Spaghetti Kitchen: Watch Your Six

[YM!]

Thanks for the review. Really appreciate it.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Borrasca

  

 

Spoiler

I very VERY slightly disagree with @cookie on the first two thirds. I'm not sure if I'd call it among the best this game has scene, but goddamn if it isn't super compelling stuff. The set-up is pretty familiar if you've seen It. Several stranger mysteries are occurring around town, and they are mysteries that a group of young kids (including that one wierdo from Diary of a Wimpy Kid) must grow up and come of age surrounded by. The small town has a disturibng feel, where mine shafts hold secrets, adults aren't giving you straight answers, and the people who own half the town aren't so pure of heart.

 

Even as a drama focused on the teenagers, the film soars. It's a powerful, atmospheric piece that's just as effective in the quiet moments, from Sam's desparate search for answers and potentially closure, to Kimber's own struggles in growing up. Unlike Sam, many people have been in this town all their lives, and they think they have a sense of what to expect. However, the film grapples with what happens when the illusions that have been drilled into your life begin to fade away, and the truth that appears in its face is far, far, uglier.

 

Which leads us to the ending.

 

Turn away from the rest of the review now if you haven't read it.

 

Spoiler

First off, let me say the obvious.

 

FUCK SAM'S DAD.

 

HOLY SHIT.

 

HE MAKES JAMES PACKER LOOK LIKE FRED ROGERS.

 

HE MAKES VYCAS TAREK LOOK LIKE GRETA THUNBERG.

 

HE MAKES RAEDRIC LOOK LIKE STEVE IRWIN.

 

HE MAKES THOMAS RUSSELL LOOK LIKE GLORIA STEINEM.

 

The reveal is definitely shocking and horrifying. I mentioned before that a bit more build up could have maybe been provided, but in a way, the shock and horror that our heroes face almost reflects our own, and for that reason it actually manages to still be very effective. The horror and heartbreak of the illusion being shattered, that anyone could even possibly JUSTIFY this. You feel your senses churned to their stomach that all of this is happening, that so many women are abused, raped, and murdered to give people a sick sense of glory and ownership.

 

I think that framing the story from a more feminist perspective might have helped, to be completely honest. The story does veer a bit male-savior-y towards the final stretch. Kimber remains an engaging deutragonist, but I think some parts of it would leave a bit less of an (unintentionally) iffy taste in my mouth. This isn't a HUGE criticism, but it's something that kinda bothered me but I wasn't able to get a full sense of it yet.

 

The ending is harrowing and devastating, making us think that maybe some mysteries are best left unsolved. But then that can't be true. Because hundreds, if not thousands, of women in this world need justice. And there's still hope that the people responsible will answer for their atrocities.

 

They survived.

 

They can keep fighting.

 

If you haven't, just know that I give this an A-.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

 

    

 

Spoiler

Like Gateways, this was another film I pre-read for YourMother. Coming off of his gameverse movies, this was easily the biggest properties in the gaming world he's taken to date, and probably the biggest one anybody could possibly get. Seems like a lot would be riding on this movie, so how does it fare?

 

First off, in adapting a film off a story as simple as Mario's, you have to make some unique choices to expand the story. I like the angle of immigration, even if framing it in the context of traveling to another world as you try to make sense of another new one seems like an odd idea on paper. Ultimately, it's kind of like a Wizard of Oz story where the world that these new characters visit ends up teaching them lessons on how to thrive in their own worlds. But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.

 

On a basic level, the casting and storytelling works pretty well. The story does drag a little bit (after this year I'm not one to talk), but it reamins engaging thanks to the chipper and light tone of it all. Mark Dindal was a strong choice to direct this for that reason. The casting choices, while definitely a bit of a mixed bag, still work out fairly well. Isaac is definitely having a ball as the iconic mustachioed plumber, while Liev Schrieber is clearly typecast as a hammy villain for a reason. Weirdly, enough if there's one secret weapon the film has, it's....

 

 

Daisy's unexpected addition of depth, especially when Peach is usually the main female character, is an unexpected yet pretty cool surprise. Her own story relating to immigration to the mushroom kingdom feels real, even as she delves into hypocrisy and cynicism. It's an arc that keeps her as a flawed character yet one you care about and can sympathize with. It also shows how people can fall into anti-immigrant narratives all to easily, but also the fallacy behind it. Kravitz could definitely get a nomination for her work here, and it gives a cool layer to the film.

