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CAYOM: Year 4 (Part 1)

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TOMB RAIDER

**Yeah I've basically made up 99% of this origin story...I just took the idea from the Tomb Raider game that will come in 2013 where Lara is stranded in an uncharted island & went along with it. The sequel may be more influenced by some of the games storylines

Director: Gary Ross

Composer: Harry Gregson-WIlliams

Studio: Perseus Films

Cast: Jennifer Lawrence (Lara Croft/Tomb Raider), Jim Carter (Butler) Pierce Brosnan (Leo), Liam Neeson (Luke Croft/Lara’s Father...only his voice is used for the film), Naomi Watts (Ella)

Budget: $100 Million

Theater Count: 425 (IMAX Only week), 3,600 (Wide)

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: September 26-28 (IMAX Only week), October 3-5 (Wide) **IMAX screens remain for Wide week too

Running Time: 109 Min

Plot:

A mansion is seen in the middle of the night, the moon looming over it. We hear running up stairs and a mans voice shouting, “Wake up Lara, wake up.” We see a teenage girl being shaken out of bed. She is rushed down grand stairs when the door bursts open. “Run Lara Run” the man shouts pushing her away towards an old looking butler. The butler (Jim Carter) grabs her hand & the two disappear behind a door. A gunshot is heard then.

*wooosh* Wind is heard & a massive wave slams into the small sailing boat. This wakes up Lara (Jennifer Lawrence), who’s very short of breath. “The same dream?”, she hears her Butler say, she nods. Lara goes up on to the deck of the boat, it’s clear there’s a big storm rolling in as a massive view of the sea swirling is shown.

Lara is given the package by the butler, he tells her she will know when the time is right to open it. Lara places it in her bag. Shortly after the boat is shown to be wrecked by the storm

Lara wakes up on the island with only the her bag and nothing else. Lara recalls massive storm noises and realises that the boat must have been wrecked. Lara realises that she’s hungry and takes some biscuits out of her bag, here she finds the package too. The package contains a survival book, she is shown to be angry at that being the package.

Lara is shown wondering where she is, what happened to the boat and the butler. As night falls she becomes more scared, she quickly flips the manual to the “night-time page” and sees that she should find shelter & a fire to keep her warm. As she’s reciting the voice changes to her fathers so its like he’s talking out of a book. As the father is speaking a montage shows her carrying out the instructions. Before sleeping in the bed she made out of leaves & grass she sees the first page of the manual which says, “Stay strong at heart dearest Lara. Love you always, Daddy”. She sheds a tear as she goes to sleep.

In the morning Lara realises she has been bitten by something on her left thigh, the spot has gone a weird green colour. She scans through the book for something what it indicates. To her horror it’s a slow poisonous bug, luckily there is an antidote...a type if weed that grows in the mountains where rivers are born. The book also shows how the wound goes through stages which signify how much the infection is spreading. The wound will be reddish brown at first, then slowly turn green and finally a pale yellow which is deadly. Lara glances upwards, there are some mountains there. She sees that the poison can take days to weeks to cause major problems, it will begin with the part of her body that’s affected getting numb & could also have spurts of pain.

Lara decides to walk along the beach to find a river meeting the ocean. Whilst walking she remembers something her father had told her when they went camping, smoking dead seaweed was able to keep bugs away. She rushes to the water to find some seaweed.

Her hand goes into the water and we see it trying to gather seaweed under water, she gets some and stores it in her bad. Lara screams in pain and curses the poison in her thigh, but the pain isn’t searing it stays there. Underwater her hand is shown moving towards her thigh and a jellyfish is seen on it. As soon as the hand feels the jellyfish Lara panics and runs out of the water, it’s stuck on to her. She finds a stick nearby and gets it off before killing it with the stick.

Realising the importance of weapons Lara grabs a few more sticks and stores them in her bag to turn into weapons later on, the book mentioned gathering stone and wood to make weapons. Lara finds the river eventually and follows it up towards the mountains.

A montage shows Lara struggling through the forest, but once again using the books words (narrated by her Fathers voice) to help through small problems. Soon it was night and Lara realised that the emergency food supply in her bag was finished, there was no food for her that night. She made the fire and smoked the seaweed to keep bugs away.

Lara wakes up in the middle of the nigh with her thigh paining severely. She lets out a big scream...the pain is excruciating. She hears something rustling in the leaves nearby...a growling wolf comes out of the trees..running towards her. Lara stays petrified in her spot...before trying to quickly grab a wooden stick..she drags herself to the bag...the wolf is cowering by the fire...she realises it's afraid of it. Lara sets the wooden stick on fire and waves it at the wolf who then runs away. Lara checks her wound before trying to sleep again, it is now reddish brown, she’s relieved it’s still only in the first stage. She chants to herself that she can't scream. Lara finds a cloth in her bag and puts it in her mouth when she feels the need to scream..so the night goes by.

Sun shines on Lara’s wound on her thigh, the area has gotten less reddish brown now, Lara knows its moving towards the second stage which is greenish. Lara looks at the mountains with a focussed gaze, she swears to herself that she’ll get there today.

On her way Lara spots a tree with lots of apples, seeing food reminds her of how hungry and weak she feels. She quickly gathers apples, eats some and stores some for later. She knows they aren’t filling but they will have to do for now. Lara gets continues to follow the stream uphill, after going uphill she comes to point where she can look back at the island. It’s beautiful view, dangerous beauty she reminds herself after last nights horror. She remembers her trips to mountains during her Geography field trip, the higher you go the colder it’s going to get she remembers her teacher saying.

Lara sees eagles flying about near the top of the mountain, she wonders why they’re flying in such a distinct pattern. Lara sits down and gets her pocket knife out to carve some wooden sticks into more sharp weapons. The survival book guides her in doing this. Then she does a few practice attack moves to make sure she can defend herself if the need arose.

Lara sees the amazing view one last time before deciding to carry on, that’s when agonizing pain grips her foot again, she puts the cloth back in her mouth as she tries to hold her scream. Tears fall from Lara’s eyes as she lies writhing on the ground. As soon as the pain stops she stuffs the cloth back into he bag and walks up the mountain along the river more determined than ever before.

Lara sees a few mountain goats along her path, they haven’t noticed her yet. Lara knows meat from them will be good for her, it’ll keep her full. (Laras father narrates what the survival guide says about hunting) just as Lara carries out the instructions. Lara arms herself with the sharp stick she made, it resembles a spear now. Lara’s eyes are focussed on the spot on the goat that should make it bleed to death. And the spear is thrown, it missed the Goat completely, they are alerted to her presence. Lara decides to improvise and to run after one of them after she picks up the fallen spear, she catches up to it and digs the spear into its neck. The goat falls and writhes in pain. Lara is shocked at the site as the Goat bleeds to death, moaning in agony. Lara can barely look at the goat anymore, she feels too guilty to even skin it to take meat. She hears eagles cry and hides behind a rock, they swoop down and tear the goat up and eat its meat until theres nothing left but bones. Throughout this Lara cries softly to herself, had she become has barbaric as these animals? Lara then remembers her fathers words once when he had come back late at night, as usual. He had told her that there was no room for sympathy in the animal kingdoms natural chain. She now knows the meaning of those words.

Lara enters a cave further up the mountain. The weed grows in springs in such caves according to the book so she starts to search for springs. A distinct noise can be heard at springs, she looks out for it. She finds the spring at last, the first thing she does is drink water from the stream. Then she scrambles around in the water to get the weed that will cure her poison, it’s meant to have a orange tinge. She finds some at last. The guide says the weed must be eaten raw. Lara drains the water from the weed and stuffs it into her mouth, it’s the most disgusting thing she has ever tasted. She throws up within minutes of taking the weed.

Lara’s happy that it’s finally over, the weed should do as its meant to and rid her of the poison. She decides to camp there for the night, Lara eats a few apples before going to sleep. Lara leaves the cave in the morning and finds herself near the top of the mountain, there is snow all around her. At this moment Lara is desperately hungry and she once again sees Eagles circling up ahead, that must be some place of importance, Lara recalls words from the survival manual, “Such a place where eagles surround could be a place where food is present”.

