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Spaghetti Kitchen: Y7 (BLANK & NUMBERS, CHECK P.6)

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CHUCK NORRIS & LIAM NEESON VS. SANTA CLAUS: ULTIMATE BADASS

 

Ho Ho Ho, Motherfucker

 

I gave Blankments many ideas in writing this film, but he did 90% of the work on this labor of love. It's a riotous movie that stays true to the satirical and wacky Chuck Norris & Liam Neeson movies while keeping true to the spirit of a foul mouthed and lady-killing Santa Claus that made the first film in Y5 a cult hit. This is possibly the craziest movie in the franchise, and I mean that in the best way. Mel Gibson voicing Satanic toys, Eminem as a rapping snowman, and so many more surprises. What's not to love! I'd say more, but it's really one of those films you just have to see for yourself. It's one helluva ride, and it might be the best one yet.

 

The Verdict

 

B+/A-

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I think Empty Hearth didn't get amazing reviews like Careful Laid Plans and Risk Management did.

It got just as good reviews.... Actually got one more point in CC than Careful Laid Plans did and placed 3rd. Topped 2 Lists, made I think it was 4 or 5 Top 5s, and won the most Oscars of its year (Ensemble, Actor, Supporting Actress, and Cinematography and only lost Screenplay and Supporting Actor)I'm not exactly sure what happened cus it didn't get either Director or Picture. It's a wild guess but I think that it could've potentially win picture and director had it been nominated. But, my favourite film won BP that year so it all worked out well. (and Oro did something strange and got nominated for a lot of major stuff)

 

I think it possibly could be because some people thought that it was too similar to TWBB. I get the arguments but I disagree. I think that the movie explores different concepts which makes it a different movie..... 

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THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER

 

Is This Riverboat Voyage Worth It?

 

Tom Hooper has tried his hand at another classic literary work, (well, it was based on the musical) but he's playing it straight with this adaptation of the classic Mark Twain novel. I liked this novel about a troublemaking youngster growing up in the Antebellum Era of America, but Huckleberry Finn is a better book, IMO. Does this adaptation live up to the great name of its adapted source? Well, yes and no.

 

This movie sticks pretty close to the book, and it's able to keep the spirit of Mark Twain's satire alive. However, the movie plays it a little too safe for its own good, staying very close to the book. That kind of dissapointed me a little bit. Even so, a straight up adaption of this novel could still at least be pretty good, and that's what it was, pretty good.

 

Austin Williams and Joel Courtney rock the movie as the main characters, and they're such a joy to watch. In fact, this is probably my favorite aspect of the movie. So overall, even if it's too safe, you've got a fun and well crafted movie that should provide fun for the holiday season.

 

The Verdict

 

B

 

 

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THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER

 

Is This Riverboat Voyage Worth It?

 

Tom Hooper has tried his hand at another classic literary work, (well, it was based on the musical) but he's playing it straight with this adaptation of the classic Mark Twain novel. I liked this novel about a troublemaking youngster growing up in the Antebellum Era of America, but Huckleberry Finn is a better book, IMO. Does this adaptation live up to the great name of its adapted source? Well, yes and no.

 

This movie sticks pretty close to the book, and it's able to keep the spirit of Mark Twain's satire alive. However, the movie plays it a little too safe for its own good, staying very close to the book. That kind of dissapointed me a little bit. Even so, a straight up adaption of this novel could still at least be pretty good, and that's what it was, pretty good.

 

Austin Williams and Joel Courtney rock the movie as the main characters, and they're such a joy to watch. In fact, this is probably my favorite aspect of the movie. So overall, even if it's too safe, you've got a fun and well crafted movie that should provide fun for the holiday season.

 

The Verdict

 

B

 

:mellow:

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Spoiler Alert for this review.

