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Crunching the Numbers: Crazy Eights

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#4

 

"This airplane is designed by clowns, who in turn are supervised by monkeys. I'll be shocked if the FAA passes this turd."

 

"Now friggin Lion Air might need a sim to fly the MAX, and maybe because of their own stupidity, I'm scrambling trying to figure out how to unscrew this now! Idiots."

 

 

Flightless Bird: The Downfall of the Boeing 737 MAX

 

 

Game Score Update

 

Spoiler

Spaghetti- 18
Your Mother- 18
McKillswitch- 17
Cookie- 15
Slam- 15
Rory- 11
Ethan- 7


 

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#3

 

 

“The boss has already made the arrangements. The Yankees have their new rightfielder.”

 

“I don’t give a shit if you fire me, but you’re not going to come in here and tell me what to do in front of my players.”

 

“Jesus the city’s gonna fucking bury this guy. And it’s gonna sell us a boatload of magazines.”

 

"Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to, old man? Don’t ever pull that shit on me again motherfucker."

 

“Win the World Series and we’ll see. If you don’t, I’ll find a manager who will.”

 

 

The Bronx is Burning

 

 

Game Score Update

 

Spoiler

Spaghetti- 21
Your Mother- 21
Cookie- 18
McKillswitch- 18
Slam- 16
Rory- 14
Ethan- 10


 

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#2

 

THE SPACE BETWEEN TREES

 

 

 

#1

 

EVERYTHING WE MISS

 

 

 

Final Game Score

 

Your Mother- 24
Spaghetti- 22
Cookie- 20
McKillswitch- 20
Slam- 18
Rory- 16
Ethan- 11
 

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Grades (tied films are listed alphabetically)

 

Spoiler

Everything We Miss- 9.2/10
Flightless Bird: The Downfall of the Boeing 737 MAX- 9.0/10
The Space Between Trees- 9.0/10
Everything I Never Told You- 8.7/10
Sandboy- 8.7/10
The Untitleable Squirrel-Girl Sequel- 8.5/10
Holland Hannah- 8.3/10
Olive’s Hallowed Eve- 8.1/10
Returning from Hell- 8.0/10
Up in the Sky- 7.9/10
Learning to Care- 7.8/10
Walking with Dinosaurs: The Cinematic Experience- 7.7/10
Funny Business- 7.6/10
The Last Airbender: The Boy in the Iceberg- 7.5/10
Mighty Fall- 7.5/10
The War Between Ants- 7.4/10
The World That We Knew- 7.3/10
Dreams- 7.2/10
Static Shock: Frozen Summer- 7.2/10
Heartman- 7.1/10
Eminem-Esque- 7.0/10
Floodbath- 7.0/10
The Lost Empire- 7.0/10
Romance Road- 6.9/10
The Gnashing- 6.8/10
The Wild Thornberrys- 6.8/10
Castaways- 6.7/10
The Million Dollar Jacket- 6.7/10
Kings of the 6- 6.6/10
Frankenstein Jr.- 6.5/10
Panzer Dragoon- 6.5/10
Christmas Shopping- 6.4/10
Snow Monkeys- 6.3/10
Bailey Buckets: A Hoops Story- 6.2/10
MEG- 6.2/10
The Outback- 6.2/10
Soar- 6.2/10
Dealer’s Choice- 6.1/10
New Tricks- 6.0/10
Out of Order: The Decline of the Arcade- 6.0/10
Fullmetal Alchemist: A Tale of Two Brothers- 5.9/10
As Fast as I Can- 5.8/10
Recompense- 5.8/10
Green Arrow: The Ninth Circle- 5.7/10
Tyler Perry’s 2 Big Families- 5.7/10
The Insect God- 5.6/10
Citizen Kale: a VeggieTales Movie- 5.5/10
Far Cry- 5.5/10
The Wave Heist 5.4/10
A Very Adam and Cindy Valentine- 5.3/10
No Mercy- 5.2/10
The Tale of a Guinea Pig- 5.1/10
Dave Day- 5/10
Loving Shadow and Light- 5/10
Rhino Riders 2- 5/10
Christie Monteiro- 4.8/10
Wii Fit- 4.8/10
Animal Crossing- 4.6/10
Doc Dreams- 4.5/10
Gunman Clive- 4.4/10
Wet Willy- 4.2/10
Home Invasion: Part III – Hunted- 4.0/10
Meme Th(II)evies- 4.0/10
Splash Splat Boom- 3.6/10
Monster Bug Wars Cash Grabs- 3.4/10
White Wyvern- 3.0/10
The Three Caballeros Ride Again- 1.0/10


 

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Congrats to @cookie for taking #1 of the year and congrats to @YourMother the Edgelord for winning the Game! You have both earned a pre-read for a Year 9 film. You can choose the same film if you wish.

