Slam! Movie Reviews: Y8 Edition

[SLAM!]

September Y8 Review Scores

 

Floodbath

Annalise Basso and Hero Fiennes-Tiffin are both a little young to be playing a couple who own a house… But other than that, I really admire this film, both for its huge long takes and its new approach to the disaster genre—rather than the drama orbiting around the disaster, the disaster orbits around the drama, and in my opinion, that’s really effective. Leigh Whannel proves himself to be a great filmmaker here. 9/10

 

The Million-Dollar Jacket

Well, it’s better than Le Million. 6/10

 

The War Between Ants

This behind-the-scenes doc explains interesting dynamics between some industry big-dogs. It’s not earth-shattering, but it’s a fine doc. 7.5/10

 

Green Arrow: The Ninth Circle

Because it moves from an island to city streets, the film sort of loses its identity a bit; it starts to blend into “superhero genre” a bit. I always appreciate good action scenes so I’m still allowing my review to lean positive, but this is a weaker hero film than the previous Green Arrow and two Static Shock films. (I’m glad Morena Baccarin recovered from Wii Play…) 6.25/10

[4815162342]

26 minutes ago, SLAM! said:

 

 

Strangers in the Town

I’m unconvinced that some of these actors are the best choices for this material—I love Jon Hamm but I just don’t see it

 

 

 

I think that may come from not seeing some of the stuff where Jon Hamm plays just a giant blowhard goofball. I cast him specifically cause of roles like that he's done before.

[SLAM!]

11 minutes ago, 4815162342 said:

 

I think that may come from not seeing some of the stuff where Jon Hamm plays just a giant blowhard goofball. I cast him specifically cause of roles like that he's done before.

 

Spoiler

 

Spoiler

yeah I should watch more Jon Hamm stuff

 

 

[SLAM!]

OCTOBER ISSUE
 

Jimmy and Jerry's Front-Page Feature

Spoiler

OLIVE'S HALLOWED EVE

 

Step aside, Jimmy and Jerry--I'll handle this one.

 

So I read this film, and I will admit that this film drags a bit in the first act. It's not snappy when it comes to getting to the plot and is interested in the relationships of the central characters to a peculiar degree--there's humor there because it's as if they're the stars of a hallmark drama, and it's played off like that even though they're cartoon animals. But yeah, while some scenes are overwritten, I must admit I enjoyed this film immensely. It's the most wholesome film of the year by a long mile.

 

The main cast captivates once again; they act with the simplicity of characters from Mark Schultz's Peanuts, which is perhaps why they're so lovable in the first place. Zendaya, Waititi, Jordan, Mulaney--all are great casting choices, and all keep the vibes going. I wouldn't say Danson's character is as good/memorable of a villain as the postman, but he certainly gets the job done.

 

And the story is captivating once it really takes off. The "spooky" thing of the film (won't spoil it here) brings the narrative to full focus and reminds viewers that our differences are good.

 

I read this film at a time when I'm struggling with what comes after college and what comes after death--that's kind of why I ditched the "we" for the "I"--and I say this film helped me cope with (or at least reflect on) those dilemmas. So I'm really thankful that it's been written and I'm really hoping that it's a box office hit (which I think it probably will be)!

 

Archibald's Canny Column

Spoiler

WORLD OF TROUBLE

 

Once again, I, Archibald, am writing on what could very well have been a front-page feature--though, of course, I was very much enticed by the literary aspect of this trilogy! And the final film in the Last Policeman trilogy certainly doesn't disappoint!

 

Everyone in the cast is great in their roles, though the reduction in the amount of cast members ends up working in its advantage. There's not as many people to follow so we get to focus on Hank's story. Speaking of Hank, Alden Ehrenreich is a great replacement for Hank. Manuel Garcia-Rulfo has a great performance, and so does Jimmy Tatro.

 

The narrative style reminded me of classic cinema, where it quietly builds until it explodes, and it's more than willing to prominently feature the encounters that happen in the middle of the story rather than just skip straight to the climax. The film feels like a quilt; it's very well weaved together.

 

See this in theaters! It's marvelous!

 

[SLAM!]

