CAYOM Year 7: Part 1

[Alpha]

Move Martian Chronicles to March 21.

[Ezen Baklattan]

Got a lot of stuff to move...The Mind Behind The Movies - December 8thExtrasensory - August 4thTime - August 18thThe Rich & Famous - September 15thThe Terrible Plight Of Freddy Zapper - April 14thThe Doppleganger - May 12th

[Ezen Baklattan]

ADVENTURE TIME:

The Battle For Ooo

 

Genre: Animation/Adventure/Sci-Fi/Comedy/Musical

Date: September 29^th

Theaters: 3,053

Director: Pendleton Ward

Cast: Jeremy Shada (Finn), John DiMaggio (Jake), Niki Yang (BMO/Lady Raincorn), Hynden Walch (Princess Bubblegum), Olivia Olson (Marceline), Pendleton Ward (Lumpy Space Princess / Forest Wizard), Tom Kenney (The Ice King), Justin Roiland (Lemongrab), Kit Harrington (James), Allison Brie (Light Princess), Bruce Campbell (Finn’s Dad), Catherine Keener (Finn’s Mom)

Composers: Casey James Basichi and Tim Kiefer

Rating: PG for cartoon action, some thematic material, comic mischief, and mild language

Budget: $30 million

Runtime: 87min (1hr, 27min)

 

The Story of a 14-year old boy with an awesome hat, his shape shifting dog, a magical kingdom, and a grave threat to it that draws unlikely allies together. More about the show here: http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Adventure_Time

 

The sun rises over the home of Ooo’s bravest heroes: Finn the human and his companion, Jake the dog. They have nothing to do today, and they can’t think of any good adventures to go on or princesses to rescue, so Finn becomes dissapointed that he has nothing to do, which rarely ever happens for the two. He soon realizes how much fun a day to themselves can be, and they begin to beatbox while doing many leisurely activities (“The Free Day Beatbox.”) As they are relaxing on their couch after the song, Peppermint Butler, the loyal butler of Princess Bubblegum in the candy kingdom, runs into the house, out of breath. He tells them that they need to report to the Candy Kingdom immediately, as something terrible has happened. Finn begins to panic, and he calls Jake to get going. Jake, however, would rather keep resting, as he is too tired to do very much. Finn grabs him and says that he can ride in his pocket. Jake sighs and shrinks down to fit into Finn’s pocket, and the three of them leave.

 

As Finn and Jake arrive in the kingdom, they are surprised to find it rather empty, only increasing their fear. Peppermint Butler guides them to the castle, saying that Princess Bubblegum is waiting inside. Finn holds his breath, as he and Jake walk through the doors to enter a pitch black space. The doors soon close, leaving a scene of darkness. Suddenly, the lights come up, and a vast array of candy people and other creatures shout, “SURPRISE!” It turns out that Princess Bubblegum wanted to hold a surprise party for Finn & Jake for having saved Ooo for the 100^th time, and she wanted to give a signal of appreciation to these heroes. Also present are Lumpy Space Princess, BMO, Lady Raincorn, Marceline the Vampire Queen, Flame Princess, and other characters who appeared throughout the series. Jake begins to dance with the crowd, as Finn talks to the Flame Queen. She says that she helped Princess Bubblegum plan the party, even though she had a few disagreements. (We see a humorous flashback of Flame Princess and Princess Bubblegum fighting.) Finn, remembering his flame protection, leans in to kiss her, only to hear a startling noise.

 

Suddenly, a giant robot crashes into the castle and causes everyone to panic. Princess Bubblegum soon notices the unconscious bodies on the giant gumball guardians protecting the city lying on the ground. The robot soon lifts up Princess Bubblegum, but Finn and Jake try to stop it. Alas, they cannot, and the robot gets away with the captured princess. Finn looks down in shame as he thinks about how he failed to rescue the princess. This scene involves much melodrama, including a dramatic, “NO!!” Jake tells him to cheer up, and that they can get her back. Finn soon realizes that there’s only one person with an unhealthy obsession with princesses: The Ice King. Finn says that this should be rather simple, and he and Jake head off to fight this evil Ice wizard. Meanwhile, Lemongrab, the strangely tempered lemon-headed royal figure, is reluctantly elected as the leader of the kingdom while the princess is gone, while Finn leaves a note that he smells like two dog buns, causing him to scream.

 

We cut to the Ice King, who is sitting on his chair with his penguin comanion, Gunther, on his lap. He is stroking him like he was a James Bond villain petting a cat, but he’s merely watching soap operas and humming the song that Finn & Jake were singing at the beginning. Finn and Jake soon crash in and begin to beat him up using martial arts. Finn demands to know where he’s keeping the Bubblegum Princess, while the Ice King says that he must be mistaken. He didn’t kidnap her at all. Finn shouts, “lies!” and beats him up more, while the Ice King still insists that he’s innocent, and how he’s three months princess sober. Jake tells Finn to stop, realizing that the Ice King might actually be telling the truth. The Ice King says that he saw a giant robot come through the Ice Kingdom, and he caused much damage, showing the two heroes. Finn is shocked, and he realizes that the Ice King was right. He still disliked the Ice King for all of the bad things he’s done, but he returns to the candy kingdom.

 

Finn tells everyone that the Ice King was actually not involved in this, and that something else took her, much to his surprise. He’s soon decided to form a legion of brave Ooo citizens to come with him to rescue the princess. Marceline, Lumpy Space Princess, BMO, and Lady Raincorn (in Korean) agree to come, as well as Flame Princess. The Ice King soon comes to them, asking if he can come along too. Finn refuses without little hesistation, even though The Ice King begs him to let him come. Finn reluctantly accepts him, but only if he doesn’t do anything evil. The Ice King grins, looking at Marceline. She looks the other way, still thinking about something. The citizens sing, “An Extraordinary Band Of Heroes” as the team begins their adventure.

 

The band of heroes begins their journey, as Marceline suspects that the robot might have gone in a specific direction, and Finn is amazed that she can tell this. She says that she just has good intuition, guiding them away from the fact that there are giant footprints in the direction that she pointed in. They begin their journey as they get lost in a vast forest with very little food supplies. It seems like they need to find a place to rest. All of the sudden, they find a group of animals, including a goose, fox, and two bears. They recognize Finn as the person who made their lives better, and they call forth the other animals to celebrate the return of this man. Jake asks Finn what’s going on, while Finn says asks Jake to remember when he told him those stories, he actually may have done a little more than that. They are guided to the forest wizard’s hut, which appears to be a colorful and magical place in the forest. Marceline is pleased at the fact that all of them can refresh here, and how they’re actually getting a decent nights rest for once, while Lumpy Space Princess loves the fact that the forest wizard can make natural beans.

 

However, the forest wizard has a much bigger issue that he needs the heroes help with something. The robot passed through this community, and it certainly wanted to destroy many things. It even left behind some mysterious wolf-like monsters that are terrorizing the forest. He sings, “Please Hear Us Out,” also indicating that many other places have been attacked. He requests that they help him, and that he will aid their journey in return. As the forest wizard finishes his explanation, the gang is ambushed by these wolves, as the animals hide. Finn and Jake naturally begin to attack, but the others use more unconventional strategies. LSP distracts them with her yelling, and Lady Raincorn ties them up, shouting nasty things in Korean. However, the Ice King notices Mrs. Cow with her udder covered by a bag. The Ice King looks inside the bag, gasps, and says that he has an idea (we never see the inside of it.)

 

The Ice King guides Mrs. Cow to the battle, and he tells her to remove her bag. Suddenly, everyone gasps and tells her not to do it. It’s too ugly. Ice King tells everyone that he knows what he’s doing, and that she must remove the bag. Mrs. Cow does so, as everyone closes their eyes. Her udder is actually a giant lump with a goofy face one it. Ice King shoots a beam of ice at this lump, and it creates a blast of cold energy that freezes all of the evil monsters and ends their terror. Everyone is in shocked disbelief after what had just happened, but they cheer for this victory. Finn is surprised at the Ice King’s actions, and he has some more respect for him. The Forest Wizard gives Finn, Jake, and their comrades magical weapons from the forest as a gift, as well as other essential travel supplies. Above all, the wizard presents Finn with a special wand that synchronizes to destroy disharmony. Finn does not understanding, but he believes that he will at a vital moment. The forest wizard says that they have a long journey ahead if they are to end this terror, so they should get a good night of rest. Soon, the creatures of the forest fall asleep, while everyone rests with the forest wizard.

 

The Ice King and Marceline are still awake, however. The Ice King has a bad feeling about this journey, and that people are going to start thinking he's a good guy. He just says that he doesn't want to die, and that this mission may be his only chance at staying alive and perhaps scoring with Princess Bubblegum. He does, however, remember the times when he and Marcy (Marceline) were friends, trying to stay alive in a damaged world a thousand years ago, before the glory of Ooo rose. This leads to a duet, “The Days Before Now.” Meanwhile, we see Princess Bubblegum in a cage with several other rules of the many kingdoms that cover Ooo, as well as other kingdoms across Ooo. They are all sad and scared, while Princess Bubblegum hopes that her heroes will come to her. She has met a princess made up of light, appearing to be very colorful, her colors do not shine as vividly in the current situation. Light Princess says that she knows the man who kidnapped them, and that she thinks that he’s trying to destroy Ooo, perhaps creating another mushroom war like the one that killed the humans. “Right you are,” said a voice.

 

We see a human in extravagant clothing walking out from the shadows, complete with a team of guards behind him. His name is James. James tells everyone that Light Princess is right, and that there isn’t anything that can be done to save this world now. He asks his men to get his things, as he would like to explain his motives in a musical number. He sings, “Humans,” where he sings of a time where humans will be back on top, and that every other creature will be wiped off the planet, creating a “golden” age like the one before Ooo. He is designing special weapons, somewhat similar to nuclear bombs, which may be used to carry this out, and he had also had the authority figures of the continent captured so that they were powerless. They would have to be extremely hopeful that a hero would come along to save them.

 

What follows is a montage of the heroes traveling through several vast landscapres, fighting more monsters and sharing nice moments on their long and intense journey. Jake asks if this last stretch of travel seemed to last a while to anyone else. Finn soon guides the eyes of everyone to a mysterious fortress where giant robots, like the one that captured Princess Bubblegum, are. Finn and Jake know that they can’t disguise themselves, but Marceline asks for a moment. She goes up to a group of guards in the shadows, biting one. This guard is soon controlled, and he tells everyone to let Finn & Jake and their allies pass. Indeed they do so, and the heroes get in without a single glitch. However, James has several guards waiting inside his fortress, and he says that he would not let them win so easily. Before he does this, however, Finn notices James, who is shocked to see another human just like him. James is equally shocked.