 

Your Options Are (in planned release order):

 

 

UNTITLED FANTASY IP STARTER

 

Directed By: Jeff Woolnough (Vikings, The Expanse)

 

The first film in a new fantasy IP by Numerator Pictures, set in a world where technological development stalled as a result of the proliferation of magic, and where spiritual avatars of magical schools visit practitioners to provide advice and observation. With the world bitterly divided between nations and factions with their own agendas, a spark is ignited when a street urchin thief turned magical apprentice steals an old book that soon places him on the run for his life.

 

Casting for the film is mostly complete, and features Ashton Sanders, Jessie Mei Li, Harris Dickinson, Devon Terrell, Odeya Rush, Jared Harris, Mark Lewis Jones, Scott Adkins, and Rosamund Pike 

 

 

 

DUST TO DUST

 

Directed by Stephen Williams (Watchmen)

 

Loosely Adapted From “A Town Has Turned to Dust” by Rod Serling

 

Set in the aftermath of World War 1, the film follows an African-American family, specifically a teenage girl, in a small town in Central Texas. After a dubious criminal allegation results in a tragedy for the family, the family must withstand both external and internal pressures and conflicts, as a series of strange events starts to befall their town and stir up social unrest.

 

Casting for this film has not yet begun.

 

 

 

THE HARD WAY FORWARD

 

Directed by: Rick Famuyiwa (Dope, The Mandalorian)

 

The sequel to Year 7's The Long Way Home picks up several months after the events of the first film, with the crew of the Peregrine becoming icons of the burgeoning resistance against the Congregation. As the crew of the Peregrine puts into motion a plan to rescue the human colonists abducted by the Congregation at the start of the first film, they find themselves prey to a hunt targeting them, led by one of the Congregation's most dangerous agents.

 

Casting for new roles is underway, and most of the cast of the first film returns.

 

 

 

HEREMIAS

 

Directed by: Brenda Chapman (Brave)

 

The sequel to Year 5's Sylvarius takes place 5 years later, with the main characters of the first film mostly happy, though with the relationship between Selena and Marcus undergoing strains as Marcus is forced to take on more responsibilities as his father's health fails, and as he tries to fully unlock his potential as a descendant of a forest guardian. When a diplomatic embassy brings news of a conflict between a neighboring city-state and the desert guardian Heremias, Marcus sees a chance to advance his belief of peace between man and nature, and to learn more about himself.

 

Most of the cast of the first film returns, and new cast members include Ashly Burch,  Sumalee Montano, Aimee Carrero, Ian Alexander, with Mae Whitman, and Sam Witwer 

 

 

 

RED DEAD REDEMPTION VOLUME 1

 

Directed by: Taylor Sheridan (Wind River, Those Who Wish Me Dead)

 

The first of two films adapting the video game Red Dead Redemption 2, the film follows a tight-knit gang of outlaws whose latest job was botched, resulting in deaths and forcing the gang to shelter in the harsh wilderness. Struggling to survive, the gang decides to pull off a series of final jobs to raise enough money to leave their pasts behind, only to find trouble when their heists bring them into contention with a powerful adversary.

 

Casting is complete, and features Chris Pine,  Boyd Holbrook, Glen Powell, Keri Russell,  Diego Luna, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Imelda Staunton, with Don Johnson, with Tim Blake Nelson, and Shea Whigham

 

 

 

HOMECOMING

 

Directed by Johan Renck (Chernobyl)

 

Loosely Adapted from Jack's Return Home by Ted Lewis

 

The first in an anthology of films set in a futuristic America where crime has skyrocketed and political control over megalopolises and the countryside has evaporated. This film follows a skilled hitman who, upon learning of the death of his brother, returns home to a global warming flooded Miami for the funeral, and soon uncovers evidence that the death was not innocent, and that it may have been connected to some criminal dealings, leading him into a violent investigation that stirs up a lot of trouble.

 

Casting is mostly complete, and includes Oscar Isaac, Ana de Armas, Alice Braga, Yul Vazquez, Wagner Moura, Genesis Rodriguez, José Zúñiga
 

 

 

 

@Blankments I technically still owe you a pre-read for Here Nor There. You can choose to keep that pre-read, or you can change to one of the films listed above

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