Year 7: Review in the Time of Corona with Alpha

[Alpha]

Looping

 

 

The concept of a person stuck in a perpetual time loop has been done so many times that with every new iteration you're basically looking for a new spin on this particular sub-genre. We come close to getting that with Marsai Martin's character of Sonya, and the concept of never getting the chance to experience important milestones in your youth gives her story a lot of potential dramatic heft. Unfortunately, we're also kind of saddled with a boring character in Barry for much of the runtime, who apart from being a valuable mentor to Sonya doesn't have all that much to him besides a sort-of casual acceptance of his predicament. Overall, I admired the film's exploration of its philosophical themes but I didn't find the experience very revelatory. Just kinda life-affirming in a way we've seen plenty of times before.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 4, 2020 by Alpha

[Alpha]

Columbine

 

This movie is just straight-up unfinished. I’m not even criticizing the short-and-simple writing style here (it’s untraditional but it works just fine as far as getting information across) but this plays out more like the third act to another movie about the Columbine shooting. The background to the poisonous friendship developed between Harris and Klebold is ignored, with the film swiftly beginning with them already planning mass murder. Almost as if Mendes knows the audience is just paying to see the full bloodbath, and whatever other supporting characters are present are just thrown into the narrative like lambs being prepared for the oncoming slaughter.

 

Capturing the banal evil of school shootings in a linear narrative is already a difficult task (Gus Van Sant came close with Elephant) but this film just felt downright exploitative. Hard pass.

 

[Alpha]

Tower of Babylon

 

 

 

"How can one assume desire for Heaven without ever having seen Earth?"

That's a quote that will probably continue to haunt me for days after reading this.

Despite having a massive budget of $300 million, Tower of Babylon shares a lot more in common with Villeneuve's Enemy instead of his sci-fi epics like Blade Runner 2049 and the upcoming Dune: it's a puzzling, almost indecipherable, yet overall psychologically stimulating piece of work. It poses a ton of questions, about humanity's quixotic relationship with religion, the structuring of society and human life around the concept of work, and about what it actually means to believe in a God or higher deity, and provides little in the way of answers. It's bound to leave audiences as bewildered as its protagonist Hillalum is at the film's conclusion.

Some might consider the material, adapted from a Ted Chiang short story of the same name, plodding and impenetrable with its relatively unstructured nature. But as for me, it left me with an unshakeable feeling of dread, and truly worthy of the moniker "epic." It might be too willing to stick to Chiang's original prose at times, but I'm willing to be more forgiving both because I'm sure others (including me) have done the same at least sometime in the past, and because the material has been translated so well to the medium of film that I honestly can't complain all that much. Its simply entrancing.

The plot is not much more than a simple climb up the eponymous mythical tower, but the interactions between Hillalum and the supporting cast along the way carry with it these very profound philosophical questions that are handled with enough subtlety to work, even if the environment surrounding them is so unsubtle. However, perhaps the best comes towards the middle of the film, when Hillalum realizes that Kudda's children have never been on the ground before, and the one way they plan on heading is up to the heavens. I think that's where I had this huge moment of clarity and everything before started to come together: even as we see throughout the film all these workers basically constructing a pathway to heaven, their entire lives are simply based around working to complete this monument to a higher deity. Even as they head towards a very spiritual goal, they've all, including Hillalum, essentially become de-spiritualized human beings. So even when they try to reach heaven, they can't get there, because they have no souls, or even the proper vocabulary to articulate what having a soul actually means. The ending perfectly encapsulates this, and I'm sure even though there might be a massive debate as to whether the whole experience was a dream or not, I'm willing to put an end to that whole discussion: the prospect of reaching heaven has been dangled in front of Hillalum, but after he crosses the threshold, him ending up back where he started is God saying "none of this is for you." It's almost a terrifying allegory for our current order, where having our lives burdened by external factors like endless work has almost disconnected us from our essence as human beings.

