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darthdevidem01

The Sith Chronicle Year 4 Reviews

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    Sith Chronicle is a brand new news paper launched this year covering juicy gossip for your favorite overlords of the galaxy!!The path breaking magazine is now reviewing CAYOM movies.We will start reviewing movies by month later today!!Best of luck CAYOM...may the force be with you!

    Edited by darthdevidem01
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    JANUARY

    Call Me Maybe:

    5/10 -- The movie clearly takes a lot of inspiration from the famous song. Half the movie is a rom com which drags on a lot. And one wonders how broken Carly’s gaydar is as from the moment Joe is seen it’s pretty darn obvious he’s gay. If the role of Joe & Newton were reversed it would be more compelling. Then suddenly this turned into a survival horror type movie...which isn’t done that bad actually, in fact the 2nd half is very enjoyable. Overall it’s mediocre...not as bad as other critics are calling it.

    MaZ3:

    3/10 -- MaZ3 clearly takes inspiration from some SAW movies which are among the directors past work. But is the movie merely a SAW clone? Not exactly..more like a lower budget clone with far worse actors. Not much else to say except the police in the movie seem like a joke. Did those guys ever go to cop school?? The force is not strong with this one...worst movie of the year so far....much to learn you still have.

    The Homestarmy Invades!:

    6/10 (8/10 for young sith lords) -- Well this was certainly an immune treat that the kids would really love. What we loved most was how familiar popular stuff is used as plot motivation points...my young sith apprentice in training was laughing the whole time! But is it for the family? Probably not.

    Sasquatch 3D:

    5/10 -- An all round mediocre effort. My main issue is when we’re making movies where heroes are born the audience must want to root for the main character. This never happened with me for Peter & big foots just aren’t that lovable unfortunately (though love is forbidden for us sith). Overall just about every scene will seem like you’ve seen it before. What the movie really needed was human engagement, a relationship. Maybe if it does well a sequel could bring us that.

    The Immune:

    8/10 -- The first truly good movie of the year. It’s an emotional & thrilling ride overall. The chemistry between the little girl & Jason is remarkable, at the end your screaming for him to adopt her, and of course he does. What would have elevated this movie would’ve been a bit more character development on Jason. We love Ryan Gosling....and we like Jason but we wanted to love him more. The force is strong with this one...best movie of the year so far.

    A Stark Night:

    8/10 -- Back to back awesomness. As a big batman fan (lots of time to read comics while pretending to study sith holocrons tehehe) this movie was great to me. So many small things that made me laugh and go..”Ohhh what a nice nod to the saga”...especially the bits where George Clooney is ignored. This is sure to be a crowd pleaser. Balanced the force is now...tied best movie of the year so far with The Immune.

    Columbine:

    8.5/10 -- This movie has created quite the controversy with mixed reviews & angry parents at the realistic found footage material. For me though Columbine is a great great movie. The found footage provides a very realistic portrayal of that tragic day. Not to mention due to the nature of the prevalence of social media/mobiles & whatnot at high schools it kind of fits the theme too. Yes some emotional moments would’ve been better if they weren’t in found footage but ultimately the movie is brutally honest & thrilling from start to finish. The found footage captured snippets of this tragedy as memories of how many people would remember it. The performances are great & it will make you shed many a tear. Best movie of the year so far.

    Lady Gaga: Born This Way 3D:

    4/10 -- Usual concert movie type spectacle. For the fans really, I’m not a fan so don’t read my review if you love Gaga.

    __________________________

    Ranking For January:

    1. Columbine

    2. The Immune

    3. The Stark Night

    4. The Homestarmy Invades!

    5. Call Me Maybe

    6. Sasquatch 3D

    7. Lady Gaga Born This Way 3D

    8. Maz 3

    Edited by darthdevidem01
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    FEBRUARY

    Bone: Vernal Equinox:

    8/10 -- A very ambitious movie in its scope & it pulls it off very well. You are really taken into a different magical world full of funny, charming & quirky characters. Looking forward to more from the franchise in the future.

