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Ezen Baklattan

CAYOM V - The Academy Awards

  

12 members have voted

  1. 1. What film will win Best Picture?

    • Dawn Of Oblivion (Creator)
      2
    • The Dogs Of Babel (Blankments)
      1
    • Eccentric Minds (Spaghetti)
      3
    • Oro (Riczhang)
      1
    • The Shark Mutiny (Numbers)
      1


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*Two comfort counselors (Danny Pudi and Donald Glover) stands up in an office-like room and speak.*

Pudi - “Okay everyone! Welcome to the annual support group for Best Picture snubs!”

Glover - “We’re here to make all of you feel better, despite this unfortunate situation, so let’s start with an ice breaker. Let’s start with you, Sam.”

*We see characters of snubbed films clapping lightly, albeit without much care; Characters from Past Tense, Hindenberg, Worlds Apart, Corso, Everyman, Empty Hearth, and so on are present.”

Samuel Richter (Empty Hearth) - “When I wasn’t nominated for best picture, my heart just....broke. Doesn’t everyone love when I act in important time periods of US History?”

Eugen Bentile (Hindenberg) - “Big deal! World history is where it’s at. Besides, my movie got me, Channing Tatum, an oscar nomination! I will be forever known as Oscar Nominee Channing Tatum! No movie could have ever done that before now! Hindenberg should be nominated on that account!”

George Irvine Jr. (Worlds Apart) - “All of you have no idea what it’s like for me! I’ve just got tech nominations in my name!”

*The three begin to bicker as Pudi and Glover intervene.*

Pudi - “Okay everyone, this is getting a little out of hand! How about we do some role playing?”

Glover - “Great idea! I’ll pick pairs! George, you can work with Napoleon (Corso), Eugen can go with Sam, and we’ll match up Peter Kata (Catharsis) and Giant Spider #6.”

*Samuel and Eugen re-enact a scene from each other’s movies. Sam moves really slowly to make fun of Hindenberg’s long run time, and Eugen does likewise. Sam criticizes him not for insulting his movie, but not even being very creative about it.*

*George Irvine speaks in rather weak French, soon imitating The Artist and performing a black and white dance number, while Napoleon mocks how Worlds Apart played second banana to Dawn Of Oblivion as the end-of-times epic.*

*Each role play ends up in a comical fight.*

Glover - “Okay, things are getting too tense! Let’s see if Peter and the Giant Spider can get along nicely.

Peter Kata - “Throught the history of Rome, we have all been like petals of flowers, just blowing in the wind...”

*Everyone else groans*

Peter Kara - “But perhaps the most beautiful thing about the bond between Italy and nature is...”

*A Giant Spider attacks Peter Kata, to which he screams. The spider soon begins raping Peter off screen, and everyone looks on in horror. Napoleon vomits.*

Walter (Past Tense) - “Oh my god, is he raping him? Do something, Jack!”

Jack Reacher (The Affair) - “Give me a second.”

*Jack pulls out a gun and fires a shot.*

Walter - “Whoa! You killed Peter, not the giant rapist insect!”

Jack - “What? His philosophical nonsense was getting on my nerves.”

*Suddenly, we see a car crash into the office, and characters from the best picture nominees, Elizabeth Silvette, Adam,Dan Headley, Gonzalo Pizarro, and Paul Iverson are all acting cocky in the van, mocking the snubbed characters.*

Pudi - Oh, not this again.

Gonzalo Pizarro - “Oh, look at Hindenberg and Corso! They do not recreate history as well as ‘yo.’”

Dan Headley - “Pizarro, please. They do not do anything as well as us!”

Adam - “James Cameron gets you places, so sucks for you!”

Paul Iverson - “And my movie has pathos! With a dog! I bet you can’t beat that!”

*Elizabeth says nothing, merely having a drink of tea.*

Glover - “Can you guys just go?”

Walter - “Look, it’s the president of the AMPAS!”

*The five characters soon rush out in excitement, leaving the big hole in the wall.*

Pudi - “Well, that wraps up our session. Should we leave, Troy?”