Lara hurries towards the spot higher up the mountain, that’s when she hears scuffling & eventually a grown as a white wolf jumps on to her, Lara lets out a scream. She tries to fight the wolf with force, but her weak body does no harm to the determined animal.

The wolf claws into her left leg, she looks down in horror and reflexively kicks the animal as hard as possible, her gaze on her left leg shifts to her thigh & she sees that the wound from the poisonous bit doesn’t look healed at all, in fact it’s now going a pale yellow. She tries to kick the wolf again when the searing pain in her thigh begins again. She sees her bag torn up next to her, the wolf comes back to attack. Lara sees the apple in her bag, picks it up and throws it as hard as possible at the wolfs eye, the wolf yells in pain. Just then a shot is heard and Lara sees the wolf lying on the ground, dead, a bullet right in its neck. The shock of hearing a shooting subsides her painful thigh just for a second after which she screams in pain. Her thigh hurts more than ever before.

Lara can’t understand why the weed didn’t work so she gets really scared as the wound is going pale yellow now, the final stage, after this the poison will spread and kill her. Lara sees blood coming out of the wolfs mouth and remembers a basic lesson taught to her in Biology. If you vomit after taking medications they won’t have much effect as a lot of it will just come out of your mouth along with the vomit! She remembers that she vomited as soon as eating the weed. Lara drags herself back to the spring in the cave, her thigh still hurts more than ever.

Lara gets to the spring while moaning in agony and plunges her hands into the it to get the weed, her hand keeps failing her and comes up with green weeds. Lara puts both hands in and finally gets the familiar orange tinged weed and stuffs it into her mouth, forcefully chews and swallows. Lara then jumps into the spring and puts her head into the water. She drinks water to make sure the weed goes down, come out of the spring and finally lets out a cry. Lara falls unconscious.

Lara wakes up and feels a soft bed beneath her body. A middle aged man looks down on her from the side of the bed. He smiles and says, “So you’ve come at last Miss Croft. You coming here is both good and bad unfortunately. But more on that later, drink this first.” Lara as confused as can be sips the bitter concoction that is given to her, she coughs after doing so. But strangely enough feels rejuvenated. “It’s from the seaweed you had in your bag Miss Croft, it’ll make you feel better.” Says the stranger. He goes on to introduce himself as Leo (Pierce Brosnan).

A while later Lara is shown waking up again, this time she find strength to get up. She looks around the room and finds that it’s quite ornate & old world in setting. There’s a grandfather clock up top, beautiful china on display. Her gaze goes straight to a photo though, Lara goes closer and sees it has the man Leo, her father & mother in it.

She goes out into the main room which seems to have open windows which look out into the sky. Leo is on the deck outside looking at the surrounding, Lara steps outside and is instantly stunned by the beautiful view that she sees in front of her. A crystal blue sea in the distance & the entire island sprawled down below her. She quickly turns to Leo & asks him how he knows her family. Leo says all that she needs to know for now is that he knew her parents well & loved them. Her father told him that when a day would come when he could no longer protect Lara she would be sent to this island. Lara tells him she drifted on the shore by accident, her boat was destroyed in the storm. Then Leo says maybe fate wanted her to come here just as much as her father did.

Lara’s gaze turns to the side and she sees something that looks like an obstacle course and a bunch of sheds on a plain to the side of the mountain. Leo tells her that’s where she’ll be training, learning how to protect herself. Lara asks Leo what’s happened to her father & if he knows anything about the disappearance of her mother all those years ago. Leo says he can tell her the answer to the first question but he doesn’t know where her mother is or if she’s even alive.

Leo tells Lara that her father wasn’t any ordinary Geologist, he actually explored dangerous ruins and was part of the RA, Raiders Association. The role of the RA is the protect old relics, monuments, documents, places from falling into the hands of those that may tamper with them. Over the ages it’s been their job to protect that which humans aren’t ready to see yet, to prevent destruction and to prevent information the general public isn’t ready for leaking out. Leo says he doesn’t know what’s happened to her father but he does know that her father was one of the higher members of the RA, he had made many enemies over time. He had told him a long time ago that should anything happen to him you would be sent here & would have to be trained to protect yourself for what awaits you beyond this island.

Lara then asks Leo why he’s here, in this island in the middle of nowhere. He tells her that for that answer she must first complete her training. Leo straight away pushes Lara on to the floor. She shouts at him, but he says it’s best to start when the body is weak. He tells her to get up like nothing is the matter, the spirit of fighting is more important than the condition of the body.

Leo taunts her which makes Lara angry and she gets up and tries to punch him, he dodges her and her hand hits a wooden pillar. Lara screams and Leo tells her to not show her body any mercy, if it cries in pain, use the same part to beat him once again. Lara uses the same fist to try to punch him again, it’s pounding red now, but misses. Leo says that’s enough for today.

A montage is shown where Lara is taught many skills in the house and on the landing deck & then in the cave. Part ways through the montage it shows Lara trying to kill a wolf, the firs time she does it very clumsily...the next time it’s a bit more easier...the final time she does it instantly. The montages also shows good conversation between Lara & Leo.

Leo says she is ready for the final challenge. She needs to complete the obstacle course on the plain below. He takes Lara to the rope that will take her down, but there’s a descent between the plane and the mountain their on. Lara looks at Leo for help, but he turns around & leaves...he says while leaving “use your skills and trust your intuition, it won’t ever lie to you”.

Lara tries to use the rope to cross but can’t seem to find a solution. She then ties it to a pole and descends along the cliff. She then tries to swing accross the rope to get to the plain and barely succeeds. As soon as she lands she hears rumbling...3 boulders head towards her. Lara dodges each of them as she tries to go along the plain and towards he cave at the back.

The cave includes many traps such as swinging flaming pendulums, crumbling floors, sinking sand. Lara gets through these traps, sometimes with close calls. Mid way through her journey in the cave Lara notices that many of the indents in the walls were for bodies. The whole cave is no ordinary cave, it’s a tomb. The final challenge in the cave is trying to get from one end of a river to another. Lara remembers words from the survival guide (once again narrated by her father), “A rivers deadliness isn’t determined by its depth but by its speed, the current is your biggest enemy”. Lara grabs a plant and throws it into the river, the plant is swiftly carried off downstream, she knows there is a strong current in the river now. Eventually Lara manages to cross the river through swinging accross and landing on rock platforms in the middle of the river. Then doing some climbing.

Lara tired & sweaty finally sees light and screams “yess”. The exit to the cave is here at last. She makes it out and finds herself on a landing but the sight that awaits her is a horrifying one. Leo’s house at the top of the mountain is on fire. And a ship can be seen in the distance on the sea. A helicopter can be heard...but not seen. Lara reminds herself of Leo says, the strength is in the spirit not the body. She looks at her surroundings and sees a rope going from the side of the cliff, through the waterfall towards the other which she couldn’t quite see at the moment.

Lara jumps on to the rope and slides along it, below her the island spreads out, she sees the ships in the distance. She shudders as she goes through parts of the small waterfalls, she just holds on tighter to the rope every-time. Finally the other side is clear and Lara is horrified, there are what seem like mercenaries there. They look at her and one of the screams, “Shoot her”, Bullets fly towards Lara who swings to dodge them & finally jumps from the rope on to one of the men and disarms him & kicks his neck so he gets paralyzed. She uses the gun to shoot the other mercenary, it’s her first time using it so she misses as the mercenary is reloading. The recoil takes Lara by surprise, luckily the final shot knocks him out.

In this way Lara makes her way down the island as the path leads her that way, taking out obstacles in her way & using her new found skills.

