noise and Garrus quickly karate chops him in the throat, and Garrus steps through the door and knocks the guy out. As he looks around, Shepard comes down from the stairs and says her guy is out cold. “Same here” Garrus says. As they look around, it is clear this is the Cerberus safehouse, with no one else there. “They’re on their way” she says.

 

Anderson, Hackett, and Kaidan are in a speeder with Hackett’s bodyguard driving when Anderson is contacted by Shepard. Shepard says the place was definitely a Cerberus hideout, and aside from a couple guards everyone is cleared out. Anderson is not happy with that news and tells Shepard to get herself and Garrus over to the conference. Anderson asks Hackett if he can pull the security arrangements Kahoku made. Hackett says he can. He suggests Anderson come have a chat with Kahoku with him. He looks at Kaidan and tells him “If you see any of them, do what you have to.” Kaidan asks if they should let Executor Pallin know about all this. Hackett replies “He didn’t believe us then; doubt he’ll believe us now.”

 

Anderson contacts Joker to ask how the air support is coming, and Joker says the speeders are ready to go. “Linked to the one I’m driving so they’ll follow me until someone gets in to take manual control.” Anderson says that is good. Joker then adds “Sir, one other thing. The girl, Gillian Grayson, it seems she’s gotten off the ship.” Kaidan overhears this. Anderson sighs and asks how a teenage girl got off one of the most advanced ships in the galaxy. Joker pauses and replies “because she’s very good?” Anderson sighs and says it doesn’t matter, just focus on the speeders. He hangs up and Kaidan says “she probably thinks she can help her friend. Maybe she can.” Anderson says maybe, “but we can’t rely on that.”

 

We see Gillian making her way through the Citadel, looking focused as she passes through the crowds. She gets off mass transit to see the large Council tower looming ahead.

 

We cut to the tower itself, with security tight as diplomats and others are ushered in for the conference. We see Grayson, Zero, and the few men with them flash their cover IDs and they are waved through. We then see Banes and his cohort, all dressed as techs, going to a side entrance. Similarly, they all come up clean, and are waved through.

 

We also see Udina and Kahoku arrive together. Udina is grumbling about this hopefully not being a waste of time. Kahoku says it won’t be. Udina asks him if he has heard anything from Hackett or his crew who cried wolf and Kahoku shakes his head and says, “as suspected sir, likely nothing to worry about.”

 

The speeder with Hackett, Anderson, and Kaidan arrives, and the three quickly make their way through security and enter the large convocation hall, which is enormous, with multiple levels, balconies, pillars, fountains, staircases, etc., all wrapped around a central dais. There must be thousands of people inside. Hackett details his bodyguard to assist Kaidan.

 

We see Shepard and Garrus’ speeder nearing the area. As it does, Shepard’s personal comm pings with the arrangements Kahoku made. It seems that he made changes to a handful of secondary dignitaries and staff arriving to attend, as well as several security technicians. Garrus surmises that the primary threat is the fake dignitary group, with the security technicians the backup. Shepard agrees and contacts Kaidan on his earpiece and says “we’re better positioned to clean up the support, so you’re on your own down there.” She wishes him good luck.

 

We see Grayson and Zero settling into the mass of the crowd, trying to blend in. Grayson reminds Zero “Wait until the Council is all here and commences the opening ceremony, when all of the important diplomats step forward to be recognized.”

 

Kaidan quietly whispers what he learned from Shepard to Hackett’s bodyguard. The bodyguard says he has noticed some curious movement up on the second level, he wants to check it out. Kaidan, looking around, pauses when he sees something, then tells the bodyguard to go ahead, but stay in contact and don’t engage alone. Kaidan walks over to what he saw, which is Gillian trying to bluff her way in, claiming she is on the list of attendees. The security guard handling admittance, a Salarian, says that she isn’t showing up, until Kaidan comes over and asks what the problem is. The guard explains and Kaidan says “she’s on Hackett’s team, university intern. Last-minute addition to the list. Probably hasn’t processed yet.” The Salarian guard after a couple seconds agrees, noting that the software is known to jam up now and then. He waves Gillian through. Kaidan pulls her aside and asks what the hell she is doing here. “Helping” she replies. “You need all the eyes you can get.” Kaidan sighs and tells her to stay close.

 

Hackett’s bodyguard goes to an upper level and approaches a couple human technicians struggling to set up recording equipment. He asks if there is a problem and they say the equipment is a bitch to set up. They ask if he can lend a hand and the bodyguard, dropping his guard, says sure. He walks to help retrieve the equipment and is suddenly put into a chokehold by Banes, who quietly strangles him. Banes has a couple others dump the body and tells the others “try to be less conspicuous.” He then enters a maintenance hallway with a carrying case.

 

Shepard and Garrus’ speeder arrives, landing by the side entrance. They make their way up maintenance stairwells with speed.

 

Anderson and Hackett finally locate Kahoku, who is with Udina Udina notices them first and greets them, glad they can make it and not worry about the “other matter.” Hackett says they wouldn’t have dared missed this, and asks if they could speak with Admiral Kahoku for a moment. Udina says they’re all among friends here. Anderson says he doesn’t think that is the case, and tells Kahoku that they found the safehouse. Kahoku plays dumb, but Anderson lays out things out. Udina, a bit slow on the uptake, asks what Anderson is getting at, and we see Kahoku’s hands fidgeting. Hackett says “this is about an Alliance admiral being in league with terrorists, and giving them the means to enter the Citadel, and this conference, undetected.” Udina turns to Kahoku and says this can’t be true. Kahoku shakes his head and says “I’m in league with patriots”, and we see he has stealthily produced a small pistol and presses it to Udina’s back. “Now, I am going to leave this place. Or humanity will need a new ambassador.” Udina starts to protest but when Kahoku jabs the pistol into his back he stops. Hackett tells Kahoku not to be stupid and Kahoku says he will not rot in a cell. He slowly backs away with Udina as Hackett and Anderson follow.

 

Shepard and Garrus continue racing up the maintenance stairways and corridors, looking for any sign of disturbance. Shepard asks Garrus where he would be if he was the backup. Garrus, looking around, gestures subtly to overhanging catwalks, saying he’d have someone up there with a sniper rifle, guards on either side, with men along the rim to provide cover fire. Shepard says she is going to go up top, Garrus should sweep around for anyone else.

 

We get a montage of everyone getting into position. Banes setting up a sniper rifle, his cohorts readying fake equipment, Kaidan and Gillian searching the crowd, Grayson and Zero waiting, Kahoku retreating cautiously with Udina while Hackett and Anderson follow.

 

Shepard gets up top and sees a man loitering. She approaches him and he quickly tries to draw a weapon but she is faster and gut-punches him, followed by an elbow to the head. “Didn’t even try to avoid detection, just amateurish” she comments. Meanwhile, we see Garrus approach the same “technicians” from before who have set up their equipment and he asks them how it is going. They say fine, just got everything set up. Garrus replies “Really, cause you have it set up backwards.” The two men look at one another, and start to make a move but Garrus, already with a pistol drawn says “Uh uh, let’s not make a mistake.” The men freeze and he tells them to get on the floor. He zipties their hands, and then just to be safe, knocks them out.

 

At this point the ceremony is about to begin, and lights dim and music starts playing, and we see the Council enter. Grayson squeezes Zero’s shoulder and whispers to her “this is your moment.” Zero nods and starts walking forward, and we see Grayson slowly backing away with his escorts to get distance. Kaidan and Gillian are still looking around, when Gillian spots Zero. She quickly moves forward and grabs Zero by the arm, causing Zero to freeze. Gillian says she is glad she found her, they can get her home. Zero, says she is exactly where she is supposed to be, and shrugs Gillian off. Kaidan sees this and starts making his way towards them through the crowd.

 

Shepard reaches the catwalk and sees someone with a rifle. It is Banes. She draws her weapon and cautiously advances.

 

Garrus, making his way to the other side of the rim, sees three more people looking suspicious. They are on alert. He readies his pistol and waits for a chance to make a move.

 

Gillian continues to plead with Zero to stop, to listen to her, but Zero asks why “You didn’t even notice me until recently. I was nothing to you, like I’m nothing to the rest of them.” Gillian’s reply is barely a whisper. “That’s not true.” At this point Grayson notices Gillian. He looks at the exit, looks at her, and then curses to himself.

 

Kahoku has reached the exit with Udina and is slowly backing through when, going down a step, Udina backwards headbutts Kahoku, and breaks free. As Kahoku stumbles backwards, his gun is exposed and Udina shouts “GUN!” Hackett, Anderson, and about a dozen security guards draw their weapons, though the disturbance isn’t noticed by the rest of the chamber. Hackett tells Kahoku to put the gun down. Kahoku looks at it, briefly considering, and then, with a sneer, raises it but before he gets halfway there everyone else opens fire, and Kahoku is dropped.

 

THAT gets the attention of everyone else in the chamber, and there is a mix of freezing in confusion and fleeing in panic. The Council is suddenly surrounded by their guards.

 

Gillian grabs Zero’s arm again saying “Jack, please. Let’s go.” Zero/Jack pauses, and then two men grab Gillian and pull her away. “No, do what you came here for” Grayson says, appearing behind his daughter. At this point Kaidan appears and draws his gun and points it at Grayson, and Grayson and one of his men point guns back at Kaidan in a standoff.

 

Zero/Jack looks at Gillian sadly and says “I am sorry. I have to.” And we see a light blue glow in her eyes as she starts charging biotic energy.

 

Shepard is close to Banes and gets his attention, he looks at her with a smile and says he is glad she’s here. Shepard says she’s glad too. Banes chuckles and snaps his fingers and that is heard over the comms of his men by Garrus, and they immediately pull out rifles concealed in the equipment and open fire on the Council security guards below, and now the crowd really goes into panic as the Council is forced to hide cover. Garrus tries to intervene, but one of the Cerberus guys sees him and opens fire with an automatic, and Garrus has to take cover.

 

Shepard stares down Banes and he asks “Aren’t you going to take the shot?” Shepard briefly hesitates, and Banes uses that opportunity to throw the sniper rifle at her. She dodges it and it clatters to the catwalk, but Banes is able to rush her, knock her sidearm away, and the two get into a hand-to-hand fight on the catwalk.

 

In the main chamber, one of Grayson’s men has dragged Gillian away behind a pillar, and the other two with Grayson are in a shootout with Kaidan, who is forced to take cover. Anderson and Hackett with other guards try to get into the chamber, but with hundreds and hundreds rushing out, it is impossible to force their way through the scrum. A crackling blue glow of energy starts surrounding Zero/Jack.

 

We thus at this point get a dramatic slow-motion montage of the various conflicts, with Shepard and Banes being evenly matched in their hand-to-hand fight, Garrus and Kaidan respectively pinned down by covering fire, the Cerberus soldiers picking off Council security guards. At this point Gillian tries to break free and the man guarding her struggles with her, and the struggle has brought him out of cover and Kaidan is able to shoot him. He looks at Gillian, nudges his head towards Zero/Jack, and mouths “Help her.”

 

Gillian nods, and with everyone fully distracted, walks towards Zero/Jack again, who is severely straining. Seeing Gillian, she says “Please…go. You’re going to die if you don’t.” Gillian says she isn’t going anywhere. “Friends don’t leave one another.” We see tears run down Zero/Jack’s face and she says she can’t stop. “I have to do this.” Gillian replies that no one can make her do anything she doesn’t want to do. “You’re stronger than them.”

 

“No, she isn’t.” Grayson’s voice is heard as he appears behind Gillian. “She is weak. And this is how she proves she can be strong.” Gillian looks at her dad with contempt and says she can’t believe she never noticed what a horrible person he was. Grayson, staring her down, tells her to stand aside, leave, and let Zero finish her work. Gillian stands firm.

 

 “This is more important than anything, even you.” And Grayson points his pistol at Gillian.

 

Zero/Jack, seeing this, looks at her hands, the bright blue-white energy surrounding them, and says “No”, and suddenly a massive beam of biotic energy blasts from them and smashes into Grayson, dissolving him. The beam continues on and smashes into the side of the chamber and blasts a hole in it, rumbling the whole building. This unsteadies the Cerberus soldiers on the rim, and Garrus is able to use the distraction to cut them down. In the main chamber, Grayson’s other two guards swivel their guns at this development and Kaidan picks them off as they try to gun down Gillian and Zero/Jack. Up top, the rumble shakes the catwalk and Banes uses the distraction to deliver a heavy blow to Shepard and she falls over the side, barely hanging onto a railing. Banes, seeing everything gone to hell, books it. Shepard hauls herself back up and follows in pursuit.

 

In the main chamber, Jack, shaking heavily, falls to her knees, the energy around her not subsiding and cackling viciously. She says she can’t hold it, it’s too much. Gillian squats next to her and says she can control it. “You don’t want this.” Kaidan walks over cautiously just as a bunch of security guards show up with weapons drawn. He stands between them and Gillian and Jack and shouts at them not to shoot, it’s under control. He looks at Gillian “Help her, fast.”

 

Garrus reaches the catwalk area and finds Banes’ sniper rifle. He picks it up and rushes off.

 

Shepard pursues Banes to the side entrance down below and comes out to see him jumping into a waiting speeder, there being two of them. His guards open fire and Shepard is forced to take cover as the speeders take off. Shepard immediately rushes to the one she and Garrus had and takes off in pursuit, radioing everyone on the team.

 

Anderson over the radio instructs Joker to get moving. Garrus requests a pickup. Anderson than asks Kaidan what the situation is. The film cuts to Kaidan, still warily standing between Gillian/Jack and security guards, saying via his earpiece that the chamber is secure. “But maybe you can get in here and help me talk security down.”

 

Inside, Jack is still straining to keep her power from not exploding out and Gillian tentatively reaches out towards her. Jack tells her to stay back, she doesn’t want to hurt her, and Gillian replies that she won’t. Gillian’s hand touches Jack’s shoulder and she says “It’s okay, you can let it go.” Jack, with heaving deep breathes, slowly stops shaking, and the biotic energy around her fades out. Exhausted, Jack collapses, crying, and Gillian gives her a hug. Kaidan, watching all this, turns back to the security and says “See, there’s no threat here.”

 

We cut back to Shepard pursuing Banes in her speeder. Banes’ speeder and the one escorting him weave in and out of the voluminous civilian traffic, trying to shake her off, but she matches every dodge and turn. Banes takes the wheel of his craft and tells his driver to shoot her, and we see a Cerberus operative lean out a window of the craft and fire an automatic rifle at Shepard’s speeder. The other Cerberus speeder has someone do the same.

 

We see a speeder land near Garrus by the side entrance and he climbs in. Joker’s voice over the comms says he has manual control.

 

Back at the chase, we see Shepard’s airspeeder has been hit a few times. We do see however a couple civilian craft get caught in the crossfire and make crash landings on pavilions. Shepard maintains pursuit, but another burst from Banes’ escort damages the stabilizer, and she has to fight to maintain control. Banes tells the escort to finish her off, but before the escort speeder can do that, the driver looks up and suddenly swerves, narrowly avoiding a speeder intervening. It is Joker’s, and he shouts taunts that obviously have no chance at being heard. We see Joker is not only driving his speeder, he is also using a viewscreen and joystick to remote pilot a second speeder that he is keeping above and back, and he is coordinating both expertly. Banes shouts over his comms to shoot them down, and the escort speeder focuses on taking out Joker while Banes’ bodyguard continues to shoot at Shepard’s craft.

 

At this point the chase is entering an engineering area of the Citadel that has power plants, recycling centers, incinerators, etc. Joker, laser focused, looks at the speeder tangling with him and says “Just a little more, asshole”. The escort speeder ceases maneuvers and lines up in front of Joker’s vehicle. The passenger opens fire, and damages Joker’s speeder, but Joker smiles and says “Gotcha” and pushes hard on the joystick for the remote controlled one. The passenger in the escort looks up with an “oh shit” look and the remote-control speeder plows into the escort craft and both vehicles plummet to the ground. Joker, his own vehicle shuddering, tells Shepard Banes’ escort is down, but he has to land. Shepard acknowledges, her craft a bit more riddled by this point.

 

Shepard pulls alongside Banes’ vehicle. The two look at one another for a second, and then Shepard slams her vehicle sideways into Banes’. The two vehicles collide, bounce apart, and then Shepard does it again, and Banes’ vehicle careens towards the ground, Shepard’s also being damaged too much. Both speeders crash-land in what looks to be an automated garbage and incinerator center. Shepard, a bit battered, climbs out of her wreckage and stumbles over to where Banes’ speeder is, and finds his bodyguard dead, but no sign of him other than drops of blood splattered in one direction. Shepard radios her position to Garrus and says Banes is on foot, she is in pursuit. She stumbles in the direction Banes went.

 

We briefly cut back to the Council tower. Sanders arrives to see the few surviving Cerberus operatives in custody, and Kaidan and Anderson still standing between the security forces and Jack and Gillian. The security is demanding to take Jack into custody. Sanders intervenes to say that Jack is as much a victim as anyone else, pointing out the chemical and psychological torture used to manipulate her. The security forces are still on edge, but relent when Hackett steps over and says that the woman is a former ward of the Alliance, so he is taking responsibility for her. The head of the security force says that Executor Pallin won’t like this, and Hackett replies “With all due respect to the Executor, he can fuck off.”

 

Garrus lands in the area where Shepard and Banes crashed. He exits his speeder, taking the sniper rifle with him, and after examining the location, sprints off to find some elevation.

 

Cut to Shepard, still following the blood spatter trail up through the machinery and conveyors, when suddenly Banes leaps at her from the side, slamming her into a wall. “Thought I taught you to not walk into a trap” he snarls. He points a pistol at her, but Shepard yanks a vent that directs steam at Banes and he has to dodge out of the way. She gets up close and knocks his gun away, and the two get into a brutal hand to hand fight that goes across the area, including a stretch where they fight on a conveyor belt, dodging swinging machinery as they do, until Banes, bloodied, jumps onto a floating cargo platform slowly moving across the incinerator itself, landing with twist of an ankle, and Shepard, fairly injured, limps into a run and jumps after him, landing with a painful thud. Both get to their feet, glaring at one another.

 

BANES: This could have been the turning point for humanity, Shepard. The Council, its leadership, its allies, all crippled, thrown into chaos. We could have used that to break free, make ourselves the independent power we deserve to be!

SHEPARD: You’re delusional! The rest of the galaxy would have assumed all of humanity was responsible! They would have united, and they would have crushed us!

BANES *spitting out blood*: Maybe, maybe not. But I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees, and there’s a lot more people out there who feel the same.

SHEPARD: Well, soon there’ll be one less of them.

 

The two resume their hand-to-hand combat, trading punches, elbows, etc. Both are tired, exhausted, and eventually Banes gets the upper hand, tripping up Shepard and forcing her to the ground. “Yield!” he shouts at her, but she responds by hitting him in the side of the head and trying to break free, but he recovers and pins her down, his hands around her throat. He starts to strangle her, and Shepard struggles back, the two staring at one another. As they look in each other’s eyes, Banes for a second hesitates, his grip relaxes, and then suddenly a gunshot rings out and Banes is knocked off Shepard. Shepard looks in the direction the gunshot came from and we see Garrus on a perch, looking down the barrel of the sniper rifle.

 

Shepard turns her attention back to Banes, who is struggling to his feet. She stands up as well. Banes looks at the wound in the abdomen, then at Shepard, and smiles, and then tumbles backwards over the side of the platform. As he falls down towards the incinerator below, his plummet is suddenly arrested, and we see Shepard reaching over the side, having grabbed an arm. He looks up at her and for the first time in a while we hear the Banes Shepard had admired. “Let me go. Let it end.” Instead, Shepard, straining, strength pulls Banes up back onto the platform. As he lays there, bleeding, she stands over him and says “I’ve killed you once, and it nearly broke me. I’m not going through that again. You’ll answer to someone other than me.” Shepard, exhausted, sits down in a squat a few feet from Banes as we hear sirens in the background.

 

The film cuts to Shepard waking up in a hospital bed, Chakwas standing over her. “Took a pretty long nap there” she says. Shepard asks how long she was out and Chakwas says about a day. Shepard asks about everyone else, the attack and Chakwas says everyone else is fine, the attack was stopped. She helps Shepard out of bed and leaves a uniform for Shepard to get dressed in.

 

Cut to Shepard entering a waiting room where Anderson, Kaidan, Joker, Sanders, and Garrus are waiting. They’re happy to see her up and about. Anderson says Banes is locked up tight and will eventually be transferred to the darkest hole they can find for him. Shepard asks about Gillian and Jack and Sanders says Gillian is back on the Normandy. As for Jack… “that’s what needs to be figured out.”

 

Cut to Udina’s office, where we see him, Hackett, Executor Pallin, Anderson, Shepard, and Sanders. Pallin demands that Jack be handed over to his custody, which Anderson denies. Udina tries to mediate some sort of compromise, but Shepard will have none of that, saying that Cerberus got that kid hooked on drugs, pumped them into her until it flowed out of her eyes, and used military-grade indoctrination tactics on her. They get her fully cleaned, and she’s fine. Pallin says even if that is true, she is incredibly dangerous, and would be a weapon in the wrong hands. Sanders glares and says she is not a thing, she is a person. At this point Hackett reminds Pallin that Pallin discredited them when they offered to help, and “without us, you’d be short a Council. So, perhaps you should realize you owe us.” Pallin and grumbles a string of Turian curse words, and then says fine, they can keep her. “But I want her off my station within 24 hours.” “Fine with us” Anderson says. Pallin storms off.

 

Hackett turns to Anderson and says “Well Captain, you have your orders. Get our students back to the Ascension Project where they belong.” Anderson says gladly and he and Shepard salute, and then leave with Sanders.

 

We then get a scene where Shepard meets Garrus by the docking bay to thank him for his help, saying he’s pretty good. “Not so bad yourself” Garrus says with a wry smile. They shake hands and Garrus says the next time she’s on the Citadel, drinks are on him.

 

On the Normandy, we see Anderson and Sanders talk in his office, lounging on his couch. Sanders tells Anderson that she has been in contact with her father, and he wants to make things right, and she wants to take him up on that. Anderson says that’s good to hear, and then Sanders says “Well, with Paul Grayson dead, the Alliance is looking for someone to replace him at the Ascension Project, and they’ve offered the position to me.” Anderson says she’s going to accept, isn’t she. Sanders nods and says she has always been a researcher at heart, and not only will this give her a chance to reconnect with her father, it’ll make sure there is someone truly looking out for those kids. Anderson says that he is going to miss having her around. Sanders says she’ll miss being here too, and then, with a sly smile, adds “But, now that I have quit my post here, I can do this” and she kisses him. Anderson is surprised, then reciprocates, and the two make out.

 

We then get a scene with Kaidan visiting Gillian in her quarters. He asks how she’s holding up and she says “It’s been a little overwhelming.” Kaidan says it should get back to relatively normal once they are back at the Ascension Project. He adds he is sorry about her father and Gillian says she is too, but she wonders how long was he pretending to be the dad she loved. Kaidan goes to leave and she says “Thanks, for believing me, for trusting me.” Kaidan turns and responds. “I was once where you were, where your friend was. Only got through it with the help of friends. Had to give you the chance to do the same.”

 

In the cockpit, Shepard plops into the seat next to Joker with an exaggerated sigh. Joker says “hell of first visit to the Citadel, huh?” Shepard nods and says “Nice place overall, hopefully next time is pure R&R.” Joker says that would be nice, “but probably not, huh.” Shepard shakes her head with a comical scrunched-up face and says “Nah.” The two chuckle and the Normandy undocks from the Citadel and zooms out to space, zooming through a mass relay.

 

The film cuts to a transport approaching a large space station that orbits a red giant star. Dr. Coré walks through corridors until she reaches a sealed door. The door unlocks itself and opens on Coré’s approach. Coré steps into a large personal observation chamber, overlooking the massive star. There are a few amenities, but the only one of note is a chair sitting in front of an array of holographic displays, which shut off as Coré approaches. The chair’s occupant, cigarette in one hand, glass of whiskey in the other stands up. “You summoned me?” Coré asks expectantly.

 

The man turns to face her. “I did, we can consider Banes’ operation. Yes, it failed and we lost assets, but the research gains… I consider it not a total loss.” The Illusive Man (uncredited cameo by Jon Hamm) smiles as cigarette smoke wafts up around him. The Illusive Man adds “Besides, Banes served his greatest purpose on Luna. I would like you to oversee that project. We’ll be lying low for some time, to let things settle.” Coré nods and says that Banes’ Alliance protégé, Shepard, proved to be quite capable, and could be a formidable adversary. The Illusive Man smiles and takes a drink.

 

“She is just one person, but, yes, even a single person can prove to be an obstacle.” Coré asks if he intends to deal with her somehow. The Illusive Man shakes his head and says on the contrary, he will let her flourish and thrive. When Coré asks why, the Illusive flashes a devilish smile.

 

“Because, Dr. Coré, there will come a time when Shepard realizes that she, and humanity, needs our help. And when that time comes, we’ll be ready to collect on that debt.”

