Slam! Movie Reviews [Y6 Edition]

[SLAM!]

Hello again! In this CAYOM film review magazine, the CAYOM films will be reviewed monthly!

 

One film will be spotlighted each month, and all films will receive scores.

 

Here is the rating system:

 

10 - Exceptional

This score is given rarely and indicates a one of a kind cinematic experience that must be seen in theaters.

 

9 - Adept

This is a film that, by all intents and purposes, not only accomplishes what it sets out to do, but is even able to expand upon its initial vision in unique ways.

 

8 - Proficient

Fans of this film's genre will certainly have a good time, though, perhaps, a certain pizzazz was left on the cutting room floor.

 

7- Fine

A film that, while technically sound, often fails to offer any new or fresh cinematic ideas.

 

6 - Mediocre

A film which leaves many things to be desired from both its technical and storytelling aspects -- though fans would surely still resonate with a film such as this.

 

5 - Hollow

The shell of a better film which fails to hold within itself the ghost of a more efficient product.

 

4 - Poor

It is evident that certain elements of the film fail to come together to make a coherent whole.

 

3 - Unsatisfactory

The talent and workers involved in this film did not perform the jobs that were asked of them by the studios who hired them.

 

2 - Incompetent

It's not that the talent and workers didn't do their jobs. It's that they couldn't.

 

1 - Traitorous

The act of seeing or watching a film with this score ought to be considered sacrilege against the countless filmmakers in history who fought tooth and nail to ensure the prosperous cinema we have today.

 

I am looking forward to reviewing the films of Y5 as the months go by! Here's hoping I'm able to give out many high scores this year!

 

Yours Truly,

 

The Slammy Slamster

[SLAM!]

So I should say that I've been getting a head-start on reading the January plot summaries today. So I should be able to fairly quickly put out the January spotlight and reviews by the day after the deadline. I'm really excited to read all the stuff I haven't read yet (which is a sizable amount, but I'm able to say I have read more than a few stuff in advance of the review period, which'll help me get through reviews at a decent pace).

[SLAM!]

Update on reviews:

 

January reviews are coming tonight. It's third or fourth, or even fifth, in a list of tasks I'm handling before I turn in for the night. But it's coming tonight. I've read all the January films already.

 

I've read a sizable portion of Pokemon 3 so that'll get me closer to finishing February, but, realistically, don't expect February reviews until Thursday. I've read many of the films that are coming out in March I should be ready to post the March reviews Friday or Saturday.

 

My semester is as tough as nails this time around. It's really kicking me to the curb. But I have tenacity and willpower on my side, so I'm confident I'll find the time to review everything. It's time like this I'm glad I read ahead a little bit--I've read things like Spark 4 and Mario Bros and Last Policeman in advance, which is going to help me big-time.

[Ezen Baklattan]

@SLAM! is each month getting a special pick like last year?

[YM!]

I changed the ending of Mario though. As a warning @SLAM!

[SLAM!]

41 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

@SLAM! is each month getting a special pick like last year?

 

Yes

 

32 minutes ago, YourMother the Edgelord said:

I changed the ending of Mario though. As a warning @SLAM!

 

Thank you

[SLAM!]

SLAM! REVIEWS: JANUARY ISSUE SPOTLIGHT

 

Spoiler

THE POWER OF LOVE

 

dir. Doug Liman

 

For a January release, this is a refreshingly solid film. I've never really seen the superhero sub-genre be presented through the romantic-comedy lens. The film has memorable lead characters played by Constance Wu and Tom Hiddleston, and the way the film approaches their dynamic is creative and fun.

 

It's not a perfect film by any means; Doug Liman clearly wants to ensure that audiences of all kinds--fans of superheroes and fans of romance films--but in pursuit of this, he dampens the effect of each aspect, both the action aspect and romantic aspect, and accidentally caricaturizes the film to the point where it feels like a cross between Scott Pilgrim and a drama on the LifeTime channel.

 

Nevertheless, this is still a fun time at the movies despite its unwillingness to color outside the lines. It will fully deserve the legs it receives from Valentine's Day audiences.

 

[SLAM!]

January Reviews and Scores

 

Broadway Selects: The Band's Visit

There is nothing like a great broad-way show. Truly, the good folks have selected one of the best shows possible for their next Selection. There's a reason why this show is so beloved. Of course, and unfortunately, it fails to be cinematic, which is my main desire for any sort of film. 8/10

 

All Kinds of Bull

Brad Pitt can't save this film's story from its implosive sappiness. 5/10

 

Espionage Project

Everything from the title to the characters to the story-line and even the production value is hopelessly half-baked. I'll never know why so many A-listers wanted to star in this. 4/10

 

Making Waves

While it has some great surfing imagery, Making Waves ultimately fails to provide anything beyond that worth the price of admission. 6/10

 

Walking With You

A clunky third act holds back a creative post-apocalyptic film with two great turns from Ludi Lin and Kelly Marie Tran--but, rest assured, the film is worth seeing just because of those actors and what they bring to the film. 7.75/10

 

The Power of Love

This is a fun time at the movies despite its unwillingness to color outside the lines. 7/10

[Blankments]

8 minutes ago, SLAM! said:

 

Espionage Project

. I'll never know why so many A-listers wanted to star in this. 4/10

 

 

 

Check the budget 

[SLAM!]