 

James tells Finn that he is part of what was the most powerful species to walk the earth, but that he will need his help to regain this power. Finn initially refuses, until James casts a vision spell that shows Finn something mind boggling: his parents. It appears to be an old video of them with Finn as a baby, as they try to keep him safe from the monsters of the Post-Mushroom War world. They are trying to protect their child, but they are in grave danger. They hide the baby in a house, while the parents continue to fight. Finn is shocked at seeing this, seeing as his parents were killed by mysterious creatures, cauing him to be raised with Jake as a child. James said that he took pity on Finn after seeing this tape, and that he would want to get revenge on these monsters. He would also promise that his friends could stay with him even after this evil act. Finn hesitates for a moment, but he sees sense in the end, refusing the offer. James says that he sees, ordering the guards to attack everyone. He also releases his robots across the continent to attack all of Ooo.

 

Finn & Jake and their allies fight the forces of James, and things look bleak for the heroes after some point, and much of Ooo is in a state of fear and terror. (There is one humorous scene with a cinnamon bun guy running around in circles along with tree trunks.) However, Princess Bubblegum and Light Princess notice the wand, and Light Princess says that she recognizes it. It connects the spirits of heroes to vanquish any enemy, no matter how powerful, if the bond between heroes is strong enough. Finn hears this, and he orders everyone to stand behind him. The Ice King refuses, saying that this spell won’t work due to Finn’s grudge against him. Finn says that this isn’t important now, and that the needs of the people matter more. Besides, he had always been a moderately respectable opponent. The Ice King tells him to complement him again, while Finn does so, still trying to implement some immature humor in there. After all of them cast a simultaneous spell using the forest wand that synchronizes their spirits to cast evil away. They use this spell to defeat James and save Ooo.

 

Princess Bubblegum, now saved, thanks these heroes as the bravest in all of Ooo, admitting that she never thought that she would be greatful for the Ice King. He tells her not to worry, as pretending to be nice for so long was rather tiring, and he feels like kidnapping more princesses. Jake happily tells him that he’ll stop him, as if this were a routine. As everyone rejoices, Finn looks down in sadness, remembering his true parents for the first time in ages. Jake tries to console him, saying that he’s still his family. Even so, Finn can’t help but be a little shaken after these events. However, two figures line up in the stars, shaped like Finn’s parents. They tell him how proud they are of all that he has done, and how his bravery has proven itself to this point. They also thank Jake for protecting him up onto this point. They tell him to remain strong and continue his adventures, to grab his friends, and go to distant lands. Finn tells them to stop before they fade, but they disappear, as Finn looks down, trying to hold back tears. He still knows to remain strong after what they had just said, and he tells Jake that he looks forward to seeing what adventures lay on the horizon, as the full cast does an upbeat, power ballad styled finale of The Island Song. 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJczYn2dvm4

 

 

THE END

Edited April 21, 2013 by Spaghetti

[Blankments]

Move Miserable Fans to May 26.

[Blankments]

Among the Hidden

Director: Andrew Niccol
Genre: Young Adult Sci-Fi/Thriller
Date: November 3
Studio: Blankments Productions
Cast: Ty Simpkins as Luke Garner, Ron Perlman as Mr. Garner, Elizabeth Banks as Mrs. Garner, Joey King as Jen Talbot, and Bryan Cranston as Mr. Talbot. Unknowns
Music by: Antonio Pinto
Runtime: 103 min
Tagline: Two children only

Plot: Luke is the third child in his family, the youngest of three brothers, which makes him illegal. Only two children are allowed in each family — additional children are usually prevented from being born or are killed. Luke's family lives on a farm, where isolation and a ready food supply have helped hide Luke. When his family is forced to sell part of their property to the government, a new neighborhood springs up behind their house.

This starts a chain reaction that puts increasing pressure on Luke and his family. Luke can no longer go outside — it's not safe with so many new neighbors. The government decides that Luke's family can no longer raise pigs in addition to their crops, because the smell will offend their wealthy new neighbors. Large, new houses in the area mean their own family's farmland increases in value, which sounds good, but also means an increase in their property tax. With less income and access to food, along with higher bills, Luke's mom must take a factory job to help make ends meet. Then she tries to squeeze a day's worth of chores into the evenings, after working 12-hour shifts.

Meanwhile, Luke is increasingly limited in his activities. First he is unable to go outside, then even into a room with windows (because suspicions are raised by closed window shades). This means he can't join his family at the table for meals, and it becomes difficult for him to carry on a conversation with them from the attic steps. Slowly the isolation the family has been playacting begins to affect the reality of their relationships as well.

Being largely confined to the attic, and alone much of the day, Luke gets cabin fever. Longing for contact with the outside world, he regularly watches the new neighborhood through vents in the attic walls. Doing so, he makes the surprising discovery that one of their neighbors appears to have a third, hidden child as well. One day, after weeks of careful observation and planning, he sneaks over to their house, expecting to slip inside the side door. When he finds the sliding screen locked, he panics. Instead of running back to his own house, he pushes his fist through the screen, unlatches the door and lets himself in.

Inside he finds the neighbors' third child is a girl named Jen, one year older than he is. She is sophisticated and technologically savvy, where Luke is socially isolated and simple. Luke's family is poor, but hers is shockingly rich. Luke and his family are completely cowed by fear of the government, but Jen is brazen in her disdain for them. Jen introduces him to the wider world, filling him in on not only what is happening in society, but why (response to a food crisis) and how to beat the system (mainly bribes). Jen and Luke devise a system where he can visit with her regularly. Their visits bring a new dimension to his life, but one that he can't share with his family.

Jen is counting on the power of a protest to help change the government's policy. She plans a rally outside the president's home, hoping that she, and at least 800 other Shadow children she knows, will shame the government into granting them freedom. Jen assumes Luke will join her at the rally and makes plans accordingly. However, Luke can't bring himself to join her. She tries to convince him otherwise, but once she realizes that he won't join her, she orders him out of her house.

Luke wrestles with his emotions — alternating between anger at Jen and the fear that her allegations of cowardice are true. Ultimately though, he just misses her and the camaraderie they shared. One night he awakens with a start to find her in his room. She apologizes for the way she treated him, thanks him for being a good friend and says goodbye before leaving for the rally.

Luke waits for news in the days to follow, but hears nothing — either on the radio or from Jen in person. Finally, hoping to learn something, he breaks into her house, disarming the security code as she taught him. She is not there, so Luke signs on to the secret chat room, but it, too, is empty. Suddenly, however, Jen's stepfather enters the room with a gun, demanding to know who he is and what he is doing in their house.

Luke explains who he is and how he knew Jen, but her stepfather has devastating news. Jen is dead — the government shot all 40 of the protestors — and hid all evidence of them and the rally. Worse, they were now closely monitoring the chat room, and Luke's search there has triggered an alarm that will surely lead them to Jen's house. From that, they will deduce that another Shadow child lives close by and will search the neighborhood until they find Luke.

Jen's stepfather offers him a fake ID card, which will allow him to start a new life away from his family. This is good news in one sense — staying hidden for the rest of his life seems as maddening as it is impossible. But cutting ties with his family is a high price to pay. Luke wonders how Jen's stepfather can safely offer this to him. He learns that her stepfather is not only a high-ranking government official but also works for the dreaded Population Police, who are hunting the Shadow children. Luke becomes uncertain about who he can trust, and he even picks up a gun to defend himself against Jen's stepfather.

Jen's stepfather is able to talk Luke out of using the gun, but Luke is still trying to process everything when the Population Police pound on the door — arriving much sooner than Jen's stepfather expected. He hides Luke in the closet and buys some them some time with a combination of bluff and bribe. It won't last long though, and Luke must decide what to do.

Ultimately, he decides to accept the offer of a fake ID. He doesn't want to live his life on the run, but he does want to live his life on the outside and help other Shadow children. His hope is that by doing this, he and they will be able to change their society through ingenuity and intellectual contributions — thinking up alternate solutions to the food shortages, etc.

Although this plan does involve leaving his parents, it also means no more secrets for them, which is a relief. He says a painful, but somewhat hopeful goodbye to his family and leaves.

 

Theaters: 3,843
MPAA Rating: PG for thematic content and disturbing images

Budget: $30 million

Edited April 20, 2013 by Blankments Into Darkness

[Ezen Baklattan]

Change the title of Time to, "Seeing Her"

[4815162342]

Celluloid Heroes

Genre: Adventure/Dark Comedy/Romance/Stylized Traditional Animation

Starring The Voices of: Simon Pegg (Kevin), Alan Tudyk (Vince), Nathan Fillion (Frank), Kristen Bell (Mary), Bill Nighy (Acton Impos), Will Arnett (Perry Sinclair), Bruce Campbell (Will/Bruce Campbell), Michelle Lamian (Empowered), with Seth Green (The Triplets), and Magpie as himself

Special Vocal Appearances By (In Alphabetical Order): Nicholas Brendon (Electric), Jim Broadbent (The Creator), Mos Def (Good Boy Chris), Nick Frost (William Bobbit the Jewish Hobbit), Daniel Dae Kim (Ryan Senko), David Tennant (Doc), Benicio Del Toro (The Hunchback), and Morgan Freeman as The Numbers Machine

Written By: Joss Whedon and Edgar Wright
Release Date: 11/10
Theater Count: 3218 theaters
Budget: $92 million
Running Time: 105 minutes
MPAA Rating: R for strong language, sexual references, and graphic cartoon violence

Plot Summary:

The film opens with the audio of three people speaking, all with the same voice (voice of Seth Green). The people are talking about the movie Expedecade, namely the film’s insane amount of plot holes and screw-ups that somehow bothered no one else. We then see three triplets sitting at a diner booth. The three triplets are dressed slightly differently to tell one another apart but otherwise look and sound the same. As they bicker about whether a film, even if objectively bad, can still be retconned by society into a critical darling and award-nominee, the audience sees other mannerisms to identify each of the triplets. One of them seems to like cookies, eating several of them during the conversation, one of them hiccups occasionally, and the third has a queasy expression on his face. Their bickering is finally halted by the arrival of the check, which they split three ways. When it comes time for the tip, the hiccupping one refuses to pay, saying he doesn’t believe in it. The sick-looking one then whacks Hiccup on the back on the head. “Who do you think you are, Steve f***ing Buscemi?!” Sick says, “we’re not in a f***ing movie here, certainly not Reservoir Dogs!”

Cue the three triplets walking down a street coolly just like the iconic opening credits scene from Reservoir Dogs. During the slo-mo, Sick suddenly bends over to the side and throws up, marring the triplets “cool” walk. As Hiccup goes to help him, Cookie stands away and laughs, eating another cookie.

The triplets arrive at a house in the suburbs. When the door opens they burst in with guns. The man who opened the door shouts “Run Billy!” As two of the triplets beat up the man, Hiccup races to the backyard to see a midget with a suitcase running for a fence. The midget has trouble climbing the fence and falls down comically a couple times. Hiccup aims his gun and says “I’m about to take your Lucky Char-” when all of a sudden he hiccups which throws off his aim and his shot misses. The midget escapes. The triplets press the other man for information but get no answers. The door then opens and a man, dressed all in black, walks into the room. The injured man pleads for his life and tells “Frank” that he’ll give him the information. Frank (voice of Nathan Fillion) says “I think we can work something out.” The man then gives some information about the midget’s plan. Frank smiles, thanks the man for his help, and then breaks his neck. Standing up, Frank tells the triplets to search the house for anything useful and then to burn it down. Cookie, brushing off some crumbs, asks why he broke his deal. Frank replies “Oh I kept my word. If he didn’t talk I was going to cut him into little pieces while he was still alive.” Frank then walks out of the house. Cookie then turns to the other triplets and silently mouths “psycho.”