*Glover Nods*

Pudi and Glover - “TROY AND ABED AT THE OSCARS!”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It’s time for the 5th annual academy awards, hosted by Danny Pudi and Donald Glover!”

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Pudi - "So Donald, we're finally living the dream."

Glover - "Uh, no. We're not riding on velociraptors that barf rainbows with Liam Neeson."

Pudi - "Okay, maybe it's just my dream to host the oscars."

Glover - "Eh, this is still pretty awesome."

Pudi - "So, people are probably waiting for the first award."

Glover - "Perhaps."

Pudi - "Yes, they are."

*pause*

Glover - "Okay, we're just stalling for time. We should go."

Pudi - "Okay."

-------------------------

The first award, Best Art Direction, will be presented by Leonardo DiCaprio.

It's amazing what effect the set has on leading the look of a film. An amazing set can really set the tone and scope for a film, and five films excelled in this field over the last year. Here are the nominees:

DAWN OF OBLIVION

DRAGON AGE: ONSLAUGHT

HINDENBERG

ORO

WORLDS APART

And the oscar goes to....

ORO

Art Directors of Oro: Working with Spielberg on this magnificent picture was a once in a lifetime experience. This is just icing on the cake. Art Direction is quite an important field in creating the film, and we put a great deal of effort into this. Thank you all for this wonderful award.

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As a note, I'm saving all of the ranking for the very end.

The next award, Best Costume Design, is presented by Miss Piggy of The Muppets.

Costumes are so very pretty! So many movies had great costumes this year, but these are my five favorites! They're oh so pretty, but not as pretty as my Kermie! Here are the nominees for Best Costume Design.

CORSO

DRAGON AGE: ONSLAUGHT

THE ONCE & FUTURE KIND: THE SWORD IN THE STONE

ORO

STARCRAFT: FURY OF THE SWARM

And the winner is..............

ORO

Costume Designer of Oro: Two for two? Brace yourselves! This is going to be a fun night for us! All aside, it's been a very strong and exciting year for costumes, and my competition has been absolutely excellent. I'd like to thank everyone for this glorious award.

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The first song, "Above The Cloud" from Hindenberg, is performed.

To complete the design circuit, here is Emma Stone presenting Best Makeup.

With Hollywood make up, we can become pretty much whatever we want to be. From aliens to vampires to explorers, to....oh wait, a lot of those are CGI?! Well, this is awkward. Still, make-up is awesome! Here are the nominees for best makeup.

DRAGON AGE: ONSLAUGHT

THE ONCE & FUTURE KING: THE SWORD IN THE STONE

ORO

STARCRAFT: FURY OF THE SWARM

STORIES FROM EDEN

And the winner is........

DRAGON AGE: ONSLAUGHT

Makeup Artist in Dragon Age: Elves, warriors, and so much more. There's so much variety in the make-up of Dragon Age: Onslaught. I'd like to thank all of you for this excellent honor. This will be a fun night.

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Julianne Moore is here to present Best Supporting Actor.

It's been an incredible year for acting, although most of the credit goes to the leading man and lady. The supporting performances are vital to the success of a movie as a whole, so here are the nominees for Best Supporting Actor.

BRYAN CRANSTON IN THE DOGS OF BABEL

As a scientist who claims to give dogs the ability to speak the English language

AARON ECKHART IN THE NEXT DIMENSION

As an evil man with big plans upon discovering another dimension

ED HARRIS IN THE SHARK MUTINY

As a retired officer forced to once again deal with a naval crisis

TOMMY LEE JONES IN EMPTY HEARTH

As a California sheriff whose past love moves to the hands of someone else

CHANNING TATUM IN HINDENBERG

As an able mechanic working on the infamously doomed zeppelin

And the winner is...

BRYAN CRANSTON FOR THE DOGS OF BABEL

Well, this is a favorable turn of events. I'd like to thank Ron for placing me in this incredible role, and Jason and Elizabeth for being incredible actors, as well as friends. Thanks for this award.