 

We then get a short montage showing characters moving on. Sanders is shown lecturing a class of biotic students at the Ascension Project. We see Sanders sitting down for a meal with Grissom, who is still in recovery, and the two talk. We see Jack in her room, huddled under a blanket, going through withdrawal, as Gillian brings Jack her homework and the two chat sitting next to one another. And finally, we see a shuttle flying to a hulk of a prison ship floating in space. After docking, several guards escort a manacled to a cell and shoved in. As he sits down in the empty cell, he looks ahead with a blank expression, and then, a slight smile.

 

The film cuts to Arcturus Station, with the command crew of the Normandy all together in the officer’s lounge, having a good time. As they do so, Kaidan talks to Shepard and asks her, out of curiosity, why she spared Banes. Shepard, sipping her drink, thinks and then says that he hesitated instead of finishing her off, and that made her think that maybe there was a piece of the man she considered her brother to still be in there. “And if there was, maybe one day he’d come back.” She says if she let him die, she’d always think about what might have been. Now though, she has her closure. “To healing old wounds” Kaidan says, raising his glass. Shepard clinks her glass against his and finishes her drink off with a smile. The camera holds a shot of everyone together, talking, laughing, having a good time, before zooming out through the station, into space, where it holds a wide shot of the space station before fading to black and the credits roll.

 

 

*POST-CREDIT SCENE*

 

Spoiler

 

We see a lush and vibrant planet, only lightly settled. At a farm, a human woman drives a hover-tractor over one of her fields, and we overhear from a radio in the vehicle that several months have passed since the events at the Citadel. She drives along, until there is a loud clang and then scraping sound and the hover-tractor shakes. The woman brings the vehicle to a halt and climbs down to see what happened. She sees just behind the tractor a chunk of metal poking out of the ground. She goes and squats down by it to take a closer took, brushing dirt away with her hands, and we see her eyes go wide.

 

The film cuts to a hovercar approaching the same field, which is now overrun with giant prefab tents, scientific equipment, security guards, etc. The hovercar pulls up to the edge of the encampment, and a young Asari woman is helped out of the vehicle, and she meets the chief scientist, a human man wearing a biohazard suit. “Welcome to Eden Prime, Dr. T’soni” the scientist says. “Excuse the garb, but first contact protocols and all, don’t want cross-contamination.” Dr. Liara T’Soni (uncredited cameo by Bella Heathcote) says that is wise and asks the scientist to take her to “it”. The scientist nods and escorts her through the camp to a central barren area encircling the object. “Thanks for coming on such short notice” the scientist says. “We wanted someone knowledgeable in the field, and well, it is a very small list.” Liara says most think there is nothing left of the Protheans to discover. “Clearly” she says, looking up at something with awe, “they were wrong.”

 

The film cuts to a wide-angle shot of Liara and the scientist from behind, looking up at a tall, slender, obelisk, runes in the side glowing and shimmering.

 

 

 

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Just now, YourMother the Edgelord said:

@Blankments why the not cool reactions?

because i was gonna post something tonight for front-page real-estate and yet there are a ton of useless posts on the front page

 

i not cool'd every preload without a prologue, so it's nothing personal

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1 minute ago, Blankments said:

because i was gonna post something tonight for front-page real-estate and yet there are a ton of useless posts on the front page

 

i not cool'd every preload without a prologue, so it's nothing personal

Nothing is stopping you from posting the something.

 

I presume it’s CV?

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Just now, YourMother the Edgelord said:

Nothing is stopping you from posting the something.

 

I presume it’s CV?

lmao no carmen's voyage isn't even outlined yet and whatever film i have is being sat on for a bit anyway because i was only gonna post it tonight for the front page, now i'll sit on it a bit until i have some more movies done

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@Xillix  Because Red Dead Redemption would most likely not be ready, rather than kill myself trying to finish it, I am dropping this film in its place, same date, same IMAX.

 

A 2.0, Year 1 import with some minor edits, and some casting changes. So it is fully done.

 

 

 

Hired Guns

 

Genre: Western/Action

Cast: Adam Driver (Smith), Josh Brolin (Jackson), Jon Hamm (Marshal Weathers), Mahershala Ali (Reeves), Ewan McGregor (Oliver Hamwich), Armie Hammer (Joshua Tynford), Jon Bernthal (Broyles), Pedro Pascal (Almeida), with Bryan Cranston (Morton), and Bruce Greenwood (Lawrence Tynford)

Written and Directed By: David Michod

Original Score by Antony Partos

Release Date: 8/19

Release Platform: 3427 theaters

Budget: $75 Million

Running Time: 132 Minutes

MPAA Rating: R for graphic violence and strong language

 

Plot: (Everything in Italics is a “flashback.”

 

1868, Colorado Territory. A wealthy land baron, Lawrence Tynford, has placed a $25,000 bounty on a man. Five men, all of them with a background for their skills as gunmen, have answered the call individually.

 

They are: Reeves (Ali), Broyles (Bernthal), Oliver Hamwich (McGregor), Almeida (Pascal), and Smith (Driver).

 

All have done so for different reasons.

 

Spoiler

 

The opening credits play across a shot of a dusty and rocky hilltop with a small shack. After the credits end a man exits the shack to stand guard but is approached by a second man too far away to identify. The guard tenses up and after a couple seconds reaches for his gun but we see the second man (Josh Brolin) quick-draw his gun and shoot the guard.

 

The scene changes to show the same shack shown in the first scene, but with the five hired guns arriving at it one by one and waiting inside. Of the five, Hamwich and Broyles are chatty about their past exploits and what they plan to accomplish, Smith and Reeves say little pleasantries but are polite, and Almeida is silent. The 5 are met there by Joshua Tynford (Hammer), Lawrence’s son, who informs the five that there is a man, Jackson (Brolin), who his father wants to be brought to him. Why there is a bounty is none of their business. The reward for capturing the man and bringing him back to the shack is $25,000. The man was last seen in the nearby town of Destiny, looking to escape eastwards. The men can work together if they wish, or split up on their own. With that information delivered Joshua goes back to his horse and rides off.

 

This leaves the five hired guns to work things out on their own. Reeves makes the sensible suggestion that they all work together because it would be easier without having to worry about getting in one another’s way. Hamwich makes a crack that Reeves is just too weak to go it alone and taunts him, which almost starts a fight then and there. Broyles says he’ll join a group as long as no one in it double-crosses them. Almeida finally speaks, saying that if any of them gets in his way that they’ll regret it. Smith says he is fine with a group and Hamwich gives in as well. The five ride off towards Destiny. As they ride, a shot of them in the distance pulls back to show Joshua watching them from a hillside.

 

As another man rides to beside him he comments “They’re on their way.” The other man is his father, Lawrence Tynford (Greenwood), the man who placed the bounty. Lawrence is pleased and tells Joshua to take a band of gunmen to Golden City. Joshua asks if he doubts the hired guns can do the job. Lawrence replies “If we’re lucky, they’ll drive him right into our hands and we won’t have to pay a dime.” Joshua is hesitant about playing known killers for fools but Lawrence berates him for being cautious, so Joshua rolls over and agrees to follow through.

 

The screen fades to black and we hear a gunshot. We then see the aftermath of the scene from the beginning. The shot guard is twitching on the ground and the shooter, Jackson, walks up to him. Jackson asks if “it” is still inside the shack. The guard refuses to answer so Jackson shoots him in the leg. The guard due to pain confesses that “it” is still inside. Jackson smiles, shoots the guard a third time, and walks inside the shack.

 

The closing of the shack door instantly shifts to the opening of a door to a saloon in at night. Marshal Weathers (Jon Hamm), the county marshal, enters, looking for somebody. He walks up to a table with people playing cards and leans over the shoulder of one person and says “You’ve got a bad hand.” Jackson looks up at him and replies “I think I got the pot won.” Weathers replies “I’m not talking about the card game.” Jackson excuses himself and follows Weathers out of the saloon. Weathers tells Jackson about a bounty placed on him and that bounty hunters are sure to already be on their way. When Weathers asks Jackson what he did Jackson replies that he took something valuable. Weathers says that he can’t risk Destiny turning into a bloodbath if the bounty hunters show up so he says that in order to keep the town peaceful, and “for old times sake”, he’ll escort him to Golden City to catch a train east.

 

The five hired guns are camping to pass the night. They’re gathered around a campfire and some are swapping stories. One particular story from Hamwich about his journey across the Atlantic to America leaves most of the group, aside from Almeida, greatly amused. Almeida is pressed by Hamwich to share a tale, and he obliges, telling with a stone face a gruesome tale about how one time, the man who hired him for a job double-crossed him and left him for dead, “but he didn’t check my body.” Almeida, slowly with hints of glee, recounts how after he recovered, he tracked down the men who worked for his employer and killed them, one by one, and then went on to the employer’s family, one by one, each death more terrible after the other. Everyone else is struck silent as Almeida finishes the story by telling how he buried the employer up to his neck in the desert, not far from a mound of fire ants. “That satisfy your curiosity” Almeida asks. The mood sufficiently killed, one by one they all fall asleep, Smith and Reeves the last two, and they talk a little briefly before nodding off as well.

 

After the screen fades to black the scene shifts to a family doing chores outside their small but comfortable home. The home is in the middle of the Colorado wilderness. The father tells a boy of about eight to go inside and grab a couple tools. The boy rushes inside. He has some trouble reaching the toolbox on a high shelf due to his being short but he eventually gets it. Right after he grabs it is the crack of several gunshots coming from outside.

 

At this point Smith wakes up startled, implying it was a dream or a memory. Silence is broken by the cursing of Broyles elsewhere. Smith cautiously sits up and sees Reeves and Hamwich doing the same thing. Of Almeida there is no trace. Broyles meanwhile starts gathering his gear. Smith asks what he’s doing. Broyles replies “If we’re not all in this together, I’m going on my own.” He finishes packing and then rides off towards town. There is silence as they watch him leave, and then noise is heard from Hamwich’s side of the camp. He’s packing up too. After wishing Smith and Reeves luck a bit mockingly with a tip of his bowler hat he rides off. There is a moment of awkward tension between Smith and Reeves but they decide to stay together since someone like Jackson is bound to have protection.

 

Meanwhile Hamwich catches up to Broyles, who claims he could’ve taken Hamwich out from 300 yards away. Hamwich jests that Broyles could if Hamwich was the size of an ironclad. Hamwich says that too large a group could never work, but a pair could. Broyles smiles and says that the Tynfords aren’t the only ones who want Jackson for a bounty. Broyles says if they grab Jackson, they can then drive up his price by playing the bounty givers off against each other. Hamwich is delighted at the idea of making even more money and says Jackson will regret pissing off so many people.

 

Jackson and Weathers ride out of Destiny with a couple deputies as escort. Weathers says that they’ll probably have a good head start to Golden City and there should be a train there to head east. Weathers asks what Jackson took to get this bounty placed and Jackson says that it’s better if Weathers doesn’t know. “Once you get me on that train, then I won’t be your problem anymore.”

 

As they ride, the camera has a long-distance shot from a hill that pulls back to show Almeida observing on his horse as he sharpens a knife. He then starts to guide his horse in the same direction.

 

Smith and Reeves arrive in Destiny and decide to check the saloon for information. Reeves makes small talk with the bartender, who clams up about Jackson’s presence. Smith meanwhile joins a poker game with the same players from the previous night. They play a few hands as Smith chats them up and eventually one of the players lets something about Jackson slip. The others tell him to shut up and threaten Smith, who advises them not to do something foolish. This escalates into a fight where Smith beats up the threatening players and Reeves shoots down one guy in the back who tried to knife Smith from behind. Smith and Reeves then drag the talker outside and intimidate him into informing them that Jackson went towards Golden City with some guards and the marshal. They then let the talker go and saddle up for Golden City. As they go, we see Hamwich and Broyles coming out of a different building. Broyles observes that the way those two are moving they have some good info and tells Hamwich they’ll follow from a fair distance.

 

That night, Smith and Reeves are camped and talk a bit to pass the time. We learn that Reeves is an escaped slave who upon returning for his family at an Arkansas plantation after the Civil War ended was forced to kill the former owner and overseer who were brutalizing the now freed slaves as sharecroppers. The bounty will get him a lot of money needed to move them away for a good life. Reeves asks about Smith’s background. Smith brushes off the question and says they should rest.

 

We also see a scene between Broyles and Hamwich at their campsite. Broyles is confident that they can grab Jackson from under the noses of the other hunters. Hamwich is brooding a little and upon prodding says that hunting Jackson is personal for him. It turns out that Hamwich and Jackson’s families were in a major feud a couple decades ago in Ireland and Hamwich wants to settle the feud once and for all by taking Jackson, since Jackson’s father killed Hamwich’s father and other relatives. Broyles asks Hamwich if he’ll keep his cool and Hamwich says he will.

 

The scene changes to Golden City under the morning sun. Weathers, Jackson, and the couple men they brought are arming themselves in a hotel room. Weathers tells the two deputies to patrol the area and tells Jackson he is going to the city sheriff to ask him to put his men on alert. Jackson thanks him but Weathers says that it’ll be better for them all if Jackson doesn’t show himself in Colorado again. Weathers then leaves as Jackson fidgets with a rusty key in his hands.

 

In another hotel some distance away, Joshua and his gunmen are waiting. Another gunman comes in to say that he just learned that Jackson arrived the previous night with some protection. Joshua sends two men to the train station as a failsafe and tells the others to spread out through town and just observe, not to engage without getting permission to.

 

Weathers meets with the city sheriff and explains that Jackson is being gunned for and his best protection is to leave on the noon train. The sheriff agrees to send his handful of deputies around town to keep the peace. While this goes on, one of Weathers’ own deputies notices a man entering an alley and follows him. It turns out the man is Almeida, who quickly kills the deputy with a throwing knife. Almeida hides the body and then climbs up a building to bide his time.

 

Smith and Reeves arrive in Golden City and talk a bit about how the land is changing with the encroachment of the railroads and the “civilization” the follows behind. Reeves doesn’t care since he only plans to be in the West to get money and then leave so he can get his family north. They also remark about Broyles and Hamwich following them and agree to be careful of them and Almeida. Broyles and Hamwich arrive via a different street. Broyles says he will cover Hamwich from a sniper perch and goes to a rooftop to set up position. Hamwich meanwhile tenses up and waits for the moment to come.

 

That moment comes when Jackson exits his hotel onto a side street and is seen by one of Joshua’s ruffians. The man defies Joshua’s order and demands Jackson surrender. Jackson instead shoots the man in the head. The gunshot sends the townspeople into a panic and sets both lawmen and gunmen into action. Jackson rushes into the main street where he is confronted by another gunman who he shoots down instantly. Joshua hears the shots in his hotel room and, cursing a storm about incompetent hired help, rushes outside to join up with his men. Weathers hears the shots and rushes into the streets with the sheriff. They take five steps when a stray bullet blows the sheriff’s head off and Weathers has to kill a rogue gunman shooting wildly.

 

Their deputies are yelling at townsfolk to head indoors and also trying to halt anyone carrying a weapon. One of them shouts at Hamwich to stop where he is but gets shot instead. Another deputy sees this and fires at Hamwich, the two of them trading shots. Hamwich gets the deputy three times but he is hit in return in the shoulder. Broyles, after sniping one of Joshua’s gunmen from his perch, shouts down at Hamwich to get into an alley and loop around to the train station. Hamwich nods and goes to do that. Broyles then sees Jackson a fair ways down another street and tries to snipe him, but Jackson is able to dodge and enters a building to exit out the other side. Broyles swears and starts running across the rooftops to find a new angle of fire.

 

Meanwhile Smith and Reeves are trying to pursue but are attacked by one of Joshua’s men on instinct. They shoot him but then Almeida jumps down from a perch and wordlessly stabs Reeves in the gut with a knife. He then tries to stab Smith but Smith fends him off and the two get into a brief fistfight before Almeida scampers off. Smith checks on Reeves, who is alive but badly hurt. Reeves tells Smith to go and Smith hesitates to leave but then does so when he hears a voice from behind shouting at him. That voice is Weathers’ and he rushes up to Reeves, who is going into shock. Weathers at first thinks to pursue Almeida and Smith, but then curses and decides to stop Reeves’ bleeding. Reeves thanks him but Weathers says coldly “Don’t thank me. Only reason I’m not letting you bleed out is because you have information I need.”

 

The gunfight now sprawls over the town, as everyone tries to get to the train station. Almeida shoots one of the local deputies and then hides behind a shack as he sees Joshua and a couple men rush into a building to take cover. Almeida’s face shows he recognizes them, and he starts to shadow them. Jackson gets near the station and sees the two men Joshua sent. They shoot at him but then one of Weathers’ deputies shows up and shoots one, Jackson then killing the other. The deputy starts to escort Jackson to the station, but then Broyles appears on a nearby roof and snipes the deputy. Jackson dives into the train station for safety. Broyles then sees Hamwich and motions for him to go around the side but wait for him. Hamwich instead spots Jackson moving and rushes towards the station, prompting Broyles to curse at Hamwich’s impatience. As the train approaches the station, Jackson is surprised by Hamwich and held at gunpoint. Hamwich is weakened from his shoulder wound but still confident. He tells Jackson that he’s finally going to settle the feud that involved their families. Before he can say another word Jackson fires a single shot from a pistol he had hidden under his jacket that tears through Hamwich’s throat. As Hamwich twitches on the floor and dies Jackson says “I think I’ll settle it instead.”

 

The train appears in the distance and glides on the rails to the station, slowing down just enough for Jackson to run alongside and hop into a doorway. Smith meanwhile has gotten onto the roof of a building near the tracks and jumps onto the top of the train, entering it via the caboose. The train pulls out of the station before anyone else can board it.

 

Joshua curses as the train pulls out of Golden City and hears two gunshots behind him. He turns to find his escorts drop dead and an angry-looking Almeida not far away. Almeida accuses Joshua of setting the hunters all up and says he doesn’t like surprises like that. “You weren’t there when I told the story of the last employer who tried to cut me out.” Joshua blames it all on his father and says Lawrence’s paranoia is hurting business. He offers Almeida a bonus to work with him to get Jackson and to also dispose of his father at the end of things. Almeida after a few seconds accepts, but says that another mistake by Joshua will be his last. They gather up a couple surviving gunmen and exit town for the next train station to the east. Broyles enters the station in town and comments “what a waste” when he sees Hamwich’s body. He then mounts up and rides southeast on a path to interest the railroad when it turns south. Finally, Weathers and a surviving deputy of the local sheriff get Reeves into the local doctor’s office and tell the doctor to do whatever it takes to save the wounded hunter. Weathers goes outside and sighs as he surveys the carnage in the town.

 

The scene shifts to a sizable ranch in the desert. Inside a large parlor Lawrence is describing a job that he wants done while his son looks on. Lawrence tells of a carriage coming from New Mexico that is holding something that he wants and that it is worth more money than many can dream of. Six people are being told about the job. One of them is Jackson, another is the man that Jackson later kills at the shack. Lawrence says that once they take the carriage they are to bring it to that shack. The scene changes to show the job being carried out. The six men set an ambush in a canyon. In a fast and violent shootout all of the guards are wiped out along with three of the hired men. Jackson and the two other survivors inspect the carriage and find a locked chest. They take the chest to the shack where the one man Jackson later kills says he’ll watch over it while the other two deliver the news. On the way out Jackson convinces the other man to let him return to the shack. The man agrees and Jackson rides back.

 

On the train, Jackson is prodded awake by Smith, who points a gun at him. Jackson is unprepared and he tries to talk Smith out of turning him in. He says he can lead Smith to things worth far more than the bounty on him and adds that if Smith keeps him safe from others while he retrieves them he’ll become a very rich man. Smith agrees, but says that he doesn’t trust Jackson. Jackson replies that he doesn’t trust Smith so they’re even.

 

Back in Golden City Weathers is waiting outside the doctor’s building. He is told by the town’s remaining deputy that over a dozen men have been killed in the sprawling shootout and that some of them are criminals with links to powerful men. Weathers mutters that his friend’s in deeper trouble than he thought. The doctor then comes out and tells him that Reeves will probably live but that he needs some time to heal. Weathers instead briskly walks inside and starts interrogating Reeves. When Reeves is reluctant to say some answers Weathers puts pressure on Reeves’ wound, causing him pain. After a little of this Reeves relents and tells Weathers about the man (Joshua) who hired them. Weathers tells Reeves they’ll talk more later and tells the doctor to make sure Reeves doesn’t die. He then tells the deputy to use the telegraph to warn the lawmen at the next station east about criminals showing up.

 

The deputy goes to the Golden City telegraph office to send that message. After he does that and leaves, a shifty-looking man enters and sends a message of his own. That message goes to a good-sized town some distance away and a telegram is quickly delivered to a fancy-looking office building, where it is handed to an unknown man (Bryan Cranston) who reads it with concern. When a lackey asks “Mr. Morton” what the matter is, Morton replies that it seems he now has a chance to recoup an “investment.”

 

The train has traveled on for a little while longer when Jackson looks out a window and says that it is time to go. Smith follows Jackson to the caboose. Jackson immediately leaps off the train to the ground and Smith does the same. Jackson whistles, summoning a pair of escorts who bring a few horses and a wagon. Jackson tells Smith that he has everyone running east for the next train station when in fact he’ll be doubling back west. The two lackeys are nervous about Smith but Jackson calms them. The two lackeys ride alongside the wagon as escorts while Jackson and Smith ride in the wagon. As they drive off Jackson exclaims that in a couple days they’ll be as rich as kings. The camera then slowly pulls back to show that they are being watched from a hilltop by a man on horseback, Broyles, who has managed to intersect the train tracks. He cracks a confident smile and says “Gotcha.”

 

The next day the train from Golden City has pulled into the station at the next town on the tracks eastward. Joshua, Almeida, and their men get there minutes before the train does after some intense riding. After some scouting they discover that Jackson is not on the train. Joshua sulks at being outfoxed and says he has no clue where to look for him. Almeida says that there is another half to their arrangement and that if Joshua backs out a second time it will be fatal. Joshua agrees and says they’ll go to the meeting shack at once. Almeida then adds that he knows a couple of the hired guns survived Golden City. If they manage to find Jackson and capture him, Almeida wants to be the one to kill them when they bring him in. Joshua quickly agrees. On the way out of town they are stopped by the local sheriff and a couple deputies, who find them suspicious. Joshua tries to talk his way out of the issue but Almeida instead quick-draws and shoots all three lawmen. Joshua’s startled reaction indicates that he is in over-his-head (since at no point did he ever actually participate in the Golden City shootout).

 

The screen fades to black and we hear several gunshots. Then the screen immediately cuts to show the boy in the house from the flashback before, dropping the toolbox. As he stands he hears his father’s voice shouting in despair followed by more gunshots. Though frightened beyond belief the boy is compelled to look outside. He slowly goes to the door and then opens it to reveal his family dead from multiple gunshot wounds. The boy rushes to his mother’s side and kneels down in disbelief and grief. The boy looks away from the house to see a group of five men some distance away though it isn’t possible to see their faces. As they start to walk over Jackson’s voice is heard saying “Wake up.”

 

The scene instantly changes to Smith being woken up by Jackson at a campsite the following morning. Jackson says they’re close to the site and both climb into the wagon. As they drive Smith asks Jackson why he decided to piss off one of the most powerful men in the territory. Jackson says that times are changing and that soon enough there won’t be any place for men like the two of them. So, if he has a chance to strike it rich for life, he’ll take it. Smith nods and asks if Jackson thought about offing him in his sleep. Jackson smirks and says he thought about it, but since Smith seems like the type who’d work for the highest bidder, and Jackson right now is the highest bidder, he’s safe.

 

They then arrive at a patch of land at the base of a hill and Jackson’s goons are standing by a patch of freshly altered dirt with shovels in hand. Jackson orders them to start digging and while they do so Smith asks him why he didn’t move whatever’s buried earlier. Jackson says he wanted to make sure a buyer was lined up first. Smith asks who that buyer is and Jackson replies “The guy I stole it from the first time.”

 

Soon the two goons hit solid wood and uncover a chest. Jackson tells the two goons to get out and asks Smith to help him take the chest out. As the two of them get into the hole to lift the chest a gunshot rings out. Both Smith and Jackson crouch in the hole and see one of the goons fall to the ground with a bullet hole in his head. Over the rustling of the wind they then hear the voice of Broyles “I got you boys pinned down! You better just surrender now instead of dragging this out.” The other goon trades a couple shots with Broyles, but Broyles has elevation advantage and is a sharpshooter so he is quickly able to blow the head off of that goon. This leaves Smith and Jackson pinned down in the hole as Broyles taunts them from above. Jackson tries to bribe Broyles but Broyles responds that he has a reputation to maintain.

 

Smith comes up with the plan of Jackson leaping out of the hole and running for cover. Since Jackson is supposed to be brought in alive Broyles will only be aiming to wound and it will distract him. Jackson objects at first since Broyles could miss by hitting him someplace vital, but Smith convinces him it’s their best option. Jackson sighs and does what was suggested. Up at his perch Broyles says “stupid,” and fires a shot that hits a running Jackson in the left leg. He turns back towards the hole to see Smith already out and with a rifle aimed. He sees the rifle flash and can only say “Sh-” before a bullet tears through his forehead. Smith walks over to Jackson, who has put a makeshift tourniquet on his left leg. Jackson asks “You got the fucker?” to which Smith replies “Yeah, I got him” and then points his rifle at Target, whose smile immediately fades. Jackson pleads with Smith to not do this since he can pay him more than Lawrence. Smith replies “It’s not about the money. It never has been.” He then smacks Jackson in the head with the rifle butt and the screen cuts to black.