Outside of the house, Frank takes out a cell phone and, speaking to an unheard person, says that they are tracking the “Scripter” and should find it soon.

The film jumps to Kevin (voice of Simon Pegg) and Vince (voice of Alan Tudyk) sitting on a couch in a large room playing a video game while a large number of younger people shout and heckle around them. The two friends taunt one another as they attempt to kill each other’s character. After a minute of showing the raucous atmosphere Vince wins, to the cheers of many of the people. After some gloating from Vince, Kevin says that as a reward for winning, Vince gets to go right back to work along with everyone else. The crowd groans and disperses and Kevin smirks at Vince, saying that there are perks to management.

A bit of exposition shows us that the two friends work for a video game developer, with Kevin a mid-level manager and system designer for the company and Vince a writer for the game’s “script.” Vince brings some tentative dialogue sheets into Kevin’s office to discuss and mixed in with the business we learn more about their friendship. After some talking Mary (voice of Kristen Bell) appears to hand Kevin a memorandum on sales figures. Mary, who is somewhat younger than them and quite pretty, is a recent addition to the marketing department. She talks some marketing figures with Kevin and says he’ll need to deliver on the current project’s promises in order for the company to make the big bucks. She flashes Vince a smile before leaving, Vince staring at her back as she leaves. As he continues to do that, Kevin throws a small Darth Vader paperweight at him. Kevin tells Vince that he needs to get things moving with Mary or he’ll regret it. Vince says he’s worried that Mary is out of his league. Kevin shakes his head and walks Vince to the door of his office. “She’s not out of your league, mate” he says. He then points to Janie, a plain-looking woman with a horrible personality. “Janie is out of your league. Mary is playing an entirely different sport.”

Later that day, Vince acts on Kevin’s advice and finds Mary. After an awkward beginning the two settle into a very friendly talk that culminates in Vince asking Mary out to dinner and Mary accepting. She tells Vince to meet her that night at a local restaurant. As she heads back to her own office, she tells him that she’d been wondering when he’d finally ask.

Afterwards, Vince tries to suavely walk into Kevin’s office but instead looks overly goofy. Kevin doesn’t notice, instead reading a trade magazine and mentioning that Numerator Pictures sold out and is going to be another Pokemon trilogy in a couple years. “Yeah that’s great” Vince says sarcastically “but can we talk about me now?” He tells Kevin about the dinner plans for that night and Kevin smiles, happy for his friend. “Now I just have to not screw things up” Vince says with a cheesy grin. The two talk for another minute and then Vince has to leave. As he leaves Kevin calls out “Don’t worry. Use the Force…or at least a condom for f***’s sake.”

On a bus we get our first good look at the midget. He is dressed like an Orthodox Jewish person. Nervous, the midget jumps when he gets a phone call. He answers it saying “William here.” The other voice is unheard but William (voice of Nick Frost) suddenly slaps his forehead and rattles off a lengthy string of words in Yiddish that can be implied to be bizarre curses. William tells the person on the other end that he’ll need to find someone who can interpret the creative code of the Scripter, but first he’ll have to lay low. He tells the voice to send “The Hunchback” to the rendezvous point.

Elsewhere, a computer screen lights up, tracking a telephone call. A technician places a call and tells Frank that they have a fix on the target’s cell phone and can track hi. Frank thanks the tech and hangs up. He then turns to the triplets, who are in the midst of another film argument, this time about whether a later adaptation of the same source material is either a simple adaptation done differently or a remake of the previous adaptation. Frank tells them that it’s time to get what they’ve come for. Cookie cheers in glee but then proceeds to choke on a cookie he just swallowed, forcing Hiccup to give him the Heimlich. Sick then gets up, saying “Can we hold off for a minute, I gotta take care of something.” Sick walks off-screen and seconds later we hear the sound of him throwing up.

Kevin gets home from work exhausted, so exhausted that as he goes into the kitchen, he doesn’t even notice that the TV is on, half of his food is missing from the fridge, and a bottle of whiskey is opened. Kevin gets a beer and goes to use the bathroom and opens the door to find William sitting on the toilet reading a Playboy. Kevin immediately shouts at William, demanding to know why he broke in here. William extends a hand, introducing himself as William Bobbit. Kevin shakes the hand, forgetting that William hasn’t washed it, and again demands an explanation. William gets off the toilet and says that he needed a place to lay low and this apartment looked nice. William continues a convoluted explanation of how he is on the run from a bunch of thugs working for a cinema industry bigwig who wants to dominate the film business and how he is in possession of an item they want and needs help. Kevin, frustrated, asks what help William needs. William, plopping onto a recliner and starting to eat some of Kevin’s food, says that he has a device called the Scripter. He needs to find a writer who can help interpret the Scripter’s workings and who could use it to correct some wrongs. Kevin, sighing, mentions that he knows a writer.

Cut to Vince at dinner with Mary, where they’re getting along pretty well, though Vince is clearly nervous and a tad awkward. The dinner nears its conclusion and Mary hints that they could continue the date with a walk in the nearby park. Vince is eager at the opportunity but his cell phone rings. Answering it, he hears Kevin saying over the phone that there is an emergency at his place and he needs Vince to come over now. Vince, deflated instantly, says he’ll come by as soon as he can. Hanging up, he explains to Mary that a good friend of his is in some difficulty and he needs to check on him. He apologizes for cutting things short but adds he would like to make it up to her. Mary smiles and says she’ll hold him to that.

Vince arrives at Kevin’s apartment and complains that Kevin ruined his date when he notices William. Kevin quickly explains that the guy there needs a writer’s help and Vince was the only writer he knew well. Vince says William can go screw himself. Kevin, now appearing more convinced of William’s story, says loudly “You don’t appreciate the severity of the situation Vince! If we don’t help out this leprechaun rabbi in his mission, the cinematic universe as we know it could crumble!” At that moment William says “Actually I’m not a leprechaun, I’m a hobbit.” Kevin sighs and says to Vince “see what I mean. We have hobbits and who knows what else running amok already.” Before Vince can say anything the door to the apartment is blown open. In the confusion The Triplets and a couple other goons enter.

The Triplets demand that William and his briefcase be handed over to them. Kevin is pissed about the property damage and unkindly yells at the intruders to leave. A back-and-forth argument develops with Kevin and Vince verbally outsmarting the Triplets until the Triplets remember that they have guns and threaten to kill them. “Well played” Kevin admits. Luckily all this arguing distracted the goons from William, who flings a flashbang at the goons, temporarily stunning them. He yanks on Kevin and Vince to follow him out via the fire escape. Outside, after a little running, William says that they have no idea how important the situation is and he’ll explain things when people aren’t trying to kill them. He opens his briefcase, Kevin and Vince seeing a pair of data modules. William hands one of them to Vince, saying that for now they’ll split up and meet at the rendezvous point, since the bad guys cannot complete their plans without both pieces.

Back at the apartment, the flashbang has caused Sick to lose his lunch again. As Cookie tends to him, Hiccup, hiccupping rapidly as he speaks, informs someone over the phone that the f***ing hobbit now has help and they’re on the move.

Kevin and William are hustling down a street, William lagging behind due to his short legs. Kevin mockingly asks William if he needs to be carried but before William can respond a gunshot is heard and William’s chest is blown open in a shower of blood, guts, and bone. Kevin, paralyzed, looks behind William to see a man in black walking towards them. It is Frank. Kevin spies the fallen briefcase but freezes when Frank warns him not to be stupid. Frank picks up the briefcase and asks who he has the pleasure of meeting. Kevin introduces himself and says he has no idea what is going on but he was with the hobbit since some idiots trashed his place. “Ah yes, the Triplets” Frank says, apologizing for their behavior. Kevin cracks a joke about their lack of intelligence and the two share an awkward laugh. Kevin then says “So…what now?” Frank, grinning, says “Oh now I kill you, but I promise to make it quick.” Frank aims his pistol but then suddenly a bird swoops out of the sky and plucks the pistol from Frank’s hand. The bird is a magpie. Frank curses at the bird and threatens to make scrambled eggs out of its young, Kevin using this distraction to run away. Frank doesn’t give chase. He picks up the data module, smirking as he looks at it. He then places a call on his cell phone, saying to the person on the other end that they have one-half of the Scripter.

Vince meanwhile gets a cell phone call from Mary, who wants to see if the earlier emergency has passed. Vince apologizes and says that things have gotten even more hectic and that he’ll give her a call when things settle down.

Vince arrives at the designated alley to find it empty. A few seconds later, Kevin stumbles in from the other end and waves Vince over. Vince asks where William is, Kevin says that they lost him, and Vince replies “Lost him? I mean he’s tiny and all and probably can’t run fast but still how do you lose him?” Kevin shakes his head and says that he’s dead. Vince asks how and then suddenly a shape drops down and lands between them. It is a hunchback. “It was Frank” The Hunchback (voice of Benicio Del Toro) says, the magpie from before landing on his shoulder. “Who?” Vince asks. “Tall, handsome, scary guy with a big gun” Kevin answers. “He leads the men hunting us” The Hunchback says. He then adds that since William is dead and one half of the Scripter is in enemy hands, they will need to head to the lab immediately. Kevin waves his hands and calls for a timeout, saying that they have no idea what is going on and would like some explanation. The Hunchback looks annoyed. Magpie whistles in his bird voice and the Hunchback says “Fine my friend, but I still think they are stupid gringos.” Turning his attention to Kevin and Vince, who look at the Hunchback like he is crazy, he says “My avian companion has said that you two are now our best hope, though I have my doubts. There is no time to explain things now, but soon we’ll be at a place where all of your answers will be given.” As they leave the alley, Vince says loudly, “great, now I bet that once we get to this safe place we’ll get an incredibly long and boring scene of exposition voiced by some socially inept scientist.”

Cut to a lab somewhere in the desert, where a nerdy scientist, Doc (voice of David Tennant) is at work at a keyboard, muttering as he frantically types and says science-ish things. We think he is working on something but the camera pulls back to show him merely playing the computer game Starcraft II: Heart of the Swarm. He gets a call and asks the caller to call back since he’s kicking a*s. The Hunchback is on the other end and says that William is dead and one-half of the Scripter is in enemy hands. Doc exclaims a string of profanities before adding that he was talking to his Korean opponent, swearing that there is a gene for them that makes them super-better at Starcraft. Hunch brings him back to the situation and says he is doing his best to evade the pervasive American capitalist’s goons. Doc urges him to get the half of the Scripter back here safe. He hangs up and goes back to playing the game. “Hahaha let’s see how you like my Zerg rush in your kimchi mi amigo” he says gleefully as he taps the keyboard, though suddenly a voice in the game says “Nuclear Launch Detected,” causing Doc to immediately fling the keyboard at the monitor and scream in rage.