Tower of Babylon might seem like an afterthought to others. But to me, it's one of those films that's about everything, and even if it doesn't do gangbusters at the box office, it'll be very high on my Oscar ballot.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 6, 2020 by Alpha

[Ethan Hunt]

wow. I'm really happy that this connected in the way that it did with you. 

 

Throughout the process I really struggled with whether I needed to add sequences that gave the film less of a meandering direction but ultimately I came to the conclusion that the climb itself was meandering with each day getting lost into the next and I kinda wanted to give the viewer/audience that sense in reading the story.  

 

And I really do love the short story (hence me wanting to adapt it ) But I'm also super proud that the specif quote and scene that you reference are not something ripped right out of the short story (well the moment is included but I feel like I expanded on it) and ultimately I am proud of my work on Tower of Babylon and I wasn't really sure how it was going to get recognized ( already one scathing review and I know my pre-read didn't go over super great, not that it went over super bad either.) So I'm glad that you got a lot out of it.

 

Thank You 

[Alpha]

Starlight

 

 

If one of Blanks' pet peeves is using pop culture references to describe something in the film, one of mine is when scenes are described a being a "comedic montage." If it's supposed to be funny, I wanna know what's happening in that scene! It would be like if a real-life movie featured a disclaimer that said "THIS IS WHERE THE HUMOR IS SUPPOSED TO GO" before the comic relief came on screen.

 

Nevertheless, that wasn't really my biggest issue with Starlight. My problem is that there's no real thematic depth to the whole thing. And that doesn't mean there needs to some big sociopolitical critique or importantness to it. I just felt that, despite some well-put-together action sequences, the movie never really goes beyond its character archetypes or fairly generic plot to deliver something truly special. I wish I had more to say but it really is relying on pure spectacle. In some parts that works, but there were other parts where my eyes began to glaze over. There's definitely a lot of promise in the writing, but I wish the filmmakers had given the final product a bit more focus and clarity.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 7, 2020 by Alpha

[Alpha]

Love After Loving

 

 

Takes doggy-style to a whole new level. Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum.

 

One thing’s for sure, this will no doubt contribute to the worst date night experience anyone has ever had. If you want to find the perfect relationship-ender, this is the movie for you.

 

At first I was willing to go along with the film’s explicit trashiness, thinking that even if it was disastrously handled by everyone involved it could at least be entertaining. But over the course of its running time, it just becomes too repellent and too focused on leaving a bitter taste in your mouth that it leaves me without much positive to say. Even the conclusion of one of its subplots is sure to make you reach for a barf bag as you think to yourself “this is really the note you wanted to end on?”

 

Even on just a storytelling level the film is lackluster, with the various time jumps occurring too frequently to the point where its hard to gather information.

 

In conclusion, James Foley has posted cringe and is going to loose subscriber.

 

[Alpha]

Higher Ground

 

 

Read through this two times and I'm still not sure what to make of it besides a sense of general bewilderment. I agree with MCKillswitch's take that this sort-of like a spiritual successor to Yin but unlike that which did a really good job of easing you into the wtf-ness of the whole package, this seems more focused on throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. Some fascinating imagery at parts but in the end it's a mess.

 

[Alpha]

Roman Fever

 

 

Like a family dinner argument that you're only an outside observer to, but you feel like you're being dragged into regardless because you're sitting at the same table, so you really just want to get away from the mess unfolding in front of you and either go to your room or, in this case, check out the sights and sounds of Rome.

 

Occasionally it suffers from a few soapy moments, including an ending that I'm not quite sure how I feel about, but overall I dug the My Dinner with Andre energy here, and I found it to be a very solid examination of both Amy Adams's and Winona Ryder's characters, along with the jealously and bitterness that seems to undergird their every move.

 

[Alpha]

Should You Imagine?

 

 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

I feel like I could copy-and-paste my Toons v Reality review if I could. Does it have plenty of funny gags scattered throughout its running time? Yes. Are there some well-crafted setpieces in here? Absolutely. But can it hold a candle to the original? Not really.

