zachheltzel

Business school is just four years of getting handjobs while listening to Marketplace on NPR.

@HAlanScott Sky Harbor never runs out of ways to amaze and terrify me.

Who has time for sleep AND hobbies AND a relationship AND working toward their goals AND exercising AND procrastinating?

@lafergs how can this exist

@JMShumway oh my god my friends are having a twitter feud THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Ten minutes into Democracy and chill when she gives you this look https://t.co/2RDYHmEIbo

RT @BigxCool: you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain https://t.co/sI0wQvPg0t

Yes, it's true. I did a screen test to be young Han Solo and I am the frontrunner to get the part.

Grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change. https://t.co/QYhxFeFwRv

@gregstevens Beggars can't be choosers, Greg.

I'm meeting the Pope next week!

The DC Movieverse has gone too far casting Clay Aiken as Riddler. https://t.co/TGGjH6Smxw

@davidehrlich I like how all your "sins" are views most people agree with you on.

RT @SaraJBenincasa: Look, a bathtub interview with me and your favorite creator/star of @CW_CrazyXGF! #CrazyExGirlfriend https://t.co/21zuv…

I'm very quickly becoming the least famous person I know so yeah I guess you can say I live in a white privilege hellscape.

Neko Atsume is that hologram pop star, right? Or is it those YouTube videos that make some people tingle?

You know what I'm a big fan of? Political correctness.

Read a "cautionary tale" and try not to think everything about it sounds awesome.

I will pay you to listen to all my pitches and tell me which ones might almost have a chance at selling.

I will pay you to listen to all my pitches and tell me which ones might almost have a chance at selling.

I will pay you to listen to all my pitches and tell me which ones might almost have a chance at selling.

I will pay you to listen to all my pitches and tell me which ones might almost have a chance at selling.

I will pay you to listen to all my pitches and tell me which ones might almost have a chance at selling.

I'm seeing the movie event of the year this weekend! Hello, My Name Is Doris. What did you think I was talking about?

@babbybadman I just think it's cool that you want to know. So many don't.