Back in the alley, Hunch leads Kevin and Vince to an escape car. Kevin and Vince are bickering about the situation, with Vince blaming Kevin for getting him into this. Magpie chirps at Hunch, with subtitles for bird-speak saying that the coast is clear. Everyone climbs into the car which sets off for a freeway. While they drive Kevin asks Hunch who he is and Hunch says he is a fighter for cinematic freedom and creativity against the pig capitalists trying to control the business. Magpie, perched on Hunch’s shoulder, says (unintelligible to them but with subtitles) that only when workers around the world unite will the movie industry be free and starts to chirp more and more (at this point the subtitles cut out), the two friends looking more and more bewildered until finally Hunch tells Magpie that “they do not need to know a history lesson about Marx.” Hunch says they are going to a place where some of cinema’s greatest minds work to advance the medium of film.
The car ride is then interrupted by a car in front of them exploding. The car chase begins, with a bunch of goons in a pair of SUVs pursuing, aided by the triplets, who are riding in a motorcycle with sidecars on both sides, which looks ridiculous. Hiccup is driving the motorcycle, Cookie and Sick in the sidecars. As the chase goes on, with unnecessary collateral damage going on, Hunch lets Magpie fly out a window to do mischief. Through some crafty driving by Hunch the two SUVs end up crashing into one another, and Magpie takes care of the Triplets by dive-bombing Hiccup, who in fear gets an attack of the hiccups and can’t control the motorcycle, sending it soaring off a bridge into a river where the three brothers argue about whose fault it is as they swim to shore.

Hunch’s car drives on into the desert, and eventually they arrive at a desert compound. Inside they all reach a central lab and meet Doc, who is very excited to see the Scripter. Kevin asks why the darn thing is so important and Doc says that the Scripter is the most valuable cinematic tool in the world, capable of creating a “perfect” movie script when fine-tuned. Vince asks what the big deal about that is and Doc explains that the Scripter is far more powerful than anyone realized at first. While the “perfect” scripts alone were at the mercy of the whims of directors, actors, and producers, the Scripter somehow at full capacity has the power to script Real Life, meaning that the person who controls it can control the world. The two friends roll their eyes at the idea, but Doc swears it to be true. Hunch says he saw an attempt to use an incomplete Scripter to control another person’s actions, but the result was “messy” for the user since he couldn’t control the power. Doc explains that William had rescued the Scripter from Acton Impos, a movie-producer turned megalomaniac. Impos hadn’t been able to harness the Scripter’s power, but he was able to use it to influence the movie industry’s films to be mostly terrible, as a way of dumbing down the world. Kevin admits that that makes sense based on how stupid people are and how bad most films are. He then asks why a writer was needed for help. Doc explains that though in the wrong hands the Scripter is dangerous, in the right hands it could completely revolutionize cinema, but they need a writer to help unlock its components use it best. Vince admits he is a writer and Doc is happy saying that Vince might be the answer to all of their prayers but then says “so no pressure or anything.”

Doc says he needs to examine the Scripter parts they have to make sure it is functioning. He tells Hunch to show Kevin and Vince around the compound. Hunch and Magpie give the friends a tour and show how the compound is a refuge for people who worked in cinema. At one point they see a man in a jumpsuit with a big “P” on the front in a padded room freaking out, Hunch explaining that that man was the big rising director/writer in the cinema world until he underwent a huge meltdown trying to make the ultimate artsy film. Kevin nods and says “Post-Avant” to Vince. Eventually they reach a room where a single computer looms over everything. Hunch says that this is the Numbers Machine, where the writers submit their film ideas for critical analysis. “So this machine can tell you how good your film is?” Vince asks, amazed. Hunch nods and Vince asks the machine what it thinks about Dance the Night Away, the first animated film to win Best Picture, since it clearly must be very good. The Numbers Machine responds (voice of Morgan Freeman) that Dance the Night Away is the quintessential example of style over substance, dazzling with its visuals, frills, and musical numbers, but lacking meaningful character and story development. “Cool!” Kevin says, and asks the machine what it thinks about that “unicorn movie.” The Numbers Machine replies “Unicorna…error…error…error…does not compute…cannot process…Secret Society of Unicorns hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” before shutting down to reboot.

Hunch pulls Kevin and Vince away and says there are certain movies one just doesn’t ask the machine about. He figures they should head back. On the way Vince asks to go to the bathroom but instead of doing bathroom business pulls out a cell phone and calls Mary. Mary talks to him about the great date they had and says she looks forward to another one in the future. Vince is happy by this news and the two have a cutesy conversation for a minute until Vince says he has to go. He returns to the others with a spring in his step and Kevin deadpans “If I stopped eating Chipotle for lunch I might feel that good after I take a s**t.”

Somewhere in LA, a computer runs through data as we hear snippets of Vince’s phone call with Mary. A technician picks up a phone and tells the person on the other line that the trace they put on the targets’ cell phones has paid off.

Kevin and Vince are shepherded back into the main lab and Doc is giddy. Doc says he’s restored the Scripter to a mostly-functioning capacity so it’s time for Vince to interface with it and see if he can use it. The Scripter is hooked up to a cluster of computers and Vince is placed in a chair and has a lot of electrodes attached to his head, Doc explaining that he’ll have to think and the Scripter will do the rest by turning Vince’s thoughts into a cognizable story. “Just remember to leave out the fart jokes” Kevin adds. Vince nods and for a moment nothing happens. “Well this is silly” Vince says and then suddenly the film’s music goes haywire and we zoom in, through Vince’s eye and into his head where we see dozens of split-second flashes of thoughts and ideas popping into existence. The Scripter starts going into work and Doc jumps for joy. After a minute of processing they unhook Vince who looks dazed. Doc tells him everything worked wonderfully and says the Scripter functioned, but now they have to see what material it created. The computers print out a couple sheets of paper. Kevin tries to pick them up but is bitten by Magpie. Hunch looks at the paper but admits he doesn’t read “dirty English” so he hands the sheets to Doc, who gets even more giddy as he reads them. Soon everyone gets a chance to take a look and they all agree that the couple pages are pretty good for stream-of-consciousness stuff. “Soon we’ll do a more comprehensive test with you trying to lay out a cohesive story” Doc tells Vince. Doc also notes that it seems that the Scripter half is really attuned now. Before anyone can do anything else, an explosion rumbles the building and then a number of thugs burst into the lab, followed by the Triplets, and Frank.

The good guys get surrounded, except Magpie who flies up into the rafters. Frank with a smirk steps forward and tells the heroes to give him the rest of the Scripter. Hunch launches into a tirade in Spanish (no subtitles) directed at Frank, who after several seconds shoots him in the head and says “Yeah, we speak American in this country.” Frank reiterates his request and looks at Kevin and Vince, saying that they’re in way over their heads but if they give up the Scripter they can just walk away. The two friends look at Doc, who says that there is only a 1.3% chance they’ll get out of this alive without handing the Scripter over. With no other options, the three good guys hand the Scripter over. Frank smiles and says it’s good to do business with such agreeable people and goes to leave. As he does he tells the Triplets to wreck the place.

With Frank and the other piece of the Scripter now gone the Triplets with a couple other thugs start to bash stuff, with Hiccup wondering if Bill Nye the Science Guy is around. Doc is distressed and tries to stop them but is restrained. “Cheer up and have a cookie” Cookie tells Doc as he shoves a cookie into Doc’s mouth to shut him up. Doc still looks upset but then starts to chew on the cookie and gets a happy look because of how delicious it is. Kevin and Vince meanwhile are hiding and debating what to do. Kevin wants to flee since it’s game over but Vince says they were brought here for a reason and they should try to help. Everything gets interrupted by the arrival of an Asian man with Magpie on his shoulder. The Asian man (voice of Dae Kim) tells the thugs they should leave. The Triplets and their thugs laugh and say it is six against one. The Asian man grins and suddenly holds his hands together in front of him and a ball of blue energy appears. “HADOUKEN!!!!” he shouts and shoots the energy ball at the three other thugs, who vaporize. The Triplets are totally freaked out by this. Cookie finally says “On that note…” and then runs for an exit, the other two following behind. The Asian man laughs and helps Doc to his feet and Kevin and Vince come out from hiding. “Sorry I couldn’t get here in time to stop Frank” the man says before introducing himself to Kevin and Vince as Ryan Senko, but they should just call him Ry.

Doc is distraught, saying that now that Frank has the other half of the Scripter it’s only a matter of time before Impos combines the two pieces, makes them work properly, and begins world domination. Ry says that they’ll find a way to stop Impos and tells Kevin and Vince that they’re going to have to play a big role. The two friends are really reluctant to get involved any more, especially since two regular dudes like themselves can’t fight an army of goons. “Well” Doc says, “I think I know how to fix that.”

The scene changes to the desert, with Frank examining the Scripter component by a helicopter. Frank activates a hologram of his boss, Acton Impos (voice of Nighy). Impos asks Frank how the mission went and Frank says they have the other component now. Impos cackles in a typical Bond villain laugh. He already has a specialist working on the first half and soon they’ll be able to join the halves and take the world. Impos tells Frank to get back to Hollywood immediately. The call ends and Frank sits in thought for a moment before getting a smile on his face.

Back at the lab Kevin and Vince are in a hallway talking. Kevin wants to leave, saying that they’ve been dragged into this mess and it’s about time they bolt. Vince is reluctant to do that since he felt something powerful when he interfaced with the Scripter and he is afraid of what it could do in the wrong hands. He says he is going to stay and help. Kevin gets a little angry and says he’ll leave anyway and starts to stomp off before coming to a halt when Vince asks him to. Vince says they’ve been best friends since college and that they’ve always had each other’s back. Kevin sighs and walks back to Vince. “I’m going to f***ing regret this” he says as they two walk into the main lab.

Doc leads them all to a strange-looking machine (like the transporter in Star Trek) and says he thinks he has mastered a way to bring fictional constructs into the real world. Essentially, he can bring movie characters into our reality. Kevin and Vince simultaneously say “Bulls**t!” and Doc says he could explain how it works but it’ll take three hours of convoluted explaining and time is short. The two friends sigh and tell him to do his thing, with Kevin whispering “no way this can work.” Doc says that he’s thought of a few film characters for this kind of job and plugs a DVD into a computer slot. Doc flips a switch which causes the machine to make weird noises before a bright light consumes the screen. When the light subsides a woman in a strange bodysuit is standing in the machine. “Holy f**k!” Kevin and Vince say simultaneously in amazement. Ry gets on one knee, head bowed, and says “You have summoned my hero.” The woman looks around confused and says “Someone better explain what’s going on here” before taking a step, stumbling and falling flat on her face, which causes her to accidentally shoot an energy bolt that blows up a random computer. “Yep, it’s definitely her” Doc says as cinematic superheroine Empowered (voice of Lamian) gets to her feet.

