Rorschach Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 (edited) Spoiler The Top 25 countdown begins tomorrow. Edited November 7, 2022 by Rorschach 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reddroast Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 Oh boy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLAM! Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 8, 2022 Author Share Posted November 8, 2022 Before we dive into the Top 25 proper, let's take a brief detour and talk about the films that were not quite the sum of their parts. The Top 10 Worst Films of Y9 10. Spoiler Sleepy Hollow Definitely not as bad as some other films that I left off the list, but this handily takes the crown for the most disappointing film of the year. As a fan of the source material and the animated Disney/live-action Burton adaptations, Henry Selick and Jordan Peele's newest adaptation is a confounding take on Washington Irving's gothic tale that utilizes the setting and characters in a rather uninspired way that is borderline false advertising. I'm not sure what the thought process was here, but it was absolutely the wrong way to go about updating a classic story for the modern age. 9. Spoiler Death is Not My Friend A lifetime channel original film disguised as an "elevated" horror film, if it can even be called that. This falls victim to some of the same issues that plagued Y8's Returning From Hell, namely the chronological order structure and bizarrely cheap-looking de-aging effects, except said issues stick out even more like a sore thumb here. A peak case of poorly executed melodrama. 8. Spoiler Fore! A five-minute short YouTube sketch inexplicably stretched out into a feature-length film. 7. Spoiler Father III: All Hell Breaks Loose These filmmakers need some Jesus in their lives. 6. Spoiler The Man of the Jungle The animated Tarzan is one of my favorite Disney films, which makes this uninspired, sloppy remake hurt all the more. Most baffling of all, the added racism angle registers as hollow (and slightly problematic) because the film is more concerned with lazily rehashing the original's plot beats rather than forging a path of its own to properly explore this added element. Just a completely empty void of a film. 5. Spoiler Someone's Grace Much love and respect to Slam's friend for sharing this with us, there was clearly a lot of thought and effort put into the writing of this. However, simply put, this just was not my thing whatsoever. I think Numbers hit the hammer on the nail with his comment about the framing device – choosing to use the mother as the POV vehicle was probably the film's biggest mistake on a base structural level when the daughter has the far more compelling narrative of anyone in the story. I also just could not get past the novella format, even with an adjusted mindset. Sorry 😕 4. Spoiler Whinge and Cringe Mostly just cringe. 3. Spoiler Guinea Pigger It's bigger, it's badder, and it's the cinematic equivalent of fecal matter! 2. Spoiler Fatal Error I dunno, go watch Pulse (2001, dir. Kiyoshi Kurosawa) instead. 1. Spoiler Socksucker I have no meaningful bouts of critical wisdom to bestow here, this film was just fucking nasty. The Top 25 will commence when I get home from work tonight. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 25. Spoiler Deep Sixed Yeah, I had fun with this one. It's about as bare-bones an action film as you can get, but with Neeson and Statham starring, you're at least guaranteed a decently enjoyable time. 24. Spoiler Mechamen A decently fun blockbuster in the most mindless sense possible. 23. Spoiler Invader Zim Having absolutely no familiarity with the original cartoon, aside from the basic premise, this was basically my first real exposure to this series, and it makes a decent first impression. Very curious to check out the actual cartoon now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 22. Spoiler Martian Manhunter Pretty generic for the most part, but Lance Reddick and Rose Byrne do enough heavy lifting to make this a mildly compelling superhero joint. 21. Spoiler Devil Bean One of the few Cayom films that'll make you question whether or not slipped you some drugs before you started reading it. Certainly quite the fever dream of an experience. 20. Spoiler Tongue Tied A bit of shameless self-plugging on my part, since I play the main character, after all. Thank you to Armando Iannucci and Studio Groundswell for helping me keep food on my plate! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 19. Spoiler Aeromobil: The Future is Now Tsk, tsk, silly filmmakers. How can the future be the now if the now is the present? That just makes no sense . 18. Spoiler The War on Drugs: America's Modern Conflict Pretty informative little doc. 17. Spoiler Winner Takes All Okay, I've completely changed my tune on this franchise, this kinda sorta rules lol. Don't @ me. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 16. Spoiler The Next Good Day A solid, intimate little drama film with some compelling performances at its center, though it has not really stuck with me three months after reading it. 15. Spoiler The Boy Who Hated Books I know this one is slightly divisive, but I actually quite enjoyed this one in a wax nostalgic kinda way – like a long-forgotten children's book that I'd vaguely remember reading in elementary school, then getting an Antoine Ego flashback moment as an adult seeing the trailer for a live-action adaptation and having all those memories come flooding back all at once. Pretty specific, I know, but that's probably the best way I could describe why this worked for me as well as it did. 14. Spoiler Runaway Train Admittedly, I'm not as high on this as some others. It might just be my growing indifference toward the biopic genre in recent years, but parts of this kinda read like a Wikipedia article, to be honest. Still, the subject matter is intriguing enough, and the talented main ensemble of actors does a lot of the heavy lifting here. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 13. Spoiler Vixen and the Castle of Doom A neat little expansion on the first entry. Really dig the animation style here. 12. Spoiler Red Rabbit My boy Steve Harrington becoming a full-fledged action star? Sign me the fuck up. 11. Spoiler Among Us Wasn't expecting this one to make it super high in my rankings, but here we are! I had a good amount of fun with this one; it's definitely one of the more interesting video game adaptations in recent memory. It has a pretty killer hook and mostly delivers on it, though I do wish it could've gone the extra mile into R-rated territory in true James Gunn spirit. Not an amazing experience, but certainly a memorable one. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 10. Spoiler Kirby and the King's Caper *POV: Your unfortunate self is about to be sucked up into the void of Kirby's stomach.* 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reddroast Posted November 9, 2022 Share Posted November 9, 2022 1 minute ago, Rorschach said: 10. Spoiler Hide contents Kirby and the King's Caper *POV: Your unfortunate self is about to be sucked up into the void of Kirby's stomach.* Lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 9. Spoiler Land of the Crescent Despite the short runtime and occasional stalling in the pacing, this tight and light action epic makes up for it with an appropriately large scope and beautiful imagery that's irresistible to look away from. And no, I'm not just talking about the landscapes when I say that 👀. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 8. Spoiler Matilda and the Night Children I've been very up and down with Endless Animation's output as of recently, but I'll admit, they still put out pretty solid outings every now and then, which is the case for this year's Matilda. Granted, I'm not as high on this as some others, but it's definitely got a decent wealth of creativity and heart in it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 7. Spoiler American Spy A pretty compelling romantic spy thriller with Jurnee Smollett's strong lead performance anchoring the ship. The film falters slightly in regard to its other supporting characters, but it still retains a good focus on its strongest aspect. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 6. Spoiler Heremias Part of me really regrets not re-reading Sylvarius before going into this one to refresh myself. Definitely need to remember to do that before I do my eventual Top 100 Cayom films list. Anyways, this sequel is a pretty solid outing on its own merits. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 5. Spoiler Warmth Nothing is quite as warm and cozy as two old men having a cinematic therapy session about the heinous acts they committed in their younger years! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 4. Spoiler The Mirage A very weird neo-western horror B-film that feels like it was plucked out of the 70s and released in our modern day. The result is an odd but very memorable picture and a fun thrill ride. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 3. Spoiler Acne An effective body horror flick that's sure to get under the skin of just about anyone, especially someone like me who suffered extremely bad acne in my teens. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 2. Spoiler The Queen Who Never Was I've never watched Game of Thrones, but a major reason why I started watching the recent Hot D was that I knew this prelude would give a lot of context and background for the events of that series. And since I was going to eventually read this anyways, I figured it was as good enough of an excuse to finally jump into this franchise, and I have to say, I'm glad I did! This is an intricately woven, complex tale spanning decades of events that is simultaneously overwhelming to keep up with, but never not engaging. Best of all, it boasts an incredible ensemble of solid performances from just about every party, with Samara Weaving, Jessie Buckley, and Kenneth Branagh as particular stand-outs. From this film alone, it's easy to see why this epic fantasy series managed to become as big as it did (before its unfortunate decline in its twilight seasons). A truly epic experience. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorschach Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 (edited) 1. Spoiler Spoiler The Crummy Shindig Surprised? Well, so was I, lol. Though this is by no means the best-made or most well-written film to come from this year, The Crummy Shindig is just such an unapologetically infectious bundle of positivity and joy that I found it simply irresistible. Its message about ambition and working within your situational limitations to create the best art you can kind of resonated with me, given my current life predicament. And even though this was released so early in the year, this little-engine-that-could of a musical somehow stick in my brain to the very end. Believe me, it was tough deciding between this and Queen which would take my top spot. If you ask me tomorrow if the positions would remain the same, I might have a different answer. Ultimately, right now, going with my gut feeling, it's this one. Edited November 9, 2022 by Rorschach 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
