Jump to content

cookie

Cookie's Social Distancing Corner - Y7 Reviews

Recommended Posts

Cookie's Corner's Worst of Y7

 

With then films this year receiving a D or lower from me, picking it out a ten worst wasn't that difficult. Few of these were actually excruciating to sit through, given most of them were just short fillers, but that shouldn't excuse their overall poor quality. So without further ado...

 

#10

Spoiler
 
 
🤝
 
Spoiler

 

Fish Fry by @YourMother the Edgelord

 

Tyler Perry made two films this year, and one of them, Father Knows Worst, was actually somewhat tolerable. Fish Fry though? Not so much.

 

 

#9

Spoiler
 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Making Waves 2 by @YourMother the Edgelord

 

Allow me to join @Blankments in not wanting to see this continued.

 

#8

Spoiler
 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Turkey Squad by @MCKillswitch123

 

Beth McCarthy-Miller should know better.

 

#7

Spoiler
 
 
🙂
 
Spoiler

 

Higher Ground by @SLAM!

 

One of the few films this year to actually aggravate me, Higher Ground tries to take the tried and true Yin formula and cram it into a story it has no use being in. For shame.

 

#6

Spoiler
 
 
👕
 
Spoiler

Columbine by @cannastop

 

No memes for this one. I don't mind that this story was being told, but it really shouldn't have been told this way, especially when it doesn't even feel finished.

 

#5

Spoiler
 
 
😡
 
Spoiler

 

 

Father II: Resurrection by @YourMother the Edgelord

 

I'll give this credit for having two of the funniest scenes of Year 7, whether intentionally or by accident, but that doesn't mean it still isn't pure trash.

 

#4

Spoiler
 
 
😐
1
Spoiler

 

The Disappointment by @lamamama

 

Russel Brand gets fired from McDonalds, goes on a ridiculous quest, and then gets a speech about believing in yourself from Donald Trump. Need I say more?

 

#3

Spoiler
 
 
😡
 
Spoiler

 

3:32 A.M by @Blankments

 

Prequels are often bad and unnecessary. A prequel to a franchise that's already bad and unnecessary, and barely a prequel at that? Nah, man.

 

#2

Spoiler
 
 
☝
1
Spoiler

 

Whoopsie-Daisy by @SLAM!

 

Frankly one of the more offensive films of the year in my book, given its insulting premise that it doesn't even bother committing to, instead resorting to cartoon gags so lame and juvenile even Johnny Test would pass on it.

 

#1

Spoiler
 
 
🤝
1
Spoiler

 

Love After Loving by @MCKillswitch123

 

When you set out to make the worst thing imaginable, you do often end up quite close. Love After Loving is just above Brandybrook120 Days of Sodom and the Jonny Jonny films for me, but only just.

 

Edited by cookie
  • Like 4
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites



The Honorable Mentions

 

These didn't make the cut because 25 other films did. Here they are.

 

#1

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Temple Run by @Blankments

 

#2

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Scooby-Doo: Cult of the Creeper by @Blankments and EGK

 

#3

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Hypercompetency by @Blankments

 

#4

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Starlight by @Reddroast

 

#5

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Looping by @Blankments

 

  • Like 6
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites



#25

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Tower of Babylon

 

#24

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Attack on Titan

 

#23

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

The Long Way Home

 

#22

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

The First Month

 

#21

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

1vHFsW0.gif

 

Until Dawn

 

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

#20

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Ms. Blakk 4 President

 

#19

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Birdwing

 

#18

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

The Final Cut

 

#17

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater

 

#16

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Banjo-Kazooie

 

  • Like 4
  • Astonished 1
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites



#15

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Should You Imagine?

 

#14

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Roman Fever

 

#13

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

daa.gif

 

Snow Leopards

 

#12

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

Tongues

 

#11

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

 

The Ends of the Universe

 

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites



#10

 
 
😡
1
Spoiler

Toons v Reality by @YourMother the Edgelord

 

5d1nrXd.gif

 

This was one of those films I originally somewhat underestimated during my original reading of it, and I think part of that is that I never really stopped to consider the subtext as much as I probably should've.  Not that the feedback I remember giving @YourMother the Edgelord isn't apparent in the final product and has, in turn, polished it up a bit, but I did put this below Should You Imagine? initially, which admittedly has slipped in the rankings somewhat.

 

Sometimes an inventive premise can be enough for a movie to go all the way, and Toons has one of the more inventive premises for an animated film to come out in some time. Endless Animation's streak has been hit and miss, more hit than miss lately, but I think this one is up there as one of their stronger entries.

 

#9

 
 
 
 
Spoiler

Megalo Box by @SLAM!

 

?width=630&version=2480316

 

Being quite possibly the best anime adaptation in CAYOM yet, not that that was an overly competitive category beforehand, Megalo Box overcomes its flawed beginnings to deliver a compelling take on the classic sports tale formula, putting weight on the characters and their views of the world as much as it does on corporate intrigue and the violent sport itself. If this can show the way for other anime adaptations, then the future could be bright for the genre.