The film jumps a little ahead to the next run of the machine, with Kevin and Vince still staring at Empowered who is a nerd icon for being a super-hot, super-powerful action/sci-fi heroine. “Dibs” Kevin says to Vince, who is annoyed until Kevin reminds him he has a girlfriend. The machine runs for a second time and this time a man in a slick outfit appears. Kevin and Vince nod approvingly. Doc asks the man if he’s up to saving the cinematic universe. The man puts on a pair of sunglasses and says “When the bad guys come your way, send Sinclair out to play,” at which point we get a freeze-frame showing the man, Perry Sinclair (voice of Arnett) grinning for the camera and giving a thumbs-up sign, the words PERRY SINCLAIR in bold print on the screen as a subtitle,

(This freeze-frame will hereafter be called the Sinclair Freeze for later appearances).

We see Sinclair chatting up Empowered, trying to hit on her with cheesy one-liners but Empowered brushes him off in a girly way. The two ask Kevin and Vince what the whole deal is and Kevin says Doc can explain things better. We then get the third and final running of the machine and both Kevin and Vince jump for joy. “Oh my God! It’s Bruce Campbell!” Kevin shouts, Bruce Campbell being one of the top-tier nerd gods out there. “No, I’m not Bruce Campbell” Will (voice of Bruce Campbell) says, telling them that he’s the main character from the film “Weapons of Mass Hysteria.” “Yeah, sure” Kevin says, winking at him. Will shakes his head in annoyance as Doc says that it’s time to explain some things to their new friends.

We see Frank landing on the roof of a LA skyscraper holding a large suitcase. Inside the building he meets the Triplets, who say (lie of course) that the “wimps” are out of business. Frank is pleased and says he’ll call on them if a job needs doing. Frank then goes to a private penthouse that is Acton Impos’ lair. Impos acts like a silly/crazy Bond villain and says that they’ve made progress with the first component and he can’t wait to see how the whole thing works. Frank says he doesn’t have time for scientific babble and simply hands the component over. Impos smiles and says that until the Scripter is complete and fully functioning, and the meddling “cinematic purists” are obliterated, Frank is still on call. Impos summons his chief scientist, who looks frazzled and preppy (popped collar, enough said). The scientist, who is called “El” (voice of Brendon), says he’ll get to work right away and promises that the results will be “electric.”

Back at the heroes’ lab, Ry tells the group that they’ll have to find a way to infiltrate Acton Impos’ skyscraper fortress. Additionally they’ll need to learn about Impos’ plans and the best source is Good Boy Chris, a crime lord who controls the cinema black market in LA. To do both they’ll have to split up. Ry says he will go find Chris and asks Kevin and Empowered to come with him. Vince, Percy, and Will will scout out Impos’ building. While this is going on Magpie has flown to Empowered’s shoulder and she is being girly in pointing out what a handsome little bird he is. Magpie chirps back, subtitles for his bird speech indicating that if Empowered were a bird he’d do “Discovery Channel” things to her.

Jump to Vince, Perry, and Will are on the roof of a building across the street from Impos’ skyscraper and are looking at it through binoculars, pointing out the security measures they see. Perry thinks they should concoct some slick and smooth spy sneaking plan. Will thinks they should just grab some guns and blast their way in. “Just like Bruce Campbell would do” Vince says. Will again says he’s not Bruce Campbell but Vince just smiles. They all agree they need to get closer to get a better look. Vince asks Perry if he can slip inside to scout things out in the building. “You know what they say about slipping in” Perry replies as he puts on his sunglasses, “it’s a sticky business,” which leads into a second use of the Sinclair Freeze for the innuendo.

The Triplets are playing poker as they banter about what studio makes the best animated films. Cookie thinks it’s Golden Films, Hiccup thinks it’s MCI. Sick gags at their choices and says it’s Gemini all the way. They bicker for a minute until Frank walks in, which shuts them up as they’re scared of him. Frank says the Triplets are needed to dispose of someone. On their way to a helicopter pad Hiccup asks Frank what he thinks about movies. Frank says he likes the ones where you don’t see the twist coming.

The scene changes to Kevin, Ry, and Empowered where they are staking out a hangout for Good Boy Chris’ men. While this is happening Kevin tries to chat up Empowered about what it’s like to be an awesome superhero and Empowered says that it’s her suit that does most of the work and she still clumsily gets in its way sometimes. Kevin, still smitten, tries to chat more until Empowered finally says “You’ve seen my films, you know I have a boyfriend.” Kevin sighs and says it didn’t hurt to try. Ry interrupts them as Magpie flies up to them and chirps to Ry. Ry listens and then says they should try to sneak in somehow since the front is well-guarded but Kevin says “we got someone with superpowers, how about the front door?” Empowered agrees and says she can use her powers to stun most of the guards quickly. Kevin reminds Ry that he should set his own power “to stun, not f***ing disintegrate.”

The scene returns to Perry infiltrating Impos’ building, in full spy mode. He acts suave as he flirts with receptionists, learns information, and reports back to Vince and Will through an earpiece. He learns some information about science experiments and says he will check it out. His search takes him to a floor where he finds El running tests. He chats up El, pretending to be a high-level goon for Impos, and learns a fair bit about Impos’ plans. He relays the info to Vince but an alarm goes off as security has finally figured out he’s an infiltrator. Perry knocks out El and then flees in a chase/shootout scene where he shows off some skills but is eventually met by Frank, who is intrigued by Perry existing. The two have a Matrix-style shootout with slo-mo and everything that ends with both running out of bullets and Frank knocking out Perry with a karate move. Outside Vince is distressed, not knowing what to do, and Will suggests they just kill everyone inside. Vince disagrees and says they’ll need to get back in contact with the others to let them know of what Perry discovered. As they leave, Vince gets a call on his phone. It’s Mary and she’s wondering why he hasn’t come into work today. Vince fakes a cough and says he’s feeling a little ill today but says he’ll be fine by tomorrow. Little do either know that the call has been logged and recorded by Impos’ tracking equipment.

Empowered walks up to the front door and stuns the two bouncers. The three push through the place, which is like a big nightclub, Empowered using her suit’s enhancements to move all over the place, knocking thugs out with energy blasts, punches, kicks, etc. It’s going very well until a bullet slightly grazes Empowered’s suit, causing a tear. For a second nothing happens, but then the tear super-activates and her entire body suit starts falling apart (and she is naked underneath), causing her to shriek “Not again!” She grabs the shreds of her body suit as it comes apart and jumps behind a bar counter (the shreds strategically placed so we don’t see anything), from where she shouts “Okay everyone, keep on fighting, just ignore me and my naked body.” Kevin and Ry can’t help but chuckle but soon find themselves surrounded. At that point Good Boy Chris (voice of Def) enters. “Okay boys ya’ll need to chill” he says to his everyone. He asks Ry and Kevin why he shouldn’t kill them all. Ry says they need vital information Chris has about Acton Impos. Chris agrees, but says there’s something he wants in return. Kevin asks Chris to say what he had in mind. Before Chris can say anything the roof of the building is blown in and a bunch of thugs rappel down into the club, including the Triplets. The Triplets say they’re here for Chris. Chris laughs, says “Not some more idiot crackers barging into my place,” and tells his men to eliminate the Thugs and a big shootout begins that kills lots of Impos’ thugs and Chris’ men too. Kevin spends most of the shootout hiding until Sick finds him and says it’s time to die. Kevin responds by punching Sick in the stomach, which causes Sick to become nauseous. Empowered meanwhile has finally got her suit back on and she enters the fray with lots of flair, obliterating many thugs. Ry during this saves Chris’ life from an explosion. Cookie and Hiccup realize their side is losing and drag a vomit-covered Sick out of the building. Chris shouts at them to stay out of the “hood” and thanks Ry for the assist. He says for helping him out there he’ll tell them what they need to know, but he’s not going to get any more involved.

We see a brief scene where Perry is tied to a chair and interrogated by Impos while Frank looks on. Perry refuses to answer questions and gets beat up as a result. Finally he says “You just keep on punching me, because my buddies are pretty tough and they’re coming to rescue me…NOW!” Impos and Frank look around as nothing else happens. A few seconds later Perry, a little annoyed, shouts “Now!” again. Again, nothing happens, and several seconds later Perry says “Now?” with the same result. “Okay seriously, where the f**k are those guys?” Perry asks. Impos laughs and says his friends will all soon be dead. Impos and Frank leave the room to talk and Impos says things are almost ready to use the Scripter at full power. Frank says he has to do a little task for some “insurance.”

We see the other heroes reuniting and exchanging information about Impos’ plans. Apparently Impos wants to use the Scripter’s power to be able to manipulate the powers of creativity, since mastering that ability is the only obstacle preventing Impos from using the Scripter to control reality. They have to move now or else it may be too late.

The scene shifts to where Kevin, Vince, and Mary work. Mary is going about her job and doing it well when she gets a visitor: Frank, posing as a client. Frank acts charming and nice and says that he’s been looking forward to meeting her, a slightly evil smile appearing.

The Triplets return to Impos’ building and meet their boss, who is talking with El. El says that the Scripter has responded well to unification and it can be tested very soon. Impos is pleased by the news and says he will go to the lab with El. He tells the Triplets to dispose of the prisoner.

We get a narration by Ry of the heroes’ plan to attack Impos’ building as we see a lot of quick clips showing the prep for it all: Perry is likely being held prisoner somewhere in the lower floors, so Kevin and Will get the job to enter the building through the sub-levels, rescue Perry, and travel up towards the labs. Ry, Empowered, and Vince meanwhile will access the building via the roof and go to the labs directly, since Vince might need to interface with the Scripter.

We see Kevin and Will first. They enter the basement of the building and some dialogue references they had a bad experience using the sewer to sneak in. Though Will is very eager to cause damage, Kevin is able to keep him in check. They eventually locate Perry and untie him and flee into a corridor where they encounter the Triplets and some thugs. The thugs act all menacing until Cookie spits out some cookie crumbs and shouts “Holy F**k! It’s Bruce Campbell!” Will’s eyes narrow as his face contorts in rage. He bellows in rage and charges forward, grabbing a fire extinguisher and beating all of the minor thugs to pieces in a frenzied rage as Kevin, Perry, and the Triplets look on in = terror. After Will is done he is covered in gore and the thugs’ bodies are unrecognizable. He looks at the Triplets and says “I…am…not…Bruce…f***ing…Campbell!” The Triplets look at each other in fear and then run for their lives. Will looks back at Kevin and Perry and says “Now let’s go find some guns.”