 

Back in Golden City that evening, Weathers as the county marshal is handling a lot of busy work to deal with the aftereffects of the big shootout. As he goes about this work a man enters his office and asks to speak with him. It is Morton. Morton gets quickly to the point and says that Jackson had been in the process of returning rightful property to him when the bounty was placed on his head. He tells Weathers that he wants that property back and that Weathers has a duty to make sure stolen property is returned. He also insinuates that he will make it worth Weathers’ while to return the property. Weathers is silent at first, but says he has a line on where Jackson and the property may be heading if they get taken. Since this bounty has caused a lot of carnage in town, he wants to nail the criminals for that. “And if I help a citizen recover his lost property along the way, well, justice is served.” Morton is pleased and says he appreciates Weathers’ compliance.

 

After Morton leaves, Weathers sits at his desk and thinks for a moment if he really should get mixed up in this business any further. Eventually he decides what to do and walks over to the local doctor where Reeves is recovering. He demands Reeves tell him where they were supposed to bring Jackson once they caught him. Reeves asks what’s in it for him for telling and Weathers says that “right now you’re the only one responsible for the massacre who’s in town. There hasn’t been a mob here in a little while, but sooner or later they’ll get around to it. Help me out, and I’ll let you go at the end of it.” Reeves sighs and tells Weathers about the shack. Weathers tells Reeves he better heal up overnight since at first light they’ll be going on a trip.

 

The following morning at the desert shack, Joshua, Almeida and their men are waiting. Soon Lawrence arrives with some bodyguards. Lawrence is pissed at Joshua over the fiasco at Golden City and says he is going to handle the matter personally. The two go inside the shack with Almeida following. Lawrence is interested by Almeida’s presence but figures it out as Joshua points a gun at him. Lawrence tells Almeida that Joshua doesn’t have the spine for the business and will have his men kill Almeida once Almeida kills Lawrence to clean things up. Lawrence tells Almeida that he could use someone with Almeida’s skills and lack of empathy and can pay him more than Joshua ever could, since Joshua is about as good a business man as Lawrence’s shoe shiner. Joshua laughs and says he and Almeida made a deal, but then notices that Almeida has pointed his gun at him. “One double-cross suits another” Almeida says and fires a shot, mortally wounding Joshua. A bodyguard rushes into the shack to investigate and Lawrence tells him that things are under control. Lawrence walks over to Joshua as his son bleeds out and says “You may be family, but no one gets in my way.”

 

The scene shifts to a hotel lounge in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Lawrence is sipping a drink when he is joined by Morton. Lawrence is annoyed by Morton’s arrival and tells him to leave him be. Morton says “not before I show you something” and opens a case he brought with him. He pulls a document out and shows it to Lawrence. It is an official deed from the U.S. Government granting hundreds of square miles of land to the deed’s holder. Morton tells Lawrence that through some key bribes and a little bit of “borrowing” he has a number of these deeds in New Mexico and Colorado that cover land key for railroad placement and settlement. When the railroads come through and the settlers follow, he’ll have the best land to offer them. Morton says that he enjoyed competing with Lawrence, but soon enough the competition will be over, since Morton has all the cards. Morton mockingly wishes Lawrence farewell and leaves. Lawrence stares at his drink for a moment and is then disturbed by Joshua who asks what is wrong. Lawrence answers that he’s just been challenged and that soon he’ll make his response. Joshua asks if that is wise and Lawrence replies that if you get concerned with the people you knock down in the race for the top, you’ll never get there.

 

Back in Golden City, Weathers and Reeves are saddling up. The lone deputy is staying behind to keep order in town. Weathers is again summoned to meet with Morton in a hotel and Morton suggests Weathers take a few of his men with him. Weathers is reluctant but Morton says Weathers will be outgunned against men who won’t lie down for the law. Weathers relents and agrees to take a few. Morton then talks with Weathers about the changing land and that men like Morton are here to tame the wildness of the territory and men like Weathers are needed to keep it tame. Weathers agrees to a point and finally extricates himself from the conversation. He returns to Reeves, who wants to know what that was about “Just a rich man trying to buy the world” Weathers says. “Did he buy you?” Reeves asks. Weathers grimaces and says “Maybe, and maybe some things aren’t for sale.” The small group then sets off.

 

Smith drives his wagon across the rocky plain, Jackson tied up and unconscious in the back along with the chest. He regains consciousness and starts pleading for Smith to let him go. Smith says “I need you for a little while longer” and then says there isn’t any point to complaining since they’re “here.” Jackson sticks his neck up to see that they are near to that desert shack. Smith pulls the wagon to a stop a fair distance from the shack. Lawrence has been alerted to the wagon’s arrival and is pleased when he sees Jackson pulled out of the wagon and thrown to the ground. He motions for Almeida to stay near him while the other several gunmen hang back a ways. A guard shouts out they have company. Everyone turns to see a group of horses nearby.

 

Weathers, Reeves, and a few of Morton’s men cease their riding a short distance from the shack. They all dismount and walk until they form a triangle with the other two groups, though Reeves is left behind with the horses. Weathers shakes his head when he sees Jackson tied up and announces that everyone here is under arrest for murder, kidnapping, and stolen property. Lawrence laughs and says he recognizes Morton’s men and says Morton’s just as much a thief as he is. Weathers says that may be true, but Morton’s men didn’t turn Golden City into a war zone. “If he does in the future, I’ll throw his ass in jail too.” Smith sees Reeves and calls out if he’s okay. Reeves replies that he’s felt better. Lawrence calls over to Smith and tells Smith that they can finish this if he helps him dispose of the marshal. He, Almeida, and his gunmen start to walk towards Smith, and Smith, with an intensity, looks at them approach, which slowly morphs into the last seen camera shot of Smith’s most recent memory, which is of the five armed men that killed his family starting to walk toward his kid self.

 

The five gunmen slowly walk towards the kid. The camera stays behind the gunmen but as they get near the kid the camera swivels around to show the five and in the middle is their leader, a twenty-years-younger Lawrence (Jeff Bridges with a mix of makeup and minor CGI to look younger). He says “It looks like we missed one, boys.” One of the other men says “you’re not going to kill the kid are you?” Lawrence laughs and says “I’ll give him a chance. If he’s lucky he’ll live to see another day.” Another man says “You don’t believe in luck though” to which Lawrence replies “Which is why I like my solution. Get the rope.” They make a noose and Lawrence has the kid stand on the hitching post outside the house before having one of his men put the noose around the kid’s neck, tie the kid’s hands behind his back, and attach the rope to the house’s roof. If the kid stays still he would be fine until someone arrived to help him, but if he slipped then he would be hanged. While the men get the horses, Lawrence walks over to the kid and says “If you manage to survive, I hope you show more guts in dealing with me than your father did.” He rejoins his men and the kid watches them ride off.

 

Back in the present, Smith in an instant pulls out his gun and fires a single shot that catches Lawrence in the heart, dropping him. Almeida is a hair too slow to prevent it but he is able to fire a shot that clips Smith in the right shoulder. By this point, Lawrence’s other men, Weathers, and Morton’s men have pulled out their own weapons and a massive shootout begins with people running, dodging, and dying all over the place. Smith and Almeida trade a couple shots as they move but Smith is able to hit Almeida in the chest to drop him. Jackson meanwhile is curled in a ball under the wagon to stay out of the way. When the carnage settles, everyone is immobile on the ground except for Smith, Jackson, Weathers, and Reeves, who was also out of the way of the fight.

 

Smith and Weathers, both with minor wounds, cautiously aim their guns at another as they try to resolve the situation. Reeves starts to stand up and stumble over from the horses and tells Smith that Weathers is a friend of Jackson’s. Weathers asks Smith for an explanation and Smith simply says he’s waiting for a chance at Lawrence for twenty years and Jackson’s bounty was the best way to get close to him. Whatever happened to Jackson didn’t concern him. Jackson sarcastically thanks him for caring. Weathers asks about the stolen property and Smith says it’s in the wagon. Jackson calls out that he was planning on selling it back to Morton and Weathers says Morton had asked him to retrieve it. Smith says Weathers is free to return the contents. Weathers nods and says if Smith turns Jackson and the property over to him, he’ll turn Reeves over to Smith. Smith agrees. Smith unties Jackson and tells him to bring the chest over to Weathers. After Jackson does that Weathers puts the chest down and the two old friends hug. Jackson comments that he owes Weathers one now, to which Weathers replies “A considerably larger number than that.” The two start to laugh but then a meaty thud noise is heard. Weathers’ face shows an expression of pain and surprise before he falls to the ground with a knife in his back. A fair distance away stands Almeida, far from dead.

 

Smith and Jackson are both caught off-guard and can just watch as Almeida points a gun at them. Almeida says that this is the closest he’s come to being beaten in a job but “not quite you two, not quite”. Smith says there’s three of them, not two. Almeida replies that a man barely alive from a knife wound doesn’t count. During this, Almeida is focused on Smith and Jackson so he doesn’t see Reeves painfully drop to a knee and grab a gun from one of Morton’s dead men. Reeves cocks the gun and Almeida turns rapidly but isn’t fast enough as Reeves fires three times. Almeida falls, dead this time.

 

The situation now completely settled, the couple remaining loose ends are tied up with the bodies buried by the shack. Reeves feels like he let Weathers down. He asks Smith and Jackson what happens now. Smith tells Reeves that this “Morton” still wants his property, so Reeves can take the chest back to Golden City and get paid for it, more than enough to move his family North. Jackson complains, saying that it’s his chest to return, but Smith reminds him “the people with the guns make the decisions, and you don’t have any”. Smith helps a limping Reeves onto the wagon and wishes him good luck. Reeves wishes him well in return and asks what Smith intends to do now. Smith looks out over the dusty land and says that eventually men like Morton, Weathers, and Lawrence will turn the territory into just like any other place in the East. Until then though, there’s still a place for him. The two shake hands and Reeves then starts the wagon off towards Golden City.

 

As Smith watches the wagon, Jackson asks “Well? What about me?” Smith smiles to himself and picks up a rifle as he turns to face Jackson to say “Well, knowing you, there’s bound to be a bounty on you somewhere.” Jackson frowns in confusion and then realizes Smith’s intent. “Really?” he asks with a sigh as Smith points the rifle at him. “Revenge doesn’t pay” Smith replies, “but bounties do.” He then swings the butt of the rifle at Jackson’s head to knock him out, the film cutting to black when it makes contact.

 

 

Edited by 4815162342
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3 minutes ago, Slambros said:

@Xillix Relinquish the IMAX for Psyren: The Second Call and move it to January 28th.

It's already coming out just 8 months after the first one... does pushing it even earlier make sense?

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16 minutes ago, Xillix said:

It's already coming out just 8 months after the first one... does pushing it even earlier make sense?

 

It doesn't make sense at all, but I'm fine with that.

 

@Xillix Actually, you can remove the film from the schedule for now, and I can find a better date for the film in the near future. Both the January and February dates are bad.

Edited by Slambros
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CGsxj0.png

Genre: Fantasy Action/Horror

Studio: Lager Pictures

Production Companies: Lager Pictures, Legendary Pictures, Toho Pictures

Based on the Manga by Hajime Isayama

Director: Matt Reeves

Writers: Matt Reeves and Seth Grahame-Smith

Producers: Christopher Lager, Maria Lager, Matt Reeves, Seth Grahame-Smith

Executive Producers: Matt Duffer, Ross Duffer, Rick Jaffa, and Amanda Silver

Director of Photography: Hoyte van Hoytema

Production Designer: Dan Hennah

Editor: Jason Ballantine 

Music by Hans Zimmer

Additional Music by Hiroyuki Sawano and Benjamin Wallfisch

Visual Effects Supervisor: Robert Legato

Costume Designers: Ngila Dickson and Richard Taylor

Creature, Costume, and Weapon Design by Weta Workshop

 

Main Cast:

 

Cody Christian as Eren Jaeger

Lyrica Okano as Mikasa Ackerman

Charlie Plummer as Armin Arlert

KJ Apa as Jean Kirstein

Michael Fassbender as Captain Hannes

Tom Holland as Marco Bott

Zoe Kravitz as Rico Brzenska

Jorge Lendeborg, Jr. as Connie Springer

Dacre Montgomery as Reiner Braun

Saoirse Ronan as Annie Leonhardt 

Robert Sheehan as Bertolt Hoover 

Bill Skarsgard as Ian Dietrich

Maisie Williams as Sasha Braus

With 

Jennifer Connelly as Carla Jaeger

Chris Evans as Erwin Smith

Kurt Russell as Dot Pixis

Michael Shannon as Keith Sadies 

And

Gary Oldman as Grisha Jaeger 

 

Minor Roles:

Kiernan Shipka as Krista Lenz

Kaya Scodelario as Ymir

 

Y'lan Noel, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Robert Capron, Nadji Jeter, Liliana Mumy, Eliza Scanlen, and Cole Sprouse have been cast in undisclosed roles.

 

Release Date: July 22nd, Y6

Theater Count: 3,952

Format: 2D, 3D, IMAX 3D, and Dolby Cinema

Budget: $185 million

MPAA Rating: R for graphic action scenes throughout, disturbing imagery, and some langauge. 

Running Time: 156 minutes

 

Background:

 

Spoiler

“The titans first appeared over a hundred years ago, giant humanoid creatures with a taste of our blood. The brute strength of these aberrations was more than a human many times over. Humanity was shoved to the brink of extinction almost overnight. The survivors erected three layers of walls: Maria, Rose, and Sina, withdrawing them in a relative safety for over a hundred years. Though humanity has been brought to the brink of complete obsoletion, there are still those who continue to fight against the titans, in the futile hope of taking back what is rightfully ours.”

 

Plot:

 

Coming Soon

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Teyonnah and the Renegades

\          A          /

> RIGHTEOUS <

/  S E X T E T  \

 

 

Writer/Director: Boots Riley and Nia DaCosta

Composer: Tuneyards and the Coup

Major Cast:

  • Bridgette/Teyonnah by Boots Riley
    • Letitia Wright ad Bridgette Dover/Teyonnah Jones
    • Shameik Moore as Typhoon
    • Daniela Vega as Celeste
    • John Mulaney as Ian Campbell
    • Regina Hall as Ruby
  • A Book for One, A Book for All by Nia DaCosta
    • Brooklyn Prince as Abby
    • Dafne Keen as Florence
    • Alex Hibbert as Riley
    • Toni Colette as Nancy Addison
    • Rosario Dawson as Sarah
    • Hannibal Buress as Robbie
  • The Princess Who Didn't Give a F$%k by Boots Riley
    • *Salma Hayek as The Fairy Godmother
    • *Sabrina Carpenter as Princess Claudette
    • *Alex Wolff as Prince Darian
    • *Michael Sheen as King Surran
    • *Lakeith Stanfield as Francis
  • Meet Moddy by Nia DaCosta
    • Steven Yuen as Dustin
    • Jena Malone as Charlotte
    • Ed Harris as Calvin
    • *Ellie Kemper as Moddy
  • A Week at St. Chester's Academy for Boys by Nia DaCosta
    • Mena Massoud as Russell
    • Jonathan Groff as Kenton
    • Ramin Kamirloo as the Headmaster
  • The Paradigm Valley Examination by Boots Riley
    • Julian Dennison as Marshall
    • Siena Agudong as Emily
    • Alison Brie as Proctor Polly
    • Madeline Harris as Sophie
    • Ed Oxenbold as Duncan
    • Luke Wilson as Sohpie's Dad

 

Genre: Anthology/Comedy

Release Date: June 3rd

Theater Count: 15 (6/3), 2,611 (6/10)

MPAA Rating: R for pervasive language, brief sexual content including graphic nudity, some violence including bloody images, and drug use.

Runtime: 127min (2hr, 7min)

Production Budget: $25 million

 

PLOT: An anthology of six stories centered around the perils of hatred and inequality. Note that the notes under each segment title are not shown on screen, only the title of each new segment.

 

Spoiler

We open on a great deal of commotion. An almost grotesquely ornate and bombastic fair seems to be happening, several people of all ages (18+) are at the event. It looks like a weirdly classy, righteously bigoted, alt-right themed convention. Ian Campbell (Mulaney) greets people excitedly, remarking that this is a haven for free thinking individuals who have had enough of the media’s lies. “Fuck the poor….ly disguised ways the deep state tries to manipulate us!” He takes pictures with fans and clearly enjoys the attention.

 

We soon cut to a large hall within the space, where a major speech is taking place. From behind, we see a woman speaking, introduced as Bridgette Dover. She speaks (with various subtle contradictions) about respecting the police and fighting tyranny, fighting for the will of the poor but kissing up to massive CEOs (who are the most oppressed minority on Earth.) As her speech goes on, getting lots of applause at the end, she soon turns around. The speech is shot from behind, showing only the space and the audience’s reaction.

 

We see “Bridgette” (Wright) as she walks towards the camera offstage to great applause. After a long shot of some fan ogling and other reports that she was amazing, she makes it to her private room. Realizing no one is around, she moves her headset piece closer to her mouth. “I did what I had to do. Now the real fun begins.”

 

With the flair of a 70s heist/Blaxploitation movie, we see two individuals, Celeste (Vega) and Typhoon (Moore) find one another at a “Pot Roast on a stick” bar. They walk through the hotel to get to their room, where Celeste remarks that with Teyonnah’s information under the alias of Dover, they were able to create a backdoor entry into their financial servers. “This money would have gone to nothing but greedy bastards paying other greedy bastards to convince people that their ideas are hip. Besides, a small life saving surgery is chump change for them.”

 

As they get the laptop, the travel back down the stairs, get into a nearby car, and drive away. They pass the chaotic energy of Las Vegas, the site of the convention, as they make it to a safe house hidden amidst the suburbs of the city, bickering and bantering to one another along the way. Teyonnah soon sends them a message that she will be able to pull together “the motherload” on her end soon enough. As the two wonder what she means, she remarks that it’s going to be an awesome surprise.

 

Teyonnah then proceeds to call her mom, Ruby (Hall), who is sitting in a hospital, and they share an exchange. Ruby recognizes her all over the internet, remarking her disappointment in this route. “Well you must think I’m stupid – I mean, I’m doing this for you. Once I get enough money to pay for your surgery. This was just a scheme. I promise. You didn’t raise someone who would think like this.” They both smile. Teyonnah returns to do some work on her laptop, moving some files into a folder called “The Motherlode”

 

“A scheme, huh?”

 

Ian Campbell makes a hilariously sinister intrusion on Teyonnah. Teyonnah backs away nervously, remarking that he doesn’t even know the context of the conversation. Campbell smiles wrly, but moves toward her. He remarks that as founder and president of New Visions, he expects to push a different narrative in America, one that shows that the world is just, and anyone who says otherwise wants more than their share. As Campbell continues to confront Bridgette on their superior ideology, she tries to follow along and prove her loyalty.

 

Typhoon calls from the laptop, audio accidentally left on by Teyonnah: “We’ve got the funds ready to transfer.”

 

Campbell remarks that it’s good his side values the police.

 

Continuing the heist/spy theme, Teyonnah quickly runs away from Campbell and into the crowd of the New Visions Convention, with more and more propaganda-esque posters apparent. Fans come to greet her excitedly, pulling back the certain on the fame and influence she had built. As more and more cop cars arrive at the hotel, they look for Typhoon and Celeste’s room but find nothing there.

 

Teyonnah keeps running, stopped by Campbell at one point, who coyly remarks that she’s let herself be brainwashed, and that she has a chance to lead people out of the darkness. Ian leans in to her, suggesting that she’s merely insecure in her beliefs. He can let her keep her lavish life, which she 100% earned, while also giving her a chance to influence millions. “This is a better life than you would find anywhere else. Just look at your fans!” (We get a glimpse. They’re all white.) Teyonnah also notices an open booth. She creates a distraction and sneaks inside the booth, only to find a secret door under a table.

 

Checking out the door, she goes inside and walks through a tunnel. A reflection lines the walls of “Bridgette.” She tells her alter ego that Ian was right. She’s just following orders. There’s nothing authentic or free about her. She ought to just give in and accept his worldview. It’ll be (ironically) extremely liberating, because it’s the only way she’ll have a meaningful life or make any sort of impact on the world beyond what she has. “None of your true beliefs would have fixed anything.”

 

Teyonnah feels dejected and heartbroken as she inches down the hall. However, she walks closer to the end of the hall and sees something glow.

 

She finds a room with a video tape and a large screen. “The Renegades” is labeled on the tape. Teyonnah, feeling curious…. puts in the tape.

 

--

 

BOOKS FOR ONE, BOOKS FOR ALL

*A tale in the style of a Wes Anderson/French New Wave esque comedy mixed with the propagandic fury of Reefer Madness.

 

Abby (Prince) and her foster siblings Riley (Hibbert) and Florence (Keen) are disappointed when their local library gets shut down in favor of a new Sports Bar (their town already has several). Abby gets the idea to raid some books from her room and her foster parents, Sarah (Dawson) and Robbie (Buress) to open up their own little library in the park. Her parents seem very hesitant at this idea, but are soon convinced. Riley remarks to them that she’s been talking about it nonstop, so its probably something worth exploring.

 

Abby, who was new in town, gets to meet several new kids, while her Florence looks into different libraries across the world for ideas. Sarah and Robbie are a bit baffled by the readiness of the kids, but they are impressed and amused by the whole ordeal….at least before it begins to enter their living room. Their house soon becomes a library visited by the whole town after a local news chapter picks it up.

 

This draws the negative attention of Nancy Addison (Collette), PTO president, liaison to the Mayor, and town queen be. She thinks that a space where kids can learn and help one another for free is a pathway to greedy socialist thinking. This aversion turns even more students to help build out the library, her neighbors (who are also students) helping to take over the setting.

 

Florence, however, excitedly begins to make the homemade library go viral, and she gets to add various facilities to help the community. Most adults assumed libraries were just about books, so most of them were quite surprised. This only makes Addison even more concerned, riling up the parents even further. At every school, there is a rally about how communism is the greatest evil on earth, even though the library is just innocent. Riley even asks himself how the PTO president has enough influence to set up that assembly.

 

That day, Abby is devastated to find out that the books and library furniture have been stolen that day while she was at school. Her foster parents come to comfort her, and Abby tells them that she loved going to the library after school – that’s why she wanted to keep that experience. Her parents, realizing that Addison had to do with the theft of the books, set out to make things right.

 

At the PTA meeting that night, held in Addison’s large, mansion-esque home, she is going through things as often as she normally does. She has a rigid control of the town and believes that kids have to work for their pleasure. Why can they get things for free when WorryFree books has two outlets on town? They can use their allowances. Suddenly, more and more kids and adults appear in the meeting, slowly beginning to chant “Where. Are. The. Books?”

 

Addison initially reacts indignantly, shrugging it off, but more and more people rally beside them. “The books. The computers. The classes. The desks. The chairs.” It seems the entire town is up in arms in a protest against Addison. She’s about to go beserk. In a campy style, a battle begins as the students charge the school to find hidden supplies of objects from the library. The energy and chaos is very much like a Wes Anderson riff on Les Miserables. Addison tries to keep her control, but the students are fighting back. Eventually, Addison is forced out of her home.

 

Soon, Abby and her siblings face off with Addison in a lot outside. As Addison begins to tell the kids that if they don’t stop this now, they will be expelled. Just as this happened, Florence hurls a book at her head, knocking her out in front of a moving car on the street, which lifts her in the air. The parents are still baffled by the whole ordeal.

 

Eventually, Addison is charged with theft, but Abby thinks that the punishment should fit the crime, especially after learning that Addison was largely responsible for the closure of the library in the first place. “Who cares about books, anyway?” she replies to defend herself. We soon see Addison reading a book on library care after learning that her mansion had been turned into the new library. Abby tells her to commission the new library, and everything will be good. Her parents are happy to have their home back, particularly for….sexual reasons, but Abby has become so popular that friends come over often. Her parents are less than happy for that very reason.

 

THE PRINCESS WHO DIDN’T GIVE A F&$K

*This tale has an animation style a la Disney hand drawn films, done by Duncan Studios. The tone is largely tongue in cheek, parodying what might also be going on in this world.

 

In the animated world of Vespucina, there was a glorious wedding between Princess Claudette (Carpenter) and Prince Darian (Alex Wolff), son of King Surran (Sheen). They were a young, easily excitable couple with a quirky, obsessive love for one another. Meanwhile….their kingdom was in complete shambles because of the reckless exploits and spending of the monarchy and kingdom elites. The people are starving, sick, and unhappy, and one young Squire, Francis (Stanfield) wants to lead a revolution against the Monarchy. He sings a patter song at a local pub, commenting on the ruthless inequality of the kingdom, to rally the crowd.

