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Blankments' Review Thread

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Well, if Tyler Perry does ever decide to make a Madea Goes to Hell, I'll be sure to give it 10/10.

Well there's Madea goes to Jail.... It's not quite Hell, but close enough. :lol:
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July

4-7 July:

The Walker Chronicles: 4/10

The Walker Chronicles has some fantastic action and a great as always performance by Bryan Cranston. However, there doesn’t seem to be much of a plot, which makes this film very skippable.

12-14 July:

Chaperones: 3/10

Chaperones is an okay film lifted by the two lead cast members, who keep up their great chemistry from previous films. Script is terrible though, which even Carell and Fey can’t save.

The Dead in the House: 5/10

The Dead in the House is in the middle of the road of being a drama or horror, and thus, is in the middle of all film quality.

19-21 July:

8AM: 7/10

8AM is a fun action movie with great chemistry between the two leads. The 3D was interesting implemented. The action is great, although it drags occasionally. I just have to ask why the post credits scene? Without it, this would’ve easily got an 8 or 8.5. As it is, the film is still good, but very anticlimatic. Also, this is a really long status.

Avatar: The Last Airbender - Water: 7.5/10

Avatar: The Last Airbender – Water is a good film with a lot of great acting. Although it is sometimes hard to understand, the film overall wins fans and nonfans over with the tight script and fun action scenes. However, it does feel like LotR lite too often.

26-28 July:

A Wrinkle in Time: 8/10

Although I have never read the book, A Wrinkle in Time is an engaging film that will probably become the sleeper hit of the summer. The three leads are great, and the story is classic.

Broken Earth: 2/10

Broken Earth is terrible in every way imaginable. However, Alec Baldwin is pretty neat.

Monthly Ranking

1. A Wrinkle in Time

2. Avatar: The Last Airbender – Water

3. 8AM

4. The Dead in the House

5. The Walker Chronicles

6. Chaperones

7. Broken Earth

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The Dead in the House: 5/10

The Dead in the House is in the middle of the road of being a drama or horror, and thus, is in the middle of all film quality.

Glad I'm not the only person who had this opinion. :lol:
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August:

2-4 August:

Fable: 8.5/10

Fable is the first great fantasy in a long time, and a great way to kick off the month. Best video game movie yet.

9-11 August:

Vampires of Moscow: 6/10

Vampires of Moscow has a terrible script and terrible effects. However, it has one thing that makes it above average: NPH.

Into the Breach: 9/10

Into the Breach is a fantastic biopic, with a fascinating subject matter. Melissa Leo can count on another Oscar for her spectacular performance.

16-18 August:

The Pink Panther the Movie: 3.5/10

The Pink Panther is just a ridiculously niche film that doesn’t touch the original cartoons. This film will fail at the box office for sure, and we can all be happy about it.

Truth and Love: 5/10

Truth and Love is truely boring and finds love in being average.

1910: 2.5/10

1910 is stupid, cliché, and thinks creativity comes from transplanting a sitcom’s plotline into a new time era.

23-25 August:

Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. The Loch Ness Monster: 8.5/10

Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. The Loch Ness Monster is a great satire of Hollywood, filled with great action and surprisingly good effects for its low budget. Clark Gregg should ditch acting and go to directing full-time.

River of Death: 8/10

Although the acting is sometimes cringe worthy, the overall plot and thrills of the movie are so great that River of Death can be considered a great mystery.

El Libertador: 9/10

El Libertador has Best Foreign Film locked. Great acting, great cinematography, great everything. Such a good film.

30 August – 2 September:

Lizards: 1/10

Lizards feels like deleted scenes from a Spider-Man movie. There’s a reason they were deleted.

Monthly Rankings

1. Into the Breach

2. El Libertador

3. Fable

4. Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. the Loch Ness Monster

5. River of Death

6. Vampires of Moscow

7. Truth and Love

8. The Pink Panther the Movie

9. 1910

10. Lizards

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September:

6-8 September:

The Drowsy Chaperone: 8/10

The Drowsy Chaperone was a fun musical with catchy songs. Sacha Baron Cohen is a highlight.

13-15 September:

The Ice Bridge: 5.5/10

Ridley Scott’s direction barely saves it, but The Ice Bridge is ruined by a generic plotline, poor acting, and the bizarre decision of making the film with a dead language.

Invasion of the Plant Men: 7/10

Invasion of the Plant Men is a hilarious comedy spoof. However, Jason Segel is completely unconvincing in the action scenes, which brings down the film.