October Y8 Review Scores

 

Olive’s Hallowed Eve

Smart writing and wholesome vibes bolster a sequel that, while having a few overwritten scenes here and there, expands on the world of the first film and offers a Spooktacular movie that’s fun for the whole family! 9/10

 

World of Trouble

Classic filmmaking at its finest. Builds its intrigue in a quiet, educated, slow-burn sort of fashion. An excellent culmination to a creative, engaging, and important trilogy. 10/10

 

The Tale of a Guinea Pig

A semi-competent family film that might have been much less bearable without Vanessa Bayer’s strong supporting voice performance. 5/10

 

Dirty Hands

An investing crime thriller that holds the audience's interest for its entire runtime. Great editing and directing. Strong, Coon, and Brown are all great. The film's a bit underwhelming in its familiarity, but it's fantastically executed. Dan Gilroy’s direction is really good. 8.75/10

[SLAM!]

 

What's this?

 

 

The scallions are dancing in and shifting my plans around! Oh no! Someone call Larry-Boy!

 

Okay, the scallions are gone... But now my Top 25 is going to be posted before the spotlights and reviews for November and December! What will become of me? What will become of my Top 25? Find out on either Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday!

[SLAM!]

So while I'm in line for Starbucks, I'll take a moment to confirm that, yes, my Top 25 is coming today. (WOOT WOOT.)

 

I have a "guess the films" preliminary game in mind and the winner will receive a pre-read prize, so if you want to want to guarantee that a film of mine comes out in Y9, this is the game to win.

 

What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna parse through the emojis that are based on fruits and vegetables, and I'm attributing one fruit/veggie emoji to each of the films in my top 25, and you have to guess which emoji pairs with which film. So you get the emoji and the list number that the emoji's film represents, and that's all you'll get as far as clues. I thought this would be clever because my review thread already has the VeggieTales theme going for it.

 

I'll get to work posting the emojis soon. In the meantime, I look forward to posting the emojis as well as my top 25 as the day inches closer to the night. Thank you all! 

Edited May 9, 2021 by SLAM!

[SLAM!]

I have decided that I am dissatisfied with the selection of fruit/veggie emojis on the website, so I will instead simply type the word version of that fruit or veggie.

 

I have also decided to give three hints.

 

#1: I do not have any of my own films in my Top 5. The numbers that my films have taken are #7, #11, #15, #19, and #23.

 

#2: A film that scored 8.75 managed to place higher than a few of the films that scored 9. A reviewed film that scored an 8, a so-far unreviewed film that scored an 8, and a film that scored a 7 managed to get on the list over films that scored an 8.25.

 

#3: Orange would not be used to signify Pokemon: Orange Outrage, and Pumpkin and/or Olive would not be used to signify Olive's Hallowed Eve. Those would be too easy--and maybe they aren't even on the list to begin with...

 

Every correct pairing of film and number gives the guesser one point. That is the only way to earn points. Highest point count wins.

 

1 || Squash

2 || Corn

3 || Pear

4 || Lettuce

5 || Banana

6 || Blackberry

7 || Onion

8 || Avacado

9 || Carrot

10 || Lime

11 || Pineapple

12 || Mango

13 || Blueberry

14 || Asparagus

15 || Cranberry

16 || Celery

17 || Canteloupe

18 || Lemon

19 || Grapes

20 || Pomegranate

21 || Watermelon

22 || Peas

23 || Tomato

24 || Apple

25 || Orange

 

Guesses due by 9:59 PM EST.

Top 25 reveal begins 10:00 PM EST.

Edited May 9, 2021 by SLAM!

[Ethan Hunt]

Spoiler

	Fruit	film
1	Squash	World of Trouble
2	Corn	Learning to Care
3	Pear	The Bronx is Burning
4	Lettuce	The Boy in the Iceberg
5	Bananna	Heartman
6	Blackberry	Returning From Hell
7	Onion	Christmas Shopping
8	Avacado	Olive
9	Carrot	Pokemon
10	Lime	The Idiots
11	Pineapple	Trhe World We Knew
12	Mango	SandBoy
13	Blueberry	Floodbath
14	Asparagus	Squirl Girl
15	Cranberry	New Tricks
16	Celery	Dirty Hands
17	Cantelope	Flightless Bird
18	Lemons	Static Shock
19	Grapes	Everything I Never Told You
20	Pomegrante	Farcry
21	Watermelon	Atlantis: The Lost Empire
22	Peas	Romance Road
23	Tomatoe	The Gnashing
24	Apple	Sins of their Fathers
25	Orange	Everything We Miss

This is what i got lol

[YM!]