 

Claudette notices the unrest and turns to her Fairy Godmother (Hayek), who seems annoyed by the constant visits. “Your fucking dreams already came true. Now piss off.” Claudette asks her to help make inequality better in the kingdom. As the godmother rightly retorts that it’s supposed to be her job, Claudette begs and pleads. Reluctantly, she spends the night awake to see what she can do. She remarks to herself that she was working on so many exciting new spells.

 

The people suddenly have a blessing of new food, and they’re excited about the gift. Surran looks down upon the peasants, believing that one of his kitchen staff had stolen their food. He calmly orders a beheading. Claudette and Darian are temporarily concerned but begin to make out again. It turns out that the food doesn’t hold the people for long, so Claudette returns to her Fairy Godmother to ask for help once again. Fairy Godmother urges Claudette to be a responsible princess, but she just wants her godmother to solve her problems.

 

Rolling her eyes, she concocts a potion to decrease a person’s discontent. Knowing that this should curb any dissenting views, Claudette goes to mix it with the town’s water supply one night. The next day, the townspeople begin to fall in love with Claudette even further, even though many die from starvation, while a few more cases of plague hit the town, body parts falling off in the context of a happy villager dance. Darian seems a bit miffed, but Claudette has everything under control, and King Surran remarks that her daughter is going to be an amazing queen. “That reminds me.” He snaps his fingers and dies instantly, collapsing on the floor and spurring a hilariously melodramatic scene.

 

Darian and Claudette are now King and Queen of the village respectively. The Godmother moves in to the castle, remarking how her demands will increase two fold at this point. We get a montage of the two making her godmother manage the kingdom through her magic, but she eventually has enough. She pays a visit to Francis, revealing that she was in fact the one trying to make things right in the kingdom. The revolutionary spirit is only growing in the kingdom, and Claudette ordered her godmother to put it to rest. However, after speaking with Francis, she gets a much better idea.

 

In a list of paperwork, listed as local petitions, the Godmother asks Claudette to sign them. In the signatures, however, it’s revealed that she tricked Claudette into surrendering the throne to the godmother. Her magic was so powerful that it terrifies the selfish and incompetent couple, amplified by the angry mobs outside. The couple runs out of the kingdom, running for their lives.

 

Francis takes control of the throne but turns their empire into something much more democratic. Moreover, the godmother takes on Francis as a godchild, and she is much more transparent in helping the kingdom. It seemed like, with work from everyone, everyone was going to live happily ever after.

 

It’s revealed that the story was being read to by a babysitter to a young child. The child complains that she just wanted the story of Cinderella. The babysitter remarks that she was a woman who wanted a higher social standing and had zero semblance of political savvy, only landing in the position because of who she had the hots for. The fairly tales were interchangeable, but the moral of the story is…give a shit about the people around you!

 

MEET MODDY!

*This episode has a vibe of a 90s sitcom (complete with laughing track) meets Yorgos Lanthimos, with a very creepy, uneasy feel.

 

This segment begins with a fake, cheesy commercial. Are you tired of family gatherings being derailed by disrespectful discussions? *We see exaggerated clips of this in action, including a stabbing with a butter knife* Moddy is here to help! This robotic companion (looking like a toy the size of a desk lamp) will sense discussions turning hostile and find a way to keep things on track! He also comes with a portable phone charger and can play music via Bluetooth. Moddy is here to “Keep the Happy in Happy Holidays.”

 

We see a couple at a store, Charlotte (Malone) and Dustin (Yuen), as they pick up the toy. “My relatives can be pretty shitty. I’m getting this as a cautionary measure.” As they drive home awkwardly, they soon have sex by a small cluster of packed suitcases. Dustin remarks that this is likely very preferable from doing it on the bed she had as a teenager. As they wind down, still naked, they boot up Moddy for the first time. Moddy (Kemper) greets them and wants to learn more. After running a diagnostic evaluation from some demographic questions, she infers that Charlotte has somewhat racist relatives, and Thanksgiving is two days away. She will help them make sure that they do not say anything harmful, and that the dinner has a calm atmosphere.

 

On the flight home, there’s an eeriness to the music, but with some weird, human made noises embedded into the score. It’s off-putting yet funny in a deadpan manner. Picking up a ride from the airport, they move towards the country roads. Charlotte wholeheartedly greets her father, Calvin (Harris) who trembles a bit as he sees his new potential son in law. Dustin breaks the ice by remarking that it’s so good to see him again. They’ve met multiple times since March of that year. Calvin shrugs it off. Some other relatives are there, but don’t react to him.

 

Dustin eagerly sets up Moddy in his room, trying to play things as safe as possible. Charlotte goes to check on him, inviting him to join the family in some board games. After Dustin politely declines, Charlotte abruptly heads back downstairs.

 

Through some flashes of orchestral music and images of family gathering, it’s soon time for Thanksgiving dinner. Charlotte announces that Moddy is being set up, avoiding references to Dustin’s race, but framing it around helping the family have fun for the holiday. A grace is said before the meal, and people dig in soon after. The kids begin to scurry away from the table, hoping on to play an over the top video game a la Grand Theft Auto. Dustin knows that the time has come.

 

It doesn’t take long for Calvin to say something mildly bigoted about Dustin. He motions to Moddy to see what she will say, but she remarks. “He can take a joke! That was very funny, mister!” Dustin is baffled. Charlotte, however, is oddly silent. As Dustin tries to deflect the topics and keep his cool, Calvin and others seem hellbent on discussing these prickly topics. Dustin eventually chimes in, calmly and respectfully voicing his opinion. Moddy, however, claims that Dustin is being belligerent.

 

As the music amplifies, Dustin keeps getting shot down by Moddy, even after the relatives talk about how people need to learn to embrace different opinions more. Eventually, Dustin goes to take Moddy with him to check on the settings, realizing the handbook is upstairs. Charlotte still refuses to get involved. However, the family begins to fall in love with Moddy, seeing him as one of their own. Tensions begin to blare in continuously hilarious fashions, while Charlotte, rolling her eyes, goes up to the bathroom.

 

She brings back the instruction guide, which looks 100% legit. There’s no special mode or special secrets. Moddy is running exactly as it should. Calvin remarks that Moddy lived up to its name, and that it should be at every gathering. Dustin, in a moment of rage, goes outside, holding Moddy, and kicks it onto the street, smashes it, and shoves it into a trash can. Before he puts the lid on, Moddy faint condemns Dustin for being intolerant for other ideas.

 

Charlotte did not want to offend her family at all, but Dustin calls her out for not defending him once. Charlotte remarks that she got the instructions, but only after things got truly bad. Calvin sees this and berates Dustin once again for antagonizing his daughter. Moddy’s voice calls out from the trash can, “Shall I call a taxi?” After a pause, Dustin remarks, “Yes please. Sorry about all that, by the way.” Moddy remarks, “No hard feelings.”

 

The final card shows the Moddy logo: “Keep the Happy in Happy Holidays!”

 

A WEEK AT ST. CHESTER’S CREEK ACADEMY FOR BOYS

*A musical horror comedy in the vein of Little Shop of Horrors.

 

We begin with an excessively corny song sung by the pre-teen students of St. Chester’s Creek Academy for Boys somewhere in London. (Everyone speaks with slightly off British accents in this segment) Two young teachers at the school, Russell (Massoud) and Kenton (Jenner) bragging about how they’re going to maybe get promotions this year. They set up a little contest against one another to see who the most popular teacher at the Academy can be. The winner will recommend the other for a promotion. Russell is hesitant but is goaded on by Kenton until he accepts the proposition.

 

Russell and Kenton teach with a kind, somewhat clever and dorky style. Both seem to hit it off at first, but eventually, we hear a lot of students talking about Kenton ecstatically. Through an amusing song, Russell wonders why this is the case, remarking that he’s a bit of a dick at times and assigns much harder assignments. However, one student mentions an event called, “The Hour of No Bets” that’s held every night in his classroom. He decides to go investigate.

 

As Russell sneaks through the halls at night, with some students asleep, he sees one crying in the corner. He didn’t get invited to the Hour of No Bets. Russell tries to comfort him, but the boy pushes him away. “I’m not a pussy baby! I don’t need your free shit!” The boy storms off, and Russell is further baffled. He arrives at Kenton’s classroom door, but the windows are sealed shut, and the door is locked, black tape placed on the window. Russell improvises by sneaking into a nearby storage closet, where there is a chance to get into the classroom through that.

 

Peering inside, Russell is horrified. Boys fighting with each other, shouting derogatory, bigoted slurs (bleeped out by wacky sound effects), and Kenton giving lessons presenting a very warped, toxic manhood. He sings to them about how a boy should properly be a man, from treating women as their property to repressing any and all emotions. Russell manages to slip away, feeling shocked and disgusted that this man is pushing bigotry onto these kids and using him to get a promotion. Kenton stops him in the hallway, as Russell explains what he say.

 

Kenton sighs, explaining that he just doesn’t get it. These boys need a strong, masculine figure in their life when it seems like the world is turning against them. Russell doesn’t buy it, and he tries to call off the bet. However, Kenton disturbingly reveals that he has the bet as an official document. He has high up friends, and if Russell backs out, that’s a fire-able offense. Temporarily swallowing his pride, Russell lets him off the hook.

 

The next day is very ominous and creepy, and more surreal aspects of the school design stick out. We see days pass of more and more kids trying to get into the exclusive “Hour of No Bets,” while counts of bullying are more and more on the rise. Russell realizes that he has to take this up with the headmaster (Kamirloo). Russell explains everything, stating that they need to meet with Kenton ASAP and prevent him from going further.

 

The headmaster laughs, entering a sinister, creepy song about how Kenton started the hour at his request, and how this is what St. Chester’s school is about. They are following down a path of very fine men (subtitles reveal them as eugenicists, mass murders, serial abusers, and human traffickers). Russell, in a spur of the moment, decides to quit. The Headmaster grants this request, but he cannot leave until the next morning.

 

The Hour of No Bets comes, and the classroom is surprisingly empty. Russell is worried about how he may be involved in this night’s class of debauchery, but slowly, more and more students encroach on him and begin to glare at him. Kenton remarks that he wins the bet, and that Russell has no intention of what it means to be a man. Therefore, he has to be carefully taught.

 

In a small action scene, full of reprises of the previous songs, Russell faces off the kids, tossing notebooks at them, and tries to escape the accursed alt-right Academy. Once cornered, however, Russell looks out the window, seeing a statue at the bottom, and gets an idea. He confesses that Kenton was right about everything. He was being foolish and….”emasculating himself.” He just needed something to grab on to, and now he has it.

 

He grabs onto Kenton’s arm and hurls both of them out of the window. Kenton is impaled on the sharp point of the statue, while Russell lands in some bushes. He makes it out, flipping off the kids, and running to a bus stop. Once on the bus…his smile and relief disappear. He sighs to himself.

 

THE PARADIGM VALLEY EXAMINATION

*Another Sci-fi based tale with slight teen comedy undertones, but a tense thriller feel underneath.

 

Four students, Marshall (Dennison), Emily (Agudong), Sophie (Harris), and Duncan (Oxenbould), walk into an empty classroom. They look to one another nervously. Marshall pounds a can of some kind of energy drink, crushing it on his forehead. He reminds himself how much that kind of hurts. Suddenly, an overexcited test proctor, Polly (Brie) skips into the room. She’s excited to see how the kids will perform today, although unfortunately, only two get to make it. Duncan asks, “Where?” Polly plays the intro video to proctor the exam, designed like a 50s PSA.

 

“Welcome to the Paragidm Valley Examination. We all know that climate change was not our fault, but now, Mother Nature’s being a real diva! We have to fit humanity into this luxurious bunker, Paradigm Valley, entered in Upstate New York. Once you pass this exam, proving your worth to humanity and carrying out our species’ genes, you’ll get to enjoy a life of safety, luxury, and fun, hidden underground with thousands of amenities. Until then, this 75-part non-stop exam will seed out the week from the strong!”

 

Polly remarks that day one is the general knowledge portion. All disciplines. Multiple choice. Short answer. Essay questions. All of it. She excitedly tells the students to begin. Dennison begins to struggle staying awake, but he begins to make things out a little more clearly after realizing what’s at stake. Emily easily rushes through the problems, while Duncan bangs his head against the desk. He draws pictures of himself being eaten by a shark. Polly persuades him not to give up, but he seems dejected. Suddenly, Polly slaps him. “Do you know how many people would commit war crimes for the chance to take this examination? Don’t squander this time of your life! Take the fucking exam or quit now you ungrateful little shit.” Duncan sighs, remarking that he likely won’t make it.

 

Sophie, on the other hand, is all done before the others. She asks if she can use the time to call her father. Polly lets her, much to the shock of the others. She calls her dad, who is hanging out in what looks like a luxurious resort area. “Another section done? Don’t worry, the next payment is on its way. I’m gonna get you to the valley, sweetie. Sorry I couldn’t just get you out of the test altogether”

 

As Brie keeps her spirited demeanor, we fast forward through Day 2. Brie lampshades to the audience that watching people take a test must be so boring. She knows the feeling, so they fast forward to Day 3, the real world scenarios. In exaggerated ways, the four begin to act out real world situations to see who can be the most mature and efficient, from interviews to giving speeches, and even more outlandish examples like talking to aliens who may discover us. Duncan, by this point, gives up. He leaves the classroom, dejected. As he walks out, a guard writes his name on a list labeled, "RIP." Polly remarks that nothing could be done. Oh well. At least three people can go forward now.

 

At the resting point, Emily and Marshall bond a bit, surprised at how well Sophie is doing. (She is again on the phone with her dad). They both remark on how badly they want to make it, but need to keep going. Emily remarks that she feels really good about it, as long as she can get Day 4-5 completed successfully. Marshall is hesitant himself, but both keep an eye on Sophie.

 

Day 4 involves completion of various tasks not involving interaction, from gardening to fixing computers and more. Emily begins to struggle a bit, not having a lot of experience doing real world things….climate apocalypse and all. The challenges become extreme and overdramatic, while Marshall and Emily begin to act up and go wild. Sophie, however, keeps her cool. She’s also been asked to do a suspiciously small amount in the last two days. She lets slip that her father is paying the testing organization to do better on the test. As the two prepare to angrily confront her, Polly tells them to wait for Day 5.

 

Indeed….Day 5 is a fighting contest. First one down is out. The last two go to Paradigm Valley. Marshall and Emily get small, plasticky swords, while it’s revealed that Sophie was able to get her own HANDGUN. Marshall and Emily are horrified, but Sophie remarks that she’s sorry. That’s just how it works when you work hard and make connections. She pulls the trigger, but misses. Not only that, but the bullet bounces around the room and hits her kneecap. She curses and screams as she collapses. Marshall and Emily look to one another, stunned and slightly disturbed. Polly remarks that all three of them will make it, (thanks to someone’s gaming the system) but offhandedly remarks that Sophie won’t last a day when things get really bad. Sophie remarks that she heard that.

 

Four more students come in, and Polly remarks that because of quotas, only one will make the next round of cuts. “Let’s do this shit.”

 

 --

 

The tape ends.

 

Teyonnah checks her watch, realizing that the time hasn’t passed. Maybe it was all in her head. Looking to the reflections, she approaches them one last time.

 

Teyonnah: I am a hero. I am going to fight for what’s right, and I won’t let you make me do anything else.”

Bridgette: You…you pathetic snowflake!

Teyonnah: We’re a bunch of snowflakes? Well bundle up, whore.

 

Teyonnah was ready and righteous. Triumphantly stepping out of the room, we see the files from the motherload appear on Typhoon and Celeste’s laptop, cutting to acts of far-right violence and vicious, horrific ideas spread by the organization. As police surround the safe house, the two smiles to one another and jump into the pool outside, moving down and seeing a secret tunnel.

 

Teyonnah walks through the convention center, people now mobbing and furious with her, but she brushes it away with a righteous swagger, able to beat up any bigots that come her way without breaking a sweat. She simply smiles, laughing the whole way. She also confronts Ian one last time, remarking how she won’t be the face for his bullshit anymore. She punches him.

 

As a bunch of dings appear on peoples’ phones, it’s revealed that the motherlode, an array of incriminating articles on the org, were leaked. Ruby, meanwhile, is also getting proper treatment after an unexpected invoice went through.

 

Teyonnah meets with her friends outside Vegas in a long desert road, all wearing jackets and helmets. They hold hands with one another and smile. They agree to ride off into the night, hopeful for the future. Knowing that the police will come after them, but with the leak they inspired, it’s obvious that there’s no chance of them going back to their old lives. Teyonnah is okay with it, and her friends agree. They begin to move.

 

Teyonnah glances at the audience one last time.

 

“Remember kids. Cherish and love one another and fight to make a better world. Anyone won’t let you? Tell them to fucking choke. Goodnight, y’all. You’ve been a lovely audience.”

 

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FIESTA LOCA

 

Studio: New Journey Pictures

Director: Nacho Vigalondo

Genre: Fantasy

Release Date: October 28th

Theater Count: 3,850

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for Language, Suggestive Themes, and Thematic Elements

Runtime: 88 Minutes

Production Budget: $42 Million

 

Major Cast:

Jake T. Austin as Felix Sanchez***

Zoe Saldana as Rita Sanchez**

Antonio Banderas as Agustin**

Isabella Moner as Mia Sanchez

Jason Gemoa as Guile

Paulina Garcia as Catalina Sanchez

George Lopez as Omar Sanchez

Rico Rodriguez as Fernando

Daniel Zolghadri as Leon

Cierra Ramirez as Bianca

Ariel Winter as Christie

Marcel Ruiz as Rafael

Anthony Ramos as Ignacio

Efren Ramirez as Juan**

with Cristela Alonzo as Sandra

and Michael Pena as

Spoiler

El Cucuy*

 

*=Denotes a Voice Role

**=Denotes a Motion Capture Role

***=Denotes a role that at times live action and at times motion capture

 

Abstract: A Hispanic young man overdoses at a wild Day of the Dead party and, as a skeleton spirit, must prevent similar deaths on the same night in order to gain a second chance at life.

 

Spoiler

We begin at a black screen. Suddenly, a spotlight drops onto Rita (Zoe Saldana), a skeleton spirit in the Land of the Dead. Her wavy brunette hair is candidly draped over her white skull. Yellow pupils shine within the dark expanse of her eyes. She smirks with her glossy red lips and poses in a large floral dress. A beat drops in—Latin music starts to play, and Rita dances to the rhythm. Audiences will be able to tell that the dance is authentically Hispanic as she spins around and flaunts her dress. Bursts of color pulsate in the black background as she dances to the music.

 

Rita continues her dance after all the credits have been displayed, until her foot steps down on her dress and she swiftly falls to the ground, knocking the skull off her skeletal body. The music promptly stops as Rita’s skull bounces across the stage, and the spotlight follows it until the head comes to a stop. The background colors scatter offscreen, and the lights of the room are turned on, revealing that she was dancing in a circular room built specifically for performers to practice their dancing.

 

Juan (Efren Ramirez), a stagehand and a friend of Rita’s, rushes to help her get her head back to where it’s supposed to be. Comically, Rita insists she’ll get it herself—her headless body stumbles behind the head and feels around on the ground for the head. Juan asks again if he can help, but Rita insists she has it covered. She finally managed to grab her head; she fits it back on and brushes her hair in place with her backhand.

 

Juan asks Rita why she’s practicing alone when most of the other dancers are busy preparing for Dia de Los Muertos. Rita tells him that exactly what she’s doing—she’s preparing for a performance she will display during a celebration in the Land of the Dead. Juan tells her what he’s really talking about: the time she will spend in the Land of the Living, where her family will be celebrating Dia de los Muertos. Rita reassures him: of course she’ll be visiting her family. Dia de los Muertos only comes once a year, after all.

 

Rita asks Juan to accompany her to the Watching Wells, and Juan happily does so. They walk out of the building, and we see the city streets, filled with festive and cultural architecture, color, and decoration; skeleton spirits go about their day with smiles on their faces, and the blue sky is populated by clouds which move by much faster than on Earth. There are vendors and stores selling many things, and there are booths displaying art as well. One particular memorable moment occurs when a vendor twisting taffy with his hands breaks off pieces to hand to a group of children; Rita smiles at this. 

 

Rita and Juan walk into a green-walled building with a sign displaying that it is the neighborhood’s Watching Wells. They walk through the dark corridors where other skeletons are peering into shimmering wells, observing their relatives from a distance. Juan jests with Rita, asking her why she can’t wait a few hours to see her family. As Rita peers down into the well of the Sanchez family, she tells Juan a common saying: “There is never a moment when the Dead are not transfixed by the musings of the Living.”

 

The ‘camera’ swoops down through the surface of the well. We see that the image of the well is a top-down view of a grassy soccer field. The camera passes through the well fully, craning down rapidly towards the soccer field as teenagers play outdoor soccer in dollar-store jerseys. The crane shot falls onto the soccer ball as it is passed to one of the teenagers, and the teenager begins to bounce the ball with his knees. The camera rises up gradually to reveal his face. One of the other players calls out to him.

 

Soccer Player: Hey Felix! Pass it!

 

Felix (Jake T. Austin) tosses the ball in the air with knee and kicks it to the other players. He smiles, rubs his nose with his thumb, and runs to meet them.

 

Felix runs to the side of the court where the other players have gathered. We see a collection of shots where Felix and his team are playing very well; Felix is even able to kick the ball into the goal, and the team cheers.

 

The volunteer referee, Fernando (Rico Rodgriguez), blows a whistle and calls for a reset of the field. As the players walk to their positions, Fernando walks besides Felix, and they engage in game theory. Fernando reminds Felix that his team is still down by one, and they have two minutes to tie the game. Fernando asks if Felix has a plan, and Felix, running up to the middle circle, simply states that he’ll play as he goes.

 

He stands in front of Guile (Jason Gemao), who is stretching his arms with a smirk on his face. Felix asks Guile if he’s ready to go to overtime. Guile gears up and tells Felix that, while he wishes he could, he simply doesn’t have the time. Fernando throws the ball up in the air, and Guile headbutts it away, spins around Felix, and kicks the ball forward. Felix runs after him and dives toward the ball, but Guile passes it off in the nick of time. The ball is passed from player to player as Guile and Felix race each other to the goal. A player passes it to Guile, who kicks it with power towards the goal, and the ball just grazes the goalie’s fingertips as it makes its way into the goal.

 

Felix and Fernando exchange glances. There’s no way they can close a two-point gap in under thirty seconds, so Fernando declares Guile’s team as the winner. Guile’s team celebrates briefly, and the players begin to walk off the field. Fernando walks beside a disappointed Felix and tells him and his team will be able to win next time. Guile runs up to them as they’re walking, saying good game to Felix as he shakes his hand. He informally invites both Felix and Fernando to a huge party he’ll be throwing that night.

 

Felix: Tonight? You know it’s Dia de los Muertos, right?

Guile: That’s the point, hotshot. Everyone’s coming in makeup. It’s for the holiday. 

Felix: I don’t know, man. My folks are having a Traditional Family Gathering tonight.

Guile: Just swing by, alright? You don’t have to stay the whole time. My parents are out of town and the holiday’s landed on a Saturday—that’s too good of a deal to pass up. You only live once, hotshot.

Felix: Well… I’ll see what I can do.

 

Guile saunters away. Felix asks Fernando if he thinks going to the party is a good idea. Fernando, surprisingly, says he’d like to go; his family gathering is early enough as to where he can go to the party, enjoy himself, and get home before curfew. Guile struts back up to them.

 

Guile: Hey. Listen, hotshot. You gotta think before you do things, alright? You can easily play better football if you go in with a game plan.

 

Guile saunters away as Felix takes in what he says.

 

****

 

We cut to a montage of Felix’s family as they decorate the house for Dia de los Muertos. Felix’s mother Catalina (Paulina Garcia) and Felix’s father Omar (George Lopez) comically bicker in Spanish while Felix’s sister Mia (Isabella Moner) walks by with an orange flower in her hand. She walks into the room in the house that is set apart for the Wall of Ancestors—there are many photos of deceased family members on this wall—and she stuffs the orange flower into a makeshift bouquet of colorful flowers in front of Rita’s photo.

 

Felix comes in, and his mother Catalina tells him to help set the table. He complains that he just got back from the soccer game, but his mother insists. He sets plates and silverware and napkins on the long dinner table—enough for twelve people—and he tries to walk to his room before Mia drags him by the hand to the Wall of Ancestors. They stare at the wall for a moment. The camera takes a moment to provides clear imagery of all of the photos, so that the audience can understand the ancestors’ facial details. Mia tells Felix that she’s excited for the ancestors to visit. Felix tells Mia that he’s surprised she still believes that the ancestors come to visit.

 

Mia: Of course! Why don’t you?

Felix: It just seems a little far-fetched to me.

Mia: I dare you to say that in front of the family.

Felix: I mean, I wouldn’t do that.

Mia:  Well, never mind. I’m sure you’ll believe one day, mi hermano.

 

Mia runs jovially out of the room. Felix takes one last jaded look at the Wall of Ancestors before walking away.