    Madea's Valentine:

    2/10 -- Lo & behold we have a contender for MaZ3 for the worst movie of the year. Overall the plot seems like it’s been done many many times before and honestly it seems like a cheap grab in for Valentines. Maybe it will be if Forever Yours turns out to be terrible.

    Unbalanced:

    9/10 -- The greatest horror movie of the modern generation.

    Story 1 - Wow what a thrilling ride. Gives you memories of paranormal activity in part. Now the odd twist is there being nothing supernatural in this tale, it’s simply the maintenance man sneaking in. The ending is thrilling, scary & it’s made me afraid to sleep at night alone. And I’m a sith lord!!!!

    Story 2 - Things remain spooky in story 2. Well done and unpredictable..adds supernatural elements in.

    Story 3 - Very scary, especially the final moments where I almost fell of my chair in fear. This story really likens back to horror stories about clowns and pulls a nice twist on the subject.

    Story 4 - The best story thus far as it’s more psychological horror. Very very compelling chemistry between Mason & the narrator. The ending is extremely scary but somewhat bittersweet as we wanted them to be together forever. However the shocking realization of the consequences of the end is both frightening, disgusting and shocking.

    Story 5 - Oh so they actually do an official story about a clown. No matter the resolution is once again pretty spooky. This is definitely the weakest story though, seeing it more developed, for example the kids talking about the clown in their nightmares before sleeping would’ve added panache to the tale.

    Story 6 - A fabulous finish as we finally get some gore.

    So overall this is my fav horror movie of the last many years. I am a big horror movie fan and feel when done right they can be the most spellbinding and amazing cinematic experiences. This was. Best movie of the year....Darth Vader Force Choke of Approval! Darth vader will force choke you if you don't see it...

    Pokemon: Rise of the Rockets:

    8/10 -- A drop in quality over the previous installment but a good entertainer nonetheless. What I find both loving & annoying about the movie is kind of the same thing. Yes the plot is there, but I feel the main one is weak. The real interesting stuff is going on behind the scenes and not being focussed on too much. But on the other hand this gives the world a real feel of being a “world”...not just a film set where we are spoon fed everything. The focus of the film is clearly Stephanie and how she’s developing as a character and a trainer along with her pokemon whilst countering the threat of Team Rocket. For that the movie does a great job. The action scenes are creatively well done, I must say though the Snorlax wasn’t well done visually. One misses the lack of legendaries (even though we're getting some hints on Mewtwo), but they may just overshadow everything else so I guess I see why they're being avoided at the moment. We were just left wanting a bit more.

    Forever Yours:

    7/10 -- A by the books romance that never really enthralls you completely. I found it difficult to get attached to the characters as despite good performances everything felt too mechanical, which is a shame as we had good actors here. The shining star of the movie is Abigail who we see grow up from being a baby to being a mature young woman who cares for her father at the end which is sure to get a tears from the audience. All in all...good..no more.

    Six Souls 3D:

    4/10 -- Coupled with an interesting twist and some truly horrifying moments Six Souls isn’t bad if you are dying to see a horror movie. All in all though this simply isn’t a good movie.

    Army of Two:

    5/10 -- Mediocrity seems to be the theme of the week. Army of Two gives us some good action, even if some is generic. But the story is the big issue, it’s quite frankly boring & underdeveloped. The videogames story was even worse though, so in that sense it’s an improvement.

    Phone Conversations with Mother:

    7/10 -- A good movie in all, funny, comical & hits you at the right moment. Jim Parsons is amazing in it and keeps you laughing every time he talks. It being the first comedy in a while you should go & see it.

    City of Darkness:

    6/10 -- Good premise, decent acting and decent action. But the script, story & villain are all terrible so it’s hard to save this movie from turning into above average fare.