 

#8

 
 
 
1
Spoiler

Pillars of Eternity: An Ancient Legacy by @4815162342

 

IwR6hA.gif

 

While not as strong as its immediate predecessor, An Ancient Legacy still finishes the trilogy on an exciting note, skipping out on the overload of exposition (most of the time) in favor of character development and stellar fantasy action sequences, even if there's a bit many in a row going into the film's second half. The Pillars franchise shows an unparalleled commitment to the so far underserved high fantasy genre and should be a beacon for others to follow its lead in the coming years.

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

#7

 
 
🤝
 
Spoiler

Notorious by @4815162342

 

original.gif

 

I think this was one of those films I was always going to like on some level, given its excellent reputation in 1.0 and @4815162342's stellar track record when it comes to films dealing with crime and intrigue, especially when it's about people turning against each other as the walls are starting to close in on them (no, this does not make Finders Keepers any better), but I think he's proved yet again that he's the go-to guy when you're looking for this sort of stuff. With both Farahani and Isaac displaying excellent chemistry and a story that works on its own without having any familiarity with the Hitchcock original, Notorious isn't the best in its genre, but it's another strong addition.

 

#6

 
 
 
 
🙂
3
Spoiler

Green Lantern Corps: Home by @YourMother the Edgelord

 

1e34c0dd45ac90e68b2ac43b9cfc05cd6458af17

 

I think a superhero blockbuster this overt about its themes is maybe not something you're going to see regular Hollywood pump out, at least not on a regular basis, but even after going over the film many times with @YourMother the Edgelord (I've tried to be as impartial as I can with my opinion) he still manages to hide a few surprises for me in the final draft. It does have its moments that risk making the whole thing buckle under its own weight like its predecessor, a film I admittedly was pretty generous with in my initial appraisal, but I think it manages to stay afloat by keeping the focus where it should be, and that's on the character of Sinestro, and Joaquin Phoenix is never not going to give his all with any performance he gives.

 

I'd even go as far as say as there are things this film does that, in hindsight, I honestly wish I'd set the time aside to do in Scavenger Wars Part II, given that they do feel similar in places (not in plot turns, but sort of the overall vibe), and if nothing else it's a big swing for the fences that I can't help but admire, even if it does make me wonder if future films are going to try and top it thematically, or revert to safer routes. Not that I'd take that much issue either way.

 

For those who're asking, the grade is an A-

 

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites



#5

 
 
 
 
👔
3
Spoiler

Countdown City by @4815162342

 

source.gif

 

For the record; I decided to bump this film's grade weeks before any of the Ansel Elgort stuff happened. It went from a B+/A- to a straight A-, because it held up more in hindsight than I originally gave it credit for, and after the allegations surfaced I didn't think it'd be fair to @4815162342 that I'd retract that because of things that are completely outside his and the film's control, especially since the film was written, posted and locked in months before any of the allegations surfaced, wether it'd be sexual assault against a minor or his usages of the N-word.

 

With that said, I do hope people understand when I say that I will no longer vote for Elgort for Best Actor, nor do I suggest anyone else should. Fuck him and his racist, predator ass. Bring on young Han Solo for the next one.

 

I think I've also finally settled on whether I think this or Last Policeman is better. I think this one is better.

 

#4

 
 
☝
 
Spoiler

Fatal Attraction by @Alpha

 

original.gif

 

Sometimes updating an already iconic premise is all you really need, and with James McAvoy delivering one of the creepier performances in CAYOM memory, I think @Alpha's re-working of the 1987 stalker classic was right on the money. I don't expect it to become a major awards contender, but it's going to hold up enough in my book.

 

And I think it's no secret that the #1 is...

 
 
😰
 
Spoiler

Outside the Law by @4815162342

 

You thought it was gonna be Finders Keepers, or the Adult Swim documentary? Hah! CAYOM's real masterpiece was this forgotten gem from all the way back in January, this truly compelling story about...

 

uh...

 

Someone who's outside the law, I guess?

 

Well, this joke died quickly.

 

 
 
🤝
 
Spoiler

Laika

by @Alpha

 

fad719d72a241dc2de9fa3985f587330.gif

Korolev, pictured thinking about how many dogs he's going to send to their deaths in the name of science.

 

It's the second year in a row where I've basically announced my top film beforehand, but sometimes you come across a film that you just don't think is going to be topped, no matter how hard anyone else tries. Laika is a beautiful and heartbreaking tale, and I think I've gushed about it enough that I don't think more needs to be said, really.

 

Congratulations, @Alpha!

 

giphy.gif

 

 

  • Like 4
  • Thanks 2
  • ...wtf 1
  • Disbelief 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites



Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use and Guidelines. Feel free to read our Privacy Policy as well.