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SUR(VI)VOR Ep. 12: AN IRISHMAN IN BROOKLYN

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The Gene Kellys, wearing their Sou’westers, enter W 44th Street from sixth as The Fred Astaires, wearing their Top Hats, enter from seventh.  They meet Captain Wondyful and @SLAM! in front of the Belasco Theater.

 

CAP: Happy Halloween!  Gather around, Survivors.  The Fred Astaires, take a look at the new The Gene Kellys.  @Spaghetti voted out at last week's Tribal Council.

 

The Fred Astaires seem shocked.

 

CONFESSIONAL:

  • CHAS: They're ruthless.  Spaghetti was the Godfather of this game.  They just whacked Michael Corleone!
  • CLAIRE: [straight into the camera] Oh, that's a twist.

 

SLAM!: It's been a couple of crazy weeks for you since the reveal of Captain Wondyful as my cohort, the formation of the new teams, the sudden death elimination, the crushing closeness of last week's challenge, and now Keanu's Big Decision.  So we've decided to give everyone a night on the town!

 

Captain Wondyful holds up tickets in a fan formation.

 

SLAM!: First up, tickets to Martin Scorsese's The Irishman.

CAP: Prime seats in the center Orchestra for everyone.

SLAM!: You even get souvenir books!

CAP: Enjoy your roadshow!  We'll see you after the movie! 

 

KEANU: Wait! What about my decision?

 

She holds up her sealed envelope with her decision.  Cap extends her hand for it.  Keanu walks over and gives it to her.  

 

CAP: Thank you.  We'll handle it after the movie.

 

Ushers come out to take the Survivor's tickets, and they follow them into the theater to their seats.

 

CONFESSIONAL:

  • PANAMOVIE: This is very exciting!  The theater's incredible!  So much red and gold!
  • KEANU: I'm so nervous.  What if I didn't pick right?  Now I'm supposed to watch a movie!?
  • CHAS: I don't trust this.  Does anyone have a pen and paper?  She's gonna test us after.  Or we're going to have 20 minutes to recreate a scene.  I need to pick a favorite scene.  Do I need to remember the dialogue?
  • SHEIKH: I hope I get to seat next to Keanu.

 

Sheikh slips in before JJ-8 to sit next to Keanu.  ZeeSoh and DAJK cozy up next to each other.  ZeeSoh puts their arms around DAJK, who raises an eyebrow. The Survivors find their seats, the lights dim, and they enjoy three and half hours of real cinema. In a Broadway theater. 

 

CONFESSIONAL:

  • WRATH: BEST. MOVIE. EVER.
  • THANOS: I fell asleep. [Shrugs with an eye roll] It's not like it's Endgame.

 

After the movie ends, and everyone else files out, only the Survivors remain. Captain Wondyful and SLAM! mosey down the aisle. 

 

SLAM!: Have fun?

 

Everyone says YEAH!

 

CAP: Fantastic!  Keanu, it’s time.

 

Captain Wondyful rips open the envelope and pulls out a card.

 

CAP: JJ-8, DAJK.  Please step forward.

 

They both do.

 

CAP: I will call one of your names. You will drop your Sou'wester and immediately join The Fred Astaires.  Your scores this week will count toward their average.

 

Captain Wondyful reads the name: JJ8.  

 

JJ8 turns back to this team.  He tries to hold it together.

 

CONFESSIONAL:

  • JJ8: [visibly upset] It's fine.  I don't want to be on a team that loses by .01% anyway.  Good riddance.

 

Slam gives JJ8 his Top Hat.  

 

CAP: Wrath, Sheikh, please step forward.

 

Sheikh smiles.

 

SHEIKH: There's no need to read the name, Captain.  [Sheikh takes off his Top Hat] I know it's me.

 

Captain Wondyful flips over the card.  It reads WRATH.

 

6hcbP9.gif

 

 

 

SHEIKH: [Turning to Keanu] But...

KEANU: I'm sorry, Sheikh.

 

CONFESSIONAL:

  • SHEIKH: I can't believe... I thought it us to the end. 
  • KEANU: I had to think what was best for the Tribe...
  • SHEIKH: Maybe she thought she didn't have the numbers?  That I would be a target.  I'm safer on The Fred Astaires.  We'll still be together after the merge.
  • KEANU: And... it's best for the Tribe... if Sheikh's not focused.

 

SLAM!: We have our new teams. 

 

The Gene Kellys:

@DAJK @Keanu @Thanos Legion @ZeeSoh, and now @Wrath

 

The Fred Astaries:

@chasmmi @Claire of Themyscira @PanaMovie @Sheikh, and now @JJ-8.

