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CAYOM Y6 - Official Discussion Thread

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@Spaghetti Thank you man! I should say that the your other pre-read for In the Aeroplane over the Sea, as well as @Rorschach's pre-read Pikmin, will be the next two plot summaries that I will work on and finish. I will probably tackle Pikmin first because Aeroplane is going to require a dedicated amount of research on my part, which I should wait to attempt until after my summer class concludes next weekend. Thanks to both you and Rorschach for your patience!

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you guys really needed to make a spark iv spoiler thread like... as soon as it was posted lmao

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Spoiler

 

 

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I knew not to trust that pervy kid from Eighth Grade...

 

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Evil Pena rn:

 

 

 

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Note to self: When reading a @Slambros film, don't trust anyone who calls themselves an ally.

 

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All done. @Slambros

 

Want a full feedback review or just potential notes to improve? (Either via PM or here)

 

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Here's just some general feedback to start off.

 

Spoiler

 

So overall, I enjoyed it and think it's a good start for the movie!

 

There's a fun an inventive premise here, as well a unique spin on Dia De Los Muertos. Felix makes for a fun and empathetic hero to follow, and his plight has decent stakes. However, I do have a few points I would improve on:

  • I think Rita could either use a bit more development....or be eschewed from the movie altogether. While she does provide some decently emotional bits, she jumps in too quickly to resolve what would have been an interesting conflict, while not doing too much else otherwise. I would prefer the former than cutting her out, since I do think there's potential in her character if it's fleshed out a bit more, especially to give the ending a bit more of a punch.
  • On the same wavelength, Mia kinda disappears through much of the second half. Connecting the themes of family and Dia De Los Muertos, I kinda expected her to play more of an active role, especially in her relationship with Felix.
  • Given Pena's somewhat cartoonish villainy, I would have learned a bit more into the dark comedy aspects with some emotional undercurrents. It may be a bit of an unorthodox comp, but think along the lines of Tim Burton's early works, especially something like Beetlejuice.
  • My other other criticism would be that it kinda takes a bit too long to get into the action (in my eyes, the heart of the plot kicked off over a third of the way in). I think since some of the stuff in the first act doesn't really come to full fruition, a lot can be cut there.

With these notes, I do think there's a lot of promise and fun here. Just refine it a bit more and you could have a really fun Halloween flick on your hands. :) 

 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Spaghetti said:
  Hide contents

All done. @Slambros

 

Want a full feedback review or just potential notes to improve? (Either via PM or here)

 

 

1 hour ago, Spaghetti said:

Here's just some general feedback to start off.

 

  Hide contents

 

So overall, I enjoyed it and think it's a good start for the movie!

 

There's a fun an inventive premise here, as well a unique spin on Dia De Los Muertos. Felix makes for a fun and empathetic hero to follow, and his plight has decent stakes. However, I do have a few points I would improve on:

  • I think Rita could either use a bit more development....or be eschewed from the movie altogether. While she does provide some decently emotional bits, she jumps in too quickly to resolve what would have been an interesting conflict, while not doing too much else otherwise. I would prefer the former than cutting her out, since I do think there's potential in her character if it's fleshed out a bit more, especially to give the ending a bit more of a punch.
  • On the same wavelength, Mia kinda disappears through much of the second half. Connecting the themes of family and Dia De Los Muertos, I kinda expected her to play more of an active role, especially in her relationship with Felix.
  • Given Pena's somewhat cartoonish villainy, I would have learned a bit more into the dark comedy aspects with some emotional undercurrents. It may be a bit of an unorthodox comp, but think along the lines of Tim Burton's early works, especially something like Beetlejuice.
  • My other other criticism would be that it kinda takes a bit too long to get into the action (in my eyes, the heart of the plot kicked off over a third of the way in). I think since some of the stuff in the first act doesn't really come to full fruition, a lot can be cut there.

With these notes, I do think there's a lot of promise and fun here. Just refine it a bit more and you could have a really fun Halloween flick on your hands. :) 

 

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Thanks for reading @Spaghetti! Sorry I couldn't reach you promptly because my phone died! You gave me some really good feedback and it'll definitely be taken into account! If there's anything else, you can PM me! But I'm happy to hear that it was a fun read--that's definitely what I was going for!

Edited by Slambros
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Posted (edited)

Might as well dive into Fiesta Loca as well tomorrow, as well as getting Toons which I’m aiming for a 5K-6K word count at most.

 

Kind of dreading these pseudo reviews for some of my films published pre-deadline.

Edited by YourMother the Edgelord
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Posted (edited)

So some updates about my work: I'm hoping to have the first two "chapters" of Star Fox up by next week. I'm trying to set a goal for myself of about 1,000 words a day for all my Y6 films, which should hopefully increase my productivity and get myself in the right frame of mind for writing.

 

There's also going to be a big announcement about the film itself tomorrow that thankfully isn't another delay, but is still pretty significant.

Edited by Alpha
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3 hours ago, Alpha said:

There's also going to be a big announcement about the film itself tomorrow that thankfully isn't another delay, but is still pretty significant.

PG? PG? PG?

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I am petrified by an issue I'm having with Microsoft Word, so I've posted the first ten-minutes worth of my plot summary for Pikmin into the submission thread. A surprising amount of passion is surging forward as I'm writing it, so I'm really excited to continue writing it!

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13 minutes ago, Slambros said:

I am petrified by an issue I'm having with Microsoft Word, so I've posted the first ten-minutes worth of my plot summary for Pikmin into the submission thread. A surprising amount of passion is surging forward as I'm writing it, so I'm really excited to continue writing it!

Any way you can C&P what you've written to another service like say Google Docs?

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19 minutes ago, Slambros said:

I am petrified by an issue I'm having with Microsoft Word, so I've posted the first ten-minutes worth of my plot summary for Pikmin into the submission thread. A surprising amount of passion is surging forward as I'm writing it, so I'm really excited to continue writing it!

Do you have Google email

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29 minutes ago, cookie said:

Any way you can C&P what you've written to another service like say Google Docs?

 

23 minutes ago, Reddroast said:

Do you have Google email

 

I think I've momentarily figured it out, but the issue started when I put all of the Word files I've made for CAYOM into a folder on my computer; now, I can only open the file on the actual Word application through the actual Word app. Clicking the drop-down box prompts an error message and clicking on the file through the file section of the computer sends me to a version of the file on "OpenOffice"--a second rate Word processor. I should probably be fine if I access my files through Word, but I posted my work so far on the submission threas just in case. I do have Docs and should probably make a Docs backup file for my work. Thank you for the concern!

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1 hour ago, Slambros said:

 

 

I think I've momentarily figured it out, but the issue started when I put all of the Word files I've made for CAYOM into a folder on my computer; now, I can only open the file on the actual Word application through the actual Word app. Clicking the drop-down box prompts an error message and clicking on the file through the file section of the computer sends me to a version of the file on "OpenOffice"--a second rate Word processor. I should probably be fine if I access my files through Word, but I posted my work so far on the submission threas just in case. I do have Docs and should probably make a Docs backup file for my work. Thank you for the concern!

Never use OpenOffice. It's terrible

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