 

THE WANDERS

 

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos's Favorite Of Y7

 

The Wanders follows a group of teens as they come to a seaside house for a vacation, although mysterious events occur when they are killed off gradually, until only two are left to uncover a jaw dropping secret behind these killings, so....CAYOM's answer to Cabin In The Woods? Not quite. Where as this film was essentially a comedy in how it was a parody of horror films, The Wanders plays it straight, imitating most contemporary horror films up until the surprise twist at the end. (we'll get to that part later.) How does The Wanders stack up?

 

Well for starters, it's a good example of how you can do good scares even with a familiar premise. The visual effects of the design of the demons look a bit cheesy, but you've otherwise got some effective scares and cool cinematography, marked with a solid and creepy score. The trance sequence in which Ethan kills himself was also really slick. So as we see these kids have to deal with demons, they soon find out something horrifying and secret. So up to the twist, we've got a slightly unoriginal premise with iffy acting yet well crafted scares that kept me interested so far...

 

And then the twist happened. So apparently, aliens have controlled all religion on Earth (kind of a cool premise, I'll admit) and have used religion to keep humans in line (conspiracy theorists are going to have a field day over this) but humans have begun to deny religion and are starting to become violent (I don't see how this makes sense, at all.) so apparently the aliens, called Wanders, are now going to destroy Earth. I have a hard time buying their justification for destroying the world, so that really brought the twist down for me. Honestly, the final act was a bit of a mess, IMO. An ambitious mess, but still a mess.

 

Overall, I'll give the movie credit for having a creative twist and some effective scares in the first half, but the story elements don't mesh together well enough for this film to be an Oscar contender. The final act has decent ideas, but also some weak ones and a messy conclusion. Still, you can tell the filmmakers really tried with this film. It's still worth seeing for getting a unique experience, even if parts of it don't work as well as they should.

 

The Verdict

 

B/B-

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Here's my review schedule so far...

 

The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time

Amulet

Journey

Innocense

Justice League

Hollywood

The Rise & Fall Of Julius Caesar

A Woman In The Crowd

The Chronicles Of Narnia

The Martian Chronicles

 

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Here's my review schedule so far...

 

The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time

Amulet

Journey

Innocense

Justice League

Hollywood

The Rise & Fall Of Julius Caesar

A Woman In The Crowd

The Chronicles Of Narnia

The Martian Chronicles

 

In order?

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:( :( Kind of expected but at least it avoid a typical horror rating. B-/B is good for a horror flick. I was expecting Prometheus reception 

 

Well let's hope it doesn't get a Prometheus reception from me. :ph34r:

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The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time

 

Think, Think, Brain Blast!

 

Sam Mendes is a busy man. Coming off of two consecutive BP nominees and still wanting to make another OC. This time, he's working with an odd tale of a murder mystery set in the suburbs of London. However, the victim is a dog, the weapon was a garden tool, and the detective is a 15 year old boy with autism, Chris. I'll agree with the sentiments that Craig Roberts (whom I really liked in Submarine, by the way. Was this the film that inspired your choice, Alfred?) is too old for the part, but he does what he can, and he mostly hits the right notes. He's clever and captures what autism is like pretty well, without crossing the line and becoming an annoying protagonist.

 

The best role in the movie, however, is Tim Roth as Chris's father, who seems to be hiding some dark secrets. His performance is both dark, emotional, and impressive, and he'll certainly be on my ballot for Best Supporting Actor. The rest of the movie is also well crafted at the hand of a brilliant director. I myself really liked the animated sequences showing the thoughts of our hero. It's certainly a premise that's hard to pull of, but he does a pretty good job.

 

However, the movie is not without its faults. The script is a little slow and clunky at times, especially as the film approaches its final stretch. The film reminds me of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, where in the final 40 minutes, the main mystery had already been solved, and the characters try to manage their other problems in the time left. These scenes lacked the compelling factor that the rest of the film had, even though I can see its significance and importance definitely. 

 

But in the end, this is still a very well crafted and compelling picture. Cleverly directed and with two solid performances, albeit some minor script issues, you've got a decent Oscar season candidate, even if it may not go all the way. It's certainly worth a watch for its relative unconventianlity.

 

B+

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