Lara finally gets back down to the beach, her route never took her through the forest this time. It was entirely by the side of mountains. Lara sees 3 mercenaries on the beach and what looks like their leader, a female with long blonde hair, her back is turned. Lara looks at the pistol, she knows one shot will give her whole position away but it’s the only shot she has...she’ll kill 1 and try to kill all the other straight away. Lara loads up the bullets & aims, praying for it to hit on target.

*shooting sound*

One of the mercenaries is down, Lara immediately tries to shoot the others and fires the remaining rounds quickly. Only 1 finds its target. The mercenary and the woman remain who can now be seen. She looks quite young and is clearly very fit. Lara starts loading up more bullets but before she finishes she hears the woman saying, “Come out to play little girl. My friend here with me has his gun pointed at that ugly bush. You have 5 seconds to come out or he’ll shoot anyway.”

Lara comes out of the bush with her gun in hand. The woman smiles mockingly and says, “So the RA has stooped so low. They send a mere inexperienced little girl to guard such lost treasure. The rumors were true after all, the RA is at its weakest right now”. The woman tells the mercenary to go and take a break, she’ll deal with Lara herself. She tells Lara that her gun skills are pretty mediocre, let’s see how she is hand to hand. And the woman charges towards her.

And so a fight begins, a intense hand to hand fight which ends in lara on the floor and the blonde womans heels pointed at Lara’s face. The blonde woman says, “The names Ella honey, you should know who kills you, not that it’ll matter once you are dead”. The woman twitches her foot to reveal a blade coming out of the bottom of the heel...she tells Lara that she was a worthy Raider, but now her duty is over --- the blonde woman is interrupted mid sentence by a shot and she flies off. A second shot kills the mercenary. Leo comes running towards Lara & asks her if she’s okay.

Lara says Leo owes her an explanation for all this. Leo then tells Lara that he had the duty of guarding the island from mercenaries such as the people she just fought from finding treasure and stealing it or misusing it. The island has many ancient tombs hidden in it which hold incredibly valuable treasures and artifacts, some which may be too powerful to safely handle. Leo says he knows he has failed his mission now, he needs to get back to the RA headquarters. Lara says she’ll come with him. Leo agrees and says her training wasn’t done for no reason, they wanted her to become a member of the RA, he also tells her she reminds him of her mother. Leo goes on to say that her mother was sent on a similar mission elsewhere, that was the last time anyone heard from her. They miss her very much today, Leo then finally reveals that he knew her mother for longer than anyone else in the world; she was his sister. Lara is shocked by the revelation that Leo is her uncle, the two have a small talk about family and why Lara wasn’t told. It was to protect the nature of their jobs in the RA.

The two go towards the helicopter that Leo has waiting. Lara says she needs to know if her Butler survived the ships sinking, Leo says he has, he got the information from his sources. Leo tells Lara that if she’s to join the RA she’ll need a codename. He says, “you’ll have to be something Raider. So what’ll it be? Island Raider?”. Lara is shown smiling.

The screen goes black & TOMB RAIDER flashes on the screen

---- THE END -----

Edited by darthdevidem01
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The ImmuneDate: January 17thTheaters: 3,084Genre: Sci-Fi/Action/ThrillerDirector: Oliver MegatonCast: Ryan Gosling (Jason)Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and disturbing imagesRuntime: 105min (1hr, 45min)Budget: $40 millionIn the near future, a man in New York City develops a highly contagious disease that is also fatal. Before the disease spreads across the entire nation, the government sets up a high level quarantine to the city, cutting it off from the entire world. The rest of the world was safe, but New York City had become a living hell. Crime has grown rampant, anarchy reigns supreme, and the disease is still live. However, the government has came up with another solution: The Immune. A special group of skilled hit men immune to the disease, they are sent in to target and kill dangerous criminals and those who have dangerous cases of the disease. This has managed to delay the time needed for doctors to synthesize a cure for the disease.Jason is a skilled member of the Immune, having taken out a large number of targets already. However, Jason is concered about his next target: an 8-year old girl, Mila, with a terrible case of the disease. While people tell him that if she has the disease, she'll likely die anyways. Jason is sent into the city to the home where the girl lives. She is currently living by herself, having learned at an early age to take care of herself after her parents were killed by thugs. As Jason comes to her apartment with a gun armed, she panics and hides. Jason realizes that she's not putting up a fight, and he can't bring himself to kill her. Instead, he goes up to her and simply tells her, "We're going to get you out of here."As the higher up members of The Immune observe the footage from a hidden camera, they are outraged at Jason's mercy towards the girl. They strike a secret deal with the city's crime lord to have both of them killed, in returned for a healthy financial reward and freedom from the city. Jason and Mila try to outrun the criminals and make it to an escape. Jason knows the vulnerable exits from his time as an Immune hit man. While in the city, they must also get past angry mobs demanding a cure, some protests turning into all out riots. Jason is finally confronted by another Immune hit man, who was sent to kill him, and the two get into a fight on a New York rooftop, eventually leading to Jason pushing off the hit man.Later on, a cure is finally synthesized, and the quarantine is taken down. The Immune disband and are recruited elsewhere as police officers and mercenaries. Mila is treated, and Jason adopts her. Edited by Spaghetti
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Comedians

Director: Ben Stiller

Genre: Comedy

Date: July 25-27

Studio: Guernica Films

Theaters: 3542 theatres

MPAA Rating: R

Budget: $120 million

Runtime: 115 min

Format: 2D digital

Cast:

Tom Cruise as Les Grossman

Playing themselves:

Ricky Gervais, Will Ferrell, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Seth Rogen, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Denis Leary, Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Alec Baldwin, Charlie Sheen and plenty of cameos

Plot: The greatest comedians ever assembled to decide who’s the funniest person on the planet.

We start off Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and James Franco smoking weed in an LA apartment, while watching a classic, black and white comedy. After paying homage to the film with some nice comments the conversation kicks off as Hill comes up with an inappropriate joke and he gets offended when Rogen and Franco doesn't find it funny. The argument turns into the whose funnier contest. Will Ferrell bursts into the house and introduces himself with a funny story about his ex. They all cracking up laughing and agree the Ferrell is the funniest of all of them. Ferrell says arrogantly that it’s natural, he’s the best comedian ever. The others laughing at that comment and making sarcastic jokes. Ferrell gets serious at that and suddenly punches Franco. That won’t stop Rogen and Hill – both pretty much stoned – carry on making fun of Ferrell. “Dude you’re not even finnier than Tyler Perry” says Rogen. “What are you talking about, I am the funniest comedian ever” shouts Ferrell. “I though my jokes were bad” laughs Hill. Franco climbs up to the couch from the floor and comes up with the solution. “I know how to decide this…we’re going to make a contest. I just have the right guy for this”. He picks up his phone and calls…LES GROSSMANN. (Cruise).

Les Grossman is in his office having a meeting with Alec Baldwin. He’s shouting at him. “What do you mean you want a break? You win a fucking Oscar, then you can have a break. I made you a multiple Golden and EMMY winner, you know how much it cost me to buy off your 7th Screen Actors Guild award? I doubled up from last year and Ty Burrell still nearly won. So you don’t go on a motherfucking break unless I say so.” The phone rings. Franco comes up with his idea to host a contest. Grossman gets excited about it. We decided to make a reality show and ask all the comedians out there to compete to decide who’s the best. He gets out of his chair and starts shaking his fat arse. “The ratings will reach Mars, I am going to make TV gold, play ya, play ya, welcome to prime time, bitcha”. Starts dancing off to a pop song.