    _________________

    Ranking for February:

    1. Unbalanced

    2. Bone: Vernal Equinox

    3. Pokemon : Rise Of The Rockets

    4. Phone Conversations With Mother

    5. Forever Yours

    6. City Of darkness

    7. Army Of Two

    8. Six Sould 3D

    9. Madeas Valentine

    Edited by darthdevidem01
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    March

    39 Steps:

    5/10 -- A disappointing adaptation of the award winning play. I felt the story moved abruptly and the movie overall seemed to lack cohesion and flow....everything seemed to get lost in the middle. It’s hard to even see if the actors were taking the movie seriously. The comedy fell flat many times. Overall it’s a bundle of galactic mediocrity.

    The Conondrum:

    7/10 -- Leave your brains at home when going to see this sci-fi comedy. The hilarity really begins once the villains from the past come in. Everyone acts like this is a comedy movie and it fits well with the themes. The funniest scenes include seeing Gandhi give a non-violence lecture to Ivan the terrible. So yeah a great movie for families as children will love the goofiness & adults will love the golden nuggets. We feel the budget would’ve done better by being higher as some of the dinosaurs looked really bad.

    Dawn of Souls II: Rebirth:

    6/10 -- My most anticipated film of the year thus far and it’s a crushing disappointment. Yes the film looks amazing, the sets, the costumes, the action scenes...everything looks very very epic & well made. But the story, the insignificance of it, and the characters aren’t very good. It’s a perfect case of beauty, but only skin deep. While the premise for the story is great very little is done with it and it seems character development is swapped for the next “spectacle” action scene. The movie is much shorter than the first, smaller in scale and there is no world or character development. It feels like a cheap cash in on the success of the first film. The ending was well done though and felt somewhat satisfying. I hope Perseus leaves the Dawn Of Souls world alone now.

    On the Set:

    9/10 -- Hand down one of the best documentaries I’ve seen. It really illustrates how movies are made, using popular examples & compelling interviews to display its points.

    Sylvarius:

    9.5/10 -- Bravo! A all round spectacular movie. It’s emotional, it’s gripping, it’s fun & it’s exciting. You care about the strong female lead lead by a very competent Watson and the rest of the characters do a fine job. The movie uses many ticks & tropes you usually see in childrens adventures but the art direction, script & feel make it all seem new and unique. This is as close to a 4-quadrant movie as we’ve had in a long time. At times I wished it was live-action. My only slight complaint is that I felt the 3rd act felt slightly rushed. The ending was really great & leaves us with an iconic image of a griffin following a charming old style train. This gets a Emperor Palpatine stamp of approval.

    The Lost Planet of the Sleeping Creature:

    3/10 -- So you know how amazing Sylvarius is, well this is the same..except in “bad” terms. The low budget means the effects look like they came from the dark ages and everything is just...awful.

    Illusionio 2:

    6/10 -- Pretty above average fare. Farell’s character Marwick stole the show for us with his scenes. Apart from that the way the world was improved and developed is impressive, however the plot and ending fail to live up to promise.

    ___________

    Ranking for March:

    1. Sylvarius

    2. On The Set

    3. The Conundrum

    4. Dawn Of Souls II : Rebirth

    5. Illusionio 2

    6. 39 Steps

    7. The Lost Planet of The Sleeping Creature

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    April

    Weird Al Yankovic: Insert Title Here in 2-D:

    3/10 -- A simple parody over concert movies. There are times when the film is funny but one has to wonder, in a world where nowadays parodies are superior than many films in a given genre, this movie ends up being the word concert movie of all time. Maybe that was the intention and is basically what the movie aimed for creatively. Maybe the producers are having the last laugh.

    Mermaid:

    7/10 -- A charming feel good movie that surprisingly delivers till the end. What’s the secret? The story is more cliche-ridden than a B-grade anime...but the characters stand out. There are some true human moments here and some great themes which resonate with us. That along with the surprisingly good score by make it intriguing. The special effects are majorly lacking and this is maybe the worst 3D I’ve seen all year. A good swim for all ages...