 

CAP:  And! Your Immunity Challenge Starts... Right! Now!

 

CONFESSIONAL:

  • DAJK: I hate her.

 

CLAIRE: You said we have the night off!

SLAM!: We said we decided to give everyone a Night On The Town! 

 

CONFESSIONAL:

  • CHAS: I'm going to recreate the scene where they're talking about being late.  It's easy setup.  Reverse Two-shot.  I can do that in 20 minutes.

  • WRATH: This is such a whirlwind. I... feel so protective of the Fred Astaires. PanaMovie and I are the only OG Team Sovokia left. Claire and I vowed to stick together from the Birds of Prey. Now I am just supposed to be on The Gene Kellys? Oh, and, Gene Kelly sucks.  He made Debbie Reynolds cry.  This is trash.

 

CAP: The coat closet in the lobby's been stacked with costumes in garment bags.  You have five minutes to grab a bag, get into the costume, and get back to the lobby.  Once you touch a bag, it's yours.  No changing out.

 

SLAM!: Three... Two... One... Go!

 

The Survivors hustle up the aisles to the closet.  They all frantically go for the closet bags, ripping off their clothes, and putting the new costumes.

 

CAP: TWO MINUTES!

 

Keanu runs into the lobby first, dressed as Halle Berry Catwoman.

Claire follows as Captain Marvel with her Lesbian Hair TM.

 

SLAM!: ONE MINUTE!

 

JJ8 runs out as JJ Abrams' Spock.

ZeeSoo as Gene Kelly from The Pirate.

Thanos Legions waddles out as a giant Pika PIka.

 

CAP: THIRTY SECONDS!

 

Sheikh runs out as Batman.

PanaMovie puts his flower in his lapel as he enters in a Fred Astaire in white-tie dress code tuxedo.

DAJK enters wearing plaid.

 

KEANU: What are you supposed to be?

DAJK: I'm a Disney Stooge.

CAP: You're a Plaid VIP Tour Guide at Disneyland!

DAJK: A Disney Stooge!

 

SLAM!: TWENTY SECONDS!

 

Music hits.  Everyone turns to see Chasmmi strut out as Steph McMahon.

 

PANAMOVIE AND SHEIKH: STEPH! STEPH! STEPH! 

 

SLAM!: TEN SECONDS!

 

Wrath fiddles big clown shoes, he can't get them on!

 

SLAM!: THREE SECONDS!

 

Wrath trips over his laces trying to find his fake mustache!

 

SLAM!: TWO SECONDS!

 

Wrath finally gets it!  But now can't find his suspenders!

 

SLAM!: ONE SECOND!

 

Wrath looks around for his hat --

 

SLAM!: Times Up!

 

Wrath comes out into the lobby half-dressed as Gene Kelly as a Clown from The Pirate

 

CAP: I'm sorry, Wrath.  You did not get your costume on in time.  You will not compete in this week's Immunity Challenge.

 

tenor.gif

 

Keanu looks like she wants to throw up.

 

THE GENE KELLYS ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER, YELLING AT SLAM! AND CAP:

  • ZEESOH: To quote Spaghetti: "Are you fucking kidding me?"
  • DAJK: No.  NO.  You are NOT screwing us again!
  • ZEESOOH Are you FUCKING kidding me?

 

Thanos Legion says something but through the costume is just comes out as PIKA PIKA!

 

AS THE FRED ASTAIRES CRACKLE.

 

JJ8 to The Gene Kellys:

 

giphy.gif

 

SLAM!: Wrath, there's a cab outside that will take you back to the hotel.  Again, you will not compete in this week's Immunity Challenge.  You WILL compute in the Tribal Council Immunity Challenge, and you will be eligible for elimination.


Wrath nods.

 

CONFESSIONAL:

  • WRATH: I think I was still shook.  Subconsciously still want The Fred Astaires to win.  But now, if I don't win Tribal Immunity, I could be the next one to go.  

 

He walks over to the Fred Astaires to give them one last hug, and a Good Luck.  Then he walks out of the lobby.

 

CAP: Our nine remaining Survivors, you look great in your costumes!  Get an Uber or Cab.  We'll meet you over in Brooklyn for your Challenges!  Here's the address.

 

SLAM! gives Claire and Keanu an address and some cash.

 

SLAM!: See you there!

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRNeujF6dzXhCZm1MTfIyC

 

In The Gene Kelly's Uber, Keanu, ZeeSoh, and DAJK conspire in the back.  Thanos, as Pika Pika, holds on for dear life on the top of the Prius.

 

DAJK: Keanu, it's not your fault!