The selection process begins. Everyone has thirty second to perform in front of the camera and make himself look funny at the audition. Grossman sets up a panel for the jury that includes himself, Denis Leary and Ricky Gervais. Gervais claims that he is the obviously the number one, so he doesn’t need to compete in this silly show, but he’s curious to find out who’s the runner-up. We’re going to see a montage of the long list of 15 second cameos with lots of funny one-liners and jokes and the panels harsh comments make it even more hilarious. Jim Carrey just stars at the camera for twenty second before he claims that he loves Emma Stone, Ben Stiller spoofs Joachin Phienix with huge beard, Tom Hanks says that he’d give up his two Oscars fir this, Will Smith comes up with a gay joke, Nicolas Cage rants about how stupid this whole thing is. We see funny clips from Adam Sandler, Robbie Williams, Sasha Baron Cohen, Ellen Degeneres, Jon Stewart, Conan O’Brien, Ben Stiller and Thomas Lennon. Steven Segal turns up, which makes Les Grossman go nuts. “Who the fuck let this fat bastard in, who has never smiled in his entire career?” Lot of rude comments follow certain candidates. Rob Schneider (“It’s not a farting contest”), Steve Martin (“you’re too old, you couldn’t even get a role for Cheaper by the Dozen 3”), Bill Murray (“Hey, it’s not an audition for the Garfield reboot”), Jamie Foxx (We have already got a black comedian, who wants another one”), Russell Brand (“Fuck off to England, mate” then Gervais adds, “Please no, send him to Virgin Islands”), Eddie Murphy also gets slaughtered by Gervais with a Norbit joke. Steve Carrell wants to enter the contest, but the security guard grabs him and throws him out saying after him that “Ricky banned him to enter”.

They finally decide the five contestants for the show. They are Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock and Robin Williams.

They all get different tasks individually. Carrey has to make a whole bus laugh in 2 minutes, Stiller has to crash an award ceremony and make the most of it without getting booed and the audience should end up clapping. Sandler has to come on at the stage at the hip-hop gig a minute after they announced that the rapper cancelled the gig, Rock has to go to a retirement home and make the old people laugh, Williams has to make a scene in a posh restaurant and make people laugh. They all do a brilliant job, especially Stiller with the hip-hop crowd. The public votes. The first person to go out is Chris Rock. He was funny, but given that he had the easiest task, he should have done better.

The second task is testing the dramatic side of the comedians. Again they get into four different situations, needless to say the actor, who fails miserably and gets voted out is Adam Sandler.

The third task is to sit down at a radio station and have a chat with Charlie Sheen, who obviously goes ballistic crazy and all three of them need to try to not only match him, but try to make him laugh and get a compliment out of him. Williams absolutely smashes this task, the second best is Carrey. Stiller is owned by Sheen, he goes out.

So the final is Carrey vs. Williams with an extremely entertaining stand-up battle in front of a huge crowd in an arena. We hear hilarious jokes after jokes. One would think that it’s really Williams’ to lose, but Carrey is just too funny.

Decision time. And the winner is…JIM CARREY. But here comes a twist, there’s a human error during the broadcast and a massive slip-up, strange instructions can be heard and the truth is revealed. It was all just a set up for Carrey to win. The whole thing was planned from the start, and the film becomes the parody of the Truman Show. When Carrey starts to realize that all the people in the arena are paid extras, Les Grossman goes ballistic crazy. Especially when the fake Oscar is brought to stage as the final prize for Carrey. He looks at the organiser, shouting at him: “A nutless monkey could have done your job, but you managed to screw it. Get me Ed Harris asap”.

Grossman gets a nervous breakdown, the devastated Carrey is escorted out of the studio, when he gets a genuine applause from his fellow comedians. The last shot of the film is Ricky Gervais (4) playing basketball with a Ferrell (27), Franco (84), Hill (58) and Rogen (42). The numbers are the shirt they’re wearing, I let you decide what are they referring to. As they joke around after the game and leave the court we zoom out and see two huge banners on the right hand side in gold frames. The two faces on the banners are Richard Pryor and Bill Hicks.

End credits start to roll.

Edited by The Dark Alfred
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La Bourrage Marron

Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet

Genre: Farce (French)

Date: December 5

Studio: Blankments Productions

Cast: Jean Dujardin as Jacques Citron and Dany Boon as Homme Mal.

Runtime: 103 min

Tagline: Il est difficile de sortir d'une confiture.

Plot: Jacques is an ordinary man, who buys himself grape jam. However, it is brown, and he finds himself being hunted by a strange man known as Homme Mal. Jacques then must figure out the secret of the brown jam, and save all of Paris.

Theaters: 903

MPAA Rating: R for nudity and drug use.

Budget: $15 million

Edited by Blankments
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The Rebel Prince

Genre: Epic Adventure/Fantasy

Directed By: Christopher Nolan

Original Music By: Hans Zimmer

Release Date: June 6-8

Theater Count: 4250

Budget: $250 million

Running Time: 153 minutes

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Cast:

Shia LeBoeuf - Prince Sergeo

Hayden Panettiere - Rebecca

Eric Bana - Vander

Jonah Bobo - Tobo

Taylor Kitsch- Buro

Jesse McCartney - Bron

Tom Hardy - Captain Gasper

Ken Jeong - Ano

Zoe Saldana - Sandy

Gary Oldman - Grandpa Rodero

Dennis Hopper - King Serge

Marion Cotillard - Queen Salina

Raven Symone (Voice) - Lucy

Morgan Freeman (Voice) - Timber

Zak & Tak ( Voice) - Kenan & Kal

Plot Summary:

COMING SOON

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The Flowers of Arvika

Director: Lukas Moodysson (Show Me Love, Lilja 4-Ever)

Genre: Foreign Drama

Language: Swedish-English

Date: October 3-5

Studio: Guernica Films

Theaters: Limited - 128 theatres: October 3-5, 457: October 10-12, Wide - 1244: October 17-19

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Budget: $7 million

Runtime: 127 mins

Format: 2D flat

Cast:

Michelle Williams as Frida

Alexander Skarsgård as Ingmar

Jon Krasinski as Jeff

Elsie Kate Fisher as Linda

Composer: Nathan Larson (The Messenger)

Plot: Frida is in the middle of a marriage crisis when she gets an invitation letter from Sweden to her mother's funeral, who she hasn't seen in 30 years.

In the opening scene we see Frida (Williams) getting out of bed early morning and preparing breakfast for her husband and daughter. When she leaves the house they are both still sleeping. We follow Frida’s journey to work. She lives in San Francisco, California. Her facial expression tells us a lot, she’s not happy with her life, we can sense hidden anger, lack of lust and energy, we can see that the daily routine of work doesn’t please her. She gets to the hospital and starts her shift. Back to the house Jeff (Krasisnki) wakes up, goes to the kitchen, reads the note that Frida left for her. The 8-year old Linda (Fisher) joins his father for her breakfast. They take their dog for a walk and when they get back to the house Linda starts practising on piano and Jeff begins working on his novel. Meanwhile at the hospital Frida is in the middle of a serious liver surgery. After the successful attempt she goes to her locker room to have some rest. She glances at the white clock on the wall. Only 16.18. Still a few hours to go. She grabs the lunch-box from the table and starts munching a sandwich while dialling a number on her phone. After several rings Jeff finally picks it up. They’re having a casual conversation, but when Frida asks him about how he’s getting on with his novel he gets a bit angry at her reaction to the slight development. He reminds her that they’re having a friend’s birthday parry tonight, but Frida reminds him that she’s having a long shift and she doesn’t fancy going. After Jeff reiterates how important this friend is to him, she promises to join them later. But it’s one of those crazy days, lot of injured people are being brought on, she’s not getting home till very late. She looks at her phone and sees the 18 missed call. Frida rushes home and finds a whole mess in the kitchen and notices that the laundry is still in the watching machine. She puts them out, quickly gets changed to a nice dress, gives a goodnight kiss to her daughter and heads to the party. By the time she gets there the most of the guests are already gone. On the way back home the argument kicks off between Jeff and Frida. He’s upset that she missed the most of the party and she’s never around, she responds angrily to those claims, mentioning that someone has to work for paying the mortgage and stuff, slags him off for not trying hard with his novel and not giving her support. He replies that they talked this stuff over and it hurts him that she brings this up as for a man it’s not easy to sit home and see her wife working, but the decision has been made due to her much better paid job. Then she hits out that won’t even do the necessary stuff at home like cleaning, cooking, etc. The argument goes on and on until they get home. In the end Frida shuts the whole thing down as she goes to bed silently to get some sleep.