We switch to Vince, Ry, and Empowered having managed to get on the roof somehow, Magpie flitting around. Ry says that the science lab is about twenty floors down. They enter the building and make their way down to the lab where they see Impos, El, and a number of thugs. Impos is annoyed but says nothing will stop him from accessing the Scripter, which is now fully operational. Impos says that the Scripter, when fully powered, connects to The Source. “The Source of what?” Vince asks and Impos replies “Creation. I can use the Scripter to transport myself to the Source and take control of it. Then I will be unstoppable!” Ry says Impos is deluded and a fight breaks out, with many of Impos’ thugs getting taken out by Ry and Empowered, until someone shouts “I’d stop if I were you” and the fight stops. The voice is Frank’s, and he with a number of more thugs are holding Mary hostage. Vince calls out to Mary and she says Frank took her captive at work. Frank says that unless Vince and company want an innocent woman dead, they’ll stand down. Reluctantly the heroes back off and Impos congratulates Frank on his work. “I’m done working” Frank replies and orders two of his men to take Impos prisoner. Impos is shocked and Frank declares that he will be taking the Source for himself, adding “bet you didn’t see that twist coming” in a fourth-wall-breaking aside to the camera. He tells Impos that the thugs “like me more than you.” Frank says he will be entering the Scripter, and Vince will come with him. Vince at first refuses but Frank says he wants Vince with him in case there are “writing tricks” and adds that Mary will be coming along to ensure Vince behaves. Frank directs his men to strap himself, Vince, and Mary to electrodes connected to the Scripter and then commands El to turn the machine on. El complies, mumbling that he doesn’t get paid enough to deal with all this drama, and the Scripter suddenly emits a bright light. When the light subsides, Frank, Vince, and Mary have disappeared.

Vince finds himself in an endless hallway filled with doors. “Figures” Vince says “I hated that movie” (referring to Matrix Reloaded). He walks for a little while until he reaches an intersection. He turns the corner and sees Frank and Mary arguing a ways down over how they got there and Frank says he isn’t above hitting a girl. “Try someone with the same equipment” Vince says and Frank turns and demands that Vince show him what to do next. Vince has no idea but Frank doesn’t believe him. A gun suddenly pops into Frank’s hand. Vince asks where it came from and Frank says “I created it.” He shoots and suddenly a bulletproof shield pops into Vince’s hands. “F**k yeah” Vince says in amazement at his creation. Thus begins a “Creation Fight” as Frank and Vince start creating various things to attack or defend, with the things getting more ludicrous as the fight goes on but of course ends with both summoning lightsabers to fight for a minute. Eventually both get tired and stop fighting and wonder what to do next. At that point Mary pipes up “how about we go through that door,” pointing to an open door. The three walk through it, and suddenly find themselves transported into a room like the one in Masterpiece Theatre. Sitting in a comfy chair by a fireplace is an elderly man drinking tea. The man (voice of Broadbent) asks who they are. The three say who they are and ask who the man is. The man replies “I’m The Creator, the source of all creativity.”

While Frank, Vince, and Mary are inside the Scripter, a Mexican standoff occurs with Ry and Empowered on one side and Frank’s thugs on the other (holding Impos prisoner and El looking on). All of a sudden, a door explodes and is flung into the lab, taking out the thugs. Through the smoke walks Will, holding a rocket launcher. “Now that’s what I call a Weapon of Mass Hys-” he says before Kevin pops through the smoke and shouts “Don’t even think of finishing that sentence!” They and Perry enter and ask about Vince and learn about the situation with Frank and Mary. Empowered looks at the carnage caused by Will’s explosion and says to him “You really unloaded in there.” Perry puts on his sunglasses and says “That’s what she said” leading into a third Sinclair Freeze.

Back inside the Scripter, The Creator rambles about random philosophical topics dealing with creativity in a satire of The Architect from The Matrix Reloaded. Vince, Frank, and Mary all look bored and finally Frank snaps, summons a gun, and shoots The Creator screaming “Your powers are now mine!” The Creator pauses and says “how rude.” The gun then poofs into non-existence. The Creator says Frank will need to be more creative than that, chuckling at his joke. The Creator says that the Scripter has the potential to be a new source of Creation, but only a true creative spirit can harness its power. He says there is a test, but failure has severe consequences. The Creator points to a wall filled with various DVDs and asks Vince and Frank which of the films is the most creative. The wall is filled with classics of the universe, from Murder on the Fourth Floor through It’s Raining in Kabul. Frank picks a film he thinks has the best twist and Vince, after a moment, says “All of them.” The Creator smiles and says Vince is right, as all films are the most creative in their own way. Frank says Vince’s answer was lame and says he will get what he came for. The Creator says “done” and tells Frank that he has the power of the Scripter in him and asks him to use it. Frank smirks and says he is going to make Vince disappear from existence but nothing happens. “Why won’t it work!” Frank demands, straining in concentration, until he suddenly screams in pain. Vince and Mary step back in horror as Frank starts to dissolve into goo in front of their eyes, unable to control the power of pure creation as it “disappears” him. Once Frank is done dissolving, The Creator tells Vince that he has the power of pure creation as well but he can control it, and asks Vince what he will do. Vince looks at the goo, then Mary, and says no one should have that much power so he will destroy the Scripter’s connection to the Source. He does admit that it’ll still be a powerful tool for making movies. Vince asks Mary if she’s ready to go home and she says she’s been waiting for Vince to take her home since their dinner. “Oh…uh…well we can do that too later” Vince says, realizing what Mary is implying. They kiss passionately with melodramatic music playing until The Creator interrupts, saying he has one request. “Pull my finger” he says, sticking a finger out. Vince, unsure, pulls it, and The Creator makes a fart noise and laughs heavily at his joke. Vince and Mary sigh at the stupid joke and then Vince closes his eyes to concentrate and put his plan into motion and the screen whites out.

Vince and Mary get yanked back to reality and find the other good guys in control of the situation. Vince says Frank’s been taken care of. Vince turns around to see that the Scripter looks broken and says it can still work but has lost its superpowers. Ry says they’ll need to get it back to the compound. However things suddenly change when the Triplets appear with more goons and start a fight, saying this time they won’t fail. Impos uses a concealed smoke bomb to cloud the room. He tears Empowered’s suit, rendering her powerless, and then grabs the Scripter, dumps it into the nearby suitcase, and runs for it. Kevin follows him with Ry while Vince and the others fight the Triplets. El uses the opportunity to flee the scene with various gadgets and the Triplets are yet again foiled, in part by their own clumsiness. They get tied up together and wonder why they always fail. Mary suggests that maybe a life of evil isn’t for them. The Triplets ask what they should do in that case and after a few seconds Vince says “Well…we actually don’t care” and the good guys all leave, the Triplets stuck behind arguing with one another over how to move around tied together. Back to the chase, it ends at the rooftop where Impos gets into a waiting helicopter and takes off in it as the pilot. It lifts off too far for either Kevin or Ry to jump up. Kevin convinces Ry to use his powers to propel him to the helicopter. Ry agrees and does his “HADOUKEN” move to create an energy explosion that throws a slightly singed Kevin up into the air and he grabs onto a helicopter strut. He pulls himself into the helicopter and challenges a surprised Impos to a final fight.

Kevin and Impos fight hand-to-hand in Impos’ helicopter as it spirals upwards on autopilot. Impos eventually gets the upper hand and is about to bash in Kevin’s head with the suitcase when Magpie appears and dive-bombs Impos in the face, causing Impos to lose his balance and fall out of the helicopter with the suitcase. Impos activates a parachute and laughs as he glides towards the ocean below. Meanwhile Kevin doesn’t know what to do. Magpie chatters at him and Kevin says he doesn’t know how to fly a helicopter. Magpie shakes his head and flies to a corner where a second parachute sits in plain sight. “Oh, didn’t notice that” Kevin says. He puts it on and jumps to safety. We go back to Impos cackling as he holds the suitcase and says to himself that he still can dominate the studio business. At that point a killer whale leaps out of the ocean on an impossibly high jump and heads right towards Impos. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” Impos shouts in slo-mo as the killer whale opens its jaws wide and swallows Impos and the suitcase whole and returns to the ocean.

Kevin lands on a beach and is met by the other good guys. They ask about Impos and the Scripter and Kevin tells them that both became lunch, which ends the threat. Everyone is relieved and Vince tells Kevin that he was very stupid doing what he did. The mood winds down and Will says to break the ice “So…just so you all know…I actually am Bruce Campbell. I just play myself in all my movies.” “Yeah, we know” Vince says and everyone chuckles.

We return to the heroes’ lab where Doc is preparing to send Empowered and Perry back into the cinematic dimension. Perry says it’s been a great time saving the real world and that they know who to call on if the world’s in trouble yet again. He flashes a smile and gets zapped back into his universe. Then, Empowered tells Kevin and Vince they’ve both been as brave as any superhero could be and kisses Kevin on the cheek. Kevin blushes uncontrollably and Vince laughs, telling Kevin to watch out for a boner. Empowered then gets sent back. Kevin and Vince asks Doc and Ry what they plan to do now and those two say that they need to get the secret base back to working order so they can continue to foster the growth of good movies. Kevin and Vince wish them luck but say they’re done with the movie business. Bruce meanwhile says he’s just going to live life like he always does: awesomely. Kevin, Vince, and Mary leave the compound and drive off. As they do Kevin and Vince congratulate one another on a successful happy ending. Mary hugs Vince close and says “until the sequel.” The car suddenly swerves to a stop as Kevin and Vince look at her in horror until she laughs and then the two join in as their car goes back to heading towards the sunset.

In the final scene, with a subtitle saying “One Year Later” the Triplets are sitting in a bar, complaining about how they still always mess up as evil henchmen. Cookie wonders if they should consider a new line of work, Hiccup says there aren’t any good villains around anymore anyways, and Sick adds that thinking about finding an honest job is making him sick. Hiccup wonders why the good guys always have to win and Cookie says “Well, once someone takes over the world, what is there left to do? Kinda boring really.” The three nod in agreement and head out the back into an alley. After a little walking they are accosted by several thugs and restrained as they protest loudly. “Apologies gentlemen, but I have need of some henchmen” a deep metallic voice (James Earl Jones) says. The Triplets are turned around to face the source and look scared by what they see. “Who are you?” Hiccup manages to eke out between lots of scared hiccups. The voice replies “The name’s Bond, Darth Indiana Bond” and then begins a booming evil laugh as the Triplets get on their knees and bow to their new evil overlord.

THE TRIPLETS WILL RETURN IN CELLULOID VILLAINS

Edited April 24, 2013 by 4815162342

[Ezen Baklattan]

The Boy In The Watchtower

 

Genre: Drama

Date: April 28th

Theaters: 2,811

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Cast: Liam Hemsworth (Zephyr/Drake Williams), Rooney Mara (Anne), Brandon Routh (Harry), Michelle Williams (Kyra), Albert Finney (The Lord

Runtime: 157min (2hr, 37min)

Budget: $45 million

Rating: PG-13 for language, some thematic material, and disturbing images

 

Zephyr is a man who lives inside a large tower overlooking New York City, and for the 18 years that he has been alive, he has been locked in this tower all of his life, guided by a mysterious man known as The Lord, to observe the flaws of humans across the globe and live in a confined space until he was old enough. The Lord uses footage of humanity at its current place to teach Zephyrs about the entirety of this planet, to have intelligence, skill, and character that would far exceed humanity's general level of skill. However, The Lord has also taught him to be cynical and distrustful of other humans, and how they are slowly destroying themselves, and that they need him in this world to set an example. Zephyr had always been scared of what the real world would bring for him, but he was soon to be ready.

