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4815162342

Crunching the Numbers: Year 6

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Schedule for the Random Monthly Draws:

 

FRIDAY

Espionage Project

Thomas Was Alone

Irreplaceable

Super Mario Bros.

 

SATURDAY

Lumberjanes

Forgiveness

Yolanda Dreams of Yogurt

Schadenfreude

 

SUNDAY

All-Nighter

Shiverin' Gulch

Understand

Jingle Hell
 

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9 hours ago, 4815162342 said:

LucIId

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

And oh boy does it go from there. You know how I said that Baseball Boy Deux was complete nonsense? Well kids, I was wrong.

Are we sure this is not the opening to some weird fetish porn that somehow slipped in there?

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Espionage Project

 

Featuring a so bad it is good English accent from Matt Damon and the longest fight in a hallway in CAYOM history, this is a non-stop pastiche of over the top action sequences loosely connected by a conspiracy theory plot that barely is even a conspiracy since the heroes are spoonfed information every step of the way. It is utterly stupid and loud, but let's be honest, this is exactly the kind of movie that is made to waste a couple hours on cable one summer afternoon, admit you'd watch it at least once while flipping through the channels.

 

 

Thomas Was Alone

 

Well, not technically alone, since Thomas collaborates with other AI. There are plenty of nifty and inventive visuals that make the most of a more limited scale and budget, but portray the inner workings of computers and the birth of self-awareness for programs in an intriguing and engaging way. It blows by pretty quickly with lightning pacing. A shame that the characters are pretty thin and for the most part just background scenery. Something special could have been made here.

 

 

Irreplaceable

 

A standard concert film that showcases Beyonce's showmanship with some Queen Bee propaganda dashed in. YMMW, but it is competently made.

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SUPER MARIO BROS.

 

Spoiler

 

The latest entry into the NintendVerse is a story about two plucky Italian plumbers who might look a bit familiar. The last attempt way back when to make this franchise into a movie went about as well as a Pinky & The Brain scheme, but this new outing ditches the live action and instead goes for a colorful vibrant animated vibe. How does this version fare?

 

Actually, pretty well. The film does a solid job of integrating various gameplay mechanics into the setting of the movie and explaining Mario and Luigi's interactions with them without being overly expositive or ham-fisted. The animation style leads to some kooky kinetic fun as Mario and Luigi accidentally smash Goombas, spiral Koopas, grow in size, or spill fire everywhere. Oscar Isaac isn't quite the best fit for Mario, but Jay Baruchel is definitely a spot-on Luigi. I also appreciate that the film takes some time to build up the two key relationships of the film (Mario/Luigi and Peach/Daisy) so it's not just recreation of iconic game levels but also an actual world to live in.

 

There are some issues with the film though, namely with the pacing. Honestly, the film could probably lose the entire prologue with kid Mario and kid Luigi, as well as trim the stuff in the first act. Wario and Waluigi only exist to remind audiences that they exist and that they will show up in a larger way in some future film. Additionally, the third act could cut out the entire desert sequence since it mainly serves as padding. There are also a few instances in the film where it gets a little too cutesy or silly for its own good, but those instances are few and relatively far between.

 

At the end of the day, you have a fun and engaging movie that should appeal to families of most ages, though some adults may shake their heads or groan a bit at some of the more juvenile aspects. It's a good time and hopefully the formula will get more refined and polished as we go to space next.

 

Spoiler

One last thought, I hope the films do not string out the Bowser/Peach dynamic too long. The series would be well served if maybe by the end of the next one Peach is able to convince Bowser that No Means No and we don't get 4 movies of Bowser constantly interfering.

 

 

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4 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

One last thought, I hope the films do not string out the Bowser/Peach dynamic too long. The series would be well served if maybe by the end of the next one Peach is able to convince Bowser that No Means No and we don't get 4 movies of Bowser constantly interfering

It won’t. I promise you that.

 

Spoiler

Hell, Bowser isn’t even the main villain of the series. 

 

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LUMBERJANES

 

Spoiler

 

BY THE POWER OF GREYSK- wait wrong movies, ahem, FRIENDSHIP!

 

Lumberjanes is an incredibly quirky oddball mixture of a film. Add two parts Wes Anderson movies, one part Scott Pilgrim, one part Young Adult millennial takes on ancient mythology, with plenty of girl power solidarity to taste, and you get the rough recipe for this movie. A lot of this mixture can be funny and engaging and delightful, but there are times where it borders on the too twee and precocious. There are definitely a few instances where a gag is set up and the film milks it until it is drier than the water cow things on Ach'To after Luke is done with them. One example is once the Velociraptor fight is over, the film keeps going forward with a large montage of additional monsters, additional kooky countermeasures, and rubs it in that strange things are attacking and only ingenuity is saving the day. A little less is more would help. The film also feels a bit too overwhelming at its running time, since there is A LOT packed in there. A little trimming and room to breathe would have helped.