The next morning Frida wakes up early as usual, this time she doesn’t prepare any breakfast. Linda wakes Jeff telling him that they’re run out of cereal. Jeff is lazy to go to the shop, he just orders some pizza. Back to hospital, Frida faces another heavy surgery, which has a tragic outcome, she couldn’t save the person. She doesn’t have much to think about this, only manages to wipe off her tears and get herself ready for the next big operation. Meanwhile Jeff is inviting a few friends over and having fun watching sport and drinking beer. When she gets home, she has no energy to continue the fight with Jeff, she breaks down in tears confessing that she can’t take this anymore. Jeff is trying to be nice and suggest her to take some time off.

The next day Frida goes to work again, when she arrives home Jeff is waiting for her with a nicely prepared table and freshly cooked dinner and a bottle of wine. She gives him a kiss. Her mood is a bit better now. During the dinner, Jeff mentions that she got a random letter from Sweden. She opens it up with great excitement, but her face gets sad and serious while reading it. She informs Jeff that it’s about her mother who she hasn’t seen in decades. She died in a small town in Sweden and wants her to look after her flowers her garden and carry on her duties as the ringer of the local church. It’s also an invitation for the funeral. She rings his brother in Chicago, who says that he doesn’t care about her mother, who abandoned them and has no desire to go to the funeral. Frida is not sure what to do as she reveals Jeff that she hasn’t heard about her mother in 30 years. She decides to attend to the funeral.

The story shifts to Sweden, we find ourselves looking at the beautiful scenery of the countryside of Varmland province and arrive to a lovely town called Arvika. After the religious ceremony, Frida is briefed about her mother’s will. She tries to find answers why she contacted her, but she gets none. She’s even surprised that she knew her American address. Her mother was a mystery for many people and the only advice she gets is try talk to locals. She’s escorted to her house, which locates nearby a lake and the hill. Breathtaking scenery. She had a huge garden, which is full of unique flowers. Then Frida is left alone in the house, we scares her a bit. Not in a horror way, more on an emotional level, sleeping in her mother’s house, who she hasn’t seen in 30 years. She’s trying to call Jeff, but she gets no reception. She goes to sleep.

The next day she goes to town center to talk to some of the locals, but she finds out that nobody is speaking much of English. A thirty-something man comes to her rescue and we introduce one of our other main character, Ingmar (Skarsgård) . They have a nice chat about the history of Arvika, the people and slightly mention Frida’s mother, but Ingmar hasn’t got much information on her as he’s not part of the church as many people are. He mentions however that Frida’s mother was a mysterious woman and she was disliked by many on the town. Ingmar promises to ask people around. Frida goes back to the house and looks around inside properly. She finds old photos and documents and a diary, but it’s all written in Swedish. Then she takes a walk around a lake and admires once more the flower garden. She feels relaxed for the first time in a long time. She completely forgot to call Jeff and tells herself to do it the next day.

She takes her mother’s diary and meets up with Ingmar. He starts to translate it to her. He also introduces her to the priests and some church members, but the conversation is staggering due to the language barrier. Ingmar invites Frida over to his house for dinner. They spend the evening together and Frida’s having a great time, she’s smiling and seems happy, which is a feeling that she’s not used to. She calls Jeff and tells him that she’s stay here for a fortnight. She asks Ingmar to teach her to learn Swedish. She tells him that she used to speak Swedish when she was little, but since she moved to America at the age of five, she forgot nearly everything. We get to know more about her childhood, the way she left Sweden and about her father’s death, her life in America and we also get into more detail of Ingmar’s life.

As the week goes on Frida and Ingmar gets to know each other very well and we can sense the birth of a little romance between the two. Frida’s is picking up the language pretty quickly, which gains the appreciation and the trust of the locals.

The plot revolves around religion after this, Frida discovers how much her mother was involved in the church. Ingmar explains that how important religion is in this town, he also states his view on God and why he’s one of the few, who doesn’t believe in him. Frida agrees with him, but as she learns more from her mother’s diary she begins to think that her close relationship to God might be the reason that she unconsciously against it so much. She tries to recall old memories when she was a little kid and had to go to church with her family. She enjoys the local lifestyle and looking after her mother’s flowers. She calls Jeff and tells him that she’s stay for a while, which makes Jeff really worried.

The next day Ingmar takes her to the other side of the bay, where the country’s only inland fjord is located. This is where the first kiss happens, which is followed by another daytrip and the happiness of our story peaks when Frida and Ingmar sleep together. From here on, drama takes over once again. The next conversation with Jeff doesn’t go down well, also Frida gets to learn things about her father and her family though her mother’s journey that she had no idea. The picture of a villainous mother enlightens a bit and certain details make Frida cry. When she thinks about Linda, she gets worried and questions her actions, but when seeing Ingmar and friendliness of the locals cloud her doubts. She starts speaking Swedish, so some part of the film is subtitled from now on. Things get more complicated, Ingmar confessed his love towards her and his desire to leave this small town, Frida however loves the countryside life and she begins to settle to the idea to not to go back to America at all. Ingmar pushes her when she mentions Linda and the thought of not seeing her again and speaks of selfishness. This obviously leads to an argument and we see an emotional monologue from Frida, which isn’t really a row with Ingmar, rather than an inside battle with her feelings.

Ingmar’s feelings to get out of this city and start a life with Frida shine through more dominantly while Frida finishes her mother’s diary, which makes her change her opinion her and starts to understand her mother and she gets obsessed with the flowers as well.

Ingmar is the perfect portrayal of the society problems of Sweden and we try to add more understanding of this unique community that holds contradiction: high living standard, happy and prosperous on the surface versus frustration, everlasting unhappiness and dissatisfaction on the inside. We also hit the always becoming theme of city life versus country life. When Ingmar tells Frida that he can’t live in this town anymore and he wants to move on and he wants Frida to finally make a decision of her life, the relationship between the two reach all-time low. Frida wants to extend the period of her life that finally make her happy and tells Ingmar that she won’t be able to choose at the moment, but when she does it’s either going back to her family or staying here in Arvika with him, but not anywhere else. Ingmar and Frida is having a quiet dinner and an ominous feeling floats in the air.

It’s Sunday morning and Frida for the first time of her adult life decides to attend to a mass. Max von Sydow appears in a cameo role as the priest. After the ceremony she goes back to house and tragedy beckons. She finds the whole garden completely destroyed, all the flowers cur out and burned. The sad music theme that fades in adds to the heart-breaking scene, but the drama is not over yet. Frida rushes to Ingmar’s house, where she finds him hanged on the porch. She collapses.

Next scene, we’re at a funeral again, just like the beginning of the Swedish part of the story. We see a completely devastated and broken Frida, she finally found peace and happiness of her life and it has been taken away. She can’t stay in Arvika. She flies back to San Francisco. The journey to the airport shows the saddest and face on the planet.

The plane takes off and we still see an incredibly lonely woman walking down to the passport hall holding strongly to a diary like it was a Bible. She walks out to the arrival gate and sees Jeff and Linda. Gives Jeff a quick kiss and holds onto Linda for a long while. Frida starts to cry. When she stands up, she manages a smile, looks at Jeff then glances at the airport, the people surround her, trying to adjust to the level of noise. We see a flashback of her in Arvika, she’s sitting in the garden, glancing at the flowers, birds gently singing in the background, the sun is shining. Snap back to reality and the noisy airport. It’s almost hurting her ears. She grabs Linda’s little hand and they start walking to the exit door. We hear a subdued question from Jeff, but Frida is not focusing on it, she can only make out one word about traveling, replies automatically, but her thoughts are somewhere else. Now we hear Linda saying “I missed you, mommy”. Frida smiles. We’re closing up on her face. She smiles, but there’s lot of pain in her expression, it reflects joy and sorrow at the same time.

The end.