 

Meanwhile, in the Land of the Dead, Rita is getting a dress fitted onto her by a tailor. Rita apologizes to the fitter—she’s sure she’s just another forgetful client clogging the traffic for clothes on Dia de los Muertos. The fitter shrugs it off—“It’s already the busiest day of the year, what’s one more customer?”—and finishes putting on the frilly orange dress. Rita asks the fitter how she looks. The fitter slides an orange flower into her hair and says that she looks dashing.

 

We cut to Rita walking outside towards a group of skeletons. Eagle-eyed viewers will be able to tell that these skeletons look that the photos on the Wall of Ancestors. Rita asks them if they’re ready to visit the Land of the Living. Of course, the Ancestors are ready. The skeletal ancestors smile at each other as they walk across a stone passageway, one of many that are parallel to each other, as they walk from the Land of the Dead to a huge shining light that leads them to the Land of the Living.

 

Once the ancestors disappear into the light, and the camera dollies away from one of the festive lights hanging below the ceiling of the Sanchez family home as we see the ancestors pouring into the dining room and greeting the family that doesn’t see them. We cut to a montage of Rita and the other ancestors as they react when the other family members come inside the house and greet Catalina, reside over them as they eat dinner, and dance with them when the older members of the family are dancing hand in hand.

 

A comical scene happens when Catalina sits down and talks in Spanish with her younger cousin, Sandra (Cristela Alonzo), about Catalina’s sister Rita—of course, as Rita stands nearby to listen to the whole thing. The women talk about how Rita tragically died during a dance performance when she tripped on her dress and hit her head. She would’ve been Catalina’s age if it wasn’t for the accident. But, surely, she’s dancing in the afterlife.

 

Catalina: We made a promise to protect each other’s children at her Quinceañera. I’m sure she still does, even as an ancestor.

 

Meanwhile, Rita and another ancestor talk about how the two women have the same conversation every single year.

 

As the family gathering winds down, Felix asks his father Omar if he can go to Guile’s party. Omar tells his son that he really ought to stay with the family, especially during the celebration. When Felix promises to be back at the house by a certain time, Omar grants him permission, but only on the condition that he takes his sister Mia with him to the party. Felix reluctantly accepts this, and Mia, albeit feeling a lot of mixed emotion at the prospect of leaving the family gathering to go to a party, follows him out of the house. As Felix and Mia leave, the family’s ancestors talk about Felix and how rude and inconsiderate they deem his departure to be.

 

Felix’s departure reminds the ancestors of someone else who has to leave early from a family gathering. They all turn to Rita and encourage her to leave early from the family gathering so she can go rehearse for her dance performance in the afterlife. Rita tries to say that she doesn’t necessarily need to do that yet, but the ancestors insist that the dance is important to her, and she should be there with the other dancers to prepare with them. A part of Rita agrees with this, so she thanks the other ancestors and hurries back to the Land of the Dead.

 

****

 

On the way to the party, in Felix’s car, Mia thanks him for driving her to the party—she brings up the fact that she doesn’t have her own car yet. Felix’ tells her “don’t mention it.” As they drive on the highway, they talk about what they think Guile’s party is going to be like. Felix surmises that, while a good amount of teenagers will be there, it won’t be any more packed than Guile’s previous parties have been.

 

We cut from the highway to a hilly neighborhood with big two-story houses. Felix and Mia are surprised when they see a line of cars parked on the curb way far away from Guile’s house. The siblings exchange confused glances before stepping out of the car. Once they’re out, they hear a strange vibration.

 

Mia: That’s not music, is it?

 

Felix and Mia walk quickly towards the sound. They find the house and see that colorful strobe-lights are emanating from the living room window. A loud commotion can be heard.

 

Felix: No. He. Did. Not.

Mia: Should we go in or go home? This looks pretty wild.

 

Felix thinks for a moment, then answers.

 

Felix: We’ll just stay for an hour. 

Mia: Are you sure?

Felix: Yeah. We’ll say hi to Guile, have some fun, and leave before it gets too late.

Mia: If you say so, mi hermano.

 

Felix and Mia walk into the house, where a lot of teenagers are partying. A lot of them are holding red Dixie cups. The living room’s been made into a makeshift rave party, and there’s a couple making out on the couch. Everyone other than Felix and Mia is wearing face makeup for Dia de los Muertos.

 

Fernando calls out to Felix from the living room. They exchange a brief moment. Fernando is much more enthusiastic than Felix had anticipated.

 

Guile walks up to Felix and Mia, and he welcomes them to the party. Felix asks him why he’s thrown such a crazy party. Guile reveals that the ambitious nature of the event was his friend Leon’s idea—Leon did most of the planning and outreach for the party, Guile is just as shocked as Felix that the party’s reached this crazy level. Only a few of the guests are people that Guile invited himself!

 

Felix: Have you tried to stop it?

Guile: Nah, hotshot. It’s the Day of the Dead, and you only live once! Nothing bad has happened yet, so I’m letting it ride!

 

Guile then introduces his sister Christie (Ariel Winter) to Felix and Mia. Christie asks Mia if she wants the makeup on her face, and she drags her by the hand upstairs before Mia is really able to say yes.

 

The couple making out on the couch notice Felix when they come up for air, and they come up to introduce themselves. The girl introduces herself as Bianca (Cierra Ramirez) while the guy introduces himself as Leon (Daniel Zolghadri). Leon shakes Felix’s hand vigorously and tells him he hopes he likes what he sees.

 

Felix: How in the world did you pull this off?

Leon: I go for what I want, man.

 

We cut to a short montage of events at the party. For both Felix and Mia, this includes dancing and putting on makeup for Dia de los Muertos. Mia drinks alcohol in this montage.

 

Leon, Guile, and other guys attempt to coax Felix into participating in a dangerous drinking game. Felix does not consider the fact that he is Mia’s ride home, and he accepts the challenge fairly quickly.

 

At the kitchen table, Felix and Guile sit across from each other and act ‘real cool’ as Leon goes to pour the drinks. They talk about how Guile’s team won the soccer game; Felix is clearly itching to win something against his rival. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, Leon takes out two bottles of pills and pours one bottle’s worth into each of the cups. He grins, takes the cups, and slides them toward the players.

 

Leon: Bottoms up, amigos.

 

Felix immediately starts drinking from his cup. Guile stares into his cup, and his eyes widen. Guile stares at Felix, who is chugging the cup’s contents, pills and all. Felix slams the empty cup down on the table and hangs his head down.

 

Felix: What… What was in that… I’m getting lightheaded… You didn’t drink, Guile?

 

The other guys stare at Felix in disbelief. Guile is especially aghast. Leon howls in laughter.

 

Leon: Holy shit! I didn’t think you’d actually drink that! I put those pills in there as a joke!

Felix: …Huh what?

Leon: You just gulped down a whole bottle of pills! Ha ha!

Felix: Oh… Huh… Uh…

Guile: What the hell, Leon? You don’t know what those pills could do to him!

Leon: I just wanted to see what happens! You’re letting it ride, right?

 

Guile stands up. He states his own disagreement, helps Felix out of his chair, and walks him upstairs.

 

Guile: You gotta think before you do things, hotshot…

 

They walk into a bedroom. Guile shoos away a couple who is fooling around on the bed, and he lays Felix down on the mattress. Felix is losing his grip on his surroundings.

 

Guile: Listen, Felix. I don’t know where Leon got those pills from, and I don’t know what they’re going to do to you. For the sake of the party, I’m going to take a bit of a gamble and trust you’ll be alright. But I can still call an ambulance if you want me to.

Felix: …I’ll be fine… But…

Guile: There’s water on the nightstand if you want some.

Felix: …Mia…

Guile: I’ll make sure she’s alright. But you need to rest. Just stay strong, hotshot.

 

Felix reaches out for Guile as Guile leaves the room. Felix falls into a cold sweat.

 

We cut to Guile as he walks downstairs. He looks around wearily before reaching for the phone in his pocket.

 

Guile: No… He might die… I’m calling an ambulance…

 

Suddenly, a group of girls surround him and coax him towards the backyard, where there is a pool. Guile turns around as he’s being dragged away, and he sees Leon, who is flashing a sinister smile. Someone passes by the camera, and he disappears suddenly. The girls yank Guile away so hard that he drops his smartphone, and the smartphone shatters into pieces on the ground. Guile has no choice but to whisper apologies to Felix.

 

On the bed upstairs, Felix is sweating profusely. He reaches for the bottle of water on the nightstand, his fingertips nudging it, but he accidentally knocks it down onto the floor. He stares up at the ceiling fan, which swiftly whirs around.

 

Felix: Forgive me, Mia…

 

We see a POV shot of the whirring fan. He slowly closes his eyes, and the screen becomes black.

 

****

 

Rita is getting ready for the dance with the other dancers. She is putting on lipstick when a skeleton in a suit comes into the room.

 

Tuxedo Skeleton: I’m looking for Rita Sanchez.

Rita: That’s me. What do you need?

Tuxedo Skeleton: I have urgent news for the Sanchez family. The rest of the Sanchez ancestors are in the Land of the Living, so I’ve reached out to you.

Rita: …What is it?

 

We abruptly cut to Juan, who is helping set up the dance show. Suddenly, the pager on his belt rings, and he answers it—but Rita’s sharp, frantic voice rattles his bones. Rita tells him to delay the performance as far back as he possibly can—she is going to the Land of the Living.

 

****

 

We cut to a black screen—then the eyes of Felix’s POV shot are opened. He is staring up at the ceiling fan.

 

Felix: Wha… Why am I standing… Wasn’t I…

 

He stares down towards his bed and sees his idle body.

 

Felix: …That’s me! Why am I…

 

He looks down at his hands and sees that he has become a skeleton.

 

Felix: You’ve gotta be kidding me!

 

He looks around the room, finds a mirror, and stares into it—giving the audience the full image of Felix as a skeleton spirit. The skeleton wears the same hair and the same clothes as Felix’s human body—so it’s Felix, but in skeleton form.

 

We cut from the POV to Leon and Bianca barging to the room with the intention of fooling around. They pause as they look down at Felix’s body.

 

Felix: Leon, it’s me!

 

Leon and Bianca walk towards the body on the bed. Felix attempts to run up to Leon, but their bodies walk through each other. Felix reacts in confusion.

 

Bianca: Why’s there someone on the bed?

Leon: Er… Well… Um… He’s probably asleep! But if we put him under the bed where nobody sees, the bed’s all ours!

Bianca: Why under the bed?

Leon: Think about it. He gets a private place to sleep, and we get a place to get our groove on. It’s a win-win.

Bianca: Okay! If you say so!

 

The couple places the body under the bed as Felix stares in horror. Once they’re done, Leon reaches into Felix’s jean pocket, grabs Felix’s keys, and tosses them to Bianca.

 

Leon: Put them somewhere where they won’t be stolen. For safekeeping. Then come back, and we’ll have our fun.

Bianca: Okay!

 

Bianca runs out of the room, and Leon stares down at the bed. Felix becomes enraged, and yells at him thinking he cannot hear him.

 

Felix: First you spike my drink and then you do this? Damn you, Leon!

 

Leon surprises Felix by turning towards him. Leon flashes his monstrous smile.

 

Leon: Who said I was Leon?

 

A vortex of shadow envelopes Leon’s body, causing a breeze that blows against Felix’s clothes. Felix’s eyes widen as he sees the true form of the entity before him: it is a shadowy, hunch-backed monster with sharp claws and jagged teeth. With a playfully menacing tone of voice, the fiend introduces itself as El Cucuy (voice performance by Michael Peña). Felix backs away in fear.

 

Felix: That’s impossible! El Cucuy is a folktale used to make children behave!

El Cucuy: And you’re a skeleton! Ever think of that?

Felix: No… Leon was a disguise… The whole time, you were…

El Cucuy: The one and only El Cucuy, you fool! You’re the first one I’ve punished, and you won’t be the last! Ha ha ha!

 

El Cucuy points and laughs at Felix like a grade school bully. Felix dizzily makes his way out of the room, and he moves throughout the house, aimlessly and uneasily. He looks around and begins to see sinister glints of red in some of the partygoers. He trips and falls down the staircase—his bones disassemble, and the parts of his skeletal body fall all the way down the stairs. The head rolls face-up on the ground floor, and Felix gasps as we cut to a low Dutch-angle shot of a stern skeleton in a large black hooded poncho (Antonio Banderas). This skeleton looks down at a piece of paper and asks the skull below him if he is Felix Sanchez.

 

Felix: Who… Who are you?!

Agustín: When most of my clients first see me, they call me ‘Death’. No need to be so formal. Call me Agustín.

Felix: What’s happened to me?!

 

In the same Dutch angle, Agustín leans really close to the camera.

 

Agustín: You’re dead, stupid.

 

****

 

We cut to Agustín and Felix as they finish putting all of Felix’s bones back together. Felix sits down on the front steps of Guile’s house as Agustin stands and reveals that El Cucuy had poisoned him with the use of those pills—the pills were simply a disguise for the poison.

 

Felix asks Agustín what is going to happen to him now that he is dead. Agustín tells him that he is simply going to be taken to Land of the Dead, where he will remain until he is forgotten by his living relatives. But before that, he’ll be taking Felix on an obligatory reflection tour. Anything Felix wants to ask concerning his friends and family, he can do so during the tour.

 

Agustín: I’d imagine you’re upset about dying. Most people are. So I won’t rush you if you need to take it in. We’ve got all the time in the world.

Felix: …Back there… Why’d you call me stupid?

Agustín: Okay. No offense, kid, but you’ve got a skeleton body, you’re walking right through people, and you’re seeing demons in plain sight. Get a clue, it should be obvious.

 

Suddenly, Agustín’s pager rings. As Agustín reaches to answer it, Felix asks him why he’s using a pager instead of a more modern communication device.

 

Agustín: Don’t ask questions until I ask you to ask questions.

Felix: (grumbles to himself) So much for not rushing me…

 

Agustín takes the pager. He talks with a sharp, frantic voice for a bit. Then he turns to Felix.

 

Agustín: Um… We usually don’t allow ancestors to see newly deceased family members before the reflection tour, but… No one has been able to stop her from coming here.

 

Suddenly, a rift of light appears. Rita walks through it, and the light fades away. Felix stands up onto his feet.

 

Felix: …You’re Rita! My mother’s sister.

 

They walk toward each other. Felix tries to tell her that he’s heard a lot about her, but Rita slaps Felix in the face. The slap causes Felix’s skull to spin around the spine like a top. Felix repositions his head in shock as Rita chews him out for dying so irresponsibly on the night of Dia de los Muertos. Because of the promise she had made to Catalina, Rita felt obliged to come to Felix’s side, thus forcing her to delay the dance.

 

Agustín: Rita Sanchez, is it? You do know that it is the job of the Soul Accountant—in other words, it is my job—to walk the newly deceased through the next phase of existence.

Rita: Fine then. Be his Soul Accountant. But I have the right to accompany him.

Rita glares at Felix.

Rita: Especially if I can no longer protect him.

Felix stares down in sadness.

 

Agustín begins the reflection tour—the three skeletons float up in the air and have a top-down view of Guile’s house. He begins by sharing information about El Cucuy as they watch him walk through the house in the form of Leon. According to Agustín, El Cucuy’s objective is punish children for misbehaving and staying up late. But when El Cucuy caught wind of Guile’s Dia de los Muertos party, where teenagers would not only be misbehaving and staying up late, but also using what was supposed to be a time for remembering ancestors as a means to pursue selfish wants, the demon resolved to punish Guile and anyone foolish enough to come to his party. El Cucuy disguised himself as not only Leon, but as the excess crowd of partygoers within the house. And he plans to cause the deaths of all the guests, just like he did with Felix.

 

They move around in the sky to catch views of a few specific teenagers. There is Rafael (Marcel Ruiz), a high school swimmer who is a few years younger than the other guests, who was coerced into coming in order to gain attention from older students. There is Fernando, who feels like he needs more friends and came to the party to find some. There’s Christie, Guile’s sister who wanted to use the party as a means to draw makeup on the faces of the guests. There’s Bianca, who—well—let’s just say her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top. And then there’s Mia—Felix’s sister. She’s left stranded and drinking at a dangerous rate. And those are just five of the people El Cucuy plans to ‘punish’.

 

They fly above the backyard, where there is a pool and a hot tub. Felix sees that Guile is sitting in the hot tub with the three girls who dragged him there—he also sees that Guile is wearing a frown. Agustín explains that El Cucuy plans to spare Guile’s life. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be punished; after the other partygoers are killed, El Cucuy plans to pin the blame for murder charges and manslaughter charges onto Guile—the idea for a party was originally Guile’s after all.

 

They fly at high speed all the way to Felix’s house, and they go inside. Omar, Catalina, and Sandra are the only ones left in the house. Agustín explains to Felix that his parents are waiting him and Mia to come home. Rita chimes in and explains that Sandra is with them because she was a part of the promise at the Quinceañera to protect each other’s children.

 

Suddenly, all of Felix’s other dead ancestors pour into the living room from another room.

 

Ancestor #1: Rita, why are you… Felix? Is that you?

Agustín: Weren’t you supposed to go back to the Land of the Dead after the end of the Gathering?

Ancestor #2: We were just admiring the Wall of Ancestors, is all.

Ancestor #3: Can’t believe we’re adding another Sanchez to the Wall so soon.

Ancestor #4: All that time watching him grow up at the Watching Wells might’ve been for nothing, huh?

Ancestor #5: Don’t say that, Alejandro!

Ancestor #6: I made a bet that he’d get a scholarship for football. But this? Damn. I guess I owe him.

Ancestor #7: No offense, Rita, but Catalina’s gonna hold a vendetta against you for a long time.

Ancestor #8: I guess what’s done is done. We must welcome him as a new Ancestor.

Ancestor #9: Don’t be afraid, Felix. Being dead isn’t so bad.

 

Felix becomes overwhelmed to the point of tears, and he rushes out of the house. Agustín and Rita follow Felix as he storms away. Felix begins to cry and shed tears as he is walking away.

 

Rita: Felix…

 

Felix turns toward them, and he puts his hands together in a pleading position.

 

Felix: Agustín!

 

Agustín opens his boney palms toward the starry sky, and a massive book appears in his hand. He flips through the pages.

 

Agustín: The tour is over. Once I cross off your name, you’ll be transported to the Land of the Dead.

Felix: No, Agustín! I’m not ready to die! Please, no!

Agustín: Oh, trust me, kid, you are not the first one to try and plead for their life in front of me.

Felix: Please! I want to live!

Agustin: You’re DEAD, stupid. Do I need the meaning out for you? I swear, the young are all the same in front of the Soul Accountant! I can’t grant you a second chance, it doesn’t work like that! I don’t know what else to tell you!

 

Agustín’s reaches for the name with his pen. We cut to Felix, who gets an idea.

 

Felix: Wait!

 

Felix falls to his knees and tugs on Agustín’s poncho. The Soul Accountant looks down at Felix and raises the part of his skull where an eyebrow should be.

 

Felix: If I must die… Then fine. I’ll die. But at least let me make sure that nothing happens to Mia. I don’t want her to die, too. 

 

They stare at each other for a moment. Rita looks back and forth between them in suspense. Finally, Agustín sighs. He closes the book and steps around as he talks.

 

Agustín: Felix. I’ll let you in on something important. Even if I wanted to make an exception… Two conditions would need to be met—after all, we can’t just give away second chances for free. The first would be the completion of an Important Favor. In other words, something that saves the Land of the Dead a lot of pain and heartache. But the second one is much harder to secure. In addition to the completion of the Favor, a soul from the Land of the Dead must sacrifice their existence in order to grant a newly deceased soul the right to a second chance at life—and that must done before the name is crossed out. But I’d love to see you pretend like you’re important enough to call on an ancestor who is willing to do that for you.

 

Felix takes in the words. He frowns, and he cranes his head down. Rita stares at him with her arms crossed. Agustín reopens the book.

 

Agustín: Anyone you’re brave enough to ask? Going once… Going twice…

Rita: Agustín.

 

Rita steps forward.

 

Rita: I made a promise to his mother. If he is able to complete his task, then I, Rita Sanchez, will surrender my existence so that Felix may live again.

Felix: Rita…

 

Agustín smiles.

 

Agustín: Then let’s discuss that task of his, shall we?

 

He shuts the book.

 

****

 

The three fly above Guile’s house. Agustín reveals that, in order to gain a second chance, Felix must save the lives of all the human party guests that El Cucuy is planning to ‘punish’. In addition, Felix must also aid in the capture of El Cucuy, so that El Cucuy may be deterred from performing a similar stunt. 

Agustín: If a whole slew of young people die or have their lives ruined on the night of Dia de los Muertos, that upsets not only the people themselves and their loved ones who are alive, but also their ancestors who have been watching them grow up and wishing for their success in life. Plus, a bunch of kids dying mysteriously on the holiday means the whole tradition is thrown into a whirlwind of scrutiny on Earth. If people are dissuaded from remembering their ancestors, the deceased are gonna be losing their existence a lot faster than they would have before. That’s a lot of stress and a lot of hassle on the deceased who should be at rest in this stage of their existence. So if you’re able to save these lives, that’d be seen as a huge favor from the folks in the Land of the Dead.

Felix does not, by any means, believe that he is capable of doing this. Agustín reassures him that it’s doable if he goes in with a strategy. Neither Agustín nor Rita can tell Felix exactly what he needs to do, but Felix can ask as many Yes-or-No questions as he wants. Guile’s words appear in Felix’s mind: “You gotta think before you do things, hotshot…”

 

They travel to the backyard where the pool is and see that “Leon” is high-fiving many of the “other houseguests”. Leon looks and sees Rafael on the diving board; Rafael jumps off the diving board and does an impressive flip in the air before landing in the air, and the spectators clap for him. Leon smirks; when Rafael climbs out of the pool, Leon steps in front of him and tells him that he should do something more impressive than a simple backflip. He should do a triple corkscrew. Rafael doesn’t even know if that’s possible, but Leon insists that the crowd would love it. As Rafael walks toward the diving board, a dark violet wisp travels next to Leon; it forms into El Cucuy’s monstrous form, leans on Leon’s shoulder, and smirks up at Felix.

 

Felix racks his brain trying to come with an idea. He then asks Agustín… if he, as a skeleton spirit, can possess inanimate objects as a poltergeist would. Agustín and Rita exchange mischievous glances.

 

Rafael steps onto the diving board, and the “other guests” around him cheer him. Rafael stretches his arms, breathes in, and breathes out. He jumps once, planning to jump again… and the board suddenly, unnaturally, curves downward. Gravity takes Rafael down, and, in a split-second decision to protect himself, he stumbles into the water below. The spectators moan in disappointment as Rafael rises up from the water; Rafael, unscathed but unsettled, resolves not to dive again as he swims out of the pool. El Cucuy, not wanting to ruin Leon’s image, goes through Leon to help Rafael out of the pool and console him, while El Cucuy’s real form stands dumbfounded.

 

El Cucuy: What?! Come on! I almost had him!

 

Felix’s spirit rises up from within the diving board. He crosses his arms and winks at the monster.

 

Felix: Let’s see who’s punished now, El Cucuy.

 

El Cucuy leaps to slash Felix, but Felix disappears as the claw goes through. El Cucuy grumbles and throws a hissy fit. In the sky, Felix has a brief celebration with Agustín and Rita, but Agustín reminds him that there’s still work to be done.

 

They travel to the Makeup Room, where Christie is painting Bianca’s face. Christie tells Bianca to wait in the room as she goes to get a handheld mirror. Christie hums a song in her head when the girl next to her turns to her and tells her to swallow a stick of lipstick—container and all. The girl claims that it’ll make her body more responsive to beauty products. Bianca, a comically stupid individual, pops the lipstick in her mouth, and she immediately starts choking. Felix, through the makeup drawer, harshly opens the drawer that its directly in front of Bianca’s stomach; this move, Heimlich-style, launches the lipstick out of her mouth. Bianca gasps, and the “girl next to her” pretends to help her. Felix’s spirit comes out of the drawer and congratulates himself, but Rita appears to him and tells him that Christie has been coaxed into the living room to dance to the music, and that she’s in danger.

 

Felix glides into the living room. The neon strobe lights are flashing, and the guests are jumping wildly to electronic dance music. Felix wades through the people—literally, right through the people—until he looks and sees Christie, who is dancers in a crowded spot.

 

Felix: How does she die again?

Agustin: She falls and gets trampled.

Felix: I think I know what to do.

 

Felix floats toward the computer next to the speakers that are blaring loud electronic dance music. We cut to Christie as she continues to lose herself to the music, until she trips and falls to the ground. She realizes that she’s in danger—a cluster of fast-succession, claustrophobic shots demonstrate this—and she screams for help. Suddenly, the computer glitches and sparks fly out from its wires, and the music cuts to a stop. Everyone stops jumping, and other houseguests help Christie up off of the ground.

 

Felix emerges from the computer and asks Agustín where Fernando is and how he’s going to die.

 

Agustín: Death by garage door.

Felix blinks twice.

Felix: …You’re kidding.