February is definitely coming tomorrow. I have two films left to read for the February month.

[SLAM!]

SLAM! REVIEWS: FEBRUARY ISSUE SPOTLIGHT

 

Spoiler

POKEMON: THE CINNABAR CONSPIRACY
 

dir. Shawn Levy

 

The third film in Numerator's Pokemon trilogy succinctly wraps its story-lines up. Not only this, but it manages to do this in a breathless, entertaining way. The filmmakers behind the series allowed their love and understanding of Pokemon and its world to pervade the film and really speak for itself, resulting in a warm and inviting cinematic world, sometimes a dash too saccharine for the good of its believability, that audiences will want to revisit again and again, just like they do in the games.

 

Every role in the film (and by extension, the trilogy) is very well cast. The returning cast all continue to give stellar performances, while superstar Ryan Potter adds layers of charisma and depth to the once one-dimensional character of Ash Ketchum. One particular standout was Rutger Hauer in the role of Blaine; the late performer brought the film to new philisophical heights each time he was on-screen (and especially during his actions with Mewtwo). If he had more screen-time in this film, I would recommend in for an Oscar nomination.

 

One aspect of the story that I find very inspiring is the creative application of the Pokemon creatures in this film. The filmmakers apply their knowledge of the franchise through the ways they show Pokemon interacting with humans. Venusaur uses its vines in unique ways, Psyduck utilizes its pyschic powers, and so on, and so forth. And as far as blockbusters go, this one is decidedly colorful in its approach to design of the sets and the effects, at once paying homage to the adapted material and differentiating itself from the other films.

 

All in all, this film does a great job of giving fans of the Pokemon franchise what they want to see. It is an excellent film for both children and kids at heart.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Sounds like Pokemon is a winner. can't wait to check it out.

[SLAM!]

February Reviews and Scores

 

Dog Models

Dog Models is inoffensive, but it brings nothing new to the table. 4.5/10

 

VR Troopers

A children's action film with intriguingly retro directorial choices, VR Troopers isn't the most innovative film in theaters, but it manages to successfully achieve what the filmmakers set out to achieve. 7.25/10

 

Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. the Current Hollywood Landscape

Blankments Productions places their industry history on a pedestal in this satirical action comedy, and it would promptly fade into obscurity if not for its side-splittingly hilarious nature. 6.75/10

 

Down and Dirty

An informative concert film that fails to be exciting. 6/10

 

Thomas Was Alone

Something integral to what makes the source material so great is lost in translation between two separate mediums with varying degrees of interactivity. The animation, however, is exemplary in an eloquent and abstract way. 7/10

 

Meme Thief

A film that fails to provide commentary on modern society and the way internet activity permeates it. A pointless and sterile waste of time devoid of insight. 3/10

 

Pokemon: The Cinnabar Conspiracy

All in all, this film does a great job of giving fans of the Pokemon franchise what they want to see. It is an excellent film for both children and kids at heart. 9.25/10

 

Little Black Bugs

Literary in the most disgusting and repulsive sense of the world, the film manages to pay homage to classic horror films while forging a path of its own, with its unnerving practical effects and standout performance by Devon Bostick. 9/10

 

[Rorschach]

These ratings for Little Black Bugs are a pleasant surprise to me, considering I wasn't sure if the ending was gonna land with people or not.

Edited September 26, 2019 by Rorschach

[SLAM!]

SLAM! REVIEWS: MARCH ISSUE SPOTLIGHT

 

Spoiler

SPARK: A HERO'S PROMISE
 

dir. Jennifer Yuh Nelson

 

Director Jennifer Yuh Nelson returns to the Spark franchise and successfully brings, to the film, exactly what she brought with her last Spark film--a golden standard example of the spectacle-driven blockbuster. There are a few aspects to provide criticism for, but overall, this makes for a bombastic finale that boasts cutting-edge special effects and a plethora of great performances, as well as a down-to-earth mentality that ultimately plays into how the story wraps up.

 

The film franchise continues to draw audiences into its world--or its universe, rather. Its spaceships and planets and futuristic cities are truly a sight to behold.