 

On his 18^th birthday, Zephyr is led out of the building for the first time, and The Lord tells him that once he sets foot outside of the building, he is never to return ever in his lifetime, The Lord shuts the doors that separate the dark night of the city to the brightly lit and white inside of this building. Zephyr, left without a home, begins to walk down the city street, holding money in his pocket. The Lord had told him that this was the secret to making humans bow down to you. He tries to find a place to stay, but he encounters a group of thugs who counter him on the street. He had learned to fight at the watchtower, so he is able to beat them all and nearly kill one of them. Zephyr walks away, thinking about how idiotic some people will be to get what they want.

 

Zephyr, feeling uneasy after the fight, passes out on the street, especially after having to be outside his long term home for the first time in his life. A young couple witnesses Zephyr’s body on the street, and they are scared for him. They bring him to their apartment, believing that he can rest there and potentially feel better. However, they are surprised that his name is supposedly Zephyr, until they find an ID in his wallet with his identity being “Drake Williams,” Kyra says that he is probably drunk and messing up his name. He soon begins to rest.

 

Zephyr spends time with these people, named Kyra and Harry, and he is surprised at their kindness. Perhaps The Lord was wrong about his thoughts about humanity. Zephyr, never having recieved a true “education” in life, is helped out by Kyra and Harry, who help him live many experiences in life, joys that he was never able to live. Zephyr was happier than ever. Zephyr had also gotten a job at a local business firm, where his knowledge is allowing him to climb the ranks. Meanwhile, The Lord is observing Zephyr’s actions with great displeasure. He was becoming one of them - not the great man that would save humanity like he had envisioned.

 

As Zephyr continues to learn more about life through experience rather than just study and theory, he develops a close friendship with this young couple, and he also begins to have feelings for a beautiful woman, Anne, whom he passes on the way into work. One day, Zephyr approaches Anne, and the two begin to talk. Anne says that he seems familiar, but he doesn’t know him otherwise. As the movie progresses, these two build a closer relationship, acting on their feelings of love against The Lord’s wishes.

 

One day, Anne is shot and killed by a mysterious man, causing much grief and sadness from Zephyr. Zephyr soon is told that he must report back to the watchtower immediatley, and to disregard the warning he gave him years ago. Zephyr soon comes back to where he grew up, and he finds The Lord waiting for him. He tells him that he killed Anne because he needed to kept on sight of what was important. Zephyr also finds out that Anne was another child of the watchtower, trained to become a powerful human being, but she was to worried about this path, opting to take another path in life. Zephyr denies what he is hearing, insisting that the lord is wrong. The Lord begs otherwise, showing him an image of a post apocalyptic world that encompasses all in the room.

 

The Lord says that without any guiding force such as them, this will be what the Earth becomes in a few years, with human action selfishly destroying the world. Zephyr looks at the lord one more time, and he tells him that he will find away to fix the world, but that his methods of domination of humanity is not the way to go. Zephyr tells him that he will see his true intention as he walks away from the watchtower. The Lord is about to stop him, but he restrains himself and says, “so be it.” Zephyr returns to Kyra and Harry, feeling that he knows his purpose.

 

Zephyr begins to lead many humans in creating new innovative technologies, policies that create compromise and peace, and so on. Zephyr admits that the Lord’s method of hatred and cynicism, justified or not, would not have helped the world as much as actually going out and making changes for the better.

[Blankments]

You still need to move Miserable Fans to May 26. Also move Girl Who Leapt Through Time to August 4.

Edited April 21, 2013 by Blankments Into Darkness

[Alpha]

Remove Food Epidemic.

[Blankments]

Fox in Socks

 

Director: Rob Letterman
Genre: Animated Comedy
Date: August 18
Studio: Blankments Productions
Format: 3D and IMAX 3D
Cast: Bill Hader as Fox, Queen Latifah as Knox, Craig Ferguson as Cox, and Wanda Sykes as the Tweetle Beetle Leader.
Music by: Henry Jackman
Runtime: 78 min
Tagline: From the Seusstastical mind of Dr. Seuss

Plot: Fox, Knox, and Cox fight crime against crazy socks who attempt to take over the world of the Tweetle Beetles.

Theaters: 3,792
MPAA Rating: PG for brief language.
Budget: $100 Million 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Wiki-filler time!

 

Frindle

Genre: Family Comedy

Date: March 24th

Theaters: 2,815

Cast: Griffin Gluck (Nicholas "Nick" Allen), Diane Keaton (Mrs. Granger)

Rating: PG for some language and mild humor

Runtime: 95min (1hr, 35min)

Budget: $25 million

 

At the start of fifth grade, Nicholas "Nick" Allen is unhappy because his English teacher is the much-disliked Mrs. Granger. One day, to stall for time in class, Nick decides to question where each word comes from. After hearing Mrs. Granger's explanation, and having to write an essay about it for homework, he creates a new name for the pen: "frindle."

 

His classmates really liked the idea and soon, every child in school is using the word. It starts to gain national attention at that point. Mrs. Granger dislikes this new word because she thinks it is not respectful to the word "pen", which has a long history. She makes children stay after school and write lines for saying the word "frindle," but this proves to be a problem, as almost every pupil has to stay after school. Parents complain, and the bus drivers that have to work overtime are also unhappy and threatened the school to be on strike.

 

The principal decides to visit Nick's house to end the use of the word, but the situation is out of Nick's hands now, and the word's usage cannot be controlled.

 

At one point, a person puts up a sign in town advertising the word "frindle" and another person, one of his dad's longtime friends makes merchandise with the word "frindle" somewhere on it.

The epilogue shows Nick as an adult in his own house. At this point, the word "frindle" became a common part of the language.He becomes very rich from the fund of his dad's longtime friend, a businessman who bought the rights to the word "frindle" when Nick was in fifth grade, and Mrs. Granger sends him a new copy of the Dictionary, recently updated to include new words, including "Frindle". She also includes a letter, where she explains that she intentionally stood against the word in order to make it more popular. He sends back a present, a gold pen with Mrs. Granger's name on it saying, "This object belongs to Lorelei Granger and she may call it any name she chooses to."

 

[Ezen Baklattan]

Move...

 

Frindle - March 10th

The Boy In The Watchtower - July 21st

Linkin Park: Burn It Down - April 28th

 

________________________________________________________________-

 

After Party

 

Genre: Thriller/Mystery/Drama

Director: Josh Trank

Cast: Alex Russel (Jake Bentley), Unknowns

Date: March 24th

Theaters: 2,721

Runtime: 85min (1hr, 25min)

Rating: R for a scene of sexual assault, disturbing violent content, and pervasive language.

Budget: $10 million

 

The entire movie takes place over the course of one night.

 

The film starts with a woman screaming and moaning in the background, and the body of a college student, laying on a bathroom floor, turning his head to the side. He is a bit bloody, and he has a black eye. He is struggling for air, but he crawls over to the wall to pick up his cell phone, which is lying on the ground. He is about to place his hand on it, as the camera fades to black.

 

We cut to six weeks earlier, and we recognize the boy in the scene, his name being Jake Bentley. He’s a brilliant mathematics major at his college, and a bit introverted. He often dreams about a girl that he has a crush on, Hannah, who has a room across from her, but he also hangs with his friend, Mike, another mathematics major who’s a bit more outgoing than he is. Mike is also a part of a fraternity, Delta Phi Theta, who often has wild parties. Jake sometimes goes to these parties, because he hears that Hannah will be there. Hannah also has some feelings towards Jake, but she is currently in a relationship with the president of DPT, Byron.  He may seem like a general college jock, but he’s actually a no-nonsense and rather cruel fraternity president.

 

One night, Delta Phi Theta throws a wild party, and both Jake and Hannah are present. As the insane party winds down, the two are talking to each other casually, even though Jake feels a bit nervous. Hannah tells him that she has to go check up on Byron, who is strangely not to be seen at a party. Hannah goes upstairs to a closed door, where two people are apparently fighting: Byron and Mike. Byron is yelling at Mike because he believes that he’s doing something with Hannah. Mike denies it, but Byron will not listen to reason. Byron stabs Mike in the neck, which causes him to bleed severely. Hannah looks on in horror, as she runs downstairs and to Jake, the only person left, that they need to leave.

 

As they walk back to their dorm in a secluded route, Hannah explains everything to Jake, how she saw Byron murder Mike and that the college students would have freaked out if they knew which is why she had to end the party. Jake gets out his phone, but he finds that it is missing. He knew that the only place where he could have left his phone was at the party, and there was a clear reason why he could not go back. However, Hannah receives a call from Byron, who says that he just wanted to talk to her again, and that he really wanted to see her again.

 

 Jake soon returns to his dorm, and he is told that Hannah will get back his phone for him. She would have called 911, but she had mixed feelings about leading to the arrest of her boyfriend. She has even worse feelings that  Jake was supposed to be killed, not Mike. Hannah returns to DPT, knowing that she could deal with Byron. She was a little bit nervous, though. She goes back into the fraternity, where Byron would still be there. He goes up to Hannah and begins to cry, telling her that Mike killed himself.  He appears to be genuinely concerned, although Hannah knows that he is acting. Hannah tells her that she was sorry about everything, playing along with the act, although she is unexpectedly grabbed by Byron and dragged upstairs.

 

Bryon yells at her, saying that he’s not a moron. He knows that she saw him murder Mike, and that if she calls for help, that he will end her. Hannah is crying in pain and agony as she tries to pull out her cell phone to send a Facebook message to Jake, although Byron grabs the phone out of her hands. She is locked into a closet, screaming to be let out. Byron talks to her in an intimidating yet cloying voice, telling her how beautiful she is, and how they’re going to have such a wonderful family. He blows a kiss, and he tells her that he will be right back, as Hannah continues to pound on the door. Hannah, now silent, finds a coat hanger in the closet and tries to get out with little success.

 

Back at his dorm, Jake is struggling to get sleep, and he is still thinking about whether or not Hannah is safe. He asks if he can borrow the phone of his roommate, and he allows him to do so. He tries to call Hannah on her phone. Hannah hears the phone ring on a table, and she waits for a moment for the phone to go to voice mail. The phone eventually does, and Hannah uses this as a chance to cry for help. It is very faint from inside the closet door, but Jake can hear her. Unfortunately, Byron hears her yelling, and he finds the cell phone, seeing that he left it on. He smashes it onto the ground, breaking it.

 

 After Jake hears the call for help, he curses, and puts on his jacket and heads out. As he leaves his dorm, he runs down the street in a panicked manner, worried for Hannah. He finds the dorm, and he knows that he cannot enter through traditional manners, or Byron might find him. He tries to climb a tree a sneak through a window on the top floor. Meanwhile, Byron closes the door to his room, and he releases Hannah from the closet. Hannah tries to attack him, calling him a monster, but he will not listen. He forces her onto his bed, and he begins to rape her.