1 || Squash - World of Trouble

2 || Corn - The Bronx is Burning

3 || Pear - Everything We Miss

4 || Lettuce - Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Boy in The Iceberg 

5 || Banana - The Un-Title-Able Squirrel Girl Sequel 

6 || Blackberry - Dreams

7 || Onion - Everything I Never Told You

8 || Avocado - Olive’s Hallowed Eve

9 || Carrot - Sins of The Father

10 || Lime - Learning to Care

11 || Pineapple - New Tricks

12 || Mango - Far Cry

13 || Blueberry - Sandboy

14 || Asparagus - Heartman

15 || Cranberry - Christmas Shopping

16 || Celery - Static Shock: Frozen Summer

17 || Canteloupe - Mass Effect Retaliation 

18 || Lemon - Floodbath

19 || Grapes - The World That We Knew

20 || Pomegranate - Dirty Hands

21 || Watermelon - Romance Road

22 || Peas - The Space Between Trees

23 || Tomato - Citizen Kale

24 || Apple - The Wild Thornberrys 

25 || Orange - Mighty Fall

 

[SLAM!]

Welcome to

SLAM'S TOP 25!

 

So I'll be going through my list from 25 to 1, and I will provide context for why I chose the specific fruit/veggie that I did for the film, but also provide some commentary for my specific films as well as what I liked about a film.

 

I'm going to start with honorable mentions. Every game year I've played so far, there's been more than 25 films that deserve to be in my Top 25, and especially giving myself five slots, I know going in that some good ones will be left out. Just saying now, I decided to favor original/standalone films as far as the pool of films that were fighting for the last slots, so this honorable mention field will be blockbuster-heavy--though I really liked all of the films that are in this list.

 

In alphabetical order:

 

Honorable Mention #1

Spoiler

CASTAWAYS

 

I'll elaborate more in the review, but I think this is a step up in scope and worldbuilding for Horizon Entertainment, and I'm excited to see what's next! The spoiler at the end suggests exciting things to come!

 

Honorable Mention #2

Spoiler

FRANKENSTEIN JR.

 

It's not as thoroughly written as other films, but I'd say this is one of my favorite animated films of the year. Will Forte has a great voice role and I can definitely see the vision that was there.

 

Honorable Mention #3

Spoiler

MASS EFFECT: REVELATION

 

A great blockbuster that builds a foundation for the franchise's future. Great cast additions and a great sense of scale!

 

Honorable Mention #4

Spoiler

ENDLESS ANIMATION'S THE UNTITLABLE SQUIRREL GIRL SEQUEL

 

I'll elaborate more in the review, but this is one of my favorite animated films of the year!

 

Honorable Mention #5

Spoiler

WALKING WITH DINOSAURS: THE CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE

 

Absolutely stunning sense of scope and scale on this documentary, though the small budget held it back a bit.

 

Honorable Mention #6

Spoiler

THE WILD THORNBERRYS

 

I'm rubbing my hands together wanting there to be a sequel because this was a very fun crowd-pleasing adventure romp!

 

[SLAM!]

Let's get started with #25-#21.

 

#25

Spoiler

HOLLAND HANNAH

 

I know I wasn't the biggest on this one, but after seeing higher scores than I gave it, I liked the idea that I was underscoring it. There's a film here, and if it succeeds beyond my expectations, I'll be very happy about that.

 

Orange signified Holland Hannah because oranges are a common fruit in the Netherlands.

 

#24

Spoiler

SINS OF THEIR FATHERS

 

I'll elaborate more in the review but I appreciate the philosophical and nail-biting vibes of the film and I think it tells a good story.

 

Apple signified Sins of their Fathers because the apple is commonly used as the symbol of the fruit that Adam and Eve ate from the tree of life.

 

#23

Spoiler

THE GNASHING

 

This is a very cheesy film looking back on it, but I practiced basic story structure with this while also creating some kooky characters, and I made a horror story that works--so I view it to be a success.

 

Tomato signified The Gnashing because pizza and spaghetti were featured in the film and tomato sauce is used on those dishes.

 

#22

Spoiler

ROMANCE ROAD
 

A sumptuous romantic comedy with two great leads and a story that works. I loved it!