 

Speaking of unexpected depth, the film was originally going to end with Mario and Luigi staying in the mushroom kingdom and Daisy going her own way. I suggested the new ending as one that would serve as a more honest and poignant resolution to its plot on the struggle of immigration while also giving Daisy a more satisfying ending all of her own. The new ending works pretty well as a result, capturing these themes really well.

 

As a whole, Gateways is still the superior Endless effort of the year, but there's a lot of fun to be had here, on top of some unexpected depth and some storytelling surprises. Definitely more than just a fun afternoon at the movies, and one of the best animated video game movies yet in CAYOM.

 

B+

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Mystery Round #1

First up on the gauntlet....

 

Spoiler

@Blankments ft. EGK's

The App: The Jeremy Renner App - The Movie 

 

Spoiler

@SLAM!'s

The Fairly OddParents 

 

[YM!]

@Spaghetti how would you rank Mario and Gateways with the other Endless Animation films, Splatoon and A Fool’s Errand?

[Ezen Baklattan]

Let's go:

 

1. Can You Imagine
2. Gateways
3. The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl
4. Super Mario Bros
5. My Peoples
6. Don't Let the Pigeon Drive
7. Medusa
8. A Fool's Errand
9. Spyro: Dragonheart
10. Splatoon
11. Battletoads
12. Crash Bandicoot
13. The Second Crash Bandicoot

[Ezen Baklattan]

Jeremy Renner's Long Ass Ego Massage 

 

    

 

Spoiler

Acting like the back-alley child of Johnny Johnny and Chuck Norris/Liam Neeson, this film (whose title I can't remember off the top of my head) is a truly surreal creature. It's legitimately hilarious at times, but one can tell how intentional that hilarity is, or how controlled the chaos is. I think as Director, Fred Durst doesn't quite have the right control to tell this wild tale, but also feels like one of the few people ridiculous to do this and give John Travolta even wilder hair than last time.

 

Honestly, this is one of those films where it isn't a movie so much as an, um, experience. It's a delight to watch and feels truly bizarre and off kilter. It's not particularly amazing, but meet it on its bizarre wavelength, and you'll have fun. Fun in a "so bad it's good" way? Who's to say. But it looks like there's legit effort in this so I'll give it a

 

B

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Listen up folks.

 

Change of plan.

 

I am now going to tackle requests in order in which they were released.

 

Only stuff that was requested will get a review.

 

I will reveal these as the Mystery Rounds right now:

 

Spoiler

The Thin, The Phat, and the Felon

Mass Effect: Ascension

Pikmin

Schadenfreude

Baseball Boy: The Base Thief

Duck Hunt

 

So the current queue is:

 

Spoiler

Fairly Oddparents

Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. the Current Hollywood Landscape

Thermal

Children of Eden

The Thin, The Phat, and the Felon

Mass Effect: Ascension (with special guest Garrus the Cat)

Facepaint

Pikmin

Plus One

Schadenfreude

Baseball Boy

Thirsty

Fiesta Loca

Voicemail

In The Aeroplane Over the Sea

Duck Hunt

Bleach

The Most Wanted Man in Great Britain

The Neon Psalms

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

The Fairly Oddparents

 

   

 

Spoiler

Ehh, I don't really have too much to say about this one. I loved The Fairly Oddparents growing up, although the show's gotten pretty rough once I started growing past it. (Also Butch Hartman's kind of a piece of shit, but that's a discussion for another time.) I was very curious to see how Slambros created a film of the property.

 

I already know it takes a lot of liberties from the show and does a lot with the different characters, which isn't too bad; I'm no fairly oddparents purist or anything. But honestly, as a whole, it's fairly unremarkable. The madcap humor and charm of the show is only here in spurts, and a lot of it feels disappointingly flat, not to mention very weirdly paced. The Skylark plot kind of goes nowhere, and the climax feels like it ends just as it begins.

 

It's still fun in spurts, and it's no Last Airbender, but I kind of wished for more.

 

C

 

(Jon Hamm as Timmy's dad is A+ casting though)

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

@Blankments

 

Let's go.