 

Jake hears this, and he tries to break a window screen to get into the house through a different room, creating a noise as he lands on the floor. He is shocked that the room he landed in what the site of Mike’s killing, and he looks on blankly as time begins to slow. As the pace begins to pick up, Jake is knocked to the ground, and we hear more strikes as the screen fades to black. When the light returns, we return to the prologue, where Jake’s bloody body lay on the ground, and Hannah is still being assaulted by Byron. Jake sees a cell phone left on the sink’s counter, and he tries to knock on the counter to cause the phone to fall. He grabs the phone, recognizing it as his, and calling 911. “I’ve witnessed something horrible.”

 

 He smiles as the call is placed successfully, but Byron hears it. He is found by Byron, who heard his call, and he crushes Jake’s hand. He grabs his knife and tries to stab Jake, although Jake resists, taking his resistance through the hallway, until he glimpses inside the bedroom where Hannah was. Jake was horrified to find her having been stabbed and killed by Byron, much like Mike. Jake continues to resist long enough for the police to arrive. As the police sirens flare outside of the house, the red and blue lights transform into a radio broadcast.

 

The radio broadcast plays over the first part of the end credits. It reports on the murders of two college students, Hannah Whitberg and Michael Cole, at the hands of Delta Phi Theta president Bryon Victors, whose father was allegedly abusive to him as a child. He had also severely injured another student, Jake Bentley, who is currently receiving medical treatment.

Edited April 28, 2013 by Spaghetti

[Blankments]

Epic Battlers

 

Director: Andy Fickman

Genre: Family Comedy

Date: September 15

Studio: Blankments Productions

Cast: Dwayne Johnson as Thunder McScuffle, Jackson Blanchard as Ryan, Jerry Trainor as Bob, Georgie Henley as Vicky, and Michael Weatherly as Ryan's dad.
Music by: Nathan Wang
Runtime: 79 min

Tagline: Succeeders Never Fail!

 

Plot: The film opens with child Ryan, going to an arcade with his older friend, Vicky. They begin playing a game called Epic Battlers; Ryan wins the round, and Vicky playfully insists that he cheated. They start another round, Vicky saying that she is going to punch the ref and Ryan said he would help. Ryan gets annoyed when Bob, Vicky’s boyfriend, enters the room, showing Vicky a flier for his band. Then he pushes Ryan out of the way, and plays against Vicky himself. As the two are competing against each other in Epic Battlers, Vicky tells Bob that she is going camping with her father, but Bob doesn't listen due to the fact that he is too busy focusing on the game. He then puts his arm around Vicky and glares at Ryan with suspicion.

 

Back at home, Ryan looks out the window seeing Bob playing his guitar. He heads outside to inform Bob that Vicky is out camping with her family that day, which surprises Bob although she told him the day before. Ryan then says Bob doesn't pay attention to her under his breath. But Bob hears it and gets angry. He tells him that he knows that Ryan likes Vicky, and pulls out his phone, threatening to call her to tell her. Panicking, Ryan slaps the phone out of Bob's hands, accidentally breaking it. He hurriedly says he would buy Bob a new one, but Bob picks up Ryan and tells him that he's not going to get off that easily.  Bob then throws Ryan on the ground telling him to meet him at Square Park at 2:00 before walking off. Ryan gets scared and says he needs to hide but his father says he can face him like a man or hide like a wimp, to which Ryan chooses to hide like a wimp at the Arcade.

 

Ryan is then seen playing Epic Battles which he loses. His next quarter  falls out of his hands and rolls next to the game. When goes to pick it up he notices a code to unleash decisive power. Ryan enters the code because he likes things that are decisive. The game shuts off, which he thought meant that it didn't work, but then a beam of light fires out of them machine. The game asks Ryan to select a character, Ryan picks Thunder McScuffle, and Thunder then leaps from the video game, surprising Ryan. Thunder smashes a change machine and tells Ryan he needs power-ups.

 

After he sneaks home with Thunder, Ryan gives Thunder a half-eaten taco for a power-up. Thunder declares he must defeat the world's greatest Epic Battlers, then asks Ryan to take him to the Soviet Union. Ryan says that going to the Soviet Union would be tough for a number of reasons, and instead suggests that he could fight Bob, and lies when Thunder asks if Bob killed his father.

 

Thunder and Ryan then walk through town when Thunder asks Ryan his opponent's special moves. Ryan replies he doesn't need to worry about that, because after he sees Thunder he's going to wet his pants. Thunder then says that his wet pants will be no match for a pipe that he got from punching an oil drum. Ryan tells him just to give Bob a good scare. Thunder pulls out a sword as Ryan then says that the street they are walking down has dangerous litter.

 

Ryan and Thunder approach Square Park and see Bob. Ryan tries to call the fight off but Bob disagrees. Ryan then sends Thunder out. Thunder tries to kill Bob, but when Ryan tells him to stop, he says he won't stop until Bob is dead. Bob escapes Thunder and then Ryan’s dad gives Ryan a ride.

 

Bob then climbs the town water tower to get away from Thunder. Ryan tries to get Thunder to stop, but he doesn't listen and knocks Bob of the water tower. He catches him and nearly kills him but Ryan interrupts him and reveals he lied. Thunder believes Ryan is the bad guy he needs to fight. Ryan decides to be a man and enter the fight. Unfortunately, Thunder severely injures Ryan. Thunder gloats in victory, but is erased when the "Game Over" sign appears.

 

Ryan allows Bob to beat him up, but Bob decides not to. Vicky, who has returned from camping, asks the two if they were fighting. Ryan tells her that they were trying to stop two other people from fighting, and Vicky affectionately calls them her boys. Ryan and Bob then agree to hate each other in secret.

 

Theaters: 3,223

Rating: PG for some violence and crude humor.

Budget: $30 million

Edited April 28, 2013 by Blankments Into Darkness

[Blankments]

Searching for Mr. Watterson

 

Director: Morgan Spurlock

Genre: Documentary

Date: November 3 (113 theaters,) November 10 (197,) November 17 (230,) November 22 (1005)

Studio: Blankments Productions

Cast: Morgan Spurlock
Runtime: 110 min

Tagline: This film is not a licensed product of Calvin and Hobbes.

 

Plot: This movie follows Bill Watterson's fade into exclusion after the end of Calvin and Hobbes, and Morgan Spurlock's attempts to find him in Chagrin Falls, OH for an interview. Spurlock covers stories by people in the town of Chagrin Falls, who speak on Watterson's refusal to license Calvin and Hobbes, citing stories about turning down Steven Spielberg and his refusal to do an animated series just because he did not wish to give Calvin a voice. Spurlock also goes to the Fireside Bookshop, where we hear a story of how Watterson used to sneak autographed copies of his books onto their shelves for reselling. The manager of the bookshop says that it is unfortunate that people began selling the books on eBay, because Watterson stopped this practice once he heard of it. Spurlock then hears that Watterson moved to Cleveland in 2005.

 

He heads to Cleveland, and meets up with Gene Weingarten, who relays a story of how he searched for Bill Watterson. Gene sent a gift of a first edition Barnaby book as an incentive for Watterson's cooperation. He passed this, along with a message, to Watterson's parents and declared he would wait in the hotel for as long as it took Watterson to contact him. The next day, Watterson's editor Lee Salem called to tell him that the cartoonist would not be coming. Gene then begins talking on length on how there's only been a few non-book merchandise of Calvin and Hobbes, despite the popularity. The only shirt ever released was at a temporary exhibit; there have only been two calendars ever released based off the strip. Gene makes it clear that the "Calvin Peeing" stickers are NOT official. By the time Watterson found out about them and moved to stop their production, they'd become so ubiquitous and widespread that a judge told him he'd effectively lost his own trademark because he didn't act fast enough. 

 

Finally, Spurlock, though never finding Watterson, begins looking at the few works of art released from Watterson since Calvin and Hobbes. Art curators speak on his genius, saying Calvin and Hobbes is unparalleled in comics, with the possible exception of the Peanuts. Spurlock concludes the film with an interview; not with Bill Watterson, but with Richard Thompson, creator of Cul De Sac. Thompson speaks on Watterson being his greatest inspiration, and how honored he was when Watterson both painted for a fundraiser his comic did and wrote a foreword for the first collection of Cul De Sac books. The film ends with Spurlock speaking on his own love of Calvin and Hobbes, and the credits are set to pictures of Calvin, Hobbes, and various characters from the strip.

 

MPAA Rating: PG for some language
Budget: $1 million

[Ezen Baklattan]

Please give "The Storyteller" a wide release on November 10th with a theater count of 3,017.

[riczhang]

The Choice

Director: Lasse Halstrom
Studio: Arcturus Entertainment
Genre: Romantic Drama
Format: 35mm Film
Cast: Miranda Otto as Gabby

Orlando Bloom as Travis Parker
Budget: $20 million
Theatre Count: 2917
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: 10 February
Running Time: 1 hr 44 mins
 
Plot:

 

The movie begins with Travis Parker sitting by a hospital bed. He's holding the hand of his beloved, Gabby. He gets a phone call and we find out through the call that he's been coming to the hospital for several weeks, and that he has to make a decision soon. We hear his brother wish him good luck before hanging up. Then we see Travis sighing and resting his face in his hands. We cut to a flashback. 

 

11 Years Ago flashes on the bottom of the screen.We see Travis Parker watching from his lawn as Gabby is moving in to the new house next door. He's a single man content with the life he lived. He had great close friends, a faithful dog, a dream house and a decent job. He had dated a lot of women but none of those turned into a serious relationship. In fact, he had come to believe that a woman in his life will only disrupt his lifestyle for he loved adventurous sports and few women would share the same enthusiasm about such sports in their daily life.

 

Parker is stunned by Gabby's beauty and tries to be friendly with her. Gabby had been indifferent to Parker’s attempts to be friendly at first. She had a boyfriend for the past 3 years and was sort of content with it. In fact, she had moved to North Carolina to be nearer to him. They were even about to get engaged. Parker however only gets more and more attracted to Gabby as the days go on.

 

It was when she suspected that her dog was pregnant and that she thought Parker’s dog was responsible for it, she stormed into his house. They have a deep talk and over the next 3 days that followed only brought them closer and finally both of them made the choice to be together for the rest of their life and that choice had governed their life, till this day.

 

We cut back to the hospital and we find out that Gabby and Travis are now married and have kids. We also find out that they had an accident a few months ago and that Gabby is in a coma. Travis now has to decide whether or not to pull the feeding tube. Gabby would've wanted the tube pulled, as per their promise 11 years ago, but Travis doesn't. In the end Travis decides not to pull the tube, and Gabby wakes up. He holds onto her tightly, and when Gabby asks why he says it's to prevent her from going back into a coma. Gabby gives him a light-hearted telling off as the film cuts to the credits. 

Edited April 28, 2013 by riczhang

[4815162342]

closed

[Blankments]

CRAP WRONG THREAD

Edited June 18, 2014 by Blankments

[ChD]

CRAP WRONG THREAD

 

HOW?

 

How did you fuck up so badly?