 

If I sound harsh, then I'm sorry. I didn't hate this film, not one bit. But I still felt very underwhelmed because it feels like we've seen this all before. At best it's cute and at worst it's just too derivative, and lands squarely in Endless Animation's comfort zone at a time when I think they could really be pushing their boundaries, storytelling-wise and style-wise as well. The mildly haphazard narrative with an overlong prologue, along with several characters that get lost in the mix certainly don't help matters.

 

Like Toons v Reality, it's bound to win over audiences and some critics alike. But overall...

 

[YM!]

While the reviews for SYI? have been disappointing, it’s a learning experience. I’d like to thank you for reviewing the film. Recently, I’ve begun to doubt my writing skills but am still looking on ways to improve. Hopefully WhatAToon’s My Hero Academia, and Endless Animation’s Naughty! and Squirrel Girl 2 turn out better and manage to recapture the heart, risks and animation wonder.

Edited May 27, 2020 by YourMother the Edgelord

[Alpha]

Monster Bug Wars

 

Silly. Incredibly silly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 2, 2020 by Alpha

[Alpha]

 

 

I saw one of the earlier reviews for this film say that it had trouble finding a distinctive "identity," and that it isn't trying to be something more than another CAYOM space opera. And I wholeheartedly disagree with that opinion, because if anything, The Long Way Home plays out like a damn good men-on-a-mission film, something like The Untouchables or Ronin. And I make those specific comparisons because the verbal quips and character moments remind me of something written by David Mamet.

 

The film's strongest element is its ensemble, and even with a crowded cast, it feels like every character gets at least one little moment to shine. And although at times Naomi Scott is basically playing the hits from her role in The Scavenger Wars, there's plenty of opportunities for great character work that the film takes advantage of numerous times in a way I found to be quite admirable. In addition, The Long Way Home doesn't waste any time before it gets going, and never becomes too bloated for its own good.

 

 

I guess my only other criticism would be that the villain characters, like Cannavale's General Grakkan, at times feel too derivative. Even if the film mostly deals in character archetypes, at least the others manage to come alive in areas where the antagonists are a bit lacking.

But overall, it's well-written with a tight script, it's a got an all-around great cast, and it's a rollicking good time at the movies that even amongst the glut of CAYOM space operas, still manages to be its own thing.
 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 2, 2020 by Alpha

[Alpha]

Megalo Box

 

 

(Yeah, I know that's MMA and not boxing but you get the point.)

 

Fighters battle in a ring designed entirely for the purpose of corporate interests, which have just as much of, if not a larger stake in the end result. Though maybe at the end of it all, they still end up the true victors. I appreciate the symbolism.

 

If it didn't occasionally exceed its grasp, I probably would've absolutely dug this. But for now, I'll just say that I really, really liked it. There's a lot at play here, with sibling rivalries, mob bosses and a whole futuristic world of boxing to set up, but for the most part, the underdog story at the heart of it all is what truly shines, along with the character work that comes along with it.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 4, 2020 by Alpha

[Alpha]

Yang

 

 

Even though I was disappointed by what I felt like was a cop-out ending, I still found a ton of things to appreciate in Yin. Mainly how despite the various twists and turns into wilder and more out-there territory, you still wait with nervous anticipation for the next big revelation, completely immersed in a world that you can never quite make sense of. It's certainly grown on me over the years, which made me excited to read the sequel Yang and see where things were going to head next, and whether we'd be able to make some sense out of exactly what the hell is going on in this universe.

Unfortunately, it seems like the filmmakers never got around to answering that question either, because Yang, in its attempt to construct an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine of suspense, philosophy and sociopolitical overtones, manages to completely fall apart before it reaches the finish line, with an ending that feels like even more of a copout than the first go-around.

And it's a shame, because I will admit that at some points, there's at least some decent attempts to construct a commentary about colonialism mixing with a culture dedicated to environmentalism and "preservation," but it's all undone by what becomes a slow-moving trainwreck with a whole bunch of stuff that just doesn't work. Like, at all.