 

We cut to the garage as a group of muscular teenagers crowd around Fernando and dare him to try and stop the garage door from closing with his body—in other words, laying down where the garage door is closing and daring that it won’t crush the body. One of the muscular teenagers tries this successfully to try and show Fernando that it’s possible. Fernando reluctantly accepts the dare and lies down where the garage door is closing, but the garage door is closing much more rapidly than it did for the muscular teenager. Felix jumps into a box on the shelf of the workbench and, as the box, leaps down below the closing door, blocking the garage door just before it closes down on Fernando’s waist. The muscular teenagers try to dare Fernando into trying it again, but Fernando, petrified, walks away down the driveway, telling them that he wants to go home.

 

Agustín: Thank goodness. He would’ve been squashed like Piggy.

Felix: …I don’t get that reference.

Rita: …Do you not read books, Felix?

Felix: Books?

Agustín: Forget it, kid. We still have lives to save.

 

We cut to Fernando as he’s stumbling towards his car. Guile calls out to him and runs up to him before he leaves.

 

Guile: Do you have a minute, Fernando?

Fernando: Dude, it’s almost past my curfew, I’m going home.

Guile: Just hear me out, alright? Between you and me… I think something’s going on. People have come up to me and told me they’ve almost died.

Fernando: …Well, I, too, almost died.

Guile: …Okay then. Follow me to my room. I’m putting a group together, and we’re gonna talk about what’s happening.

 

****

 

“Leon” walks into the spacious first-story bathroom of the house. El Cucuy transforms into his monstrous form and paces around the room, rubbing his hands together.

 

El Cucuy: Those meddling skeletons are ruining my plans! This would’ve been a productive night if it wasn’t for them! Think, you ghoul… Think… I can’t attack anyone directly… No, that would give me away… Think, El Cucuy, who’s left to punish… There’s the sister, I haven’t punished her yet… No, if I go for one single person again, I’ll surely be beat! I need to go for a crowd of people! But how… I know… I must become a character they’ll wanna listen to!

 

A guest knocks on the door of the bathroom and asks if anyone is in there. El Cucuy opens the door, but he doesn’t open as Leon. He opens as Ignacio (Anthony Ramos), a pompous college dropout with jet black sunglasses, slick-backed hair, and a smug, cheeky smile. He struts out of the bathroom and attempts to act like the coolest man in the world. He calls party guests over to him, reaches into the inside of his black leather jacket, and pulls out a bunch of needles that contain heroin. He begins to advertise heroin to the party guests with smooth words, but most of the party guests are unfazed by the words—they are aware of the drug’s effects. Desperate to convince the partygoers to do the heroin, Ignacio opens his jacket wide, and we see that rows of heroin needles are duct-taped to the inside of his jacket. “This dude needs some help,” says a party-goer. Suddenly, one by one, the needles fly out of his hands and out of his jacket, and all the needles float in the air, pointed towards Ignacio. A couple shots of Ignacio running away from the needles and the partygoers watching the event from a safe distance later, and the needles have pinned Ignacio to the ground via his blue jeans. What’s more: the needles have pulled down the jeans, revealing the classic red-heart-pattern boxers underneath. “Karma’s a bitch,” says a party guest.

 

Ignacio watches as the rest of the Actual Party Guests leave the party, alluding his grasp. This means there is only one individual left that El Cucuy can try and punish.

 

Guile and Fernando walk back into the house, look down at Ignacio, and agree with each other that something supernatural really is going on inside of the house.

 

Felix, Agustín, and Rita sit on top of the roof of the house—according to the Soul Accountant, it’s safe to take a break, because El Cucuy is going to bide his time after his embarrassing loss he had trying to use the heroin dropout character. Rita pats Felix on the back and tells him that the way he took down Ignacio was really impressive and creative. Felix smiles, knowing that he’s been getting better as he’s been going along. When Felix says that the task was easier than he thought it would be at first, Agustín explains that, while El Cucuy is a powerful fiend who has the power to disguise himself as an entire crowd’s worth of humans at once, he is not an attacker. As seen at the pool, El Cucuy’s attacks aren’t even effective—neither on humans nor spirits. Therefore, El Cucuy is a trickster who manipulates individuals into unintentionally enacting punishment onto themselves. El Cucuy is a good tool to shape children’s behavior for the better when he is under high regulation by the authorities of the Land of the Dead, but when he is allowed to roam free, he is, for lack of a better word, a psychopath. That’s why it’s important to capture such a jester.

 

They look at the night stars. Rita asks Felix if he knows the story of how she died. Felix tells her that his mom tells that story often, and Rita laughs. Rita tells him that she’s always loved to dance. While her siblings took up normal jobs in society, she decided to take the path of becoming a dancer. It was a much harder path, but she dedicated herself to it, and, in her prime, she was very renowned. Rita tells him that she wishes he had been able to see her dance. But she also tells him that he is a good person, that he deserves the second chance (from what she’s seen thus far), and that her sacrifice will certainly not be in vain. She apologizes to Felix for slapping him, and Felix tells her not to mention it.

 

Agustín briefly glances at both of them before looking standing up and telling them it’s time to get back to the task. He takes a vial out of its pocket and hands it to Felix—it’s a suction device that can trap life  inside of it, and it must be used to capture El Cucuy. Agustín warns that he may have to make Felix visible to his humans friends for a brief moment during the capture of El Cucuy, so that his human friends are not accidently sucked into the vial; he asks Felix if he is okay with this, and Felix says that he is.

 

We cut to Guile walking with Fernando into his room. Guile addresses Rafael, Bianca, Christie, Fernando, and Leon. He tells them that something really weird is going in the house. During the meeting, the camera follows a stick of lipstick as it bounces across the tops of the drawers towards the mirror. The meeting goes on for a long time, and Guile and Leon get into disagreements; Guile tells Leon that the weird events started when Leon put the pills in Felix’s drink. Leon tries to position himself as an ally, but the people in the room all look at the mirror; the lipstick seems to be writing by itself, and it writes the words “Leon is El Cucuy”.

 

Everyone stares at “Leon”, who grin. He claps his hands and howls in laughter.

 

Leon: That skeleton just made the worst decision of his life. Or should I say ‘death’…

 

Leon disappears in a vortex of shadow as the other teens watch with their jaws down. Guile rushes to the mirror and asks who is writing. The lipstick writes ‘Felix’. The room goes quiet, and Guile expresses his guilt for letting this happen to Felix. The lipstick writes that there’s still a way to save him, but in order for that to happen, they need to save Mia. The group resolves to help in any way they can. Christie is the one to ask: “…Where is Mia?”

 

****

 

We cut to the living room as the camera tilts from a table littered with red cups to Mia, who is sitting on the couch in a drunken gaze. Leon comes up to her and asks her if she’s okay.

 

Mia: I-I’m f-f-f-fine, I’m… I’m just inebriated…

Leon: First time drinking.

Mia sways.

Leon: Come upstairs with me.

 

Mia stammers. Leon guides her carefully out of the living room and up the stairs. We cut to the bedroom as they walk in. Mia notices that a leg is sticking out from underneath the bed; she leans down to check and sees that the leg belongs to Felix’s body. Mia shakes Felix’s leg and tries to wake him up. “Leon” notices this and tells Mia that she wasn’t supposed to see the body. Leon drags Mia downstairs, pushes her out of the open front door, and tosses her the keys to Felix’s car.

 

Leon: You wanna find out what happened to Felix? Fine then. Drive yourself home. Let’s see how far you get.

 

Mia stumbles down the driveway towards Felix’s car. In Guile’s room, Fernando opens the blinds of the window and sees that Mia is walking outside—he alerts the others, and they all run outside of the room. But they look over the railing of the second story, and they see that the whole crowd of El Cucuy’s disguises are staring up at them. Leon stands in the front with their arms crossed.

 

Leon: I’m not letting you save Mia. Did you see how much she drank tonight? On the night of the ancestors? She deserved to be punished.

Guile: You’re wrong. Every single one of us made mistakes tonight. But that doesn’t mean any of us should die.

Leon: (laughs) …You know of my existence, so I can’t kill you…

The crowd of disguises are all pulled into the center body, and a vortex of shadow whirls around it like a violet tornado.

El Cucuy: …But I can scar you for life! Behold, my true form!

 

El Cucuy appears to the teenagers as a massive, raging cloud of ghastly shadow with a bright jack-o-lantern face. The teenagers stand their ground against the violent wind pressing against them. A voice from behind the teenagers tells them to move out of the way; the teenagers turn, and they see Felix’s spirit holding the unopened vial. The teenagers make way, and Felix runs to rail, opening the vial—“Messing with us was your last mistake!”—and El Cucuy is sucked into the vial.

 

El Cucuy: My chaos shall reign! One of these days!

 

Once the purple menace is trapped inside of the veil, Felix closes it shuts. He leaps down from the railing onto the first story below and looks back at all the other teenagers.

 

Guile: Go get her, hotshot.

 

Felix nods to Guile before disappearing from the teenager’s vision.

 

Fernando: …Guys… I think that was the coolest thing I’ve seen in my entire life.

 

****

 

Felix runs out into the street and sees that Mia has already driven off in his car. Felix turns to Agustín and asks him how in the world they’re gonna catch up to Mia before she crashes. Agustín steps out into the street and throws off his poncho with his right arm.

 

Agustín: Us deceased are capable of more than you might think.

 

Agustín leaps into the air, transforms auto-bot style, and comes back down as a bone-frame motorcycle.

 

Agustín: Get on!

 

Felix gets on the motorcycle, and they drive away at high speed as Rita watches from the street.

 

We cut to Felix and Agustin as they pass through cars on the night highway at high speed. They finally come across the car, and, through intercutting, we see that Mia is on the verge of losing her grip on her sight of the road.

 

Felix: What do I do, Agustín?!

Agustín: I can’t tell you that! You have to come up with the idea yourself!

Felix: …Should I possess the car?

Agustín: Kid, that’s not the safest way to do this, but it’s an option!

Felix: How do I get to the car, then?!

Agustín: Jump off of me!

Felix: What if I miss?!

Agustin: You won’t miss, just jump!

 

Felix jumps off of the motorcycle and glides into the car. Just as Mia is about to veer to the other lane and hit another car, the car horn honks twice, and the car jerks from the lane. Mia starts to freak out as she realizes the car is in control of itself, but Felix soothes her by speaking to her through the radio that everything is going to be okay—she just needs to relax.

 

We cut to the Sanchez house as Catalina and Omar begin to talk about how it’s way past the curfew they set for Felix and Mia, and that they’re getting worried and curious about how they’re doing. Just then, the car drives into their driveway with the headlights on full blast—the parents (and Sandra the cousin) all notice the headlights and run outside. The car puts itself in park and switches off his own ignition. Catalina opens the door to the driver’s seat where Mia is sitting and asks her why she drove Felix’s car back to the house. Mia is to shaken up, to inebriated, to frightened to explain, so she simply begins to cry. The parents console her and tell her that everything is going to be okay. As Omar helps Mia into the house, Catalina and Sandra emotionally discuss how they think Rita was there with her and Felix to make sure that they were safe.

 

Of course, Rita was watching all of this from a distance. She sheds tears of joy, happy that she was able to fulfill her promise. Felix’s spirit comes out of the car, and Felix and Rita give each other a big hug. Agustín rolls up to them as a motorcycle, transforms back into a skeleton spirit, and congratulates Felix for a job well done.

 

Felix realizes that it’s time for Rita to sacrifice her existence. In a last ditch effort to save Rita, he asks if there’s a way that there doesn’t have to be a sacrifice of that manner, but Rita comforts him and tells him that, even though it must be done, she’s made her peace with it. Agustín summons the book and flips to Rita’s crossed-out name. He brings the eraser close to the name, glances at Rita, and closes the book without erasing it.

 

Agustín: I shouldn’t do it yet.

Rita: What? Why?

Agustín: …You still have one more dance in the Land of the Dead.

Rita suddenly remembers about the dance, and she is filled with great joy that she is able to perform one last dance before she is erased from existence. She runs up to Agustín and whispers a question into his ear as Felix watches in interest. Then Rita runs back to Felix and asks him if he wants to go to the Land of the Dead to watch her dance performance.

 

Rita: It’s okay. It’s allowed.

 

The three walk through a rift of light, and Felix finds himself sitting in the front row seat of a large auditorium, surrounded by many skeleton spirits. Agustín is sitting right next to him, and all of Felix’s ancestors are also sitting around him. Felix’s ancestors take turns complimenting Felix’s valiant effort in saving the lives of the other teenagers.

 

Backstage, we see the dancers getting ready to run onto the stage. Rita gives the stagehand one last hug, and all the dancers run onto the stage. The lights dim. Rita strikes the same pose she struck in the beginning of the film. Suddenly, the dancers begin their performance, and Rita is moving beautifully in her Hispanic dress. We see that she confidently avoids a repeat of her infamous injury, and we see that Felix is utterly transfixed by the performance. Rita and the background dancers finish their dance, and the audience erupts in a standing ovation—though Felix is too emotional to stand.

 

Gashes of bright light begin to cover Rita as she stands onstage. She looks down at Felix with the happiest of smiles on her face. Felix realizes what is happening to her, and he leaps out of his chair and runs towards her onto the stage.

 

Felix: No! Don’t go!

 

Rita sheds a single tear as the light continues to grow.

 

Felix: I’ll always remember you, Rita! I don’t want you to go!

 

The light completely envelopes Rita, and Felix runs right into the light.

 

****

 

We fade from the light to POV shots of Felix under the covers of the bed that he had died in. At first, his POV shots have a slow shutter speed, so that the people standing around the bed are blurred out. Then, the image is normalized, and we see that Guile, Rafael, Bianca, Christie, and Fernando are all standing around the bed and staring happily at Felix. Of course, Felix is now in his human form.

 

Felix: …I’m alive!

 

The teenagers chuckle to themselves. They thank Felix for intervening when they could’ve been killed, and they express gratitude that Felix is, indeed, alive.

 

Guile: I don’t think I’ll ever throw a party again…

 

They all laugh at that statement. Felix stares down at his human hands and smiles.

 

Felix: At the risk of sounding cheesy, I’ll say this. Today was truly the Day of the Dead.

 

The teenagers resolve to help each other clean the house, and the camera rapidly ascends up towards the sky. Suddenly, it’s maneuvering through the Land of the Dead. It travels into a building with the sign that says “Memorial of the Forgotten”. And it shows a massive crowd of skeletons lining up to lay flowers in front of a portrait of the skeletal Rita that is hanging on the wall.

 

Cut to black.

 

 

Edited by SLAM!
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Pandas

Studio: Creatures Incorporated (new nature division for my studio)

Release Date: 4/8/Y6

Genre: Nature Documentary
Director: Drew Fellman
Rating: G
Budget: $5M
Theater Count: 2,450
Runtime: 77 minutes
Narrator: Jackie Chan

Composer: John Williams

 

Plot:

We follow the lives of two panda cubs, Mei and Xi, as they mature and attempt to survive life in the forest. We also learn of the other animals they face like predators such as a forceful snow leopard and other animals native to China.

Edited by YourMother the Edgelord
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1469621465-130226273.jpg

 

Studio: New Journey Pictures Animation

Director: Claude Barras

Genre: Stop Motion Animation

Release Date: June 3rd, Y6

Theater Count: 2,950

MPAA Rating: PG for Thematic Elements and Some Peril

Runtime: 70 Minutes

Production Budget: $60 Million

Composer: Christopher Willis (The score utilizes an orchestra that imbues each moment with a somewhat sophisticated form of wit and charm. Simultaneously, the score aims to convey a sense of simplistic wonderment to characterize the film's world as a place of delight as well as hostility. As there is not much by the way of dialogue, the score is doing a lot of the thematic heavy lifting.) 

 

Major Cast:

Daniel Radcliffe as Captain Olimar

 

Abstract: Captain Olimar, the one-inch tall alien pilot of the S.S. Dolphin, crashes on a mysterious planet with oxygen that is poisonous to him and, therefore, must strategically utilize the Pikmin species in order to collect all the missing parts of his ship before thirty days’ time.

 

Spoiler

(All dialogues are voice overs from Captain Olimar (Daniel Radcliffe). The dialogue is presented to quotations.)

 

We fade in. The S.S. Dolphin glides across space at a comfortable speed, passing colorful planets in the background. We cut to Captain Olimar, who is operating the spaceship, carefully surveying the area around him. We cut to a the outside of the ship, and we see that Olimar is maneuvering through an asteroid belt. We cut to an asteroid that traveling at high speed toward the ship. We cut to the Olimar’s reaction as the asteroid collides violently with the ship; a montage of harsh shots, and the S.S. Dolphin is engulfed in flames, broken into multiple pieces, and hurling down towards a mysterious planet.

 

Cut to black.

 

We fade into Olimar's POV as he wakes up on the dampened mulch of a mysterious planet. He looks around and sees that the S.S. Dolphin is damaged to high heaven. He opens the staircase of the spaceship—it's like the staircase of a plane that lets people in from the outside—and, crawling in, he discovers that his emergency signal device is broken—the implications being that he is completely on his own. He hopelessly operates it in spite of its condition—it never hurts to try and send something out there.

 

“My name is Captain Olimar. I was operating the S.S. Dolphin when it was struck by an asteroid. I find myself on a mysterious planet with oxygen that is poisonous to me. If I do not find all thirty of my ship parts by thirty days, I will surely perish. In my condition, I highly doubt that I will be able to retrieve all thirty ship parts by myself; I am therefore turning to you—to anyone who may receive this—so that my urgent plea is heard. S.O.S.. S.O.S.. S.O.S..”

 

We do not see Olimar saying these words. Instead, as these words are said, we see the Red Onion as it is whisked gently in the air, amongst daffodil cousins, seemingly being blown in random directions until it miraculously plants itself in the open field of mulch where the S.S. Dolphin has crashed.

 

We cut to Olimar, who's been staring down in sadness, as he perks his chin up and notices the Red Onion. He stands up from the ship's staircase and hurries to the device, which springs up and supports itself from the ground, as if it were alerted by Olimar's mere presence. A translucent beam of light emits from the Onion, and a bright seed is lodged into the ground. As Olimar watched with an amazed expression, a mysterious life form pokes a large green leaf out from the soil.

 

Olimar steps toward the leaf in fear. He understands that the life form is wanting to stand above the soil, as opposed to being stuck within it, but he is very nervous of the scenarios which could burst from such an action. Nevertheless, he finds the courage to pull it out, and with great strength, he yanks it out of the soil; the red life form does somersaults in the air unitl it lands on the ground and stares up at Olimar expectantly.

 

Olimar examines this wide-eyed creature with fascination; in comparison to Olimar, this creature is about the size of a sentient radish with limbs. The creature gently scratches the area below its slender mouth, and its leaf blows in the breeze. Olimar walks towards the S.S. Dolphin to grab his notebook, but he turns back around at the subtle sound of footsteps; the creature has followed him, and its stare is completely, unwavering transfixed onto Olimar. Olimar walks backwards on the tips of his toes, and he watches and discovers for himself that the creature is following him wherever he goes, without fail, without complaint.

 

Suddenly, the creature turns its head towards something in the distance and huddles towards it. Olimar follows it, and he discovers red discs lying on the ground--think of the general shape of a peppermint, and you've got the shape of these discs—each disc displaying a number. The creature picks up a disc with the number 'one' and carries it to the Onion as Olimar watches. The disc levitates under the Onion, and the Onion consumes it. Then, it plants another seed into the ground, which soon protrudes its leaf. Sure enough, when Olimar puts the new life form out of the soil, he discovers that it is another red life-form—this second one looks exactly like the first one!

 

Olimar stands flabbergasted as the two creatures interact with one another. He then gasps. He practically runs back to the discs, and the creatures follow. We cut to a montage as Olimar throws the creatures to the discs, and the creatures carry the discs to the Onion, and Olimar pulls more creatures out of the soil; this happens quite a few times, until a large amount of creatures stand before Olimar, staring up at him with expectant glares. Olimar hurries through the lush woodlands as the legion of creatures follow him; they even come across a wall, but Olimar throws Pikmin at the wall of twigs, and the Pikmin keep throwing themselves at the wall of twigs until they are able to pass through.

 

Olimar gasps in delight at the distant sight of the S.S. Dolphin's engine. But he gasps in horror at the bug-like creature—the Red Bulbin, as fans of Pikmin would undoubtedly know—that is sleeping right in front of the engine. Olimar has no defense mechanism—if he approaches the predator, he'd certainly be eaten alive. But... could the creatures that are following them stand a chance against it? Like a swarm of fire ants, perhaps?

 

Olimar doesn't have a choice but to try. He throws the creatures at the monster, one by one, and the Bulborb thrashes about, trying to shake them off, successfully killing a few of the creatures as their soul-like essence rises up from the ground before forever fading away. But, eventually, the Bulborb lets out its final cry of life, and falls to the ground with a thud. Many of the creatures carry the Bulborb to the Onion as Olimar makes his way to the engine.

 

Olimar throws creatures at the engine, and the creatures carry the engine to the S.S. Dolphin—we can tell by Olimar’s expression that the strength of the creatures is miraculous to him. Olimar is able to put the engine back into the S.S. Dolphin, and waves a friendly goodbye to the creatures as he boards the S.S. Dolphin and enters orbit around the planet. Touchingly, the creatures wave back at him.

 

****

 

Against the backdrop of the glowing planet, as the spaceship orbits, Olimar picks up his journal and writes into it.

 

“My dearly beloved. I am trapped on a mysterious planet. I am frightened, I am confused, and I am left wondering what to do and where to go. But there’s a chance I’m able to come back to you. There’s these creatures… they look reminiscent of the Pik-Pik vegetable you see at the market; so, I’ve called them Pikmin. They are much smaller in size than even I, but they are great in number. They are loyal to a fault; they, the army, and I, the commander, bring down the giants before us and repair the S.S. Dolphin, piece by piece—at least, that’s the perception I have of our truly miraculous bond. As this is life or death, I shall do everything in my power to ensure that I make it home to you. Yours truly, Olimar.”

 

Olimar shuts his journal. He stares down at the planet with a serious expression, and the planet stares back.

 

****

 

The S.S. Dolphin lands within the forest hope, and he’s greeted by the same Red Onion from the last day. It gives him a few Pikmin for the start of his day, but it clearly needs more ‘fuel’. We cut leisurely throughout many events: Olimar discovering that the red pikmin die if they touch water, Olimar discovering blue pikmin, Olimar crossing a river with blue pikmin to get to a ship part, Olimar tossing Pikmin at enemies, Olimar discovering the Yellow pikmin as well… pretty soon, we are presenting with an establishing shot of Olimar standing proudly as the pikmin, in an establishing shot, are all harmoniously carrying many items, enemies, and parts of the ship to the Red, Blue, and Yellow Onions.

 

We cut to the between the orbiting S.S. Dolphin and the work being done on the planet below as Olimar writes in his journal.

 

“My dearly beloved. Things are looking up! Me and the Pikmin are forming a much stronger bond than ever before. So you know, there are three types of Pikmin that I’ve come across—red, blue, and yellow. The yellow ones have much larger ears, it’s uncanny! I… I almost want to write that I wish you were here with me. You would love the sights and sounds of the land I am in! But, truly, it is my mission to make sure that I am home with you. But I’ve never been more confident that I’m coming home, and that I am coming home soon. Yours truly, Olimar.”

 

We cut to the planet as Olimar stands before a legion of Pikmin. He throws one red pikmin, one blue pikmin, and one yellow pikmin to a #3 disc, and those three pikmin carry the disc as Olimar hurries to distribute the other pikmin elsewhere.

 

These three pikmin are carrying the disc towards its Onion—at this point, there are separate Onions for the Red, Blue, and Yellow pikmin—when, all of a sudden, a brown-spotted bulborb with a tube-like mouth trots out of the grass right in front of them. The pikmin get spooked; they drop the disc they’re carrying and hide within the nearby blades of grass. They peak their heads out and see that the bulborb is sniffing the disc that they’ve been carrying a longs ways. The yellow pikmin drops its ears down as it reaches its hand out toward the disc, but the red pikmin holds him back, and the blue pikmin watches with its mouth agape. The bulborb slurps up the disc, swallows it whole, and waddles off in satisfaction.

 

The three pikmin stare down at the ground in sadness before cheering each other up by patting each other on the back. Suddenly, the leaves on the heads of these three pikmin grow into flower buds. They react to each other’s flower buds in amazement before a whistle can be heard from far away.

 

The three pikmin run towards the sound of the whistle, but the blue pikmin stops in his tracks and droops down its flower bud in horror. We see that the yellow pikmin is naively running towards Olimar and his collection of pikmin, who are staring up at the biggest enemy we’ve seen thus far—this one is towering over Olimar. The red pikmin drags the blue pikmin by the hand towards Olimar—the whistle was called, and they have the obligation to go to him, period, end of story.

 

Olimar hesitates as monster—an insect reminiscent of a beetle—stares down at him with menace in its eyes. They stare each other down, and Olimar makes the first move; he launches pikmin and dodge-rolls out of the way as the beetle charges towards him. Olimar launces more and more pikmin towards the monster, and it thrashes, trying to shake off as many as it can. The pikmin following Olimar frantically run by his side; some of the pikmin are knocked far away or trampled by the beetle. The pikmin continue to fight the beetle until it falls to the ground, its corpse crushing even more of the pikmin. Olimar stares in horror—the size of his pikmin has been drastically reduced. Pikmin mournfully carry the beetle towards the onion as the pikmin around Olimar stare up at him expectantly. Olimar considers their stares—even after what they’ve just been through, they are still staring up at him, waiting for the next call to action.