 

But on to the highlights. A film about five campers and their counselor learning the powers of friendship and solidarity and strength in togetherness obviously only works if we buy into the relationship between the six, and the film nails that handily. While the tweeness gets a little too infectious with some of their antics, a lot of the interactions are sweet and earned and tender, and there are plenty of soft, emotional moments that give each camper their own personality and sense of self. Some of the best moments are where Ripley turns everything into a cartoon and basically turns the movie into a goofy Saturday Morning Disney Cartoon with her sudden control over animals and the like.

 

This is not a film for everyone, as evidenced by some reactions, as it takes a lot to buy into the style and tone. Even for someone who enjoyed Scott Pilgrim and really likes a few Wes Anderson movies (such as the obvious inspiration of Moonrise Kingdom), this film does border on being too much at times. But the core character themes should resonate with everyone and it will definitely be latched onto by at least a small portion of the moviegoing public. Give it a chance, and while YMMV, most people, even if a bit overwhelmed, should walk out with a smile at the end.

 

 

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3 minutes ago, cookie said:

I think it’s that lack of room to breathe you mentioned that is the catalyst for all the issues I had with it, since you don’t get time to grasp much before it’s on to the next random encounter.

That's fair honestly. If you read the first two volumes front to back the comics aren't much better, but they still had the advantage of being split into issues.

 

The sequel will diverge a bit more from the material and have a bit more leveled material in its downtime, but the big issue here was just fitting in the popular scenes and full plot in a sub two hour runtime.

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Forgiveness

 

It's an engaging crime dramady that tries to mix the breeziness of an Ocean's movie with the poignant financial mischief of a Big Short. It falls short of both bars, being a bit too slapdash in construction. The weakest aspect of the film is the Rich Family Fraud angle, since it creates a couple too many deus ex machinas to get the plot going and then to get it resolved. I think the film would have been much better off if it was solely about the financial aid department and them staff there going into the fraud scheme with contacts throughout the school secretly moving money around, etc. Granted we get vicious demon rich lady Charlize chewing the scenery, but I think all that family dynamic holds the film back from cutting loose into satirizing and skewering higher education finance.

 

The sharp dialogue and strong ensemble help carry the film forward to be pretty positive, but this is definitely something that could have been a lot more than the solid bit we got.

 

 

 

Yolanda Dreams of Yogurt

 

Goes down like Chobani.

 

 

 

Schadenfreude

 

A moody German drama that initially starts with a good sense of tone and ambiance, and then it starts to stumble when Otto proves to be the most incompetent cheating spouse in recent cinema history. The stumbling continues when the criminal trial subplot pops in and out with only the most minor of interludes, and doesn't really pay off other than highlight that Otto's incompetency extends to his job as a defense attorney. It ultimately peters out without much of an impact, though Nina Hoss' lead performance is engaging and emotional.
 

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27 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

Yolanda Dreams of Yogurt

 

Goes down like Chobani.

 

 

 

Schadenfreude

 

A moody German drama that initially starts with a good sense of tone and ambiance, and then it starts to stumble when Otto proves to be the most incompetent cheating spouse in recent cinema history. The stumbling continues when the criminal trial subplot pops in and out with only the most minor of interludes, and doesn't really pay off other than highlight that Otto's incompetency extends to his job as a defense attorney. It ultimately peters out without much of an impact, though Nina Hoss' lead performance is engaging and emotional.

 

I LOLed! Hilarious reviews! :rofl:

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All-Nighter

 

A super kiddie comedy that starts off with a fun little premise but ends up not doing too much with it and resolves a little too neatly and cutely for its own good.

 

 

Understand

 

It's a discount store Limitless that tries to make up for a rote, aimless storyline with thinly coated layers of philosophical questioning that are about as deep as the study outline of a college student who doesn't pay attention in class. Also, the film relies on having its key philosophical and psychological insights in a battle of wills to come from David Henrie, which is a major miscast that flattens an already level and tension-less finale.

 

 

Jingle Hell

 

Insanely gory, insanely over-the-top, insanely goofy beyond measure. It's The Stepford Wives mixed with Black Christmas and while some scenes are designed to purely gross you out, and in fact maybe go a bit too far in that goal, the overall movie is quite fun, if janky.

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9 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

Understand

 

It's a discount store Limitless that tries to make up for a rote, aimless storyline with thinly coated layers of philosophical questioning that are about as deep as the study outline of a college student who doesn't pay attention in class. Also, the film relies on having its key philosophical and psychological insights in a battle of wills to come from David Henrie, which is a major miscast that flattens an already level and tension-less finale.

Thank you @Spaghetti for requesting this to me because this shit sounds wild.

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