    Best Friends Forever:

    7.5/10 -- A surprisingly thrilling & emotional rollercoaster that surprises you with how the characters behave. The entire audience let out a scream as the traumatized young girl who had just seen her mother being killed actually stabs her father with a slight smirk. Excellent acting by both the girls is the core strength of the movie. I usually have an apathy for any movie with FOREVER in the title, but this one is an interesting ride. Don’t take children.

    Decker:

    8.5/10 -- The first great childrens entertainer of the year. while Sylvarius was a great all round family entertainer we get our first hilarious, funny & fanatastical childrens movie for the year. And it’s actually great. It follows on from many animations on talking vehicles, and actually turns out better than most. The three main characters are charming & Arthur the old bus steals scenes & his death is one of the most sad moments in cinema this year....the girl next to me in the audience was weeping. The second half shows many themes of new replacing the old & it’s just very interesting to see one movie alone handle this. Then the whole Queen’s bus competition part is very charming & well done. It’s great to see the Potter trio together once more...don't listen to the other reviews....go and see it!

    Paranoia 2:

    7/10 -- A honest sequel to the gruesome first movie. Many characters stories build up satisfactorily & the kills are more gruesome than ever. The plot resolutions are intriguing and make you think back & say, “ahh so that’s why he said that” many times which is the sign of a good script. Recommended for horror fans & for fans of the first flick. I wonder if horror will continue to follow Jessica?

    Death of a Strawberry:

    6/10 -- I have no words left to say. I guess it’s different. The only reason I give it an above average score is because there is at least some creativity in here!

    Service:

    5/10 -- Ricky Gervais...how the mighty have fallen. Instead of getting a laughing riot we get a cliche ridden, fall flat comedy bonanza!

    __________________

    Top 5 Ranking for April:

    1. Decker

    2. Best Friends Forever

    3. Paranoia 2

    4. Mermaid

    5. Death of a Strawberry

    Edited by darthdevidem01
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    May

    Divisions:

    8/10 -- Poised to be a opening summer blockbuster & my most anticipated film of the year after Dawn of Souls. So does the movie live up to my expectations? Yes & No.

    The movie treads on a very familiar premise. Humanity is close to an end, a ship is sent from Earth to a new habitable planet. How will the human race cope there? That’s the question asked by the movie & it explores it thoroughly. What the movie is great at doing is being a character study at what happens when humans are left on their own & are pressurized by nature. The acting in the movie is great, the script is great & the music is fitting. What is lacking here is a true sense of adventure one came to expect, but maybe we were looking in the wrong place. There are moments in the movie that brought me to tears, the child actor is a true find! See it for the gritty & realistic portrayal of this subject matter.

    The Flash:

    8.5/10 -- The Flash is the greatest summer blockbuster thus far. This origin story treads on very familiar ground but the fantastic action visuals, innovative use of the superpowers in the movie, great score & nice performances make it seem fresh. This is a fantastic start to the DCU & we eagerly anticipate the two more movies they have lined up. The ending scene makes us think a Justice League is coming up...we sure hope so!! Bring on a sequel! P.S. Bradley Cooper we love you.

    Call of Duty: Of Their Own Accord:

    8.5/10 -- A good sequel that doesn’t quite match up to the thrilling spectacle that was the first. The best thing about this movie is the action, it’s why we’re watching it...we feel it kind of takes the plot a bit too seriously at times. However that said the story does stick with you after the movie & it is a thrilling ride. With this movie the franchises direction is clear...they just don’t want to be about the action. They want to deliver a complex story. Respect earned.

    Once Upon a Mattress:

    8/10 -- Wow May has been great. So this is a musical that gets it right. We love the actors, we love their voices & we love the art direction. The story never gets you bored even if it feels a bit bare bones at points. A must see for the family to take their mind off the relentless action movies we’re getting this month.