KEANU: But it was MY decision.  Who cares about fault? I'm going to be blamed.

DAJK: You're not going home this week! We stick together.  We WIN.  And if we don't, we vote out Wrath. Done deal.

ZEESOH: Or is it?

 

They both look at ZeeSoh.

 

In the Fred Astaires, in their Yellow Cab van, gossip:

 

CHAS: Glad you're here, man.

JJ8: I'm ready to crush them.  

CLAIRE: We won't do that if Sheikh doesn't Wake! Up!

SHEIKH: I thought she cared for me!

CLAIRE: She's USING you!

JJ8: Can confirm!

CLAIRE: You're a shell of your former self!  I CAN keep carrying this team SINGLE-HANDEDLY on my back, but I shouldn't HAVE TO!  All of you boys need to STEP UP!

PANAMOVIE: [to Sheikh, earnestly] We need the Sheikh who finished second in the Summer Games.  ZeeSoh barely beat you.  That's who you need to focus on -- on taking him DOWN.

 

Sheikh nods, taking it all in, and then nods some more.  Maybe they're right.

 

SHEIKH: Okay, let's do it.

 

 

 

Screen_Shot_2019-11-03_at_9.04.57_PM.png 

 

The Survivors all pile out of their cabs in Brooklyn at Paddy's at Park Slope.

 

They step out to find SLAM! in a giant banana.  

 

SLAM!: An Irish Pub for an Irish Man.  I hope you like your Corn beef and cabbage!  Follow me on in.

 

They follow him into the Pub to find Captain Wondyful in her full Wonder Woman armor standing near a water trough.

 

CAP: Welcome to your night on the town, Survivors.  Tonight's challenge: How well can you hold your Irish Whiskey.  Last team standing, wins Immunity.  We have a couple rounds of games.  You tap out, you fall down, you throw up, you're done.  Quick safety note: We have PLENTY of water.  Drink it between games.  When you're done, the bar's got some lovely hangover food in way of a full Irish Breakfast.  And make sure to take some Advil with your meal.  That said, let's get started!

 

A waiter comes out and passes shots of Jameson.

 

CAP: To Cinema!

SURVIVORS: To Cinema!

 

They all take a shot.  Even Thanos Legion, who uses a straw.

 

SLAM!: First up, let's bob for some Candy Apples!  Let's stat with the Gene Kellys!

 

The Gene Kellys gather around a bucket.  SLAM! gives them as three count, and they're down, heads up the water -- except for Thanos who can't cause he's a giant Pikachu.  ZeeSoh comes up first with nothing, followed by Keanu.  DAJK comes up last with an apple in his mouth!

 

CAP: DAJK earns a candy apple and +2% to his scores!  Everyone else on the team, take a shot.

 

The rest take a shot.

 

SLAM!: The Fred Astaires, showtime!

CHAS: I'm good.  I don't want to mess up my hair.

 

He tosses back his second shot.

 

The Fred Astaires bob for an apple.  PanaMovie and Sheikh come up with nothing.  Claire almost gets an apple, but comes up short.  JJ8 comes up with an apple!

 

SLAM!: JJ8 earns a candy apple and +2% to his score!  Everyone else, take a shot.

 

They do.

 

pintheoscaronmarty2_copy.jpg

 

CAP: Time for your Second Game. As we all know, Martin Scorsese was nominated five times by the Academy for Best Director before they finally felt sorry for him and gave him --

 

SLAM: She means before he finally won Best Director for his monumental work on The Departed.

 

CAP: That is exactly what I meant. We have a poster of Marty up on the dartboard. Close your eyes, take a shot, spin around six times, and try to Pin The Oscar on Marty. Survivor who gets it closest to Scorsese's hand, wins!

 

One by one they all line up:

 

Chas doesn't seem phased.  He even sashays in his heels.  He pins the Oscar right on Marty -- on his head.


DAJK stumbles midway but recovers to get an Oscar on Marty's hand.

 

Keanu blows Sheikh a kiss as she takes her shot.  She gets her Oscar close to Marty's arm but DAJK is still the closest!

 

PanaMovie takes a shot, spins around, and walks off in the wrong direction.

 

JJ8 takes a shot and walks straight -- only it's straight into the wrong wall!

 

Claire takes a shot, walks backward and in heels, and pins the Oscar on DAJK's Oscar.

 

ZeeSoh wobbles but gets an Oscar on Marty's chest.

 

The Gene Kellys take off Thanos's Pikachu head.  He takes his shot, waddles, over, and manages to get his Oscar on Marty's hand by DAJK's.

 

It's down to Sheikh.  He takes his shot, spins around, and walks straight toward the board.  He wobbles but pins the Oscar right on Marty's hand!