 

We cut back and forth from the spaceship orbiting around the planet and Olimar returning the surviving Pikmin to their Onions as they carry the last of the area’s ship parts against the backdrop of the cold night.

 

“My dearly beloved. Me and my pikmin have managed to find most of the S.S. Dolphin’s parts. But I fear what may happen to the pikmin if they continue to help me in the way they have thus far. They follow my every command, even though it leads them to their deaths. They follow my every command, even though I haven’t done anything to deserve their loyalty. Truly I tell you, they appeared to me and lent themselves to me, and it eats me up inside not knowing why.”

 

We cut back and forth from the dawn rising up in the horizon of the planet to Olimar choosing where to go next and flying his ship back onto the planet.

 

“I am now seeking the last part of the ship I need to leave this planet. Something tells me it’ll be a much more treacherous struggle to obtain this piece than any of the others. I’ll need the pikmin’s help… as well as luck… and if I can’t obtain either of those… I’ll die here. I can only hope you’re praying for my return. Yours truly, Olimar.”

 

****

 

Olimar lands his ship in a much sandier area than we’ve seen before. He gets out of the ship and looks out at the surroundings; they’re a cavern in the far-off distance, and they’re a bunch of discs scattered about, but the Red, Blue, and Yellow Onions are nowhere to be seen. Olimar tries to pick up the #1 disc, but it’s too heavy for him to carry. Frustratedly, he drops it on the ground and kicks it with his foot. He lowers his head, sits down on the disc, and waits with a worried expression.

 

We fade from a distraught Olimar to the Red, Blue, and Yellow Onions. They are stuck to the spines of cactus-like plants. The Red Onion squirms to try and get itself unstuck, and it successfully pushes itself off. The Red Onion helps the Yellow Onion off of the cactus, and it tries to help the Blue Onion; the Blue Onion at first tries to push the Red Onion away, but it eventually yields. We soon watch the Onions as they fly above the terrain of the land, across the many cracks in the dry earth.

 

We cut to Olimar as he looks up to the sky. His eyes widen with delight; he stands up and walks towards what he is seeing in the sky. We cut to the sky as the three Onions flutter down, descending towards Olimar, almost happily so. They gently land around Olimar as he looks around at all of the Onions and allows joy to overwhelm him. We cut to a powerful montage of shots where Olimar pulls the first few pikmin out from the ground and those pikmin begin to carry the disks to the Onions—the montage ends when Olimar has a massive legion of pikmin at his disposal.

 

Olimar stares into the mouth of the cavern in the far off distance. Olimar hesitates for a moment, but he looks down and notices that a red pikmin is staring up at him. Olimar smiles, strokes the red pikmin’s flower bud, and marches towards the cavern. All of the pikmin follow him.

 

He walks into the cavern and sees nothing but a wide, circular sandpit in its middle. There is a strange rock in the center of the sandpit. Olimar sneaks towards the rock to investigate it, but the rock reveals itself to be the back of a massive bulborb—the Emperor Bulbax, to be exact. This monster has a back of stone, meaning it can only be attacked from the front. Olimar throws pikmin at the monster, but the monster shakes them off immediately, killing a few. It charges at Olimar, rams into him like a buffalo, and slings him across the sandpit; Olimar’s body crashes onto the sand at high velocity like a ragdoll, and his body crushes a few of his pikmin.

 

The emperor bulbax gears up for its next attack. The pikmin stare at Olimar and see that he is injured; Olimar looks at his pikmin, and his eyes widen in surprise. We see, through the reflection of Olimar’s helmet, that the flower buds on the heads of the pikmin are beginning to bloom. We cut to the legion of pikmin in front of Olimar as all of their buds bloom into flowers right before Olimar. Olimar struggles to take this in as the pikmin turn towards the Emperor Bulbax and charge at it. The pikmin, without being commanded by Olimar, jump onto the monster and swarm it. It’s too much, even for a powerful monster like the Emperor Bulbax, and the monster, therefore, dies. The pikmin all jump for joy at the realization of their victory, and Olimar blushes in joy when the last missing ship part is ejected out of the Bulbax’s mouth.

 

Back at the makeshift base, Olimar puts the last missing ship part in its proper place. He turns towards the pikmin, who stare up at him expectantly. For the first and only time in the film’s entire runtime, we see Olimar speak.

 

Olimar: Thank you. All of you. I promise, I’ll never forget you.

 

The pikmin watch, their flowers swaying in the breeze, as Olimar enters the S.S. Dolphin and launches off into space. On the planet, the pikmin hold hands, sway side to side, and sing. As the S.S Dolphin fades deep within the vast glimmering entity of outer space, Olimar’s final voice-over is provided against the backdrop of the pikmins’ song.

 

“My dearly beloved. I have come to realize much more about the pikmin who have helped me through my plight. I’ll never know how long they’ve been searching, but, truly, they’ve been searching for a creature that could give them direction—someone who could show them how to survive. They sought me out and chose me to do just that. Now, they will never be the same. Their planet will never be the same. And, surely, I will never be the same. Yours truly, Olimar.”

 

Fade to black as the orchestral score sounds the main musical motif of the Pikmin franchise.

 

Edited by Slambros
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 <o> Secret of the Eye <o>

Director: Niki Caro

Writers: Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis and Emily Carmichael (Based on the BOOM! Comics series by Ellis and Shannon Watters)

Composer: Germaine Franco

Director of Photography: Maryse Alberti

Cast: Jazz Jennings (Jo), Sadie Sink (April), Michelle La (Mal), Ella Hunt (Molly), Daniela Demesa (Ripley), KiKi Layne (Jen), Sophia Anne Caruso (Diane), Ethan Slater (Ned), Jorge Ledenborg Jr. (REDACTED), Rachel House (REDACTED), with Dave Bautista (Scouting Lads Campmaster), and Allison Janney (Rosie)

 

Genre: Fantasy/Adventure/Comedy/Family

Release Date: May 20th

Theater Count: 3,751

Budget: $80 million

Rating: PG for action including peril and frightening moments

Runtime: 112min (1hr, 52min)

 

Premise: A rough adaptation of the first two issues of the comic, which follows five youngsters (Jo, April, Mal, Ripley, and Jen) at the Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet's Camp for the summer. Our five heroines begin to uncover something mysterious going on, especially in association with a nearby boy's camp. It's the surest sign that it's going to be one weird summer.

 

The Lumberjanes Pledge:

I solemnly swear to do my best

Every day, and in all that I do,

To be brave and strong,

To be truthful and compassionate,

To be interesting and interested,

To pay attention and question,

The world around me,

To think of others first,

To always help and protect my friends,

Then there's a line about God or whatever

And to make the world a better place

For Lumberjanes scouts

 And for everyone else.

 

Spoiler

All done! It's just under 8k words. Any feedback is appreciated!

 

Thank you!

 

Related image

 <o> Secret of the Eye <o>

Director: Niki Caro

Writers: Noelle Stevenson, Grace Ellis and Emily Carmichael (Based on the BOOM! Comics series by Ellis and Shannon Watters)

Composer: Germaine Franco

Director of Photography: Maryse Alberti

Cast: Jazz Jennings (Jo), Sadie Sink (April), Michelle La (Mal), Ella Hunt (Molly), Daniela Demesa (Ripley), KiKi Layne (Jen), Sophia Anne Caruso (Diane), Ethan Slater (Ned), Jorge Ledenborg Jr. (REDACTED), Rachel House (REDACTED), with Dave Bautista (Scouting Lads Campmaster), and Allison Janney (Rosie)

 

Genre: Fantasy/Adventure/Comedy/Family

Release Date: May 20th

Theater Count: 3,522

Budget: $80 million

Rating: PG for action including peril and frightening moments

Runtime: 112min (1hr, 52min)

 

Premise: A rough adaptation of the first two issues of the comic, which follows five youngsters (Jo, April, Mal, Ripley, and Jen) at the Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet's Camp for the summer. Our five heroines begin to uncover something mysterious going on, especially in association with a nearby boy's camp. It's the surest sign that it's going to be one weird summer.

 

The Lumberjanes Pledge:

I solemnly swear to do my best

Every day, and in all that I do,

To be brave and strong,

To be truthful and compassionate,

To be interesting and interested,

To pay attention and question,

The world around me,

To think of others first,

To always help and protect my friends,

Then there's a line about God or whatever

And to make the world a better place

For Lumberjanes scouts

 And for everyone else.

 

PLOT SUMMARY COMING WITHIN THE WEEK

 

 

The animated opening credits (in the style of the comic) introduce us to the five leads as they begin to head towards camp for the Summer, set to Germaine Franco’s score. In the midst, we see the wild and energetic Ripley driving her parents and siblings mad, Mal trying to get over her fears while riding alone into a taxi, Molly rushed into a car by her parents, April excitedly packing her bags, and Jo taking a deep breath while reading texts from April. Jo, it turns out, is in the back of a very nice car, and it's revealed that she turned down a robotics summer program to come here. As the 5 drive separately to camp, we get stylized shots of the woods, all with hidden creatures throughout.

 

The credits end with all five arriving at Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet's Camp for Hardcore Lady Times.

 

The camp’s motto? Friendship to the Max!

 

Jo (Jennings) and April (Sink) are excited to see each other again, remarking that it’s been so long since they got to hang out like this. April jokes that they'll likely get a badge out of it anyway. April’s extremely excited to jump into things, while Jo is happier to simply see her friend. Mal, (La) despite her punk rock appearance, seems a bit timid, not readily introducing herself to everyone. Molly (Hunt) looks around, feeling nervous as well. As Mal and Molly look to one another, Ripley (Demesa) excitedly jumps up and down, remarking how excited she is to spend her first summer at MQTPTCCfHLT. (She pronounces the acronym as if it were a word itself) Meanwhile, a flyer for the robotics program slips out of Jo's pocket.

 

Suddenly, a tall woman in denim and shorts proudly arrives at the door, greeting the new campers. She introduces herself as Rosie (Janney), the headmaster of the camp. She says the full name in one breath easily, fitting with her confident Rosie the Riveter style.

 

As they walk around the camp, Rosie sets up some ground rules. Breakfast and Lunch are in the mess hall. Hundreds of badges are available. Mind the bizarre creatures at night. There’s internet if you’re willing to build the computers and get the “Rock and a Hardware” badge. Same goes for the hot tub, panini press, high tech telescope, and things that she doesn’t have the time to list. “Activities of all kinds are available here, and this camp is what you make of it. We’re here to make you have an amazing summer. Oh, and you can call it Camp Lumberjanes if it helps.”

 

Mal asks where the other part of the “we” is, and we see a woman enter Rosie’s office, revealed to be Roanoke Cabin counselor Jen (Layne). She calmly greets the new campers, guiding them to their cabin. She hopes that they all have a great time, but she has to run off and take on the astronomy workshop for the day. April seems interested, but Jen begins to ramble about constellations. As April and Ripley listen intently, the audio zones out until we hear “So then we can get a clear view of the Gemini constellation above the camp and, oh Curie, I’m running late, gotta go, sorry!!” Jen bolts off.

 

As the quintet decompresses, Ripley still looking around intently, Jo begins to look through the Lumberjanes Field Manual, seeing the pledge and also a full list of badges. Molly begins to open up a bit, feeling better about it not being one of “those camps.” Mal is confused, but Molly backtracks. “Oh, just…you know. The boring, same old same old. This looks way more interesting.” She nervously laughs.

 

April begins to check on Jo as she’s reading the guide book. They haven’t spent much time together in the school year, so it’s good that this camp will help them again. Jo agrees, remarking that she’s been going through a lot lately. Hopefully this summer should be relatively chill.

 

Cut to a montage of the first few days of camp. The five go about various activities while humorously upbeat music plays. So far, nothing is too out of the ordinary, yet. While the montage goes, we hear various Lumberjanes take turns reading the lines of the Lumberjanes Pledge. We also see Molly acquire her signature coonskin hat, but as Jo asks about it, she simply winks.

 

April notices the “Up all Night” badge page that Jo is on. It involves exploring the woods and camping overnight. Ripley seems excited to go, remembering Rosie’s remark of “Mind the creatures at night.” Mal remarks that the only issue would be if Jen does a night check of the cabin, but may have a work around for it, looking at some other cabins.

 

At a different cabin, we get a glimpse of another camper, Diane (Caruso), with long black hair and wearing a shirt with a jaguar on it. Jo kindly walks up to her, introducing herself. Diane seems relatively aloof but is willing to hear Jo out. She informs them that there is a night watch, but she can cover for them. Mal in unsure of what to do, but Molly remarks that it could be fun. They all need to stay together if they’re going to try and do this. Molly, April, Ripley, and Jo (in that order) agree to the plan, and Mal is soon convinced afterwards. She’s clearly rather scared, though.

 

At the cabin checks at night, we see Diane halfheartedly talk to Jen as she tries to prevent her from seeing the Roanoke cabin. Diane gives up kinda easily, snickering to herself, and Jen sees a note on the door: “Sorry we went to get the scary forest badge that’s not what it’s called but whatever we promise we won’t die! -Jo”

 

As the Lumberjanes walk through the woods at night, they whisper to one another as they get to know one another. After a few  fun scenes together, Molly notices that Ripley is missing. April seems like she is about to panic but keeps herself calm. Suddenly, a rustling in the nearby bushes is heard. Jo takes out a flashlight and looks through the Lumberjanes manual. She sees a page called “Little Red Formation” The rustle fades, and we see three yellow eyes appear. Several trios of eyes, in fact. More and more appearing…

 

Jo tells them to follow her lead. “Over the river, and through the woods…” Several three-eyed foxes surround them, snarling their teeth and sporting deadly fangs. Mal gets terrified, but Molly comforts her. A page is quickly passed around, and their eyes scan it. The four nod to one another, but clearly all look on in “What is happening?!” dazed expressions. Suddenly, Ripley falls from a tree above, shouting “To grandmother’s house we go!”

 

Cut to a very cartoonish, stylized fight between the Lumberjanes and the foxes. There are several comic book style effects, a bit like Scott Pilgrim. Highlights include Mal whacking a fox away with a stick to save Molly, while Ripley swings on a branch to push a few foxes into a big pile. Jo asks if there was a thing in the pledge about respecting wildlife, but April remarks that they shouldn’t overthink it.

 

Suddenly, the foxes stop attacking and surround the quintet. They howl into the sky, stardust shooting from their mouths. It formed a message…”BEWARE THE KITTEN HOLY.” April jots this down.

 

The foxes disappear into thin air, but the young women look on in surreal confusion. Jo remarks that it was pretty cool, but worries that a strange yet ominous tale is beginning. Ripley, meanwhile, imagines a cartoon kitten in an angel outfit, riding on top of her in a candy colored world. (This imagine spot is animated). While they’re all reeling, April remarks that they should probably get back. Maybe staying the full night isn’t such a good idea. Before they leave, Jo (out of sight of the others) sees an gold, eye-like relic on the ground. She puts it into her pocket.

 

The five-sneak back into their cabin, the lights all off. Thinking that they are all clear, Jen flashes on the lights, furious with the five. In a static shot, they all pause, soon speaking over each other in unison and trying to explain themselves. Jen is simply more baffled – and running out of patience. “Magic foxes?” She asks. The five nod in unison. Jen simply remarks, flatly, “We’re seeing the scoutmaster.”

 

As they walk single file across the camp (Shot a la Wes Anderson), Jen laments to herself that she nearly got that NASA Internship. Instead, she has the ONE cabin of campers that may be obsessed with putting themselves in unspeakable danger. They soon arrive as Rosie’s office, where she quickly sees “Jane” (much to Jen’s annoyance at her consistently forgetting her name). Rosie seems chill at first as Jen lightly panics, but soon realizes the girls were out in the woods. Pausing, she asks for an explanation for breaking (Jen counts for Rosie) seven (Jo corrects her as 8 ) camp policies.

 

After a dramatic moment of tension, the five begin to ramble off explanations, but as April begins to mention the three eyed foxes, Rosie lightens up again, much to Jen’s confusion. Rosie wants to hear their explanation, but Ripley badly needs to use the restroom. As the others explain, Ripley notices a mysterious blue crystal hidden by a roll of toilet paper. Before she can observe carefully, she gets excited upon the others recounting the fight, and she jumps out of the bathroom and joins in.

 

Rosie smiles, soon giving the girls a message. “You’re gonna see some stuff this summer. Stuff you might not understand. It’ll be hard. But you’re scouts, and you’re made of tougher stuff. So remember that pledge you took, and stick together no matter what. You hear me?” The five scouts repeat the pledge, and it ends with them all receiving the Up All Night badge. Both look to each other as they smile, feeling that this is going to be an incredible summer.

 

The next morning, several lumberjanes are going canoeing. The five continue to bond a bit, but Mal begins to act strange due to her massive fear of drowning. Diane sees the others, but decides to go with some other campers. Jen, on edge after last night, tells the main five to do exactly what she says, almost humorously exasperated. Ripley asks if there will be any whales, and Jen denies it to her disappointment. Mal softly asks if there are sharks, but Jen also confirms there aren’t. Mal and Ripley sigh in relief and disappointment respectively.

 

Molly goes in a canoe with Mal to help comfort her, while April helps to show them that there’s nothing to fear in the water, making a ton of water-based puns. Jen begrudgingly notes that she needs her Pungeon Master badge. Jo remarks that she must have missed that badge.

 

As the canoes take off, the five feel a bit more at ease, Mal relaxing a bit and almost easing up. Jo, however, wonders about last night still. Surely that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Molly, fittingly, notices that Jen is not with them. Ripley looks forward with excitement, which Molly reads as a bad sign. They look forward and see a slew of rapids. “This is only the tip of the iceberg, I guarantee it. Probably a sea monster will pop out of the rapids next.” Indeed, that’s exactly what happens.

 

In a bit of a stylized, Harryhausen-esque monster effect, the Lumberjanes desperately try to paddle away. The canoe glides along the monster’s long body in almost Buster Keaton-esque motion. As the rapids crash and collide, Mal falls overboard. The lumberjanes ride it out, but after April delivers a badass kick to the monster, inspired by an idea from Jo, they make it to safety at a nearby shore.

 

Molly finds an unconscious Mal in the water, panicking. Jo tells her to give CPR, but she struggles with it. Either way, she’s desperate to save her friend. As it doesn’t work for a second time, Ripley quickly pounces on her stomach and water shoots out. Mal look on at Ripley in slight annoyance and pain, but…thanks her for saving her life. Ripley off handedly remarks that it was truly Molly. She shrugs. As Mal smiles at Molly…she sees something in the distance….an entrance to a cave of some sort.

 

Molly is hesitant to go in, but Jo remarks that with it starting to rain slightly, it’ll at least provide shelter. Both slide down the cave in a stylized shot showing the five tumble down a maze like pattern. Surrounded by creepy statues of Greek gods and ominous glowing crystals…they all agree in unison that this was a bad idea.

 

April leads the Lumberjanes in moving forward, but also wonders who put everything there. Ripley imagines that it was the kitten holy (another imagine spot coming) but Jo doubts it (her voice coming out of a cartoon narwhal underneath the kitten and Ripley, floating the sky) and Ripley returns to normal.

 

As they keep moving, they pass by a suspiciously tiled room. Molly accidentally steps on one tile that collapses…and arrows begin to fly out at the Lumberjanes. As the others quickly run through the room, April, Mal, and Jo glare at Molly for a humorous moment. Molly leans back sheepishly…against a statue of a Greek god with a bird’s head. It begins to attack the terrified Lumberjanes (in a stylized manner again). Ripley attempts to jump at it as a cannonball (The Ripley Fastball Special) but the monster swats her away.

 

April jumps at the statue and tries to engage in…an arm-wrestling contest? As April puts up a surprising fight, utilizing mathematical leverage based on some ideas from Jo, she holds on tight. As the others escape with her distraction, April smashes his arm clean off (he’s a statue so it’s still PG!) and bolts away.

 

As they arrive at what looks like their closest way to the exit, Molly seems downtrodden, but is willing to keep moving. Molly begins to panic slightly as she sees a bruise on Mal’s arm. Despite Mal insisting its fine, Molly jumps to the conclusion that her actions caused this, and she commands the rest to leave so she can get medical care. Mal can tell that she feels guilty about causing the trap, relaxing her. She gives Molly an MP3 player full of calming music that she uses. (It’s all heavy metal, but it still works for Molly!) They lightly smile at one another.

 

The film jumps to a cartoony slide show as Ripley gives a crudely drawn overview of the puzzles that they would continue to face in the cave, from a stone jumping challenge using Fibonacci sequences, a series of tiles that resembled a sudoku puzzle, and more. Ripley’s explanation is hilariously brief and vague, remarking that Jo is the smart one. This part was so boring to her, so she insisted that they fast forward through it.

 

Back to normal, the five find themselves in a large, cylindrical room full of weird texts on the wall, and Molly suspects that it’s an anagram. Ripley asks if that’s a breed of cat…but it gives Molly an idea. Asking to see April’s notebook, she remembers a message from before: “BEWARE THE KITTEN HOLY.” April is annoyed at her taking the notebook. Jo takes it back, but before April can be delighted, she investigates too, ripping up a page, even. She completes the anagram on the walls: “IN THE TOWER BY THE LAKE.”

 

Suddenly, a wall in the ceiling magically opens up, and a ladder falls through. April asks if there was a tower by the lake, but Mal remembers seeing one. “It was just…”

 

“…THERE. THERE YOU ARE!! I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL JETTIN’ DAY!”

 

Jen’s voice calls from above. She looks at the five with cartoonish fury as they arrive, but also is close to losing it. She cartoonishly hugs them all and bawls her eyes out. Rambling, she says, “WHERE THE PHILLIS WHEATLEY WERE YOU I THOUGHT YOU TWERPS DIED I LOVE YOU ALL BUT SCARE MY LIKE THAT AGAIN AND I WILL MAKE YOU ACTUALLY DECEASED DON’T SCARE ME I ADORE YOU ALL. NOW GO TO BED!!!” They are overjoyed to see each other again, while April suspects that they’re so getting punished tomorrow.

 

As the five walk away, Jen collapses into the ground. Rosie appears behind her.

 

Rosie: We almost had to call the police. You gonna tell ‘em they’re on moose stable duty for the rest of the week?

Jen: I’ll do it in the morning. I need to…. decompress.

Rosie: Welp, they got the Naval Guaging and Everything Under the Sum badges. I’ll leave those with you, Jess.

Jen: No one else leave me. Please….and it’s still Jen.

 

The next morning, we get some glimpses of the five bonding while cleaning out the moose stable. April tells Jo that they need to spend more time together in school, remarking that they used to hang out a lot more than they once did. April had been so involved with extra curriculars and trying to improve her college apps, feeling kinda guilty about having less time for friends. Mal easily forgives her, making a pact to be there for one another as summer ends.

 

Mal and Molly also begin speak to each other, a bit flirtatiously almost, but Molly shuts it down. “I don’t want my parents to…I just…we have to keep cleaning.” Ripley complains to the others that while they were building their relationships, she did all the work. They look to each other sheepishly. “I’m kidding! I barely did anything!”

 

Some time later, the Lumberjanes are hiking with Jen once again. Jo subtly asks to head toward the tower, and Jen reluctantly obliges after Jo gives a puppy-eyes routine. Their excitement is shortstepped when they trip into a patch of poison ivy. Diane suddenly appears to them, and she tries to hear what’s happening. Ripley talks about the poison ivy on the trip to the tower, and Diane’s eyes widen. She runs off to go get help.

 

Shortly after she runs off, a group of boy scouts from a nearby troop, led by counselor Ned (Slater) organizes the boys in an over the top formation to save them. He introduces the crew as the Scouting Lads. Jen remarks that she loves how kind and obedient the kids are. “I mean, thanks for the help! We truly are grateful.” Ned offers to guide them back to the camp. Mal notices that they pass the tower, but Jo tells them to keep moving. She also notices her “eye” acting up, but she makes nothing of it.

 

They arrive at the Scouting Lads lodge, where they are promptly treated for their poison ivy injuries and given tea and croissants. The lads and lumberjanes begin to talk a bit, while Ned keeps a positive presence over the campers. April remarks that they should stay here for a bit. Who needs that silly old tower anyway?

 

Suddenly, almost by clockwork, the Scouting Lads Campmaster (Bautista) barges in. He’s disgusted with the unmanly behavior of the boys, as well as the presence of “cootie carriers” at the camp. Jen rolls her eyes. As the SLC berates a child for making cookies, April stands up to him, remarking that they’re very good. “Well of course you think so, you’re a – “ April gives a hilariously terrifying glare at him. “Okay. I’m gonna go wrestle a bear.” As he steps out, Ripley compliments the young baker and his cookies.

 

Jen sits down, remarking that some men can be very  - the five Lumberjanes suddenly ask to go to the bathroom in unison, realizing that there’s a chance to sneak into the tower. One boy helps to give Jen a spa treatment, causing Jen to relax and let herself be distracted. As the Lumberjanes approach the tower, Molly wonders what kind of mythical threat will face them. “Werewolves? Aliens? Distant Relatives at Thanksgiving? Okay, here we go, and….it’s yetis.”