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Glover - "Isn't it kind of early to be doing the acting categories?"

Pudi - "Why yes, I suppose it is."

Glover - "So why are we doing it?"

Pudi - "Because peoples' oscar predictions rely on these categories!"

Glover - "Fair enough......wanna do another?"

Pudi - "Of course."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next award, Best Voice Performance In A Supporting Role is presented by Kristen Schaal.

First, why am I not here for Shiverin' Gulch?! This is nonsense. Well, I guess that these guys were pretty good too, I guess. So, here are the nominees for best award-thief. I mean, um, nevermind.

DANIEL CRAIG FOR RACHET & CLANK

As an evil emperor with goals for galactic domination

IDRIS ELBA FOR SHIVERIN’ GULCH

As a slave who soon finds himself in a matter that could endanger a western city

JON HAMM FOR STARCRAFT: FURY OF THE SWARM

As an alien leader who appears dark, but is truly a hero

JOSEPH GORDON LEVITT FOR LUCID

As a hallucination of a friend who must help him through a dream world

J.K. SIMMONS FOR PSYCHONAUTS

As a militant camp counselor with a troubled past and a sinister plot.

And the winner is.....

J.K. SIMMONS FOR PSYCHONAUTS

J.K. Simmons: Well, thank you all. Psychonauts was a awesome experience. See you later.

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The next nominated song, "Don't Look Back" from The Affair, is performed.

The next award is Best Sound Mixing & Sound Editing presented by Steve Carell.

So...a lot of people have asked the academy, "Wait, sound is presented in two awards? What?!" Well, sound is quite important, and without it, I would be like -------------------------------------------------. Here are the nominees for Best Sound Mixing.

DAWN OF OBLIVION

HINDENBERG

ORO

THE SHARK MUTINY

STARCRAFT: FURY OF THE SWARM

And the winner is.....

HINDENBERG

Sound Mixers of Hindenberg: Well, this is quite a surprise! We'd like to thank the academy, as well as Bryan Singer for his incredible support of us. Also, we can now say that this is an Oscar winning film!

And the nominees for Sound Editing are.............................exactly the same as above.

The winner is...

DAWN OF OBLIVION

Tech award #1 for us! We'd like to thank, quite frankly, the people who noticed this! So we'd like to thank all of you! Fingers crossed for the rest of the evening!

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The third song, "Letting Go" from Worlds Apart, is performance.

The next award, Best Cinematography, is presented by Wally Pfiser.

Camera work is an art. I'm proud to work in this field, as well as to present five of these incredible artists in my similar field. Here are the nominees this year.

DAWN OF OBLIVION

EMPTY HEARTH

ORO

THE SHARK MUTINY

WORLDS APART

And the winner is...

EMPTY HEARTH

Cinematographer: With all of this competition, including a James Cameron film for Pete's sake! We loved to include full heart into each shot, and we're ecstatic that the academy chose us as the best of the year.

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*Pudi is crying.*

Glover - Oh god, what's wrong?

Pudi - Spellforce is over!!!

Glover - So, there are other franchises.

Pudi - You mean The Vast Dark? Likely bet.

Glover - But what about Chuck Norris & Liam Neeson?

Pudi - That's over too! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Glover - Okay, how about we see what Spellforce was nominated for?

Pudi - I'd like that.

-----------------------------------------

Best Visual Effects will be presented by Zach Galifinankis.

This is the category where we make sh%t blow up. Here are the nominees for Best Visual Effects.

DAWN OF OBLIVION

HINDENBERG

SPELLFORCE: SHADOW OF THE PHOENIX

STARCRAFT: FURY OF THE SWARM

WORLDS APART

And the winner is.....

DAWN OF OBLIVION

VFX Designers Of DoO: Well, being on a large scale really pays off! We'd like to thank all of you for this incredible honor, and we hope to embark on another project that has a much scope, as much emotion, as Dawn of Oblivion. Thank you all.

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