 

Sasha Lane continues to portray the character of Alex Spark in an exciting way; not that that's a hard thing to do with material this good. The film manages to progress forward and provide depth to all of its characters, which is something awesome to see. Plus, the story is fairly complex and layered, at least as much as a science-fiction film could get without bearing down on its audience. The relationships between characters continue to be dynamic and believable as well.

 

In terms of criticisms, and I have choice but to enter the territory of nitpicking, I'd say there are times when the tone of the film diverges. It seems like Alex and company are able to move on from the events of the last film a touch too quickly. And there are other moments in the film that have a sense of tonal disconnect--some scenes are somber while others are funny, and so on, and so forth. It would not be inaccurate for a heckler to compare it to a Saturday Morning Cartoon, however layered the film is in prestigious production value. I'd compliment it by saying it's very similar to (and seems to be inspired in some capacity by) Avatar: The Last Airbender as much as it seems to be by the common comparison film Jupiter Ascending.

 

The length of the film is also something that threatens to get the better of the story at any given moment. It is a testament to the overall quality of the film that the thrilling climax manages to be as breathtaking and monumental as it does despite the length of the film. But Hourglass Productions have made a gamble, placing a tightrope between two skyscrapers that are very far away from each other, and as they try to traverse it, they almost lose balance due to the length of the tightrope. They make it without falling to their doom, which is, again, a testament to the quality of the film. But, alas, the meat of the story was not in the overlong training sequences in the first act of the film, but in the stellar character dynamics, thrilling action set-pieces, and iconically realized universe. A little tightening may have gone a long way.

 

Nevertheless, let it be reiterated that this is not only a great film, but an effective character study, a generous provider of spectacle, and a satisfying conclusion to the Spark saga. To nail down my view of the film with an apt comparison, it is to the Spark franchise what Return of the Jedi is to the original Star Wars trilogy.

 

[SLAM!]

March Reviews & Scores

 

Rapsittie Street Kids: A Bunny's Tale

This film is evil, offensive, insulting, and, frankly, anti-Christian. Do not waste your money. 1/10

 

Spark: A Hero's Promise

There are a few aspects to provide criticism for, but overall, this makes for a bombastic finale that boasts cutting-edge special effects and a plethora of great performances, as well as a down-to-earth mentality that ultimately plays into how the story wraps up. 9.5/10

 

AJR: Neotheater

An alternative music band expands their notoriety by putting out a rather creative concert film. It isn't innovate, but it is inoffensive. An acceptable choice for children and music fans alike. 7.5/10

 

The Con Gone Wrong

The documentary creatively applies its informative nature to the subject of the story, which is really all I can ask from a documentary. 8.25/10

 

Thermal

The rare spine-tingling disaster film, Thermal is a noticeable step up from In The Valley in terms of how much it cares for its human characters. It does fall into cliches, but it at least manages to apply those cliches to a specific type of  hypothetical disaster that hasn't been as represented as much as others in  cinematic history. 8.5/10

 

Irreplaceable

It's a shame that concert films aren't eligible for this magazine's Top 25 of the year, because you that Beyonce can work it. 10/10

[Ezen Baklattan]

A brilliant review with beautiful insight and fair criticism. Regarding some of the tonal disconnect between scenes, however, I dont think it's much worse than a typical film. It can be funny and silly at times, but there's usually enough of a bridge toward the more dramatic aspects.

 

That ATLA comparison made me giddy. It was a huge influence in terms of tone and storytelling. In fact, the creators of the show directed the 2.0 incarnation of this series.

 

Also @SLAM! can you rank the series installments?

Edited September 26, 2019 by Spaghetti

[SLAM!]

17 minutes ago, Spaghetti said:

A brilliant review with beautiful insight and fair criticism. Regarding some of the tonal disconnect between scenes, however, I dont think it's much worse than a typical film. It can be funny and silly at times, but there's usually enough of a bridge toward the more dramatic aspects.

 

That ATLA comparison made me giddy. It was a huge influence in terms of tone and storytelling. In fact, the creators of the show directed the 2.0 incarnation of this series.

 

Also @SLAM! can you rank the series installments?

 

Hmm... These are pretty tough to rank.

 

1) Spark: Homeward

2) Spark: A Hero's Promise

3) Spark: Rising

4) Spark: Beyond the Sky

Edited September 26, 2019 by SLAM!

[YM!]

3 minutes ago, SLAM! said:

 

Hmm...

 

1) Spark: Homeward

2) Spark: A Hero's Promise

3) Spark: Rising

4) Spark: Beyond the Sky

Which Homeward

[Ezen Baklattan]

3 minutes ago, SLAM! said:

 

Hmm... These are pretty tough to rank.

 

1) Spark: Homeward

2) Spark: A Hero's Promise

3) Spark: Rising

4) Spark: Beyond the Sky

Very interesting lineup! It's actually kinda funny that a lot of people seem to have Homeward ranked last so I'm curious what worked so well about it for you.