 

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Spoiler

I can't help but feel like this whole project was founded on @Blankments trying to guilt trip me.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Spoiler

You know I should actually greenlight this movie.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Spoiler

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Spoiler

Charlie Heaton rn:

 

 

[4815162342]

1 hour ago, Spaghetti said:

Mass Effect: Ascension (with special guest Garrus the Cat)

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Spoiler

I CACKLED.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. the Current Hollywood Landscape

 

   

 

Spoiler

LMAO at all the Sp4rk references. I have no intention of resetting it. And my CEO isn't satan, don't worry.

 

I was a big fan of this saga in 2.0, but the game imploded during its wildest year yet. I was excited when @Blankments announced the saga again (but sorry, I stand by that box office number) and how he would bring the surreal nature of it into the game. This one jumps into the surreality quicker than ever before, jumping into a meta narrative on the game while delivering gonzo setpieces and bizarre yet intoxicating fun.

 

This series offers more of the zany fun that fans of the 2.0 saga have come to expect, but I can't really say that it's friendly to newcomers.

 

I think the saga maybe throws a bit too much at the wall for being one of the first films in its franchise, and it definitely feels a bit overlong. While the meta stuff is really hilarious (Thomas's appearance literally making me howl with laughter), I can see how it gets lost on some of the audience, and maybe some of the reviews who haven't previously been exposed to the franchise.

 

But as soneome in on the joke, It was a hoot. There's the same wild energy you won't find anywhere else in CAYOM, and even as it slightly overstays its welcome, you can tell that everyone is having a complete blast working on this film, from the actors to director Clark Gregg. Their energy (as problematic as the two leads are) is just kind of irresistible, and even if you're completely lost, the film is simply an absolute riot as it dives further into the fever dream "satire" of Hollywood.

 

Like One Punch Man, you need to meet it halfway, but for audiences willing to take the ride and let Clark Gregg guide them, they're going to have a ridiculously fun time.

 

B+

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

@Xillix @Blankments

 

Tonight we boil in the lake while lost in the wilderness.

 

@4815162342

 

Sunday we discover our favorite place on the Citadel.

 

@SLAM! @Blankments

 

Monday we add one more to Olimar's party.

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Thermal

 

  

 

Spoiler

@Xillix's disaster flicks have been a mainstay of CAYOM, and there's always at least one ride a year. While this is far closer In the Valley than Cataclysmic, there are a few reasons why Thermal ultimately gets a passing grade.

 

The nature of the disaster is truly unique here, while the angle of corporate meddling ruining the plane is a trope as old as time itself (not a particularly untrue one, but it's kinda played out here). It works because there's a cool dynamic between the characters, and Sophia Lillis is a compelling, if somewhat flat and cliched, character. Dana and Sean never left much of an impression on me.

 

The movie is legitimately thrilling at times and nerve-wracking, even as the film veers into questionable scientific accuracy; either way it's compelling. The second half drags a bit too long, but it's still a high point of the movie, which is a solid if unspectacular little flick.

 

B-

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Children of Eden

     

 

Spoiler

I was never a very religious person (and am agnostic to this day), so I never really had a particularly strong attachment to the...erm....source material that Children of Eden draws from. Watching the film, however, was a largely intriguing experience that I'm still trying to fully understand.

 

The film, while reaching the crux of the biblical stories it draws from (to the best of my knowledge) offers a reliable telling of both of them while providing more depth and nuance to the characters' rationale. This is perhaps a bit more effectively done in the Garden of Eden's story than that of Cain and Abel, the latter of which felt a bit overblown at its dramatic highpoints. Like Bambi, there's a clear two act structure (cutting between the two biblical stories and entrance into the wilderness. The structure is a bit wonky in its execution given how Adam and Eve feel a bit muddled in the second half.) However, when this movie works, it SOARS.

 

Cuaron and Chivo are clearly a cinematic dream team, and the cinematography and visuals in this are absolutely gorgeous and bursting with life. Bolstered by Stephen Schwartz' dazzling and poignant music, along with actors who can mostly pull off their vocal demands, the film is a sensory masterclass even at the very least. Lupita Nyong'o, however, might be the film's MPV. It's a shame she gets little compelling to do in the second half, but when she is on screen, she completely soars. Her final moment is particularly masterful, maybe ensuring her a nomination for Best Actress.

 

As flawed as it is, Children of Eden is a touching, thought provoking tale that will wow audiences and make them think. I don't get into the religious aspects here, but @Blankments has a cool analysis of the themes, and he's created quite a spectacular story on the big screen. One I'll be thinking about for a while.

 

A-/B+