    Battle Mars 3D:

    4/10 -- A pitiful attempt to make money. As galactic warriors we know how battles on distant sandy planets can be. This movie was neither fun, gripping nor entertaining. Only watch if you have won the lottery.

    Bohemian:

    7/10 -- An honest portrayal of the classic song by Queen. Fans of the song will be enthralled by the movie...people who haven’t much love for the song may just find this one of the most bizarre films they’ll see. Among the myriad of flashbacks, odd scenes, double meaning lines & bizarre action one feels that this is truly something of an artistic vision coming to life. The integration of the chaos the song speaks of into the film narrative in a multitude of ways is interesting. Go watch the film if you love the song or if you want to write a paper for film school.

    Our City:

    8.5/10 -- This movie had so much potential that we felt was partially wasted. The entire premise was very original and brilliant & the use of 3D very innovative and pretty damn fantastic. The big problem for us is the major lack of development the characters have, major people introduced very late into the story which reduces the effect the final revelation has up to some extent. So overall this movie felt like something was missing, it’s like a whole act was chopped out. But maybe we feel that way as we felt despite all the tools for a classic being there, we just got a very good movie instead.

    ___________

    Top 5 for May:

    1. The Flash

    2. Our City

    3. Call of Duty : Of Their Own Accord

    4. Divisions

    5. Once Upon a Mattress

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    Thanks for the Division review. Kinda anticipated this type of reaction, it's far from the tradition first week of May fare. :lol: And, the Child actor's the guy from There Will Be Blood, gave a really good performance there. :D

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    Thanks for the Division review. Kinda anticipated this type of reaction, it's far from the tradition first week of May fare. :lol: And, the Child actor's the guy from There Will Be Blood, gave a really good performance there. :D

    Indeed it was very different from traditional May fare! And in a good way.

    Thanks for the Decker review. I consider you as a top critic lol

    lol I just saw a TV ad for Decker with my review on it..cool!
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    June

    The Rebel Prince:

    0/10 -- There was no story...only the words COMING SOON were written on the screen the whole time.

    MIdnight: Children of the Damned:

    5/10 -- Convoluted script if I ever saw one. The acting isn’t very good & in the end you end up thinking is anyone really human at all? With all the twists & turns I was surprised that wasn’t revealed. The film could’ve been much better.

    Taking Names:

    8.5/10 -- A fabulous summer action comedy. Channing Tatum is very charming in this role where he’s a popular movie star out to get an oscar, but ends up turning into a real life action hero. Seein shootouts on hollywood sets was intriguing as well as the angle on how the public views Gunn as he does these deeds. This is a good, fun summer movie.

    Booster Gold:

    8/10 -- A comedy superhero movie that actually works. We found the character pretty good and on the surface the movie brings out innovative ideas compared to The Flash. However ultimately we felt the action was somewhat lacking which made us rate the movie a notch below Mays Superhero Blockbuster, The Flash. We love the references to old and future movies in this.

    Giant Spiders:

    7/10 -- A usual horror movie which is kind of unique because it tried to parody B-movies. The movie is very very explicit in just about every way that you can be explicit. Overall this movie can be appreciated by people dying for a feel of some old age horror, or horny teens!

    Rivals: The Abyss:

    5/10 -- Another disappointing sequel for Year 4. Though the drop in quality this one sees is the greatest. The shining light for me in the first movie was Thomas, now his character does a complete 180 (yes the reasons are justifiable) and this ruins much of the movie for me. Rivals : The Abyss seems to be written by a different script writer, gone is the magic the first film had, gone is the compelling narrative, gone are the characters you fall in love with. The saving grace is the beautiful aerial shot at the end of the kingdoms, is this where all the budget was spent?

    Spark:

    9/10 -- Contending for best movie of the year easily. Seriously with Sylvarius out I thought no animated movie can be this good. But this not only almost matches Sylvarius but also proves to be the best superhero movie of the summer! The action, narrative, characters...everything is compelling. We want a sequel NOW!

    Edited by darthdevidem01
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