 

Peas siginifed Romance Road because Malcolm and Amelia are two peas in a pod.

 

#21

Spoiler

SANDBOY

 

An instantly lovable film! Drama that pierces the audience and is made more real by the execution.

 

Watermelon signified Sandboy because the family was on the beach and watermelon is a Summer food that's great to eat on the beach.

 

[SLAM!]

Continuing with #20-#16.

 

#20

Spoiler

RETURNING FROM HELL
 

I'll elaborate more in the review, but this film has a very engaging story that I believe was well-executed.

 

Pomegranate signified Returning from Hell because in Greek mythology, Hades force-fed Persephone pomegranate before sending her back to the world of the living.

 

#19

Spoiler

THE WORLD THAT WE KNEW
 

I really loved the book and I thought that I honored the book with my adaptation, though I admit I should learn to make necessary edits with adaptations such as this.

 

Grapes signified The World That We Knew because I think France is famous for its wine? I think? I'm not sure...

 

#18

Spoiler

THE IDIOTS

 

This was a thorough documentary that has a lot to offer the audience. Very well done!

 

Lemon signified The Idiots because 'idiots' and 'suckers' are two terms that can go hand and hand at times, and there was a Radiohead lyric that went like, "yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon."

 

#17

Spoiler

STATIC SHOCK: FROZEN SUMMER

A great superhero film with an important message! One of my favorite superhero films!

 

Canteloupe signified Static Shock: Frozen Summer because that's a Summer fruit.

 

#16

Spoiler

DIRTY HANDS
 

A solid crime thriller with great performances and an engaging story!

 

Celery signified Dirty Hands because celery is a common side dish for buffalo wings, and when you eat buffalo wings, you have 'dirty hands.'

 

[SLAM!]

I will start posting one at a time...

 

#15

Spoiler

Spoiler

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

 

This was loosely based on a personal story of a day in my life, and I'm really happy with how this film turned out. It's glorified Hallmark stuff, but it's a story that works imo.

 

Cranberry signified Christmas Shopping because it's a food that is commonly served around the holidays.

 

Edited May 10, 2021 by SLAM!

[SLAM!]

#14

Spoiler

THE SPACE BETWEEN TREES
 

I really admire this film as a mood piece. Great performances, a great musical score, and dedicated direction.

 

Asparagus signified The Space Between Trees because asparagus kind of looks like a tree, but it's slim, so if it were a tree, you'd be thinking about the space between the trees.

 

[SLAM!]

#13

Spoiler

POKEMON: THE CASE OF THE ORANGE OUTRAGE
 

I have a soft spot for anything Pokemon and I think this film told a great Pokemon story! Thanks for giving Tracey a big role!

 

Blueberry signified Pokemon: The Case of the Orange Outrage because there's a berry in the pokemon games that's basically modeled after a blueberry, so I thought it made sense.

 

[SLAM!]

#12

Spoiler

FAR CRY
 

Action with a beating heart and an acknowledgement of dread and terror. This will likely be a huge commercial hit.

 

Mango signified Far Cry because it's a tropical fruit and this film had a tropical setting.

 

[SLAM!]

#11

Spoiler

NEW TRICKS

 

There's a few problems with this film that reviewers have pointed out, and I do think this film could have benefited from a critical read-through. I think the lessons learned from basically posting draft one (something I do with basically every film) will be important for me later on not just in Cayom but in life. But I'm very happy that I wrote this. I had this idea even before Covid-19 put us in quarantine! So yeah, I thought this was important for me to write, and no matter what other people think of it, I'm just glad I wrote it.

 

Pineapple signified New Tricks because apparently pineapple is a great food to feed to a dog.

 

[SLAM!]

#10

Spoiler

HEARTMAN

 

A great idea for a horror film, and I can see the horror influences working in the story's favor. Delightful horror film.

 

Lime signified Heartman because a fruit that looks similar to lime (in regard to the exterior) is the national fruit of Barbados.

 

[SLAM!]

#9

Spoiler

OLIVE'S HALLOWED EVE

 

Halloween films aren't as common as Christmas films, so I'm glad that this was written. It has a pure spirit and it's just very heartwarming and wholesome.

 

Carrot signified Olive's Hallowed Eve because carrots have that green/orange color palette going on, and that's a common color palette for depictions of Halloween.