 

 

The Fred Astaires go wild.

 

CLAIRE: YES!  YES!  That's how you do it!

 

SLAM!: It appears that DAJK, Thanos Legion, Claire, and Sheikh all got their Oscars on Marty's hands.  As a celebration, let's all take a shot!

 

Everyone does.

 

CAP: That means Chas, ZeeSoh, JJ8, PanaMovie, and Keanu, you're out.  To mourn, let's all take a shot!

 

Everyone does.

 

SLAM!: The players out, make sure to grab your water and breakfast.

CAP: They end have blood sausage!

SLAM!: That's super gross!

CAP: More for me!

 

CONFESSIONAL

  • SHEIKH: I forgot how GOOD it feels to win!  It might be the six shots of Jameson, but WOO-HOo!
  • CLAIRE: What else is there to say? I give the best pep talks.
  • KEANU: I think I'm gonna throw up, and I don't know if it's the alcohol or Sheikh winning or both but can someone get me a bucket?

 

As the DQ'd Survivors make their way to the bar for breakfast (and Keanu to the loo), Captain Wondyful and SLAM! lead the four remaining Survivors over to a table.  They all sit down.  They look at a tile map on the table:

 

Countymap.JPG

 

CAP: Here's how this is gonna work.  Jimmy Hoffa disappeared in somewhere in Michigan in 1975.  Your job is to find him.  He's chopped up into six body parts -- a head, a torso, two arms, two legs -- somewhere.  Pick up a county tile and turn it over.  If there's no body part, you take a shot.  If there is a body part, you can turn over another county.  No body part, shot; body part, keep going.  First person to find all six tiles and Jimmy Hoffa, wins Immunity for their tribe!

 

CONFESSIONAL:

  • DAJK: There's like seventy counties.  She's trying to kill us.  I want to look at my OSCA contract!  Is this even safe?
  • THANOS: I'm three times larger than the rest of them, I got this in the bag.
  • SHEIKH: I'm not even drunk! I'm stone-cold sober.  There's... There's supposed to be two of you right?
  • CLAIRE: So what if it takes 20 shots.  The whiskey's been watered down all night.

 

SLAM!: Claire, you got closet to Marty.  You go first.

 

Claire looks over the map and picks out Claire county.  She finds Jimmy Hoffa's head.  Yes!  She then goes for St. Clair, but comes up with nothing.  She takes a shot.  DAJK goes next, and find nothing but the head.  Same outcome for Sheik. 

 

Thanos Legion points to a count but can't pick it up.  Cap confirmed it . He confirms it with a 'PIKA PIKA'.  Cap flips it over for him.  No body part.  Thanos slurps down a shot of Jameson.  

 

It goes on for a couple rounds -- no body part, take a shot.  Or a slurp or Pika Pika.

 

Finally, Sheikh finds a leg in Jackson -- and on a hot streak, he finds the other leg in Luce.  

 

By now some of the other Survivors have wandered over to watch.  PanaMovie notices that everyone's starting to sway a bit.  DAJK can't stop laughing as he turns over a county and finds nothing.

 

JJ8: Just like history, no one's gonna find Hoffa tonight!

PANAMOVIE: Someone's gonna throw up on the map before they do.

 

Claire flips over the head, both legs, and then finds an arm in Lake -- but fails to find the last arm.  Keanu remembers all of them but fails to find the arm. It goes to Thanos who forgets there's a leg in Jackson

 

It all comes down to Sheikh.

 

CHAS: You got this, Sheikh.  You know this.  You are this.  You feel this.

JJ8:  Shhh... Let his FOCUS.

 

They've flipped over all counties but Iron and Delta.  He finds the five body parts.  Iron or Delta.  Delta or Iron.  

 

SHEIKH: Delt... Delta's a good place to hide body.

 

Sheikh flips over Delta and finds the last arm.

 

SLAM!: TEH FRED ASTAIRES... *hick-up* WIN IMMUNITY!!!!

 

Captain Wondyful hands Sheikh the paper machine popcorn immunity idol.

 

CAP: Sheikh, you had a hell of a week.  Do you have anything to say?

 

SHEIKH: I'm focused, and I'm back --

 

He looks at Keanu.

 

SHEIKH:  And we're going to send you all home.

 

The Results:

 

Spoiler


THE GENE KELLYS
Gene-Kelly-in-The-Pirate.jpg
 
MEMBER BONUS TOTAL
Thanos Legion   80.98%
DAJK (+2%) 80.71%
ZeeSoh   79.83%
Keanu   79.76%
Wrath No Prediction 35.76%
Average        71.41%

 

Thanos Legion wins Immunity for Tribal Council.  All others will be eligible for elimination.  Details in the upcoming post.