Edited by The Dark Alfred
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The SketchbookGenre: Fantasy/ComedyDate: November 26thTheaters: 3,426Director: Seth GordonWriters: Dan Fogelman, Jason SegelCast: Jason Segel (Sam Gregor), Zoe Kazan (Mavis), Will Arnett (Jeff Maxwell), Neil Patrick Harris (Smiley Face - voice)Rating: PG for language, some rude humor and mischief, and some sensualityRuntime: 105min (1hr, 45min)Budget: $65,000,000Synopsis: A struggling sketch artist's drawings suddenly come to life on the page - literally! - and his life begins to change for the better.

Sam Gregor is a skilled cartoonist, longing to get a job at an animation studio, but still happy to be a political cartoonist at the newspaper in Pittsburgh, PA. Although he tends to be rather shy and introverted, despite being a likeable person, he finds solace in the drawing that he makes. He even frames his best works on the wall of his bedroom. One day, he finds that he's been laid off by the newspaper, but is reassured that many other departments have also been cut. Sam isn't exactly cheered up by this odd choice of words used in that statement, as if to make him happy that other people were laid off. Sam returns home, frustrated at how he's lost something he worked at for six years. He wishes that somehow, things would get better for him, as he drifts off to sleep. Outside of the window, a shooting star passes through the night.The next day, Sam wakes up to hear what appears to be someone taking a shower. This is rather odd, since nobody lives with him. He just shrugs it off and thinks its all in his head. He approaches his sketchbook to do more drawing, but much to his surprise, the noise gets louder. He flips to an open page, but he sees that the drawing on a previous page is actually taking a shower, moving and talking on the page. As soon as the showering person notices Sam, they both scream in terror and back away from each other. Sam soon regains his senses and looks around the room, all of his drawings are coming to life within the page, talking and carrying out the activities that they were drawn doing.We see one of the figures come up and adress Sam, a smiley face with a top hat and stick arms and legs, referring to himself as Smiley Face. He explains how the wish he made brought the drawings to life on the pages. Sam didn't just make drawings. He now has a living, breathing, world that he had just created. Sam is in utter shock. Smiley Face, in order to demonstrate the power Sam has, asks him to draw a small cup of coffee and put it on the page that Smiley Face is on. He does just that, and when he puts it on the page, Smiley actually starts to take it and drink it down. Sam is amazed at what he had just created. However, he wonders if he'll have to do this every time one of them is hungry. Smiley tells him that the wish also created an entire new world outside of the pages, where the characters he created could live freely and get anything they need.That day, Sam goes out to search for a new job. He does enjoy cooking, and there are a lot of restaurants here, so maybe there's a job opportunity there. Places keep turning him down, while Sam eventually sits down at a curb. However, a newspaper blows in the wind. It is actually a political cartoon that he did a while ago of a candidate giving a lazy pep talk, and he does just that, telling him, "Don't give up, believe in yourself, all that jazz, see ya." He looks past the cartoon and sees a sandwich shop hiring cooks behind him. He decides to just fold up the cartoon, seeing it as unethical to just leave him in the cold. He is interviewed by the manager of the place, Mavis, and he somehow manages to get the job.The sketchbook characters celebrate that night by watching cartoonized versions of movies with Sam, amused to see how some of his favorite movies were done in the style of his drawings. As the days go by, Tom impresses Mavis by his great cooking skills, and the two begin to have feelings for each other. They even have a date set for November 8th. Sam also hangs out with his drawings, and they each help each other out with issues in each others worlds. On November 8th, Mavis visits Sam's house and sees the drawings. She is freaked out at first, but she soon gets to spend the evening with them, amazed at the magic that has happened. Everything is going pretty well, until another newspaper with a political cartoon gets into the hands of a selfish newscaster, Jeff Maxwell, who sees this as a big story the next day.The two spend the night, but they are awoken to the drawings panicing. The news knows about them. Jeff Maxwell delivers a story about the situation, causing interviewers to stampede their home and their drawings. Mavis is pushed away. Later on, Sam and his drawings become famous, but he begins to stop spending time, causing her to get frustrated. She decides that since he is still happy, she shouldn't really complain, but she had rarely ever felt the same way about Sam as with other people. When another date is halted by Sam's appearence on a talk show, she breaks up with him, seeing as the fame has gone to his head.When he returns home, he is shocked to discover that his drawings have been stolen from the wall: Both his framed works and his sketchbook are gone. We see a trashbag with several screams and cries for help coming inside: the drawings. A thug carrying the bag drops it off at the back door of a large house. Max's house. He pays the thug for doing his dirty work and opens the bag, seeing all of the drawings that Sam made inside of the bag. Sam asks Mavis to help him just this once, although she is still mad at him. He needs the drawings back, considering how they are some of his few friends. He apologizes for being fame hungry, promising that he'll spend more time with her afterwards. She reluctantly decides to help, but a voice in a trash can calls out. It's another political cartoon.He knows that Jeff had the drawings stolen, and that he'll sell them to make money, lying that he had a deal with Sam. The two are annoyed, knowing that Jeff wasn't a very good person. Sam comes up with a plan to disguse as exterminators and take back the drawings. He and Mavis make it into the house easily, but the drawings recognize him as Sam and begin to cheer. Although he shushes them, it manages to catch the attention of Jeff. Sam and Mavis gather up everything and escape, leading to an insane pursuit that eventually leads to the news studio, where a slapstick battle between Sam and Jeff soon emerges. Smiley tells Sam to ask Jeff why he's doing this, but he has a special plan himself. Jeff reveals his plan to Sam: He stole his drawings to sell them and make so much stinkin' cash. However, Mavis was recording the confession on the news camera the whole time, and the entire city was watching.Police proceeed to arrest Jeff, and everything is settled between Sam, Mavis, and the drawings. Sam soon comes up with a new idea. He'll take the drawings and put them into a museum, where they can hang out with many new people and still live freely in the world of his drawings. The drawings excitedly approve, and the museum soon opens to a massive success. Sam and Mavis also get married there at the end, wishing that good things would continue to come. As they say this, a shooting star soars across the night shy, followed by 'THE END'.

Edited by Spaghetti
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I basically just copied everything that was in the game for this one. If it gets a sequel I'll probably make an original story with these characters.

UNCHARTED

Genre: Action/Adventure

Date: May 23rd

Theaters: 3977

Director: Gore Verbinski

Composer: Greg Edmonson (Main Theme:)

Cast: Nathan Fillion (Nathan "Nate" Drake), Kristen Bell (Elena Fisher), Walter Silverman (unknown)(Victor "Sully" Sullivan), Gabriel Roman (Alan Dale), Daniel Vasquez (unknown)(Atoq Navarro), George Sie (Unknown)(Eddy Raja), Ian McKellen (narrator)

Rating: PG-13

Run time: 2 hours 43 minutes (163 minutes)

Budget: 175 million

coming soon

Edited by Killimano3
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Just a quick little doc to fill a few dates.

On The Set

Genre: Documentary

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Date: March 14

Theaters: 45 (3/7), 197 (3/14), 1042 (3/28)

Rating: PG for language and some smoking

Runtime: 110min (1hr, 50min)

Budget: $750,000

Everybody loves going to the movies. Seeing their favorite stars on the big screen, watching action packed spectacle unfold, and having a chance to escape the normal, everyday life. However, a lot of us wonder, "so how do these movies end up on the big screen?" This documentary provides a look at the film making process, crammed into less than 2 hours! Everything from the proposal of an idea to the box office numbers is brought on. The example used during the doc is a fake movie called, "The Moon," a sci-fi about astronauts going to the moon and discovering an alien race. The doc also explains the roles of several key players in the process, such as editor, score composer, and cinematographer through interviews and clever animations. This humurous documentary can give moviegoers a whole new insight into the movie going experience, realizing just how much work is put into each of these movies. The end credits also shows animations of the roles that the said filmmakers play.