For one, like others have pointed out, it feels like we're seeing the same movie, which is a big problem for a sequel where we're expecting some bigger revelations. Instead, it feels like it isn't building on anything, or even adding an extra dose of interesting mystery to the proceedings. And even the big revelation we get towards the end...ugh. It's like a mystery box that simultaneously never truly gets unpacked, and yet what's actually inside is just reheated leftovers. 

The only big difference this time is that whatever message the filmmakers are trying to convey is done more overtly in Yang, but so much less subtly, with an almost hamfisted approach to writing (and especially dialogue) most exemplified by Gwendoline Christie's zoologist villain, whose persona seems to be ripped from a Saturday-morning cartoon villain. If there were Razzies in CAYOM, I'd consider Christie to be a formidable contender.

In conclusion, whereas I found Yin to be entrancing, I just found Yang to be baffling.

And that ending...
 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 4, 2020 by Alpha

[Alpha]

It's been 16 days since my last review? Sheesh...

 

The Final Cut

 

 

 

While it can be easily interpreted as an allegorical take on the #MeToo movement (and the connection between Christopher Walken's villain and Harvey Weinstein is certainly there), The Final Cut maybe succeeds just as well as a horror version of Weinstein's other infamous practice of basically latching his tendrils onto artist's own personal stories and morphing them into his vision, one designed to garner himself prestige and exploit the craftsmanship of far more talented people (it can't be ignored that the Weinsteins were failed writer-directors themselves).

 

And even if the satire at times comes off as unsubtle as a brick landing on your head...

 

There's really no other way to do it when your film's building up to a climax where the protagonist gets their sweet revenge by chopping a sexual predator's dick off. And yes, it is glorious.

Despite the film's triumphs, there's some points where it feels like the satire falters by not going far enough, like a cop-out ending where the studio representatives explains to Alice how they were trying to push Mansfield out of the company. It might've been more interesting and biting if the filmmakers took the angle of the studio openly aiding and abetting their chief mogul's exploits, becoming just as much of a threat as Mansfield himself. There are such things as open secrets in Hollywood, after all. It's obviously trying to tell a smaller-scale story but it feels like Alice's bittersweet ending is still handed to her all too neatly on a silver platter.

But overall, it's a solid piece of social commentary with some well-executed horror bits, and it should manage to be a memorable experience.
 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 19, 2020 by Alpha

[Alpha]

The Ends of the Universe

 

 

Posting the Treasure Planet song because this gave me a ton of Treasure Planet vibes (the real-life movie, not the CAYOM franchise), right down to one of the main characters being named Jim. Overall, I enjoyed the world-building here, and I admire the film's attempt to make a smaller-scale work of space-faring science fiction compared to other CAYOM films, but ultimately the latter approach results in it being overshadowed by its contemporaries. Still, for the most part the writing is well-done and there's enough neat creative flourishes scattered throughout for it to keep my attention. My thoughts are brief, but that's probably because my general opinion of the film can be summed up as "it's alright."

 

 

Edited June 22, 2020 by Alpha

[Alpha]

Countdown City

 

 

 

 

I'd like to preface this review by saying that I absolutely fell in love with The Last Policeman when I read it the night before, and it's definitely one of my favorites from CAYOM 3.0 so far. It has an opening montage that immediately sucks you right into the drama, and it carries with it so much attention to detail that brings the world and its characters to life. I'd probably give it a ★★★★½, and I was highly anticipating where Numbers would take the story next in Countdown City.

So, does the follow-up in this planned apocalyptic trilogy manage to top its predecessor?
 

 

 

 

Absolutely, it does.

 

In a lot of ways this installment reminded me of Children of Men, with its imagery of a slowly-dying world, resistance groups and an ideological battle between Hank and Nico, between cynicism and idealism, resignation and hope. Yet in this instance, it's the cold-hearted pragmatist that seems to win that argument, because of how large the upcoming, irreversible tragedy looms over the entire atmosphere of the film.