 

THE FRED ASTAIRES
hqdefault.jpg
 
MEMBER BONUS TOTAL
Sheikh   85.41%
Claire   81.07%
Chasmmi   80.11%
PanaMovie   76.96%
JJ8 (+2%) 69.50%
Average       78.61%

 

Sheikh wins First Place!  Tuck Shop coins will be updated in the upcoming post!


 

 

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32 minutes ago, captainwondyful said:

I fell asleep. [Shrugs with an eye roll] It's not like it's Endgame.

Pika Pika Pi   

@Wrath:

 

 PIKA! PIKA PIKA PIKA!?

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34 minutes ago, captainwondyful said:

They step out to find SLAM! in a giant banana.

 

fortnite-peely-skin.jpg?itok=FwlTDd9K

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Holy moly! Twists and turns aplenty!

 

And... oops. Not my finest week.

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2 hours ago, Thanos Legion said:

Pika Pika Pi   

 

PIKA! PIKA PIKA PIKA!?

tenor.gif?itemid=5791671

Edited by Porthos
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1 minute ago, Thanos Legion said:

What a mysterious gif in this context :thinking:

I may, MAY, have been solicited for costume ideas. :ph34r:

 

...

 

Consider that my revenge for you OUTing my club.:rock:

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1 hour ago, captainwondyful said:

Thanos raises his hand.

 

THANOS: Wait. What's the twist?

CAP:  The twist is there is no twist.  

CLAIRE: There has to be a twist!

CAP: Nope. That's all I got this week!

 

Thank you. :cheekkiss: This episode took quite a toll on this kitty...… I'm spent...…..

th?id=OIP.zZPqdWXUdc2T83_jgxnavQHaFj&pid

 

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3 hours ago, Porthos said:

I may, MAY, have been solicited for costume ideas. :ph34r:

 

...

 

Consider that my revenge for you OUTing my club.:rock:

Ohhhh. Well I dunno that being an inscrutable lightning creature with godlike levels of plot armor is all that revenge-y, but if that was the intention I may have to pay you back with a F2 OW >TROS OW club ;)  

 

Spoiler

If it's actually, y'know, looking plausible

Spoiler

in a week

Spoiler

like a chicken.

 

 

 

Edited by Thanos Legion

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1 minute ago, Thanos Legion said:

Ohhhh. Well I dunno that being an inscrutable lightning creature with godlike levels of plot armor is all that revenge-y, but if that was the intention I may have to pay you back with a F2 OW >TROS OW club ;)

Strange.  I see a bunch of words on the screen, but all I hear reading them are "Pika pika pika".

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@chasmmi @Claire of Themyscira @DAJK @JJ-8 @Keanu @PanaMovie @Sheikh @Thanos Legion @ZeeSoh

 

This is your Thank You Five.  Predictions are due in three hours.  If you've already sent in your predictions, please enjoy Ginger and her iconic dress carrying Fred Astaire around the dance floor.

 

 

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@chasmmi @Claire of Themyscira @DAJK @JJ-8 @Keanu @PanaMovie @Sheikh @Thanos Legion @ZeeSoh

 

I am in the middle of Gingerbread Hell, so the episode will be up much later tonight, maybe even first thing tomorrow.  Just so everyone has 24 hours to see this, the Immunity Challenge for the losing team will be:

 

Predict The Tuesday Grosses For:

- Midway

- Doctor Sleep

- Playing With Fire

- Last Christmas

- Joker

 

These five are NOT optional.

 

And... do you want to gamble?  In Honor the Launch of Disney+, here's a chance at Plus for your scores.

 

Predict Tuesday Gross For

- Maleficent

- The Lion King

- Toy Story 4

- JoJo Rabbit.

 

If you come within the following accuracy of the prediction, you get this amount added (or subtracted) to your total scores:

 

Within 1% = +1.5%

Within 5% = +1%

Within 10% = +0.50%

Within 20% = -0.50%

Within 25% = -1%

Out of 25% = -1.5%

 

So you could possibly add +6% or -6% to your score.  Big risk, big reward.  You can predict all four, or you can predict only one, or something in between.  

 

They are due at the regular time of Tuesday 11:59PM PST / 2:59AM EST.  You also need to submit your vote for Tribal Council when you submit your predictions.  

 

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On 11/4/2019 at 7:12 PM, captainwondyful said:

THANOS: Wait. What's the twist?

CAP:  The twist is there is no twist.  

Lies! The twist was in the Tuesday all along.

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