Edited by Spaghetti
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Title: Death of a StrawberryRelease: 4/11Rating: PG (For mild comic violence, Genre: CGI Animation/Live film mixed, comedy/adventureCasting: Jonah Hill (The Strawberry, Voice), George Lopez (Mr. Sanchez, live action and voice), Jim Carrey (The Jam, Voice), Paul Rudd (The Grape, Voice)Theaters: 3,091Runtime: 1hr 41 minute (101 minutes)Plot: The Strawberry is raised on a nice farm, a big farm, run by Mr. Sanchez, farmer/agribusiness owner. The Strawberry dreams of being eaten as part of a nourishing lunch for children or adults. But The Grape haunts him of tales of a factory where strawberries are cut up, put into jam and loaded onto funnel cakes, ruining all of its nutritional value.The film goes into live-action sometimes, as we see Mr. Sanchez interacting with various people and selling his fruit in a farmer's market.The Grape and The Strawberry taunt each other, with The Strawberry reminding The Grape that he could end up being the Raisin in a Raisinet, or part of some wine instead of an actual grape. The Strawberry and The Grape are taken away from one another, we see this both in CGI/and in live action.The Strawberry is brought to a production kitchen, where much as he has been told, he is put into some jam. The jam taunts him as he is covered in it, and placed into a funnel cake. He is eaten by a happy child. As The Strawberry is eaten by a happy child, he wonders... was it all that bad? At least he made a child happy. The Grape has a similar feeling, as he realizes he's about to become wine. He is making a date more pleasant and tolerable.The End. We see Mr. Sanchez planting more seeds at the final scene of this film.

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Service

Date: April 25th

Theaters: 1,959

Genre: Comedy

Director: Richard Curtis

Cast: John Oliver (Bill), Ricky Gervais (Michael), Emily Blunt (Janice)

Rating: R for language throughout and some smoking

Runtime: 94min (1hr, 34min)

Budget: $15,000,000

Bill and Michael are two of London's most brilliant scam artists, and their latest scheme is to count cards at a casino. At the tables, they score a great deal of hefty cast, but in an unprecedented feat, they are caught by the casino's security guards. Upon closer examination, the police also realize that these men have also been associated with many dubious schemes in the past few years. Bill & Michael are soon put on trial, where their crimes will determine their punishment. After smooth talking the judges, the two are merely sentenced to London Hope, a two year community service program for criminals.

At London Hope, they'll have to do a great deal of work to make London a better place. Picking up garbage on the side of the road, teaching children the dangers of drugs, all that jazz. Bill mutters to himself when he gets a first glace of the office, with signs of peace and happiness for the community posted on the walls, "Is it too late to get behind bars?" They meet a key official at London Hope, Janice, who is oddly sympathetic towards the criminals, saying how there's a little bit of good in everyone. Michael almost cracks up upon hearing this dreadfully cheesy saying, to which Janice sighs out of frustration.

While the men are at London Hope, they stay at a special hotel-like place for the workers, a slight step up from prison, as the two would believe, and they have to endure around 48 hours a week of community service. While working, they keep cracking jokes and smoking to help pass the time, even though Janice discourages it. As time progresses, though, Bill realizes that he's starting to have feelings for Janice. Michael doesn't really care about their relationship, at least based on what he asserts. The two go out for dinner one night, and an awkward conversation occurs, while Michael becomes somewhat jealous.

At a seminar for gun safety, taught by some London Hope workers, some of which are in the community service program, Bill accidentally shoots Michael in the arm when demonstrating the dangers of guns. Michael believes that he did this on purpose because of the approaches that he made on Janice. They get into a hilarious fight and are soon stopped by Janice. Disappointed in both of them, she walks away. They are soon ordered to an additional 2 years. Bill and Michael soon realize something about each other. They're gay.

In the end, the two get let out, still close friends with Janice, but in love with each other instead. They never do a scam again, but only because the program was really irritating. Basically, it kind of worked.

Edited by Spaghetti
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Decker

Director: Sam Fell (Paranorman, Flushed Away)

Music: Jon Brion

Genre: CGI Animaton

Date: April 11-13

Studio: Guernica Films

Theaters: 3472 theatres

MPAA Rating: U

Budget: $85 million

Runtime: 107 min

Format: 3D digital

Cast:

Decker voiced acted by Daniel Radcliffe

Katie voiced acted by Emma Watson

Dan voiced acted by Rupert Grint

Arthur voiced acted by Michael Caine

Jack voiced acted by Simon Pegg

Jasper voiced acted by Nick Frost

Plot:

The film kicks off with an action-packed summary of a busy day of traffic in London. We see things from the point of view of the buses, who can talk. We saw talking animals, cars, planes, now here we see talking buses. After some thrilling animation of the city and some humorous scenes, we introduce our main characters. Decker (Radcliffe) is a young bus, who's about to start going to traffic for the first time. Arthur (Caine) is his mentor, the veteran bus, who's been through many challenges during the years. Dan (Grint) is another youngster, who bullies Decker and making fun of him, the source of the dissing mainly comes from is obvious affection towards Katie, another rookie bus in the circuit. The first act of the film focuses on how these three blend into the traffic life. We go through all the elements of a busy city, annoying hipsters, rude youngsters, who don't want to pay and make litter on the bus and they're getting thrown off to lovely tourists and regular travelers, who are making friends with the bus. Trouble beckons plenty of time, especially during night drives, Decker is a bit shy and lacks of confidence, but he gets better and better through the help of Arthur and Katie. Dan carries on making fun of his pace and overtaking skills. The first fifty minutes contains lots of action and humor.

Then the tone changes in the second act. Arthur passes away. Sad theme fades in and we'll see a heartbreaking flashback montage of the friendship of Decker and Arthur. Decker becomes an a very quiet bus and even Katie can't console him. Times passes buy, technology changes and new buses are coming in, slowly and surely replacing the old one. Soon, the trio of Decker, Katie and Dan become old prototypes that they become unnecessary vehicles, get less and and less shifts, the trio is building a strong bond, Dan's attitude changes towards Decker and the three of them are trying to prove their worth.

The thirds act sees a competition, for the Queen's birthday, three bus will be selected to test the new road of the parade and be part of the ceremony as well. So the games begin to select the best buses to represent the city, based on different categories, speed, cleanness, design, adaptability to different circumstances and weather conditions, etc. The two new "villains" that the trio faces includes Tom (Pegg) and Jasper (Frost), two cocky new vehicles. After an adventurous final act, Decker, Katie and Dan become selected for the parade beating out the other duo. The film ends up Decker finally confessing his love to Katie and the three of them riding together to the sunset.

Edited by The Dark Alfred
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Knights of the Lunch Table

Director: Craig McCracken

Genre: Animation (Flash)

Date: August 29

Studio: Blankments Productions

Cast: Jason Ritter as Artie King, Linda Cardellini as Gwen Lee, Grey DeLisle as Mrs. Dagger, Phil LaMarr as Percy, Jay Baruchel as Wayne, Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Joe Roman, T.J. Miller as Gareth, and Kevin Michael Richardson as Mr. Merlin.

Runtime: 86 min

Tagline: The Dodgeball Chronicles

Plot: Artie King is living a middle school nightmare. His mean older sister, Morgan, calls him Wartie, and he’s the new kid at a Camelot Middle School. The school has the world’s meanest principal, Mrs. Dagger, and is ruled by a group of bullies who call themselves The Horde. Artie misses the bus on his first day, but a passing cyclist, who turns out to be the school guidance counselor, Mr. Merlin, and who seems to have a magical ability to predict the future, points him toward a shortcut through the woods. Along the way, Artie meets a new friend, Percy. The shortcut works, and they beat the bus to school. At school, a member of The Horde takes Artie’s lunch. When Joe Roman, the leader of The Horde, eats it, we learn that Morgan had packed a soap sandwich for poor Artie. Enraged and burping pink soap bublles, Roman vows revenge.