 

So instead, Countdown City becomes a portrait of people at their wits ends, unable to cope with an unavoidable fate, convincing themselves of a better fate: that they'll get a special spot for themselves in a cozy bunker away from the apocalypse, that they'll be able to take on a barely-functioning government as a one-man army in one last righteous crusade, or that at the very least they'll be able to live out their dream of forming their own anarcho-syndicalist commune with their friends from college before time runs out. Maybe there's a special Uno reserve card being kept secret by the US government? Who knows. Best to live out the rest of your days shooting wandering bears with your former colleagues in the middle of nowhere, cause it ain't gonna get much better than that. Death's coming faster than your think.

 

It's just an incredibly poignant experience, uplifted by a tight narrative with an interesting mystery that helps keep the proceedings moving. I absolutely cannot wait to see where this story heads in World of Trouble, even though we all know how it's (probably) going to end.

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 25, 2020 by Alpha

[Alpha]

Attack on Titan

 

 

 

I've never really been a huge fan of anime (aside from BEASTARS BEASTARS EVERYONE WATCH BEASTARS), so when the first couple of reviews started coming in for Rorschach's Attack on Titan and things were looking mixed, I was cautiously optimistic but equally dreading the prospect of this 32,000-word war epic potentially being a dreadful slog.

Well, I can confidently say that Rorschach shouldn't feel disappointed in his work at all because this shit was pretty fuckin' rad, yo.

Sure, I absolutely see the cracks in its foundation. Do characters sometimes tend to fall by the wayside? Yes. Does it sometimes indulge in cliché anime tropes? Yes. Are those titan things ridiculously creepy? Undeniably yes. But for every character moment that doesn't quite work, or narrative slip-up, there's an action beat that's so well-written I think it'll serve as a great reference point for how to write action in the future. And even as the size of the ensemble threatens to overwhelm everything, the intercutting in the loooong final sequence is expertly executed, with each one of these characters getting their own small little moment amidst the chaos.

There are some moments that probably should've been left on the cutting room floor, like a flashback showing the death of Mikasa's parents that's a well-written piece of character development but comes at an odd point in the narrative, and Eren's constant battle cries and pledges to kill the titans threatens to become monotonous when we aren't really peeling back the layers of his character. But my gripes really can't compare to how blown away I was by some of the action writing here.

Well done.
 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 25, 2020 by Alpha

[Alpha]

Before we get to the good stuff on my Top 25 list, there's a few turds that can't be ignored. Presenting...

 

Alpha's Top 5 Worst Films of Y7

 

AKA the five films this year that made me go…

 

 

...the most.

 

#5

 

The Disappointment

 

 

 

#4

 

Whoopsie-Daisy

What a hilarious romp! This was me the entire time while watching it:

 

 

#3

 

Lena and the Featherweights

The Scrooge McDuck movies:



Whatever the hell this was:

 

 

#2

 

Love After Loving



MCKillswitch shouldn’t feel too bad about this adaptation, but it should serve as an important lesson on what telenovelas you should adapt for an American audience and which ones you should leave alone for the sake of humanity (and dogkind) in general. Hopefully they include some barfbags for the Blu-Ray release.

#1

 

Columbine

Some might wonder why I didn't go with Love After Loving as the obvious pick for worst of the year, and I think that's because Love After Loving knows it's place: it's meant to be trashy, and meant to shock its viewers with all of its grotesque imagery. But I went with Columbine because the grotesque imagery is presented here as being "artistic" or "important." In truth its more exploitative, with characters that are basically only there to preface their deaths at the hands of Klebold and Harris, the two main leads being given no narrative or thematic depth whatsoever (which you ABSOLUTELY NEED in a narrative retelling of a true story!), and a plot structure that basically zips right to the massacre. Cannastop's writing is unique and I'm anticipating some better films from him in the future, but it seems like Columbine's only true purpose was to get an Oscar by showing teenagers being shot. EASILY the worst film of the year for me, IMO.

Edited June 30, 2020 by Alpha

[YM!]

9 minutes ago, Alpha said:

Hopefully they include some barfbags for the Blu-Ray release.

Don’t you mean doggybags?