 

We see a small group of Yetis, bickering with each other (grunts translated to English) about how weird humans are. Suddenly, the five appear in loose formation, confusing the yetis once again. “Case in point,” one mutters in its yeti tongue. “Wait,” one yeti says. “Are those cookies?” Ripley smiles.

 

Smash cut to the yetis happily munching on chocolate chip cookies as the five enter the tower. “You couldn’t save a few for us?” Mal asks. Ripley jokes that she gave them all oatmeal raisin cookies, saving chocolate chip for themselves. One yeti remarks that they’re even better than chocolate chip. Mal remarks that “they are really not normal.” Through a stylized side-shot, the five climb the spiral stairs of the lighthouse-like tower, where the five see a golden glow, their eyes widening.

 

It’s a golden bow and arrow.

 

Jo hastily places a note down about borrowing it and promising to return it ASAP, “XOXO The Lumberjanes” However, Mal is unsure if they should take it, as it might be booby trapped. April remarks that she trusts Jo completely. They knew each other since they wore diapers, and she wouldn't lie to them like this. As she rattles off potential traps, April simply takes it. Nothing happens. April remarks that this is super cool, but they should probably head back to Jen before she flips out again.

 

Jen, however, is completely tranquil. She’s loving the spa, getting a full facial. Ned begins to asks if she’s enjoying her spa, making joking comments about how talented the kids are. Even after taking off the cucumbers on her eyes, she shows no panic at the kids being gone. Suddenly, Ned has a horrible migraine, shouting in pain. He crouches down for a moment, and Jen is jolted awake. “Great. How can this get worse?” Ned suddenly turns around with blood red eyes. “Seize her.”

 

Jen starts to sweat as several of the boy scouts glare at her with the same, almost satanic eyes. Just as they are about to pounce at her, she manages to fight some of them off, shooting cucumbers at them like throwing stars while tripping them with splotches of facial cream. “It’s not hurting children if it’s in self defense, right?,” she asks herself. As she continues to bolt out of harm’s away, she suddenly finds the Lumberjanes. “RUN FOR YOUR JETTIN’ LIVES!”

 

The six dash through the forest against the now almost-feral boy scouts, mimicking the chaotic energy of a Scooby-Doo chase. However, they find a long, rickety bridge to get home. Looking at the bow, Molly gets an idea. The six run across, tailed by the boy scouts and Ned. Molly shoots the bridge rope once they cross, scoring a direct hit. The bridge collapses, and Ned falls down in the ravine below. However, he’s okay, asking the other campers to get him his “Pride Before the Fall” badge.

 

Regrouping, Jen remarks to the others that maybe there is some weird stuff going on. “By the bodaciousness of Boudicca, I won’t get you in trouble until we find out what’s going on here.” They smile at one another, while Ripley remarks that she’s now the best counselor ever.

 

The boy scouts are passed out on the other side of the bridge, some with cucumber slices all over them. Ned desperately manages to get back to the top of the cliff, but soon winces in horror upon seeing a certain shadow. The SLC begins to speak: “Very disappointing. You’ve failed me, lads. But next time, we’ll be prepared.”

 

Cut to the woods in the dead of night. A few leaves are crunched, and we soon see footsteps quickly. Jo is dashing through the forest, hearing her friends call out for her. Jo desperately tries to find them, seeing her golden eye flash more than normal. Lifting it to her own eyes, she sees the backs of her friends. Jo places her hand on April’s back, and it turns around completely, just like an owl (her body doesn’t even turn.) “There you are, Jo,” she says in a distorted voice. The other three lumberjanes and Jen turn to face them, all with the same evil eyes of the boy scouts, and they all say, in unison, “We’ve been waiting for you.”

 

Jo suddenly wakes up. It was just a dream, thankfully. Her golden eye is glowing, but before she can investigate, she has to promptly hide it as Mal comes to check on him. “Was it the killer chimp dream? April told me about that one,” Jo mutters that of course April told everyone. She appreciates the check in, but needs to go for a walk to clear her head. April lightly wakes up, but only sees Jo as she exits and closes the door. However, she does notice the flyer for the robotics program she dropped.

 

In the woods, the eye continues to act up and go wild, and Jo tries to hide it, even as she hears ominous noises all over the woods. Jo walks past the main lodge, and she overhears Rosie and Jen having a conversation. Jen is concerned about the mythical threats I the woods, but Rosie, almost knowing what’s going on, remarks that Jen is underestimating the girls. Either way, she asks Jen to come up with an activity after learning about a gravitational field emergency her cousin got into. Jen soon realizes that she needs to come up with an activity. Something fun, friendship-incubating, creative, educational, and 100% unlikely to get anyone killed. Like…

 

…making friendship bracelets! Smash cut to the next morning where Jen enthusiastically gives the unexcited campers all the tools they need to make these bracelets. The five lumberjanes sit together, Jo still on edge from last night, but tries to play cool. Ripley makes bracelets for everyone in what seems like a few seconds, much to the confusion of everyone else. Diane, however, asks if she can join the five. In particular, she begins to hit up Jo, asking her some suspiciously friendly questions, breaking the ice in a subtly discomforting manner. Jo remarks that she may need to go to the bathroom soon, but Jen rapidly barks that she needs a buddy not from their cabin. Diane smiles.

 

As they walk into the woods, Diane begins to ask Jo about the monsters they had seen on their stay so far. Jo tries to act coy about it, denying everything. As Jo stumbles in her speaking, Diane gets a glimpse of the golden eye, and her face takes on a whole new expression. They arrive at the bathroom stall, which is out of order. Diane remarks that she may know what’s going on. She kicks the door open, and amidst the darkness, a few reptilian eyes are seen.

 

Jo: Velociraptors. Of course.

Diane: Very observant. Now run.

 

Jen is helping some of the younger kids make friendship bracelets, but they are quickly interrupted by screams in terror. Jen looks around and sees kids running away from a pack of multi-color (and feathered!) velociraptors. “I can’t get a break for a single day. Ugh. Now. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!” Jen shouts. (One camper shouts, “Yeah, duh!”) as chaos spreads. April leads the others out, but Ripley’s eyes widen. She looks at the dinosaurs in a cartoonish, rainbow-like way, becoming completely ecstatic as she has another animated imagine spot. Ripley finds one Dinosaur and begins to stroke its feathers, her mouth joyously agape.

 

In the mass hall, a few other raptors have broken in. April and Mal are hiding under a table, April remarking that at this point, she should just roll with whatever the Frances happens at this camp. Mal dashes into the kitchen, throwing a frying pan like a boomerang across the mess hall, hitting just about every dinosaur. April is confused how that’s even physically possible. Mal remarks that she has no idea, but it looks awesome so who cares! “Wait a second…where’s Molly?!”

 

Molly is stranded on a roof with some other campers, the ground surrounded by raptors. However, they don’t necessarily seem to be after them specifically. Molly suddenly gets an idea, seeing Jo and Diane running from a pack of raptors. She takes off her coonskin hat….revealing it to be a real raccoon. “Okay buddy, find Jo and Diane and make sure they’re safe! And bring them the bow and arrow in my cabin!” The raccoon nods and bolts off, while the other campers just stare at Molly. “What? I would never wear *real* fur.” Molly remarks to herself that she’s never been this awesome, squeeing quietly.

 

Jo and Diane continue to run, but the raccoon catches up to them, jumping across the backs of the raptors. As some of them try to bite it, they end up tripping each other. The raccoon chirps at the two and bolts off in another direction. Diane asks Jo what that was, and Jo simply responds that it was his friend’s hat. Speaking of, it arrives back to Jo, the golden bow and arrow on its back. April asks where she got that, feeling extremely shocked. “Long story. One I’ll tell once I save us both!”

 

Jo begins to shoot at the raptors, who disintegrate when shot with an arrow. Looking at her space, Jo tries to conserve as many arrows as possible, chaining to get the best shots. Some of the raptors, however, begin to turn around. Jo and Diane look on in confusion. We soon see that Ripley is riding on the back of one raptor, corralling the others and putting them all in a giant trap made from the friendship bracelet material. The entire camp cheers as the dinosaurs are captured, and Diane smiles at Jo briefly.

 

However, the dinosaurs rip the bracelet trap and escape. They all begin to move towards Jo, of all campers. Jen quickly intervenes, angrily shouting at them to get away. She quickly loses confidence, admitting that she hoped adrenaline would have taken over by now. However, one of the final arrows flies through the air and disintegrates all of the dinosaurs in one fell swoop. The whole camp sighs in relief, while a few campers faint. Jen remarks that at this point, they should just go inside and make microwave smores and learn more about solar eclipses.

 

As the final raptor disintegrates, Diane notices a pattern on its chest…the same shape as the eye Jo has. As it fades, another copy of the golden eye drops to the ground. No one looking around, she smiles and collects it.

 

A few days pass, and through a darkly comical montage, more and more monsters begin to attack the camp. The five lumberjanes struggle to fight back, resorting to increasingly desperate measures, from homemade catapults to boring them to death with long, dramatic monologues. However, they seem to target Jo in particular. Diane, however, is readily able to save them. Either way, morale at the camp soon reaches a low point. Meanwhile, however, at the Scouting Lads camp, the Campmaster has his lads working in an almost draconian rule, engaging in manly things at all times. He hurls mud at one boy making a bag of tea. As he relaxes, Ned comes up to him.

 

Ned: Uh....scoutmaster? I found out that there's been quite a bit of chaos at the camp.

SLC: Ugh, don't tell me. She's making a huge mess, isn't she?

Ned: I guess? But I guess it seems kinda weird how - 

 

The SLC abruptly gets Ned into a chokehold. "Don't question these events, boy. You're all just pawns to me. I have to win this any way I can. Stay under our control, and once she slips, I'll be sure we know where to find her. And then we all pitch in to claim my - I mean, our prize." Ned nods nervously, remarking that it's far easier to be unquestioning.

 

Jo confronts Diane, realizing that she knows more about this than she’s letting on. Diane admits it, offering to reveal the truth if she does a favor for her that night. At dinner, the other four Lumberjanes see that Jo is acting different than normal. They try to help her out, but she doesn’t say anything. Once she does open up, she tells the others that she may need some help from them.

 

That night, Rosie is in her lodge, lamenting how she had to send several kids home due to the fear and panic caused by the increased monster activity. She goes into the bathroom, checking on the blue crystal. “I have to find a way to deal with you. I know someone who may be able to help, so hang tight, little guy.” She puts it on her desk.  Zooming out through the window, we see the five Lumberjanes, plus Jen and Diane, making a scheme to break in and steal it.

 

Jen: I can’t believe we’re doing this. This better seriously keep the monsters at bay and save our camp.

Diane: I promise. It will.

Molly: You’re establishing a weird amount of authority on this.

Diane: Do you want to live or not?

 

Diane’s scheme soon goes into action. Jen, Molly and Mal make animal noises in the bushes, inadvertently recreating mating calls. Rosie steps outside to notice, while April begins to cry out, feigning about how she broke her leg from…a splinter. Rosie, suspicious at first, soon admits that splinters can be mighty deadly. She goes to help treat her. Suddenly, Ripley is lowered on a rope, Mission: Impossible style, onto Rosie’s desk, hoping to grab the crystal. Jo and Diane manage to hold the rope tightly, even as it slips a bit. Diane promises she will explain everything once they have this.

 

Rosie tells April that they should head into her office for treatment, but April jokingly struggles to walk. Rosie promptly hoists her up, carrying her inside. Ripley grabs the crystal and is lifted up. The three run through the wooden support bars and out an entry on the woof. Their exit makes a loud thudding sound, which causes April to jump out of her arms and land on her feet. Rosie suddenly sees that she isn’t injured at all. Sheepishly smiling, April quickly runs away. The seven run off quickly into the woods, while Rosie looks at them with fury. “Wait…I doubt they stole anything important. I should really relax.”

 

The five lumberjanes, Jen, and Diane celebrate the successful heist, although Diane is annoyed by the obsessive and cheeky display of friendship. Jo quickly prompts Diane that she owes them answers after potentially getting them….they look to Jen. “Permanently expelled,” she remarks. “Permanently expelled from the camp!” April shouts at Diane. Jen also remarks that she’s likely getting fired.

 

Diane: Very well, but first, a question for you.

*She pulls out Jo’s golden eye.*

Diane: Where did you find this? And did any of you know?

*The others are silent.*

Jo: I don’t even know what that thing is.

Diane: Well let me tell you. It’s the very thing that’s been causing your camp to become plagued by danger. No mortal is supposed to have a hold of this.

Jo: Oh god, no.

Diane: Gods. Plural. But it doesn’t matter. You caused the camp to fall into disarray because of your own pathetic curiosity.

Jo: Please, I didn’t mean for this to happen. Please help me undo this! Help me, everyone! I’ll give back the eye, the bow, everything.

Diane: I was irked about the bow, but that was just my own thing. I can take that back easily.

 

April asks Jo why she didn’t tell them about this.  Jo gets defensive, but April remarks that she’s a little angry.

 

April: Friends don’t keep secrets like this. First the robotics program, than this? What happened?

Jo: Robotics program? How did you know?

Diane: Let me guess, she got into a dream program and gave it up to spend time with you needy, pathetic losers?

Jo: Absolutely not!

April: Why didn't you tell me you got in? I would have supported you! We all would!

Diane: She's only here because she takes pity on you and knows that you need her more than she needs you.

April: Don't you dare say that. You're bluffing! Jo...Jo. Don't worry. We'll talk about this later. I'm not mad. We're...we're going to fix this. Together. In the end, it will just seem like a wild misadventure.

 

Diane asks why Jo came to be friends with these girls. “You’re just as strong, intelligent, and cool as all of them, perhaps combined, and you know that April basically ditched you at school. Different dreams, some say, but we both know how capable you are.” Diane begins to manipulate Jo, putting down her friends and remarking how none of them would have the audacity to pull this off. The meanwhile, a dark aura surrounds them, Diane’s eyes and hands omitting a dark purple glow. April begins to cry, but Jo slowly comes over more and more stress.

 

April tries to calm her down, and her friends come in for a hug, but Jo slowly feels more and more unsteady. “Leave me alone, please!” A blast of energy comes from Jo’s golden eye, pushing the others on the ground. Diane remarks, “Like she said. She doesn’t need you. But I will explain everything else. To her. She’ll maybe tell all of you if she wants if you’re lucky. For now, we have business to attend to.” Diane grabs Jo’s arm, along with the crystal and bow & arrow, walking out into the woods. “Follow us, and you die,” Diane remarks.

 

The remaining five struggle to get up, April feeling guilty, worrying that she isolated Jo from the others. Mal promises that it wasn’t the case, and Molly and Ripley similarly comfort her, along with Molly’s hat raccoon. Jen promises that she knows that she said they wouldn’t get in trouble. But now…it goes beyond that. She’s a counselor through and through. They need to get to the bottom of Diane’s plans and save Jo.

 

Deeper into the woods, Diane grabs the blue crystal and puts her golden eye inside. The crystal begins to shake, and a deer made of golden crystals comes to life. Diane is lightly amused, but Jo still feels some despair. “Follow me, Artemis,” the deer says. “And you follow me,” Diane tells Jo. As they rush after the deer, prancing through the woods, Jo realizes her name is Artemis. It’s soon revealed that her father gave her and her twin brother a proposition, giving one of them a chance to take control of the universe once their father is gone. She had to thus beat Apollo in –

 

Wait. Apollo. Artemis. “You’re….you’re a Greek goddess?!” Jo asks. Diane/Artemis nods lightly, remarking that she’s seen all the movies about them. A sure sign they’re coming back into the forefront. “Anyways, we have a challenge to complete on our birthday, and the winner gets all the cosmic power. You think I’m bad? Just imagine giving Apollo the power.” Diane remarks that he’s also disguised as a mortal. "Harsh as I’ve been, the world is a heckuva lot safer with me in charge. We have to keep moving.”

 

As they run off, they pass by the Scouting Lads camp. One scouting lad gets a whiff of them and lets out an elaborate call. Posing in the mirror with his muscles, the SLC gets the call ready. "Ned, prepare the boys. We know how we're gonna get this prize," Ned quickly obliges. As he runs away, we see a swishing sound around the camera, as the SLC transforms into a younger man, (Lendenborg Jr.) "I'm gonna get the prize, indeed."

 

They soon arrive at the same cave the Lumberjanes were at in the first third of the film. Jo is nudged to help April repeat the puzzles, which she does. They eventually arrive at the final room from earlier, which now has a bronze pillar at the center, containing a slot to put something inside. The exact space of the crystal. “You’ve been a great help Jo. I’ll share the power with you even. Even your “friends”. They don’t seem too bad honestly. Just put the gem inside, and it should help us see how to win.” Hesitating, Jo remembers the times she spent with the rest of the Lumberjanes.

 

“Are you sure this will keep them safe?” Diane promises. Jo sighs, getting ready to put the crystal inside. She does so…but it emits a mysterious energy that shrouds blue light over the room. Diane smiles, beginning to laugh. Jo smiles too, but finds her arms slowly turning to stone. “That was just what I needed. Thanks, girlfriend,” Diane remarks, as Jo fully turns to stone. Diane smiles, but soon hears a cry of “NOOO!!!!!” from the distance. A familiar one, in fact.

 

Jo suddenly wakes up in a new dream. She’s surrounded by fog and darkness, faintly hearing her friends sobbing and calling out her name. Slowly, the camera fades out on her and fades to pure white. Cut to Jen, Molly, Mal, Ripley, and April looking at Jo in despair, all while Diane watches coldly. April pounces on Diane, ready to strike at her. Diane disappears in a poof of dust, reappearing behind April and grabbing her by the shirt. “Relax. She’s not dead. In fact, when she wakes up, she can give you the whole info dump I just gave her. Meanwhile, I require your assistance once again.”

 

They look up, seeing the room turn into a planetarium-like star chart. “Help me make sense of this, and I’ll turn your precious friend back.” April resists, but Molly realizes that Jen is a star astronomer. Literally and figuratively. Jen looks closely, realizing that she has to save Jo any way she can. Looking closely, we see her observe the constellation map above. “This is kinda cool.,…and awesome. No. Stay focused. You have a task here. Wait, what’s that….” April soon realizes that the total solar eclipse is coming up…. tomorrow. The others are shocked, except Jen. She realizes that she mentioned it repeatedly in her astronomy lessons. “This shouldn’t be a surprise, people.” She just needs to find out where the ceremony will happen now. Deducing the constellations, she identifies the twins, Gemini. The mapping points to the lighthouse at the camp! After Jen’s adorkable sense of accomplishment, cheered on by the others, she commands Diane to turn her back.

 

Diane begins to laugh wickedly, remarking how victory is mine. She awkwardly realizes that a deal is a deal, though. As she looks to Jo, a few others suddenly appear from outside. The gang is surrounded by the Scouting Lads and their campmaster, who is now in the form of Apollo. Apollo and Diane/Artemis confront each other, accusing the other of cheating, and that only one will get to have complete cosmic domination. Their fighting turns into complete bickering, complete with a slap fight. As they quickly take things outside, April shouts at her for leaving them behind. Either way…. they’ve got a bunch of kids to fight.

 

The Lumberjanes, Jo still frozen, prepare to defend themselves against the Scouting Lads. April manages to knock out a few on her own, while Mal and Molly double team, using the same heavy metal music to disorient the boys and scare them with the loud music. The raccoon even trips them. Molly and Mal smile at one another, “Is now a bad time to say that I like girls?,” Molly asks? Mal tells her that they can kiss once this scramble is over.

 

“Wait…scramble!” April sees the words on the wall, and that the anagram is still there. It may have a clue on how to save Jo and get everyone out of there. Quickly solving it, Molly deduces it:

 

“Your friends will be their for you.”

 

The room suddenly freezes, except for the four Lumberjanes and Jen. They look to one another, putting their hands on the stonified crystal.

 

“Friendship to the max!!”

 

A giant glow surrounds the room and pushes the boy scouts back. Jo….is miraculously reawakened! After a tearful hug and reunion, mutual apologies and rebonding aplenty, Jen abruptly asks for an update.

 

ONE EXPOSITION BACKLOAD LATER

 

“Greek gods, seriously! It’s like every story is about that nowadays! It’s so boring by comparison,” Ripley complains. Either way, they have a lot to deal with. The fate of the universe is at stake. April asks how they’re supposed to stop them when they know everything about the ceremony. Jen also knows, however, that Diane skipped astronomy class a lot.

 

Cut to Artemis/Diane and Apollo fighting outside, where they teleport around the world, in increasingly random locations, from the Eiffel Tower to Mt. Everest to a random child’s birthday, getting into a cartoonishly funny fight while transforming into various things. Each one thinks the other was cheating, wanting the power to themselves. Seeing the sun start to rise, and humorously recollecting the timing, they realize they need to get to the lighthouse. They both agree to compromise and split the universe.

 

Above them, a giant purple rift appears from the sky, terrifying the remaining campers. Artemis and Apollo defiantly walk past everyone, using their godly powers to push others away. They also command the Scouting Lads to restraint everyone. Ned even manages to get a hold of Jen. He tries to flirt with her, but she knees him. The five Lumberjanes prepare to fight back against the two gods, prompting them for an epic battle.

 

The gods get their powers ready in an over the top fashion, while the Lumberjanes wink to each other. They seemingly go down very easily as the gods strike down, but do a good enough job of acting (Molly plugs the Total Drama Lumberjane badge) that they seem like they actually tried to defeat her. The two gods head toward the lighthouse but notice that Ripley and Mal have wandered off. Apollo also notices that the rift appears behind them, not at the lighthouse!

 

Artemis: Argh! You lied to us, you fiendish mortal!

Jen: I’ve said repeatedly that the Gemini constellation is right over the camp. You would have known that if you actually attended my classes. Now watch as Ripley and Mal get their Space Cadet badges.

 

The rift soon appears right over the center of the camp, and Mal is holding Ripley. They wink to each other.

 

“RIPLEY. FASTBALL. SPECIAL!!!” With a boost from Mal, Ripley jumps into the air, approaching the rift, where a giant blast of lightning appears and strikes Ripley. The two godly twins shout an epic “NO!” as Ripley begins to levitate, rainbow colors surrounding her. “Holy Jett. Did she just become an ancient god!?!” Rosie asks, appearing out of nowhere.

 

Artemis: I thought only immortals could wield the power!! And was getting struck by lightning the full challenge!?!

 

Ripley’s eyes widen. She wishes for….Molly’s racoon to have a funny hat, that ice cream was actually good for you, and that….Artemis and Apollo could never hurt anyone again. And above all else….that this power was gone forever….butfirstiwanteveryonetohaveakitte-“

 

Just before Ripley’s final wish is complete, power swirls Ripley and brings her back down, all while the skies return the normal. The campers cheer as things return to normal, and the Lumberjanes celebrate an epic group hug. They notice the raccoon’s funny hat, Molly deciding to name him Bubbles, while everyone now has their own kite. “Close enough,” Ripley states. However, Apollo and Artemis furiously march towards Ripley, though Rosie lifts both up quite readily. “Not so fast you two. I just found out I had the phone number of Zeus. Which makes sense, given the necessary action of calling your parents.” Apollo and Artemis look to each other in horror.

 

A talking Bull in a necktie suddenly appears, “Hey kids, it’s me, Dad!” Zeus appears in a cameo appearance from director Matt Reeves) “You both failed, and I’m very disappointed! I’m taking you both home!” As they ride on the bull through the woods, both Apollo and Artemis are completely embarrassed. “Just wait until mom hears about this. She’ll be very upset!” (The whole time, he sounds very chipper.)

 

As things calm down, the five look to each other, smiling. They agree that this has been the best summer ever. Jen remarks that it’s only a week in. They get to spend the whole summer at the camp. Looking at each other, they begin to laugh. Molly brings everyone in for a selfie together, where Mal leans in to kiss her. They both blush at one another after the photo is taken. Jo then talks to April, remarking that she turned down the robotics program because she wanted to spend more time with her, and that she can even get a fine robotics badge here. "It's fun, but...I would have been alone all summer." April doesn't want Jo to cast aside her dreams just to be with her friends, but Jo promises that this camp had more excitement in one week then that would have had all summer. She absolutely made the right choice. April chuckles, warning Jo that she's gonna make her cry.

 

Rosie then tells them that they’re incredibly proud of their actions, even though they broke a Ginsburgian number of rules. And Jen could be fired for theft. “I know, and I….wait. You remembered my name!!!” Jen jumps up and down, hugging Rosie. “Does this mean I’m not fired!”

 

As the camera zooms out, the whole crew heading inside, a mysterious woman narrates from afar. “These young women have proven that there’s a lot of adventure in this camp, but between you and me, they haven’t even scratched the surface of how weird things get. They’ll find out soon enough…but I suppose that’s enough for now.”  The camera then pans to the woman (House) narrating at an overlook above the camp, kites now flying through the air. She winks at the audience and suddenly turns into a bear. She dashes away, and the camera cuts to black.

 

The scrolling credits play over a flurry of different badges and sketches of CGI character designs. It is set to the song below:

 

 

 

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