20-22 September:

The Poet: 6/10

The Poet is an forgettable filler, but Norton makes it worth renting on DVD in a few months.

Adventures of the Squid: 2/10

Adventures of the Squid is the second worst animation of the year. Not even the terrific vocal cast could save this generic trainwreck.

Bigfoot: 0/10

Bigfoot: why couldn’t have Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson been in this movie?

28-29 September:

The Summer Story: 9/10

The Summer Story is a great film that feels more like an Aronofsky film than a Nolan film. Although the language was definitely excessive, the lead hits the role out of the park and the atmosphere is fantastic.

The 13th Night III: The Masked Man Revealed: 0.5/10

If this is the third 13th Night... wouldn’t it be the 39th night? Oh, well, still a terrible movie.

Monthly Ranking

1. The Summer Story

2. The Drowsy Chaperone

3. Invasion of the Plant Men

4. The Poet

5. The Ice Bridge

6. Adventures of the Squid

7. The 13th Night III: The Masked Man Revealed

8. Bigfoot

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October:

4-6 October:

Z-Day: 6/10

Z-Day Terrible story and terrible acting, but great visuals and a great title make the movie barely above average.

Go-Go Girls: 2/10

Go-Go Girls is the worst excuse for Team Jacob fangirling I’ve ever seen. Which isn’t really saying a lot, but still...

A Million Little Pieces: 7.5/10

A Million Little Pieces is disappointing for a Scorsese movie, but is still pretty good. Worth seeing just for Daniel Day-Lewis.

11-13 October:

Fatal Rendezvous: 8.5/10

Fatal Rendezvous has a great script, awesome action, and one of the best ensembles of the year. Really good.

Gregor the Overlander: 8/10

Gregor the Overlander is a great start for a franchise with great acting and a fun script. The sequel needs a budget increase though.

18-20 October:

Red Skin: 8/10

Red Skin is a great western with the return of Clint Eastwood, but I couldn’t be left a feeling of being underwhelmed. Still worth seeing though.

25-27 October:

Silence!: 0/10

Silence! should be a silent movie. Actually, it might be better as just an exposed piece of film.

Monthly Rankings

1. Fatal Rendezvous

2. Red Skin

3. Gregor the Overlander

4. A Million Little Pieces

5. Z-Day

6. Go-Go Girls

7. Silence!

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November:

1-3 November:

Bartimaeus and the Golem’s Eye: 6.5/10

Bartimaeus and the Golem’s Eye is beautifully shot with some fantastic visual effects, but I found the story lacking and the acting poor at times.

Small Town Store: 7/10

Small Town Store is a little generic but still pretty funny, and what more can you ask from a comedy?

Election 2000: 6/10

Election 2000 is a decent documentary but overall, pretty boring.

Jennifer: The Untold Story of My Life: 4/10

Jennifer: The Untold Story of My Life is overlong, overwrought, over-indulging.

8-10 November:

Frosty the Snowman: 5/10

Frosty the Snowman doesn’t do anything wrong, but why would you want to see this when the perfectly good one airs every Christmas?

La Follia di Gesualdo: 8/10

La Follia di Gesualdo is a fine film plagued with bad acting by everyone except the lead. Definitely worth seeing though, since every other aspect of the film is superb.

Black as Night: 9.5/10

Black as Night is a fantastic film, with great performances, a tight script, and phenomenal cinematography. Go see this.

15-17 November:

Red Rabbit: 7.5/10

Red Rabbit is a nice spy thriller that is just exceptional. I believe there’s stuff in the film though that could make a really fantastic sequel, so I hope it does well.

Assassins: 6/10

Assassins has a fun ensemble and a great direction by Edgar Wright, but Wright didn’t write the script, and it shows in the film. There’s also only one scene that really takes advantage of the IMAX format, so you should skip that part.

22-24 November:

CHERUB 1.0: 7/10

CHERUB 1.0 has some great action, but needs a more compelling execution of the story to become a great film.

Fifty Shades of Gray: 0/10

Fifty Shades of Gray: The ideal way to see this is see Go-Go Girls right before it for maximum Twilight effect.

27 November – 1 December:

Planeswalkers: A New World: 6/10

Planeswalkers: A New World is a great setup, but a terrible film. The cast makes it worth it, and I do hope Whedon does a better film next time or he just ditches this franchise.

The Bride, The Groom, and The Priest: 8/10

Bride, Groom, and Priest is a fun comedy, and really funny. However, Adam Sandler is annoying and prevents the movie being truly hilarious.