At school, Artie meets another new friend, Wayne, who is on a quest to retrieve his confiscated Game Boy from the principal’s office. Wayne has a brother named Gareth. Artie also meets Gwen, a confident young lady who can more than take care of herself. He gets assigned to a mysterious locker that no one has been able to unlock for years, even though the combination is scrawled right on it; it’s rumored that the student who opens it will “rule the school.” Artie spins the locker dial and it clicks open. He’s the chosen one.

All this only makes Joe Roman angrier. Just when it looks like he’s going to clobber Artie, Percy challenges The Horde to a dodgeball duel instead. This is bad news for Artie. In an effort to fit in, he’d told his new pals that he was a legendary dodgeball player. What he hadn’t told them is that he’s legendarily bad. Artie, Percy and Wayne have until Friday to figure out a way to win. They get some cryptic advice along the way from Mr. Merlin and a lot of last-minute help from Gwen.

Theaters: 2,694

MPAA Rating: PG for some crude humor.

Budget: $20 million

Edited by Blankments
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Ready, Player OneGenre: Sci-Fi/ComedyDate: December 12thTheaters: 3,066Director: Ernest Cline (who also wrote the book)Rating: PG-13 for language, stylized scenes of violence, and some drug use.Runtime: 117min (1hr, 57min)Budget: $80,000,000Cast: Johnny Simmons (Wade Watts/Parzival), Penn Bagdley (Aech - In OASIS), Emma Stone (Art3mis), Shota Saito (Shoto), Keita Saito (Daito), Jeff Bridges (Ogden Morrow), David Tennant (Nolan Sorrento)Synopsis: Based on the book, the race is on for an ultimate prize in a virtual world that could change the state of humanity. *Note - Not all of the details of the book are in here, but the main plot points are, for the most part. I couldn't find a full synopsis, so this isn't copy-paste at all. It's pretty much off the top of my head.*

In the near future, the world has gone to hell. Wars are happening all over the place, poverty is occurring everywhere, and a rampant energy crisis is taking over the world. However, most of humanity has locked itself into a perfect escape: OASIS. OASIS is an incredible virtual world developed in the early 21st century by gaming genius James Halliday, who was also a fanatic of pop culture in the 70s and 80s. You can do anything, be anything, and see anything that you could possibly want. All it took was a lifetime registration fee of a quarter. Major businesses and governments have OASIS networks, so it's a way of life for pretty much everyone. However, a big change occurs when James Halliday dies, leaving behind a hidden easter egg within the game. Anyone who found it first would be unspeakably rich and powerful. First, they must open all three gates with the special keys, consisting with 9 challenges in all: 3 to find the key, the gate, and the gate challengeMeet Wade Watts, a teenage nerd who lives his life through OASIS. Living with his cranky Aunt Alice in a stack of trailer homes in Oklahoma, (literally, a stack) the only way to live an ideal life is through the game. He has been obsessed with finding the easter egg with his best friend, an Avatar named Aech. (who was also a white male) They both think of the clues that James has given, all of which are a reference to an item of popular culture in the 70s and 80s. They also follow the blog of Art3mis, a legendary gunter (egg hunter in OASIS) and a woman who both admire. However, there is an evil corporation, Innovative Online Industries, led by Nolan Sorrento, who wants to gain control of OASIS and charge people for this once dirt cheap game, potentially ruining the lives of many.Wade typically connects to OASIS in a far off RV that is currently unoccupied. He uses the avatar Parzival, a level one warrior desperate to find the egg, but still stuck in the OASIS school system. He must begin a journey to find the egg. Throughout the gates, the challenges include re-enacting scenes from classic movies, traving through old video games, and visiting locations that were held close to James Halliday.Against all odds, Parzival is the first person to discover these clues and complete the tasks. As a result, he has gained a great deal of fame for being the first to find it. Along the way of the challenges, he met Art3mis, who seems like a really cool person, but is frustrated that he beat the Tomb challenge on his first try, while she took many tries. She, Aech, and two Japanese "brothers," Shoto and Daito, soon find the gate afterwards & complete the challenge. However, IOI is sending in workers, known as Sixers for their 6-digit names, into the caves, cheating by preventing other players from accessing it and giving special powers to those who access it.Art3mis is trying to avoid Parzival/Wade in an effort to focus soley on the egg hunt, trying to raise the money to solve real world problems. Later on, Nolan Sorrento asks for a meeting with Wade, negotiating a deal that if he finds the egg for the company, he will pay them greatly. He refuses, causing them to blow up the trailer home that he lived in. They had a lot of information, so they had to use it. He survived by being far away, but Aunt Alice and the other people who lived in the trailer were killed. Now, he decides to retreat to Columbus, OH, to find a new place to live, also assuming a new identity to prevent being found by IOI, or was that really the case?Parzival orders a meeting with the other leading gunters in an effort to warn them about IOI's offer. Aech unfortunately offends Shoto & Daito, so they end up leaving. Later on, Ogden Morrow, the co-creator of OASIS, invites the five to a party on his own personal planet in the OASIS world. However, the party is ambushed by Sixers, and people get virtually injured. However, Ogden steps in and saves everyone, while Art3mis leaves early, frustrated with Parzival trying to distract her from her true mission, soon being the first to find the second gate. Parzival manages to play a perfect game of pac man, thinking that it could lead to a clue, but it only gave him a special quarter. Parzival only finds out soon after, able to beat the challenges.However, trouble arises when IOI finds the third gate first. It's actually located in the virtual castle that James Halliday used to have when he was alive, large and exquisite. Even worse, they managed to kill Shoto, both in the game and in real life. However, Wade uses his fake identity to get into debt with IOI and enter an indentured servitude program. He is able to infiltrate the secret files that IOI uses to track down information using illegal codes brought from the black market. He reports these findings to Art3mis, Daito, and Aech, but Odgen also realizes this. He invites everyone is real life to come to his house and use his oasis monitors, where he will help them beat IOI.Parzival is picked up in a bus by a slightly overweight young African American woman. This is actually Aech in real life. She only chose to be a white male because that appeared to be the most attractive for gaining jobs in OASIS. They travel to Ogden's house and connect to OASIS, ready to storm the castle. They need the help of everyone in OASIS who can fight. This isn't about winning the prize anymore. It's to make sure that IOI doesn't. A massive battle occurs at the castle, featuring magical beasts and giant robots fighting to save OASIS for its users. While distracted in the fight. Parzival realizes that three people must open the gate. Daito distracts the guards, while he orders Aech, Art3mis, and Parzival to unlock the gate. They do that, but an epic explosion occurs, killing them instantly.However, the quarter that Parzival had gave him a second life, a nearly unheard of feat in the world of OASIS. Everyone from IOI was also dead, and so were the many gunters present at the scene. He uses it to unlock the gate, where his final challenge is to re-enact scenes from Monty Python & The Holy Grail. After an easy completion, he stumbles upon James Halliday's room. He had won the prize. He was given ultimate riches and complete control over the OASIS. He was also presented with a button that can single-handedly destroy OASIS. James trusts that Wade will make the right choice. Upon hearing of Parzival's victory, every avatar in OASIS begins to cheer.Later on, it's a beautiful day in real life. Wade finally meets Art3mis in real life. She's just as beautiful as she was in the game. They realize that they are truly in love with each other, and in this perfect moment, Wade felt like, for the first time in his life, he didn't need to be on OASIS ever again.

Edited by Spaghetti
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MaZ3 (3D)

Date- January 10th

Genre- Horror Torture

Rating- R

Theaters- 2,993 theaters

Budget- 6 million

Running Time- 109 minutes or 1 hour and 49 minutes

Studio- Number 2 Productions

Director- Darren Lynn Bousman

Actors and Actress- Unknown

Plot: A man is angered because he got humiliated at his job when he got fired. He plots his revenge on his co-workers. He invites them over to his house for a dinner. He invites them into his basement and locks them into a maze where they have to fight for survival. One by one the co-workers are tortured and killed in strange ways. Two for the co-workers manage to survive and call the police. The police arrive and after a battle with the police, the man is killed. The movie is gruesome, gory, and scary.

Edited by Andrew the Alien
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