Thane of the Flies: 8/10

Thane of the Flies takes a bizarre concept and makes it work extremely well, mostly due the fantastic direction of Branagh and the sure-to-be nominated performance by Oldman.

Love in Poitiers: 8/10

Love in Poitiers is an average biopic lifted by Glenn Close and Meryl Streep to make it something really special.

Monthly Ranking

1. Black as Night

2. Love in Poiters

3. Thane of the Flies

4. The Bride, The Groom, and The Priest

5. La Follia di Gesualdo

6. Red Rabbit

7. Small Town Store

8. CHERUB 1.0

9. Bartimaeus and the Golem’s Eye

10. Assassins

11. Planeswalkers: A New World

12. Election 2000

13. Frosty the Snowman

14. Jennifer: The Untold Story of My Life

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December:

6-8 December:

Hercule Poirot’s Christmas: 8.5/10

Hercule Poirot’s Christmas is bizarre for a Christmas movie, but ends being a fantastic movie anyway.

13-15 December:

SpellForce – Breath of Winter: 7/10

I never really got into the Spellforce series, but those who liked the previous ones will like the new one.

Leitmotif: 8.5/10

While it does stumble on the story a bit, Leitmotif is saved by the terrific ensemble of actors, the great score, and the winning direction of Steven Soderbergh.

20-22 December:

Dodge City: 9/10

Dodge City gives us another fantastic Coen Brothers’ Western, with great performances, a nice story, and beautiful cinematography.

The Morrow II: 9/10

The Morrow II has amazing visuals, great acting, and phenomenal direction. Cuaron has done it again.

27-29 December:

3-D: 2/10

3-D has good 3-D effects and not much else.

The Time Before That: 8/10

The Time Before That is a great family film. Shawn Levy delivers another fun adventure, filled with the magic needed for the Holiday season.

Monthly Ranking

1. Dodge City

2. The Morrow II

3. Leitmotif

4. Hercule Poirot’s Christmas

5. The Time Before That

6. SpellForce – Breath of Winter

7. 3-D

Month Averages, Part 2

July: 5.2

August: 6.1

September: 4.8

October: 5.7

November: 6.9

December: 7.5

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My top 20 worst films of Year 3.20. The Pink Panther: The Movie19. Barco de Oro18. Chaperones17. Lifeguards16. 1910 15. Broken Earth14. Go-Go Girls13. Adventures of the Squid12. Wall of Water11. The Haunting in Wisconsin10. Jungles9. Lizards8. Carnival7. House on the Hills6. Fifty Shades of Grey5. Bigfoot4. Silence!3. Green Eggs and Ham2. My Winter Retreat 21. 51

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My top 25 list.25. Thane of the Flies24. Love in Poiters23. The Time Before That22. Kill That Director!21. Sam and Max Hit the Road20. Bobby19. Nadia: The Perfect 1018. Chuck Norris and Liam Neeson vs. The Loch Ness Monster17. Hercule Poirot’s Christmas16. Leitmotif15. Fatal Rendezvous14. Blue Heart13. Fable12. Karate Kong11. The Coming Storm10. El Libertador9. The Summer Story8. Divergent7. Into the Breach6. Vault Break5. The Morrow II4. Dodge City3. Prodigy2. Black as Night1. Genesis My top 25 list minus my films.25. Red Skin24. The Bride, The Groom, and the Priest23. Thane of the Flies22. Love in Poiters21. The Time Before That20. Kill That Director!19. Sam and Max Hit the Road18. Bobby17. Nadia: The Perfect 1016. Hercule Poirot’s Christmas15. Fatal Rendezvous14. Blue Heart13. Fable12. Karate Kong11. The Coming Storm10. El Libertador9. The Summer Story8. Divergent7. Into the Breach6. Vault Break5. The Morrow II4. Dodge City3. Prodigy2. Black as Night1. GenesisYeah, I don't believe in suspenseful lists. :P

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Just be glad Ry isn't here he would critisize anyone who put some film he deemed too cheesey in there list over his. (And he did force someone to change the actuals before)

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Just be glad Ry isn't here he would critisize anyone who put some film he deemed too cheesey in there list over his. (And he did force someone to change the actuals before)

But if a cheesy film is better at being cheesy than a serious film is at being serious, then I believe the cheesy film is the better film... And I've been hearing a lot of about Ry around here. He doesn't like cheesiness, and yet he invents the greatest video game movie franchise yet? :P
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Just be glad Ry isn't here he would critisize anyone who put some film he deemed too cheesey in there list over his. (And he did force someone to change the actuals before)

wait, Ry is a guy? :unsure:
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